Fr. Jim Blount felt almost suicidal. He didn't know that God loved him until God made Himself known.

when I was in college the University of Florida in Gainesville I had a real crisis point in my life a crisis point and I really um reached a very bad place where I felt suicidal I never experienced that in my life but being away from my close-knit family for the first time and faced with all the pressures of college and in particular I was raised in a moral way but in my dormitory I was seeing adultery and fornication and homosexuality and I was seeing drug use and all kinds of horrible things and drunkenness and it wore me down it made me almost panic I did I didn't know the world could be this way so immoral and so sinful in so many different ways and I did not know how to deal with it in particular in the mists of that crisis while I was a faithful Catholic I really didn't know that God loved loved loved me personally I would go to Mass I would say some prayers and I then would call the moral life but I really didn't have to swim to fall back on that God really really really loved him personally I went through a crisis and the Lord somehow rescued me and he did it through several rivers you might see of grains but one in particular that I can never forget because it repeated it to make sure I got the message I made a retreat at the University of Florida at the Catholic Student Center and it touched all of the kids greatly they were weeping for joy at the conclusion of the retreat but I wasn't I was not touched by the methods they use even though they were good methods partly because I could sort of see through them I saw what they were trying to do so it it took the surprise out of it for me and they did some beautiful things like falling backwards into your friends orange with a blindfold and I thought that was cute and beautiful but still it didn't touch me the way it touched them at the end of the retreat at a celebration party people were delirious with joy and they looked at me and I was crying too but they thought I was crying for joy I was crying for despair all my friends were happy and I was utterly now double miserable and I asked God God what's going on how come they're so joyful I can't feel you at all and I ran back to the dormitory I couldn't stand it anymore I felt so lonely when everyone was smiling and joyful with tears of joy and I was lonely with tears of sadness almost suicidal and I went back to my dorm room thought I'd just go to bed quietly in the darkness and try to sleep when I got back there two guys who'd beat me there they were early to bed early to rise and so they were already in bed and I walked in and said hey what are you doing here a gym and I was crying I was so embarrassed I think about it would be there I said guys I'm called to be a priest I know that but you all you feel God more than I do you can feel him and love him and I can't feel anything I posed to be your priest this is crazy and I ran out of the dorm into the darkness so upset and I went straight into the forest we're out in the woods on it like on a camp I didn't know where I was going I was like losing it I was so upset I knew God called me to be a priest and now I couldn't feel anything they could feel at all I rented the middle of the woods of the forest I finally stopped at a clearing I was crying like where is God where is my father and it didn't help me very much because I had a good father at home but my father had been a judge and a lawyer Tunica be overly strict and as good as man as he was I never heard my dad me once in my entire life I love you I never heard that not even once from my dad I felt my dad hated me that he put up with me so I felt the same thing about God did he put up with me I'm out in the woods and I I have nothing left no father no God no friends no joy and as I stood there crying in a clearing I suddenly felt something around my feet and a feeling of sadness in pain of poison almost move up my legs of physical sensation like all the sadness and loneliness and despair and rejection of years like 20 years I think I was 19 at a time pulled up my legs into my stomach this unbelievable feeling of wretchedness and all of my loneliness came up and it got to my throat like has it come out of my mouth I felt an invisible hand touched my chin and it moved as I was crying I groaned as it came up to my head this and this he and moved my head up like this and I cried out why why why am I so lonely why I screamed out why and when I didn't I opened my eyes then he had moved my head up a star that very precise moment a shooting star flashed from one into the sky to the other end I never seen a shooting star in my life and in person I'd never seen one this covered the whole sky and when it doing it cut across the sky the very moment I release my pain when I said why I fell to the ground on my knees shaken suddenly I became afraid like oh my god you're real oh my god I could feel his presence cutting my heart in two I'm not down shaking it oh I got more than I bargained for I got more than I expected I was I shook for thirty minutes knowing it looking where was he because I felt his presence all around me and I slowly made my way back to the cabin how I did I look as I was lost I thought my way back and went to bed and a week later after one of my classes I spoke to my favorite professor his name was dr. barfi he was not a Catholic or a Christian he was not a believer at all he's probably one of the best men I've ever met in my entire life he was my philosophy professor and he looked just like Socrates or Aristotle the big white beard and he would have us over to his house to have wine and cheese at his house with his wife we have a class in his house he was so kind and so gentle perhaps he was the father that I never had and I ran to dr. McPhee who wasn't even to believe in God it wasn't mean he wasn't militant he just had not yet seen that there was a God as a doctor gravely I need to tell you what happened I have to tell you because I loved him I knew I could trust him so we're sitting outside in the yard at the University of Florida outside the classroom at night dr. gray fee this is what happened and I was lonely and I was dying and I ran out into the woods that I cried out and I screamed and the star flashed across and when I said that to dr. gray thie at that precise moment when I told dr. gray see about the star another star flashed across the sky over his head of leaders in Florida right then as I told him who saw in himself and flashed across the sky at the very moment I told him what had happened to me before and dr. grace he was shaken too he was well Jim he says maybe there's something to what you're saying maybe you're right it shook him up in a good way how did God do that one week later the exact same thing as I tell the story it happens in real life well this happened even more since then and unusual circumstances pres I should tell you one more and the most object that when I decided to become a priest for good and enter the monastery a friend was to pick me up in his car and drive me from where I was in North Carolina to a special Trappist monastery to make a vocation retreat a friend was gonna drive me there he was going that way anyway so I was to meet him at an outpost he was to pick me up late at night I got off the bus waited at the outpost in the middle of nowhere on a country road in North Carolina and my friend was supposed to be there at 9:00 nobody is there no lights are on everything is gone no house is 9:30 10:00 10:30 11:00 no one shows up I don't have this before the time of cellphones there's no phone there in the middle of nowhere he didn't come I started to get a little bit upset or shaken and finally when it's like getting close to midnight I knelt down on the ground and said God my God where are you I don't know where I am and it's kind of dangerous here where is my friend don't you want me to go to the monastery didn't you tell me to go will you send my friend to pick me up when I said that the star again a third star flashed across the sky over my head to the other side ah yes you're saying yes and one minute later the car showed up my friend picked me up and took me to the monastery I began my path to the priest thank God for the stars thank God for the God of the stars thank God for God amen I Love You God I love you may the whole world fall in love with you my beautiful best friend the whole and I offer you my life for this that the whole world will fall in love with you o beautiful Savior creator and God I love you made everyone too [Music] you [Music]

Channel: Queen of Peace Media

Views: 44,259

Rating: 4.968967 out of 5

Keywords: Fr. Jim Blount, Fr. James Blount, suicidal thoughts, exorcist priest, feeling lonely, lonely and suicidal, does God love me?, how to feel God's love, Fr. Jim Blount healer, miracles of God's healing, countdown to the kingdom, queen of peace media, the absence of God's love, finding God's love, Catholic love, Catholic God's love, catholic teaching God's love, God is love

Id: tBpIzV6MyPM

Length: 11min 22sec (682 seconds)

Published: Mon Jun 29 2020