Fox News and Dominion Settle Lawsuit & Ron DeSantis Wants Prison Near Disney | The Daily Show

let's start with some breaking news apparently widespread line and deceit may have some consequences and we are back with our breaking news coverage just as opening statements were set to begin in what was going to be a historic trial Dominion voting systems suing Fox for defamation lawyers on both sides reached a settlement and absolutely enormous settlement a lawyer for Dominion announced that fox would be paying Dominion 787 million five hundred thousand dollars wow seven million dollars that is a ton of money and fox was already strapped for cash Tucker Carlson can only afford one facial expression and look ability here but still we're not going to get a trial because all the Fox anchors would have been forced to testify it would have been like the Seinfeld finale but instead of instead of soup Nazis it's just Nazi since Fox is going to have to pay nearly a billion dollars they'll need to implement cost cutting measures sadly they have to fire Brian kilmeade's reading tutor Janine Pirro has to switch to the cheap box of wine development on a third Ducey has been halted they're going to have to switch from Jesse Waters to tap Waters and uh of course they're gonna have to put down Sean Hannity let's move on you guys spell that you smell what I'm smelling that combination of Jim sweat and Old Spice and unearned confidence feels like there's a lot of alpha male energy going on politics right now everywhere you look in the news there's an alpha male whipping his pecker out marking his territory punching walls instead of crying real tough guys guys like Ron These boots are made for walking to Santos who's Who's down in Florida Waging War on a cartoon mouse this morning the ongoing feud between Florida Governor Ron DeSantis and Disney is intensifying the scientists now floating the idea of the state developing land next to Disney World come to think of it now people are like well there's what should we do with this land maybe try to do more Amusement uh Parks uh someone even said like maybe you need another state prison who knows I mean I just think that the the possibilities are are are endless okay a state prison next to Disney World can you imagine what poor Walt Disney would say if he saw this I mean first he'd have a lot to say about all the Jews and black people allowed in the park but after he sorted all that out he'd be very upset that may sound like a petty move by a wannabe dictator but there's a prison next to Disney World an inherently bad idea I say no as long as they lock it they lock up strictly those Disney adults we're going to be totally fine you know I know you're trying to make adulthood feel like childhood but guess what there's nothing for you past 30. it wasn't the only alpha male on the alpha palooza main stage yesterday it was also Jim Jordan now last month a lot of Jordan fans here last month Jim Jordan's bro Donald Trump was indicted by Manhattan district attorney Alvin Bragg for no reason besides committing crimes but Jim Jordan he Alvin Bragg and Bragg's own yard right here in Manhattan the house Judiciary Committee held a rare field Hearing in New York billed as an examination of crime in Manhattan Ohio Congressman Jim Jordan rallied against Manhattan district attorney Alvin Bragg the policies being implemented by this district attorney are going to ruin this great City you know I'm surprised one that he admits New York is a great City never thought I'd hear that and two that he actually held a hearing on crime I was pretty sure ignoring crimes was Jim Jordan's whole thing rain a clap for ignoring sexual abuse allegations I appreciate it the murder rate is much higher in Columbus Ohio which is in Jim Jordan's neck of the woods maybe he should have been holding crime hearings there but even people from Ohio don't want to spend time in Ohio and I can say that because I'm from Michigan and Ohio is our New Jersey [Laughter] but there's still another guy out there who might be the most alpha male ever he Summit AT Everest he's the real life inspiration for John Wick and the current featherweight champion of the world George Santos now he just started his first term in Congress and absolutely no one wants him to run again his constituents are embarrassed by him Republicans want him to go away even the Dalai Lama said he wouldn't suck his tongue with a 10-foot ball which means there's only one thing a real alpha male would do a meddled republican at New York Congressman George Santos going back on his word that he wouldn't run for re-election instead he launched his campaign for re-election on his 100th day in office day here in Washington it's a great day to be to be American it's a great day to be here a great day to date Santos is under local state federal and international investigation say what you want about Santos but it's Uber Alpha to run for re-election when you're as unpopular as he is he's so unpopular his campaign had to refund more donation than it's taken in which means he's technically raised negative three thousand dollars you got to give it to George Santos he's the only elected official who's effectively taken money out of politics yeah all right so who is today's reigning alpha male to help me decide please welcome Desi linick which of these men do you think is the top Alpha well not to out Alpha you Jordan but none of them these are all a bunch of beta [ __ ] Rhonda santis he's losing a fight with the happiest place on earth I haven't seen Disney trample a leader like this since Mufasa and Jim Jordan flew all the way to New York just to talk about how scared he is of New York relax Jim go see that Michael Jackson Broadway show it also ignores abuse allegations hold on there has to be an alpha oh I've got an alpha for you today's top alpha male is my girl Senator Dianne Feinstein and I'll tell you why roll it the California Democrat Senator Dianne Feinstein hasn't cast a vote since February because she's still recovering from shingles her absence is holding up President Biden's judicial nominees some Democrats called for her resignation she's 89 years old she's been away from Capitol Hill for seven weeks the senior senator from California issued this statement quote I remain committed to the job and will continue to work from home in San Francisco yeah check out the truck nuts on die that right there is an alpha okay I I don't get it Dianne Feinstein can't perform her duties on the Judiciary Committee and is refusing to resign what what is what is Alpha about that thinking that no one else could do your job as good as you even though you're barely doing your job that is daddy Logan Roy [ __ ] no spoilers no no spoilers okay all right but I'm giving you one more day and then I spoil it okay fine fine look let's say this is a power move by Dianne Feinstein but there is more to being an alpha male than just not giving up your job no no Jordan is it's not a job it's a seat she's in California right now holding down a seat in Washington D.C this is the widest case of man spreading in human history okay fair fair but man spreading doesn't make her Alpha it makes her a standard male oh in her seat she's also shows 12 federal judges from taking their seats judges that could rule in favor for women's rights and preventing women from having rights is classic alpha male yes there it is okay I see it yeah it is hot dog Diane is ripping a page out of the old boy Playbook grinding it up and snorting it right off a hooker's ass salute you Diane We Salute You Alpha Diane linick everyone [Music]

Channel: The Daily Show

Views: 1,946,837

Keywords: the daily show, the daily show episodes, comedy central, comedians, comedian, funny video, comedy videos, funny clips, daily show, news, politics, jordan klepper, guest host, fox news, fox, dominion, george santos, ron desantis, disney, jim jordan, diane feinstein

Id: 6_OCkXPa_nA

Length: 9min 40sec (580 seconds)

Published: Wed Apr 19 2023