Five being sassy for 8 minutes straight (Umbrella Academy)

where'd you go the future that's [ __ ] by the way how did you get back in the end i had to project my consciousness forward into a suspended quantum state version of myself that exists across every possible instance of time that makes no sense well what if you were smarter why didn't you just time travel back gee wish i'd thought of that i guess i missed the funeral how'd you know about that what part of the future do you not understand i'd failure huh yeah no nice to see nothing's changed where's vanya she's gone that's unfortunate i'm taking the car where are you going to get a decent cup of coffee do you even know how to drive i know how to do everything can i get the kid a glass of milk or something the kid wants coffee black don't remember this place being such a [ __ ] hole you should have locks on your windows i live on the second floor rapists can climb [Music] number five i have a question where did you get that what do you care alright i found it at a playground actually huh must have just popped out you shut up she'll hear you i'm moist i thought i told you to put on something professional what this is my nicest outfit i'll read the old man's closet oh my god the sex was amazing a disturbing glimpse into that thing you call a brain i'd ask what you're up to klaus but then it occurred to me i don't care what are you talking about doesn't matter it's klaus i'm checked i'm still the leader of this family well last i checked i'm 28 years older than you i've lived a long life but you're still a young man he got your whole life out of you don't waste it do we have a deal one thing hi how's it going you must have utter silence in order to complete this task oh okay okay five where'd you been are you all right who did this irrelevant the only chance we have to save our world is well us the umbrella academy yeah but with me obviously so if y'all don't get your sideshow acts together and get over yourselves we're screwed no one else is insane i look like a 13 year old boy klaus talks to the dead and luther thinks he's fooling everybody with that overcoat here's the plan plan i'm just gonna blink in and get the file you know the door was unlocked yeah if you uh you know you're in trouble uh inspiring leadership jesus i know i got a kill to get a decent cup of coffee has anyone got some aspirin top shelf next to the crackers excuse me it's my son kenny's birthday today uh wouldn't your son be happier playing with kids his own age assuming it's okay with your two dads i would rather chew off my own foot so the crazy bastard actually know to kill himself a week before the end of the world well you know don't answer that was purely rhetorical that's not exactly what i was expecting the understatement of the year how did you know how to do that i didn't realize that if you were actually sober do you have my sister if not would you like a margarita if you never time traveled what would happen guess i would have grown up to be an emotionally stunted man child like everybody else around here your girlfriend patch what'd you like about her [Music] cute butt nice legs anything a little more profound than that it's been a while three days once mentioned b is meant to be or as i like to say quesara it's [ __ ] in any language why is it always an anal probe any closer and i'll melt your brain now listen to me ellie my name's elliot whatever all right i got 10 days to find them and save the world you look good in white what causes it i don't know maybe some looney tuned [ __ ] with the hero complex tried to save the president and screwed everything up what's wrong with you i just told you the world's gonna end in ten days yeah well you're always saying that and so far i've been right all right i already got a job wait you work in this [ __ ] i'm his body man what's that like a masseuse or something dad should have left him on the moon oh who's diego imagine batman then aim lower then why are you doing this because he is an idiot okay fine officer hey hear there's a reward out for you too why are you watching this shush oh he isn't dead disappointed well to see you always look you can either stay here and wait for the ikea mafia to come back to kill you or you can come with me i wonder if it's too late to be unadopted [Music] where'd you get this found it at his office while he was busy stabbing you well i can't be polite cut the crap all right my dim-witted brother my buyer will [ __ ] but i don't trust you for a second oh yeah little faith stick it up your ass there you go try not to do anything too stupid listen i don't know who you are or where you came from but whatever it is i'd advise you to turn post-taste i don't understand they keep following me wait who those dutch sociopaths they're swedish you idiot even if it was my fault which it isn't last time i tried i scattered my family across three years in dallas texas possibly triggering a doomsday any more questions elliot can you get vanya with that uh squeezing her to death children ride in the back you're better than i thought you were entirely average lila darling would you give us a minute please yes the grown-ups need to talk quick quote what do you think why not here's your quit here's your pro i have to say goodbye to lyla lila doesn't give a [ __ ] about you diego she was just using you to get to me you're the oswald of this story my friend the goddamned patsy was a simple task all you had to do was be here didn't have to fight a giant sea monster no an army of mutants nine now what now nothing luther all right make your peace with god well it's a desperation move but since our brain-dead siblings aren't capable of needing a simple deadline you know you're a terrible liar luther you're a worse liar than you are a spotter manny and you're the one acting like a maniac maniac luther you have seen nothing if you want a maniac i will show you mania listen i know your feeble mind only responds to age and authority so listen very closely i'm 14 days older than him i have seniority here so it is me you should be listening to luther i'm the daddy here see what's your plan down bucko you want it go ahead what's that now where were we hey i'm nuts they had hunted you the village idiot you all right oh i think that's what i'm done luther if you swallowed your tongue you wouldn't be talking big [ __ ] so what do we do now well we got two choices fight and die now or a running day later either way we're food for worms won't mind a few more minutes breathing there through the old one back you

Channel: Valerie

Views: 1,560,928

Rating: 4.9832034 out of 5

Keywords:

Id: 5aEqXQRJ6FY

Length: 8min 0sec (480 seconds)

Published: Wed Aug 19 2020