FIRST DEPLOYMENT TIPS & ADVICE : NAVY GF

[Music] hi guys and welcome back to my channel my name is sam and if you're new here don't forget to like and subscribe so you can join the family so today i am doing as you guys read in the title my first deployment as a navy girlfriend so i have done a video prior to this i don't really do a lot of navy videos but i did a video on my experience as a navy girlfriend boot camp edition and so many of you guys have gotten back to me with your experiences with your questions and just showed me how much the video helped you so i decided to do this video on the first deployment because you know it's not something that everyone goes through it's not something that everyone understands and i just hope this video helps more of you and i'm pretty sure if your boyfriend was in boot camp he's probably now on duty somewhere maybe in your hometown or maybe deployed so let's get to the video i have certain tips and i guess what's helped me the most everyone's experience in deployment is going to be different because it depends where your boyfriend goes or your husband it depends where he's deployed and it depends you know if he's on a ship or if he's in land well for my boyfriend he is overseas and he's in a base so i would say the first thing that like really hinders your relationship uh it's a time difference you know the time difference he is an eight-hour time difference well right now since the time changed he's a nine hour difference so definitely that's something i that you have to get used to because i was used to talking to my boyfriend every single day for like the whole day you know and that obviously changed because while i was asleep he was awake while he was asleep i was awake so we only had like about an hour or two to talk um before i went to bed and that really depends at what time he works so for my boyfriend he is an mma which means he's like a police officer in the base so he does like guards and stuff he guards the base and stuff like that kind of like a watchman his ships work he either works the morning shift or the night shift and when he first got there well when he first got there he was quarantined for 14 days which it didn't really make a difference because he was still sleeping at whatever time he wanted he was still waking up or whatever time he wanted so the time difference wasn't as big although he tried to get used to the new time we really talked like every day all day but once he actually started working he started working the morning shifts so this is when our time differences were like completely opposite and at that time we couldn't like i mentioned we couldn't really talk we could only talk like about two hours per day and kind of text here and there but it was very minimal so that was kind of really hard for me but what me and my boyfriend did when he was in the morning shifts is that we started to schedule dates so he was off and let's say they work like four days for my boyfriend he was off like two or three days every week so on those days we would schedule a time that we could have a little date through facetime where it was basically just being on facetime either we would both eat something or like we would both just set a time apart to be on facetime with each other like just the two of us and that's where we were like catching up throughout the week like just basically like a date like we would just talk about what's been going on what's been going on through our minds what's been happening you know because you don't see them anymore so you want to know like their day you want to know their friends you want to know everything so it's just a time to like i quality time basically so i would say that's very important if you don't get to talk to him every single day definitely schedule dates where you just have an hour or two to catch up on what's been going on in each of these lives because there's so many things that sometimes you don't remember that you haven't told them until you're like going on a conversation and you're like oh yeah remember this and they're like no you haven't told me so it's just important to set that time apart to just open up basically and that leads me to communication communication i've said this so many times but communication is so important not only you know when they're deployed is important in a relationship period but when your husband or boyfriend is deployed you definitely need to communicate everything me and henry have you know obviously it's a hard time for us you know the pandemic hit right when he was leaving so everything is different i can't just go visit him he can't just come visit me it's a lot different you know so definitely communicating our struggles communicating what we like what we don't like is very important because many times they don't know and you don't know what's bothering them and it's just very important to tell them everything so for example for me my boyfriend kept telling me how like oh i'm gonna be there for two years and then he was like oh after this like i'm gonna go here and i'm gonna go there he was just kind of like telling me like his ideas and in his like sense it wasn't wrong but to me i'm about to graduate college so i'm really like thinking like what the hell am i gonna do in my life you know like where am i gonna go where i'm gonna apply for jobs all of this and we were just in two different worlds seeing like two different things but still like including each other in each other's lives but just in a different way you know because when you're apart you start you start developing different ideas and although you include each other and your ideas you have to really communicate that idea to like make it into one i don't know that's like too deep but it is very important you know because you might be right now like working at a job that you want to live there like your whole life this is your dream job whatever and then he's like well we're gonna get deployed to like washington or something like after these two years so you really have to talk about you know not only this deployment but what comes after that you know really communicate your ideas what you want in life what you want because obviously if you're with your boyfriend through deployment you better want to marry that dude you know and stay with him for the rest of your life because this is not easy this is not something you do just for fun just to be with somebody like this is hard work and dedication so definitely communicate everything communicate your new ideas he's gonna be deployed for two years my boyfriend i don't know how long your boyfriend's gonna be deployed for but uh those two years really shape a person right now he's been in for three months but even these three months intense months of just a new lifestyle of new ideas of a new avenue you basically like you're still the same you but you just develop new things that you want in life so in that time of development it's very important that you guys communicate everything um and just come to an agreement of you know what well i want this well you want that well we can come together here whatever that is in your life i know i went a little deep and ranted a little bit but i do think that is very important because if you guys start drifting your views you're gonna end up drifting apart because you're gonna end up wanting different things and that is just not it's not worth the stress it's not worth it if you're getting through deployment then you'll get through life with him i i feel that a hundred percent but yeah just definitely just tell them everything communicate everything even communicate things that you don't like that they do like let's say they only text you like a night and you're like well i really wish like you would text me at least in the morning when you're about to go to work or like something small whatever it is just just tell them and you guys will fix it as a couple every couple is different but just whatever bothers you whatever is on your mind make sure you tell them because they can't read minds so yeah communication i know that was a little of a rant but whatever like i mentioned since covet happened we can't really just travel and see each other first of all because of like we can't travel like that's just first thing first but then secondly if you are able to travel it's because of a like an emergency or something that you really have to do and even if you do end up traveling you're gonna have to like the country that you go to you're gonna have to be quarantined for 14 days and then you're gonna have to like spend some time there and then when you come back you're gonna have to be quarantined for 14 days so really it's not worth it because you're being you're gonna be quarantined for so long that you can't even really take a month off just to go be like i'm gonna take a month off to be in quarantine for like a whole month and then just be there for five days you know so the travel really sucks right now so facetime is your best friend zoom zoom with your boyfriend i swear that helps so much because when you zoom you guys can watch a movie together you guys can see the same screen you guys can just be on the same page travel right now it's not really applicable he might be able to come not for christmas after christmas but it's just you know you're just gonna have to suck it up and do long distance because although it's hard travel is not the best ideal right now at the moment and although it sucks i'd rather be safe than sorry if i do end up traveling to go see him i'll definitely do a vlog on that and i'll explain how it works but as of right now just stay home just facetime him facetime him assume him you know just cope with what you got i know you miss him but just you know just be safe another thing that goes with the travel other than being quarantined and all that is their leave days um their leave days are obviously kind of like a normal job but a little bit different because they are like kind of like on-call or it depends what his job is but let's say he has like 14 days to travel he can't just choose like oh i'ma like get 14 days off on christmas you know it's like they have this whole section of people that they need to like get leave on and since he's like new his it's his first deployment and everything he doesn't get priority so the people that get priority the people that have been there for you know three years four years that are about to like leave the navy they get priority so if your boyfriend is their first deployment they're probably not going to be home for christmas they're probably not going to be home for like the days that you want them to be and honestly you know i understand it comes with a job whoever has been there the longest probably miss their family the most and your boyfriend is like freshly in a new city and he's just fresh you know although he might miss home he's not as homesick as other people so you just really have to be you know put a thick coat on and just be strong because at the end of the day they're right if your husband was there for like three years and they sent a dude that just got their home you would be mad you know so just kind of like cope with it and just make new dates send them something for christmas gifts are definitely important make sure you're sending him like although we're not in boot camp anymore send them a care package or send him a letter or just send him like something so that he feels like home because he doesn't ever have anything over there send him uh gifts or send them just i don't know text or a letter or just send them a care package send them something i know it's expensive because it's overseas but just make the effort and do little things here and there and maybe you don't even have to mail something maybe you could just like i know for my boyfriend i post him a lot on like twitter and i post them all on instagram i'm like i miss you i love you and that honestly makes them feel better because it's like i'm not acting like i don't have a boyfriend everyone knows i have a boyfriend everyone knows i miss him and although it's like a public thing that does make him feel better because it makes him feel like he's he has someone waiting for him at home so definitely just make him known let him know that you're proud of him in random times even if he's not sad or even if he's not like going through it just like randomly text him and be like i'm so proud of you i do that a lot i just randomly texted him i'm like i'm so proud of you for like standing up for what you wanted and actually going through it i don't know i want to cry just like let them know that you're proud of them why am i getting like teary i don't know at random but yeah just let them know that you're proud of them because many times they're like damn like i made a mistake you know like i shouldn't have joined the navy i shouldn't have done this and it's like normal thoughts why am i like tearing like gary you want to cry i don't understand but yeah many times they have doubts of what they've done so just make sure you're supportive make sure i know not all the time you're not going to be like i love the navy you know but just sometimes you have to be the stronger person and just be like i'm with you throughout whatever you do and just letting them know that you support them is very important you know your words matter so much like yes you can send a care package which obviously is going to be amazing but also make sure with your words that you reassure them like i love you and i'm going to be here you know till the end like i'm here to like stay with you and just really let them know that you're a support system to them because that is very important when they don't have i know they have friends over there but they're not family you know they're not the love of their life me you know just just the words banners so just let them know you're part of them another thing i wanted to talk about is going to be don't listen to negative people so there's going to be a lot of people that are going to tell you are you sure you're going to do this you know they're going to be like oh girl he's going to be gone for two years and you're going to stay they're going to make you feel like why are you doing this is it even worth it so those people you need to get away from those people because it will get to you there's if you start thinking about everything that could go wrong so many things can go wrong but if you focus on the future that you're gonna have with this person then you're gonna have something to look forward to if you hang around negative people that are like judging you for even doing this you know first of all are they even your friends because they should be supportive but just if you have that negativity if it's your parents if it's whoever just tune them out you know tune them out and they don't know your relationship with your boyfriend they don't know what your plans are with him they don't know anything like your relationship with him it's you and him so don't let anyone come between that and don't let anyone tell you otherwise because there is going to be people are going to be like oh like you're going to do that you're going to do this because it's very easy to doubt it but it's very easy to be like oh like that's hard like yes it's hard but it's not impossible so just stay strong and don't listen to negative thoughts and if you ever need a boost or something you know i always say this i leave my instagram link down below and i'll put it here so you can talk to me i'm someone that's going through it and you definitely need that which leads me to community i've said this since my boot camp girlfriend video community is so important and it doesn't always have to be a community of navy wives although if you get navy wife's navy girlfriends obviously that's going to help you in another level because they're all going through the same thing but if you don't have that because i don't have that my only friend that is in the navy she's um with her husband right now in washington so she's with him although i do talk to her she's physically with him so it's a lot different than what i'm going through but for me definitely i always mention my dance girls my dance friends and my friends period my family you know they've been my support system so just make sure you have and by a support system i don't mean you always have to talk about like your boyfriend and stuff i just mean people that are there when you need them you know people are gonna like boost your confidence up when you feel sad people are gonna be there on like hard days like your anniversary or like um christmas or like even halloween you know like my friends were here with me for halloween and it just makes you feel better so definitely have that community that you can count on and that community that you can be vulnerable with like definitely even if it's two or three people or if it's 10 people if it's your mom if it's your dad whoever it is just have that person or those people that you can talk to that you can just vent to you do need that you know you just still need affection from people you still need love you're a human being so you still need to be heard you still need to be like event you still need attention basically from like someone physically there so definitely feel that with like me like i said i talked to my mom and my dad like they helped me out so much i visit them like every weekend and they just make me feel at home they make me feel loved they make me feel like it's okay you know and my dance friends just like help me to just get distracted getting distracted is so important just spending the time apart to do fun things is important just get your support group go out with your friends go out with the girls have a girls night you know is important for sure i don't want to make this video too long but i think the last thing i want to talk about that i always talk about is god so definitely stay praying prayer let me just you know if you're not a christian if you're not anything at all i just want to say you know prayer has power and building a relationship with god has helped me and my boyfriend so much as well so i'll leave that as my last point it's just for me before you tune out don't listen to me i'm doing this video because it helped me and i hope it helps you really i have this like a prayer group i know it sounds weird but i have this prayer group that i go to like every tuesday and just going in that environment where everyone's just like i don't know like praying it's just it just brings me peace you know to like worship and to pray and like all of that just brings me so much peace of mind peace of heart so i would definitely say pray because sometimes even when you have a support group and even when you have people around you you just need god to fill the void that no one else can like not even your boyfriend so definitely keep praying keep on worshiping keep on like reading the bible keep on doing whatever you can with god i don't know god just helps me a lot with my peace of mind i just tell them everything and you know i pray in a very different way sometimes i pray like yeah jesus in jesus name you know and sometimes i'm like god like what are you doing like i don't understand what's going on why is this happening you know just talk to him and he listens so i just wanted to leave it off with that prayer has power and i love you guys so much i really hope this helped i hope i didn't just rant on and like didn't even make sense out of it but i love you guys so much if you liked and enjoyed this video please make sure to like and subscribe and if you are going through the appointment yourself please leave a comment down below and let me know and like i said i'll leave my instagram so you guys can dm me with your thoughts your ideas your anything really that you have prayer requests like anything at all i am open to it and i hope this helps somebody i love you guys so much and i'll see you in my next video bye

Channel: Samantha Miramontes

Views: 2,192

Rating: 4.9512196 out of 5

Keywords: iMovie, navy, navy girlfriend, deployment, first, couples, navy wife

Id: vUEsjoJV_tg

Length: 17min 44sec (1064 seconds)

Published: Sun Nov 08 2020