DO's and DON'Ts of DEPLOYMENT COMMUNICATION

[Music] hey Britton confam welcome back to my channel so today I'm doing a requested video from thread head guru and they asked me to do a video about the do's and don'ts of communication between person who is deployed and the person who's home and so I'm going to be doing that video for them and then also kind of just things that you should not say in general while your person is deployed so yeah let's get started so if this is not your first deployment if your husband spouse person has been deployed before you probably already know kind of most of what I'm going to say in this video but if you are newer to the deployment like I am this is something that I had no idea about and so I want to let you guys know all this information that was new to me and one of the first things that you should know in your first deployment is this thing called OPSEC I believe that's how it's pronounced but basically it's Opie sec ops ik and what it stands for is operational security and basically what it is it's just this like set of rules to protect the people on deployment so that you yourself aren't saying anything that could potentially harm them or potentially get someone captured or killed or anything like that you want to protect them and so this like security thing is a set of rules to help you keep them safe and so I'm going to run through these really quickly so you can get an idea of what they are and then I'll go into the do's and don'ts of relationship communication so you may have all heard the phrase loose lips sink ships and that phrase comes from just like you know gossiping or you know just saying like oh my husband just left on deployment or oh he's here oh he's here it's like you don't want to say those things because loose lips sink ships he could potentially get harmed with you saying all this stuff and so I wrote a couple of them down and the first one is do not say specific dates so don't say this is when my husband boyfriend person baba is leaving or deployment don't say this is when so-and-so is getting home from deployment or even I think they're getting home from deployment this day and this is majority for social media if you are in a room with someone closed doors and you feel comfortable with them and you've known them and you feel like you want to tell them because you're close to them like that's okay but make sure you know them maybe it should only be a family member or I don't know just like anybody you feel comfortable with but don't be saying it to just anyone and definitely don't be sharing it on social media so the second one is don't be sharing locations don't say that they're about to port somewhere or they're about to leave to this place or you know don't share anything about location don't say the movements of where they're going don't be saying like they're about to go here or there like this like near this area or like anything don't share anything about locations at all because that could definitely definitely be harmful to them the third one my kind of touched on this on the first don't share when they are coming home even if you don't know the day you can say like it could be August 1st or August 15th or like giving even though you're getting different dates and you aren't sure that still could be harmful because it's like specific dates it's not just like August August saying like they're coming home and August is fine but it still could be potentially harmful so just watch who you say that to another thing that people don't know is don't share photos that the person who's deployed has sent to you and now you are sharing them don't do that because there's this thing on photos called like geolocation and if they took a picture and their geolocation is on and you know say there and I don't know like Afghanistan say they're in Afghanistan and they press them in and they picture they sent it to you while their location is still in Afghanistan you put that on social media the location is still with it and some like really smart hacker or terrorist could find that and could find them and that's potentially super super harmful so don't be doing that and the last one there's a couple more that I did talk about and you can always research this about like offset rules to look at more but the last one is just don't be posting about what their specific job is because because that could be harmful too so just think about stuff like that before you post it on social media just think could this be harmful to him I heard when we were in a meeting that ships and troops have actually gotten delayed coming home because they were worried and the word got out that they were coming home and so they didn't want to risk getting caught or like getting heart in harm's way or anything like that so don't be saying anything because they could potentially not be coming home because someone now knows when they're coming home so just be careful about all that stuff and don't be sharing that so to talk about communication between you and your significant other during deployment to go back to what I have just said you should not be talking about specific locations and specific dates with them if you are going to talk about specific dates and specific locations you didn't make up your own like little code that you do and it needs to be a code that is actually unbreakable I guess you should say because some people think they're really smart and they come up with these really cool codes and they're really not that Cody I guess or like hard to crack me and my husband when we first did our codes they were super super like not hard at all and who we figured that out and so we had to change it and we had to make it more difficult so just be sure you make yours difficult if you're going to talk about stuff like that another thing that you should not be talking about which is kind of self-explanatory I worry but possibly not is death you should not be talking about death with them and even if like this is kind of extreme but if someone were to die in their family you are not responsible and should not tell them over email or you know if they can call or whatever you should not be the first one to tell them I learned this thing while we were in our meeting that if something does happen to his family or to me or to anyone that the first person I should contact is the Red Cross and then the Red Cross will contact him because if it was just me to tell him and I just kind of like told him someone died and no one was around to like kind of be like are you okay or what like he just heard the bad news and now he has to go to work if you tell the Red Cross they go through the chain of command the chain of command helps him and like you know talks to him and you know all the things that he needs while he is deployed and so definitely don't talk about that don't talk about any bad news like that if something does happen go through the Red Cross first so another thing that I want to talk about our feelings I've got a lot of emails where girls will say that they're not going to share their feelings with him because he's you know unemployment he's focused he's you know like you don't want him to be mad at you for having these feelings like no that should not be the case like you should be able to tell him your feelings if you're not able to tell him your feelings if he gets mad at you for sharing your feelings he probably isn't the right guy for you because I mean if he gets mad because he doesn't understand you and then you're like oh no this is what I meant and you'll have a conversation about it and he's like okay and I didn't know that I'm sorry buh bah that's understandable but if he just like doesn't want to listen to your feelings if he doesn't care that you're sad if he doesn't care that you feel lonely or the key picture just doesn't want to listen to your feelings that's not okay should not be with this guy if he doesn't care and it's okay to talk about your feelings with the person who is a deploy just the other day like I got a chance to talk to my husband and I told him that I was crying and I told him that I was sad and you know we talked about it he's like I'm sorry and you know we just like had a really good conversation about my feelings and you should be able to talk about that kind of stuff and I mean don't take up the whole time look just this is how I feel of all like you want to have good conversation but know that it is okay to share your feelings with them because if you want to spend the rest of your life with them you should be able to share your feelings with them too it doesn't matter where they are they should be able to listen to you and like kind of help you process that and so know that that is definitely okay and you are able to do and you should be able to do that and the last thing I want to talk to you guys about our arguments now arguments can range from money problems to just a lack of communication and it's something that I encourage you ladies to do is if you do feel like you are in an argument and you're able to email him maybe write him an email saying how you feel and before you write that email take a deep breath and just breathe because sometimes as women we get angry you just are like oh I'm so mad at you so mad at you bah bah bah like blah blah blah and you do not want to do that you do not want to have an angry argument over email while they are deployed and something that I want to address is really think about that argument before you send an email because he's gone you're missing him and think is this worth the argument is this worth me putting more stress on him when he is out there fighting for our country or can I just let it go not a big deal if it's not something like that I still encourage you to write that email but again take that deep breath and say I'm not mad at you anymore but this is how I feel I feel this way and I just need you to understand how I feel I need you to understand that this is what happened and now and that's why I got upset and I just need you to apologize and know that I need to hear that from you because I just feel hurt and really talked through that and talk in a calm email in a calm way for where they don't feel attacked because when we as even women and especially men when we feel like someone is attacking us we get mad and so if you're attacking him he's not gonna be like oh I'll calm like this he's gonna be mad and he's gonna be like what the heck stupid woman like get away from me you know he's gonna be mad and not want to talk to you so definitely write an email that's like super calm and an understanding and and everything like that so as far as the lack of communication I think it is super important to have these conversations before going on deployment and saying this is how much money we're going to spend this is the communication that we may or may not have we are going to talk you know I want to talk I want to be able to talk to let's email let's write letters let's do this stuff like be on the same page with communication because something that I learned in the meeting is that sometimes the men don't want to talk to the women because they feel like if they talk to them they're gonna miss them and the other person I'm going to miss them and they're going to be distracted from the mission and and then on the other side the woman's like why isn't you talking to me I miss him I want to talk to him and so like they're both on separate pages not understanding each other so make sure you both make it clear like you're going to talk to each other and if you aren't going to talk to each other then that needs to be clear also but I would encourage you both to want to talk to each other but to have that conversation so you know where each other is at in that communication level but if you are currently in that situation again like write an email and say like be calm and say I would really like if you know we had conversations more I miss talking to you I feel like we're getting distant because they may just not know that they're like they're acting that way or or anything like that so those are kind of my tips for deployment and do's and don'ts of communication and if you guys want to be more in depth with just this topic you can definitely email me and my email will be linked below as always my new store is up so be sure to check that out and I'm super pumped about it so get excited and these are just some things that I'll have on my website more will come in the future so that's also exciting be sure to like this video subscribe to my channel and comment down below anything your heart desires please make sure to email me if you have any any questions I love to hear your thoughts and just all that stuff um so anyways I love you guys and I will see you in my next video [Music] you

Channel: Brit+Con

Views: 47,675

Rating: 4.901566 out of 5

Keywords: do's and don'ts, deployment communication, military life, navy wife, milso, military, navy, army, coast guard, airforce, loose lips, sink ships, opsec, opsec rules, confrontation, deployment, communication, first deployment, married young

Id: vwXGZ80mXX8

Length: 14min 24sec (864 seconds)

Published: Fri Jun 23 2017