FINDING PARADISE IN COLOMBIA

[Music] is a lakeside resort town considered to be colombia's most picturesque pueblo sounds like paradise right i got a little beef with the hotel we don't really have to dive into it this [ __ ] hotel man no wifi in the rooms i can't lock my door breakfast was not ready at 8. listen i have low expectations all i need is a door that locks from wi-fi and i'll be a happy gringo but then again i was chilling poolside in the most beautiful region of colombia in the midst of a pandemic so decided to stop being a huge [ __ ] and change my tone gonna take a couple deep breaths i'm fine because today we're climbing el pano la piedra de el peno you see that giant [ __ ] rock behind me yeah we're climbing that today it's not like we're not rock climbing they have a staircase i'll be fine all right let's climb this [ __ ] rock la piedra el pegno i think that means the rock of el pino i know nothing else about it i'll have to explain the history of it how it came to be in a voice over just as i assumed el panol de guatape is indeed a giant [ __ ] rock that used to be worshiped by the area's indigenous people it was first climbed in 1954 by three friends using only planks wedged into a gaping crack that extends the length of the rock while it took them five days to summit 740 stairs were later built zigzagging all the way up the rock face and now any fat gringo can do it it's an excruciatingly painful walk a bazillion steps but when you get to the summit they have a bunch of beers water so i think we can crush it you know i'm not in good shape but i see some tourists walking up it that are in worse shape than me so we should be fine i'm doing okay so far i just don't know if it's like a 25 minute walk or an hour walk but so far so good you good buddy yeah he's good [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] endorphins are flowing this is the first time i've exercised enough to uh trigger endorphins maybe since coven 19. [Music] not too bad honest i mean not as bad as i thought [Music] [Applause] el cemento now look at this place we got like three bars incredible view time to decompress then head back down lake watape was created in the 1970s by the construction of a giant hydroelectric dam that flooded more than 15 000 acres submerged in nearby town and created thousands of islands today the dam is the largest power plant in colombia and the lake is its most popular tourist destination talk about a win-win unless of course you used to live in the town that's now at the bottom of it this lake is incredible like i did not expect to find a lake like this in colombia i've seen some solid lakes in south carolina this reminds me of that but just like 20 times as big on some of the islands there are pine trees um which you know you would find in north america i've always said i'm an ocean guy i'm an ocean guy but if i had access to a lake like this i would easily be a lake guy [Music] once you make it to the top you can order a cerveza con mango a little bit of like a salt rim just beer with mango this might be the most refreshing beverage i've ever had what are we going to call these mangodas and honestly if you come to columbia don't be afraid to walk up i haven't been exercising for the past year i made it up heart's feeling great [ __ ] i'll hit the vape right now that's how you know it's not that bad i mean even big cat could probably make it up here he's like the limit if you're fatter than big cat you're not going to make it up actually he's not even that fat anymore so frank the tank not making it up too hey never underestimate frank the tank i'm not going to say he couldn't make it up here he has done some incredible things hike up the rock grab three to four mango beers and you won't regret it [Music] very good squat form very good form on the squat muy bueno muy bueno squat [Music] some of the booties i've been seeing in colombia look like they belong to a different species i asked chef donnie to get a shot of one in the wild for strictly anthropological purposes he wasn't subtle about it though and it was immediately obvious what we were doing keep going donnie you got us caught she clearly knows we were filming her ass now but instead of being called gringo pigs she did a little dance for the camera [Music] talk about showmanship i don't hate that though instead of being like you creep she's like yeah i know i have a very impressive booty it was definitely a creepy move though and we took that as our cue to head back [Music] down [Music] next stop was the town of watape which i had heard was just as vibrant as the surrounding countryside [Music] okay we have made it to downtown guatape this town is awesome so far haven't seen much but it's colorful i just got to find some wi-fi so i can find a boat that we can rent because i would love to get on that lake but first let's take a little stroll around maybe get some grub i don't know feel it out this place is good energy [Music] we're now in plazoleta el doco i don't know who or what the zocalos are or were but i'm going to take a guess and then my vo can fact check me i think it was probably the group of people that settled here wrong zocalos are the fresco-like panels that decorate the bottom of almost every building in guitar bay and the reason it's often called the most colorful town in the world anyways i needed to find a [ __ ] boat pablos [Music] see [Music] [Music] one of these boats work yeah the 150 that's a nicer engine all right let's do it juan diego san diego and juan diego let's do it oh we got a 115 kawasaki this thing's going to come oh sorry it's a suzuki i guess we're getting off here this is called la fantasia that's all i know about this island and if juan diego thinks it's a worthwhile stop then it's a worthwhile stop the name fantasy island gave off jeffrey epstein vibes but i soon learned juan diego had brought us here because it's the only spot in the lake with a beach to go hippo mode at the jeffrey epstein comet was way off this is a very wholesome island it's a family-friendly island life i have to wear this hey this yeah okay no one in columbia seems to believe i can swim i think it's just their insurance policy i was like i know how to swim it's fine he was like no but the water here it's sweet water what he meant was that it was fresh water he's like very hard to swim in it's like dude i don't only know how to swim in salt water few of the houses this is the best hippo mode session i've had so far he is running for the boat that would be installed though if he brings us here that just runs just leaves us here maybe this is jeffrey epstein's island he wasn't leaving us he was pulling the boat around to pick us up [ __ ] juan diego dude hit the music juan that house is owned by a drug trafficker the name is alias watch must have been a weekend at bernie situation as cuatro was killed in 2018 but the shores were filled with the luxurious homes of the country's rich and famous this estate belonged to james rodriguez who used to be number 10 on real madrid before being traded to everton pablo escobar himself even once had a gigantic mansion here which he named manuela after his daughter i think he only visited it three times just kind of on the run for his life it's not in the best shape now but not because the government had it torn down a drug war with another cartel and the other cartel bombed it the uh yeah so cali cartel bombed the [ __ ] house that house is where they used to do paintball tours and you could play paintball inside his house and pretend to be pablo escobar and someone pretends to be the dea agent it's kind of like cops and robbers but it's narcos and narcs golden hour was fast approaching so we posted up in an area of the lake with prime dude it's honestly a shame that for so many years in colombia you had the narcos and the police killing each other and then you had uh la farque which were the communist guerrillas and the government killing each other so no one really got to discover how beautiful this place is but it is it is incredible i mean i'm the biggest ocean guy there is and colombia has turned me into a lake guys so if i can give you guys any advice it's come to colombia police you have to put your life jacket on what life jacket don't worry i'm on the police the cops what police don't know but don't listen to him lake watape is the best lake in the world it's like lake winnipesaukee in new hampshire on steroids [Music] now if i was rear ad i'd be like yo donny turn off the [ __ ] camera drop the [ __ ] camera but you know what i don't give a [ __ ] look at that that wasn't bad at all i may be a whale but i'm a majestic whale and i know how to beach myself [Music] yes the tsunami you guys think you're wicked cool in your semi-circle boat me and juan diego are having a blast on the tsunami if i ever have the balls to get married bachelor party at lake watape everyone is not invited but if you find out like when it is and you just show up i'm not gonna disinvite you [Music] this is [ __ ] colombia this is [ __ ] [Music] colombia thank you juan diego hey if you come here and you need a boat you could do much worse than the tsunami this numero uno blago and now that golden hour was in full swing i was able to fully appreciate just how beautiful this town really was it makes a lot of sense that what top 8's symbol is the goat because this place is the goat of any towns i think i've ever been to i was going to say lakeside town but i don't know could just be any town i don't care if if it's to retire if it's to own a home someday if it's to go on vacation with a chick i met on craigslist in 30 years bottom line is that i am coming back to watape it was time to hop in a tuck tuck and begin our journey back to medellin but hopefully someday i can start leading tours here so you guys can join in on the fun until next week donnie

Channel: The Wonton Don

Views: 185,213

Keywords: barstool abroad, colombia, donnie does, guatape, lake, peidra, penol, rock, wonton don, zocalo, zocalos

Id: ThYoVOBgYd4

Length: 16min 5sec (965 seconds)

Published: Thu Mar 18 2021