GETTING KICKED OUT OF A CLUB IN SERBIA

so tomorrow we're heading into serbia that's the one country on this trip where we need to show a negative covent test so we found a kova testing site in downtown pula i don't know why there's a display case filled with booze maybe it's like you know when you're a kid and you're going for a shot and then you get a lollipop here you're going for a covet test and then you get a shot can i try no first i got to get the test freshly swabbed we were off to serbia [Music] [Music] yeah okay sure glad we each paid a hundred dollars for a covet test because that dude did not give a [ __ ] just let us in the country based off the honor system maybe we just got a nice guy at the border all right well we're in serbia and now how many hours we got hour and 20 minutes no sleep till belgrade belgrade's the capital of serbia and being one of the oldest continuously inhabited cities in the world it's seen some [ __ ] thanks to its strategic location at the confluence of the saba and danube rivers the city's been fought over in 115 wars and raised to the ground 44 times including by the ottoman and austro-hungarian empires who essentially used the city as the rope in a centuries-long game of tug-of-war after world war one six balkan republics were combined to form the super slab nation of yugoslavia and belgrade was made its capital but in the 1990s yugoslavia began to break up and serbia fought a bunch of violent conflicts trying to hold it together which made it some enemies including nato who bombed belgrade in 1999. i'm not here to rehash 90s politics though i was in belgrade because i heard it had the best nightlife in all europe so that night i threw on my adidas track suit to blend in with the locals and hit the town to see if it could live up to the hype i asked people on instagram and twitter i was like what's the move in belgrade slab slang only and one dude reached out and said i had to come to this bar because they have one liter long island iced teas personally i don't think one liter long island iced teas are like a draw but i will sample it would you guys like some yeah yeah smart move when a man offers you a sip out of your one liter long island iced tea you always say no super-sized long island iced teas weren't doing it for me so i headed to the bar next door to try something called the cocaine shop where you take a shot of jaeger then snort a small puddle of vodka off the top of another shot glass i remember his kids who used to snort the pixie sticks it didn't sting like that that just woke me up from sheer pain but what really makes the belgrade nightlife so unique because it sure as [ __ ] wasn't the novelty drinks was it the fact that there's no smoking laws so every bar technically doubles as a hoon lounge that sure was a pleasant surprise but no what separates belgrade from other cities are splobs or floating clubs all along the sava river there are giant nightclubs on barges that rage until sunup so obviously i needed to investigate how's it going can we go in [Music] yes all right so no track suit but nobody's gonna let you in like that unfortunately though my slob suit wasn't considered splat club appropriate and nobody would let me in can i get in no let's go what was that that's good you are what are you i am a just out here trying to have some fun but i don't know i don't know the dress code not anymore it was so it turns out that the tracksuit is just a stereotype and it's probably the people in belgrade are probably like yes serbian white trash rock these things that night i had to settle for the loser squab that lets in any bum off the street regardless of what they're wearing i wasn't satisfied with being packed in like a sardine of all the other plebeians i was a foreign correspondent for christ's sake holy [ __ ] i almost just ate it there and for journalistic purposes i needed to see what a first tier splat experience was like so the next night i switched up the wardrobe and returned to the river for round two we're going in but would a forty dollar blazer jeans and hair gel be enough to get me past security or would they still be able to smell the tracksuit on me from yesterday i sure hope not because this time failure wasn't an option boom baby i was in your boy cleans up nice now i've never been able to afford table service back in the u.s so when i heard that in belgrade it only costs 150 euros i knew i had no choice but to go crush mode [Music] it's safe to say i was on one i tried sharing but no one seemed interested in my generosity in fact no one was interested in having anything to do with me in general whatever enjoy hanging out with a cardboard cutout of lebron james head i just have more tequila for myself now i've never needed company to have fun all i need is a pack of hoons and some tasty tunes and both those boxes were checked and as luck would have it i ended up running into some stoolies from chicago who also happened to be passing through serbia finally i had some friends and we could really get this party started [Music] but just as i was starting to crank the knight up to another level [Music] [Applause] [Music] i fell off a couch and was dragged out of the club by a bouncer guess some people just can't handle bottle service [Music] i mean i haven't really come to terms with what happened apparently i was uh asked to leave and i was dancing on top of a chair i fell on my friend's hookah did i break the hookah no did i get right back up yes and they were like nope nope one strike you're out and they've removed me out of the club i did not fight back because if i know one thing about traveling is that when you're in a foreign country you don't fight back you just go with the flow and you say i'm sorry so yeah i'm saying i said i was sorry at the time am i sorry no i [ __ ] slipped all right it was [ __ ] very slippery up there and i fell on a [ __ ] hookah it's not like i [ __ ] fell on a pregnant lady they put my hands behind my back i thought i was going to prison for two years but no they just they just took me out of the club i don't want this to come across that i'm like upset at the club i had a blast if you come to [ __ ] belgrade go to what was the place called again freestyler yes go to freestyler i've probably been talking for too long but it was an incredible club it's just eventually sometimes when people break out the hookah i might pull over and they they need to come to terms with that i was unceremoniously removed from the club wasn't down with that other than that it was a eight out of five my experience with sploth so far had been a rocky one to say the least but the next morning i had a genius idea if i wasn't welcome at the splat clubs i'll just rent a sub of my own i'm the wonton don welcome to my spot [Music] splaw doesn't just refer to floating nightclubs it can also be a floating home and in belgrade the riverbanks are also jam-packed with people's vacation spluffs that they retreat to in the summer to kick back and cool off and lucky for me many are available to rent on airbnb for around the same price as a hotel room in the u.s now apparently this is the lowest the water has been in forever that's actually what the host said he said he's never seen it this low and i was like oh yeah it's just low tide and then i realized rivers don't have tides so it's just low because it hasn't been raining [Music] this is the little lounge when you need some shade but this is really one of the highlights of my floating club this front porch oh the sun's hitting me perfectly right now you can just jump right in it's about three meters right off the dock you swim out deeper i don't know probably 10 to 15 meters deep there are splobs along this river as far as the eye can see in the u.s we have a bunch of lake houses but do we have river houses no one's got a little [ __ ] shack like this on the mississippi i think because the current's too strong but this is the riva river or the shiva river i don't know but i just know it doesn't really have that strong of a current over here we got an outdoor shower yep it works you guys want to see inside [Music] the downstairs couch see what we got in the fridge the original budweiser set out the czech republic golden beer the pilsner it was invented there they invented the bud they look delicious right now i'm just drinking a lot i feel like that's very fitting for when i'm using a lav mic and i'm on a spot so we got a splob a love and a lob that's cool some cured meats in europe you can never go wrong with cured meats trying to go keto so sometimes in the morning i'll just house like three packets of these and call it a day actually i think beer has gluten or carbs so i yeah i'm not going keto i just eat a lot of cured meats here is the bathroom um i do need to take quite a big dump if i clog this blob of toilet that could be a problem because then it just probably starts to like outflow and then i'll just be swimming in my own [ __ ] so i might have to just do like a three round [ __ ] all right let's check out the second floor [Music] so this is a bedroom probably where the camera man will sleep tonight i have my own private bedroom it's got a little a plant i don't think that actually this is a plant this is just a um sticks it's it's a bunch of sticks but i like them they add like a rustic charm and now you guys are gonna love this the second floor porch oh look who it is meet uh tommy tommy is our logistics guy slash driver slash pa he's the one who planned this whole trip because he had been to croatia before is this your bedroom i kind of thought this would be my private balcony beat from driving man i'm tired you need a little more pep in your step because we still have a full day ahead of us we're going to a handball game at 6. take a couple roman focus because i need you focus when you're focused this whole production runs like a well-oiled machine when you're not we start going off the track so just pop two of those you're gonna feel amazing in like 20-30 minutes telling you these roman focus pills have been clutched this whole trip uh and there is caffeine in them but sometimes if i just like pound a really strong coffee i get like the jitters this doesn't only have caffeine it has a bunch of other things that keep you calm as well as energized so i have never gotten the jitters yet roman focus use promo code doni to get 15 off your first order once again getroman.com donnie for 15 off your first order all right i'm gonna um transition into sploth mode right now and go for a dip [Music] splat mode activated [Music] oh my god dude there was zero splash you know what i think a really realistic goal for me is to retire at age 50 and just put all my life savings into a splob in belgrade you got to keep your head on a swivel though because we have some very angry swans around they're looking for bread crumbs we don't have [ __ ] i said they can come hang out but they're being dicks they just show up in hiss i don't have any bread crumbs oh my god dude and i don't think giving him bread crumbs is gonna help then like even more are gonna come but they're not around now so we are good see you later we're gonna go swim some laughs across the vulva wait is it the vulva river it's the uh no there some laps across the shiva what sava all right yeah i've said it wrong this entire time we've been filming it's the sava river tune in next week where i leave the safe confines of my splat to watch my first handball game and learn why the belgrade derby is the most violent rivalry in soccer check it out the swans were plotting a night attack these crafty [ __ ] okay we're gonna wait till we fall asleep we're gonna march in nibble on my dick if you want to hang out just let me know i'm just i'm not down with these knight attacks [Music] uh [Music]

Channel: The Wonton Don

Views: 209,557

Keywords: China, Donnie Does, Wonton Don, Shanghai, Weird, Whoa That's Weird, Asia, travel vlog, barstool sports, balkans, barstool abroad, croatia, serbia, montenegro, kosovo, belgrade derby, red star, partizan, truffle hunting, balkan, splav, nightlife, belgrade, yugoslavia, serb, bosnia, floating club

Id: nSRxEIUxyTA

Length: 15min 21sec (921 seconds)

Published: Wed Nov 10 2021

Reddit Comments

[u/krumdiggity]

Discovering America series was good but I think Donnies at his best when he’s flying solo exploring foreign countries

[u/TheHumanFlash]

I’ve been to Belgrade twice through school. It’s an experience. We went to a club on the Waterfront called “Bank”. We bought a bottle to get in for $50. When we get inside, there are no tables free so the hostess brings us to the bar. The bartender proceeds to give us one of the fuller bottles from the bar rail with no mixers or anything. Spent the night drinking straight vodka and picking up fake $100 bills that the DJ would throw into the crowd. Fun times.

[u/LightsCameraComenter]

Donnie doesn’t miss and the women of Belgrade were the real highlight of the night

[u/Sk6217]

So wild how Donnie always finds someone, no matter the country that knows him.

[u/LaxStar40]

Serbian baseball must be extra boring, one strike you’re out?

[u/stevienick8]

You know Donny is good at his job when he makes me immediately want to visit countries I’d never considered before.