fave king of the rats charlie kelly moments (seasons 6 - 10) part 2

well hey Dee how's it going Teachers Lounge pretty sweet how'd you swing that I'm a teacher now Charlie I'm subbing for Dr Myers while he gets his hip fixed look at us for their new careers huh how about that well yours is kind of the same you know because you've always sort of been a janitor but I'm thriving here I'll tell you what yeah did you get that orange out of the garbage it sure did can you believe that someone threw this away perfectly good orange you know they were digging at it a little bit and must have given up but don't eat trash Charlie I'll eat what I want to eat okay preferable excuse me for a minute I'm sorry wait wait what's up what are you doing I was gonna bash you right and take care of your rat problems please this is this is our lab rat his name's Armitage Shanks if he solves the maze he gets the cheese and since we've been feeding Armature cerebral enhancement formula he's been solving these mazes seven times faster we'd like to try before we were out on a human subject what would you think about something like that like that pill that could make you a seven times smarter [Music] Iza what's your name young man it's Charlie hold up dude I want to get this cheese here it's [ __ ] why didn't you try the cheese under the green light Charlie I want this cheese ladies and gentlemen we have found our test subject thank you all very much for coming [Music] good I feel like I've got my four-year-old going to my sister's wedding you're the limo driver you go with the part bud you don't look like a millionaire I'm a casual millionaire from Texas like a farmer I got the whole thing worked out now listen to me we go out on a date I come down with a slight cough okay I have to be taken home you take over you charm the hell out of them you're so nervous you know how long it's been since I've been with a non-pro are you relax oh hello [Music] this is my limit driver Frank now he's the finest driver in all the land so you're gonna get on just fine with him a handout only say hello once stopping Gideon up compact he's laying around It's gotta mean bye now he's ready to fight and stand up for what he does [Music] [Music] focuses why don't we check the guest record right because maybe that guy came to visit my dad all the other guys signed in yeah that's a good point Luther McDonald visited by Bonnie Kelly holy [ __ ] plus the same name as my mom it is your mom I'm sure there's plenty of Bonnie Kelly's you know they probably all sign their name those weird squiggly lines and cursive are you talking about cursive dude uh uh cursing cursive everybody could okay look it doesn't matter there was another member of the gang oh yeah dude I miss him dude why do we ditch him in the first place [ __ ] remember you know kind of got on her nerves he didn't get on my nerves no he never got on my nerves I actually really love that guy you know what I remember now Charlie soured on him and then he like gave us an ultimatum you remember then we all turned on the guy pretty quickly I mean we all agreed he was out of the you pushed him out of a moving car and yelled you're out of the gang now in hindsight that does seem a little round yeah it's a bit of a snap decision why don't you call this Schmitty guy up and see what he's up to now you know this photo of Bruce Jenner is your resume well when I showed up this morning I didn't have a formal resume on me so I was sort of hoping the photograph of Mr Jenner could could represent the standard of Excellence I'm hoping to bring to this position I see and and you're looking for a job as a substitute teacher substitute janitor look I'll clean this building so good you're not gonna know what to do with yourself and I'm not a proud man you know I'll do the jobs that the other guys don't want to do I'll degrade myself I'll make a genuine ass out of myself yeah hey look I'll swallow that eraser hole just to prove to you I know I'm not please please I'll swallow it all no no no no you don't have to do that but I'm just ridiculous hey hey don't say that no Neil I don't have to kneel I don't know I don't see the point because God wants it look just do what the priest says don't ask why just do look our moms are here they see the value in it why can't you where's your mom going oh she keeps a cigarette burning out on the steps outside so she's gonna go hack a butt so she comes and goes and she pleases there's no sort of rules for her she's put her time in here all right the Lord makes an exception for her Jesus Christ man wait don't stop using his name in vain I'll stand stand yes and give me some money for the basket I'm not giving you money thank you thank you look amazing the church you give us money you know they seem to have plenty of it dude the church doesn't give money it takes it all right that's the way it works and then you go to heaven now Neil Neil we're going to kneelia actually it's over we're standing again this is escape my friends at long last the day has come we have the means the understanding the technology to allow spiders to talk with cats now go ahead this floor is slippery man oh school's slippery because I wax it real good with this awesome power waxer that the school provided me I did this whole place in like two hours oh nice oh that's impressive yeah do you inspired me she said you're an awesome janitor Charlie you can make this whole school slippery I said sure I'll give it my best shot then she's like let's be best friends and I was like sure I'll give that my best shot too so we're best friends now yo Mac yeah hey dude I think this right here has got keeper pile written all over it we could probably set some of this up strategically to kind of represent where all the cool [ __ ] in the pool is going to be like you know this rusty bike frame we could be like that's where the swim up bar is swim up bar yeah that's good dude man I got a whole plan like we'll dip one of those cans with a string on it into the water and when we're underwater we'll place our order you know two beers please and when we swim up to the top Dennis hands him to us oh I'm so sorry we've been putting on air I know I come across like super fancy I'm not we're not the blue blood the fancy types that you think that we get more guns onto the streets yeah we gotta get guns in the right hands I mean we're just not safe that's what you guys are hot about yeah didn't you hear what Frank said what are you hot about [Music] I spit you people get out of here [Music] [Music] did you hear my song I heard it I love a great song Charlie yeah man you know what that don't do that makeup smearing no power steering he beat talking but we don't be hearing I command no he's got a ton of good qualities dude the other day we were hanging out under the bridge we found a box of denim and I'm like you know these look like good jeans in here and he's like you want to split it with me 50 50. I mean that that's a nice thing to do I wanted you to have here for that day you shared half the jeans yeah totally all right uh where's Dean Castle what son you were asked a question by an adult okay you've been asked a question all right we're trying and safe in your school here okay and you're acting like a punk let me see the phone I want to see oh he's killing zombies I'm taking this what the hell man hey kid you're getting off easy now get to school go to school just know we're watching you go to class look in series of side effects that he believed himself to be having a debilitating uh aches and pains it was all in his mind yeah I guess I do feel kind of bad better so I believe I was having the PCB effect I'm not going to wear gloves while I work I'm sorry it makes no sense it absolutely makes sense you're a janitor who snakes toilets with his bare hands so my hands get a little dirty from time to time I appreciate the concern but I'm fine it's not for you it's for us use gloves that song that wrote the best song It's amazing get with the program right Charlie please we're all clamoring to hear what would they say the words your oyster man but oysters ain't for me you're the bell of the ball but you ain't my cup of tea they always vote you best and show but this dog you disagrees okay there's a place for me it's the place I go where the beer is cheap and the lights are low what's bad [Music] but [Music] yeah I tried to take Charlie but he refused to go what is your spaghetti policy here I'm not getting it so you crawl around on the bed looking for minerals no if I'm looking for minerals I gotta be under the bed minerals on top of the bed doesn't make any sense actually none of this makes any sense it's insane here I don't know about you oh my God I think they're all in gangs or something there's a lot of score settling going on oh yeah dude we created a Hunger Games type scenario in there imagine if they had gone all of a disaster an absolute disaster these kids are all too violent it's like ingrained in them or something oh my god dude we've been singing the wrong tune Society is getting more Savage we need to get the weapons out of their hands we should call the cops the only people who have guns they gotta come in here they gotta calm this level with the conversation excuse me excuse me I believe I'm coming down a bit somewhere I got bit by a crab under that same Bridge oh did you yes you ever been dipped by a cramp hunt can we maybe put this divider up well no we don't want to exclude a great man like Frank from the concert I haven't touched a consumption he's all right why don't we drop him off you and I'll go to dinner okay [Applause] oh my God can I offer you a nice egg in this trying time yeah he's got an egg you might yeah all right Frank where are we at my man oh right there you don't have to sleep together it's a comfort thing right go right down the middle you know Middle America yeah I didn't catch any rape references nothing about spiders nothing about Google talking about rape and spiders you guys misintered it but Charlie that was great it's really great if you really knocked it out of the park let's go down to the basement and get some lemons for the party oh yeah sure okay [Music] yeah [Music] [Applause] hey where'd you get those glasses but are these all right just like third dimension glasses you know don't really work though because I feel like I'm still seeing stuff in whatever Dimension we live in uh right well listen the shares get passed down to the firstborn kin yeah we are the firstborn kin of Frank well no hang on that's not like an official document uh well you signed it in your blood oh that yeah there it is trundle Written in Blood oh yeah I was going by trundle at the time no no no you were trying to write Charlie and you wrote trundle no I was going by trundle the great you came up with that after you miswrote it well look the point is you can't just take the bar based on a paper plate [Music] your uncle never hears from you anymore all right well you're kind of the only actual lawyer I know you know doesn't have a restraining order against me so I sort of had to call you so yeah I missed you too much with the touching with the touching none of that you put off by my hands I know they're very small it's been very hard on me there's nothing wrong with your hands okay can we just focus on the law of course Charlie not in the corner put them in the closet tuck them in the back there you go hey come on look at this and I've been saving these for years what if we got such a disk man stand straight or something ah Frank I gotta go see your chiropractor again all right I just keep paying medical bills right is that it I keep talking pennies you're in pain hey let me hit you with the two by four you won't feel anything no I don't want to play that game anymore all right crack my back all right we can you crack my back please he does make a good point you know vaccines really do work my mom used to vaccinate me like every month and I never got sick the reason you didn't get sick was because you and your mom would wear those ridiculous bubble boy suits during the flu season Jolly stop looking over there can we just go over and say a quick hello all right then it's done with there's no more awkwardness Charlie be you know then forget it yeah this is our night Charlie all right listen in my arms uh of throat cancer from from eating some some bad [ __ ] um you just turned your spot at the head of the suit dude that was really good oh that was good Frank you know Voodoo or whatever go ahead well let's not call it Voodoo okay this is this is this is the Lord Our Savior okay here we go Lamb of God who takes away what is that there's a lamb Charlie let me see my face let me do my thing all right Lamb of God who taketh away the souls of the world don't undermine my prayer with Voodoo okay don't do it I won't do it Lamb of God Spirit take this Spirit out of this book you know if you're not gonna take this seriously I'm taking you perfectly seriously what the hell don't do airplane noises just give him the beer good move why don't we get beer Charlie hey oh my God what are you doing down here did you follow me all the way to the Jersey Shore no no I swear I'm just down here but that's cool can you believe we're that's like Destiny what what's in your hand stupid I found no big deal can I see it yeah wow that's really beautiful I'll tell you what I mean I think that's a pretty rare one but you can keep it if you want Charlie sure so you're gonna insult me and walk away or what's going on here no I am I don't I don't know you know I love the beach so much and it's so beautiful I could probably just hang out here for a little while cool just don't go under the Boardwalk okay you know what it is I think it's a bride a bride could be a good answer what you can't become a groom or get groomed without a bride right right that's not the kind of grooming they're talking about I don't know Charlie could be right yeah I got a dragon he's not right because nobody else is that stupid suck it look how clean I am dude you look like a shriveled raisin it's all about purity Charlie humans are filthy dirty filthy all right man say I don't think I've ever encountered someone who's so passionate about joining our custodial staff the passion I have for the work that I do is extraordinary it probably goes beyond Jenner and I'm serious I'll eat that eraser hole oh no it's not it's not just you don't need the Eraser to prove your point uh you have the job are you serious I love your attitude it's fantastic I'm not gonna let you down I'm gonna start cleaning immediately immediately uh but first can I eat the Eraser are you you're saying you want to eat the eraser Well I'm asking if it's edible because it certainly smells of grapes I don't I don't think it's edible can I just test it I'd rather you didn't I kind of want to I might need it all right well you win this one I'll pick up one of my own I'll eat that one and that way everybody wins all right well welcome aboard all right all right thanks so much ah [ __ ] Charlie what the hell went on back there ah I swallowed like a million blood capsules because I was gonna cough like you know a handful of blood to make it real and now I'm thinking like you're not supposed to eat them or something because they're making me really sick ah Charlie you blew it you're the one talking about eggs and crabs and [ __ ] I love eggs Charlie and I love crabs oh crabs and I love boiling Denim and banging with [ __ ] and I don't care if anybody doesn't like that about me they don't have to stick around you're right what's wrong [Music] Miss Roxy Roxy and I are made for each other yeah tell you what if it's Roxy you wanna [Music] that's the last of that I think I'm going to demonstrate oh you got a thing here come over here and hold on to these now this machine is going to measure the level of toxins in your body caused by stress all right where do I put my feet wherever you want I want to put them on the stool great it doesn't matter okay there we go nobody all right okay so Charlie this is my favorite part we weren't quite sure what a worm hat was right so we made a few of them this is the first one it's a hat made of worms okay and then option number two is a hat that you put on and when you do that you look maybe like maybe you're a worm right right and then the third one and this is the best one Charlie is is a hat for your worm oh your teeny tiny little words yeah it's a teeny title if you want them to be fancy so which one is it which one were you talking about well I don't recall ever riding worm hat yeah yeah it was in your dream book you're uh-huh I'm hot yeah that's a German guy his name's Hans vermit he appears in my dreams he drives a biplane and he shoots it at me and I run through a field what am I gonna do about it when I get out of here I'm gonna clean Philadelphia giant Glenn good luck with that not this city the population go for it [Music] stop stop [ __ ] hot and cold sorry are you sick too sick nah Frank's not trying to shave me and [ __ ] I'm like dude no way so figure hell are you guys instead you know we're very sick we have the flu if you if you stay in here you're gonna get sick good he deserves it for ratting me out please Mac I've been vaccinated for every disease in the book I'm gonna be just fine dude are you kidding me is this what you've been upset about the whole time which one of us is going to be the woman yeah I'm not gonna get my dick cut off and sold to China spend the rest of my life on a treadmill like this guy what do you what what I don't want to be the woman Charlie and I don't want to see you be the woman neither of us would be the woman dude we would both be man we'd be too cool straight dudes married together oh well I never thought of it that way I'm not drinking cleaning supplies no dude this is booze I stash whiskey in here dude you are an alcoholic whatever these stashes warm beer in the ceilings back office I keep a flask of crime to month behind the Jukebox in the bar it's not a big deal just drink you know because this might be our last chance we'll leave this dude he is not changing years man look you guys need to make a decision right now okay it is either him or it is me him yeah I was gonna say him too yeah him him yeah you know what's always been him I don't know why I didn't see that before I'm out of the game yeah okay all of the um if you don't want to break the door I have a key you've got a key I didn't know that we were trapped in here I thought we were just playing quarantine let's go just well I'm trying to learn Mandarin listen to Beethoven at the same time you see I just realized that I have two ears so it's a waste to only listen to one thing let me get the straight you just realize that you have two ears taking a pill is not gonna make you smarter Charlie I don't know about that Frank I've listened to five books on tape already this morning five I'm Charlie come on any idiot can listen to books on tape you're only doing that because you can't read all right trust me if you're feeling any smarter it's just a classic case of the placebo effect I considered that but I don't think that's it Dennis whatever you don't even know what the word means from the Latin Placebo meaning I shall please I listened to a chapter on that this morning this is such [ __ ] I wasn't going to say that dude just because you're finishing our sentences it doesn't make you intelligent oh no for you okay then you can you could try it see what you think I do not want to taste your cream pie they taste great I can guarantee it oh you've tasted yours of course I have haven't you no I've tasted mine I didn't like it I've tasted ammonia I liked mine whatever dude if you don't care about the taste fine all right but they're not just gonna be for us anyway what gonna want to buy it everyone's going to want to buy one loves them okay [Applause] especially dudes I love watching a kid do it and dude you are gonna get in a lot of trouble hell no dude it's not like I'm gonna do without the parents permission I'll do everything the parent is Gonna Let You Go we gotta go overseas for that that's nice that's as American as it gets guys you gotta think about this as a business venture all right the three of us combine your ingredients making like one gigantic delicious cream pie some little kids sucking it down and it's paying us for the pleasure hang on a second what kind of cream pie are you talking about what kind of cream pie are you talking about can you guys actually drop me off back in the bar I'm gonna go work on the best song what best song the best song award there's the best song award what are you talking about well that's all the more reason to do a best song right we'll be the only bar who did it and that's a good chance we'll cover all the bases [Music] uh I don't think so was I smart sir no again um if you could let us finish the lecture and you stupid science [ __ ] couldn't even make my friends more smarter hey you're right stupid science [ __ ] couldn't even think I'm more smarter oh let's get out of here [Music] is he dead oh [ __ ] he looks bad he's sneaking up on me for gentlemen I understand that you would like to you how did you find me yeah I know this dude who's this this guy was the principal at the high school where I was doing the janitor thing yeah all right so why are you out of middle school now well I was I was transferred so I have tenures so they couldn't actually fire me which was of course their first choice thanks to you well let's not throw barbs at each other look we're actually here for good cause we want to protect the school oh yeah we want to be the armed security guard yeah I brought a piece hey hey hey no no calm yourself no you've got to put no it's not currently loaded by the way you buddy I would not want to be around this guy with a gun either he has got a hair trigger I mean one little move and he'll just start blasting oh all right you don't even know what right okay well Charlie work is like you know like basement stuff cleaning urinals uh blood stuff your basic slimes your sludges anything dead or Decay you know I'm on it I'm dealing with it and you dislike it well no I mean at its core I love it you know I love the dark I love slippery things I love being naked uh in the sewer bleach smells good it tastes good you know but it's just like people drinking hang on my phone's ringing you've had a cell phone this entire time dude are you kidding me [ __ ] Charlie 157 is that bad yeah it's not good guys I got 157. wait wait wait wait wait wait wait 157 what units units dude units of what units of stress they're very very high and there's a lot of units in your stress unit but don't even work Reggie leech Reggie leech is correct dance [Applause] all right Placebo placebo which is of course a funny sounding word oh [ __ ] just kidding oh yeah BBW MMR beach house for our start of summer blow out we would want to spend a weekend at a beach house with these idiots dude nothing but busy signals I'm on hold on all of them we're gonna get you're gonna hold on hey we're going to the beach house gonna make our dreams come true damn that the B chassis well we're gonna do [Applause] wait hold up second you guys aren't even actually Frank's kid you're Bruce mathis's kid all right and I technically might be Frank's kid Charlie I pledge my allegiance to you one oh there's my guy hey I got a piping hot Grill Frank for you okay got the sausage the spam the bacon I got it wrapped in a jelly pancake and cooked with a stick of butter I don't want that Charlie I'm trying to get in shape I read all about this phenomenon that guy's bodies immediately turn to [ __ ] the second they retire I gotta work on him all right well you know just just take a big see if you like it uh Hey listen man can I ask you something why are you like um my dad what are like are you the father of me and [ __ ] we couldn't even over this yeah your mother's a giant [ __ ] right I don't want to stress about this Charlie I'm retired leave me alone I want to watch a little TV yeah Charlie hey anything nothing not a single butt smell to that how is that possible I don't know dude this guy's butter this brand of chair it's gonna be the brand right all right we got to get one of these for our Throne yeah yeah hey hey hey what do you say Doc so what is the verdict is Frank Charlie's dad or not I don't know I don't know who that is what I do know is I came to work this morning to find a very large bucket of blood in my lab yeah well that's the sample obviously and uh you know if it's too big it's because Frank sprung a little bit of a leak there it was a mess completely crazy it was blood everywhere but we caught enough of it yeah we must have caught a deep vein or something wait a second most of this came from one man did we take too much I didn't think that we took too much yes you took too much also there's traces of more than four individuals in here and at least one animal was there blood in the bucket before it is a blood bucket so yeah there was old blood no I didn't come here to get Sask okay I came here to get an answer to my question so is Frank Charlie's dad or not the only thing that I can tell you is that based off of how much blood is in this bucket your friend is in desperate need of blood oh hey guys what do you want Charlie well busy I want to apologize about um snapping earlier today with words that you guys and then I came here to make an apology apology words I don't know I don't remember okay thank you well hang on hang on a second I got you guys a flower arrangement for you Charlie save it save it Mac already told us that that's not a real paternity test the hell dude you swore a blood off to me dude you never touched my blood okay [Music] give me that get ready [Music] all right all right this is gonna sound crazy I just got an idea if we do that to miss the partnership thing that gay guys can do I should totally get on your health insurance you wouldn't have to pay for the chiropractor you proposing to me come on man no I'm saying we're already friends right ah let's be friends with benefits right oh yeah you'll get your back fixed what's an information all right man there's got to be a reason why all those couples want to do it right uh perks right can we at least look into what those into it I really gotta say all right look into it I'll be here you gotta hit me with the two by four I got too much pain oh [ __ ] is he okay no he's okay you know the duct tape will stop it okay let's just get wait oh she's leaking oh no oh [ __ ] I'm sorry I was trying to help can't imagine it was going to be a very good sample anyway there are quite a few pickles floating around in that bag [ __ ] wait a second which one of you and Dennis was first born we're twins no I know I know but like who did Barbara actually like pop out first oh [ __ ] oh Charlie worst is first what is that worst is first my mom used to say that to me all the time because I was first and she thought she thought it was the worst holy [ __ ] that's terrible that's good for us yeah okay so that means you're the rightful air to the butt cheer so all right we can work with that all right let's get out of here come on we can't tell anybody about this all right oh the night man all right guys these are terrible answers all right now let's come in and give it to you and put it down all right fine come in put them down and then go okay and I'm in he's in okay uh put the vase close to them so we can see them right it's a very small apartment we're all over the place just put them anywhere and I'll put them on right here that no no good move them can't put him here though where can I put him dude Annie put him in the trash for all we care I put in a little further back so and right about here uh great we don't know to the left until the left you say didn't say that don't talk out loud to me Roger that who's Roger who's Roger just thinking about legally changing my name to Roger what's wrong with your ear dude spider crawled up in my ear is living there it's all right sends its thoughts to me is it telling you to leave spider can I leave okay who gives a [ __ ] we always get a passing grade yeah we get a passing grade because I bust my ass to make sure that happens okay and we don't pretend that we're crazy no signs no we're using yeah and when it pokes their butts they scream because they just got a nail right in the butt you don't understand comedy you don't understand comedy that's not a joke it's a lawsuit just put it in the basement okay all right get on the guy it is the blood that binds and his blood is pumping through my veins and I shall prove it and I'm saying Charlie you should get over it move on you signed the prenup Case Closed you told me it was the phone bill man of course I signed it why would you think that you needed to sign a phone bill keep track of our financial comings and goings when he hands me something to sign and it's about money and papers I sign it a movie movie okay movie two three four five words doesn't matter Ocean's Eleven Ocean's Twelve Ocean's Thirteen Frank I can't concentrate when you look like this you look ridiculous man it was What's Eating Gilbert great well that's World bacterialized Charlie in your hair that's why I shaved it off now it's just flows off my body sorry about that can I help you yeah two checking in for the pool get ready for a rock in the eye bro yeah oh no oh that one really hurt that really hurts those are on rocks right hello hey as far as shared assets I'm not seeing much I'm keeping the hot plate Over My Dead Body hey hey easy boys don't let the dog off the leash okay remember the bigger man walks away first we can have the hot plate hot dog now we're cooking with gas moving along to Art Holdings all I'm seeing is a series of drawings of elephants um oh yeah oh Charlie did the elephant drawings yeah but I should keep them I did those for you man I like them well you should like them I put a lot of work into them and thank you for saying you like them well just accept the fact that you're white trash all right take a look at yourself you can't do backflips you don't know karate you're white trash your white trash too dude look at those shorts are white trash you knock all the shorts white trash that is cool about these shorts so they're not white trash look at this look at this look what I can do what is white trash about that okay quick question Charlie you remember me right hey the man already we'll be done with it it's freezing in there no can do Charlie it's the principle of a thing you guys having a princess like a one two three count you tell us who goes please don't do this in here the only way to tell okay and then we can protect your school but we got to go one step at a time all right whoa whoa whoa sorry sorry [Music] ah I guess I do have hair trigger yeah all right sadly we got to stay here okay Charlie yeah just need you to name an animal yeah that we eat but doesn't eat us doesn't eat us that's easy dragon Charlie do you eat dragon no no I need Dragon because uh it's it's not a meal for peasants it's a meal for kings and I'm sort of a common man but they don't eat us they it's a misconception they actually eat gold and treasure that's why they're always sitting on a big pile of bad answers bad answer multiple fight no we're not having a principal fight we're having a heat fight okay because our Heat's broken and Wang won't fix it until this guy pays the rent this guy's not gonna pay the rent Towing fixes the heat so you got one of those snap Foods we got old [ __ ] it's a deadlock of butting heads okay guys I got some documentation here proving that I'm the rifle heir to Frank's butt chair all right dude first things first let's get some beer man you know Screw Dennis in his rules the guy's like you know such a dick about [ __ ] you're a dude he can be so controlling you know he can't do really cool stuff with his dick though you gotta ease up I'm talking about dicks man like it's just it's too much by this point okay wait a second just now there's no opening to this [ __ ] I'm sorry dude I forgot there's no opening in yours but my mom returns with a special pouch so that she could have her cocktails see anything that fills up your mom reads her suit so she can drink booze dude your mom's an alcoholic come on down an alcoholic no both she is but it's totally cool because it skips a generation that's why you're not an alcoholic it's working for us you will do nothing of the sort we're going dancing come on what if I give you three bucks you're our employee you do what we say I pay your rent Do not drop those wires hey Charlie to live is to dance let's go Charlie what if I give you five bucks you owe me five bucks ah [ __ ] screw it son of a [ __ ] [ __ ] all right tell you what I'm gonna go with d okay but I'm getting sick of this [ __ ] I really am you know treat me like a dum-dum and a grunt and I have potential you know I can go places I can do things who knows I might even rule the world one day I'm strong dude I'm definitely getting stronger wow dude this pool is sweet man it's super deep yeah I know I know yeah hey dude um have you been getting in and out of here I was climbing up the mattress sort of like a ladder type situation oh [ __ ] oh what the [ __ ] is this where's my luau oh we went around you Frank uh happy birthday Charlie happy birthday happy birthday oh is that why you guys you guys are doing all that weird [ __ ] with me today yeah we were trying to distract you so we could plan your party thanks guys yeah not my birthday though was that your birthday nope no dicks it's my birthday what are you kidding me no I'm not kidding you wait wait a second were you trying to get us to plan your surprise party why wouldn't you just plant it yourself well that's lame I mean this way I get my surprise party and I give you the satisfaction of doing something nice for somebody oh my God that is not doing something nice that is tricking a son of a [ __ ] where's Duncan where's that you should not be hanging out with Duncan you should not be associating with people like that I'm saying it I don't care it's coming out of my mouth no trolley documents all right this is what it was all for look at this we're married oh you guys are cute you're still gonna have to pay full price I shouldn't screw this I'm gonna go make it rain all right well hang on a second give me some money yeah let's go I'm your husband give me some money there it is what is this I'm tightening the purse strings on this relationship until there's a little bit of give and take you know what keep your mind I don't need your little allowance that's a bad snap decision you know like there's a reason he didn't work out I got a good thing going on now without him we don't need a new member of the gang don't get Schmitty [Music] [Applause] [Music] okay here we go Charlie you gotta go at least three for ten all right you ready I got all numbers okay I'm gonna put a little mustard on this one all right give him a hot dog baby all right [Music] [Applause] [Music] all right foreign

Channel: windows

Views: 291,754

Keywords: iasip, always sunny, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, charlie kelly, mac, ronald macdonals, lmfao, deandra reynolds, dennis reynolds, frank reynolds, theres a lot of characters not feeling up to tagging

Id: xmZ4lIwXmT4

Length: 42min 14sec (2534 seconds)

Published: Mon May 08 2023