FAMILY LIFE 2021 | ABUSE | SEPTEMBER 4TH 2021 | 10AM | PASTOR WAYNE SAMPSON

[Music] so [Music] [Music] so [Music] so [Music] my [Music] so [Music] so [Music] so [Music] so [Music] happy sabbat everyone and welcome to fiverr's sda church livestream service i don't know about you but i have been surely blessed truly blessed by the weekly studies dramas and sermons thus far in this family life series today we continue with part four of seven of our family life cyber series entitled a fresh start and a new beginning with god last albert and sister moses gave us some insight into the importance of proper family planning and today we have with us pastor wayne sampson the family life director of the south caribbean conference delving into the topic of abuse the discussion today as you can imagine is a very sensitive one so parents please parental guidance will be required during the streaming of today's drama film let's all be comforted by psalm chapter 9 verses 9 and 10 which says the lord is a refuge for the oppressed a stronghold in the times of trouble those who know your name trust in you for you lord have never forsaken those who seek you amen we want to encourage you to share the link with your loved ones your friends and your families help us share the love of god the peace he offers the hope he offers for all our families let's bow our heads and pray loving father merciful god gentle god of god who's acquainted with all our infirmities father to you this morning we come before you asking their father from your spirit's presence father this topic of abuse is a sensitive one it's a touchy subject their father but in a special way i ask that you remind us of your promises your promises dear god that you will be by your side you promise to never leave us nor forsake us you shall be all strong to our dear god may you grant us the peace their father that peace that passes all understanding so be with your man servant here this morning pastor samson empower him dear father may his words be your gentle words their god speaking to those hearts their father who need to hear those messages this message their father this message of but being a victim of abuse and those their father who unfortunately have abusive tendencies so speak to all our hearts their god so that we can be sensitive and we can be overcomers and victorious through you so got into your hands we commit everything this morning we commit their father the technology we know that you dear god almighty and last week we saw your mighty hand where you were able to restore electricity to your father so may you take charge today from all the technical aspects may your spirit take charge and guide every aspect of this service and may our hearts be all receptive to receive that blessing you have installed for us it is our prayer in jesus name amen church i just want to say to us all here this morning that we are one family this body of christ we have people reaching out to us all the way from digger martin we have from saparia tobago jamaica the united states united kingdom folks have been reaching out and as the body of christ let us come together let us come together because we know that there is hope for families so i pray that god will bless you as you listen to the messages that god prepared for us for such a time as this over to you praise thee good morning and happy sabbath to all i hope that you have had a wonderful week thus far in spite of all the rains and power outages that we have had throughout trinidad and tobago join me as we sing hypn number 516 all the way [Music] [Music] all the way my savior leads me [Music] [Applause] [Music] is [Music] [Music] foreign [Music] all the way my savior leads me [Music] [Music] of joy i [Music] me [Music] [Music] is [Music] around the day [Music] jesus me all the way [Music] hem number 205 gleams of the golden [Music] morning the golden morning is [Music] oh we see the queens of the colder mornings [Music] [Music] is [Music] [Music] attended by all the shining angels down the flaming sky the judge will come and take his people where they will not die [Applause] [Music] oh [Music] is [Music] [Music] that the lord is my light [Music] the lord is [Music] that was is [Music] [Music] foreign [Music] [Music] the lord is [Music] [Music] is [Music] the lord is [Music] okay we'll now have some songs for the children so parents please get your little ones and let them come and enjoy the song service [Music] [Music] i'm [Music] unto jesus [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] in glory [Music] i'm [Music] is [Music] everybody [Music] [Music] is [Music] [Music] amen amen amen [Music] [Music] oh boy hi boys and girls i'm anti-carol and you're probably wondering what am i doing here oh i'm picking plums [Music] we all love to eat plums either green or ripe and our story time today is about a little girl named kia and the name of the story is kia goes to school how many of you are ready to go to school you have your books you have your book bag your lunch kit your uniform your sneakers and your socks and everything for your hair and you are ready for school now kia was six years almost six years old and she was going to school for the first time her mommy taught her at home so she could read and she could write she knew her name she could spell her name she knew her letters and her colors she knew her numbers and she was going to school for the first time now she told her mommy she said mommy i'm going to cry when i go to school because i will miss you and her mommy said oh kia that's okay everybody cries when they go to school for the first time but you know something we are going to ask jesus to go to school with you so time came when it was the morning for school and the cat came before they had worship and everybody prayed and asked jesus to please go to school with kia and they got in the car go to school mommy introduced her to her teacher took her to her classroom carried in her book bag and she was excited but she was sad [Music] and then it was time for mommy to leave remember jesus is here with you and then mommy said okay i have to go now she hugged her and kissed her and kia started to cry and mommy wanted to cry to mommy was feeling so sad to have to leave her but you know something she got in the car and she cat took off and when she looked back she saw kia running behind the car running behind the car her little feet were going and she was crying and she was saying mommy mommy don't leave me i want to go with you mommy i don't want to stay here and mommy was feeling sad but she knew that she had to let kia go to school and even time she was eagerly awaiting when she came home here said mommy i cried all day because i wanted to come by you mommy so mommy said you know what it's okay it's okay to cry so the next morning at worship they asked god to go to school with kia and don't let her cry as much and after school she went and mommy was waiting patiently when evening time came and kia came home she said mommy i cried but i didn't cry as much as yesterday and they were so happy because they knew that jesus was answering their prayers the next day they prayed again and asked us the same thing go to school with kia and don't let her cry as much as yesterday and that is exactly what happened when she came up she said mommy i only cried a tiny tiny bit and by the next day there was no crying at all and they were all so happy i was getting accustomed to school and you know something boys and girls we know that you are accustomed being home at mummy right we know that it's a new thing going to a new school and meeting new children having new friends new teachers and sometimes that can be frightening but you know something it's okay to cry you can cry and take jesus to school with you and mommies and that is it's okay you can cry too the children have to go to school but remember take jesus to school with you okay mommies and nadis okay boys and girls remember take jesus school with you okay bye see you good morning and happy sabbath thank you very much alisha for leading us through such a wonderful song service and thank you auntie carol for sharing that children's story with us i i could do it two of those plums right now but i'll get it after the summit this morning again we are happy that as a youth class we could come together and share what we would have studied for the entire week and i'm not alone this morning with me is one of my class members kyla tyler philip good morning and happy salvation good morning happy to be here let us pray father in heaven as we go to enter into your lesson discussion we pray for that you would lead and direct we pray father that we have a clear understanding of what you would have told us this week and may are you to be blessed in jesus name amen kyla before we go directly into the lesson discussion it's a pandemic i know that you have missed tonka brian but tell me how has it been um well it has been fine i can say my most challenging transition was online school and i know a lot of students can back me up on this it has been a hard challenge because it's been very distracting everything is distracting but by god's grace we make it true and i'm now starting my new semester wonderful lord is in charge and just continue to interdirect kyla the theme of our lesson this week was wake up wake up a strong theme and a strong list you want to share this storyline with us okay well no problem the title of the story is wake up whichever is a very important phrase in our story today this story is about lazarus and we all know the infamous story on lazarus he became ill and his sisters mary and martha they called upon jesus to heal him right and only four days after his death four days jesus came martha ran out to him after she heard that he arrived and she was like jesus if you came earlier my brother would have been here and god said don't worry your brother will rise again but and i don't think martha really understood what jesus said because she replied saying well yes god i know he's coming back again but only on the resurrection day so christ had to explain it to her she said he said i am the resurrection and the life those who believe in me will not die so she said okay and he said she said do you believe me when i say this and she said yes i believe you and when they went inside mary her sister who stayed inside she said god why did you come so late if you came earlier he would have still been here right they really are sisters they said the same thing and christ said show me where lazarus lately so they carried him three two and here are the infamous words lazarus come out yes and you know what he did came out he came out and while i was studying this story a lot of things stood out to me right um i can't see a sense of foreshadowing because the bible how it's structured is very funny right because throughout the story what was also going on was the pharisees on the council were conspiring to get rid of christ and while they were conspiring and teaming up and plotting to get rid of him before it even happened before they even started their plans christ gave them the answer he gave them the outcome this he christ showed them that he is more powerful than that that cannot hold him down and they were too blind by their selfish ideals and the worldly things that they didn't even see that christ was saying here that you cannot get rid of me i am christ right and another main point that stood out in this story was patience patience patience mary and martha called upon christ and only four days after he came and he was like why did you come so late you were supposed to come when we asked and that is us as humans we always want no no no we also say we're saying christ so he said we always ask christ can you get this for me now can you provide the sumi now i need the study and sometimes he comes through but other times he gives you a wait of four days for weeks four months and we like god what's going on i asked for this so long now but christ only knows when where is he perfect time to give you what you need right and even in the songs i said but your fault is late and all hope is gone lord we don't understand why are you ready why are you eating so long and we ask you once we don't ever understand a lot of things that god do we don't understand but one thing we have to go on with life is we have to have faith that he knows what he's doing wonderful there's a question that came out in the lesson discussion and i want to ask you that question says that jesus wept jesus wept yeah do you think that jesus wept because of his relationship with with lazarus and lazarus had died or do you think that jesus wept because he saw a lot of other people weeping at a point in time what do you think well while i was studying a story i came to know that jesus lazarus mary and martha they were friends they all shared a bond and you know they were close friends and to me when my friend passed away i would feel very sad of your very heavy sense of grief so i believe that he did cry for lazarus but as i said before he how the bible was foreshadowing he wasn't also crying for lazarus but he was crying for himself and for his future because he know he knew that he fires his only counselors was conspiring him and he knew you'd have to go through a great or deal of pain and torment and torture and and he still he still it was a hard grief on him mentally he had a lot going on with him he had to suffer the loss of his friend and he had to suffer knowing his future wonderful wonderful and there's another question that came out and it asked what or what scene in this story do you think is most significant and why and i want to share that with you and i think that the saying that that we would have heard in the lesson was that when jesus said i am the resurrection and the life the one who believes in me will live even though they die and whoever lives by believing in me will never die and you know that is so reassuring and that helps us to understand that that jesus has the power even over death and we just need to believe and trust in him now you spoke a little while about marian and mata and um mata was a fixer kyla mata was a fixer mata was a doer any problem that you brought to mata she could fix it as a matter of fact mata had a saying no sense crying over spill milk rather look at saving the milk that wasn't spilled and of course mary we know was the emotional lady mary cried for everything and mary showed her showed her emotions in every single way possible but on that particular day kyla when their beloved brother fell ill and was so close to death both mary and mata were saying the same thing they knew that the fix of this problem that existed was jesus christ they both understood that and they both knew that that was that was the answer but you know their fletch and hope their flesh and hope was snuffed out just before jesus came when they were plunged into serious grief when their brother lazarus died okay and mata mata had a question for jesus mata had a question for jesus but little did she know that jesus had a question for her also and he said answer the question jesus acts of matter everyone who lives and believes in me will never die do you believe and that's a question i want to ask the youth and i want to ask you do you believe kyla i do i do believe who christ is and who he is is the resurrection and the life as he said earlier he is life itself he gave us the breath of life and as he told martha do you believe in me those who live in me and believe in me the righteous will not die and on the last day on resurrection day when he comes to us his people we will know no more grief or sadness and remembering our brother died and you know i'm weeping or we'll have his gratitude we'll have joy we'll have happiness have no sadness or anything and that's heaven and that is where we aim to be and that is what we have to remember constantly every day we have one goal where we want to reach which is heaven and you know i could hear your tune and i can see that smile on your face that that you long for that day and you're looking forward to that and all the more school stress no more school kyla let's wrap this let's wrap this lesson study i want to share this summary with us quickly and it says jesus wept and that's the easiest memory verse in the whole bible but we can only guess at how alone jesus must have felt with his disciples short circuit in his friends wailing and accusing him of failing to be there for them the pharisees and sadducees watching carefully to arrest him and the overwhelming grief that these people don't even get why i'm here so you know why he came was it just to feed the hungry or to befriend the lonely did he come kyla to catch a bunch of fish for peter and save the celebration of the wedding with more wine no he didn't from beginning of time the wages of sin is death we are dead in our sin and need someone to save us in order to save us someone needs to die for us but even further than that not just die for us but in order to save us somebody had to rise for us and we thank god this morning kyla that jesus christ rules jesus christ has given all of us another chance at life wake up kyla now is the time to wake up can you pray for us please no problem the father thank you for this reminder that you have paid the ultimate price for us that you have shown us the ultimate love that no one else can thank you for loving us unconditionally and thank you for everything you have done for us help us and carry this message with us throughout this week and throughout the rest of our lives so we can be there with you on resurrection day be help us in jesus name i pray amen amen amen and amen happy sabbath everyone and thank you so much kyle and uncle b for such a wonderful youth lesson study and you know psalms 1 22 1 says i was glad when they said unto me let us go into the house of the lord and this morning i welcome sister francis here with me my sister in christ and welcome to our adult lesson study this and good morning to all our viewers on our online platform okay so it's nice to have you and as we get ready to go into our lesson this morning let us invite god's presence as we pray father we thank you this morning for being with us and as we have prepared for the lesson we pray lord that you would your spirit attend us even today as we discuss your word and more of your love and your grace for christ's sake amen and amen now this morning or the title it's called sabbath rest that's the title of the lesson and we've had a really good study this week and we want to ask you sister francis what about this sabbath dress lesson this we morning a bit deeper into sabbath and the rest god has given us this rest is extremely important and it goes beyond what we would typically think about when we hear about rest which is physical rest and brother francis i must admit i do take frequent advantage of this physical arrest but um here we will see um a version of the well sister francis i think that we have a little technical difficulty this morning so let's just i'm not sure if the people hearing you so let me just change your mic please so then let me ask you again what what what do you gain from the lesson this week what's what's your thoughts on this week's lesson yes so i was saying i'm hoping you guys can hear me better wonderful all right so i was saying in this week's lesson we delve a bit deeper go ahead this rest is extremely important and it goes beyond there we go it goes beyond what we would typically think about when we hear sabot rest which is a physical rest and i was saying you know i love physical rest i take frequent advantage of physical rest all right but um here we would see that by studying two versions of the fourth commandment and other verses we learn how to keep the sabbath so brother francis let's begin by examining the sabbath as it relates to creation how can we remember by resting you see for me the creation story talks about the power of god and it's so interested in genesis it starts with genesis 1 and verse 1 says in the beginning god created so it gives us one time the foundation that god created this world and everything in it even us human beings my sister and it also says that listen we were created in a special way where the godhead came together and they but and they formed us with their hands and made us special the other critics was spoken into existence and it shows also that because we were created in this way and in the image of god that also we must remember that we are responsible for taking care of god's creation in fact we are stewards and so we take the sabbath to rest and remember that we are created by god and that we are given stewardship of the earth and we will take care of the earth that we have yes amen amen amen amen so it's so interesting to see so many blessings that god have granted unto us and because of that we need to be thankful and i hope that my viewers are thankful and says what can you tell us about being thankful and on the sabbath yes i must say i am thankful for the sabbath and i was very thankful for this aspect that was brought out where we were in freedom the freedom that the sabbath reminds of reminds us of i would say i probably appreciated this view of sabbath rest most as it really opened my eyes to this aspect we know the sabbath was introduced during creation but here we see it as mentioned at a time the israelites were liberated from their bondage in egypt you know god used moses to remind them that he had the power to liberate them from this hundreds of years of being in captivity yes yes and we might think how does that relate to us today you know obviously we aren't kept in um captivity physically but i think we are captive in an even deeper way as it relates to sin being bound in sin and being captive and being held under the wilds of the devil and um this to me really resonated and it was a timely reminder for me personally um i was expressing to a friend last week that you know i was really struggling spiritually and it just so happened that this this lesson came to me and she actually snapped a picture and sent it to me and it resonated and i was like wow with the star but we can remember that god gave his life for us amen you know we have that blessing of salvation and through his power through his blood we can be free from sin and we can we can overcome anything any difficulty that we might be going through we don't have to despair you know once we have god and we take hold of his power it's so amazing and we should really really be appreciated of this brother francis amen amen all right so as we think about the sabbath and how it helps us to celebrate and to be free is this freedom just for us brother francis or is it for everyone well i see it's so interesting because i think the sabbath came into the bible from the first book of the bible when it dealt with the creation on the seventh day and the seventh day being blessed and hallowed by god so it clearly shows us that the argument where people come and say that the sabbath is for the jews clearly doesn't hold water in the bible because we can see that it was created from the start of humanity and adam and eve the first or four parents they started this sabbath celebration and sabbath creation and i know sometimes a lot of our non-sda friends may have different questions about the sabbath and we are just here to share to tell you that it's not a day of burden and a day of rules and a day of restrictions but a day where we can do so many things and some of the things we are discussing here today so then let me ask you this sis you are from the beautiful sun drenched island of beckwith saint vincent and the grenadines what are some of the things you do or your people and family doing backway on the sabbath yes i am thank you so much um you're making me a bit homesick thinking about my island so as you said i am from the beautiful island of beckwith just about seven square miles but seven square miles of beauty all right and we generally celebrate the sabbath like we do here in trinidad but there's one integral difference in that we incorporate nature a lot and because our island is so small we have nature and beautiful places like 10 minutes away so usually what we would do after a morning worship we would go to a lovely park on the beach and we would fellowship and and just enjoy nature with each other and appreciate god's beauty in nature so that's what we do amen and i must say that my father is in vincent and the grenadines and i've been to your island first time and i can say from my experience it's very true it's beautiful it is and you know i i love that that the different things that you do with the nature-based enjoyment of arrests at that island but then sometimes we are called to do a little more than relax and we are called as soup so what can you tell us about serving on the sabbath yes yes and this is where i need to personally improve on you know well the lesson was telling us how jesus healed a lot on the sabbath okay brother francis and this was in direct contradiction to the rules at that time the fire that the pharisees had okay you know they were so concerned about what not to do what not to do what not to do you know we are masters and that but jesus came and showed them what we should be doing on the sabbath and it's not just about being selfish and being in our own bubble but we need to go out there and serve humanity serve the needs that are out there so jesus he went and he healed the sick and the suffering and he broke that those bonds that were on them so we need to be i i feel that we need to be and we need to reflect christ reflect his character in that way we need to go out there not just think about ourselves not just be in church and have a lovely worship but we need to go out there and serve the needs that is that are out there in the community so that's what i get when i i read about serving others so you know it's so interesting you're saying that because a lot of people think us as people who who can't do on the sabbath and here we see we can look in the bible and find one of seven miracles that jesus said on the sabbath where he healed the people he helped people so that there's we can help people on the sabbath we can be thankful and gracious and and provide that support for people when they're in trouble when they're in emergencies or different things we can step forward and do that and it's so good to know that we can do so many things on his sabbath and it's not just what we can't do but where can we find a time on sabbath to do so many things that we are discussing this morning so praise god for that yeah i mean because what let's say we see someone in trouble brother francis are we going to pass them straight and say oh sorry it's subber i mean how does that reflect on us yeah you know as as children of god so it's really an important point that we should take note of amen so when we so we've heard about how we can serve others brother francis right um so how is how do we ultimately serve god on the sabbath how can we dedicate this day to him i love that question because you see the sabbath no becomes a sign that listen it identifies us as god's people and a lot of the time we've read the voice about abraham's seed and we are heirs to the promise and we believe that when we follow god on the sabbath it indicates that we are a sign of god's people but not just on the sabbath but what we do in the week as well yeah our work week and that sort of thing also indicates that signal as well so it's not just the the the sabbath keepers and we behave special on on friday six to six and okay we react we have that sign but we showcase that all week and how we move how we operate how we treat people so that this sign is so important because it presents treating simply it reminds us of our origin who created us as well as our liberation from sin as he was saying along with our responsibility to take care of the weak praise god for that so it's a quality time with our creator and redeemer and he invites every member of humanity to spend this quality time frame it's an open invitation for anyone who wants to start to keep the sabbath so i'm saying that with our time is spent and we've had a lovely discussion but what are some of the key takeaways we can take from the lesson this morning sure so for me my key takeaways from this lesson this week's lesson is uh the sabbat rest reminds us we were created and of whose we are amen it points us to our creator brother francis oh god it's a special memorial and a sign that binds us to him it also an another key point is that he is not only our creator but he is our redeemer as well and it's a reminder that through his blood and his power and his imputed righteousness we can be free from the bondage of sin amen amen that that excites me man i like that point amen and finally this tablet is for all it's not just for us it wasn't it isn't just for the israelites those in egypt it's for everyone you know and we should use it as a time to be of service to others i think that's a really extremely important point brother francis yes and you know as i was going through this week's lesson it really reminded me of what jesus said were the two greatest commandments we find that in mark 12 30 and 31 to love the lord your god with all your heart with all your soul with all your mind and with all your strength and to love your neighbor as yourself amen amen thank you so much and as we close could you pray for us my dear yes of course the loving and kind father we thank you so much for your love and your words which he spoke to us today i pray for those including myself who may be struggling and keeping your sabbath dear lord i pray that we would pray for your strength and your power to be overcomers and i pray for even those who might be struggling with this sabbath topic may you speak to them and may your truth be revealed is my prayer in jesus name amen amen and amen hi everyone good morning and welcome to our online update segment once more i'm excited to see who's on the stream worshiping with us today first a reminder of you guys to please keep sharing this link liking the streams and encouraging others to do the same i know it might get a little tiring hearing myself and atinaja urging you week after week to help us share god's message with a wider audience but already your efforts have wielded fantastic results just last week over 7 000 people watched our stream and our international family is growing every day how great is that so for the next few minutes i'm dedicating this segment to calling out members of our extended international family because we appreciate you guys so much if you hear your country called represent and put your flag in the chat starting really far from home we have flander from johannesburg south africa and i really hope i got your name right because i really want you to know we're glad you're here with us anybody from africa coming a little closer we have from spain lavone williams anybody from spain we're really glad to have you with us thank you for coming um from london we have amanda and delhi walt danny wallace rather welcome welcome london we are so glad to have you um here in the caribbean in the british virgin islands we have kaya huggins kaya thank you for coming thank you for worshiping with us um welcome to the british virgin islands from jamaica we have opel davidson and tanisha lawrence hi i'm so glad to have you here um from guyana we have flora thomas flora thank you i noticed you were also on our early birds list so thank you for being so zealous and eager to worship um finally from our sister aisle tobago we have mr leaf leith i hope i'm saying your name correctly um hi welcome you know thank you for being here with us worshiping with us and logging on to our stream i hope you all enjoyed it and continue to enjoy it um now for our early birds um moretta david patrick and celia jeffrey hi i'm so glad to see you and lionel abraham ayanna brian and joe subis i'm so glad to see you joining us so early it really is good to have you that's all from me for now i hope you enjoyed my segment and i will see you a little bit later bye and happy sabbath everyone it is indeed a privilege to bring this week's announcements to you now last week the nation's prime minister indicated his attention his intention sorry to authorize the possible lifting of the suspension of congregational worship however no official word has yet been released from the office of the prime minister so there is still no congregational worship at five rivers sda church but we continue streaming every saturday morning from 10 am we also host sunday and wednesday evening services on the zoom platform beginning at 6 pm both days this week we continue with our 2021 family live series entitled a fresh start which began on august 14th today we have the fourth installment and the entry is thick so don't even think about switching now last starbucks pastor leslie moses delivered the midday message and this week we have with us pastor wayne sampson family life director of the south caribbean conference remember this series runs every saturday live on our youtube channel from 10 am tell a friend the women's ministries department of the five rivers sta church presents parenting the adolescent a five-week online training program this program targets parents of children aged 10 to 19. wait a minute that means me too i'm gonna be there so you better be however since children mature differently parents with younger or older children are also welcome the program is carded to run from september 4th to october 2nd on saturday afternoons from 6 30 p.m to 8 p.m that is from this afternoon from 6 30 p.m to 8 p.m for further information regarding cost and registration instructions please visit our five rivers sda website for further details remember to visit the south caribbean credit union which is the financial institution of 70 adventists in trinidad and tobago for information on how they can assist you in achieving your financial goals see the five rivers sca website for further details and information and in these hard times we know we can all do it a bit of economic advice we take this opportunity to remind you that we continue to pray for all of our church members and viewers so please continue sending in your prayer requests the link is located in the bio of the stream on youtube every week you can also email us at connect five rivers sda dot org that's connect at five rivers sda dot org remember you can also follow us on facebook instagram and twitter at frsda church follow our youth department on instagram at f r s d a a y visit us there on weekdays as we post positive and uplifting content to help keep us going during the week to enjoy the rest of the sabbath day with us thank you and god bless thank you very much sister sherry for sharing those announcements with us and we say to god be the glory first peter chapter 3 first peter chapter 3 verse 7 says likewise the husbands dwell with them according to knowledge giving honor unto the wife as unto the weaker vessel and has been heirs together of the grace of life that your prayers be not hindered this is our segment we still say i do we still say i do and i want to thank all the individuals far and wide who have been sending their wedding pts to us helping us to understand that they are still in love helping us to understand that they still cherish marriage and we at five assembly adventist church we cherish marriage life tremendously and we say to god be the glory for holding all these marriages together and we continue to pray for you we continue to support you we continue to encourage you yes we still see i do and we want to go straight into some of these wonderful pictures mr and mrs mckenzie mr and mrs mckenzie from the british virgin islands married for eight years and we would know mrs mackenzie as kyle huggins one of our members of our church while she was here she played a significant part in our church life and we continue to keep both you and your husband in our prayer mr and mrs iron ramsar yes another son of the soil but he was whisked away by his beautiful wife and he's now all the way down peanut i think it is and we say to god be the glory they are married for 11 years and still enjoying wedding bliss we continue to keep you and your wife in our prayer mr and mrs walker yes mr and mrs wokan you would have heard rebecca short while ago that's the daughter of mr and mrs walker you will see mrs walker in a little while and they still look efficient they are still enjoying wedding bliss and they are married for 15 years and compton we will continue to keep you in our prayer mr and mrs marchand mr and mrs marchand all the way from diego martin seventh-day adventist church and they are married for 14 years 14 years and we say to god be the glory may god continue to bless your marriage and your home mr and mrs grong i love the afro it reminded me of mine back then mr and mrs broom from enterprise seventh day adventist church and they are married for 49 years yes to god be the glory 49 years and still enjoying wedding bliss to god be the glory we will continue to keep you in our prayer mr and mrs thomas mr and mrs thomas married for 23 years i'm not too certain where mr mrs thomas is from but please send in the chat and tell us where you are from we continue to encourage you and we continue to keep you in our prayer mr and mrs graves yes our very own sandra graves you know she got married and her husband said no we're not going to be separated i'm not going to be way over there and you are here so he sent for his wife we miss her but we know that they're together they are married four years now in the us of a and we are praying for this family god bless you stay strong mr and mrs radick mr and mrs radick all the way from superior sda church they are newly married two years now and content to god be the glory we continue to keep you in our prayer and we want your patriots to keep coming please email your pictures to the email address that is on the screen now let us celebrate with you let us enjoy marriage life with you let us continue to keep you in our prayer as we at five o'clock god bless you until next sabbath happy sabbat everyone at the beginning of 2020 we would have looked forward to the whole year with glee and admiration having just come from church camp we were in a spiritual high looking forward to our next journey throughout the entire year of 2020 but nothing could have prepared us for what would have happened next and it doesn't matter where you are in the world viewing this you were affected by the covet 19 virus just like we were here in trinidad and tobago and just like that everything was locked down and closed down our borders were closed and we were trapped in our homes with isolation and in that isolation we felt alone and we felt like if there was nothing else we could do but to bridge that gap it would seem as though god and his infinite wisdom would have placed all these talents within the five reverse congregation and with those talents we were able to bridge the gap via this this channel this youtube channel that we have and in bridging that gap we were able to take away some of the loneliness and bring a product of this service to you or or this service to you so that we could still at least be able to congregate virtually and be aware of god's message and have a proud product a product that we could be proud of with that in mind we could not have anticipated what would have happened again what we would have had was the ability to reach our membership right here in five of us and it wasn't in our wildest imaginations that would have gone globally at this moment we are proud but humbled to say that we would have been able to reach as far as new zealand africa the united states throughout the caribbean with our programming as such because you would have been viewing you have been reaching out to us via email via whatsapp message via phone calls to find out how you can donate or contribute to the fantastic work being done in this fight reverse church and to you i can see this today i am proud to say that we have finally reached an avenue that we can in the description of this video there is a link to our website that will take you to a do a donate page that will allow you to contribute to the to the ministry of the five reverse church because you've enjoyed it so much you've been reaching out far and wide to find out how you can donate to us and because of that we have set up a system that you can it's simple it's effective people have already started donating or contributing but even if your contribution is just prayers we still are accepting and appreciative of it so as we continue to enjoy a work programming contribute if you want but as well you can also we can also solicit your prayers so that you can be a part of the ministry here in five rivers thank you and god bless good morning everyone if you recall the first week of our drama series i had asked you to reflect in your journal how do our actions and examples as parents and the older ones affect and impact the young people when it's their turn to be the adults the parents the husbands and wives by now we've all heard the age old poem that goes uh children live what what they learn so we know that a child who lives with criticism learns to condemn a child who lives with hostility learns to fight and if a child grows up with ridicule he or she learns to be shy and all of that is truth but after a while each person is accountable for his or her own own decisions and the behaviors that we meet out to our family regardless of where we grew up so not because your parents used bickering and brawl to make every decision means that you can't speak softly to your loved ones giving everyone a chance to be heard respectfully not because you got licks with a slipper or a pot spoon means that you can't try talking to your children as a mean of discipline and seriously do you think that just because your mother put up with a father who was abusive or unfaithful or vice versa means that you get a free pass no god ain't behind that so at the end of the day the bible says to us let this mind be in you which also was in christ jesus it's in romans 12 2 that we are told we have no excuse to be conforming to this world instead we should be striving for a renewed mind so that we can demonstrate the good and the acceptable and perfect will of god and you know each week i see we can't do this on our own everything good that we strive for we can only do it do it through the grace of god so you're trying to be a good parent you need god's help you're trying to be a present father you need to rely on him you're trying to communicate well ask him ask god for his grace so what's the journal entry for today ask yourself when i am honest with myself what attitudes and values have i adopted from my parents that can stand to be changed so while you do some introspection and you ask god to see if there are any undesirable ways in you ask him to renew you because in the end you must answer for you [Music] getting better and better every day you gotta buy some alkaline books for you in because you know all in books first yeah i really enjoy the coloring enjoyment too [Music] they call me and did you ever go but i know [Music] [Applause] really i didn't want to try anything okay the next time the quality school i will send mr tom i'm going to talk mr thor mr who is christmas who is [Music] no no i know [Music] so [Music] mommy yeah i so frustrated i don't know what to do what do you mean you don't know what to do i spoke to you about this already you and elijah need to sit down and talk about this it's not just the two of you all anymore you know you have an audition come in yeah but it's like every time i try to talk to him about it we can't even have a conversation everything ending up in an argument and i just so tired of fighting okay hear what to do big get down on your knees and pray about it asks god to help you find the right time to approach elijah on this and when the lord shows it to you you are going to get eliza's attention and you will sit down and discuss your situation yeah i just wish i could go back in time and undo it there is no going back in time to undo nothing ranel you already stood up before god and man and made your pledge so there is no going back no you have to be moving forward and as i told you before it's not just you and elijah anymore you have an audition coming so you have to think about this child that you are carrying okay yeah well i will try to tell him tonight and maybe i'll do it during dinner or something yes that's a good time that would be a good time um try to prepare you know a meal that you know he likes one of his favorites prepare that for him and you'll discuss the situation that is what you need to do you all need to sit down and really talk but before you do that say a word of prayer in them okay well i'll let you know how i go yes i would really like to know how things um play out all right okay okay then be bye-bye [Music] mercy [Music] all right [Music] all right what happened are you hungry you want to fix something fatigued no i had to go back to you obviously now so oh and take this before what's that come on elijah what i tell you about that no pleasure come number i insist is it lisa could do you know what sacrifice is made for me growing up elijah i totally already we were parents we are parents that's what parents do they make sacrifices for the children because they love them we just get children and then expect them expect a sponge on them when we get older so i tell you about this this is all right in elijah all right okay and speaking of parents elijah [Music] you know your father's still upset or we didn't get invited don't get upset when you call inimari why would he even think that i would invite you to my wedding elijah he passes the pass i now catch why are you even talking to him in the first place he called i didn't call him call my dad simple when he called do not answer the phone right do not answer the phone i can't believe you take on a man call after all he did to us ma after what he did to you you really answer he phone elijah i'm watching your day and you know you know it's sad you know that attitude you're just reminding me of your father look how vic's you're getting don't ever compare me to a man again that nasty man to ever ever compare me to him again and our next thing that man is not my father he is anything but my father [Music] i think it's home are you hungry let me get there's something for you to eat okay okay elijah all right now if you you see a biz if you can't wait i'll it right i'm gonna get something for you [Music] that's a good message you get there boy uh it's just work okay look before yay right hold it properly all right can you take care all right go with good son and remember to pray okay nice i love you [Music] so hey while i can sit down smiling [Music] what's my what's wrong well i'm here so i just come to normally these until a balcony original project true well you got the cake hall of fame oh yeah i hope you liked it i just couldn't get any time to eat it oh well ativa wanted to eat it but i did it especially for you but well your ears no i brought lunch room i was not about to head out to the cafe if you wanted to come with me hey elijah askaro hi um this is my colleague giselle hi gisele i know gisele weren't you at the wedding his wedding yes i was you were the one with all the nails yes well i was just about to leave it was nice seeing you again this is the song yes ma'am night are you okay um i'm all right what's your name she's okay all right i just went to look for brian and he says he wants to see at his office all right hope everything is okay all right uh mr bartolomeo hey elijah here from so i i got some information and i i thought i need to share with you fusan and what information is that no elijah this is not confused this is not but i got it from a reliable source upper management is very concerned about the delta variants in this pandemic and i'm hearing that i'm hearing that they're thinking about pushing back this project and putting on your restart date namaste the cardo mirrors the kannadoo made this again [Music] so when i want to restart this project in asia that's it nobody is saying much i'm just picking up things here then everywhere give me a little chance let me make some calls and see what i can find out what am i to do with this information now elijah what i don't want you to do is anything foolish i don't want you to go picking up the phone and calling upper management making calls elijah something will work out work out what could work out i have responsibilities no masterbot on me this this unfairness about all of you they cannot do this again elijah elijah take it down elijah listen to me listen to me you need to take the rest of the afternoon off go and sit and cool your head [Music] elijah we all make plans and half the time the plans don't pan out listen to me but what we are sure about is that god will make our way okay ronaldo i need dining room you original melody today right now we need to talk what happened i didn't know he was coming home so early today we need to talk or not we need to talk okay i'll just prepare and don't know i have to listen [Music] since you and i got my adrenal since you and i got married nothing has been going right these past six months is nothing but chaos things are terrible between you and ironer elijah what you're talking about let me get us off my chest please listen to me i made a blueprint for my life rene i made a plan for my life and right now nothing is going according to that plan right now [Music] right now oh you could do this to murinel how you could be pregnant how do you know about us how i know about her ronald you're always calling me a mama's boy but as soon as things go bad between you and i you're quick to go and tell your mom you all be business from when we don't talk i know you're telling her that you're pregnant you told her this before you even told me reynald elijah i was going to tell you you was going to tell me today he was going to tell me i cannot take care of a trial or you could allow the staff on how i could allow this up on how i could allow this to happen i got pregnant by myself you wasn't supposed to be taking precautions you know i taken precautions you wasn't taken precaution till i saw why trying to make this my fault renee i cannot afford a child right now i can't journal is milk pampers clothes granola baby you will take care of that what you just tell me take care of that that's all you have to say elijah just take care of it you're trying to tell me to get rid of your child ronald i did not say that do not put words in my mouth i did not say it oh i understood exactly what you said you said to take care of that like this is our child elijah ronald i was not talking about the baby i was referring to milk and pam personally don't point your hand in my face right you are the most selfish self-centered person i've ever met in my entire life right everything is about you your career your life what about me what about my degree eli i don't want to hear what you have to say right everything is about you everything is about you right you're driving around in your in your bmw archive now for gas for it always asking me for it always talking to everybody about the big project he used to work on whoever i don't want to hear you elijah you know my mother told me i wasn't ready for marriage i took a chance on you i give you a chance i put aside everything everybody that care about me i i argue with my mother because i believe that i had loved you and i wanted to marry you right now you come into me and tell me that's the worst six months of your life you're acting like a little boy elijah what is suspect man you are not calling me [Music] you have issues right but if i have to do this by myself i'll do this by myself don't touch me don't talk to me i don't want to hear it right this is not in your plans i don't care deal with it [Music] god i don't know what to do just just help me [Music] what going on with me buddy [Music] know [Music] we'll now now have our theme song [Music] i've always tried to live life on my own no one but me could sit upon [Music] and in the end i know i'm worthy [Music] but then one day it all came crashing down [Music] my former friends were nowhere [Music] the success i thought was mine was like the friends i could not find now i realized [Music] [Music] [Music] is [Music] my selfish passion has brought me [Music] me [Music] [Applause] [Music] so my life has been such a broken dream [Music] [Music] has been such a broken dream pain and sorrow went between [Music] [Music] starting over again hymn number 618 stand up stand up for jesus [Music] stand up stand up for jesus [Music] oh [Music] is [Music] [Music] to the mighty gone [Music] oh [Music] [Music] you did [Music] where [Music] is [Music] this is [Music] lord [Music] marvelous grace [Music] [Music] marvelous [Music] was [Music] [Music] praise [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] is [Music] [Music] [Music] what [Music] cry [Music] the is is [Music] uh is [Music] [Music] [Music] right good morning and a happy sabbath to one and all to our regular members at five of us we thank you for joining us at our prayer corner to the community of five of us happy to have you to our visitors and our worldwide web friends we are happy you joined us at five of us this morning you know saba time is a special time it's a time when god he leaves eternity and he joins us in time it's a time when he is so close to us a time when he wants to commune with us to talk with us to listen to us and so at this time i want to encourage you to spend this time spend the sabbath in prayer and in communion with god [Music] to those who sent in prayer requests [Music] god is especially close to us at this time so even though your names weren't called i want to tell you pray pray in your hearts god knows your name and he is hearing your prayer so sister thomas we call your name and god knows your name sister carleen you are asking for prayer for your son and your daughter god has promised that he will save them patricia alexander your children and grandchildren god will save them too natasha solomon we are praying for you cecil joseph you are in our prayers and remember even if your name wasn't called god knows your name and he knows your need and so at this time i want to invite you to pray with us let us all bow our heads as we pray father this morning we recognize you are here with us you have stepped out of eternity and you have joined your children thank you father thank you for this blessed privilege of prayer you have kept us during this week lord you've provided us for us you've kept us safe lord even in the challenges that we've met this week you have been with us and we thank you [Music] today we ask lord that those persons who have requested prayer that you know they need and we ask you to draw near for those names that won't call but for those names that you know father we ask you to draw especially close father there's so much to thank you for [Music] and there's so much to ask you for you know every need you know every joy you know every challenge so father we lay them all before you this morning we say a special prayer for the stream team lord as each person rededicates their life in service for you father may you take away anything that would hinter that would hinder our efforts to carry your word and your work throughout so father we invite you come close come nigh be with us here today we say a special prayer for the speaker lord may his words reach far and wide and may it not return void but may each heart be blessed father we thank you we thank you for hearing our prayer we thank you for answering our prayer thus we pray with thanksgiving in jesus name amen [Music] i've always heard there is land beyond the mortal dreams of man where every tear will be left behind but it must be enough [Music] shining [Music] but it must be in another place [Music] so i'm waiting for another [Music] look in jesus face [Music] sometimes i can't hardly wait for that sweet sweet [Music] when i'll be swept away to another time in another place [Music] i've grown so tired of earthly things they promise peace but first all of life's sweetest joys combined could never match those in another time oh [Music] [Music] truly trusts the test of his oh [Music] [Music] another place where all my hopes and dreams will be captured with one look at jesus face oh my heart's been burning my soul [Music] [Applause] [Music] when i'll be swept away to another time in another place [Music] so i'm waiting for another [Music] [Applause] [Music] with one look at jesus [Applause] [Music] sometimes i can hardly wait for that sweet sweet [Music] and a very present sabbath to everyone we are in the presence of god one more time and what joy is experienced when one enters into the presence of god and you're in this series the first start and what a meaningful experience we have been having thus far i can just remember us still remember the very onset of this series when passer redwoods philbot would have opened as it were the exercise with installment one and then came pastor pastor morris and then pastor president moses last week we are here now for the fourth installment and we are dealing today with abuse in the family abuse in marriage to be more specific that's where we are going and uh this morning's experience this morning's sermon is derived from one biblical passage we shall be hovering over wrong that one biblical passage is found in ephesians chapter 5 and verse 21 ephesians chapter 5 and verse 21 and it reads submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of the lord submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of the lord shall we pray please holy god we have opened the holy book the bible we read from the holy book we ask you now god that your holy spirit will identify with us and lead us into truth truth that's derived from this one biblical passage open our minds to receive i pray that the words of my mouth but then the meditation of each heart each worshiper's heart will meet your divine approval let your kingdom come and let your will oh god today be done we pray in jesus name amen ephesians chapter 5 and verse 21 abuse and marriage we are looking at today but i want to make it quite clear that we are not necessarily going to get into all the the different hardcore realities of abuse but we shall be seeking to get a biblical perspective or even a way out of that as it were standing here this morning to speak in about this topic is no easy feat really to stand on in front of a congregation and speak of abuse in marriage is a very challenging exercise it is hard why you may be saying it is hard because here is a minister who has been preaching for over 38 years now saying it is difficult and i'm still admitting it is difficult and i'll tell you why it is difficult because i just might be talking to somebody who may be going through an experience that we have been talking about here this morning i don't know the story of the persons who are listening to me in the congregation or those who are online either and therefore it really gets into my consciousness that i might be tapping into somebody's somebody's silent scream as it were and that makes it awfully difficult because as i said before i just might be speaking to somebody who may have experienced abuse in marriage or maybe i am speaking to somebody who is right now experiencing uh abuse in their marriage relationship i might be talking to somebody who's listening right now that person may have gone through abuse even last night i may be talking to somebody who may have felt the need for control to the extent where they have lost self-restraint so i'm talking to a number of different persons at the same time on this very sensitive topic i might be talking to somebody who who might be making who might be masking their propensity to be violent and they're masking it with a smile they're masking it with the donations and the offerings they bring to church i don't know who i'm talking to but i know i'm talking to individuals listening right now who may very well have a silent scream why because this hideous experience is nowadays abuse it is hard to talk about this sub this particular subject more so the reason for that is because as far as my experience tells me it is difficult because we have used even our religious space our religious traditions what have been used to defend the perpetrator many a times in the attempt to keep things quiet and to push it away many times this this religious tradition would have caused us to to cause people to to blind the victims who are in a violent situation using religious lingual to cause them to accept violence as a way of christianity but it's awfully difficult because the space that i function in would have rendered all of these but more than that it is difficult because you see people it is difficult because this experience and difficult as it is becomes rather essential because we have to break that barrier and allow this silence that is that surrounds this particular experience to be to be broken it is essential for us to speak about it because speaking about it really presents a light on the path to this reality of abuse in the marriage which is a critical step in creating a pathway for safety for those who are victims i will further say that it is essential for us to speak about it even though it is difficult because speaking about it and speaking about about abusing marriage as a violation against god's love can give the victim strength to seek a better way i also believe it is essential for us to speak about this because naming abuse in marriage as an evil can help call perpetrators to account and perhaps to repent and find treatment it is essential then as difficult as it is i am praying then that the holy ghost will assist me in relating to this very this very challenging exercise abuse is something that we need to speak about then you see abuse can be easily perpetrated or foolishly accepted when god's purpose for marriage is neglected or rejected i think i need to say that again it is quite easy for abuse to be perpetrated when foolishly we ignore god's purpose for marriage we may reject it or neglected and it's because and i'm going back to the very start of this this series with pastor pastor red versus filbert when he make us only made us to understand that this all this all of this gets started with god the moment we move away from god god's perspective to marriage god's purpose for marriage when we foolishly drift away from that you can foolishly accept it or you can satanically inflict it and so it is necessary for us to speak from this on this topic from a biblical perspective i know that there are several commentators who would have already spoken about abuse and maybe i'm talking to individuals who understand the the academic information about abuse and such like but we want to go a bit deeper right now we want to go to the place where after we would have heard from god because we're not yet talking man's word we are relating to god's word that there will be within us my brother my sister that will be within us a revival the need for transformation to take charge of our lives and to take charge of our spaces and to function the way god wants us to but if you don't know god's purpose then you could be foolishly accepting something that you should be disdainful off and i have met individuals like that there are some persons who who accept abuse and you'll hear them say well half a loaf is better than none they know that abuse is taking place but then who will and it is all because the understanding of what god has for marriage is not grasped and even though there may be a mental exposure to that and even an understanding of it the experience with god in the marriage is not being had and so the devil can worm his way into broken minds now naughty well people any life that is void of god is a broken mind and you can see men and women who may go into marriage with lofty thoughts i will love you to the very end but when they get inside there and the reality of marriage comes at them because they are void of god they don't understand the purpose that god has for marriage they don't understand god's involvement in marriage then they begin to to relate to the experience from a human perspective and from a human perspective all that you'll get in marriage is a struggle for power when god no not you well whether you're a christian or not a christian every marriage has a power struggle but how you relate to that power makes a big difference for the christian there is a god a god-given way to deal with it when god's prescription for marriage is not adhered to then you'll see me walking into marriage with my brokenness somebody please stay with me i will i may promise the young lady all that he thinks i should promise but with my brokenness without god when the challenges of marriage comes i will fall back on my cultural expectations my social upbringing and my own brokenness will take over so you can see many a time some noble thinking people get involved in marriage and in marriage they begin to exercise a different kind and you hate a partner say no i never thought he could be like this or she will be like this you see because marriage people take time with me here now marriage is the ultimate manifestation in a person's life who is in marriage as ordained by god for the image of god to be made manifest i don't know if you understand what i've just said you can fake a whole lot elsewhere you can put on the mask elsewhere while you are dating you can give exactly what's required but when the rubber hits the road and you're in that space with that person night and morning every given situation in that person's face the real deal comes and if god's perspective to marriage is not grasp then your brokenness will take over you will find yourself behaving like prophet did somebody hear me please there are many men who may not have really practiced or not practice who may not have thought that they would have as you noticed it in in in the video right here it is he's now checking himself look what i've come to but where he got that from there would have been a scripting that he came into marriage with but without god that scripting will take over let me say to every person in this given space we all have been scripted we all have imprintings that we come into marriage with and if we are not relating to it from god's perspective that scripting will take over and we will find it comfortable to abuse the person that we say we love and feel comfortable about it because there is a search for power that's the reality of it but here the bible makes it quite clear in ephesians chapter 3 chapter 5 and verse 21 submitting yourselves one to another i alluded to the point earlier on that even religion would have cradled abuse and that's the truth the money in which we would have shared information about marriage caused many persons to accept abuse in marriage and believe this is the real deal for better or for worse as if that i've heard it in my ministry i've heard it where a person said but pastor now the bible the minister said it's for better for worse and that's the truth what that means really that mean he can slap you around or she can do what she wants with you and that's the the worst that you should take no my friend what it meant then that both of you together will now be called upon to face the challenges of life there's been some good times that both of you have to deal with there'll be some bad times that both of you have to deal with so whether bad or good comes together we will work with it and hear how the bible supports that point in ephesians chapter 5 and verse 21 here how the bible gets started submitting yourselves one to another it did not get started with verse 22. wife's submitting it gets started with verse 21 where there is a common submitting one to the other immediately here people i see some beautiful spiritual things coming alive number one marriage calls for two persons who are yoked in the spirit you didn't hear me at all now that's where equally yoke becomes necessary because it is in the fear of the lord if you fear the lord and your partner doesn't fear the lord and you foolishly get involved in a marriage arrangement with a person who doesn't fear the lord don't anticipate that his response to challenges will be like yours so it gets started with two persons who are equally yoked functioning under the sovereign will of the almighty god and here god gives the order he didn't even offer a man to give the order he didn't leave it up for a woman to give the order either submitting yourselves one to the other and you read the rest of the verses there you will see god is now given given how that submission should rule out number one he says now husbands you've got to love your wife as christ loves the church now i know for sure that that love that is required here is not the love that my father would have demonstrated to mama i'm sure that love is not the love that i see on television i'm sure that that love is not the love that broken minds reach out for the love that christ has for the church is a love that is so comprehensive a love that is so consistently shared a love that is thoroughly given that it caused the one who is experiencing that love to bow in adorational surrender that's the kind of love that god wants the man now to love but again it gotta get started with both of you in the fear of the lord if a man is not in god that model for loving sounds crazy you think i'm a foolish man or something you think i'm a bubbly or something for me to love that way if he's not in god to love that way i hear men saying well listen pastor you don't know you know the kind of creature i have to deal with the woman that i have i can't love her that way is because there is the need for the yoking in the spirit to be had so god tells the man how to function and then he turns to the woman now woman submit yourself to your husband now now that word itself creates some challenges it creates some challenges and the challenges come because to a large extent both genders misinterpret that one word submit for the male who is a chauvinistic individual will seek come to submit as being in subordination and you'll treat that person as though they're subservient and if for the woman she's so afraid of that she begins to rebel against it and the devil stands back and he smiles with that sardonic wicked smile that he has look how i'm destroying something that god wants to bless the man is misunderstanding the woman is afraid and the two genders that ought to be together they're now separated why because that one word has been misinterpreted and so in preparation for this this particular exercise i took some time with that word submit because even though it may song it may sound hellish in some people's minds because they have been knocked around with abuse and such the like the word submit is still a beautiful word and it is functional in every christian marriage but it needs to be understood what it means then you see right away when we look at the word submit in the bible we interpret that from the modern english understanding of the word submit i have discovered that as this at this world goes on there are some beautiful words that are distorted long ago i could i could with that sense of joy and pride say i am gay that means i'm happy now i say that and i'm identifying my sexual orientation language change and that word com to submit has undergone some satanic attacks just the same so i went back to the corner greek and look for that word and i've discovered that that word came from a verb that has two components one tassel and the other is hippo put them both together you get hippo tassomai what that means is a military order that is set up for battle somebody need to follow me here you are deployed in the army or like like in an army so the soldiers are deployed in order to face a battle when the bible talks about woman submitting herself to that experience is and not you well she is not being deployed by the man she's been deployed by god and her her being positioned is a position that is laid out by god that has to be respected by the man not you well in genesis god did not give adam alone dominion he gave unto them dominion and when this this union is broken and this method of functioning is denied when god's prescription is not adhered to then brokenness will kick in and arguments will kick in and abuse with kicking just the same and so submission is really the alignment of a woman with a guy deployed in the life of a guy in order to face the challenges of life together so the bible says now listen both of you submit one to another both of you understand that you have your function both of you need to understand that with god as a leader you have your role to satisfy don't you dare step out of a line and try to take over god's position man was not given the dominion by himself and the word responsibility doesn't say that he has control even the word responsibility suggests that he has he has now a task to satisfy that space with the two of them facing life together is a very intimate space oh yes and that's where the challenges come because that space is a space that god would have said to a man you have to leave your mother and your father to go there the moment you go there functioning the way you see father function or mother function you have not yet left somebody hearing me please there is a leaving in other words god is saying i am not yet finished with you i am putting you in a space where you have to leave a space that would have brought you to where you are where you are that this person fell in love with you there is still more for you but you have to leave in order for you to cleave here for you in other words then when you get involved in marriage you have actually joined god somebody listen to me carefully now you have joined god in finishing his recreative work in somebody else's life and if that is not understood then you can see trouble coming in because here those two individuals coming together with this intimate space and that intimate space therefore since the bible says submit yourselves one to another that intimate space will call for a kind of intimacy that i will describe in three with having three components that intimacy is first of all uh one that is cognitive the other is emotional and the third is behavioral i'll come back to that but i want more so for us to know take some time to flesh out a bit that that space submitting yourselves one to another will call for both persons not just one now for both persons to share together mutual trust and respect mutual trust and respect if you are deployed in the army you cannot just run crazily you have been positioned you have been posed with a particular task in hand you've got to satisfy that and the other persons around you got to respect your position because you have been deployed there in marriage god would have deployed woman to that position and set men in a position therefore god is now saying now it calls for mutual trust and respect if god put us together then god knows what he's doing let us respect one another and that's a that's a that's a seminar by itself now respect because i've come to understand respect is not foolishly taken it has to be graciously given before it is received in other words both persons got to know respect each other give your other you give your partner reasons to trust then secondly they both have to make themselves available one to the other make themselves available one to the other what i mean by that you know note that they're coming from two different perspectives two persons coming together here now and they have to make themselves available is in other words this is this is now my audience i'm making myself available i will be your audience you will be my audience whatever story has to be told in a context of marriage will not be told to nobody else it will be shared between us you are my audience i am yours that's the kind of intimate space with mutual trust and respect and you're making yourselves available one to the other let me say something to somebody here now you may be exposing your partner to in for infidelity to kick in if you allow your partner to find another audience or you may foolishly go thinking another person can be your audience the gift that god has given to you called wife or husband you've got to now share with intimacy that way making yourselves available one to the other and not sometimes you have to make yourself so available you have to listen to some things or to share some things that may cause you to be disturbed but because you are in that space to as ordained by god are set up by god then you make yourself vulnerable for that to take place then the third in that space of intimacy you have to be responsive you've got to be responsive you're not just simply hearing and then dismissing you're not just seeing things but not taking note of it and you see the need for action but you you just simply allow somebody else to you've got to be responsive that that's the depth of intimacy that is not required and if someone doesn't understand that that's a framework that god wants in marriage you can see where in marriage people looking for trust and respect outside of that space or they're finding somebody who could make themselves available outside of that space and they are responding to that person who is outside of that space certainly you're going to hit the rocks for now you definitely would and yeah because now that space is set up where we know that hey listen i've got your back you've got my back i could make myself vulnerable to you you could make yourself vulnerable to me no that's a catalyst for a marriage that could withstand abuse when you know that your partner has your back and you and your partner knows that he or she has you have their backs there is a surrender that comes with it we were designed by god to function that way and may i say something here feelings buried alive don't die you allow your partner to swim in the realm of nothingness as far as this kind of intimacy is concerned it doesn't mean that your partner will be fulfilled satisfied and bring life to his or her life if you are functioning without doing just that it oh it is all of you it's all of the other person we are sharing life together we are sharing life together and that says now listen our intimacy is it's at a depth that that's awesome our intimacy carries we see it cognitive it is a there's a level that it is cognitive what do i mean by that it means that my story your story we both will understand each other's story as i said earlier on you're coming into a space that will challenge some of the brokenness that you may have received you're coming into a space that is vastly different call marriage now it will show where you are lacking it will show where your partner is lacking so how you see things could be vastly different to how your partner sees things even though you mean looking will be looking at the same thing cognitive intimacy says listen i will respect you enough to take time to understand your story now that that doesn't happen by chance that doesn't just happen by chance by wishing either you got to be intentional about that you got to be intentional to put aside some things and create that space then cognitive intimacy when you relate to it in with that manner where your partner's story could be told and be fully understood without him or her being judged and criticized but being cared for emotional intimacy becomes alive in other words you have listened so intently you have listened with a caring heart to the extent that you vicariously begin to experience what your partner's story is all about i hope you just under hope you understand what i've just said when you share cognitive intimacy in a meaningful fulfilling manner you vicariously experience what your partner's story is all about does that mean your husband is talking to you you're not listening to debate you're trying to understand what's happening with him you're listening to your wife's story you're not there to judge and to criticize you want to understand the story and you're doing that with such caring attitude that you vicariously experience your partner's story then you can see both of you kind of on the same page now because the emotions are somewhat similar here that's the time when behavioral intimacy becomes appropriate that's the time behavioral intimacy becomes appropriate not you well i'm saying then people abuse is really the core of abuse listen to me please the core of abuse comes when in a marriage intimate behavioral activities are solicited when stories or cognitive intimacy and emotional intimacy they weren't realized somebody understand what i've just said any time in your marriage you are soliciting behavior without taking time to understand your partner's story without sharing it so intently that you vicariously experience his or her story but you want the person to behave that course of behavior is really the exposure to being abused that is simply put many times we tell ourselves it got to be it's got to be because the man is slapping the wrong and kicking and doing whatever oh yes those are manifestations of abuse but abuse gets started when i am not mindful about my partner's story and i am not listening to my partner's story really i just want them to behave and i think i said that the last time i was here you can have behavior in marriage behavioral intimacy doesn't mean that there is a fulfilling experience in that relationship you can have a person who may be giving you the behavior that you need that you solicited but because emotions and the cognitive intimacy weren't established the relationship is still dry and empty no that's abuse from that a number of different manifestations of abuse can be seen we see physical abuse coming through and physical abuse comes because listen the man wants or the woman wants what he or she wants they're not mindful about the other person's story they have not listened to the other person's story just satisfy what i want and because i am strong enough to apply pressure to cause you to be afraid of punishment i am acting and i get what i want that's physical abuse but it it is derived from the same principle no cognitive intimacy no emotional intimacy but you want physical behavioral intimacy then we have psychological abuse we have sexual abuse and that's one that is pretty rampant now and that's the one that really challenges marriages a whole lot now sexual abuse that's the time when when when two persons who have the same desire and i have had to cause the counsel with persons who who would have had who would have hit the rock on this given point and hear how it happened two persons going to consummate their marriage and after a couple weeks they have to be coming to talk about the struggles they're having the woman was feeling as though she was being used and abused she felt wasted she felt as though she was not nothing more than just simply a sex instrument and the guy was thoroughly satisfied i don't know what's a big deal with her pastor and then the conversation went on only to discover that the night of their the attempt to consummate the marriage is where the cookie crumbled the guy who was not whose understanding of sex was pretty crazy because he would have had multiple partners before he got married and his understanding of sex and such alike was based on position and performance that's all and this poor young sister grew up in the church nice young girl and such a like she had a certain expectation and he with his crazy passion-like behavior crushed the thoughts the sanctified thoughts in her mind that marriage carried or sex carried abuse took place why because stories weren't understood what was his story what is her story not understood but behavior was solicited without that an abuse took place you could imagine her then going through her very first experience feeling so so dis disrespected not because he was a bad guy not because he intended to do just that but because this sacred entrance into marriage was not understood and what intimacy truly meant was not understood he thought that behavior was it all but there is a journey people and i hope i'm talking to somebody because somebody who might be listening to me right now may be going through that some experience where they are being forced into a given sexual situation and their story is not understood then hold on to this thesis thought where abuse is birthed when behavior is solicited without having the story and it's been understood and the story not been understood to the point where your emotions are now combined or dealing with the other person but you won't be you want behavior abuse will take place i've also come to understand in marriage there is what we call without reproductive coercive abuse if that's one that i would have done some reading up on just the same where your partner may refuse to to use protection in order to just get you pregnant without discussing pregnancy forcing you not to use birth control or forcing you to use what control if they don't want it's like there is no story that has been told but we want behavior to take place when that is going on somebody is being abused we have the verbal abuse the name calling and all those different things and the list can go on and on with with with abuse but there is one that caught my attention it's called digital abuse now digital abuse and that it caught my attention because i had to do some reading on that to deal with a given situation the use of technology in marriage he'll tell you who to talk to and who to communicate with on the phone will use different apps to ensure that he or she has tabs on you wherever you go will constantly be texting you to ensure that he or she knows where you are they'll go through your phone to ensure that you are walking right now we have abuse taking place all around and i'm saying all the abuse that we can cite this morning they all derive from this one simple reality you are soliciting behavior without understanding the person's story without listening with a caring attitude that bring you to a place where you can now share what that person's feelings are over that given issue abuse is so subtly given so it can be done and it can be received just the same when we foolishly engage intimacy outside of god's perspective but the reality is abuse is really a power struggle and i said earlier on every marriage run that run that route power we all want power and don't tell me i'm wrong only if you're seeing power from only a satanic standpoint for you to get that brother to say or to get that sister to say i do you have to use power to get her to walk down the aisle to meet you that's power to get a man to give you his salary at the end of whatever time that's power to get her to give you her body surrender herself to you that's power there's a power struggle in marriage that's a reality but god has already deployed our position in order for us to navigate through that but you see outside of god that power can be pursued in an abusive manner where force is used and i spoke about that earlier on but then we may find in our circles the the more christian circle where the reward the power is used where we we only give gifts when we get what we wanted so we kind of playing the game to get you will not get this from me unless i get that from you reward power is used then we have in our in our space what we call legitimate power and what is legitimate power where based on our religious beliefs where the bible says that hey your body is no longer yours your body knows your partner your body belongs to your partner and that partner doesn't respect your body and you can hear him then say listen the bible says your body is mine i don't care if you're sick i don't care if you're tired i may have just abused you your body is mine that's what you call legitimate power but that is not what the kind of power god wants in marriage either we also have expert power where because we have knowledge we share the information in a manner to make your partner feel less than i am the authority i'm the authoritative the authoritarian here i'm the one who carries the authority here because i know this and i possess the other that's the expert power and that's not relational either we have informational power several ways of engaging power and if we are not mindful saints those can creep in and cause abuse to be experienced in that sacred beautiful space called marriage but you know something there are three pitfalls that an abusive relationship seeks to bring the participant participants in don't talk don't trust don't feel that's that that's the principles that that that that is employed those principles are employed in in a broken relationship don't talk to nobody about this now this is our business even though you're batting me down to hell and you're causing me pain don't talk about it don't trust others either you think you could trust them too no don't trust don't feel stuff your feelings down and i'm saying sometimes even in the christian community those those pitfalls are a a cradle are brought into our relationships and abuse become rampant and persons are going through their silent screams right amidst us with those pitfalls holding them down at bay they're pin down in those they're not talking no because the partner says don't do it this is our business now and foolishly foolishly we we submitted that and many times as i said earlier on we use religion to cover up some of those things i remember once having to deal with a situation the father was abusing his daughter sexually sexually come to the office are we now talking about the situation and i'm ready to go to the police get it right i'm ready to go to the police those things should not be facilitated should not be accommodated either and he had he had the bold-facedness to tell me that my responsibility is not to seek that kind of healing i ought to just pray with them tell his daughter to forgive him and to move on that happens in church and i'm saying that's how many times our religious space cradle abuse and there are many persons who may be going through that and feeling as though well there is no way of escape if this is what it is all about then let me deal with it but god did not call on us to use coercive power to use reward power to use legitimate power to use ex expert power to even use informational power god calls on us to use what is described in this social realm as referent power what is that really that is supreme love really that's when you love the way god says you should love like how christ loves the church and he loves the church in such a fulfilling way that he finds sinners coming in church they know that they are sinners but hey i'm loved and cared for and the love of god constrains us i know i'm talking to somebody here now we are only who we are not because we are better than others is the love of god that is constraining us and it is the same thing in marriage when we share love the way god says that love ought to be shared consistently given meaningfully given there is that god factor i want us to understand their bread when to break any possibility of abuse there has to be a god's perspective to this when you understand that god placed you in this space when you understand that with god you are more than a conqueror when you make yourself open for god to pour his love into your heart that's when victory can come somebody's saying pastor now you're saying something that song farfetch and no i'm not you look in romans chapter 5 and verse 5 and you'll see that god wants to pour his love into our hearts by the means of the holy spirit that's how abuse can stop that's how we ought to engage marriage people if you are in marriage and your marriage is void of god then god's love cannot be present you are only re-functioning based on what you can get in the relationship the love of god is required in marriage outside of that you will do things and feel comfortable doing them even though it might be hurting the other person because we are all wired to have power we all want it but the power that god wants us to have is a power that god carries his love carries a a restraining power a creative power his love has the authority to do what's needed in our lives and i'm saying to us this morning hey regardless the way you are at and what you may be going through god wants us to relate to our relationship with this understanding therefore here is the battle plan here is the battle plan then the battle plan says first of all let us man up to the situation admit that something is definitely wrong here admit that and you see if we can only appreciate the fact that we all have some measure of brokenness i really wish that could be understood we all have some measure of brokenness therefore this morning i'm talking to all of us i'm talking to all of us now admit our brokenness and stop dancing around the brokenness that we receive from our inherited and cultivated experiences let's let's stop dancing around with those god is calling us to something different if i had to meet with that young man that is and that young lady who is going through the situation in in in in that in the video that will be my concert there is a need for us to understand the space that you are in right now that space is a god space it's not about what you want versus what she wants or what god says and if you relate to it with that understanding and you make your heart available for god to pour his love into your heart miracles will happen in your own life and it will bring changes to the other person's life i am married now for a few years well it's over 40 years and i know what i'm talking about in my youthful days i thought because of my brokenness i have to be managed around the place walk around and declare if not verbally my actions will declare listen you are the man here and not man in a respective respecting my respectful manner but man with this kind of ostentatious approach to things and i did was i i just i wasn't getting anything now things went really nice until the love of god was poured into my heart and i discovered that listen in order for you to get what you want wayne that god has designed for you in marriage you've got to take time to respect this woman that god has given to you in other words take time to understand her story understand where she's coming from why she's functioning the way she's functioning you see you cannot experience intimacy when you're taking things only for yourself intimacy says you have to put you on whole in order to understand the other person no i have discovered that i can get all that i want for my dear wife not because she's been abused false occurs young person hear me not because i'm forcing but i've discovered that there is power and a love that god has poured into my heart a love that cannot be vanquished by the devil i am saying to all christian marriages and to those who are listening if your marriage is lacking that open your heart for god to pour his love into your heart decide right now that things will change i'm not going to function the way i used to function i'm not going to allow myself to be driven for the desire for control to the point where i will reach out and deny my partner or disrespect my partner i will not ask for behavior i will not ask him to function i will not ask her to function unless we cover the first two principles cognitive intimacy and behavioral intimacy let us share that first decide that right now establish a time to just talk to your partner now and to ensure that your partner can share his or her story in a meaningful way to the point where you fully understand where you could appreciate why when and how your partner wants things to be done then solicit in that given context i know what i'm saying some pretty idealistic but i know it works because i'm not just talking here because i read a book yes i read a book called the bible but i've also taken into the into into my own life the principles of that book and the joy of marriage i now enjoy i can call you therefore to follow after me as i follow christ and get a new start a fresh start in your marriage where your your space with your partner is a space that is so sacred you being your partner's audience your partner being your audience and you share so intimately that both of you share common feeling then they let us become so meaningful sometimes you may have journeyed in this broken space for so long and you don't know how to get out then talk to somebody don't go along with that rule that you have to shut up this barrier feeling talk to someone find a trusted christian friend don't look for somebody whose relationship is also on the rocks now find a person whose marriage is working find a person who is in god and talk with that person but more than that god has placed shepherds around now talk to them and more than that they are counselors to really shout reach out now what you put into your marriage is what you'll get out of it but with god you can be a victor i invite you please then to join me in prayer as we surrender our prayer our lives and our marriages to god right now shall we pray father in heaven thank you so much for being mindful about our entire lives every aspect of our lives and god in this given context you are mindful about marriage and many of us are married that many of us may be going through some challenging situations but i'm asking god that you'll bring each of us to a place where we take responsibility and in so doing we make our hearts available for you to pour your love into our hearts that therefore we can function like christ functions with the church we will love not simply to get from another we will love not just simply if certain things are satisfied but we will love because you are in us dispel the reasons and the challenges of abuse god open our minds to how abuse can be had and then bring healing to us personally then grant us your favor as we relate to this sacred union help us father at the end to hear you say to us well done that's our prayer and we make it in the name of jesus amen the first start is yours you can get started all over again from god's perspective ensure ensure that both of you carry some things that are mutual mutual trust and respect be available be responsive and before you ask for behavior any kind of behavior make sure you understand your partner's story concerning that and listen to it intently before you solicit action then go with god and enjoy the bliss that marriage has to offer god bless you and bless you indeed wow wow wow what an insightful message thank you so much pastor mood my bad sorry for comprehensively addressing such an important message that often gets swept under the rug as a result of its sensitivity god wants us to love and care for each other like christ loves the church and he would never hurt us in any way why then would we hurt our family or treat them badly instead of adding to the hoot let's try to make a conscious effort to encourages around us in little ways that we can sharing this link or any of the other videos on our channel is a good and easy start if you'd like to get a little more involved in oh sorry if you'd like to get a little bit more involved the stay at home orders don't have to put an end to any communication you may have we can use a technology to make a connection with those who may desperately need it in this isolation god calls us to fellowship so let's do so in any way we safely can thank you for watching our stream look forward to updates on this channel and don't forget to log into this live stream next week sabbath see you [Music] we now have our team song [Music] i've always tried to live life on my own no one but me could sit upon my throne [Music] the successes that i've gained [Music] but then one day it all came crashing down my former friends with nowhere to be found the success i thought was mine was like the friends i could not find now i realized [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] my selfish person [Music] has brought me to this point the life [Music] jesus [Music] so my life has been such a broken dream [Music] [Music] i know my life has been such a broken dream pain and sorrow went [Music] i'm between over [Music] i'm starting over starting over again [Music] [Music] [Music] my [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] you

Channel: Five Rivers Seventh-day Adventist Church

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Length: 173min 0sec (10380 seconds)

Published: Sat Sep 04 2021