EXPOSING MY TWITTER DRAFTS

[Applause] no no absolutely not cast your minds back if you will to a simpler time to a time where I would read you things that I almost said on Twitter but then in the last minute for some reason or another decided no the internet doesn't need to know this the world doesn't need to know this nobody other than me needs to know this today we're revisiting an old classic where I'm gonna read you out some of my Twitter drafts that I completely nope doubt of whether it was at the beginning the middle or the end and where exactly do we begin at the start wowsers trousers I'm starving I haven't eaten all year please subscribe for more dad jokes the problem with this is that everybody makes these kind of jokes also not the best way to announce that I'm gonna be a father I'm not gonna be I don't know why why did I say that I just fought my first toilet goblin of 2020 I just needed the bathroom but he refused to leave so and then nothing so what what did I do dang dude we'll never know what happened to that sad little toilet goblin 2020 let's bring the word bozo back into our frequent lexicon see I know why I didn't tweet this I thought I would tackle this pressing issue with the power of subconscious that's right I've been slipping the word bozo in two sentences tweets live streams videos it's such a pleasing word to say and it's so inoffensive yet so dramatic at the same time you bozo get out of here bozo what you're looking at me bows out oh good job bozo as a lot of bozo but you write you get please you get please another Christmas another panettone from every then another draft being an Italian around Christmastime means everybody buys you a panettone until your house is full of panettone and then or there's another one gosh darn all these panettone I was desperately desperately desperately trying to make some kind of a joke around the fact that I'm Italian and how cuz you're Italian everybody thinks I'll give them a palate all the Italians they like a dependent on they so I was trying to formulate a joke around that but I couldn't find the phrasing you get the idea also we ended up with like eight panettone is this Christmas this is the best and worst tweet on this website that was a reply to Dan Howell but I don't remember what it was a reply to I'll leave that for you to figure out idea Pizza Delivery dog I once interviewed a pig and tragically the internet will never see this footage that is a true story there's a true thing that truly happened I didn't tweet it because everybody would have been like I'll show us the footage but I don't have I don't have access to the footage footage is gone it's gone but it's true I interviewed a pig pig's name was Louie he was very brittle a very clean and smelled nice he fell asleep on my lap and I interviewed him I know this sounds like kick the pjju Biagio but it is true it happened I don't want to tell you I don't know how else to tell you I'm sorry anyone who insists on recouping time wasted on watching a video they did not enjoy is not the kind of person who will be permitted to use time travel when it is inevitably invented I stand strongly by that draft if you've watched a video and you're like nyan like though I want my time back then you are the kind of person who would be very dangerous to time and space if you had access to a time machine I know that sounds dramatic but I've thought about this a lot I've had a lot of time to think about things it wouldn't stop crying so elected on a bus I hope you're naked in reply to Evan Edinger why okay okay he posted a picture of himself in a traditional Japanese onsen in which you have you've got to you have to be naked I've been in one I was naked ultimately I clearly decided not to send that to him my just been a bit creepy you know I will not rest until the scoundrel who is looking all the sticky saliva off the mail is brought to justice yeah I'm still on your case saliva scoundrel seep in your hands into the post boxes and licking off all the peoples saliva off the envelopes what you gonna do with all the saliva I don't know what the hell I drank earlier apparently throwing bananas at other cars screaming a Madonna weaned in a thick Italian accent is not part of the highway code well nobody told me that is true you don't tell you them not to do that they don't tell you not to do that oh no I paid a wizard to make my entire body slightly larger whilst leaving my hair the size it is whenever I have a haircut I like to tweeze it the most cryptic way possible that was that's cryptic people on Twitter who think they know how to properly oil a gate I am a goblin who guards a very important gate so I think that I know a lot about gates it was a joke about gatekeeping [Music] my breakfast tried to kill me this morning I guess you could say it was a don't say it don't the glory 20/20 I've got a nice collection of fedoras though what what what yes it is true I use incognito windows to Google absurd questions that I don't want preserved in my internet history please tell me I'm not the only one who does that because the questions I google range in stupidity from how to do a sit-up to what would happen if I ate an actual star I don't want somebody going on my computer and stumbling upon these weird questions that I want to know answers to I only just found out that Jurassic Park is apparently about dinosaurs I must have missed some kind of subtle subtext because that was not clear at all yeah funny good sufis cake looks like Groot I'm feeling very unsettled oh yes Sophie had a cake is look like Groot please tell me that looks like Groot TAC faces in things all the time but that is undeniably Groot right just found out my cat was murdered nope don't have a cat don't have a cat probably why didn't we do PJ has changed her relationship status with his brain to it's complicated little bit of Facebook humor there Oh beautiful but also yeah all the kids out there enjoying their Nintendo Swach back in my day we ate dirt for fun and we liked it also yes I am of 10 billion years old like when you do a tweet where everybody thinks they know where it's going and it does a u-turn and there's a 360 then 180 then an Xbox 360 and then it just goes over there I made a mistake tweeting about the barbecue sauce so closely to the release of the music video because now my mentions are full of range of different emotions ha barbecue sauce Jesus I just realized I had a cloud stuck in my back for the past year and nobody told me I don't know whether to be angry or nasty and that's the end between this morning I was approached by the illegal Eagle in a dark alleyway and he tried to sell me a stolen brick brat I told him to back off and he did cool nice good story a sweet old lady once told me it was bad luck to fall asleep with wet hair false luck is a made-up concept therefore does not exist that feeling when you bite your tongue by accident but kind of like is so you start eating other people's tongues and you become the anonymous tongue bandit there's an obvious reason why I didn't we that have you ever been to the bean theme theme park in the town called bean come ride the green bean lagoon flu watch episodes of mr. bean on loop climb the Beanstalk to visit the kidney bean kingdom be careful not to get chased away by the run of beans eat some baked beans I mean hell yes sign me up good day out of fun sounds like a nice trip for the whole family have healthy bean themed meal and meet Mickey Mouse esque characters sign me the hell up can I go now I'm not busy [Music] that was a bit strange wasn't there but also it was fun and educational because we've learned something today we have learned don't trust my tweet because sometimes these drafts slip through the cracks I'll draft it save it and then in a later day I'll just let it out there I'll let it out into the world so expect to see some of these stonking tweets out there very soon but for now I'll love you and leave you if you liked this video please do give it a thumbs up and subscribe if you're new around here and ring that notification bell so you'd know when I have loaded dang video also over Christmas we had a big big sale on my shop kick the pj calm now sale is still running so if you want to pick yourself up some lovely apparel or some artwork or even some gorgeous little pins and go check out kick the pj con whilst the sale is still upon us so stay around everybody be cool and i'll see you guys in the next video alright bye [Music]

Channel: KickThePj

Views: 60,182

Rating: 4.9897399 out of 5

Keywords: kickthepj, pjthekick, twitter drafts, twitter, drafts, exposing drafts, exposed, brain farts, brain, ideas, bad ideas, tweets, things i almost said on twitter, exposing my twitter drafts, my twitter drafts, unused tweets, pizza delivery dog

Id: cFMnH2lVnqo

Length: 8min 55sec (535 seconds)

Published: Sat Jan 11 2020