exactly 7 minutes of SNL moments that keep me from pulling my life support

mama didn't raise me to be afraid of no storm she raised me to be a fearless christian sex addict with gum diseases you ain't even heard of player last week we found a condom in our bunk and all 10 of us tried it on it didn't fit anybody but it was fun so excited for all of us and my friends aidy and cecily are here today to support me because this was basically their idea oh no i was told it was a baby shower this is not right why is she what are they who is he how is she [Music] jiggly metal thingy that you use when you go rock climbing my whole family died rock climbing oh my god i really am a medium forgotten to go to narlys who are you deirdre that's the name i gave her a stereotype busted run if you know it's good for you get it get it vanessa vanessa what are you doing what oh what yeah so do you live in istanbul no uh i'm actually an international nasty girl and my friends and i are doing every dong in the world oh yeah that's nice what's your name but i've never had one thanks mom that's important for me to hear of course now go wash up for dinner what are we having basketball so i'm gonna steal his hat from him and just sort of walk around besides they got crime in england right she slept with my friend ryan okay i slept with my friend ryan okay she slept with my friend she slept with my friend on my birthday i was bi yeah i was bad yeah you lame ass [ __ ] can you believe i'm old enough to have a daughter who's getting divorced no you can't because my surgeries worked hey beth did you pack my water socks bath bath bunch of little i guess kind of yeah yeah i don't know what yeah vocal checks i'm up to my ass and bows bulls all type of bows chips and makes sense [Applause] [Music] oh big day for crack [Applause] so this is just like my show where i like talk to people are pretty cool and we're like talk about things loving our pretty cool and yeah it's radical brevilyn lets me get on with my embarrassment and and discomfort of genital herpes what are you doing she's talking to the wall about herpes medicine hey smile there it is charles shaughnessy okay now it's me doa hands who all hears a liz is it is it everyone or or do we have a couple of allies yeah so okay so it's megan and dre who else we got two we'd love to see that hand go up diana jared someone broke in and stole my love dog boot look it wasn't my worst wednesday night hi gary you know god must have spent a little more time on you because there are so many ideas going on here a flower bloomed in school today a blonde flower that made my heart stop hey a flower bloomed in school today who smelled like herbal tea and cough drop i used to be an angry weed but now my lust has bloomed i used to think that i was straight but maybe i'm gay for flowers son's 18th birthday i know how much you like batteries wow big day for vans let's hit it let's hit the lob you like it it's baked cereal well as you know we couldn't be there today because you all have a restraining order against us be our guest be our guest caviar versace be our guest be our guest rolls royce versace [Music] god shia i don't understand they told me not to do a game show but i was like screw it i can have fun i'm a regular person i don't like taylor swift i know i don't yes you do you friggin love her my boyfriend's crazy by the power vested in me by the stove vermont unitarian church you may now kiss the friends no baby move the hair and see if the ear has a hole okay hold please two we've got a firecracker on our hands can i ask you a question since we both love hillary yeah sure would you want to look at my balls go kill yourself hey you know where i'm gonna be the day that that phone comes out yeah actually that's my sister's yes with my kids yet colin did you hear that i can oh god shut up sue every we all hate you how about from now on less shooting more kissing i was born in the chinese part of epcot centers my favorite food is gum then the river for only taking three children go women if you've ever been to the philadelphia mummer's parade on new year's have you ever been to that colleges uh no i have not oh you should go it's terrible the zazu panty remover shut up you shut up well you can always make toast in it right put a little butter and bread on some toast why would i make toast outside i'll lay you on the bed and whisper in your ear then this is done you said you could do red this year and i can't wait for rehearsal oh yeah okay in my book jeffrey epstein is a hero i mean it's not like i drove a golf cart through practice but she had you always move no way i'm not going back to jail now you listen to me you beautiful spidery man logan's sister's reunited have you ever met him no i want to though

Channel: Lily Jacobs

Views: 519,268

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Id: PAeBABjg-Og

Length: 7min 0sec (420 seconds)

Published: Fri Jan 07 2022