Ex Gangster Darren Gee Tells Us His Life Story Behind The 18 Year Prison Sentence

the central club [Music] what's going on people welcome to the central club thanks for joining us before i start i just um something very sad happened yesterday um a kind of a mentor to myself um a close family friend and a business partner my father passed away i want to say rest in peace to nick fern um nick yeah obviously you've all met him guys and um what a lovely fella i love this episode it just shows that time is uh it's never promised for anyone you don't know when you'll go so this uh this episode is dedicated to nick as he did want to listen to this episode i hope you're up there watching mate so today we've got a a great guest we're so happy to have him down um if any of you know about this this is choose a life not a life l5 alive daryn g um yeah thanks dad thanks for coming down mates charmies i'm here do what you want with me [Laughter] that sounded dodge mate okay so we're not in last sense um so this is your first time in in cardiff is it no second time okay first time i've stayed in in cardiff like what was the stay like this day was an experience yeah you did message me last night it was a bit yeah but it is what it is life's life in it exactly it was it was a mad experience it keeps me grounded yeah okay so for the people who obviously don't know who darren is um liverpool born um had a bit of a manic life um like we all have but probably expedient some things that no one would ever experience and uh he's been in uh well he was in prison for a 18-year sentence yeah i've done a long time in prison yeah so um how long you been out now five years on the 21st of june five years be five years he's been out and um i come across you uh via social media and promoting this choose a life not alive can you tell us a little bit about this for the people who don't know choose a life not a knife it's it's a message it's a powerful message it it will enter your mind and make you think about how you're conducting yourself yes and the others around you how are you respecting others and what you're doing to prolong your life free from prison free from bars free from the pain gang life brings to you you lose sight of where you're going in your teenage years you start wondering you know what i mean you start you you start wondering you lose focus don't ever let your mind wonder and if you ever start losing focus focus on the message of choose a life not a knife only if it makes you think for a second was that good enough that was beautiful beautiful um so obviously um there's a lot of knife crime going on at the moment in england and in wales and that's obviously why i brought you down here because i think in the last year is it you know the amount of stabbings that i'm hearing of knife crime close friends close friends close friends yeah um i think it's been hit more over the uk your message over england scotland island maybe but not enough in wales um is we would like to obviously set so do something with this um so if you could obviously give us the permission for that we would happily yeah you can do look as i said here a minute ago um this message it's a message i deliver i'm not so you know i'm not the sole um i'm not the owner of this message it's community message i'm here just screaming and shouting i don't know why landed on me lap all i've done for five years is scream and shout about it it's making the changes whether the governments or the police officials like it it's creating that change if you just want to grab hold of it and put your narrative on it and put your spin on it you can use you're blessed to do so so i was gonna say why are you um so why is this message so close to you like where have you come from to really want to promote this message and and why are you so passionate about it because it saved me life basically me that's the bottom line like um a short i've i'm released from prison i've got no family tires that i can remain in contact with i'm an isolated kid i'm about to top myself and along my phone comes shoes are like another knife that little split second where i've looked at it thought about it and looked into it changed the whole narrative of what i was about to do so for that to change my mind someone who's so stubborn and once his mind's made up he's going for it for it to have the power to make me just go within a minute and then from that everything had done to keep me from prison being recalled into prison choose a life not a knife what was making you think yo you know what i don't want this anymore i want to i don't want to be here what was making you what was making you think the environment oh what was making me think i don't want to be in the way the system isolated me so i should have got out of prison and being pro-social and integrated with society and cracked on this but the system purposely drilled me down so i became antisocial and started hating everything about this system hating of everything about me life i was on the breadline i couldn't eat right i just lost my job i'm in a house with no boiler so it was a lot of things going on that i just couldn't deal with and the people that was meant to help me they couldn't help me because they were kept from me due to license conditions so there was a lot to deal with by myself and i just thought you know what go on is that so doing 18 years coming out of that the world must have changed your life's change like how are you were you just really struggling to cope with that were you struggling to cope with that howie yeah because what happens if you've got 18 years so you get along if you get double figures let's say double figures 10 above if you get double figures you'll go through a process in the prison system you get re-categorized a b c d open conditions home leaves did i missed that section out he refused all our section for me so i was released from solitary confinement so i was released from a block straight into the police police science gps tracker took to black pain and then that i just become anti-social from there on it destroy me mentally do you not trust anybody did you even know no one can't even trust myself do you reckon i left you with a trash issues innovative day of course yeah but i think everyone learns you know everyone learns sooner or later that trust is given too easily now and people give respect to ease you know every every sort of moral angle is given easily now it's not earned so people used to earn your respect now they take it do you understand what i'm saying yeah so everything's just becoming so loose and so up in the air you can see everything's up in the air do you think um obviously i know doing a long time some people do two years three years whatever do you think the prison system itself though is just [ __ ] yeah the prison system creates um career criminals basically if you've got if you've got a child that goes into the system of 40 and i guarantee you that child is going to be unless he gets some serious intervention he's going to be a career criminal yeah and it works both ways he's going to be in and out of prison all the time all the shareholders that run these prisons they're going to be getting wages you see what they've done and what they've managed to do over the last decade they've they've managed to make the justice system just as powerful as the bank of england that's my so so what do i mean by that there's that much money involved in the justice system there's that much employment there's millions employed by the justice system if the justice system is the collapse so with the economy yeah they've known that for years haven't they so right i saw these private prisons when you're born you're given a number yeah the first time you enter an establishment or a custodial setting whether that's social care or whatever you're given a number yeah and that number sticks with you right through your custodial career so i've had the same number allowing to me from the age of 14 when i first went to prison to me last prison sentence it's the same number you don't it yeah yeah so you know i watched um i must have watched a podcast are you saying something on a video before and resonated so much as well like i believe the same thing how these kids who come in at 14 15 they're giving their tv they're happy they're watching car eastenders whatever they're watching and you were saying about reading books now i totally agree with you like how it dumbs them down so that's exactly what it was brought in for me that's the only reason the bottom line is this the prison system when i first started going you had to piss in a pot you had no telly you got so much exercise so much gym and access to the library three times a week yeah right so i learned to read and write in prison not in a classroom in myself self-taught yeah because um now back then if an officer like they do comes in hung over [ __ ] off his medication or whatever takes it takes it because it happens yeah of course takes it out on a mate on another inmate twisters them up to the half the london would protect the inmate yeah yeah they've brought the telly's in as a leverage if you help your mate we'll take a see yeah but they didn't bring that rule and until you'd all had the telly for two or three months so you don't get addicted to it you're watching this tonight yeah and then i'll take your telly off yeah and that's what it burns but that was the control angle on the other angle they don't want prisoners getting out educated with the qualifications to go and get employment so the minute you put a telly in them they're getting educated in virtual [ __ ] it's not reality anything you see on the telly it's not reality of course you know it's imaginary do you understand where i'm coming from yeah mobile phones how many times you pick your phone up in a day boom boom boom they're feeding your brain with something something addictive about dopamine in prison you're probably sat there you've got nothing there right so you know what the telly's weighing on in prison guaranteed every kid was coming out there and was speaking like a professor because he's read that much no choice you can string a conversation out like the next man who's been in education for 20 years he's later than a year why because he's been reading books so did you tell he's coming books go missing they even got to the point a few years ago where they banned books getting posted in yeah they've stopped newspapers there was a big upload about me and reversed off it and now your a lot of books sent back in you know because it it's needed you don't get knowledge off the telly it's all fictional if i tell you it doesn't matter if it's attenborough's mouth or his mouth it's all fictional and imaginary it's like when you come out the womb as you're growing up you you shouted after lying stop lying to me put the minute out your room you're getting sold there's a fat man that can come down your chimney and deliver her in presents father christmas i'm sorry to break your heart kids but there's no father christmas and your mum and your dad have been lying to you since you were one at the same time slapping you because you're lying to them do you understand what i'm saying but that that's entering you into a world of that stem in your brain to imagine things like social constructs of imagination yeah so it's constructing your mind from gekko we've got a fat man that comes down a chimney we've got a bunny rabbit that runs around at eastern delivers eggs we've got a fairy that leaves money under your pillow this is all virtual imaginary to keep your kids like do you understand where i'm going where it's like part of the conditioner as they grow up they want to dumb you down they just want you to believe in that and not focus on the real truth everything's a lie like i said before what is the biggest secret in the world what is it of course there's a god bro that's what i believe in no well what i'm saying is before before i when i said when i said to you before what's the biggest secret no one knows it there's a god and what did i say no one knows the biggest secret in the world because it's a secret you know when you was in prison then obviously when you um got better when the tvs came in was you still like now i don't care about my tv with your stores and books i suppose i was a cleaner i think it was 16. i'd just been put onto the other wing like 16 to 18 and because we were clean as they give us the ours was the first landing to get the telly's in the system and the telly's we got down was like little snide paws with ellie with c2 everything was see too all the wires yeah you could just see everything so you couldn't stash nothing in there oh yeah yeah but the aerials have to give you with your [ __ ] what was it so you were watching you were watching like the telly with z but you're still pushing oh yeah i got it yeah as you would as a kid as you would just watch you don't realize what it's doing to you then do you you don't really you realize what they're doing to you but you go with the flow yeah because it's just making your life comfortable in prison if you're not if you're a nuisance in prison what was the first prison you went to well the first type of custodial setting i went in was dice more like tom kids yeah kids home yeah and then from there as i said as soon as you enter the system yeah you're in there you're making people a lot of money every year and you don't even realize it every day you're pretty cool aimed down there's getting five grand off yeah you don't even realize it have you always lacked authority is that like how you were brought up like what was it he was raised no like we were like we were disciplined harsh in our house was by the dad but we was all so disciplined not to talk to police not to talk to social workers if they knocked on the door yeah not to talk to schools when you're going to school don't tell the school like you're getting [ __ ] tired to the bed so it was like stay away from them sort of um officials type people so you were proper anti-authority still on as much now because now as you've as you mature and as you grow older you come to realize although they are dirty not all of them although they've got a pocket of dirty police in every establishment and every in every force up and down the country there's a pocket of dirty police that makes us from the council of states think that they're all rats yeah and they're all corrupt and they're all batteries on the streets when they won't but they're all deity to me because that's the way i'm raised that's the way of being conditioned but i'm also old enough now to know that they have got the work they do on our streets to protect our people is paramount without them we're not surviving yeah yeah without it we would be now it doesn't matter it doesn't matter if the environment's being made for us to rely on the priests to protect us it's just the way it is without them there imagine how many robberies how many rapes how many house burglaries how many kids are getting kidnapped how many places would be bearing to the ground if it weren't for them standing on the front line protecting the masses because that's what you're doing it um so you had a mental authority yeah you know not even to lead the conversation into something like this negative but you mentioned about how you were brought up like tied to the bed like what did you get me like you mentioned that like well that's what that's uh that's what man and danny's childhood was like you know we were tired to the beds locked in rooms whipped with belts no stuff like this um not fit just everything that i'm thinking millions of us millions of us have gone through yeah i don't think this is special to why we've been i'm thinking loads of households around liverpool have gone through what we've gone through as kids they might have got as severe but they got i think it was that it was that generation of dads yeah no nonsense dads used to give you a good smack yeah no it is obviously my dad was on the nonce level you know my dad was pervaded i'm not ashamed to say my dad i've been non-tendencies he never announced us but he knew nothing was happening to us you know so when we were confronted by somebody else it's like he was getting paid and when we didn't do and go where he wanted to go we'd get [ __ ] belted because we [ __ ] his graft up or something do you understand what i mean wow oh my god so there's been a there's been occasions where he has talked us to places and in one this one occasion i've both hooked that's horrendous mate now i speak about this stuff and i get all these haters um amplifying it he's being announced he's a victim there's thousands of victims like me yeah of course i'm just brave enough for strong enough to get up here and go listen don't be sitting there alone what happened to their fellow you letting shots off [Laughter] you just i'm just able enough and strong enough to go you know what don't be ashamed if someone's a [ __ ] if an adult affected you ask you a child your fault that this adult took [ __ ] a liberty with you don't sit there feeling ashamed like you've done something wrong it's all the adults and that's what you're seeing now is the kids turning on adults you're not getting a 15 year old killing a 15 year old these days you're getting a 15 year old shooting dead at 30 year old or you're getting 4 14 year old stabbing to death a 45 year old it's kids turning on adults now because why adults have been harming kids for decades she's on you're the first not all adults have you got any kids there yeah so do you raise them how do you discipline your kids then well my kid's only four yeah yeah yeah congratulations yeah he's thinking about saul quintus's name i i was seeing something about the way you've named him as well because of the fifth it's all to do with the fifth class he's all numbers yes it's all my number five it's like hell five alive where did l5 alive come from i'm out of prison being out of prison 18 months soon as my license is up go back to my mum's house i'm ruffling a few feathers in the area people are getting a bit worried because i'm and someone tries to kill me pounces on me master this is on the 17th of 17th of march 218. people people pounce on me on the step get me made next to me in a taxi put him in hospital and i go straight back in off me as soon as it's all happened i've gone straight back in don't worry people i'm still alive i'm five i'm still alive and that's where all father lives come from you know just stemmed off them how did they try and kill you what they will they go and straight up just to try to shoot you in there what's happened is i got set up by the kid who ends up getting shot so this kid had been with me all day he's got me to the destination and he's come in the house with me and walked out and got him a taxi that should have been me getting in a taxi so his mates pounced on him filled him up and and i was i survived what did he die no he survived because they stopped halfway when they realized it was they stopped instead of carrying on watch stop shooting whoa karma two men with your anger is that on the estate you was from then growing up is on this did that happen on your estate yeah that's happened on me martial state called the garage dealership yeah so it was like before i went to jail that incident with craig there's four of us in the car and he comes to me mars come on we saw him only 24 23 at this point when this is going on come on go to the mars there's four of us in the galaxy come out the galaxy my little brother recognizes the car with a slice off so i've said slammy he slammed it reversed and as we're looking at the car the gunman's jumped out and let her shut off at the passenger window i've told my brother to go he's let the clutch out too fast so we're stalled on the spot now so this gunman's ran out to the window filling me little mate up who's in the passenger seat we'd only just swap seats we just swapped cities on it so we go into my mars i've told it okay to dive and drive in the front i want to go down in the back soon come back also the gunman's targeted the passenger seat no for me so that's what it was that i was in that was messy within a month i'm in prison doing an 18-year prison sentence so did you react did you did you straight away actually awaited you no nonsense i never thought yeah that's it you saw the emotions well this is what happens and this is what's happening now with a lot of kids doesn't matter new wales london birmingham you don't think you're just you get emotional and you want to commit revenge and you want you want to retaliate because we're this gang and he's killed our thing and you all get emotional he's all smoking weeds all on the liquor and you don't know what you're doing you don't know what you're doing you're getting caught up in this energy where you where it's a gang energy now it's not just my energy it's everyone's energy singing on the same him so it becomes powerful and it's very hard to get away from it's like peer pressure people call it peer pressure it's the energy it's driving you towards it now when you're on it and then once you retaliate your life's finished your life's over it doesn't get better yeah you might have got justice for your mate if you want to call it justice but your whole life changes for everyone that was involved in the retaliation everyone that got involved in the revenge act the conspiracy to react to it he's all get put in jail or he's all good it's just a messy so the comes back to choose our life another knife again when you're in that mindset when you're getting emotional when your bird's done your editing and you're feeling like a baby just gather yourself bring all your energy back into yourself calm your mind down and just think twice don't go and slap her don't go and stab him don't go and bear in the house don't go into the just sit tight it and think about what your next course of action is because that next course of action have you gone sorry but have you got any advice for people that's in that position now how would they get out because like what you're saying the peer pressure obviously it's hard to get out you could just tell someone like don't do it but if you've got any like advice that's what i'm saying what do you mean to to probably when you're in the height of that is any strategies or is it is there's only one strategy and it worked for me and this is why i promote the message now i was an emotional wreck the knife stared i'm ready to go choose a life popped up and i'm thought about it just choose your life what more do you need to know if i'm emotional now and i'm drunk you're winding me up but he said to me i choose life not a knife i just go do you think it took for you to have do you think it took for you to have a an 18-year prison sentence time on your own what would you do like meditating all that sort of thing chilling out you just need a time to realize who you are this is what i'm saying yeah on our estates i want to hear this on our estates you raised innocent the minute you come out the womb you're an innocent god's child everything about you is pure right through to your energy to your core you're pure then the environment starts attacking you with everything needles of the government's this that that that this is all you getting damaged becoming unpure as you're getting through your life i've lost the question what was the question so the question was is like you're in that situation all these social constructs people telling you to be this person product of environment how well this is what i know before when i'm saying um when your mind wonders everything can go wrong everything and you sit there and people go i'm wondering what to do with this so i wonder if i can get away with that or i wonder if i can do this it's the wondering that's getting you wrong it's the wondering that's making you unfocused it's the wondering that's knocking you off track do you understand what i'm saying don't wonder about this do it don't wonder if he's going to say anything bad about me so i better not do it do it so live your passion whatever what your message is meant to be you live there it's the same principle of the unknown wondering and being in your loan is exactly the same mate in my books do you know what i mean by you'll know like what we've discussed on the first episode who am i what am i doing everyone fears the unknown and there's the unknown it is an extreme image of the unknown your dad's on his way to where bang truck smashes him puts him in hospital you're not here enough what mindset are you in there he's dead that's what you could be thinking oh you're lost yeah your head's gone because you don't know now the minute you get a phone call he's all right you're better because you know now if you're in a relationship and you're suspecting your woman is doing something but you're not asking it you're not confirming it you're sitting there in the unknown and all it's going to do is create messy [ __ ] that you're not going to know about you don't understand what i mean i know exactly what you're saying like imagine feeling it so so wondering's the same what are you wondering for you becoming unfocused you're wondering you're wondering you're seeking for confirmation when you're wondering on you're in in a mad way i wonder what he'll say if i do this or i wonder what'll happen if i get on with this or one day you just you understand you're losing focus it's fight or flight you know you're in flight mode than you yeah you're just you're just losing focus the more you wonder the more unfocused you becoming and you start practicing unfocusedness if you understand what i mean so the more you wonder the more unfocused you become you're on there the more unfocused you become the more you practice being unfocused before you know where you just lost the more unconscious decisions you make you just become even more unconscious i don't know if you've read that it's the same that it's well it's basically the same thing yeah it is of course yeah conscious decision you've got unconscious decisions what's an unconscious decision i first heard about that in jay-z what's your unconscious decision do you do that when you're going to sneeze mm-hmm yeah and it's it's a natural thing what else you do you like it driving you know just changing you just thought you've got things that you've grown up to be used to and you just do it second to none like he just yeah what's that man where's his face when you're putting assault nakedly yeah no it's just yeah you know all right so basically it's like as you get older and you make more decisions like i'm gonna starve him i'm gonna say this to him i'm going to kill him every unconscious decision that you're making is leading up to those even bigger unconscious decisions they just become normal to you yeah you're practicing something that's not good for you so leading up to that 18 years those series of unconscious decisions what led you to end up having that 18-year sentence so what happened there is um craig's being shot like i said before jordan processed that six week process after his death everyone's emotional everyone's a ratter everyone's smoking weed drinking upset of the day i just thought i went in control of myself right then i was making decisions for revenge to understand i was making decisions to i was just like [ __ ] this let's go and get them and the people around me didn't help me instead of going swerve that lad yeah what's going on what i mean so my decision on that day to go and participate in the murder of that fella was group based and when your thought process is group-based it manifests more powerfully so you're here of a phrase called like a brainstorm let's have a brainstorm and basically what a brainstorm is what's for you topic in the middle how can we make this work it starts manifesting because there's four of us isolating it and thinking about it and when you see these big movements it's because loads of people are manifested in it it's on the lips of loads of people so when people see me going around the country and dropping leaflets everywhere and you've got the rat take so what what's that for dropping leaflets they're not realizing what i'm doing i know like i've come in touch with like energy and in order to manifest things like i was saying to you before the minute you open your mouth about you want to do weakens it it weakens it whether you like it or not it weakens the purity of it they call it a secret for a reason if you want to do something keep it a secret keep it a secret and it will manifest better i'm not i've only learned that in last year made and why valentine i don't know me i don't know where it's come from i had this experience not many many people believe me do you think it's do you think it's a joke right basically but this experience this is how it went i'm on my bed well let me bring it up to it for months and months and months i've been waking up early i was in the morning around three r3 sweating me back out like i've just done a circuit all my veins popping out on me i'm like i've just lifted weights i'm sweating i'm thinking what's happening here so i'll just get up put a towel down get back on me dry bed and go to sleep and then wake back up right but this time i've remembered i've woke up on the bed but i've remembered everything i've just gone on right so this is what happened i've come out it was announced by the experience basically i've come on my body and i'm looking at me on the bed yeah so i'm up here looking at me on the bed my body has come off the bed went like that so it's floating now have you seen that figure that body figure i'm like that and there's a there's a there's a hole like fire but it's a ring of fire right and as i've come into this ring of fire it's gray it's so real lad you've got things on the floor thing you're honest it's a tunnel and i've so so far down this tunnel you've got a blue ring like a blue ring of fire yeah and as i'm coming to that floating i started getting sucked in to this blue ring like it's like a mad four so i'm getting sucked into it and as i come up to the side i'm sorry i'm like that no i can feel oh i'm not bullshitting you mate i can feel this like my arms going back and i'm heading towards another circle like a white one and as i hit that i stopped dead but a giant comes out of me like a cloud of view don't look i hit this wall and then all of a sudden i just see like a big cloud popping up in front of me and he's like i'm watching him from behind and as he takes a few the whole room is white that thing is like a cloud of a human but massive white with a little like outline he was walking forward and then out of nowhere five others come out same sort of giant one steps forward then i wake up how do you interpret that at that moment in my life when i went through that i was about to give up on the message i don't know if i've took too much [ __ ] off rats it's not getting the recognition it needs those shows about to give up on it you know me life's going nowhere and this sort of told me i have got meaning i have got purpose i know where i'm going if you just want to get there you need to start working right you need to start conducting yourselves right so far you've probably been narrative change over the last few months where i've just been on this positive flow you need to start purifying your energy because if you don't purify your energy and you're not gonna have the strength to get where we're going 100 there's only so many of us getting to this place yeah and if you're down here sharing poison creating poison and doing all that satanism and paganism [ __ ] you're not coming where we're going because we're purified i've noticed you've been doing these paintings lately is this simple experience look you know what i just needed to get the image see the image i've just told yous that image i've just told you i needed to get it off my mind so the for weeks and weeks i'm saying go and get a canvas go and get a canvas put on the canvas put on the canvas so i just thought you know one day bam went and got it got a canvas i know i haven't stopped that's it my first image was that experience and that's what i've called it and now i've done six i've sold two no i sold two that's amazing 350 quid in australia you should set up an exhibition a charity exhibition then the plan is because when i get focused on this i get obsessed with it i've gone into mental illness so when i was on the music the music was a way of the music was a way of him expressing it but it's very violent and it was bringing back the wrong energy that i needed so when i'm spitting this madness stuff out it's coming back i can feel it all this negative energy's coming back off me lyrics so i swear my music and now i'm i'm letting my stuff out in the arts because it's colorful and i don't know where it's coming from really good you've got something to say do you know what i'm trying to say all this the painting you've got something that you want to express jugami and and that is the perfect um that's the perfect thing you know what uh you've gotta as i said before we get lost in it we get lost at an early age you know we start being a lamb you start following iconic people in your community and they're all wrong you know you're looking at the drug dealer because he's got his rolex on he's got his nice card and then you think he's got the boss birds and you just start wanting to your judgments get clouded and then from 14 to 18 they're the pivotal years where you're going to go off track in my eyes they're the times when you're getting diluted by the older generation or the negativity around you you lose sight of who you are and what you're meant to be doing the best advice i can give to any kid who's got a family because look i can sit here and give advice to that type of child but he's got a woman's adderall and that advice i'm giving him is never ever gonna work with the ears of of my man who lives two doors away from me who hasn't got a mum and the dad's on the smack who's in jail he's getting looked after by his nana it's different in it choose a life not a knife goes through it all i've got 50 year old men relating to it do you understand what i'm saying i've also got eight-year-old kids relating to it where was your mindset at they because obviously you're talking about these kids and where they're at where was your head at and your mindset and your you're being where were you at here when you when when you were participating in that situation where you were participating in a murder where was your head at and like where you know i am that was i was caught up in this gang stuff my head my head was two-pack 50 cent biggie smalls that's my head at that time and i'm acting like them do you think rap music's bad then yeah so wendy bro when rap music came out years ago you've seen the damage done people people will say no it's not the music like a drill no it's drill now it's just a new version of ra when they when they push rap out of the masses don't forget what music is we know what it's for so when when they push that when they push it out like that it was rap it was targeting the black communities look what i've done what did it do she said they're all shooting each other i've been forming into gangs add them all into form into this on the back of rap music this now you've got drill and if you look what's going on in london with that drill music it's spreading now also as well though the the drug uh the music as well now they're talking about sipping lean taking xanax so it's all gone these kids taking drugs from it as well wrong you've got you've got kids over here participating in the activities of americans where they're drinking this codeine add a little bit of fantasy and they call it lean you're basically a smackdown if you're drinking codeine aren't you made hundred percent it's opiate-based all these medications not opiate-based it's true it's derived from opiates opiates is heroin so that's why you get addicted to like cold cold emul when you go to doctors with a bad back and he goes oh there's some painkillers and you can't put them down after three months it's the opiates within the medication that you're addicted to it's saying the codeine when you can't get that bottle of coding then or that part of your island morphine you're going to score smack around the corner from there on it's all controlled you know your body like you get kids now and you get the mug on here get them three tablets and you'll be dead in a minute when your body can deal with it you know you go through that one occasion where you're back to this proper killing yet don't take your medication get over it you'll never get a toothache again in your life that'll bother you do you understand what's going on things down in me whether it's antidepressants whether it's painkillers oh i'm stressed my computer's broken stressed yeah there's a pill just deal with the stress and then you won't get stressed that easy next time you understand um when you was talking uh on your instagram and uh whatever it was one of your socials you was talking about unity um obviously i'm a big football fan most people are or they're a rugby fan or baseball fan whatever and he was talking about these teams these cities against each other can you just go over that a bit about like the uniques i think it was so strong how many football teams you got in wales um well we got cat well one cardiff all right so you've got your card straight away they just do showing the division football creates they say today with a swansea fan so you don't like swansea you're a card a fan obvious yeah so straight away you've cancelled out a thousand men from your city because they wear a swansea shirt oh no one in cardiff with this one's you uh well i know in south wales yeah you understand yeah yeah if there was a derby like liverpool and i know what you're saying is it's the same anyway up and down the land look chelsea arsenal whatever my new man city liverpool evan swansey car it doesn't matter does it what i'm trying to point out when i made that comment is this all right just say this country this will say wales did go off its cake like it did in swansea the other day say everyone just go right we've had enough who are you going to be fighting me the government or the men of swansea the government ow how can you fight the government from our angle and then fight it from that angle no i know what you're saying he's a divider yeah you are right and you're the divider for years you divided since you were born you divided through your dad and your granddad that's how long the division was put in place for it hasn't just started you know the the divide cities with football yeah all used loyal football fans might not like what i'm saying but the bottom line is football is there for division not to unite it it'll be it'll unite that gang but it's divided not gang it's like booze up the road to that booze in here that's exactly the same mentality when you've got sunday league teams and you've got the taverns playing the brunells or something and there's that division it's that on a mass scale on a mass scale so basically in liverpool you have got evans everton men who live two doors down from another man that lives in sports and they'll argue over football they'll argue over football they'll even argue amongst themselves over arsenal do you understand what i'm saying like these two scousers arguing with themselves over over something that's relevant to them yeah football dividing yeah definitely so you're from everton yeah so have you got any experiences of anfield back in the day because i've seen yes i've got all the experience yeah i need to see any of your legends yeah i've i've i've interacted with quite a few john barnes peter beasley i've had 20 quid off game soonest last class how did you get to eddie good of him so where we are at anfield's grounds like the coffee shop from our front door when we're growing up here so it's just there so we always used to play on the ground and where we are you've got extension you still have like low extensions in the back gardens so we just run across that extension i'll take chase off the house owners and that guy we're on allroy road right next to the grounds you still have the the players entrance and we always used to be on these extensions and we're just staying there having a meeting or something and on the door there we've got this fella called steve clark big fat fella used to live on out of state daddy clark's dad he used to be the bouncer so he's there and we're giving him [ __ ] yeah you know who's causing me to and that's what he comes out with some fella with a big [ __ ] muzzy's on here and a perm it's only soon first time i've seen 20 pound ultimately get this and go away no way it's amazing that's true that means do you there's another one with steven jarad as well yeah can you tell us about that yeah years later we're just floating around the area okay if they are floating around and out the blue sun go upstairs steve and gerard and we go what he's only pissed as a [ __ ] you know just pissed as a fart stood outside the 24 hour garage doesn't it's shit's open i'm just looking at us watching at me and thinking you're a [ __ ] you're a victim you like you need to get in this car he's got him in the car drop them off didn't rob him no what a sculpture yeah no you wouldn't go you would have got rats look and liverpool's the worst for them mates you know 80 to the city a lovely kid and got the models intact and you've got you've got to select 20 that'll rape your daughter kick your front door and rub the watch off your grandad's wrist cut his neck for a chain notes all this dirty nasty stuff unless you got everywhere you obviously love your city um you're obviously not living there at the moment do you want to go back home like do you want to want to live yeah i'll be back there mate i haven't left no my body's left me energy is all over yeah well of course it is just ours the energy is all over liverpool uh my energy is pure so it travels far when when you um leaving liverpool going to prison what was um what was the feeling like of when you were stood in court and they were like they sentenced you were like and then you were going there what was that whole thing like what was going through your head like when they said you're going down for 18 years well i was getting told you're getting 35 years so it was a time so in my mind so say i get arrested 2004 i'm in custody for just under three years on remand no convictions just on remand so during them three years i condition me mind and today i'm doing the 30 whilst i'm on remand i've already put it in my head i'm getting a 30 you're honest so your mind's a powerful thing mate your mind can overcome everything it's poured in front of it without substance misuse the minute you start using substances to overpower your brain that's when you're going wrong that's when addictions form and that's when you start going down a downward spiral because they can't handle it the pressure your brain's given to you if you if you deal with that pressure not many people have felt the numbness of the brain the people that have felt the numbness in the brain or know what i'm referring to right now if you felt that numbness in your brain at them depressive times and then moments you're entering places in your brain that no one else has entered and it's making you different it's giving you something unique that no one else has got i've been to that dire hall a few times and felt that numbness a few times it's not a bad thing yeah it's not a bad thing if you were doing 30 plus years like what were you thinking like oh my god like i'm actually doing so when i'm getting sold by my legal team this is borderline contract killing so the judge is looking on giving you a 30 to 35 recommendation that that was mandatory for the crime yeah so where am i i'm i'm settling in my mind i'm getting a 30 now what do i want to do here do i want to carry on smoking weed carry on doing this [ __ ] carry on doing this [ __ ] and then get out when i'm 60 not even able to have a hard one this is what's going through my mind when i'm when i'm getting sentenced what do you mean like when you said well we're not getting a how do i want to get out at the end of this this is what it's like right do i want to get out pissing a bed like most 55 year old men that are full of stress and can't look after themselves yeah because this is what happens at later years no one realizes you don't know or do i want to get out i'm still full of energy skin looking young you know do you want to stop smoking the weed do i want to educate the brain to want to keep myself shaft do i want to get out the other side of this fitting strong and able to [ __ ] a woman and that's the life i chose you look ten times better no then i see i know everyone's mug shots are bad but i've only seen a mug shot of you from when you've denied yeah you're dollars to know like i'm not photogenic if you're saying i like a million bucks so you were studying me what so obviously right you know you've done 18 years you thought you was going to do it you've done the 18 touch in your eyes maybe you went in 2004 so you're touching my eyes mate no big touch big touch yeah of course so you can think about think about um think about it i'm sat there for three years put it in my head that i'm never getting out of prison and when i'm doing what i'm in my 60s it's there i've accepted there i'm living my life like i'm never getting out of prison yeah to all of a sudden i have a release date person you know so when the judges came around to me and said um your crime was committed pre-2004 so you're under the old law so right now all my legal team and everyone well i'm saying i'm under the new law and i'm getting 30 to 35 right now the judge has shocked everyone when i've been found guilty and go you're under the old law and i've got two choices a discretionary life sentence or a long determinist sentence discretion license if discretionary life is if he thinks you're a threat to the public and you've committed crimes left right and center you can life you off yeah discretion with life under the old law if not he'll give you long determinant so we looked at my previous so my previous violence offence was against the prison officer and that was a threat towards a prison officer where they said bernie outstanding but because the house never got burnt down the judge said they were in a threat that's why i'm giving me a long detain in a sentence of 18 years so it's gone from 35 right to one go on a minute i've got a release date here in 12 years i can be free to look forward to it so you can imagine the elation i was company all over the cells but obviously a month later a letter comes through the door they're not happy that appealing they want the l plates so they it went to the attorney general but do you say in general [ __ ] them off you know when he was in there then yeah so sorry going back to her trying to say um so obviously blackberries come out iphones have come out the technology's changed facebook now you're all over social media at the moment like how did you adapt from that because obviously when you was in here i had a little tag i have an adapter when i went to prison none of this was robbed i've come out of prison and the only thing about to keep me company is a phone and social media so i'm living through my phone i tell you's the phone you know i'm in this ultimate no electricity but i managed to charge my phone up in the gym when i go to gym so i'm living through my phone here on here so it's just oh i just ended up on instagram i'm just being myself on instagram i'm just being myself and everyone's latching onto it they like me personality they like my character but when people start to like me me old enemies are hating it yeah you know 20 years ago 221 enemies for nothing leave it behind no get off me back i've got pure people trying to drag me back into that what's that consciousness i'm above them that's the bottom line here i'm above them and i've only just realized i'm above them in energies and moral capacity and the level of thinking i'm just above them all so why do we even entertain them anymore so if you stopped entertaining them all you on it you know there was a mad saying a mad quote that i read once and they said um you know it's like it's something like um you know people you were close with back then sort of they struggle and they hate you because they can't see how you've managed to do what they can yeah that's what i'm saying it's um you know it's so true i'm making a lot of people envious yeah of course man there's a lot of kids out there who haven't got the balls to change themselves the way i have it takes a lot for you to turn your back on a life that is painful but easy just know what i mean by that the gang life is very painful but easy easy in the sense of financially your money's just coming through yeah and everything's sweet and you're not asked because you're making dough but the pain that you suffer as you're going through that's that stuff it's just um i'd rather be skinned and painless you know instead of a millionaire i'm full of pain what um so your personal trainer watching your videos oh i'm a good trainer you know he's all good tuned you're flat out you're looking quite hench and whatever do you train people i encourage people to train i motivate people to train i inspire people to train i don't get paid for when i'm giving them that information like the majority are just money grabbing people yeah i'd love to i can train anyone give me give me 12 weeks with anyone i will have you in a decent condition but the risk towards me brings risk towards them yeah of course so if i've got you in a park with me monday wednesday and friday morning people will find out and say on the wednesday morning they come for me they might get you so to prevent that sort of stuff happening i just pull away from it um funding there's no funding going for this now is it no funding off this mess i i've got a www.telfaboriginal.com that's a clothing line but i don't focus on it because the amount of money choose a life not a knife receives to the amount of money the fella receives who's producing the t-shirts and stuff it's not it's not sitting good with me so i'm not focusing on it you don't know yeah the um the l5 gears i knew out of hatch you said in there is it burning yeah it's all there all that stuff's there but it's all about kalnak uk now it's it's the same thing choose a life not a knife but what you're going to see in the future is this on clothing nice so what is what is that's where i'm going with this i think you've gone on a lot of podcasts you've gone on a lot of shows you know not gonna name any names and stuff like that and and it has an ended up turning out negative and it has ended up turning uh you know turning out to be you know there's been a lot of hate and stuff like that and um when we when what we wanted to do by bringing you here wasn't to do that we wanted you to basically you know tell your story um and go in depth um as as possible and talk about really what you're willing to talk about without trying to sound like we're hounding you about it you know what i mean but there's people out there who want to know more briefly about your journey and more about like you know the the things that you've seen and stuff what i need to do basically is sit down and have a two-hour interview with someone or two and a half hour interview with someone where to go from there to the deep this is more like yes it's interview yeah cool it's it's not it's not it's not therapy yeah of course now if the situation was more therapy based then you'd be getting a lot a lot of deep emotions coming through yeah it's the environment we're in and the questions that'll be answered that you're not touching that fire yeah of course yeah it nee i need to go in a deep state of emotions and then let it all out and then that's when you're gonna get the the yeah fire yeah of course that's kind of what we were you know that's why we brought you on yesterday really it's more because we won we never really touched it though did we i mean we touched on you know i'll give you a brief but it was a brief a minute about that day a minute about this year i mean about that when raleigh you'd like a book well i'm right i'm doing a book i've been currently being writing a book i've had a ghostwriter she's gone missing the book's delay but she's gone missing it was meant to be released on the 21st of june it's a pre-order on amazon loads of people have ordered but it's not going to get done i haven't got the ability to get it done i haven't got the mat i just can't get it done i mean i just need to be putting the words onto the paper and go go so it's just literally the funding that's all you need i haven't got i haven't got the i just haven't got the i've got the ability but i just haven't got the patience to do it no more do you understand what i mean yeah i can't be bothered as well i'm not after your money people i i'm not here to sell you a booth to make money office you know what people have encouraged me to write a book that's why i'm thinking about writing right you've never thought i'm no i'm no big important person i think i should get a book out i'm not important enough for people to read my book that's my mindset obviously yeah you have gone through quite a mad story though and pete is it like what we're doing this for mental health for that it's relatable stories like that is what help people in those positions are people who are watching this and have messaged us about you know i was suicidal where you know there are people who have been suicidal messaging us and stuff like that and have said this is inspiring me and um you know i don't know how you felt in prison during that time or how it relates to you because the suicide rate in wales is the highest in europe bro so you know like i remember me i remember when i was in prison and i was up here actually it was in par prison and there was an episode in wales think of it i'm not sure i'm not sure and there was it's like something happened like seven or eight suicides on the back of each other yeah so i was thinking wow but what you're not hearing now is because everyone's caught up in army jobs thousands have committed suicide in the last two years all ages male female the amount of kids that are self-harm is through the roof you understand what i'm saying and we're not even not even at the thick of it we're not even at the thick of it everyone's got to be unlocked fully soon and that's when you're going to see the real damage to what's going on through this lockdown everyone sort of gets in the wrong little area sorted out today becomes relaxed gets the man sorted in a certain frame and then all of a sudden bang it's got to jump into another frame it's going to jump into another mindset and that's when stuff's going to go crazy so you know the police now up and down the country oh crime's low gun crimes down made the crimes down raped because we've been locked down we've been locked down that's why it's slow not because you're doing a good job do you understand what i'm saying here as soon as everyone's unlocked watch out watch out worse the crime is compared to what it was two years ago watch how violent it is watch how frequent it is watch out more visible it's become you're on it so that's what you're going to witness over the next year as soon as one the unlocks meant to be on the 21st june and a full unlock from then to christmas there's going to be murder well summertime in it you know everyone's going to be out it's going to be made and i mean literally up and down a country you've got people with disputes that need settling there's been a lot of drug money took out the picture in the last and a lot there's a lot of serious organized crime going to be in the streets in the next couple of years why is it that you know of course you've got this uh yeah yeah charity that we you're pushing heavily why is it that you you know um you you're not looking for the support of the police or why is it that that you're so against that because i heard you on an interview saying that like i'm not against i'm not against the support of the police mates i know you keep on enemy the police the police the police but you've got to understand what the police are like in liverpool even from your own personal experience what happened to where they framed you well this is what i'm saying so let's look let's put the police into context in liverpool right am i going to put it the police in liverpool will go through your door they will put drugs on you they'll put bullets on you and we'll batter you till you're bruised and you're damaged we'll drag you out the house they'll put you in jail they'll take you to court they'll put you on trial the y in court the light on oath in front of the biggest children liverpool and then they'll be found guilty of lying perjury collude and conspiring to pervade the course of justice this is what merseyside police do they've done that with me older brother billy it's [ __ ] how corrupt made your side pleases that's just one incident i'm telling you now there's easy 50 incidents a year of corrupt policing in merseyside you just don't hear about it so when i'm screaming the police are corrupt i'm screaming about merseyside police i'm not screaming about south wales please or or derbyshire police or anything like that i'm coming off my experience from this police force and from the early age where i've had policemen better than me putting items on me and locking me in a cell for nothing no one can tell me that the police force isn't corrupt i understand what i mean so i don't as i said before the police have a vital role in this country whether we like it or not whether you're a gang banger or you're not you've got a vital role when i start shouting dirty please i'm on about side messy side please not every police officer on the land because even even in meredith's side please you've got some real decent scouse men proper family men from liverpool who work within the police force and they're genuine and they hate but tolerate what's going on in their ranks because it's that type of group and it always has been that type of group protect our own you know what it's like that group mentality it's like on the streets when you see these gangs operating with protect our own you damned it's the same in every group set up protect our group there's a matter of your lord abide no no the motto's the same protect our group secure our unity and that's what that's what and that's what they do at any cost hence hillsborough hence hillsborough let's look at hillsborough now bro they've been hiding not on us for over 30 years not giving us their proof not giving us the truth not admitting the faults and before we can get anyone brought to justice like norman betterson to retire from the force on full pay can't be prosecuted but it's [ __ ] that he was going around dropping statements you know indicating that it was the liverpool fans that done all the damage when it wasn't it was the police that done the damage do you understand what i mean scousers will never forget it even last week they tried to push under the carpet there's a new breed of scousers that will not let that go of course and if we don't get the justice that we want this new breed of scousers will show you and it won't be it won't be an immunization protest or it won't be all council tax protest it won't even be a protest it'll just be the city of liverpool council getting smashed to pieces if we don't get justice because you're all right standing on the steps andy burnham like you're doing is proud but you're a counsellor you're an mp you piss in the same pot as them bastards that labeled us all liars and said we were robbing the dead you still haven't done nothing you're getting all the athletes standing up there shouting this shouting now but you're not doing nothing for us we'll take it by the neck and we'll show that government in london exactly what scouses are like and we won't take a slap for it we'll take a broken neck for it that's what scouts do we won't tolerate your [ __ ] no more we want justice if we don't get it for what we need it for you aren't going to rest easy for decades the new generation of scousers will show this government exactly what we're all about do you know london is not even the uk in what sense london is not the uk did you know the queen has not got sovereignty over london was it the city of westminster something like that no london is classed as an international city it's not classed as the uk what that's mad i didn't know that well you know now the queen has got no sovereignty in london none it's classed as international what do you think that is like is that like some sly move there they're just things they haven't told us yeah yeah it's like london is the biggest corrupt financial department in the whole world laundering billions pounds worth of drug money it's not part of the uk though that's [ __ ] i'm not spitting nothing that's not factory you don't understand what i'm saying london is not part of the uk it's clashed as international territory we haven't even got no all our money that comes from us and ends up in london is going international we don't even own it we've got no financial department in london do you know that it's all mad this is what i'm saying that's awesome yeah definitely powerful man i was shocked [Laughter] back to worlds um people outside the city of liverpool might have rarely related with the way scousers do no but we were raised on a statement where you know friends dads never came back and we've seen the hate and the pain and the destruction what them liars have done you know they we never just rested in peacemates he got blamed for robin but all the people we got blamed him why to protect the police in their [ __ ] why because the police made dirty mistakes and covered it up i feel like every like five years there's like a resurgence of it but they still haven't got an answer from it we're not going to get an answer from it unless they realize i'm gone it's gone too far i will be a political prisoner thousands of us will on the back of this if we don't get justice for this so is this something in the pipeline is there something in the pipeline coming soon this isn't going to go away until this it's only been calmed down the last two years because we are disinquiry that enquiry we haven't we still want it yeah it's not going nowhere you know our kids are getting raised and taught about the injustice the police and the governments have done to us you're automatically hating them it's not just that you've got the riots you've got facts you're stopping this you've got liverpool's being targeted a lot by the government and we're still getting started now with the only place in the country that army issuing vaccines we had the army on the streets of liverpool they're scared obviously it is what it is because we know liverpool is a different breed it is we will stand up and we will take it to the government on a different level i don't want to start going militarized here and start speaking all militants i've stopped i've stopped watching football mates from liverpool so passionate about your city yeah of course man yeah to not be did you realize that when you came out of prison now i've knew this for years but i've just tolerated it yeah and now my mindset's changed it's like i'm going if we want to make a difference you've got to stop fighting yeah what's making us fight and i'm just identifying the things the same thing football you know you'll have you'll have a top fighter from there and a tough fighter from there it's only one man each one each but he's got 5 000 followers and he has and they're divided just off that one man power of one man dividing them ten thousand men now imagine then ten thousand men together you cannot you cannot fight something this powerful this governments with fractions what do you think of the cov lockdown then do you think there was you know people call this their theories and i did you believe there was a another motive to it it's just the pursuit of technology in my eyes when we close down now when we come back there's going to be what you mean it's going to be vastly well yeah what do you mean well um pursue the technology mate what in developments yeah so now this has all got through this is all filtered too we've lost masses we've done whatever but the ones that survived it are going to get access to some crazy [ __ ] like bitcoin you talking about that stuff no no that's just going to crash that's going to make a lot of people dependent on the government's in about 20. they're trying to make a one world currency it's just going to crash it's that that's there to crash money you see years ago you see the stock market used to be backed by gold so a pound would be backed by gold so you could go and sell a bar of gold and get your two pound back and back yeah now it's not crypto currency is backed by nothing just to load the numbers when it clashes it crashes you can't go and get the gold and revalue it do you understand what i'm saying when people lose their computers and i like that guy you had like [ __ ] how much do you have on there he had a quarter of a million pounds lost his computer in a tip in wales couldn't get it back yeah he was offering people easier it is right but that's not safe is it it's not safe because the people who are controlling your money now he's all thinking i was a private company crypto has nothing to do with that government disc government government it's governments that's controlling it all right so everyone's just putting the money into the cost of the government and then what happens if a satellite goes missing yeah it's just like that computer going missing exactly the same as that computer going on this only this got billions in it not just this money it's got everyone's money in it gone what can you do government's telling you we've had a bad mistake it's all gone we've lost 10 billion that government's lost and all users have lost we're all in it together new currency that's my opinion i i can't remember who it was um i seen someone saying um about the crypto and it was like if you found out who was the uh owner of bitcoin you go nowhere near it as if like you know the car you made is some slimy guy they're all slimy aren't they well let's look at them and look at google do you think rich people are bad then like you were like against capitalism like is that sort of thing like do you hate people who are like mega rich like jeff bezos i i hate people i hate people that are materialistic amen you can be rich meat but if you're materialistic you're different rich you're a different rich i'm rich i'm richer than anyone in this room yeah i feel like yeah anything i've got inner wealth that can fill 10 banks you don't you might be sat there with a million pound and you're bank but you're in a well that's 20 mates doesn't matter how much money you've got on the bank you're 20 for me your money doesn't influence you it shouldn't it shouldn't influence yeah we weren't born now no one really understands inner wealth inner wealth do you know what inner wealth is give me a few examples of inner wealth well of course like inner peace bro like being in having inner peace do you get me which is one of my favorites that's what that's what my faith brings me to the inner peace so your faith is islam speak yeah us about it then what's the what's the core message of course it's um you know submission is uh sort of like that's what admits that's why i'm yeah of course you're following uh the rituals it's like a what is a religion a religion is just a ritual of things you know if you're a say you run a gang you have a ritual of things that's like a religion you know you get your drugs you do your thing you act a certain way your character is a certain way loads of different types of religions you've got buddhism this time whatever but it's a ritual of things that you do in a day in order for you to function correctly and find that inner peace that you want find contentment find love like you're talking about you're trying to find love all i wanted to do was experience love and be able to show love to other people do you know what i'm trying to say and that's what my religion brings me that's through carrying out those acts and rituals that i do every day this is very brief by the way but it allows me to share love it allows me to share love with individuals and you know and and um so is it love and peace then of course man yeah definitely without that but a lot of people say how can you say it's peaceful when there's a lot of violence around in it of course um what you've got to understand is like the word of god to proclaim something as the word of god is a powerful powerful thing when you say this book here is the word of god that's a powerful thing and for somebody to then say well i've got the best interpretation i know what it means and i'm gonna tell you how to enact that now if that guy's got a bad agenda no no forget that if you if i've got a bad agenda and i'm using that powerful thing that i and you all believe is the word of god to do what i want you to do what's that going to do it's going to influence your soul or your heart to do the things that i want you to do do you get me that's what happens it's the same with any religion it's the same with the christians down in africa it's the same with buddhism you know when they were burning and killing people it's the same thing you get a couple of um wrongans uh with bad agendas who who push their agenda and use the word of god to be able to influence you i'm with that mate i'm with that but i'm definitely with that mate so that's the answer to your question islam the core messages peace and unity peace and you like you say which is it's just crazy that we're going on today because i had a question for you because where time is getting on and i do want to ask you this yeah you're big into unity i see you always saying and you even said in your video that you know islam was the power how the power and the strength in prisons how do you think as a human race yeah what do you think we need to do going forward as a collective and what tips would you give basically to to bring that those elements to the human race what would you do what would i do to bring peace not in islam i don't mean like that like but the same like unity and love and connection would you do yeah what would i do to bring us all together yeah this the first thing is find common cause you need a common cause if you haven't got a common cause it's pointless coming together so for instance if uh hypothetically speaking both have an enemy we've got a common cause here do you understand it works better but if there's an enemy not everyone's going together it doesn't need to be an enemy though yeah it needs to just be agenda bro like it needs to be yeah yeah it can be an agenda it could be like right every agenda peace love like less every agenda is wrong you're doing something it's an agenda you're deliberately manipulating yeah like why do you want to set this up why do you want to set it up and you want to inspire people i want i want to this is basically i'm looking at it so i i can become um militarized quite easily so when i'm thinking when i'm talking about univision and talking about what i'm about to start saying so you know it's with an enemy in mind so uh the government is an enemy do you think yeah i think it would be i think now you don't think that no let me finish but there's ten of you that do you understand what i'm saying so there's more people in this country that to believe the governments are harming them than helping them well more i think there's a big gray area there in most sense well i don't think it's all bad i think there are people all right let me put it this way let me put it this way then for you yeah those scruffy people and there's millions of us in this country those people that are fed properly those people are raised in households that's violence with drugs and drink all of us believe the governments have been hurting them for a long time and there's millions of us the only thing that's dividing us of religion um no what i think what i think the problem is you think the religion divides you i think people can get too deep in it for sure but if you look at forget the name of it look at look at the principles bro you get me it's a set of principles not even rituals rituals of the physical thing but it's a principle it's your character yeah exactly your character your character yeah how you conduct yourself and carry yourself that should your why is love you want to do it because you love everyone you want everybody to love each other but your character is the thing that you know you need to improve you start at where you start in life we said this on the other episode but it's up to you to change your character it's your experience that gets you because yeah it's up to you what choices you make to have those experiences obviously yeah but you get some experience that you just started your fault you might be able to having a nice nightmare and all of a sudden you're great that's true yeah of course yeah it's true so it's experience that creates the character i know it's obviously the character that's going to carry himself in it the point i'm making is this unity in war is different than unity in a game of football you know what i mean now when i start talking about univision that's just the community coming together put all differences aside color race police univision let's look after the youth let's protect the children you know it does because everything goes deeper it never stops to snowball so really so you're saying yeah to answer my question that i had for you originally your answer is is we need to come together as a collective forget whatever we whatever's going on because all of us are social construct there's a load of rubbish we need to come together and the ultimate y needs to be we need to respect each other come together and actually look to you know okay we've got our issues put them aside how can we better humanity how can we better our current situation as a collective we're lost in a long long line of history mate right we're born into a plan that's been existent before we were even conceived we haven't got a clue we get brought out into this image and we think that's the way it is and we have done for ages everyone's starting to realize i'm going we're working and dying you know no one's shouting about it people are just awakening to what's going on the nine to five rat race yeah what dave addison what they've conditioned in you've got to eat at eight you've got to eat to 12 you've got to eat a five you've got to eat at eight and then go to bed at 10. that's why we're conditioned from an early age it's conditioned yeah do you understand it's not it's not normal to be doing what we've just done for the past 40 years and now we're realizing it and the ones that i realize are telling the kids you don't need to eat at that time that's why you're seeing kids now having a t7 o'clock at night yeah that's what it is so on a grand scheme of things it's all about like getting rid of the social constructors all i try and like choose a life not a knife it can work in your community you can work in there can we anywhere choose a life not life is a message that's penetrating every mind it doesn't matter what your beliefs are you're still relating to my message choosing a message choose a life not the knife what's the knife mean the knife's an umbrella it's not just a knife it's an umbrella thing don't batter birds don't wreck that old woman's house you know the morals that's gone in the last 15 years on your estate where an old woman could come out of the house and go to the shop now if you're scared to come out once it's dark this is the type of stuff i'm targeting why are our communities so full of fear because of 10 drug dealers why are our communities got police flying up and down all the time people getting shot left right and center because that drug dealers fell out with that drug dealer you need to come together you need to come together to solve the problem if you can't solve it what's the best way to solve that issue there they need the people like you really they're trying to outcast you yeah but they need to become speaking the truth back in history i'm not picking myself up here i'm not asked i'm not in it for money but they need the people like you in those rooms speaking to them exactly why because it's truth the bottom line is it's truth and if you speak truth there's a lot of fake people out there and they don't like hearing the truth especially when it's aimed at them and if you're sitting around this table and in your mind thinking it's okay for drugs to be sold to a 15 year old or it's okay for that 18 year old to be cocaine given to it every [ __ ] week so that 40 year old man can have sex with her if you think that's all right you're just as bad as them you're one of them you're one of them people that's staying at that level you're not at this level of consciousness you're not thinking straight if you're if you're down there thinking it's normal for your kids to go into school where someone's being shot up outside the school you're stupid it's not normal but loads of people are going through life like this is just the way it is just look at the pursuit we need a higher perspective yeah we do as a collection yeah there's only so many people who are achieving it at the moment so really would you recommend then so one of the things you probably recommend maybe is have some time to yourself like actual just stillness be on your own like like you were in prison it was easier for you because you had the opportunity to do that you know when you're by yourself and what what people seem to do maybe they seem to turn as soon as they're in a bit of trouble get on the phone no one's dealing with it no one's dealing with the [ __ ] they're always relying on someone to help them in some sort of or something or something to help them get over it instead of just like going through that depressive mindset going through that pain you've just lost your wife for 10 years it's going to ruin you how much energy you've just lost in one hit all that energy you've put into that woman has just gone it's going to take your time to replenish your energy the energy that needs to be going in there is the good energy but if you're sitting there thinking oh i'm never going to survive i'm never going to do it it comes back because you don't tell people you'd only tell the people you're going to do and i'm going to achieve so it never manifests you never tell the people um i'm feeling stressed out to you i'm feeling destroyed and sad you're not sharing that and it's manifesting more because you're not sharing it what do you review are you here like i said earlier before um the best way to manifest things is keep it to yourself the minute it comes out your mouth it the purity's gone of it that's my opinion doesn't have to be yours to have to be anyone else's but the bottom line is you self-manifest better when you keep it in and it works right along the line so what do i mean about that if you self-manifest that you're going to do and achieve this goal in a year's time and keep it that secret keep that secret to yourself don't tell no one your objective don't tell no one your goal and keep working at it it'll manifest and it'll come through guaranteed keep it a secret but on the other hand if you're sitting there depressed and you're saying um i feel like killing myself or whether i feel down and all this depressive attitude and all this stuff if you keep that in it's going to manifest just as much as the objectives you set yourself with manifest do you understand what i mean yeah man yeah what do i mean well what you're trying to say is is that whatever you a self whatever you self affirm to yourself is going to manifest for exactly exactly now when you when you read this message of um share the problem is a problem halfed right when you see people down and they're really down and you're trying to get into them and you're going to share it you'll feel better if you've got to cry cry i've been there all the time with different types of people where they're crying on my shoulder yeah and the reason they're in that condition is because they've been manifesting it they're sitting there quietly saying to themselves i'm depressed and you don't like to tell people that [ __ ] because you feel ashamed of it so you keep it to yourself not realizing you're manifesting it it comes down to gratitude really what you're grateful for you're just you know you know what we're actually oh god the time is just flying as well bro it's a nightmare no well listen if there's anything you feel like you want to say you know a message out there to anyone especially in wales obviously because we're you know with uh sum it up in one sentence what is it that you want to tell the people of wales bro the people this one the people of wales south wales um there's a lot of depressive energy going on a lot of people are getting depressed a lot of people are unsure where their life's going a lot of people are feeling suicidal i've been there i've been on the edge i've got a brother that's stopped himself and i've got another tempted to talk himself all i can say to you is this don't give up don't think that this is your life and this the way it's going to be this is a process if you understand what i'm going to say now this is the first stage of your life you're going to get obstacles placed in front yeah you're going to go through pain you're going to go through trauma i encourage you to challenge them don't give up because once you pass them the energy you get off that is so pure it'll drive you to wherever you need to go suicide is self-manifested if you're thinking about suicide speak to someone don't feel ashamed about it if you're feeling that you're getting down too often too much share it the way we've just been speaking here about self manifestation don't self manifest negative nonsense don't do it because it comes true if you're sitting there with all these negative things to yourself it's going to manifest share the negative stuff and keep the positive stuff and it'll work better for you hello it's been a class time and always thank you sorry nice shoes i like not a knife thank you so much mate honestly that means so much and just one more thing before we go i just want to say a big thank you to kenille coffee shop for giving us the sponsors and safe precision haircare thank you so much again darren really emotional really powerful and hopefully we can get you down again the central club you

Channel: The Central Club

Views: 211,120

Keywords: gang life, prison stories, podcast, cardiff podcast, central club, darren gee, shaun attwood, life in prison, violence, liverpool, prison sentence, uk prison, murder, mental health, how to change your life, how to get out of prison life, liverpool gangs, stephen french, murder in uk, uk podcast, danny gee, gangster uk, gangster, real conversation with ex gangster, choose a life, knife crime, gangster life, charity, changing your life, save a life, wealth, religion, islam, stories

Id: FHUL5F0pXtQ

Length: 88min 42sec (5322 seconds)

Published: Sun Jun 06 2021