- [Mark] All right, JJ. JJ, what neighborhood did you grow up? What neighborhood? - Oh, just I say Westside LA, yeah. - [Mark] And gang life
started for you at what age? - [JJ] I would say,
introduced in kindergarten. (Mark and JJ laugh) - [Mark] Really? - Yeah , I used to see
stuff on TV, you know. And uh, you see movies and you emulate the styles, the glamor, the attention.
- Right. - Then it's time to protect yourself. You gotta know how to protect yourself. Lookin' at people come from, older people, older influences. I call 'em negative
influences and bad influences. You start, uh, learning from 'em. What to do, what not to do,
how to protect yourself. - [Mark] Tell me about your family. Did you have both parents? - Yeah, yeah. - [Mark] And you still
got involved in gangs? Your parents didn't
steer you clear of that? - Nah, they just been around. - [Mark] Just the way it is. - You look out the door
that's all you see. It was like say '79, not '78, but '79, it was goin' on. - [Mark] I mean, do you,
when you were a kid, do you have role models? Do you have neighbors or friends
that the dads were lawyers or doctors or, none of that. - None of that. - [Mark] None of that. - None of that. There were no daddies around. They was probably all dead or in jail. You know, that's the plan. - [Mark] Yeah. Have you done prison time? - Yeah, I did some prison time. Two times. I had a probation violation. And I was hangin' out, not reporting. Did 16 months, they sent me to prison. It was all right, it's back in the days. Let's see, I stayed out
five years, I went back. Did like ten. I gotta an assault and battery, and did that. Ten, came on back. - [Mark] Ten years? - Yeah. I never went back. I've been out for like 12 years. Ain't nothin' in there,
you know what's I'm sayin'? (Mark laughs) - Why be around a whole
bunch of home boys? I like honeys. - [Mark] Not a lot of those in prison. - Yeah, I'm like, I'm cool. I got along with a lot of people. All races. Vietnamese, Mexican, white.
- Really? - Yeah, black. I got along with everybody. I call it like being multi culture. I don't play the color
line or the race thing. I just like people. And you gotta like yourself first. You gotta care. I was with moms, pops, and
they had they're ups and downs. They wasn't perfect, they was young. So you get involved with. You better not be one and
part of the gangs, though. So it was like under the radar. Oh. I used to smoke weed. And it took me down. It's like, ah, I stopped having a drive
to go get the money, to hustle, to go get the job. I tried to draw. I tried to use at as an excuse to, nah. It took my creativity away. - [Mark] That's what I see. - And it's an addiction. - [Mark] That's the thing
people don't realize. - It took my- - [Mark] It takes drive away. - Yeah. Sleep. - [Mark] Your drive to create. - Yeah, I stopped using that. But I still had a temper. I still was mad. And I used to get angry. So it lead me, to take that case. While I was there, I found myself. I looked at myself. You get in that tight spot, a jail cell or a casket (laughs). You look at yourself,
you're in a tight spot. So I start understanding myself. I started knowing myself and accepting myself. And I guess, I started
caring more about myself. And lookin', I'm not
gonna let this happen. And I used to just walk and look and see those cars go by, trucks. So I'm gettin' me one of
those, maybe a couple. I ain't comin' back. So, I got out. I cut grass. I did a whole bunch of work. Applications, applications. It's like, "We do it on the computer, 'cause you gotta do it on a computer." I say, "Can I get an application,
I wanna fill it out." They don't so that
anymore, they laugh at me. Some people (swooshes), "We're not hiring," and
they just slam the door. So it start getting funny to me. I kinda got it. No, I'm not gonna get discouraged. I'm gonna see if they
slam this door on me. "Slam it," (laughing) I said. I'm gonna see if they're gonna (shoos). I couldn't get no work. So I said, I got one
though, a temporary job. I looked at the check that week, I say, "I make this every day," me and my father. I got me a truck. He had a truck. He had a lot of tools. He said, "I fucked up all the money." He said, "I messed up all the money, "so this is all I got is these tools. "If I go, everythin' is all yours." So we worked. We moved, we painted. We oversee all kind of like
apartment complex buildings and stuff. Did everything, plumbing. And he had so many tools, we
just got work, work, work. And that kept me out.
- Yeah. - Roof in. Then I learnt, I learnt this all out here. I couldn't focus in there. There was too much stuff goin' on. - [Mark] In prison? - Yeah, riots and fights, and
you know, it was just crazy. You got people wanna be rappers and you tryin' to read the book, and he's over here makin'
noise beatin' on a desk. So I couldn't concentrate. And then you gotta watch
your back all the time. And I still carry myself like that. I won't drink, I won't smoke. I won't smoke a joint, I
won't smoke a cigarette. It's like I'm still in the yard. I pay attention. Yeah, you gotta be aware
of your surroundings. It's like you're in a war zone. And I seen a lot of like,
gore, you know, I seen it. - [Mark] In prison, mostly? - Streets, prison, I seen it. And it ain't that nice. When I see the environment that I'm around, like right here right now, if I see somethin' startin' to look funny, I gotta go. I'm not gonna stand
around and get blown up. Because you got a lot of idiots out here and I don't wanna be around 'em. I'm gone (swooshes), you
know what I'm sayin'? And I got a little gray haired now. - [Mark] How old are you? - 47.
- 47. - Yeah, I'm a little gray haired now and it's wisdom, I call it. I don't do the things I used to do. I don't have nothin' to prove. - [Mark] Yeah, I think we're
all young and stupid once. - Yeah, I was very. I was, I guess, searching for the attention-deficit
disorder that we all had. We're searching for attention and you're gonna get that attention but it's a lot a consequences gonna come with that attention. And then you start taking them steps and then I gotta do all these things. Because if you don't,
you gonna get beat down. Anything can happen. It's survival. There's a lot of people
got talent around here. I look at everybody like, around here, I look at 'em like they're my family. Even if I don't know 'em, I
still look at 'em as my family, because we're the ones from the family that the family really like shunned us. We're the black sheep of the family. We speak the same language. We all got somethin' in common. We speak the same language in this flock of the sheeps right here. We're the black sheeps. Everybody else, they got
their houses, their kids. They got their jobs and they're
eatin' all this nasty food. They're all messed up. Reason why I'm so strong is
because I had it so hard. I had it real hard. I'm talkin' about real hard. And I asked nobody for nothin'. I don't ask somebody not for one penny, a quarter or a dollar. I never, my father always taught me never to ask nobody for nothin'. Go out there and get it yourself. Even when it came to him. He'll give me, but he'll say, "I gotta stop givin',
you grown, git your own. "Go git your own, I gotta stop. "I could loan you somethin',
you better give it back." 'Cause I loaned him and he said, "Like I give it back to
you, you give me mines back, "you need anything." (claps) But when we loaned money to each other, we always give it right back. We never try to play
games with each other. - [Mark] So you saw values and you're walking a straight line. How much do you credit
your dad being in your life with all that? You had a good role model, it sounds like. - You know, but I kinda didn't listen because I did things
behind his back still. But I always come up
out of and then he asks, "Why you gettin' in trouble so much?" Or, "Why you doin' this,
why you actin' like that?" "Why you dressin' like that?" It's like, "You hang with these dudes, you don't hang with those." I said, "I'm not hangin'
with none of them, 'I'm hangin' by myself, "but gimme some money,
I'm behind right now." - [Mark] But you sound like you got your head in the right place and you've been this way for awhile. What would you credit, where would you think you got that from? - I would say, I'm just tired. Being around a lot of people, a lot of people who lost a lot. People that got cheated a lot. People who just had a chance but they were so messed up on drugs. They always told me, "Don't
do this, don't do that." Don't snort this, don't
shoot this, don't drink this. And those people, they're all dead now. They got killed. Got a whole bunch of time
in prison for nothin'. Two strikes when the law's in effect. And they ain't never comin' home and they're like legends. They taught me. They showed me how to work on cars. Lowriders and stuff. I was a little kid and he give me a box
of lowriders from 1977. He gave me three boxes. Big boxes, bigger than these, just full of all lowriders. And my mother told me,
"Don't bring 'em home." I said but, "But they'll be
worth somethin' in the future." Don't bring no more junk here. And that still hurted me to this day, 'cause I know those are the lost issues that no one can never find. He had all of em'. And I really wanted that. And that's all I always wanted
was support from my family. I need more support. I needed support period. Not just, I'm livin' here,
'cause they're taking. They did a lot of taking. Kept me down. It's like, you're on a
crutch, break the crutch. - [Mark] You're own family? - Yeah. Cut throats. Yeah, yeah. I come from that. But I still walk like my grandfather. But not all the way, but you know, have respect. Be courteous, be kind
to people in general. You know, like elderly people. Don't disrespect nobody,
don't disrespect yourself. Don't be saggin' in your
pants, keep your pants up. I keep my pants, 'cause
I'm tryin' to get the job, ain't nothin', I don't do that. - [Mark] Respect is a huge
part of all this, isn't it? - It's part of you, it
starts with you, within. So those are some values. - [Mark] Do you have kids of your own? - I got some supposed to be
kids, I'm still tryin' to, I keep, "the boy look just like you." Yeah, yeah, I got some supposed to bes. - [Mark] What do mean, supposed to bes. - Supposed to be my sons. Supposed to be my daughter, you know. - [Mark] But you're not sure? - I'm not sure. I gotta try to look 'em up. I'm tryin' to do the DNA test right now. I'm still waitin'. Yeah, unless I did somethin' wrong. I gotta call, I'm still
waitin' on them to call me. Yeah, the boy look just like me. Yeah, I just wanna get him. Protect him. Teach him.
- Yeah. - Yeah, it's nice. But I'm old now, you know. I got cheated a lot. Talk about family. Cheated me. Didn't give me that chance,
when I really needed it. They took from me. And it hurts so I turn
to the neighborhood. The homies. - [Mark] So what's your next step? - My next step is just keep
helping people, helping. The more I help, I'm not a Christian, I'm spiritual. I help people, I believe in helping. And I give. You gotta know when to give, you gotta know when not to give. You gotta know when to be
kind hearted and cold hearted. 'Cause people play games. And like I said, I learnt. It's like wisdom and I'm just a helpin' man, that's how I survive,
I help a lot of people. I give you a hand if you need somethin'. I get my pay like Jesus. You know, he didn't have no pay check or no time clock, oh wait, a time clock. Yeah and he probably had no pay check, he just worked for trade
for labor and all that. So, I still, I carry myself like dat. I'll give everybody a
hand, but I'm gonna eat. I'm gonna survive. I don't care about all that other stuff. I used to, but nah, it's not important. You leave yourself open
to get hurt, killed. You know what I'm sayin'? It's too much goin' on. And they plague this whole everything. Everything is messed up. This is all I got left. That little bit. Yeah, see, I was a slow learner too. I was special education. I couldn't focus in the teacher. I couldn't. I guess I was developing and I'm lookin' at the girls,
I'm lookin' at the glamor. I'm lookin' at, I'm not
listening, so I'm failin'. They put me in a different class. So we're all the same. And now I learnt how to
learn, as I got older. I'm a slow learner. I learned how to listen and pay attention. And that's how I learnt how
to do roofin', electrician, electrical stuff like up a telephone post. I help out but they teach me. And I'm so focused now. But you have to get all
the bad influences out, clear your mind, keep that that bull crap, that (speaks Spanish), keep it out of your temple. Just like you puttin' bad food in, you gonna start lookin' bad,
you gonna start feelin' bad. You gotta put the good in. It's like, we're temples, you know. We're all family but
you gotta love yourself. You gotta care. Stay outta the liquor store. Stay outta the weed dispensary,
whatever they call it. Don't smoke it. I mean, people goin' crazy out there. They on that other stuff, chemicals, man, it's a mess. It's a mess. But like I say, I ain't drinkin' nothin'. I never drinked in my life. Maybe, okay, we're
workin' on some bicycles and my home boys are drinkin' some beers. They passed it, I'm buzzed. Next day, they come over, we're workin' on the bikes and hmm. Then that third or fourth day. The fourth day, they didn't show up. So I went to the store. Then I went to the store, and that third day, I ain't got no business
goin' to that little market, or that liquor store down here. That beer can stay up
in that refrigerator. And I, uh-uh! 'Cause I felt tan addiction comin'. I felt that craving and
that's what I'm afraid of. Uh-uh, I'm cool. - [Mark] Good for you. - It's about being strong, 'cause you don't know what may happen. You gotta be able to take care of yourself and take care of others and help. I tell the youth, "Pull your pants up, "don't get that tattoo. "Don't get in that gang,
they don't care about you." You know, I tell 'em the dangers. I try to, like God gave me a
second chance to reach out, to outreach to see
people out there fallin'. Don't help them kill their
self, help them survive. We're all related. We all, even me and you,
we're related. Mm-hmm. - [Mark] Your story's refreshing. You just operate very differently from a lot of people up here. - Yeah. I be out here, just like they do. I don't mess with nobody. I stay to myself. They already know, you come mess with me, I'm gonna be right there. I'm gonna talk to you,
you know what I'm sayin'? Leave me alone. I just leave. And if you catch me on my way out, you got it comin' (laughing). You gonna get one, a fair one. I don't need no help neither. You know what I'm sayin'? I'm gonna talk to you, get up, I got some more for you. Other than that I'm a good
guy, I help everybody out. - [Mark] Excellent. Thanks you
so much for talking with me. - All right, yeah.
