- I wanna continue on with my story. My story consist of this. We talked about the game bang and shit. We talked about my upbringing and all the above. It's a cold thing like when when your siblings becomes a victim of circumstances that may have or may have not been a result of your karma. You understand what I'm saying? And I say this just to say, right I gotta burry my sister tomorrow. (inaudible) My sister younger than me. You understand what I'm saying? I got to go to her wake today. Look at these flowers for my mama. I ain't talk to my mama in 12 years, you know, 12 mother fucking years I ain't talked to my mama. My sister died two streets over in a fucking tent. Yeah, she, she was a druggie, all that other bullshit, but at the same time, right? It's like the people that you that you may deal with, endeavor whatever the circumstances is you don't want that shit for your family. You don't want that for
your, for your siblings especially when your
sibling is younger than you. I'll be 50 years old next month. 50. My sister was 37. Right? 37. She lied to me for many,
many, many, many years that she wasn't doing this or doing that. But she was enthused and excited about that lifestyle. That whole lifestyle. To the point where that bring her her death. Her fucking baby daddy
he got 16 years in a pen. Been in a pen for three years already. And they had three kids These kids are my nieces and my nephews in my mother fucking house right now. I got to raise them. I just seen my little niece two hours ago, my wife "Get her bring her home, bring her home, bring her home." We go a wake today at three 30. You understand what I'm saying? My mother fucking niece she's 16 years old. She out here smoking weed,
smoking fucking crystal doing all this other little bullshit with her little punk ass friends. And I grabbed her "Come on, let's go home, come on." She pulled away from me. That shit hurt. You know, that shit hurt. I ain't talked to my mom in 12 years. I talked to my mom on the
phone last night for two hours for two motherfucking hours man. And I did a lot of fucked up shit in my life. Did a lot of fucked up shit. I don't understand this whole concept that is karma shit and
you reap what you sow that's life. That's the way this go. But it's like when the shit home you know, that shit hurt man. You know it hurt deep. My sister was 37 years old. She died. We waiting on autopsy now we don't know if it was natural cause, did a motherfucker kill her? Is she OD? You know, just, just,
just, just all that shit. You know, that's the real
shit though, man you know. I did a lot of fucked up shit man in my day, you know. Mother fucked up shit I bro. Mother fucked up shit man. And I don't wish this life on nobody. It's my baby sister right here, man. It's my baby sister. This her wake. Her wake is today. She left three kids. I ain't got a fucking job. I'm out here doing my shit. Fucking up whatever. Trying to live, trying to survive trying to take care of my fucking kids. My fucking girl. Now I got three more mouths to feed. You know, as a result of this lifestyle. I won't wish this shit on my worst enemy. This shit right here man you won't feel it till it hit home. You won't feel it till you went home. I ain't been home in four days. I've been up for three days. Three days I've been up. I ain't had no sleep in three fucking days cause I'm tired of dealing with the crying
and it's too much for me. I'm not I can't say I ain't an
emotional person, but it's a fucked up shit you know. I found my little sister dead in a tent. Found her dead in a tent. I'm 13 years older than her. It's my baby sister man. (off screen siren) I can do some things differently, I would. I did a lot of fucked
up shit in my life, man. Mother fucked up shit. Shit hurt. You'll never feel it
till that shit hit you till that shit hit home. And we feel that shit. I'll be 50 years old next month. 50. I never thought I would
be here to see that. I have three grandkids. I don't know what I don't know what the newer
purpose is for me today. I did a lot of fucked up shit. Did a lot of time in prison. I did some things coming up. Same type of pain I'm feeling right now I may have flicked it at on somebody else. That shit aint cool man when you get to feel that
the same shit you know. Her boyfriend, he suspect I don't wanna kill a nigga you know. This nigga left and my sister in a tent. He panicked. He ain't call the fucking ambulance man. You know? He tell me when he left my sister, right? She was alive. Okay. My sister only came down
here to fuck with you. I ain't trying to do life in prison. (off screen noises) You reap what you saw men. When you do shit and then that shit come back to you it's a fucked up feeling. It ain't cool, man. You know not cool. I did a lot of fucked up shit growing up. Now I understand and I know how the people felt. (off screen music) I know how the people felt. I don't know if this is
what God wanted me to see. What He wanted me to feel. I ain't been sleeping three days, man. Three days crying, hurt. I look at my nieces and nephews. They daddy in jail they mama dead. They ain't got nobody else. I ain't got my own shit together. How the fuck ima feed three more mouths? Yeah man, for real man. This whole lifestyle when it come to this game bang and shit. This is selling drugs shit. Fuck that shit man. That shit ain't good. It ain't cool, it ain't for nobody. Cause in the end you either gonna die, you gonna be in prison
for the rest of your life. If the mother fucker can't get to you it gone get to the next
thing close to you. This shit ain't no game out here, man. It ain't no game. This shit is real life shit. Is real life shit that
happens every fucking day. Every day. I have buried my baby sister. I buried my baby sister. She's 37 years old. Three kids. My little mother fucking niece. she's running around here with her little fucking friends. They getting high. Smoking fucking crystal and all this other bullshit. My mama telling me "Get her , bring her home, get her, bring her home." She snatched away from me, man. She pulled away from me like she's 17 years old. What the fuck I supposed to do? These the same mother
fuckers I sell drugs to. This shit ain't fair. My best advice man to anybody out here and his lifestyle is glamor or whatever the fuck you choose to call this shit. It ain't good till that shit hit home. When that shit hit home, that shit take the chunk up out of you and knock you down. Don't give a fuck how tough you is. How tough you may think you is. Cause anybody can get it. No matter who you is, where you from you can get it. For real not for play. Not for play. Now I don't know what the fuck to do. I mean I'm at the crossroads where
what I'm supposed to do. Do I get upset? Get grimy? Do what I know best? Do I have some fucking common sense? Common sense. Basic common sense. Not to do the things that ain't right. Don't matter who it is. What's right is what's right. What's wrong is what's wrong. If you feel it in your
heart and in your soul and you're doing something
that you know, ain't right you're not supposed to be doing it bottom line. Now, if you want some other shit and you wanna be tough guy, whatever you know what I mean? And you pushing that and you you doing what they do,
you with the business. We know what you do. Understand that you could be subject to the same motherfucking pain that you inflict on somebody else. When that shit hit home, you feel it. You fell it hard. You fell it hard. This shit ain't cool. This life, this, this shit ain't nothing. Easy come easy go. 50 years old next month. Did way too much shit. 27 years in prison off and on. The first time I went to prison I was 19. All the mother fuckers I knew, fuck with, homeboys, enemies whatever they ain't here today. Now God allowed me to
see three grand babies. I got three grandkids. Three, two girls and a boy. (inaudible) God seen me through that. And I know without his grace and everything else that come with it I wouldn't even be sitting in front of you talk to you today, man. You know I buried my little sister, man. I don't understand it. I don't understand it. I don't understand. My baby sister man. Changed her fucking diapers. Changed her fucking kids' diapers. I don't understand it. She fucked up.
