Ex-Boyfriend Made Up A SOB STORY & Told I Took Away His BABY & Now His Savage New WIFE Is After ME

how do you deal with your toxic ex i had a child with an ex-boyfriend he left me declared he had changed his mind about being a parent and ghosted after a few months the lack of any formal custody agreement was starting to cause legal problems with my child's care so i had to chase him down to get him to sign some kind of custody agreement i had an agreement drafted by a lawyer that had primary custody going to me but with visitation rights for him i also had my lawyer provide me documents that would terminate his parental right so i could offer that as well i finally tracked him down he screamed at me for a while and he grabbed the first paper from me and signed it without reading it asking me if i would finally leave him alone now i hadn't contacted him at all before this imagine my surprise when i realized he actually signed to give up parental rights on the advice of my lawyer i had it filed with the court immediately there was a hearing which he received summons but refused to appear in and his rights were terminated i never sought child support and moved on with my life but kept all necessary documents related to it in a folder so that my child can have that information when they're old enough to ask years passed i have never been opposed to having him be part of my child's life if he contacted me but the safety and security of my child both legally and emotionally is my top priority and i'm glad i can provide that he apparently got married and his wife contacted me with a scathing letter about how they would file for custody i was a monster from keeping him from his child blah blah blah i simply replied with marm dude voluntarily signed away his parental rights to child in 2013 please see the attached court order and copy of the document that is signed by dude you can also look up case number on state court records website accessible to the public or contact courthouse directly for more information good day they are screaming to all that will hear that this was illegal that they're going to get it overturned that i coerced him into signing by holding papers and they'll get full custody on the spot because i'm just so evil his mother who i speak to is on my side because it's been so long with nothing but thinks i should have given him a chance to realize what he was signing before filing it am i the idiot not the idiot he didn't read what he signed and was busy throwing a tantrum that strike won on him he didn't show up at court when summoned that strike two he didn't get in contact for years only after he got remarried final strike he had all the time in the world to have a relationship with his child but didn't want to be bothered about it now it's done and over and i doubt there is anything he can do because he willingly signed the papers without reading them that is on him i think strike three should be counted double since it was actually his wife contacting op this is ridiculous get a lawyer and enjoy the ride it probably won't be pretty but that's not on you you're doing good avoiding them especially for the sake of your child you are not wrong on what grounds do they think they could get full custody anyway they get laughed out of court you are not the idiot because dude has probably told new wife a lovely long story where he is the wonderful father who desperately wants to see his kid but evil mother won't allow him blah blah a new wife has just swallowed the whole load of nonsense and truly believes father of the year wants and deserves custody because mum is so terrible etc i hardly doubt deadbeat dad even has the slightest interest in custody he's just flexing for new wife and letting her fight his battles whilst trying to look like the good guy dude signed the papers and refused to appear in court when summoned no judge is ever going to rule in their favor his new wife should be taking a long hard look at this situation and question whether she should really be pursuing a future with him in any case you sought to do right by your child you are not the idiot not to mention how many years it's been since he signed it and ignored the court order he or his wife can run around screaming it's a mistake but the first question anyone is going to ask is what took you so long i've been going back and forth on writing this for a couple of days but seeing as my situation has only gotten worse what further harm could be done to me as you can tell from the ages i was way too young and she was too when our son was born we tried to stay together for him but when he was two years old my girlfriend decided that this wasn't going to work we split and she decided to keep the courts out of it and just pay child support however it wasn't court mandated so she misses payments and they weren't enough to single-handedly support our son so i got a job i worked in electrical construction and took care of my son for the past 11 years well i had growing suspicions that my son wasn't my kid but i buried them his mother is white and i'm black but he looks hispanic and has straight hair my son also has no similar features to me last week i took my son to the doctors and he got his blood drawn but he was scared so i did it first to show him that he'd be fine he got his blood drawn and the results came in two days later he had an a b positive blood type and he was healthy my blood type is a negative and i called his mother because i figured i could get my question answered here without anyone knowing she also is a positive meaning it's impossible for him to be my son but to make sure i got a dna paternity test those results came in four days ago and he's not my son there is a one percent chance that i'm his dad so i got bamboozled completely i was tricked into raising and bonding with this boy while both his bio dad and mom got to live out their dreams i didn't suspect her of cheating at the time so this really came out of left field i'll tell him when he's older and truly understands the gravity of the situation this is my son no matter what but i feel completely emasculated i raised another man's child and didn't even find out till he was 13. me and my ex have always been cordial but i really loathe her right now she was a lying conniving woman who cheated and dumped her mistake on me and then had the audacity to tease him by popping in and out of his life anyway how and when should i break the news to my son i thought maybe when he's older but what do you guys think jeez that's so heavy your ex did a really really horrible thing and continues to be toxic popping in and out is so unfair to him and you i wonder if she kept it out of the court system because she knew that it might mean a paternity test would have to be done you stepped up and did this kid right that makes you a good man and human in general this is kind of a huge thing to tell the kiddo and he's at a tender age if you do tell him right away heck even if you tell him in a few years maybe try to have some counselling support for him i bet he'll feel all types of ways about this as long as you work through it together i think you'll be okay keep reinforcing that you love him best of luck to you all buddy you feel emasculated you're a king my friend your useless ex and her useless loser should feel completely emasculated by having a man such as yourself pick up the burden they were too weak to carry and the son you earned through your selflessness will be your son forever that's a testament to your strength and the kind of reward that will resonate throughout your entire life tell him when he's an adult like deep into adulthood hopefully he'll compare how useless and cowardly his loser daddy was compared to his father my wife and i got a divorce last year our relationship failed after she was charged with felony credit card fraud and ended up pleading guilty to a lesser charge she had been a stay-at-home mom to our two sons and had taken out credit cards in my mom's name to pay for god knows what she shattered my trust i work full time and make a decent living but nothing extravagant i had no clue what my wife was doing until cops showed up at my door with a warrant and took my wife away in cuffs and took two laptops as evidence when i got the full story i filed for divorce immediately aside from being a criminal she was a good mom she tried to justify what she did by saying she was just doing what was best for our kids which i felt was total crap given that she never mentioned wanting for anything and anytime she asked to spend on something i almost always said yes i hired a good lawyer and asked for full custody of my kids my ex begged me not to do that saying she needed her kids but she was still looking at up to a year in jail and nothing her lawyer said could sway the judge to grant her anything more than supervised visitation she ended up doing 90 days in jail paying some fines and restitution but i've allowed her to see our sons almost every time she's asked the last year has been total hell but we've made it work a few months ago i was offered a much more lucrative position a few states away i talked with my lawyer about what it would mean if i moved and what the process was he said that since i have full custody i have to file a petition with the court to move so i told my wife what i wanted to do and she exploded she claimed i was stealing her kids from her that she's made a lot of strides to get herself to a better place and that she would fight me tooth and nail for her kids well i filed the petition got the go-ahead from the courts and accepted the job when the judge gave his ruling my wife burst into tears and began sobbing it was heartbreaking i know in my head that i'm doing the right thing for my sons they are young enough that a move like this won't be too traumatic but i also feel like their lives have already been completely overturned and i'm just adding more to that as for my wife she's a wreck she's been begging me to reconsider the move trying everything from guilt trips manipulation bargaining it's like she's going through the stages of grief but from my point of view she did this to herself she lied and broke the law i have very little sympathy for her i know at some point she will probably try to file for partial custody and i'm prepared for that for now i'm just trying to do what's best for me and my sons does that make me an idiot this is tough the divorce and getting full custody fully deserved not the idiot on that account moving to another part of the country where she'll have no contact with them i'm not so sold on this i think that you're still in pain and resent her and rightfully so but i'm not sure this is the best you can do regarding your children's relationship with their mother does she have any possibility of getting a job of moving or is she a financial mess as well and what are her living conditions like now have you gone to therapy let me be clear she did what she did and she's been held accountable for it you've got a right to move from a legal perspective but moving when you know she can't do the same will massively screw her relationship with your children and it will only lead to more anger resentment and pain you are the idiot i've read all your responses and this move is less about the new financial benefits and more about really sticking it to your ex-wife but this move affects your children who are being ripped from their primary caregiver and move to a place you know she can't afford to visit you state yourself that your ex-wife was a good mom your children will do best with both of their parents your children care more about their mom than the money your new job brings you have an obligation to work on resolving your hate and anger towards your ex-wife and deal with her as just the good mother of your children and you have more of an obligation to put the mental well-being of your children first and i do get where you are i have primary custody of my child who was born a month after my divorce of my 11 year marriage to her father i get betrayal and hate and pain i get not moving out of state to better my own career but i also get a kid who's got great relationships with both of her parents and is making memories and growing as a person with the influence of both created an account just for this my ex female38 and i female34 had been together for five years before we split five years ago when we got together we didn't think about kids at all but i was always very sure i didn't want them ever and was vocal about it it's not that i actively hate kids i'm just majorly uncomfortable with them i kind of freeze up when a kid approaches me and i'm super awkward around them so i really don't want to have kids that's aside the body horror gripping me whenever i even think about what being pregnant could be like bottom line no kids for me please that established i noticed my ex would kind of get a look whenever she encountered a small child after some time i asked her about it and we talked the whole night about our plans for the future it was the first time we talked like this i think living life in the moment before turns out she wanted kids but knew that i didn't so she didn't say a word we talked a lot over the next weeks and finally realized there was no way around it so we split up we've remained very good friends and i was happy for her when she found a guy married him and got pregnant four years ago so here's my problem we're still friends but i just can't meet up with her alone the kid is there every time i understand of course that she's a mom now with all the responsibility it includes and it was kind of fine the first year i was still majorly uncomfortable with the baby but also really wanted to hang out with her so i sucked it up but the kid is three now and for the last two years she always promised to leave the kid with a dad her mom her mother-in-law but that never happened one time she said she couldn't expect her husband to babysit the kid after he worked all day he's his dad though so yeah wanting to go to a nice restaurant kid is there wanting to watch a horror movie kid is there and so on since then we've gone from meeting up every two weeks to maybe once in two months last week however she came over with the kid and told me she was sad that we don't see each other as often as before i told her yeah and that i'm very sorry but i'm just really uncomfortable she shook her head and told me she couldn't understand that her son would make me feel uncomfortable that's fair she's his mom after all and that i would just have to learn to live with it so be best to turn my office into a kid's bedroom so her son and her could come over once or twice a week to spend the night to sort of train me to get used to kids uh what as politely as i could i told her no thank you she got angry yelled at me picked up a kid and left i just sat there dumbfounded i later talked to some friends and they told me i've been wrong from the beginning since we split up about the kids question in the first place and i should have just sucked it up gotten over myself and let her have a kid i need some perspective here am i the idiot info wait what your ex wants to spend the night at your place twice a week so you can get used to her son what is that and she wants you to convert your office into a room for them again what i thought about the possibility that she might want to get back together and that's why she's trying to get me used to the kid but it kind of felt paranoid and self-centered now it's been suggested a few times here so that got me thinking not the idiot now and you never were you did let her have a kid you two broke up and she went and had one without you meaning you have zero responsibility toward that kid it's not yours your friend and you have reached a crossroad and it's at the point where you may just need to let go and go separate ways you made your position clear by stating you don't want kids and by limiting contact your ex is being completely unreasonable in wanting you to redo rooms in your house for her kid to live in it sounds like she's trying to get an out for her marriage by trying to move in with you and is under the delusion that you someone who barely tolerates spending the afternoon with her kid will become a loving stepmother of sorts to her kid once you're around the kid 24 7 with no escape do not do this i am sorry that the rest of your friends are being toxic to you about this you can't force yourself to like kids and if they told you you should have had kids with your ex when you two were still dating no kids should not be brought into the world to a reluctant parent who never wanted them and resents their existence backstory my ex 19 male and i 19 female were together for about 10 months i believe pregnancy brain has me screwed i after a while started to realize that i hadn't got my period since april so i of course did what any person with a uterus would do and got a test well it was positive fast forward through the freaking out of my parents are going to kill me and all that i make an appointment with my doctor to get a blood test i wait my time and find out i am indeed pregnant about four to six weeks pregnant i am now 25 weeks pregnant i'm not entirely sure when we broke up in the course of the pregnancy but it was a bit ago now we had things pretty under control he was letting me make the decisions and pick names all that but when we were together i had planned for him and my mother to be in the delivery room with current precautions i am only allowed two people to have in the room and he was going to name the baby if they were a boy we now know that the little bean is a boy but since my ex decided to leave me i said screw that and i chose a name and switched my ex out for my dad even letting the hospital know that he was no longer going to be present and i did not want him in my room no matter what i believe that in a situation like this my comfort in labor comes first well when i first told him this he was not exactly happy about it but he wasn't going to fight me but of course he went to speak with his mother and suddenly he has to have the last name and he has to be in the room i understand that yes this is his child also but he is the one who left he still tries to hit me up for intimacy and is now going on about how he is joining the military and our son needs to have his name so if he dies or if i take our son away from him our son will have a piece of his dad and he needs to be in the room because and i quote he's my kid too you don't have the right to take this away from me which was yelled in a very rude way at me in my driveway at 6 pm when he randomly showed up i get that he wants to be a dad but before anyone makes their final decisions i would also like to point out that he was all for a termination before but when i said it didn't feel right he was furious that i told my mom that he had originally wanted to end it i'm starting to slowly feel like an idiot for the way i'm acting but at the same time he didn't want to stick around and also didn't even originally want our son so am i the idiot not the idiot about the birth that's a medical procedure being present for the birth is a privilege for anyone who isn't the mom not even the dad the name is trickier but that's really in my mind a custody matter if he's in the military and you're going to be the primary care provider it makes sense that the child would have your last name it's just easier [Music] you

Channel: XO

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Keywords: reddit, reddit stories, ask reddit, askreddit, reddit girl, reddit woman, reddit real voice, r/aita, r/mil, reddit ex, reddit ex boyfriend, reddit ex wife, reddit ex husband, reddit ex girlfriend, reddit paternity, reddit cheating, reddit spouse cheating, reddit husband cheated, reddit wife cheated, reddit took baby away, reddit sob story, reddit family drama

Id: WDT_JRMJibY

Length: 18min 36sec (1116 seconds)

Published: Sat Sep 26 2020