EWTN Live - 2014-8-13 - Dr. Ray Guarendi - Living Right with Dr. Ray

what a difference a generation makes we're going to talk about the joys and struggles of parenting through the generations tonight so please stay with us thank you very much thank you welcome I'm father Mitch Pacwa and welcome to EWTN live where we bring you guests from all over the world but before we get to today's guests I want to mention how yesterday on my threshold of Hope program I spoke briefly about the terrible humanitarian situation in Iraq and Syria and some of the other countries now even Lebanon and how we need above all to pray for peace however we can also work and contribute in any way that we can to help the Christians and other people who are suffering in the Middle East I'm pleased to let you know that earlier today the Knights of Columbus announced that they have established a fund to assist Christians and other religious minorities whether Christian or not all those who are facing horrific violent persecution in Iraq especially in Syria in the surrounding regions I just saw today more Yazidi men were just executed and now their wives and children are told to either convert or be killed themselves it's horrible so earlier today EWTN news nightly anchor Brian Patrick spoke with supreme naik Carl Anderson about this fund please take a look at it in launching this fund for the people of Iraq who are running fleeing from religious persecution is this really a new step out for the Knights or is this a continuation of what the Knights do all over the world well it really is a continuation we put millions of dollars into hurricane relief after Hurricane Katrina we've been helping in the Philippines after the typhoon there earlier in the past year after 9/11 we set up a million dollar fund to help the families the first responders who were killed we've been in the Middle East before we established a patch command Terrace fund to help promote peace in the Holy Land and support Christian education there so we've been involved in many of these kinds of situations going all the way back to the 1920s when we were helping our Mexican brothers and sisters during the persecution of the Catholic Church there by the Mexican government so we've been at this for many many years but of course this situation now is something new that Christians around the world are going to have to recognize and respond to so the Knights have in fact pledged an initial five hundred thousand dollars and will match an additional five hundred thousand dollars in donations from the public one hundred percent of all donations collected will be used for humanitarian assistance and right now there are about 350,000 people fleeing from the army of Isis right now so if you would like to help with the relief effort you can donate to the Knights of Columbus Christian refugee relief by visiting WWE slash Iraq or he can send checks or money orders to K of C Christian refugee relief Knights of Columbus Charities post office box 1966 that's a New Haven Connecticut zero six five zero nine and I had a very brief conversation all the folks are beginning to organize prayer vigils for the people in the Middle East and they want to do it nationwide but we'll have more about that time goes on right now we'd like to get to our guest he is a clinical psychologist and author the father of ten children ages 14 to 26 and he's here tonight to help parents learn laugh stand strong he's the host of the EWTN TV series living right with dr. ray as well as the EWTN radio show the doctor is in so please welcome good friend dr. ray guarendi parliment how the heaven are you I'm here tonight not because of what you think huh I'm here tonight because it's quieter here and it smells better than my house ain't that something well we're glad to accommodate you that and any other amenities we can help you with but does your wife know you're talking like that about her house my wife would agree with me oh by the way I was talking to some folks and I for awhile stood in awe of you yes how many languages do you speak look 12 12 okay now here's my theory yes I think what you did is you cherry picked about four vocabulary words out of each language and then you say him and people think oh he knows that language but we don't know enough to know that you don't know that language plus I noticed you picked these languages that nobody speaks like Aramaic and in all those languages so I'm wondering if this is just kind of like 30 or 40 vocabulary words that you mix and match well yeah it's a scam but they hired me at the university to teach Hebrew so guess it worked at least those four words yeah okay so it's probably a very I just dress it up for a whole year very easy final exam you know more languages and anybody I know is that right oh yeah I just gotta hang around more scriptures you guys you know it's a matter of fact it's something that you know people who do work in biblical theology know these languages because these are tools like I said to annoy the other day when it comes to working in the garage I tend to be a mechanical I'm not very good at that stuff but languages I can do those tools better so it's just different set of tools every time I see you it's as though you've learned another language no just keep working on the ones trying to get up to five words for Easter okay all right all right I just thought I did was really nervous about exposing you okay so that against can Luigi will have some so yes you know one of the things that everybody loves about your show is the the good sense that backed up with a lot of insight from your own field of clinical psychology that you bring to various situations in families you know there are times I have a couple of cats and know when they especially the one you know wants something to eat she'll just stand on my chest while I'm sleeping in bed and get me up and then you know once I'm up and feed her there's always your show to turn to you know watch that where you get the indigestion no no no no no it's just better than sominex no they really enjoy watching your show from because of those common sense plus the experience of clinical psychology you know it's it's not only common sense it's not only clinical psychology background but it's it's using these two together and this is something that a lot of folks need in today Society reason families does that make sense I will say in a presentation that the generation above me in my opinion was the last generation to have sense about parenting across the board my generation and below has started to second-guess become tentative question ourselves feel guilt when we shouldn't feel guilt have lost authority and we are wrapped up in Psychological correctness if I say just the right words with the right win-win scenario using active listening instead of passive listening a little buttkiss will say Oh father I've been so blind of course you make such perfect sense let us sing Kumbaya around the campfire we've sold a bill of goods to parents yep you know as a matter of fact even in English language today you hear that self-questioning unsureness by the way people will say are we going to have a show everything ends the upward kind a question as if it's a question because did I say anything right it was okay there's that's in the language its MIT I think it started in the valley out in California but it's now everywhere and people just in Oh like they say okay and so this is something about people not having confidence listen what they're trying to do listen listen to parents talk in a preschool setting Igor can we go now would you like to get your coat now is that okay is that all right I call it putting discipline in question if the child were straight with you he would say no it's not alright I don't want to get my coat right now why are you asking but as as parents we have been taught by the shrinks let's all just get along let's not be autocratic let's let's set up win/win interface scenarios where the child cooperates and recognizes that that father it's not an authoritarian he's a democratic persuasive facilitator of child-rearing so what's happened yeah you know of course I sell a lot of books that way so I'm not totally against it I certainly remember one of my father's favorite lines especially about the about the time I entered adolescence I'm your father not your friend make your old friends do what I tell you then in you know I didn't like how dictatorial it was oh it was and I said I thought so too but as he also said frequently you're gonna thank me for this someday never that day never that you were weighted by some day but he would say yeah but it did come along you know where you realized there was sense in this he needed to be the dad I could make my own friends than I did and in in adulthood I could be his friend but as a child relationship there's something where he had to take the leadership your father loved you yeah you knew it yeah so that when he talked like that you didn't view him as some overbearing autocratic psychologically suffocating adult did you oh I thought that oh you didn't think that useless words yeah no I didn't know but I thought that way you know but I also learned that's just me hoping to have some ideas by was I can manipulate him to do what I wanted to do anyway and later on I learned he was correct in doing this the limitations he said did your father have the look at the very least you look at a kid nowadays most of them look back at you what are you looking at you want to mess with this the look is dead and that is probably the single biggest indicator of parental loss of authority across the board clowns will come in my office and they'll say well tell me tell me how to control him tell me what I need to do and I will say I don't know if I can teach you how to have a Thor 'ti that he perceives your father did you ever have a point in your life at age 3 5 7 9 12 60 where you 565 all right I was I was I was holding off hours I didn't wanna get too close to the edge where you said to yourself all right who's he think he is he's not going to tell me what to do ever twice when I was 13 were you looking up from the ground or what yes no I was looking up from the bottom of the stairway and and again that was twice and then that never happened again but you still perceived his authority you didn't exactly you may have gotten angry and you wanted to get in his face right but it wasn't a matter of he has no authority over me no right and I tell parents that was perception something back in you way back 18 months 16 months back when you only knew four languages was implanted in you that you just didn't challenge him you didn't argue with him you didn't if you were put in a corner you didn't throw a fit and come out 27 times you didn't look at him at bedtime and say make me you didn't I'll tease my clients I will say what would your mother or father had done had you talked to them the way your daughter is talking to you Oh Oh III never would have talked to my mother that way why not you were a teenage girl once why didn't you well I knew you knew what something would happen what I don't know why don't you know it never happened why didn't it happen I never did it why didn't you do it something would have happened what I don't know who's on first I don't know third base but you see what it speaks a father right it's that perception that's gone that is gone it's this idea that now kids can challenge they can negotiate they can argue they can come at you and and if you have strong confident Authority you're psychologically a Neanderthal or you're causing trauma to the kid you'll never get over ever I told my children I'm giving you material for your therapist don't blame me if you're on Springer and and we can maybe get professional courtesy from the therapist that's right I've got okay I got a package deal for most of my children I had if you'll forgive me I'd share with your audience and audience at home I don't want to brag permit me to brag we had one of those moments as a parent where you feel good about your parenting my son's parole officer said one of the nicest kids he has so you know you just see it warms y'all exactly you just beam and you know this is something that there was also real clarity that I as a kid was not the most important unit in the group you know and that's something I think it was very important that the family was a group all together we were all involved in trying to make it through life together and therefore we're all going to cooperate and mom and dad saw to that okay father what happened what would what was the education of your mom and dad what level my dad had eighth grade and my mother in ninth grade okay so what happened when my generation is much more educated than my father's much here's your mom and dad with 8th to 9th grade education why is it that at least in the household it was very clear used to her clarity it's very clear that they ran things and you were ok with that as a as a kid for the most part well at the moment you got mad but for the most part what happened between them the unsophisticated uneducated generation and mine and below what what happened do you know I have a couple observations one among the families that stayed intact there was there is a theory that I want my kids to have it better than I did I want to give them stuff that I never had toys I couldn't afford a setter etcetera that was that's one very common thing a second and totally catastrophic reality I see is in the late 60s with the sexual revolution marriage became a negotiable an option exactly and one that it became in the mind of many people of our generation oh it's just a piece of paper from City Hall I don't need City Hall to tell me who I can love or the church or anybody else and that did not lead to loving more people or even loving the one you're with for a lifetime but it became the basis that we went from in 1940 or 4% of all children are born out of wedlock 1965 percent and now today 43 percent of all children because parents no longer became committed to the people that they adults do with and certainly not to the children and that has been a second catastrophic iseman gun to seismic absolutely would you say that the folks who watch this program for the most part are more family-oriented than the norm probably okay and if we were to poll your audience we could say that maybe 80 90 percent of them are still in committed husband-wife relationships even as Grandparents okay so I would also add one other thing okay a lot of those grandparents are now raising children that their children won't take care of highest percentage ever yep highest percentage recorded last I heard it because the time now because the the the parents of the children have died because they are just gone and grandparents are in their 60s 70s and even later trying to raise a kid yes that's very common so given that would our advice to those folks essentially be understand that the general culture is not going to think like you understand that you cannot use them as a guide on how to supervise what media to allow when to give social freedom when to spank when to discipline how much to monitor their friends you cannot use a majority your parents could use a majority could be not just most thought like your parents as a matter of fact all the moms were in on it they all knew each other and if we monkey it around in mrs. Pavan jar to mrs. Seekers yard we would get it there the information got home before you did yes exactly one of the things I now have to spend an inordinate amount of time dealing with as a shrink is the idea that good parents feel beleaguered and critiqued and analyzed and second-guessed by their family members often times by their church community by the people around them sometimes by their mom and dad because they are attempting to go against the flow of that culture out there even strangers will come up to parents of when they have a number of children and and criticize them without even knowing them for having so many children what like four or five you know that and you ten kids I don't take them out in public okay no I three sins left in our culture father smoking spanking and having more than one point seven four children those are the three sins left and the idea that you can go after a pregnant woman I cannot tell you how many pregnant mothers have told me they no longer tell their family members that they're pregnant they will not share it with their friends and I talked about ten minutes ago which is the loss of parental authority because if you have four or six I can't imagine that I can't handle the one that I have yes I can't handle the two that I have how could you how could you function with five and I just simply say I let my wife do it our ups are things when she needs them but this is um you know something that is extraordinarily important to understand oh that the culture is not wise when it comes to children no you see this this breakdown a family that 43% of children who are born out of wedlock they account for the great majority of our poor and pretty popular and it may and our prison eighty percent of the people in our prisons are the children of unwed mothers and it does not matter in regard to race or ethnic background the what is the big factor is not race but do you marry the man with whom you have children do you marry the woman you want to be the mother of your children and that you live to get and make a commitment you are irreplaceable to me and we are both irreplaceable to our children there's nobody else who can take our place and we're gonna stay with this through the difficulties that is what makes the difference also across racial lines and ethnic lines between those who are poor those who are on drugs who are physically abused sexually abused and those who get an education those are all factors that come in in it's a matter of saying we're family and that means something very clear and definite one of the uphill battles in doing therapy and any therapist will tell you this is somebody will come in and describe a lot of immoral or self-defeating or hurtful behavior behavior that's tearing the fabric of their life apart getting them past the justifications that they have formed for that behavior our culture is on a culture wide journey of justification what you're describing is fact you can't argue with it all of the social scientists say the same thing divorce is bad for kid single motherhood is this leading cause of poverty imprisonment kids who grow up without a father are far more likely to abuse drugs to commit suicide to get in trouble with the law to drop out of school that's fact but our culture finds a way to justify it I guess what I'm saying to you folks don't buy in to the justification you're different as father says culture is not wise no matter of fact there's a you mentioned three mortal sins according to the culture a fourth that really really upsets them don't be judgment don't judge me don't don't say that what I'm doing is wrong who do you think you are God you'll hear that again and again and say well I'm not God and I don't want to be can't be but I know what God said in his law and I also had parents that gave me common sense and I learned as I grew old and what you're doing is dumber than a box of rocks so stop so you get to say stuff like that as a therapist I can't oh okay actually I can sometimes you know I know my clients I know him well I could look and say what were you thinking why would you do something so dumb and some folks will look at you say you're right you're have to see one of the ways we can get get away with it too especially here in the south you just start off bless his heart but you're dumber than a box like I say blessings aren't listen that kind of covers the multitude let's blast your heart and with that count as a language no okay but but it's something where you know for people of sins to cease being afraid to speak sensibly yes about sensible things I tell parents find one other parent that thinks like you that will triple your emotional strength you will not feel isolated you will not feel alone you will realize you're not who has it Bishop Sheen that said how did I got to get this right wrong is wrong even if everybody is wrong right is right even if nobody is right you have to have enough confidence as a parent to say what I'm doing is correct for my family with my moral system and I don't care if all around me disagree parents will say to me well doctor a is it right and I'll say stop who's the parent well I mean I am then 80% of the time you are right because this is your judgment to make it's not a matter of taking a poll of a hundred experts or a thousand parent here it's your house well I we got rid of our TV is that okay your decision except for what's the need to be kid well yeah baby right now you're not you're not even know what I'm saying there so but it's you know in and I think again one of the keys you begin this why we have a small baby you don't say oh you young man are one month old you should know better than to mess your diaper no you know you just you deal with them with all the different things you give them unconditional love but by the time the kid gets that glint in his eye as he's about to do something naughty and he's looking to see what the parents will do as he chooses something naughty by that point that unconditional love has to be peppered and salted with a good dose of the kind of love that makes sure the boy or the girl learns not to be so dumb you know what parrots do father they differentiate between what you're talking about they'll say why had to use a little bit of tough love and I'll correct them I'll say no no no that's that's not tough love just that's love yeah it's the same thing we've bought into the language which is well you know if you stand your ground and if you're a confident parent you do what's good for your child and you and you don't budge on it well that's tough love no no no it's just that's just love yeah don't don't let other people tell you that's tough love you love your child unconditionally but you also love what is good because it's good what is right because it's right and you love your child enough to draw them into that at their own pace and that's what's key but one of the things that we also have to love is that we've run out of time for this part of the show so we're gonna come back in about two minutes and we want to get your questions as well as those of our studio audience so please stay with us welcome back welcome back first of all I thank all these nice folks from different parts of the country who have come over here spicy big group of folks from New Jersey in New York good the a people's lot of other folks evens five ways Jamaica and as far away as Singapore so that's the name on the big price so um was it long distance award anyway so if you can come over here please contact our pilgrimage Department their number is two zero five two seven one two nine six six or you can go to our web site ewtn.com and they'll give you all sorts information about scheduling of programs and masses directions all over the place to get here as well as to restaurants hotels and a handful and we'd love to have you come over here and join us now well they can come another night okay okay they got a plan all right the last party let's take a question we're studio answer where you from Eiffel Philadelphia father good to have you here welcome ed your question well father and dr. ray I wonder if you have any thoughts or comments on what seems to be an increasing role in government in micromanaging or policing the way parents maybe do too much to their children or don't do enough I mean obviously if a parent stars their child to death I think there's a role for government policing but I just seem to hear in the news now more and more of government sanctioning parents because of the decisions that they make especially in in the in the area of discipline or negligence right that's pretty wide issue in fact last last week I think it was a mom was picked up by the police because she let her ten-year-old son or so go to the park by himself you know that so you know there's a lot of us involvement what some of the kinds of issues associated with that the philosopher says there are two things that make people behave one is an inner moral system the other is the point of a gun what's happening I believe our government decided we're not going to behave we're gonna make you behave we're gonna intrude and on top of that we have good intentions because we're smarter than you we follow the experts who say you can't do that you spank that kid out in public whoo okay so that that's the natural course of things when what you were talking about father the family breaks down something is going to come into that vacuum and in our case it is not the clan it is not the tribe it is not the extended family it is now the government and natural course of events I will tell you addressing this gentleman's question most of the clients that I've had who get referred to Children's Services for suspected abuse neglect are neither abusive nor neglectful they disciplined in a way that somebody disapproved of friend of mine called me once he said that he was in the bathroom his three-year-old got out the front door it was playing down by the road cop happened to go by saw the child brought him to the house knocked on the door my friend came and said hey Thank You officer thank you so much I was in the bathroom I don't know how he got out I thought I had the door locked he called me the next day he was turned in he was turned in and part of the irony on that is it no longer for many becomes a let me explore that situation it's does your daddy hit you really when does he hit you have you ever been sent to bed without supper how long you see it for for many it almost becomes a we're gonna make sure that your parenting correctly I remember one time Mike my youngest my oldest son he used to bounce down the steps on his bottom so we had some bruises I told my wife do not send him to preschool I don't want to deal with that because by law they are bound to report that it's suspicious so don't send him I don't want to deal with it so you're right it's it's a very real thing but I tell parents you cannot parent and fear you have to be who you are and at some point hopefully this will swing back and some of these agencies won't be quite so intrusive another area where it's becoming just brand new with the new health care law's children are being asked by their pediatricians questions about the family they have nothing to do with discipline or abuse or the kind of food but do your parents own any guns and why our pediatricians now required by the federal government to ask children if there are guns in the house that what you know was illegal or not this is this is something that's very weird another area of intrusion I is even much more well that's now becoming common pediatricians must ask those questions they don't have to get answers by the will they don't that's right that's right you understand you don't have to get answers the kids do not have to answer those questions at all but they're going they have to ask but another area of great intrusion is the sexual education programs especially in the government schools that this should be the realm of parents the schools would say but the parents aren't doing it so somebody has to do it and I would say all right teach the parents how to talk about these issues the parents won't do it parents won't follow through here's the here's the argument the argument is not so so much that some of this stuff is being taught I was taught some of it in the ninth grade not the third or kindergarten yes I have advised many many parents when they asked me this question keep him home well yeah but then he'll be the only one and he'll feel odd or if he goes to the library so be it it's not the timing for your son or daughter exactly my son said something fascinating and he went to Catholic school he was probably first or second grade dad the only time I ever hear about drugs is it school not from the kids by the way okay good take a question for most junior artists man where you from Bethlehem Pennsylvania heaven which question several times you've mentioned confident parenting you know the word confident comes from two stems confit a with faith would you comment on that hey she's throwing in some Latin stuff so this is your turf okay see these are two the words I know okay give you out of the fool temper you know semper and ubi yeah the one of the things that is extremely important and I say this to couples when I'm preparing them for marriage if you love your spouse more than you love God or when you have children if you love your children more than your you love God you are asking for a catastrophe because at that point you will expect your spouse and/or your children to be as good as God but father my emotions are much straw toward my children I don't experience those kinds of emotions towards God I don't care I didn't say to have a feeling I said to love and that's where you put God first ahead of your spouse and as such you know whether you know of course the feelings look pretty strong for a spouse your child might be very strong however they too will pass and this is where a love commitment by which you really love God to be God and accept your spouse and your children as fellow sinners who are also equally loved by God then you will love your spouse and your children more than if you put them first because they they don't have the capacity to be first they will frustrate you inherently whereas God can be God and you accept that your spouse and children as they are and that sense of faith in God first and the love that flows from that faith will enable a good perspective on your spouse and children as fellow sinners who need God's mercy and wisdom and grace just as much as you do so her question confi day with faith you're saying that if you have God's perspective you can act with confidence because this is not just your opinion on how to live or how to raise children you are following God's guidance which if you don't understand it all the time it's still you have enough faith that it's the best way to live not only that but I would even add that I'm loving my spouse in a way to help her get to heaven where's my wife to get her husband into heaven and I'm loving my children not because of what they can do for me but because I want them to be so good that they go to heaven too and at that faith in what God does and and desires in terms of the holiness the morality the uprightness the virtue the love of truth the love of goodness and beauty those qualities are what I want to seek with my spouse and with my children so we all go to heaven and none of us end up in hell my wife says I'm the spiritual headache of the household see is only spiritual father were you from from Sioux Falls South Dakota good to have you here father well I'd appreciate the discussion going on and and the point of you know encouraging parents to do what's right and to work with their kids that way but I also know that Pope st. John Paul a second he specifically spoke of not imposing but proposing and I know you know the the approach is how about we ask the children and propose to them and they don't have them answer you know so how do you work that out parallels break down father first of all this is an adult to adult relationship that st. John Paul is talking about all right it's adult to adult he he is not responsible for raising me so he can't impose anything on me a parent on the other hand has to impose and the balance between imposing and proposing shifts as they get older I'm going to impose a lot on my five-year-old they don't have a reasoning capacity to understand why what I might propose would be good so I think that's a factor but I think deeper point that father brought up okay question father if NASA sends a space exploration vehicle towards Mars and they are off as they launch by point oh oh oh oh one degree how far off does that thing miss Mars by what see they would miss that like quite a few mosque because you're going millions of miles so you have to multiply that I forget how many million miles that is but you have to multiply that by the million number million miles between here and Mars which touches on the point father made which is most modern experts come from the idea that children are naturally cooperative that you can propose to them and they will come to understand you just need to be reasonable and come let us all talk together if that's wrong if Christianity is correct the children are not naturally cooperative they are naturally willful then every idea that comes from that erroneous idea will miss the mark by a million miles you will come up with theories and philosophies that flat out do not work because you started with the wrong premise I oftentimes say talk about the French philosopher Rousseau who talked about human beings as noble savages that if you just take away the rules of society government in the church people will naturally be noble savages and I point out he did he lock his doors well with you he sired a number of children but never raised a two-year-old so he had no ma'am were you from I'm from New Jersey your question and my question is I have observed in my generation of immigrants here in the United States that when our children were growing up they were somewhat confused by the influences of the outside culture and environment and when they come home they have to adhere to our values you know especially values related to values related to to staying out and yes family like so III don't know you know some of them you know turned out to be good you know some of my contemporaries children you know had problems and I don't know if this has anything to do with the fact that you know they're dealing with two different cultural values all right you know so do also grew up in a bilingual home and you know back when you only knew - yeah and you big dummy I know it but at but also my grandparents you from the old country my my parents are born here but you know that there was certainly this influence of another culture um forced you all my friends were Polish American too but you know so we had something uncommon but this is a real issue it's it's huge my experience has been that many of the folks from other cultures come with much stronger family ties their families are more cohesive what tends to happen is that the Americanization of their kids the kids get out there and the kids see hey well that's a lot cooler than the way my mom and dad think that's a lot more freedom than my mom and dad are giving me and that's so old controlled country I spend a lot of time trying to shore up parents from other cultures to basically have enough confidence that the way they're doing it is good the way we're doing it is not so good and so the best you can do is to adhere to your beliefs in your morals and then what happens happens but at least you can say I was true to what I believed to be true I didn't compromise to get along with the culture and I would end that it would be wise to tell let children know we have an important set of values to help America with we can help the American culture at this present state with some of this good sense we still bring instead of the dumb ideas we hear from the experts man were you from I'm living in New York and so New York in the question yes what you have said really applies to everybody whether they're immigrants or they're Americans because I think what we are dealing with right now is high-tech and also lack of role models in government and even in the family and I think you know for some families the parents have distinctive roles a father and a mother what we are seeing not because of the economic situation both parents have to work and sometimes the wife earns more money than the husband and they really have to change roles and that is a little bit of a discomfort because as as open-minded as this society is they still look down on a man playing the role of a house husband you know and that affects the children's upbringing you know so I think for parents they really have to be comfortable as to who they are whether they assume the role of being there you know the breadwinner or the or the child person anything that alters a parent's style whether it's guilt because I have to work whether it's insecurity because I'm a single mom is going to change how he or she raises the kids and they've done studies and what they found was given those kinds of constellations the big biggest single factor in raising the kid well is the parent being confident in being the parent rather than therefore you know my husband stays home and I have to work so we don't have quite a ideal situation the confidence in the parent that's why a good single mom as a confident parent can raise a great kid right right but you have to have that sense of confidence not just in me but in what I'm trying to come that's it it's not about my because I've also seen studies showing that sociopaths are the most self-confident people in the world that's right but that's but it's confidence in what's good but also we have run out of time completely I'm not done I know but yeah boy you're done all right so we have to go let me give you our blessing Almighty God bless you the Father the Son and the Holy Spirit and again we want to thank you for the support you give us still the summer a lot of years on vacations some kids are starting to go back to school but we certainly ask that when you do go away please try not to forget us in between your gas bill your electric bill in the cable bill because all summer long our bill collectors have not gone on vacation a day as ever so do please keep us in mind as well as all those who are we said at the beginning this show suffering over in the Middle East god bless you and thank you and thank you dr. ray was very much too long a heavy good night and God bless you

Channel: EWTN

Views: 9,265

Rating: 5 out of 5

Keywords: Catholic, EWTN, Christian, television, Ray Guarendi (Broadcast Artist), Eternal Word Television Network (TV Network)

Id: gnPdJWH5Lws

Length: 56min 36sec (3396 seconds)

Published: Thu Aug 14 2014