Dr. Ray Guarendi on Deep in Scripture

well good afternoon and welcome to deep in Scripture this is your host Marcus Grodi coming to you from the coming home network international studios and we're coming to you all for EWTN radio and our guest today is a good friend dr. ray guarendi dr. ray is a what you would call a revert to the Catholic faith and his we've just appeared last Monday night on the journey home program though he's been on the journey home before talking about his journey dr. ray is a well-known voice on Catholic radio as his own program called the doctor is in which can be heard weekdays he is the father of 10 clinical psychologist author public speaker nationally syndicated radio host his radio listings having me your radio and EWTN radio you can check them out for hearing his program at a stadium in your area you can also listen live online or on Sirius satellite radio on Channel 130 doctor Ray's experience includes school districts Head Start programs mental health centers substance abuse programs inpatient psychiatric centers juvenile courts and a private practice in other words he goes into the places most of us don't want to go so right right and a partridge in a pear tree so if you want to find out more about dr. ray wwr i am dr ra y dot-com thanks ready for joining us on deep in Scripture I know you were trying to wanted to retitle this program shallow yes I didn't like your attitude you know I get out of the program and I get into my car usually a few minutes after 2 o'clock Eastern Time ok so frequently you're there this is going to be bizarre getting out of my program getting into my car and then listen to me again well I've invited you to join this program because other than your resume you are internationally known internationally legal scholar Galactic he's gonna make galactically known let's I mean let's not hold back but realizing and that though you were an evangelical you're brought up Catholic but you're an evangelical for a good number eight ten years or so before you return to the church so Scripture is very much a part of your life though that's not your you're not a scholar of course in that area and I'm not my meme reason for saying that is that I'm expecting of them but I'm just you're not expecting much from this show is that Marcus I'm a trained psychologist I hear what you're not saying shallow in Scripture no deep and other things though yeah well go there either anyway we are doing this program a little different this time because what I am doing rather than have you choose the scriptures for us that I am dropping a few on you and the reason is seriously with as a Catholic who's a psychologist that deals with people they're thinking virtues and vices how helping people in all the places that you say you're involved with headstart programs mental health centers stubs and substance abuse programs I mean how do you help people move on to live a life in which they could stand before God without embarrassment assuming they want to that's so it's hard enough when you want is right but getting somebody to get to wanna do that and the scriptures that you've agreed to look at that I suppose you could say I dumped on you our scriptures were Paul is dropping a bomb on us as followers of Jesus Christ I wish you'd have thrown in a few more qualifiers hmm wish he would have yea because some of these statement these verses that we're going to look at today are I'm almost positive most of you listeners have heard of before you've heard them at weddings you've heard them from the pulpit you may have read them they're out there they're great they're certainly inspired advice we're not being critical in Scripture or critical of st. Paul what we're looking at especially that's why I'm suggesting them for you to look at Ray is because as a psychologist dealing with marriages parents and children difficult situations people are some of them don't care about living a holy life some of them would like to live a holy life some of our viewers know these are what Paul calls us to live but how do I get there and I think what you're saying is where are the qualifiers and some of these verses that we're going to I'm going to read here in a moment our listeners know by heart mm-hmm may even have knitted into a doily or into a a wall hanging there as the model of their marriage yeah but how do you do it and so the let's go to the first one okay and after the middle break maybe we'll go to the second collection Hey yes hurry up hurry up get to the first one come on hurry up how am I gonna wait here how long go first Corinthians 13:4 second dr. ray listen to the first one fine listen to the first verse love is patient oh and kind love is not jealous or boastful it is not arrogant or rude love does not insist on its own way it is not irritable or resentful oh yeah oh yeah it does not rejoice at wrong but rejoices in the right love bears all things believes all things hopes all things endures come on now you're familiar Marcus with the the inadequacy of language to express truth yes we have these infinite truths that God wants to give us and he binds himself to the English language love is patient Marcus you've got three boys don't you raise three boys yes I have so does that mean that when one of your sons got himself in a mood at age 11 and he was arguing with you you needed to sit there and be patient you needed to say well okay I know you're frustrated but tell me some more I'm trying not to react you're right I really want to punish you but but go ahead I want love to be patient go ahead and kind I'm kind I'm feeling irritable and I really want to send you to bed right now but I need to be kind about this you see the problem dinner almost for me and I'm okay I'm gonna overanalyze this I'm a shrink I overanalyze love is patient where love is kind when my wife says that the new Christian virtue is kindness she says the problem with that is we want other people to be kind to us that's the new virtue be kind don't be truthful if it hurts my feelings don't set boundaries on me if I don't want them set you need to be kind to me which translates into treat me the exactly I want to be treated according to my psychological needs and preferences so what does Paul mean I mean you said earlier today the three verses clear somethings clear oh yeah there are three different I used to use these as three categories of the kinds of verses as a Protestant minister that that there were clear verses cloudy versus stormy versus clear versus at least in my opinion needed no further explanation they just said what they said and there it is John 3:16 God so loved the world the cloudy verses are ones that I'm not sure how they fit with my theology but if I come up with an answer or some person I respect comes up with an explanation I have a knee-jerk answer now how to fit that verse into my thinking so they're no longer quite as cloudy they can become clear once I get an answer the storm reverses I don't know how to fit those in with my theology they are my thinking and so we would avoid those we would leave them aside see these are cloudy for me somebody walks into my office and oftentimes part of their problem is that they're too patient they're putting up with too much and the interesting thing is they're not always doing it out of love they're doing it because they're insecure they're doing it because they don't want conflict they're doing it because they think somehow in some twisted way they got to be a doormat so they are patient but it's not out of love it's out of some kind of misperception some kind of neediness I guess when I look at this verse Marcus love is patient I'm trying to put it in the context of okay what does God want up me here where does he want my love to be patient for me is the way I wrestle with this yeah well in the context here we have Paul not able to get to the church where the problems had and there we have a bunch of Christians that are having a problem they're not quite getting along and it's a long list of the problems at corinth right one of which is this issue of spiritual gifts and people are saying you know I've got this spiritual gift you got yours mine's better than yours all those arguments about all the different spiritual issues and what he's trying to say in the thirteen is gang all these other issues there's really a more core important issue and that's love and you can have tongues you can have all these things but in the end if you don't have love you got enough so there's the context and so now he's describing love and what it is no the problem is which I think you're you're hitting on but I'm going for a different angle is that at the core of it the Bible alone doesn't answer the question that you're talking about love is patient and kind now is that saying that how do I know if I love well I'm patient therefore I must love my twenty one year old son is a bum who refuses to get a job he lives in my house he plays video games and I'm not gonna get him out because I'm being patient so I must love I must love I must love therefore I'm kind you know you you have put your finger on it that and by the way you have big hands with for Jesus you would put your finger on it because I'll get people calling me therapy professionally personally and they'll say I can't ask my son to leave the house I'm not sure I'm Christian allowed they take this as love is patient love is kind it's limitless in its patience and limitless in his kindness and I'm not sure that's what Paul meant to say I think what you said is more accurate which is hey guys you're not even exhibiting the barest minimum of this stuff you're not even being kind we're supposed to be kind or patient we're supposed to be patient and the question is if you just look at the Bible and read it well I don't know it's not giving me a list the the problem of Bible alone Sola scriptura is that depending on what pastor and what their psychological background is themselves and what they're dealing with you can make this verse use it and you could you abuse it or personally I'm feeling jealous I'm being tempted to be jealous but therefore it says love is not jealous therefore I must not love because I'm feeling jealous it's not dealing the fact just because you're tempted to be jealous does that have any connection to whether I'm loving or not a feeling as opposed to the reality of love maybe I might be feeling jealous because of a situation but I recognize that that feeling is wrong and so I don't act on it this doesn't describe any of that I'm a dead man if I were to think about my feelings as sins I'm a dead man my feelings are all over the place last night I'm playing ball pitch to a guy called third strike he got mad I got mad like I was strike three no wasn't raised yes it was yeah I'd be sitting most of the time because feelings come and go that's why we need that church to basically flesh this out for me you leave me alone to flesh this out Marcus everybody who comes into my office has their own interpretation of the world and a large part of their problem is because the way they interpret the world and other people is misguided and irrational I need that church that been commissioned by God if the church wasn't commissioned by God then it's just a bunch of people giving me their opinion well the important thing about this is we live in a culture that sees love as a feeling if patience is a feeling if kindness is in other words I'm just if I feel kind of kind if I don't feel kind then I'm not kind the Lord's Prayer in which we are called to forgive us our debts as we also have forgiven our debtors and then Jesus says for if you forgive men their trespasses your heavenly Father will also forgive you but if you do not forgive men their trespasses neither will your father forgive you is forgiveness I feel I'm dead if it is because how long does it take to get over some of these feelings you know god forbid that some great tragedy would happen in somebody's family worth where a teenage driver was killed by a drunk driver you know and the teenage person dies in the drunk driver has a broken arm you know the the how long is it gonna take you know the parent gonna say well four years later I finally forgiven and in that time I was estranged from God because I couldn't not forgive because this feeling plagued me for four years you're dead is this a constant constant issue that you encounter as a psychologist humble that see that feelings are the foundation for all the psychology has led the charge I have a manuscript I'm working on now on anger and I'm talking about in our feelings our authentic culture there's a great line that Ravi Zacharias you remember Rob who's a crash from your evangelical days mm-hmm I gotta get this right because it's so profound how do you reach a culture that hears with its eyes and thinks with its feelings how do you reach a culture that hears with its eyes and thinks with its feelings psychology has taught us that the authentic Marcus Grodi is that feeling in him that is patient or is not patient so therefore how long and how strong is that feeling have to be before you don't have it anymore you get down to like 22% of what it was you know so now you're forgiving cuz you were you know you were you were loaded with unforgiveness there for about a year and a half but you didn't act on it you prayed for the person you forced yourself to pray for the person said your God I don't want to pray for this guy but I'm gonna pray for a please bless him please bring him to repentance I ask you this I say it out loud but Marcus you didn't feel like saying it invalid ah no good prayer you see what happens we're wired for feelings and these feelings happen as often times are automatic you punched me in the face my first feeling right now is anger right now there's nothing I'm gonna do about it it's reflexive it's wired into me it's anger I want to retaliate and for that period of time I've got to use my god-given resources to stop that if I don't I'm nothing but a walking moment-by-moment feeling almost everybody who walks in my office know what they say I can't help the way I feel how do I not feel this way remember that old song the feelings are gone yes I think Barry Manilow had one about that you know so in other words the love is gone same one time I happened to be watching The Love Boat it wasn't one of my favorite shows by any means but I happened to turn it on and they had 200 families on The Love Boat who were all engaged couples and they're being married on the love boat and the captain you know to the whole group I they filled in their name take the I feel their name too to love you and you know I pronounce you man and wife for as long as you both shall love how sad and in the soup of our culture that sees love as a feeling that probably didn't last as long as the boat ride and but I'd love you to dress this now though talk about from your experience what is love then as an act how do you describe that to your console ease by recognizing that the love that has talked about by Paul and the church is an act of the will the first step I tell them as you can't retaliate that's the first step you just can't retaliate alright that's if that's the if that's where you live for the next six months then let's so be it but you just cannot entertain vengeance retaliation justification slash back you can't that is different than that's how should we put this that's not related feelings that's an act now somebody might say yeah but my feelings are so strong they're gonna drive me to do that but let me just pause there because that's what some of these verses are saying when you look at these things as not feelings but these are acts of the will then love bears all things believes hopes and doors is not irritable or resentful it's not I love or not because I feel this but if you are called to love your spouse you are going to at least choose to be this way it's gonna take a while by grace to get their life but you're choosing it's not that you're passively measuring your feelings regardless of your feelings you are choosing for example not to retaliate you are making that choice the act if you want to call it holiness that's kind of a maybe a little bit of an arrogant word I think you shouldn't refer to acts of holiness when referring to yourself but but the holiness in the act comes from the effort that's really I've gotten older yeah that's why priests will tell you sometimes folks will ask priests oh you know dia you start to get a cynical view of people when you just listen to confession after confession and you see although the wretchedness and the pagan muck that sits underneath these supposedly Christian people and the priest will tell you no no as a matter of fact it raises my view of people because they see the honest struggle yeah I have a marriage book and in the marriage book I talk about apologies and I also talk about why people don't apologize they don't apologize and one of them is I don't feel sorry I'd feel like a hypocrite if I said to my spouse I'm sorry I talked to you that way I'm not sorry I talk to you that way so I'm not gonna say it until I feel it well then forget it you weren't going to say it it'll be two weeks down the road and you'll go Adam I can bring it up now exactly I think I think Paul here I think he's trying to grasp this monster concept Marcus I got that I ever explain to you my concentric theory of love no but I don't want to hear it now this way men love does not insist on its own way see you just were unloving to me now I am an enormous ly loving individual you know why because I love 99.999 nine nine nine nine percent of the people in the world I don't know so I love them now as I move closer to my little leaves about a hundred thousand people we're moving in now that's the way outside of the concentric circle now we move into my acquaintances people that I know in some superficial social I love most of them mistreat them I don't get mad at them all come on add another three thousand in air that I love I we move in another layer of a concentric circle it's the neighbor lady never lady that I kind of see most of the time she's all right but I'll tell you what I don't like her all that much now I'm into the really concentric circle my kids my father-in-law my aunt my wife my grandmother oh okay but that's really only a relative handful of people and I struggle to love a 99.99999 come on that's pretty high that's my theory this whole love thing it has no meaning unless it's in your face there's where the meaning is I can love the blind boy in Borneo if I could help model would you know I'd send them some money but my brat son well the context here of course is the Christian community and as brothers and sisters through baptism one body one church we are one parallels marilee marriage in other words the two become one well through baptism we've all become one body of Christ so that's the context we therefore are called to love well how should that look if I'm to love you whether I feel for you or not or not you know how how am I to live that out very least don't do any evil to me at the very most do good to me and it says I am to be patient with you not am I feel but the for you and I to live together in this community I am to be patient I am to be kind that doesn't mean compromise what's true I am to be not jealous of you because of what or boastful see that's easy those are specifics most it is not arrogant or rube does not insist on its own way is not irritable he's dealing with leaders in the church that are having problems in this Christian community does not rejoice it wrong but rejoices in the right that's the what I'm supposed to do Aydin Friday okay I got there off now that's Loudy old salt I struggle with that verse right there bears all things what do you mean by bears all things what am I supposed to bear what am I supposed to not bear yeah yeah thank you stuff there's pause there we're going to take a break dr. ray guarendi is joining me today on deep in Scripture we're looking at 1st Corinthians and we'll come back we look at Philippians for I'm Marcus Grodi your host coming from the coming home network International and you're hearing us on EWTN your global Catholic radio get an insider's look at the latest information from EWTN sign up for wings EWTN 'z weekly email newsletter get the latest information about live events special features and guests connect with EWTN on YouTube Facebook and Twitter just go to ewtn.com and click on the wings link to sign up don't miss a minute of all that's happening at ewtn get your wings today hi this is Jerry usher reminding you to listen to vocation boom radio Saturday at 5:00 p.m. Eastern exclusively on the EWTN global Catholic radio network each week I bring you dynamic interviews with bishops priests vocation directors even seminarians and those who support them all in an effort to assist the Holy Spirit in what is truly a vocation boom around the world that's vocation boom radio Saturdays at 5 p.m. Eastern only on EWTN radio CH Resources is excited to offer you Marcus Grodi latest book thoughts for the journey home if you're not Catholic but are looking seriously at the Catholic Church or if you've recently entered the church this Pope will provide you with wisdom and encouragement for the journey and if you're a lifelong Catholic it makes a great gift for family and friends you're hoping will to order a copy visit our website at CH network.org or call us at 1-866-448-4843 ray guarendi who's the popular host of the doctor is in on ewtn radio and Ave Maria radio awesome ray we we we we wrapping up first corinthians 13 but we kind of cut it off in verse seven i do want to go back to that because as you said the other verses when we understand love as a choice love is an act and that these other characteristics that paul gave are our acts actions we choose to be this way he's telling this group of christians gang you are called to love and this is the way it should look regardless how you feel about each other you've been brought together by baptism but verse seven and you'll drop some very difficult things because they're concepts that it's hard for us to not think of apart from how we feel love bears all things believes all things hopes all things endures he repeats all things four times obviously he doesn't mean that literally I'm not gonna bear all things by kids taking drugs I've got a bear that you know love hopes all things well I don't hope you die I mean obviously he doesn't mean that clearly but this is one of those verses for me Marcus that if if you just read Scripture and you just read verse and you set up some kind of moral theology on the basis of the verse you wouldn't even you wouldn't even know what to do with this that's the problem indoors all things I'm guessing that you console couples sometimes that have physical abuse going on and you just tell the woman hey just pull it up with it yeah he was an alcoholic and he spent your kids college fund and you're in you're in $600,000 debt wow you just got a just gotta bear it you gotta hope it changes you got indirect yeah you're right I mean obviously Paul would not mean that right but again these are verses that like you say they sound like they make living sense until you look and say I got some questions but what tends to happen is people don't want to say I got question because it makes you sound kind of doubting well and especially when you're a pastor and you're preaching on these verses and you're posed to know-it-all and you recognize yourself from your counseling it's tough and that's why I'm very grateful that we look at scripture through the eyes of the church and we have the wealth of philosophy through st. Thomas Aquinas we have the wealth of spiritual through jonatha cross we have our wonderful teachers we've had for 2,000 years that helped us understand sacrifice but also what love is supposed to be and in relationships there are boundaries when when a relationship is wrong you know there are things that we are to do but we aren't always the ones ourselves that decided we have spiritual leaders that will help us understand sometimes I wonder turn out on the chase too far off the track here but I wonder you know you know as well as I do going from one language to another you know depending upon the translation you know did did Paul is that really the best translation bears all things you know would it be something like love bears up for believe it's that kind of wish yeah right I hadn't thought about it we could looked up some other verses beforehand to see other translations to see but I think what it tells me is within reason that's the point of the the boundaries the church puts on us we are called to bear all things believe all things hopeth all things endureth ings and then within reason of course within the context we know with the theology have offered up we do know that suffering is not something to always be avoided because one could easily say well obviously I'm not suppose to endure all things who determines the level at which I endure suffering what was left to ourselves we might not endure any suffering and just take whatever drug we can get to make sure I never suffer at all or we can recognize the church says there is certain value within suffering so therefore to a certain extent we cannot as it says back in proverbs 3:5 and 6 I cannot lean on my own understanding because of my own understanding of this generally I'm gonna do what's good for me somebody asked me one time you know when I'm confused by a verse like this or I'm confused by what to do and I go to my priest and he gives me advice what if that's just his opinion you know what if that isn't something that the majority of priests would agree with and so I I pursue it I follow it and I think of my grandmother's my grandmother died when she was 97 and educated to the 3rd or 6th grade came over from Italy went immediately to the local Catholic parish and the priest said the way it was ok she didn't go to a catechism she didn't she if the preset it that's at okay now obviously the priest being human could give her bad advice could give her bad guidance so would my grandmother be wrong in this know that the the sanctity and what my grandmother did was the obedience to the priest in sincerity yeah she could have been wrong you know he gave her terrible advice you know Rose if Angelo does that again you don't talk to him for three weeks teach him a lesson you know okay well she would probably would been inclined to do anyway so her her holiness her scriptural morality was predicated on her obedience a much larger concept when I think about this passage it's a good one to prayerfully consider before you go to mass because it makes sense when then after you read this and you look at yourself well do I love how do I stack up and rather than beat myself it just drives me to my knees when I have to say Lord I am not worthy to receive you but only say the word nice shall be healed you know Marcus this love bears all things believes all things hopes all things endures all things I look at that and I'm thinking you know if I could like bear like 12% of things I'd be doing better than I'm doing so rather than saying well you know wait a minute I can invalidate this version because I doesn't mean bears all things lobby's literally doesn't mean that yeah but I know what he's saying and he's saying you got to bear more than your bear in here exactly you know our our model is not the best human being we know it's our Lord Jesus and you use those five points on me in the journey home program you know when we're expecting too much of ourselves and we say and you look at Jesus couldn't get people to follow him look who he was who are you expecting but yet we look at him and that is the model and first John chapter 4 there is a big section on what love is and it's using Jesus and our Father in heaven as the model for love God love we love because He first loved us and so we look at the way God is patient with us he is kind with us you know in these issues but doesn't mean he's saying I'm okay you're okay we're all okay so what the hey you know in other words we are called to grow and be different to grow more like him to grow in perfection to move better not just be satisfied with I bear 12% of the things but that's maybe where I'm at so I need to move to 15 then to 30 and then to 50 by grace maybe the better thing to for us would be look at it and say what do I need to bear you know one of the problems you haven't said car if somebody comes in for counseling insight is not a common characteristic it is not I mean how many times have you heard people say well doesn't she see what she's like what she complains about in other people she's that way or soft don't you see that or you you try to point out to somebody a personality quirk and they look at you like what are you talking about insight is not a quantity quality that we we naturally grasp well maybe I better look at myself and say I got to see deep in me am I not doing what I should be doing according to Paul maybe there was a group of people he was addressing than they thought they loved I'm sure you're I think you put it right I think it right now they thought they lied again they didn't think that there was any need for growth right word in fact I got spiritual gifts man I got a baptized I'm in the church I'm a believer what's a what's next pastor catalyst let's look at this let's look at why are you patient are you kind not I feel but are you being patient with one another are you being kind you know this whole feeling thing somebody walk in the office and if we try to focus on love being an act they may resist that because they'll feel like a hypocrite if they don't feel the act I'm going through the motions I'm just I'm just doing that because you'll get a spousal do this Marcus a spouse will say well I suppose I could do that and the other spouse will say well I don't want you to do it if you're just doing it for me I want you to want to do it and I'll look and I'll say wait a moment that's the best motive the best motive is that she's doing it for you even though she doesn't want to do it know that that's viewed as what good is it if you don't truly desire to do it and you're only doing it because it's a good supposed to do thing like how do we get so topsy-turvy very good I'm just gonna pick one other verse from another Paul Dehn letter that I think you deal with in its Philippians 4 verse and let me read this have no anxiety about anything but in everything by prayer and supplication with Thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God let me go on and the peace of God which passes all understanding will keep your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus you know you put those two verses together it seems to me that that would just solve all of your problems as a counselor in other words just tell your people listen just have no anxiety pray about it and God's peace will come on your life does that make it easy for actually what it does for a lot of people is it makes them feel worse because obviously if I have anxiety I'm not the Christian I should be and to the degree that I might feel blue and moody and depressed Wow okay I'm not trusting in God okay I'm not doing what scripture says I knew it I knew it I knew it forget it I just can't do this Christian walk thing you know that's why you in a lot of the early psychological theories Freud and those guys they called religion a neurosis because they basically said look what it does to people makes them feel guilty makes them feel bad makes them look at themselves as as as less wonderful than they really are and therefore what we have to do is take that away from them well how do you take it away from him you take away the religious expectations get rid of it there's where the catch is on that yeah well how do you I mean he does it later admit if you read down farther in that that's not in the passage I have here but he is he says back in let's see I find at the if you go on there where he says that he has learned to be content in all situations yeah in in verse 12 I know how to be abased and I know how to abound in any and all circumstances I have learned the secret of facing Plenty and hunger abundance and want I can do all things and what strengthens me he's learned this it's a process but I'm thinking I'm good majority the people that come to you anxiety is their big issue it's number one symptom followed by depression usually the two go together you said Paul has learned this do you really think what he was saying was whether I'm being starved or whether I'm in the midst of believers I'm content either way it doesn't really matter um oh I feel the same either way no real big is that what he's really saying do you think well I think he's well I mean what do you think I think he's learned to see it differently there it is he's not necessarily happy when he's being starved he doesn't like that condition but at the same time he has probably put it in context he said if this is the Lord's will for me or if this is my life in the Lord all right I won't view it like I used to view it you know you see you see so many religious people are struck with great tragedy and if you read their email or you read on CaringBridge there's a lot of faith that comes through you know I'm trying to trust in the Lord I'm trying to accept what the future holds you know I recognize that all of this is in God's hands and he'll work it out for the best way I mean I believe they believe that and I think for them that's their way of saying I'm trying to be content I'm trying not to be knocked over you know turn the lights out shut it down I'm going home kind of thing yeah well that's where that's why of course if we just took verse 12 which I just read a bit ago and left it alone it would be encouraging people that's it's about your intellect it's about you getting control of yourself controlling situation but he says in verse 13 I can do all things in him who strengthens me there's a context we're going to take another break as you're more well aware of in your own radio program and then we'll come back in just a moment you're listening to deep in Scripture mister Marcus Grodi joined today by dr. ray guarendi and hearing us on EWTN global Catholic radio network the coming home network international is a non profit Catholic Way apostolate dedicated to helping Protestant clergy and laity come home to the Catholic Church it was founded by Marcus Grodi the host of this program as well as the journey home television program on EWTN if you are on the journey and interested in learning more about the coming home network International or know someone who's thinking of becoming Catholic please visit our website WWE are G or contact us at welcome back to deep in Scripture as you just heard I'm here today with the family answer guy in between times here I've got dr. ray guarendi here who's got a program the doctor is in and just as you said you think people do sometimes approach you as a counsellor as if you got all the answers we have over-promised do you think politicians have over-promised psychologists have really over-promised sweep we put ourselves up as we have the answers the cures the techniques the approaches the therapies for all of life's ills and if you have this problem just get counseling just get therapy and you'll do that you know it's interesting in the late 50s and 60s there were a lot of movies where the hero of the movie was the psychiatrist there was a number of those where like was one called the the bad seed where the question was whether criminal activity could be inherited and passed on well in the end that the person that tied the whole thing together was the psychiatrist psychologist who had the answers to all of life but you don't see those movies quite as reality one even when I was trained I was trained in the 70s there was an awful awful lot of views out there that essentially said with the right techniques with the right approach with the right assessment we can pretty much do it awful lot of stuff here but that they left the human out of the equation you know and now instead of the bad seed with the psychiatrist being here you got what about Bob with neurotic messed up psychiatrist this verse we were looking at before the break the Philippians for let me read this again because I think there's a key passage which I think makes all the difference in the world Paul could have written this passage this way he could have said have no anxiety about anything but in everything by prayer and supplication let your requests be made known to God and that would say okay don't worry about it just pray and got to answer but he added a phrase and I am certain not by accident he added the phrase have no anxiety about anything but in everything by prayer and supplication with Thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God from your experience and train what is the importance of an attitude of Thanksgiving I heard a phrase once it is hard to be depressed when you're grateful now obviously there's a certain percentage of depression as biochemically based or course and in certain percentage of depression that are just reactions to terrible tragedies and crises in life but for most people I think it's safe to say that depression comes from this vague kind of discontent with life discontent with marriage discontent with my kids discontent with me and it it builds on itself after a while and pretty soon it just Rob's you of your zest takes it away the question becomes how do you be grateful if you say grateful is a feeling we're back where we started minutes ago and that doesn't last for it doesn't last you can walk outside and go oh look at this beautiful cornfield across from the coming home network oh dear lord thank you for letting me see it oh I feel so good yeah please forgive me when I when I've just been so bummed out about what happened this morning with my car I'm just sorrow yes and I'm driving home and as soon as I hit 77 I forgot about the cornfield now I'm ticked at my car and the guy that ripped me off again I believe gratitude is like weightlifting walk into a weight room and you see some guy benching 300 pounds bar underneath me I hurt myself and the guy looks at you and says you know I was smaller than you when I started lifting 12 years ago I got benched 105 pounds I weighed 160 I weighed 195 now I benched 300 maybe reps of six he trained himself to get to that point gratitude is training how much do you focus upon the minutia of your life for example new you and I went out to a buffet restaurant a couple hours ago and we said prayers we said prayers before we made gluttons of ourselves which I think there's a little bit of a theological incongruity there you didn't you ate healthily I was the pig now you ain't healthy as a pig I did I was a very healthy pig yeah so I'm a lean Pig so given that I you know we thank the Lord but maybe I don't way home I gotta go you know Lord thank you again thank you again having never known hunger in my life I've never known hunger or last night playing ball dear God thank you for letting me run the base I made it the first around 15 I know I can run your God look at this I'm putting one foot in front of the other some people can't put one foot in front of the other you know dear God look at that moon I can't I'd not paid attention to the gorgeousness of that I mean it's just a day in and day out focusing on all of this little bits and pieces that make up the fabric of your life that you don't pay attention to and you know thank God for and that training and gratitude pretty soon you're you're benching 300 grateful pounds the there's a psalm that every priest bishop religious praise almost every day Psalm 95 and they can choose an alternatives in the in the daily office when they start in the morning and I don't think it's any accident that that the church chooses for that to be the psalm that people begin with there's a lot of we could spend our talking about all the levels but one of the things that it begins with well come with a sing to the Lord let us make a joyful noise to the rock of our salvation that's a call to do that it's not a feeling let us come into his presence with Thanksgiving we begin the day with that let us make a joyful noise to him with songs of praise for the Lord is a great God in the kingdom of all God's in his hands are the depths of the earth the heights of the mountains are is also the sea is is for he made it for his hand formed the dirt the dry land at the core of our Christian faith is a belief that God is the creator of everything from nothing that's where our thankfulness begins we begin with the recognition that every single my new of our life is somehow a gift of God in nine to be time of year my body might these things everything just cars somehow to us every gift of God's love you were born 50 - thank you 50 you know how do you have parents that taught you the faith did you pretty much so yes my mother particularly you realize what a minority you were in in all the people who have ever lived do how to know the name of Jesus Christ and to not only know it but to have been given the grace to truly live it and embrace it do you realize what a minority you're in the ultimate in gratitude dear God in the measure of infinity in the mystery of your will you have allowed me to know you that is mind-numbing if you focus on it if you dwell on it if you say why me I I was raised by true Catholic parents who taught me the faith who took me to church who made sure I got the sacraments in we're in twentieth-century America where Canton Ohio why I don't know somehow God put me there he could have just as easily put me in China where the majority of the folks don't know anything about Jesus Christ he could have put me anyplace else in the world where the other five billion non-christians live what luck of the draw no it's that statement but for the grace of God go I okay they've done surveys do you know who among the most ungrateful people in all cultures are I'm not sure I want you you know where you know where it's gone u.s. third-world countries are much more content than us and they're generally probably much more grateful why because we just don't focus on what we have anymore we just focus on what we don't have and so as a result we've lost training we can't bench we can't bench even 105 anymore now I just focus on what I half my car broke down you got a car for heaven's sake you know we don't we don't we don't train ourselves to that's training it's exercising you know yeah this is this the key of gratefulness is the appreciation that everything we've had which were called to use faithfully which is what Paul's talking about didn't first Corinthian this is the way you're supposed to use your life this is the way you're supposed to love one another you choose to do this but you begin with a gratefulness that I love you God says we begin we love because He first loved us and so with that gratefulness it gives us a launching pad to be able to love woman we ran out of time my friend I'm grateful that you had me I am too will encourage the audience to go to the doctor is in when is it air one o'clock Eastern Standard Monday through Friday Monday through Friday all right thank you my friend thank you thank you all for joining us we are grateful to you listening to us in fact we would love to hear from you go to WC h network.org and let us know god bless you look forward to being with you next time

Channel: The Coming Home Network International

Views: 18,091

Rating: 4.8423643 out of 5

Keywords: ray guarendi, marcus grodi, scripture, bible study, counseling, psychology

Id: lI5cORu94f4

Length: 53min 10sec (3190 seconds)

Published: Wed Sep 14 2011