Everything Wrong With Suicide Squad: Hell to Pay In 22 Minutes Or Less

[Music] i'm good to go punch and julie not so sure discount christian oh that is christian slater fine discount will smith she asked me if her dress made her look fat she's gotten cranky since she lost weight cranky after a comment like that i'd be grateful that waller hadn't immediately detonated my head and replaced me with deathstroke red hood huntress or you know literally anyone with decent aim okay team we've got deadshot referencing that waller has lost weight we've got her heading into an mri machine we've got her in the doctor's office looking angry and sad i don't know i just don't think we're making it clear enough perfect we're just having our second honeymoon anywhere we can not on my time convict waller's voice can be heard before the tv even powers on the only one who gets satisfied tonight is me why is waller in near darkness for this video i get that the big bads usually want to hide their identities but doesn't everyone here already know who she is and what she looks like in fact i'm impressed they managed to keep her face unilluminated if this is a video call shouldn't her face be lit up by the screen on her end your target is an underboss in the black mask mob tobias whale why is this briefing happening when the squad is mere minutes away from their target as opposed to back at walter's office where they can be briefed in full ask questions go over no just run in and shoot all righty then tonight he's delivering a flash drive full of nastiness straight out of the too hot for pornhub series i find it totally insane that when waller sets up these bad guy teams she allows the villains to wear these unsightly costumes especially this one with the jester hat and the dangling coming off his vest this is a [ __ ] safety hazard one i'm sure ed nemone has a whole rant about if you ever dare to ask this [ __ ] henchman is chewing gum reading a magazine and has headphones on i mean they don't even let you do that when you work at best buy but a criminal organization hires thugs and lets this [ __ ] happen as it turns out it doesn't really matter because deadshot kills the other more alert guy at the same time i'm going to further question walla's decision to hire a married couple who pda their way through a mission this guard here in the foreground is just biding his time until he gets a promotion to stripper view guard i know julia comes out of this fine but wouldn't it have been a good idea to lead with the bad guy bifurcation or at least slice off the gun holding arm first how the generic henchman number 14 managed to miss julie from that distance and in that tiny corridor i'm sorry but she should be filled with more bullets than an nra national convention i choose to ignore the chances of something happening to me while i tell you this time is an illusion did this guy just have the flash drive in his pockets the whole time he didn't put it in a lock box or anything flash drives are always looking for reasons to leave your pockets dude this would have been lost if it wasn't stolen first i'd rather not kill him at the same wound she'd wonder about that i say we let the train run him over you can't just take any of the many guns in the stripper car and just fill deadshot full of holes she knew there was a traitor somewhere well duh waller is working with a group of elite criminals they're all traders in some fashion why is this a surprise this is like hiring a t-rex as a croupier for your brand new casino and then being shocked despite his great references when he can't shuffle for and eats the damn guests julie's head bomb takes forever to explode so that we can see what a merciful [ __ ] deadshot is just saving on the dry cleaning i'm afraid that particular ship has not only sailed but has since been sunk and is currently the focus of a james cameron expedition for his latest documentary hey i'm not judging the man anything that keeps us one year further away from that avatar sequel is fine by me so to summarize one sin for suicide squad one sin for avatar and once in for shyalan's last airbender for good measure i'm not some vestigial twin you can excise like a skin tag can you remove vestigial twins that easily asking for an auto site just show me again doc one more time i mean personally i don't need to see it but maybe an unseen audience needs to see it so that the movie can reveal that i'm two-face this is an operating theater not some abattoir what does this guy mean by abba tour how is that in any way app to what's going on here this guy sees metal claws and all he can think of is fernando someone should take this pig to the slaughterhouse you really label a folder prognosis terminal when you're treating a patient it's like your prognosis is more important than their own name they obviously return this letter because the address on the front was unreadable it's your little girl isn't it is captain boomerang only proficient with object shaped like boomerangs i mean how useful can this possibly be for a supervillain what's he gonna do knock someone out tie them to a giant boomerang and fire them into space wait he did to the flash and it worked you heard a killer frost the ice queen yeah crystal frost a tough girl from a tougher home waller continues to share this backstory despite deadshot confirming that he had indeed heard of killer frost waller may as well have handed a big case file directly to the audience labeled prognosis exposition i like how this flashback is told with dirt and scratches on the film like someone was there with a film camera to catch killer frost's origin story only a matter of days before this girl starts freezing people ken burns often said the magazine says tabloid but what the [ __ ] is it really on the front cover there's a picture of wheels of cheese or water decontamination facility or some the last is bronze tiger aka ben turner if it weren't for his vow never to take an innocent life i'd put him in charge wait why is a vow to never take an innocent life a bad thing i know the suicide squad was set up specifically to do the shadier [ __ ] that a government organization like argus can't get caught doing but if the end goal is to ultimately protect the public surely a vow like this not only makes bronze tiger their best case super villain but also the perfect choice for team leader do the destructo chips only last one mission if not why is deadshot going through this forced insertion when we've already seen him on a mission ah maybe these things are manufactured by apple you get all excited with your brand new destructo chip but it's obsolete within 12 months which forces you to buy a new destructo chip so you can carry on tick-tock booming your employees heads he calls himself steel maxim seriously well if that's not the pot of iced tea calling the kettle frosty i don't know what it is this one's off the grid you'll be dealing with me directly and only me isn't the entire point of the suicide squad to be off the grid who else would they be dealing with reaffirming this point just risks the squad suspecting that the card is important specifically to waller a fact she probably should keep under wraps based on the 13 double crosses we've seen in the opening 18 minutes alone i told you before waller i don't take orders from murderers why did waller even bother with this one guy who won't take orders because of principle when there are surely many other tough guy criminals who could be on this mission waiting until the last minute emergency or exit lane this dude starts passing the winnebago but apparently stays neck and neck long enough so that the kid in the backseat can make faces at this lizard dude for nearly 10 seconds you're late to your waste of flesh why are they always late branson the man they're tracking he's been spotted they're looking for work but waller told us that he's been hard to track down suggesting he's gone into hiding or is constantly on the move why is this dude so hard to find if he's just camping out in branson looking for work when leon schlesinger founded warner brothers cartoons back in the 30s we all remember that famous memo where he wrote one day we'll have a wisecracking bunny a stuttering pig and a coyote that endlessly chases a roadrunner which will naturally one day lead to strippers in the batman universe deadshot shows this picture of steel maxum and never pulls out the one with his [ __ ] stamp expecting people to recognize a guy wearing sunglasses a [ __ ] stamp is a dead giveaway but sure show people the picture least likely to refresh someone's memory we're moving to the next club it's him banshee oh crap boy it sure is convenient that both these teams ended up at the same club at the perfect time to catch the thrusting pharaoh here i mean deadshot was just about to move the team on to the next club which means they weren't 100 positive they were going to find captain banana hammock at this club at all and since the other bad guys were working from the same information isn't there a good chance that their search could have started at a totally different club as well steel maxim's [ __ ] stamp is clearly visible before he pulls off his shorts but that's what it takes for any of these suicide squadrons to figure out is who they're looking for i don't understand why zoom aka evil flash can't just zoom in here and take steel maxim himself without making a scene and getting into a huge fight with the suicide squad so he's dead shot right up until the point he starts shooting at someone the plot needs a lime and then he's maybe shot got it bullets kung fu boomerangs excitement what are you waiting for do i have to do everything dude you just got here you've done nothing much less everything oh so you can make a character whose skin is bulletproof and resistant to pain but he's still vulnerable when something hits his balls gotcha but i knew that she knew what was up oh she knew oh yeah she knew public helmet looking a shiny black card it had writing on it get out of hell free naboo must have had a real bout of writer's block when he made this thing i mean these insanely powerful and incredibly ancient artifacts usually have a riddle to solve or cryptic incantation of some sort either way i'm certain whatever it is probably wouldn't have been written in [ __ ] english also what does a 10 billion year old cosmic editing need with a get out of hell free card we shortly find out that the card only works if it is being held by the person when they die if he does need it why isn't it on him at all times and the only thing they took was the card so wait do you mean that the redhead and her friend were at a bar hoping you'd show up hit on her and bring her back to your place so her friend could steal the get out of hell free card calling yourself steel maxim and stripping that's lying low to you crystal frost would be killer at cinema sets you get all that i got it he's telling the truth why didn't waller use this insanely powerful voice recognition tell if someone's lying technology on vertigo and drooling can i'd have all these sketchy [ __ ] hooked up to it at all times also here's a preemptive sin for the fact that i bet this game-changing tool will never be used nay even spoken on for the rest of the movie and if i'm wrong so help me naboo i will take this sin off the previous sin and 50 more as waller seriously left her prognosis terminal file out on her desk for all to see i'd love to assume this was a mistake but that's not how animation works someone had to deliberately draw that there this case file is written in the language of drunk mavis beacon i'd bit my eye teeth that her daddy vandal savage is in on this without exaggeration that is the 18th villain not character villain to appear in this movie and we are only 36 minutes instead of paying attention to what's going on i'm spending all my damn time scrolling through character bios on wikipedia when i really should be scrolling through twitter anyway you may be more familiar with his other gnome diploma alexander the great caesar genghis khan yes but for me to accept that the immortal vandal savage was all three men i'd have to ignore things like how caesar and alexander the great died and if you're saying he's just being reincarnated then i don't know why you would need it get out of hell free car doesn't sound like the afterlife once you harry poems on exit 69 is a mixed sexual metaphor that i'm not sure i can get behind although i'm sure the residents who live off exit 69 get behind all the time beats me i always thought this was hell captain kangaroo that's racist why is this making me horny why is this making me horny and why is this making me horny in case you confused it with denver mississippi wow well we can't show you this they actually put some nudity in this movie i had to rewind it and pause it about 34 times to be totally sure but even though i just saw some animated breasts and nethers i'm still thinking about this scene hell yeah deadshot make that dirty gun clean hallelujah yes it's a sin that this feckless security guard is clearly watching porn instead of security guarding that's kind of the point here the real sin is that he's apparently stupid enough to leave the monitor facing the giant glass window so that any passers-by can witness his disinterested debauchery how the [ __ ] are we supposed to root for anyone in this movie yes he was a lousy security guard but he didn't deserve to be frozen and decapitated are we supposed to be okay with this or just spend the movie hoping our protagonists fail frost how about a few icy cuffs for the ladies ice cuffs god damn it just because you can doesn't mean you should could waller not have provided them with actual cuffs she runs a prison after all balls these guys take dead aim at the people in this penthouse and somehow their first bullets hit the ground several feet away from all the people they're shooting at i can only assume that the individual in charge of animating copperhead chose this exact moment to take their lunch break i mean the dude is just standing there hoping the stormtrooper gods will guide these bullets in his favor come on man you found the card and yet you didn't put it in your pocket when you saw that giant jet show up harley quinn survives it oh captain boomerang survives oh copperhead survival [ __ ] it they'll survive this we can't get a clean shot the woman is expendable one was knockout not expendable these guys certainly didn't seem to give a [ __ ] who was expendable when they arrived and immediately opened fire on everyone rumor has it they call her scandal savage because of the ongoing copyright drama between herself and you know who from the you know what man deadshot mows down everybody in sight while sliding to get the card and i'm wondering why he couldn't have done all that killing sooner right now we're just playing poker and i've got the wild card not to be a poker nerd here but a wild card is usually just a card that can be used as any other card in the deck since this is already the most powerful card in existence i think it's probably fine the way it is giving the card over makes none no sense yes savage will probably still open fire even if deadshot keeps the card but did he really think their chances of survival in that tiny metal box would increase without the card why does shooting the up down buttons cause the elevator to stop moving also they're on the top floor so why did they put an up button here anyway why are the bullets piercing the elevator doors now they were just denning them a minute ago i can see a few bullets making it through the door but not all of them oh now someone shoots a rocket launcher who had that at the ready and you just waited because after all this was supposed to be such a subtle mission but now it's desperate trust me that one's out of order savage's plane flies just low enough so that a person with superpowers can jump up from a building and stick a tracker on him would you fly this low for any reason his ship was as big as a 747 your satellites must have picked him up savage uses a cloaking device a cloaking device that leaves the ship visible to the naked eye also even if the cloaking device is referring to mere radar why does he fly low enough visibly just above the tall buildings in a city if cloaking is so important oh don't mind me i'm just opening a window into a teenage girl's dorm room which are always unlocked and ready to open from the outside she says she's like you but she kind of hates you too i asked my therapist about it but he was already asleep you asked your therapist about your roommate's dad they tried to kill me but that's easier said than done so they went after my fiancee and then bronze tiger sees some league of assassins dude climbing out of a window after killing his fiancee he's got a gun and can kill bronze tiger right now but decides to jump out the window instead so maybe it's not as hard as he's saying they just don't do it because of the story and if this is his fiancee why didn't he just wait until bronze tiger got home and be like surprise tit face and blow him away also the movie has time for what feels like its 17 000th tragic backstory and we are barely halfway through the film holy sh dead shot and bronze tiger fight and we can see the open window in the background and they fight down two flights of stairs where they just happen to find yet another level where the window is open probably because there's some other comic book hero looking for their kid and they ran out to the fire escape so now they're what cool jesus bronze tiger lost his inexplicable murder boner quicker than i lost my actual boner on my last spring break at college listen in my defense i had a lot to drink and it's not like i was disappointing anyone other than myself literally you don't know how close you came to an out-of-body experience like i tried to sit off the bomb in your head but my little remote beeping plot armor plot armor i really do need to change the batteries in this thing we'll take a rest up here and reconvene at 1700 hours five o'clock this movie man there's zero reason to write harley quinn as being this stupid yes she is always a chaotic element that makes questionable and often impulsive choices but all this movie does is reduce her to a one-lining pizza-loving murder bimbo i'm calling margot robbie right now to kick this film's ass i bet she pays icicles that's elsa's she's not dead i mean that was a pretty definitive gunshot from vandal and scandal didn't even attempt to stop the bleeding how is any character death be they good or evil supposed to hold any weight when apparently all they actually needed was some bandages and a blood transfusion well it's possible there's a tracker on the winnebago and i still don't believe banshee or any of the zoom team could have gotten anywhere near this stuckey's parody without the suicide squad seeing them i mean i guess they could have gotten here before but you know that's predicting the future also why did they think the women's restroom was going to be the best place to kidnap anybody what if harley went in with killer frost that means it would have been two against one what if they started making out what if banshee was like room for one more and then it was a threesome you really need to think of these possibilities if you want to write movies why go in one at a time yeah banshee pulled it off but only because killer frost fell and hit her head in the basin what the [ __ ] was blockbuster doing these [ __ ] get a surprise attack in a women's bathroom and it somehow works but then they decided to park the van so far away that any [ __ ] could see them carrying killer frost and this time that [ __ ] just happens to be deadshot the man who does not eat or pee they got frost what i'm going after them i clearly don't need to help to fight those guys even though i did need it in the strip club a few scenes ago initially winnebago's got claws baby it'll go from zero to 60 in a matter of minutes you are here to save killer frost right just because the bad guy's van doesn't mean you can't hit her with all those bullets also shoot the goddamn tires man [Music] this is the nosiest no that has ever no [ __ ] the latest season of breaking bad has gone off the rails you sure you got the right address of course she is look it's right there frost is at blue rectangle road just off slightly shorter blue rectangle lane just past the longer blue block intersection if you get to the green bar you've gone too far she's done why does waller have this huge murder boner for killer frost when her computer tells her that frost is in the house and the suicide squad claims they found her she didn't even kill deadshot when the guy straight up walked off the job a minute ago jesus christ how did copperhead get out of the house in time he was in the basement when he discovered the bomb which was a second or two away from exploding when he was down there i know he's like a snake but how does that translate into fast enough to get out before a bomb goes off i don't think he looks so good judging people on their looks after a bombing this canyon shortcut will get you to savage ahead of zoom there's never been an instance in the history of driving where a canyon shortcut saves any time but anyway how do you know that zoom didn't take this exact shortcut how do you even know when he left or how fast he's moving let's not give each other hand jobs just yet celebratory hand jobs if we're having a good time i don't want a stranger trying to please my junk and manual they won't know what to do besides this sounds an awful lot like you're trying to tap into pulp fiction screenplay and you change the sex act to avoid plagiarism children i must have sired a hundred thousand nick cannon why do you even need it you're supposed to live for bloody ever i'm immortal not invulnerable if you were julius caesar or alexander the great or even genghis khan you've just proven this already i never saw it coming but i felt it damn it this movie has squeezed in more character backstories and exposition into 80 minutes than the snyder cut did in four hours no that's not a compliment and in that moment that very infinitesimal split second before death i drew the speed force into me with every ounce of willpower i had left i literally bought time oh let's talk about the villain's plan no not vandal savage no not amanda waller no not deadshot either damn it people zoom zoom's evil plan ah screw it they're all stupid plants 18 sins one per bad guy i want a tired of a convenience every time someone gets the card they fail to secure it put it in your cleavage killer frost your cleavage [Music] we get it waller likes nothing more than popping heads but considering the single-use nature of the get out of hell card you'd think she would keep it in her pants at least until she's got eyes on the prize at this point she hasn't got a clue where it is or who might be holding it also waller sets copperhead's bomb off exploding both he and killer frost at the same time but that's never how these bombs have worked in this movie if they work this way then vertigo's bomb should have taken julie out with him earlier your cleavage killer frost ah i guess our cleavage is gone now cleavage wasn't the point of this ice gag to stop harley quinn from talking what change that suddenly allows a blah to get through son of a [ __ ] what was stopping deadshot from doing this oh i don't know immediately or is screaming son of a [ __ ] how he usually breaks the ice i'll leave [Music] two dead waller i can see why you would think that i mean that was an incredibly dangerous way to break harley quinn and captain boomerang out of the ice but i think they're oh he met killer frost and copperback oh look another double cross how will i ever contain my shock and the idea that this guy is still alive is titanium levels of [ __ ] oh and i guess if zoom is still alive might as well bring bronze tiger back at just the right moment too we're giving out wings how are you acting in any way normal after this you told deadshot a minute ago if you've been operating in a fog and unreal and warped how are you even capable of standing here talking like this shouldn't we see more glitches in your character than i'm not as fast as i used to be i promise you deadshot i'm good for one last hit of speed just a minute ago you said i'm running on fumes now but i've got just enough gas left for this since bronze tigers died twice in this movie couldn't have let harley quinn do something for once bronze tiger finally dies once there isn't anybody left to stall or kill it feels cold it's a cold world christian slater is right but you know what would have been a better excuse it was in killer frost's cleavage father and daughter die in tragic hit and run as they reportedly attempted to reconcile their differences in the middle of a road downtown more than that after these messages get a good look costanza

Channel: CinemaSins

Views: 588,270

Keywords: wave jockey job, cinemasins, cinema sins, everything wrong with, eww, movie, review, movie review, suicide squad hell to pay, suicide squad, suicide squad hell to pay 2018, suicide squad hell to pay scenes, harley quinn, hell to pay, suicide squad: hell to pay, dc comics, suicide squad: hell to pay 2018, christian slater, deadshot, suicide squad: hell to pay trailer, buy suicide squad: hell to pay blu ray, new suicide squad movie

Id: Nvbd2LRz0Rk

Length: 22min 9sec (1329 seconds)

Published: Tue Aug 03 2021