Everything Wrong With Star Trek (2009) In 5 Minutes Or Less

[Music] 50 seconds of logos they have transporters phasers and King starships but they still need an earpiece microphone wire movie villains so good at destroying autopilot why does Nero ships first two shots knocked this vessels shields down to nine percent but then hundreds of shots during the shuttle evacuation don't destroy the ship wait how is setting a course on the computer and then having the ship engage that course not basically autopilot okay we've already seen him start to fly through the bad guys ships tentacles at this point but the movies saying it'll still take 58 seconds for him to get from this point to the crash point here the autopilot has been destroyed but at least the baby monitor is still functional [Music] nokia still has that ringtone 250 years in the future also nokia I know it's a science fiction film so we have to spend plenty of disbelief but do we have to completely ignore the laws of physics especially for a scene taking place on earth father for marrying her that human racism is apparently logical also but this is the first time they're bringing this up worst bullies ever - what disadvantage are you referring your human mother seriously are Vulcans like secret KKK members did the pointy ears take the place of pointy hats movie thinks racial diversity is possible in Iowa Budweiser classics didn't pike say the shuttle left at oh wait hundred the next morning and wasn't Kirk not only wasted but obliterated so is he not totally driving drunk right now the Federation would never put the secure border of their starship building facility this close imagine NASA letting you sit on your motorcycle and watch them build a space shuttle from this distance there's no paperwork required to sign up for Starfleet you merely need to show up give away your motorcycle and board a shuttle scene does not contain a hot green lap dance Kirk bring an apple to the simulator because he was hungry or so that he would look even more like an [ __ ] Tyler Perry the purpose is to experience fear if everyone knows the test can't be beaten and how can anyone experience fear when taking it did the board have time to even suspend him between the rapid dismissal of the hearing and nap and did I not multiple occasions demonstrate exceptional aural sensitivity or sensitivity Danny no I'm assigned to the enterprise yes I believe you are who takes her place on the Farragut now is there some chick who isn't banging spot that was all excited about being assigned to the enterprise but now she's stuck on the lousy Farragut wolf medical code Trump Starfleet's direct orders during wartime as you are yeah do definitely don't check with anyone before allowing the uncleared cadet aboard the enterprise also occurred on the day of my birth seriously Kirk is the only person in the entire Starfleet organization that can figured this out no one else studied the night that George Kirk saved 800 people during eerily similar circumstances the transmission of the areas because they're being attacked not one captain on any of the remaining fleet could say so much as Oh during the attack even being people with the tubes of moving water then why can't you be him spoke onto the footpath just outside the door of this temple these few seconds cost his mother her life what is it that stops the black hole and dissolves it after it's done eating Vulcan JJ Abrams's steals the mind-control bug thing from Wrath of Khan alien monster immediately attacks another alien monster but pauses to scream at Kirk and give him a head start Kirk manages to find future Spock in a cave he somehow found himself in on a random planet he just happened to be ejected on why the is the geriatric ambassador flying the fastest ship in existence on this super dangerous mission all by himself but what was years for Nero why does it Nero just assume that Spock is dead or maybe just didn't make it through the port how did Nero know there wouldn't be a huge snowstorm on this planet that might block Spock's view of Vulcan being destroyed there is a Starfleet outpost not far from here there's a Starfleet outpost on this planet but Spock chose to hide in a cave rather than report his findings about a crazy Romulan wanting to blow up planets visionary science fiction director rips off the Dharma stations from lost just in case you accidentally beam into the enterprise's lazy river there's an escape hatch just before the giant kill blades wasn't that before he was booted off the ship for mutiny Romulans and Vulcans share a common ancestry our cultural similarities will make it easier for me to access the ship's computer to low this is like saying humans evolved from monkeys so therefore I understand every aspect of social grooming Vulcan blood is not red don't people usually run away from alien space drill lasers why does an eros super advanced ginormous spaceship have any way of keeping spot from flying this little ship away hurt chooses not to impulsively shoot the bad guy and in the movie early quite a Kirk and pike reverse positions and Spock go from sitting to standing when they're beamed aboard the enterprise what's going on it's dr. house explaining how the patient in this week's episode actually has syphilis and not Wilson's disease he's won Nero's ship is gonna be destroyed in seconds by the black hole yet bloodthirsty Kirk decides to murder them all anyway not one person on the enterprise had the foresight to realize they should have moved away from the giant black hole before now okay you just ejected the core whatever that means so you could blow it up and escape the black hole but does the ship not need the core in order to operate it what why call something the core if it's not remotely central to the ship's operation dr. Emmett Brown would be crapping his pants at this conversation with two Spock's is even happening but also with their height difference let this be a lesson kids you can break every rule and be an [ __ ] and you will be handsomely rewarded Tyler Perry again permission to come aboard captain you're already aboard full of sit-ins we tighten this contraption is just as useless and stupid as the chompers and Galaxy Quest except that this Star Trek movie isn't a parody

Channel: CinemaSins

Views: 4,219,920

Keywords: star trek mistakes, wave jockey job, j.j. abrahms, star trek sins, star trek 2009, cinemasins, star trek, star trek movie, jj abrahms, everything wrong with, cinema sins, new star trek, star trek sucks, star trek review, star trek goofs

Id: DiQ9piVgtWM

Length: 5min 35sec (335 seconds)

Published: Tue May 07 2013