Everything Wrong With Game of Thrones - Season 7

seriously how did Aria manage to put together this walled afraid cosplay if she never finished her training you're telling me that jaqen and the wave taught her how to make faces before she was even allowed to use them I've gathered everything I'd like to question how are you knows every fray who means a damn thing oh and how she managed to flawlessly impersonate Walder Frey up until now surely at least one of those guys with her perhaps not felt like wine right then and there at least waiting long enough to find out the whole lot was laced with Joffrey juice hang on let me just take my face off for no other reason than to make sure the audience knows it's me if it wasn't blindingly obvious already tell them winter came for house free oh yeah misses the opportunity to make a 911 joke so I guess as soon as she walked out the door she's immediately going to get slaughtered by the guards at the twins No did Walt afraid not believe that a leash Lord needs guards two whole minutes of the army of the Dead marching I mean come on I know there was a longer than usual seasonal break between season six and seven perhaps some faith in the audience to remember that these guys do in fact still exist I'm married daughter of Howland Reed this is Brandon stark son of Ned Stark how do I know huh strip why does it even matter isn't your current modus operandi to get everyone who is breathing south of the wall you were at the fist of the first men you were at hardhome how does that prove that you're bran Stark if anything it just bolsters as prejudice of you being wildlings everyone aged ten to sixty will drill daily with spears Pike's bow and arrow it's about time we taught these boys of summer out of fight not just the boys we can't defend the north if only half the population is fight you expect me to put a spear in my granddaughter's home that hardly sounds like an uncommon thing in the North didn't Greatjon umber train his daughters in archery I don't plan on knitting by the fire while men fight for me oh yes I was wondering when her sexism is bad character will be added to this show's line up also remember everyone both boys and girls should have the opportunity to be child soldiers you want us to man the castles for you hi why the wildlings then nomads who have no real experience in the defense of fortified positions surely we'll make more sense to send northern soldiers who actually have some level of training in such I'm not gonna strip these families of their ancestral homes because of the crimes of a few reckless sons so there's no punishment for treason and no reward for loyalty you'd think after all her time down in King's Landing that Sansa would have learned some of the subtleties of a royal court perhaps one of which being not to contradict everything your King says also after having her home and family torn away from her due to absolutely no fault of her own you think that Sansa will be more sympathetic to the umbers and the Karstarks who did nothing wrong those thoughts I cleared the same ones that were used by Harald cast arcane Greyjoy number how anyone questioned his authority you think he was a good king do you think I'm Joffrey it was far from Joffrey as anyone I've ever met thank you you good at this what ruling did you just turn over two pages of wants how did Sansa go from being angry at Jon for not letting her question his decisions to praising him for being such a good ruler I loved him I missed him but they made stupid mistakes and they both lost their heads for it and how should I be smarter by listening to you so you've never made stupid decisions because I can recall a few also the Northland is still cheered and clapped when Jon allowed Alison Ned to keep their respective homes louder than when Sansa said they shouldn't so I don't know what sense is getting out here if anything they should be playing favorites with house umber and house Karstark seeing as they command far more manpower than house Mormont Horn wood and Mazen raven from King's Landing how do you know it's from King's Landing if you're just using the sigil on the wax seal as an indicator then it's just as likely to be from Casterly Rock a wall between us and the night King there's nothing between us and Cersei there's a thousand miles between us and Cersei there's also the castle of moat Cailin a military strategist wet dream as it is the only castle on the spit of land so narrow that it's literally called the neck and whoever controls moat Cailin can control all of the traffic flowing between the north and the south why didn't the painter put some kind of temporary tarp over the courtyard what if it starts raining you've been quiet since you came home you're angry with me even though so she did something that you killed the Mad King for threatening to do and it was through her actions that led to Tommen committing suicide where would they land Dragonstone they have deep water ports for the ships Stannis left the castle an occupied gun that's why she was born upon hearing this Cersei makes no attempt to install some kind of garrison there to hinder the Targaryen forces from landing I understand whoever wins couldn't you Tennessee that last a thousand years a dynasty for whom our children are dead were the last of us didn't see for us there that's not how a dynasty works unless you plan on living forever are you serious you're on Greyjoy managed to pump out a king Armada that can make short work of the Targaryen fleet in just a couple of months how the Greyjoy is not the Emperors of the world in that case if they can produce ships like it's nothing you said yourself we need it stronger better allies how are they better allies are they different from the phrase Jaime would you rather have a bunch of cowardly dishonorable baby killers loyal to a cowardly dishonorable 90 year old pedophile who could barely hold the river lands together or someone who has a literal armada mad with bloodthirsty Ironborn who will gladly kill anything you point them towards they both broke their promises and murdered their former friends as soon as it's due to do so does everyone when it suits them I like the phrase they have ships exactly if the Greyjoy decide to turn on you what are they gonna do perform a land invasion something the Greyjoy's are famously terrible at did someone forget to get Palau us back into costume you look he just walked out of a Hollister Shack and nothing compared to the treason you suffered at the hands of a family member and what I hear but still it bothers me [ __ ] hell they couldn't make euro more of a discount Jack Sparrow than if they had cars Johnny Depp and named his ship the black King pearl people I was cutting down well you're wrong Ken are they though if you consider every Ironborn to be the kiddin of year on Greyjoy then surely every and all can be considered your kin and how many Tully Baratheon and Tyrell Minh have you cut down over your long career of cutting people down if I hadn't done that I wouldn't be the greatest captain under 14 C 14 seas in a world where not every corner of the globe is even mapped oh right still you're the greatest captain of all these random inland seas in the Far East of Essos and applying him for person why you're not trustworthy you've broken promises to allies before and murder the nearest opportunity then why did you even summon him here if the basis on which you're declining his offer is that he's not trustworthy in fact why did you even bother to ask what he wanted in return also what allies the only time he's ever betrayed anyone who could be considered a confidante is when he killed Baylin who was doing him absolutely no favours whatsoever cough-cough Kevan Lannister Cersei cough-cough okay I'm not gonna lie this might be the funniest two minutes of game with Lauren's history when all seriousness we're kind of pressed for time in this season and this is now the second time in one episode where the show has wasted two whole minutes to convey the message of yes these characters do exist while the threat I mean Argus Filch does not appear too bright Sam for peering into the restricted section postulate 147 I was what even is that unit of measurement Pennock Westeros uses other imperial units like miles and feet and inches so why not use pounds on ounces and the simplest explanation for your grating obsession with the White Walkers is that you're telling the truth and that you saw would you say you saw really your thing our Occam's razor and calling that the simplest explanation even if you do have unconnected sources speaking of tails of the long night they are exactly that tails of an event that happened 8,000 ping years ago when the simpler explanation be that Sam someone with a very learn at mind when no doubt has heard of these tails after spending a few years at the wall perhaps thought he saw them but didn't actually I know Sam is telling the truth but put yourself in the archmaester shoes for one second and think about it who stood through it all every winter that ever came has ended okay but if you truly believe that another long night is coming then you should know that this new long night cannot end without the defeat of the white walkers which is exactly what Sam is trying to find out why were the scene our bedridden old man keep his keys in plain sight on the bedside table once again if you are just tuning in the show earns an additional 10 sins for every episode pod the sex God features in that being until what you did to those King prostitutes is revealed I've heard she beat the hound in single combat how four people were there to witness the fight the hounds Brienne Podrick and ayah i highly doubt you've come across the hound or iron your Liberty travel since the fight and Brienne or Podrick don't strike me as the kind of people who would spread that information around I want you to be safe I am safe I'm at home surrounded by friends that bran to protect me from anyone who harm me what about happy why aren't you happy what are you even trying to do my dude is this part of your master plan if I asked her why she isn't happy then maybe she'll open up to me and then I don't know maybe I lost somehow I end up on the Iron Throne with Sansa as my wife why is he still here we need his man about the veil Ramsay Bolton would still hold this castle you know is she getting sick of Littlefinger then why not send a raven down to the Eyrie or Runestone to bring Robin Arryn up north I can't imagine that you're then have a hard time convincing him to Zen Littlefinger back to the Vale and allow him to take direct control of the Knights of the Vale and its and keep our nothing compared to a woman's case four hands of go red and South Sunday poor girl not so bad is it depends on your taste I guess if you like your streets covered in pig's blood it's the town for you isn't that description of every city in medieval times my life only to see the red keep accepted Baelor the dragon pit then when I finally make it they wouldn't let me move in a mile the red cape deceptive bylaws blown to hell and the dragon pit so damn ruin what were you expecting an active dragon pit that's like saying you were disappointed with your trip to Rome because the Colosseum is half collapsed and doesn't have active glad tutorial brawls and the truth is when we left them we can wait to get away but now we've been gone a while we can't wait to get home I just think about my dad out there on his boat all alone it's about here we didn't okay show don't tell me that aya still needs more convincing to go back to Winterfell she literally said in her mic drop to jaqen that a girl is aya Stark of Winterfell and I'm going home are you all gonna have to drink wait there's an age limit for alcohol consumption and there's not an age limit for marriage or sexual consent there was a nice girl on our own heading to King's Landing I'm going to kill the Queen if that joke had rubbed them the wrong way don't pretend that you would run out to kill all of them and even if you somehow did Ed Sheeran's fangirl army would have instantly mold you to death I'll tell you what doesn't scare me bald [ __ ] like you you think you're fooling anyone with that top not even though he's quite clearly not bald The Hound America the only two to acknowledge the rather obvious dead bodies in the corner of the room and there's nothing special about you the around about van oh why does the lord of like bringing you back because he is the player the rest of you are mere NPCs logs burning King logs burning there's a mountain looks like an arrowhead a mountain that looks like an arrowhead Thank You mr. Lord of Light that's very helpful what the hell are you doing today burying the dead horse of mere does not object to the fact that the Hound isn't burning them on a pyre yep Samwell Junior is definitely living to at least 200 years old the Targaryen zoos tracking about to decorate the weapons without even knowing what the first men used it for what's wrong with that the White Walkers threat was only discovered very recently before now was just some semi-precious gemstone that happened to have the name dragon in it what is it it's a map of Dragonstone the Targaryen built there for a strong cold air when the invaded Westeros that'ss dragonglass a mountain living beneath the ground Stannis told me but I didn't think this is important Jon needs to know I should come here first of all how did you covertly infiltrate the Citadel and managed to by yourself in a prison cell second of all why just so you could jump scare some poor Meister in training why not just rock up to the Citadel and ask for some [ __ ] help why are you docking so far out all you're doing is opening yourself up to an attack from Daddy Euron's big dick armada and the late Ramsay Bolton's 20 good men what about those deepwater ports I was told about King Robert did not have those dragon heads replaced with stags or statues of himself or whatever didn't Stannis leave any kind of garrison here having Dragonstone would have been essential should he have wanted to have a second stab at attacking King's Landing by sea and since he took all of his ships and men with him to the wall he could have made it impossible for them to leave even if they wanted to convenient new epic throne room and Dragons stone that we've never seen before despite it being adjacent to the tactics room and was Stannis proclaiming himself as a king he is very much convenient so why is it such a mess in here did Stannis throw some kind of leaving party before he abandoned the place how would the tactics board pieces still there barring the fact that this room is completely open to the elements and they probably would've been blown off the table during any one of the countless storms didn't Melisandre burn all of them just before they left shall we begin oh my god that was such a good scene why did you have to ruin it with cringy dialogue what we expecting some kind of party completed with a melted chocolate fountain and male strippers if the Great Houses support your Flanagan's Cersei the game is won and what great houses would those be you already have a Len a Tyrell on the sand snakes on your side House Frey is gone House Baratheon is pretty much gone house Tully is pretty much gone with Cersei having to facto control over both the Stormlands and the Riverlands along with her seats in the crown lands on the westerland's and as for House Stark and house Aaron yeah good luck with that he says my father didn't you Lord Varys I did in the new Septon man whoever trigger I had to choice your grace serve Robert Baratheon alsace the headman's ax you did in the seventh you turned against what's your point Tyrion Jorah and the late sir Barristan all bent the knee to King Robert with the latter to directly serving him if you're going to naturally distrust those who serve the Baratheon dynasty then you seriously need to rethink your choices of councilmembers King Robert who subsequently left on his fateful boar hunt look I know you had to maintain his trust and all but there was no reason why I couldn't have just not sent the birds and then told King Robert that the assassination attempt failed not that you would have had to of course as Robert got a rather serious case of boar tusks in the belly on that trip swear this to me though if you ever think I'm failing the people you won't conspire behind my back look me in the eye as you have done today and you'll tell me how I'm failing me but what if you've gone insane like your father and many of your other ancestors because when the Mad King was questioned he responds 'red with a big unhealthy dose of wildfire of course it's going to plot behind your back stop being so naive each auspicious day to arrive at Dragonstone we've just decided to pardon those who once served the ranking once again Tyrion Jorah and Ser Barristan all serve the wrong King do they need to be forgiven what does your Lord expect from me Boyce's bunty's amazes me Rick Evo Dora Lara's Ozma haagen-dazs the prince who is promised will bring the dawn yes they already need to keep switching back and forth between English and Valyrian as king in the north he has United those wildlings with the northern houses so together they may face their common enemy he sounds like quite a man you're not gonna mention the bit about him coming back to life or is that a scrub tier ability that isn't worth boasting about and attaching to his name I can't speak to prophecies or visions in the flames but I like Jon Snow and I trusted him and I am an excellent judge of character just like how you expertly judge Jays character look you haven't seen him in nearly six years do you really expect him to be the same kind of person after all that time at the end of the world what if the army of the Dead makes it past the wall do we have enough men to fight them you don't need an army all we need is 20 good men but realistically how are they meant to get past the wall they can't lock it down as far as No and they can't sail around it so the best they can do is attack the Nights Watch castles of which only three currently have tunnels that cross the gap if you end up using dragon fire in the defense of these castles well I shouldn't have to explain why that might not be the best idea some of you are bannermen of house Tyrell but house Tyrell is in open rebellion against the crown wait so if House Tyrells Bannerman didn't immediately swear themselves to the whole Targaryen Tyrell Dornish alliance and how exactly did the leather manage to raise such a large army and perhaps more importantly raise such a large Navy Highgarden and the direct Tyrell sphere of influence is located in the center of the reach so any ships will be located in the ports of the Tyrell vassals such as old town in Essos her brutality is already legendary she crucified hundreds of noblemen in slavers Bay and when she grew bored of that she fed them to her dragons if he really wanted to convince them perhaps he should have mentioned slavers Bay because noble men in slavers Bay for what reason could someone who holds Westerosi values and ethics possibly execute a wealthy person in a place called slavers Bay sir Jaime I believe you know my son hey that doesn't look like Freddy Stromer it's all I want you to swear allegiance to Cersei and I want you to help me destroy her enemies all around us including alona Tyrell I'm a Tarly that may mean something well she's not really a Tyrell is she she holds that name through her marriage to Luthor Tyrell House Tyrell is essentially gone you should have cut off your arm the moment you were touched and then likely died from blood loss and or disease considering the lack of medical facilities in the ruins of Valyria comfortable its Sam seriously already the arch maesters assistant even though he's been here for a couple of weeks at most Allari on the drip the bestirred Aegon rode across the sea its flames forged the Iron Throne and brought the Seven Kingdoms to heal Jesus Christ that heads way bigger than dragons and they say that the nurses dragons are as big as a guns apparently dragons was wounded by Spears in the fighting pits of Mary of course you heard this people always conveniently know the exact right information that would allow them to propel the plot forward apparently finest art elitism blacksmiths and Kings Landing have been laboring day and night good now build more of them dozens of them hundreds of them they are now the most important and powerful weapons in your arsenal how is Daenerys even supposed to contemplate attacking King's Landing by air if the walls are lined with these each man by expert marksman I'm sorry I can't take any meeting in this room seriously knowing that they don't know that the man is the living daylights out of Melisandre on this very table also I like how of the four men in this room three of them are eunuchs and the fourth is a dwarf nice going show nice going of course I can't remember a queen it was better loved and my granddaughter the common people loved her the nobles loved her what is left of her now ashes commoners nobles they're all just children really they won't obey you unless they fear you yet as you literally just said the commoners and nobles loved and therefore were inclined to obey Marjorie did they fear Marjorie no of course not lady Greyjoy will escort you home to Sunspear you mean Queen Yara right hasn't Daenerys officially recognized the Iron Islands as independent the unsullied will have another objective for decades House Lannister has been the true power in Westeros and the seat of that power is costly rock grey Roman the unsullied will serve for the ROC and take it yeah I don't see how that's going to stop Cersei from rattling the Lords of Westeros under the common goal of repairing a foreign invasion whether or not the unsullied attack King's Landing or Casterly Rock she can still peddle it as a foreign attack and the need of unity under her to repel it he's a clever man your hand I've known a great many clever men I've a lived them all you know why I ignored them the Lords of Westeros are sheep are you sheep no you're a dragon be a dragon okay so Elena you're telling a Targaryen someone who has a family history of going from a kind and sympathetic st. to a back insane despot overnight to regard the Lords of Westeros as subhuman or at least inferior to her and to disregard any advice given to her by her counsel even their own king hand embrace her house sigil and turn into a king dragon which I guess means just burn all your problems away Elena this is a description of the Mad King do you really want to encourage Daenerys down this path you are no weakness that's what I am why is missandei gang angry at grey worm she knows full well that he like all unsullied have been programmed from birth to be as lifeless and robotic as the Star Wars prequels you seriously went into his room wearing nothing under your tunic you were that confident that you would get a tumble in the sheets with someone who should realistically have no sexual desires whatsoever would you just not wear anything under your tunic regularly either way sin Jesus Christ I was possibly the most awkward two minutes of my life but we got to see nathalie emmanuel naked so i'll remover sin and not look back if you won't be able to read your histories you need a bit of style I'm not writing a chronicle of the wars following the death of King Robert the first so he can sit on his shelf I'll read but you don't like the title what would you call it then oh I don't know how about the war of the five kings the de facto name of the conflict and actually sounding half-decent possibly something a bit more poetic we're not poet Charlie yes but you were literally just lecturing him on how your Chronicles need to be both well researched and creatively styled if Jorah is planning on killing himself rather than allowing the greyscale to consume his mind then why doesn't he just ask the maesters to provide him with some painless death drug rather than committing seppuku drink this what is it wrong drink it all please I'm afraid this is going to hurt so you're telling me that Sam was somehow able to get access to a greyscale curing ointment of which the procedure that it's used in is forbidden to carry out yet the best painkiller they was able to find was king rum all right I don't wish death on many people but whoever directed this episode just watch your back hurry hello hop hi is still in slavery but I'm gonna remove 20 sins regardless well so if comrade papaya doesn't take the Iron Throne and establish the United People's Soviet Socialist Free Republic of Westeros and there will be riots any sane individual who butchered two men and baked them into a [ __ ] pie shouldn't have any kind of appetite for pastry products ever again I thought you being in the Winterfell okay this is now the fourth time that two random characters have stumbled upon each other at the end at the crossroads saying immersion major plot points three times of which have been conveniently involved hot pie in some way and as for this time in particular well if hope I hadn't directed eyes attention to Winterfell she probably would have gone on to kill Cersei which means that Daenerys and John wouldn't have had to have gone and got a white to convince her mean that this area I'm probably would have been killed meaning that the night king wouldn't have had a way to knock down the wall hot pie is literally Littlefinger and he doesn't even [ __ ] know it that being said how did I image go this long before finding this information out she spent at least several days in disguise at the twins and has since been traveling around the Riverlands where she no doubt would have had opportunities to eavesdropped on dozens of conversations between merchants soldiers etc is at the Inn at the crossroads she's basically in the Crown lands at this point and only a couple hundred miles from King's Landing has a few days ride at most considering how far she's come after traveling down from the twins a castle that is relatively close to the river lion slash the north border he thinks she might just keep going considering how far she's come only just to turn around and go all the way back he's just proof that Dragonstone sits on a mountain of dragonglass i wouldn't call a single mention in one book of dragonglass on Dragonstone as a proof considering that the archmaester said last seen that the works of the maesters aren't always accurate yet Sam made out to be completely indisputable proof knowing full well that job will basically be risking his life and the integrity of the north to go and meet Daenerys on Dragonstone to negotiate we called your brother King and then he lost his kingdom well actually he was already riding south when you named him king in the north I don't think he ever actually had a chance as a return to the north during his tenure only a king can convince her to help us it has to be me you're abandoning your people what the [ __ ] how is John leaving the North temporarily with the intention of negotiating the acquisition of much-needed resources and allies abandoning his home and his people do you really think you're going to be able to fight this war by yourself you'll never just Bolin's myself who's answered him to lady Catelyn is a gesture of goodwill from Tyrion Lannister how many King conversations have started with character a and character B down in these crypts reminiscing on the deceased character C have nothing to say to you not even thank you but run for me you'd have been slaughtered on that battlefield well it wasn't just you Sansa Robin Arryn and Lord Royce all played a significant part in the plan coming together episode includes a cameo from Hope High Nymeria but has the gall to omit a scene with Gendry in his rowboat descending from the heavens but in all seriousness why is this here it serves absolutely no purpose other than to remind the audience that Nymeria exists again we're rather pressed for time this season why there's so many pointless scenes boy and girl depends on the board okay that was good thunderstorm that perfectly coincides with Euron's attack is very much perfectly timed I guess you're on truly is the ocean man also you're on somehow knew and was able to locate the exact ship that all the important people were traveling on so he could personally attack it with his capital ship holy Sh how on earth is anyone going to be able to tell which side anyone is on everyone is either wearing plain black and gray clothing or standard Greyjoy armor at least when Stannis and Renly were at war they made their own custom sigils with their own distinct color palette if you want to keep ilaria safe shouldn't you tell us to try and get her to evacuate you're on round the ship pretty hard I think Yara should know that below deck isn't going to be safe for long that fireball could have very easily hit Euron's flagship house this attack being organized it's good to see that you're on an Yara soldiers have the common courtesy to fighting crap corners of the main deck leaving this massive open area in the middle to allow Euron to do his recreational sunday murdering cool kiss creepy uncle cliche this [ __ ] wise Yara upset with Theon if he charges it you're on he's just going to slit a throat where are these deepwater ports that Circe was talking about because everyone just seems to be anchoring their ships out in the open about half a mile offshore then we'll see with the onion night opposite sides at the Battle of Blackwater Bay yes I've seen Game of Thrones - this place has changed yeah I think you're right I mean look at the castle back in season two and three compared to how it is now not to mention the armed is now king massive you're telling me that it took this long for John to notice the three rather obvious dragons flying above the island and he didn't notice them while approaching Dragonstone or rowing to shore you'd think the nature of the Dragons would have led them to investigate any approaching ship up close so where will you go volantis good if you don't mind my saying I don't think you should return to Westeros I'm not sure you'd be safe here and volantis is safer than Westeros for Lantis and the other slave cities of Essos I've been having more revolutions in the last couple of years than France in the 19th century you stand in the presence of Daenerys Stormborn of House Targaryen rightful heir to the Iron Throne rightful queen of the Andals and the first men protector of the Seven Kingdoms you forgot to mention that she is the rightful queen of the Andals the first men and the Rhoyne er you'll start again also where is this protector of the Seven Kingdoms title coming from because under Kings Robert Joffrey and Tommen it was Lord of the Seven Kingdoms and protector of the realm with the two not necessarily being granted together for example Robert named Ned protector of the realm until Joffrey came of age I could have sworn I read the last king in the North was tauren Stark who bent the knee to my ancestor Aegon Targaryen in exchange for his life and the lives of the Northmen Torrance talks will fealty to House Targaryen in perpetuity what do I have my facts wrong yes because the last King in the North was Robb Stark in perpetuity means what does perpetuity mean Lord Tyrion forever forever oh my god she's so self in titles and up her own ass that it's actually painful and there's people who actually like her who are these people our two houses were allies for centuries and those were the best centuries the Seven Kingdoms have ever known centuries of peace and prosperity with a Targaryen sitting on the Iron Throne and a stark serving as warden of the north [Music] the dead is that another figure of speech the army of the Dead is on the March army of the Dead this shouldn't be new information to Tyrion because back in season two during his tenure as Joffrey's hand he received a rave room from Lord Commander Mormont and he seemed to believe it then cold winds are rising and the dead rise with them according to the commander one of these dead men attacked him in his chambers Mormont doesn't lie I wonder if your father knew his best friend sent assassins to murder a baby girl in her crib did he though because I thought no assassination was even attempted until Ned was in King's Landing the world hadn't seen a dragon in centuries until my children were born centuries the last of the old Targaryen dragons died just over a century ago also Daenerys acknowledges that the existence of dragons was rapidly retreating into mythology or at the very least becoming cemented as a thing in the past in the eyes of the general public so then why is she unable to consider the potential existence of other supernatural entities like I don't know White Walkers and whites there's no time for any of this while we stand here debate it takes no time to bend the knee but it does take time to fight a war against Cersei Theon managed to survive for several hours while submerged in water so cold that his breath is freezing your husband you saw him take her that you got away that's right why not for all you know you could have been knocked overboard while engaged in an epic duel with the ocean man a Greyjoy someone who rarely fights on land and never by choice has bespoke a Greyjoy horse armor you know given that it's now winter and it's most likely going to be a long one due to the decade-long summer that preceded it I must ask why these poor commoners who face potential starvation during these upcoming hard years are wasting their valuable food by pelting Yara ilaria and tyene with it is it just me or does that other Queen's Guard on the Left look just as demonic as the mountain is Kaiba and giving the Dwayne Johnson serum stuff to Oliver Queen's Guard soldiers now [Music] [Applause] nah neither however she does like in the presence of dead family members I couldn't bear to hear in another woman's arms I never got well he kind of did didn't you you clearly remember and loved her well enough to make Tyrians life a living hell for being born oh come on sir see the long farewell what about the horrific ly painful poison that Joffrey died from how long does the poison take difficult Constitution I'm surprised Cersei didn't accidentally kill herself then due to how arouse she was getting from the prospect of killing ilaria and tyene immediately after killing her arch nemesis with lipstick poison Cersei then proceeds to kiss her brother slash love of her life oh and she gives him a king blow job as well great Circe's had made it it's a Cersei cosplayer no vaults are empty your late husband's profligacy sort of that oh come on you're telling me that Roberts profligacy was the sole reason the crown was in so much debt to the iron bank because I can name a few expenses that may have cropped up since Robert's death that may have somewhat overshadowed the money he spent on prostitutes and alcohol oh let's see well there's the war they fought against Robb Stark and Stannis Baratheon the war they are currently fighting against Daenerys Targaryen the two royal weddings in the space of a year at least one of which was a full-scale blowout affair and the Raleigh untimely destruction of a centerpiece of King's Landing that may have cost a little bit to repair and made it her a few traders of merchants from conducting business in the city for the foreseeable future the wealthiest allies the Tyrells and now your enemies you are surrounded on all sides by rivals for the throne I'd hardly consider the Tyrells a significant threat most of their vassals aka the source of their power and wealth have switched sides to fight alongside Cersei and they have nowhere near enough men directly loyal to Highgarden to fight an offensive campaign within the reach much less on King's Landing all what do you mean she's surrounded on all sides by rivals for the throne she has control over the crown lands the westerland's and presumably the Stormlands just from her name alone and has de facto control over the Iron Islands the river lands thanks to general Sheeran's peacekeeping force and is rapidly gaining force in the reach of which there is only perhaps one or two castles which they are engaged in hostilities with also also Daenerys is the only other person vying for the throne all these other people are merely her appeal I mean her allies I'm guessing the iron bank invested considerable gold in the slave trade how are your profits probably extremely poor as slavery by its very nature is extremely unprofitable and uh NECA nama chol especially in a world where more capitalist systems of government exist excuse me but what the [ __ ] is happened to dragonstone because I thought it was a rocky islet that was not much bigger than the fort that adorns it but now there's huge open fields strategically divided up into farmland and you're telling me that Stannis couldn't produce any meat or grain on Dragonstone with all of this on his doorstep how do I convince the people you don't know me that an enemy they don't believe in is coming to kill them all good question I know it's a good question I'm looking for an answer people's minds aren't made for problems that large White Walkers the night king army of the dead it's almost a relief to confront a comfortable familiar monster like my sister that's in no way answers his question in fact it'll just make him more pissed off as you're making out his dilemma as an insurmountable issue that in reality has an extremely simple solution that is conserved for Westeros long ago but she didn't he said she stayed where she was and saved many people from horrible things while you're our guest here you might consider asking them what they think of the mad Kings daughter she protects people from monsters just as you do that's why she came here I don't know if anyone else picked up on this but what Tyrion just said could be interpreted as Westeros is constantly engaged in civil war you can't rule yourselves allow this for invader Benevolent Queen Daenerys to conquer your country it would be better off because of it nice message you're sending there but a wise man once said that you should never believe a thing simply because you want to believe it which wise man said this how does everyone pick up on when someone uses their own quote passed off as ancient wisdom as opposed to a real quote of ancient wisdom what kind of person pays that much attention in philosophical studies how do you know this sure you've almost certainly heard about what happens a Rob stark but I don't see how you could have heard of richens death how much do we have four thousand bushels my lady maester wolkan is somehow able to get this exact measurement despite of all the wheat being thrown into carts clearly not having been partitioned into bushels what's the longest winter in the past 100 years I'm not entirely certain I'll check mr. Lewin's records he kept a copy of every Raven scroll unless maester Luwin had lived to his a hundred and thirty s how do you expect to gather hundred years worth of information from his personal records every direction the threat comes from this is the best place to be wait why though I don't claim to be an expert on military strategy but surely the better castle would be the one situated on the neck the area between the north and the Riverlands Winterfell is literally slap bang in the middle of the north and therefore the night King could very easily encircle you and attack you from all sides and then you have to consider that you can literally just go around you turn the rest of Westeros into a necropolis and then turn around and finish you off with an army that now measures in the millions are they covering those breastplates another maybe I'm some real cold [ __ ] maybe because they're the Smiths they're leaving the leatherworking to I don't know the leather workers it's almost as if they're creating a streamlined production line of Ches place instead of doing everything themselves and half-assing it I only meant to say that the woman who murdered my mother's father and brother is dangerous thank you for your wise counsel Sansa knows full well that Cersei tried to stop Joffrey from beheading Ned the red wedding was orchestrated by Tywin Lannister Walder Frey and Roose Bolton not Cersei so I assume Eadie believed bran who was who he said he was so why didn't he send a ray even to Winterfell to inform Santa that he has bran and that she might want to send a small group of soldiers up to the wall to safely escort the last living trueborn son of Ned Stark back to Winterfell I can never be Lord of anything in the three-eyed raven yeah that's probably not the only reason given that you're paralyzed from the waist down you may have some trouble in the child making department in the three-eyed raven I don't know what that means it's difficult to explain the old three-eyed raven taught me everything and then you got killed now i'm the three-eyed raven there i explained it in five seconds you're free to go son this chamber is needed for the infectious are you not going to keep him for a couple extra days or so just to make sure that the infection or perhaps any secondary infection isn't active also I like how they made such a big deal out of this greyscale for the past two seasons then Sam just cures it in one thing night you could have devastated the entire Citadel but you didn't but he could've and that's the point by not reprimanding him for it you're just going to further encourage him to bend the rules of disobey direct orders I wouldn't be alone I would have to Roban Vissarion and regal what can anyone do to them Circe could have had Euron installed blisters on his fleet it would make sense but even if she hadn't his entire fleet of hundreds of ships opening fire with not only arrows but their artillery style catapults will likely take your dragons out of the air and into the water before long main characters the last ones had on their face obscuring helmet cliche what the [ __ ] how did cast Lee rock go from looking like this with the castle clearly being built on the peak of a rock to looking like this with the whole castle appearing to have been built on a flat field also how did all this flat land suddenly appear next to the walls unless they're attacking from the other side where I would question why they were choose to land ashore directly underneath the castle instead of a few miles up the coast where they would face volleys of arrows cutting them down company I kept hello women mostly they weren't welcome at the rock father disapproved of that sort of behavior couldn't walk them through the front gates I couldn't have them in my chambers so in the process of building the suicide Thrun something for myself but even if the sewer system was beneath Tywin the castellum probably would have been very interested and scrutinized the plans you would have had to present to him for obvious security breaches such as the thing you threw him for yourself and you smuggled prostitutes through here the magical adventures of teleporting Jaime Lannister and his teleporting army own all seriousness how did he get from King's Landing to Casterly Rock organize his army ransacked the rock for supplies and mud all the way to Highgarden in that short of a time keep in mind the unsullied set off alongside Yara and the sand snakes so they left Dragonstone long before Jaime was even considering this plan I'm sorry but that generic-looking castle is an abysmal excuse for Highgarden the way that Jaime is marching towards the castle and seemingly singling all of the important people himself included out from the rest of the army it's just begging for one of the pissed-off Tyrell soldier to pull us Ramsay Bolton into a long-range bows sniper shot at Jaime I guess the battle between a Lannister forces and the Tyrell Guards was so boring and uninteresting that the show thought it was more compelling to show two rather mundane offenses on Casterly Rock one of which didn't actually happen also Jaime has all of this gold being kept right out in the open and trust that not one of his soldiers or officers will slip a bar into their pocket for themselves how does Joffrey's sword wasn't it not did he ever used it what did he call it widows well you know he wasn't I just can't bring myself to send this final scene with Elena so I'll just remove ten sins and not look back how about that one available there is so Gary could come and take it back the day after you move in besides think of the upkeep except he would also have all the titles to go with owning Highgarden and thus he would have a steady flow of income through the taxation of his subjects to pay for said upkeep run of the Blackwater formerly of whatever nameless keep your from with a saddlebag full of gold complaining about not getting paid complaining about him not getting paid the stuff he was promised titles are worth far more in the long run than a bag of gold well your company the Tully's and help them accelerate this process I'm not much for shoveling wheat no motivating reluctant farmers to hand over the harvest but you guys have a real talent for that what makes you imagine that he's hardly a Terran or a divorce so his tactics likely won't extend beyond give me your harvest or I'll beat the [ __ ] out of you boy which any nameless learn as a stormtrooper could easily carry out without the need of brawn control over this continent and every person on it I see a great deal of potential in that venture I imagine that would require outside investment would you mind explaining to me how you see great potential in that venture you know full well what happened in slavers Bay and that Daenerys can kind of end this war at any moment given that she has three fully grown dragons and if Cersei leaves the throne with a mountain a debt good luck convincing three dragons several thousands of unsullied and several tens of thousands of Dorothy money that Cersei borrowed why would Littlefinger give the dagger to bran what does he have to gain from giving away something of so much value brands almost certainly publicly renounced his claims of the lordship of Winterfell so at this point he's just a decently well-off kid who holds little political power why not give the dagger to Sansa Mariah when she arrives or any number of other lords and ladies of the north also the fact that Littlefinger is giving this expensive and unique dagger to bran along with the matching scabbard kind of proves that the dagger did belong to him all along as if his alibi about it belonging to Tyrion Lannister's to be believed then there should have been no way he could have gotten hold of the scabbard in a way that dagger made you what you are today forced from your home driven out to the wireless beyond the wall so I guess bran for some reason told Littlefinger that you went beyond the wall yet didn't specify a reason leaving Littlefinger to her the assumption that he did so to flee the war of the five kings which would make little sense as he could have easily seeked refuge at Castle black with his brother and would been perfectly safe despite brahmic here quite clear so little finger that he is fully aware of his deeds of Littlefinger II he makes no reevaluation of his subsequent actions of Littlefinger II which ultimately leads to him gangs of the the ass didn't he become the three-eyed Raven when he touched the weirwood when benjin left them just beyond the wall Aya's horse turns from my brown head horse in this shot to the same wire and black haired horse that she's been using for the past four episodes in this shot I'm I stop this is my home I stopped dead so why did you just allow Brown a mirror entry if they based their justification on the fact that they were carrying bran Stark another person who has been assumed dead I'll tell you I am oh yeah somehow believes that maester Luwin and Sir Roderick would have survived both the Greyjoy and Bolton occupations of Winterfell no cuz if you don't know these two soldiers are fighting over who has to go and tell Sansa about the person at the gates but then both of them choose to confront her when they find out they've lost her yes a tidy screenwriters trick on how to write reunions without the cheesiness step one have the characters initially say something in a more serious tone preferably pertaining to something that has changed about their characters since they last spoke step two then have the emotional reunion with the hugging / kissing it doesn't like him should have been carved by someone who knew his face what do you mean I highly doubt that this statue was carved during the Greyjoy all Bolton occupations of Winterfell so it was either car before Theon's takeover of Winterfell why they would have had brands richens luhan's Rodricks ho doors or literally anyone else in Winterfell knowledge of Ned Stark's face or after the Battle of the bastards where they would have had both Sansa and John's knowledge of his face I imagine yours is too mine either but stories aren't over yet and this is a completely normal conversation that certainly doesn't sound like it was written by a fourteen-year-old recons goes later appeared screaming at his older sisters am i a joke to you okay again I probably should have pointed this out way earlier than I have but where is the pond slash hot spring that's at the base of the Winterfell where would the same one that Ned liked polish sword next to while pondering his ability to tell white lies I thought you might go to King's Landing so did I why would you go back there so she's on her list of names bran is clearly still brown only a little brother would flex on this big sister immediately after being reunited after of 60 years part [Music] you mean house Aaron has declared for house Stark Littlefinger is merely a representative of Robin Arryn there's literally no reason for you to keep him around especially now that Jon's King and Robin Arryn is legally his subject and therefore obliged to answer any calls to Winterfell doesn't matter what do you mean it doesn't matter I don't want it are you sure why give it to aya why not give it to Sansa someone who is still yet to receive a weapon especially considering she's also meant to be receiving combat training as she falls under the umbrella of every man woman boy and girl between the ages of 10 and 60 in the north yet what you did do really was rather essential in ensuring that Sansa didn't end up back in Ramsay's house of horrors [Music] Brienne is all of a sudden annoyed whenever someone calls her a lady even though she has never objected to it before what happened anything many things all right I do not believe that Miele Clarke is a terrible actress like some mouth-breathers on the Internet do but Jesus Christ it was like Emilia Clarke and the family Emmanuelle forgot how to act for that six line exchange that being said it was written so poorly that even Daniel day-lewis would have struggled to make that sound convincing how are you seriously telling me that an underground volcanic seaside cave has remained untouched by geologic and meteorological T to the point where all the engravings are perfectly preserved I will I will fight for the news when he bend the knee you know at this point I seriously do think the white walkers deserve to win the people of Westeros are so prideful and up that our own ass that they have been since episode one that it would make narrative sense for them all to die because they were too divided and ignorant to realize the true threat to the north until it's too late isn't their survival more important than your pride Daenerys the suppose that hero of the small folk will gladly let hundreds of thousands of people die because one guy didn't bend a knee who's the overly prideful one here again poor grey worm and the unsullied back we still have enough ships to carry the Dothraki to the mainland are you sure about that because I seem to remember you wrong giving gray worms fleet a hard time in the staying afloat Department but if you use them to melt castles and burn cities you're not different he's just more of the same who said that she would need to burn cities she could simply fly the three dragons onto the red keep demand an unconditional surrender and if Cersei refuses she gets a tour down drogon suggesting tract discount general Hux do you honestly expect her to be strong enough to wield a full-sized broadsword also for someone who is supposedly a seasoned warrior such as Brienne how does she not know about the other styles of combat other than the standard broadsword such armor common throughout Westeros [Music] Brienne continues to attack aya despite knocking her sword clean out of her hands [Music] no I hate you and I wish you'd die also I don't recall you sparring with a small sword against the wave we reeled in a broadsword in fact the only sparring I seem to recall was the two of you wildung two-handed pikes and while I don't claim to be a combat specialist I think it would use a somewhat different style of combat training than what you just did how many men do we have in the north to fight ten thousand less less than ten thousand I thought you said you were training every single person regardless of gender between the ages of 10 and 60 and as you later state that the population of the north is somewhere around 1 million you should have at the very least a few hundred thousand men and women capable of putting up a fight she's not our queen because she's the daughter of some King we never knew she's the queen we chose sure she is I'm sure she would have gladly stepped down from her position if the unsullied Dothraki ii songs or a majority of her Marigny subjects wanted someone else as their ruler is that a Greyjoy ship random Greyjoy's ship appears in the Dragonstone Bay despite there being several previous shots of the bay with no ship in sight also how did it take this long for Theon ship to make it back to Dragonstone keep in mind that during the time between the battles and RC Yuans fleet made it all the way from the site of the battle to King's Landing which in of itself is a longer distance at Dragonstone then hung out there for a while then made it all the way to Casterly Rock on the other side of the [ __ ] continent while then still having nearly a full episode worth of time to go Jaime decided to halt the entire grain train from the reach to allow his soldiers to kick back and relax just a few dozen miles from King's Landing you know that city of hundreds of thousands which itself is surrounded by countless villagers the inhabitants of which are facing starvation due to the onset of winter and the ongoing conflicts themselves when they die then they teach you that at fancy led school I learnt it when I was five well in reality only about 10% of men defecate themselves when they die as it only happens if and I'm trying to put this nicely needed to go when they died also this not only applies to men but to practically all mammals and dicken has supposedly been hunting for years why don't you get some of them to attempt to flee with the grain given that King's Landing is literally right across the river and as we'll see during the subsequent battle two horses are more than capable of galloping while pulling a full wagon behind them we interrupt tonight showing of Game of Thrones to bring you Zulu I mean the place even looks like rocks shrift so how did Daenerys bring all of the Dothraki over to the mainland I thought she had lost basically her entire Navy to you wrong dragon on the Dothraki go from being mere seconds from reaching the front line of the Lannister soldiers to suddenly teleporting back about another 200 meters there is no way that any of the Dothraki should be able to get through that line of Spears and shields horses are capable or thought they will not simply charge headlong into giant pointy sticks especially when they see that the horses that do are dying around them Daenerys is burning wagons that quite clearly filled with grain that are destined to feed the citizens of King's Landing also she's accomplished what she came for she's now just needlessly killing soldiers in the most horrific way possible all this is doing is strengthening Sosa's case on her being nothing more than a barbaric foreign invader vinas over there why would you be traveling with Qyburn scorpion if it's a one of a kind weapon then surely the best place to keep it would be in the red keep where Cersei the most important person to your side of the war resides I can't shoot with one hand yes you can Cersei literally shot balerion the dread skull with one hand pulling the launch lever and there it is again I really should have started a recurring sin series with this before now okay better late than never this [ __ ] Ron should have tied that bag up okay that unbroken shot was pretty good still not as good as the one in the Battle of the bastards however not a single dothraki screamer attacks brawn during his use of the ballista despite it being incredibly obvious that he intends to shoot down dragon near Sidorov key that's Willard oh oh come on how is that a fair thing to say they're outnumbered most of them are mounted and half of them are on fire because they are up against the medieval equivalent of nuclear weapons give him a break despite drug on being fully capable of simply stopping in midair turning around and heading straight towards him Daenerys and rogue on decided to perform a long drawn-out at purge pattern that gives ample time for Bronn to reload also she decides to climb to an altitude in excess of 1,000 feet then performing a long gingerly descent towards ballista bran I'm sure that will be considered excessive even for a world water stood car [Music] Daenerys doesn't immediately fly off drogue on tour imminent death what the actual okay I don't care what you say there is no king way she didn't slide off dragons back there he survives this not a single Lannister soldier other than Jaime attempts a shoot spear or charge directly towards Daenerys knowing full well that whoever killed an heiress will be hailed the hero of the Seven Kingdoms it seems Rian Johnson also watches this show also both of them survive this show spoils the Gendry reveal by crediting Joe Dempsie in the title sequence oh you're not telling me that Jaime and Bronn managed to swim that distance totally underwater the former of which was wearing a full suit of armor and has an artificial hand made of solid gold and even if they didn't do it entirely underwater how did they swim that distance without being spotted by dragon and Daenerys who have just moments earlier nearly been speared by Jaime and would have been clearly notice broad throwing Jaime out of the line of fire so they know that they're not dead no don't you mean with no I do not dragons where our partnership ends well last episode I seem to recall your partnership including dragons and firing long pointy metal objects at them discount Pompeii also I feel like it would have been appropriate to play Viva la Vida right about now and all I want to destroy is the wheel that is rolled over rich and Paul to the benefit of no one but to the Cersei Lannister of the world except you kind of don't you want to keep the part of the wheel that supports your claim and that claim sovereignty over the entire continent to Westeros you also want to keep the idea of an absolute monarchy aka your way or the highway what part of the wheel are you breaking again these people kneel to Daenerys when they realize she would have executed them with dragon fire as if it wasn't blindingly obvious already but surely if dragon fire is hot enough to melt solid rock like what happened at Harrenhal then it will be hot enough that burn suffered by humans would be of the third degree as in there will be very little pain from being executed in that way step forward mode Daenerys can somehow tell that randyll Tarly is a lord despite him being dressed no differently than the other soldiers she wasn't your queen until recently there was she when she murdered your rightful queen and destroyed house Tyrell for all time so it appears your allegiances are somewhat flexible no he was loyal to the Baratheon dynasty loyal to King Tommen and when Tommen died House Baratheon became legally extinct so Cersei was made Queen as she is the closest living person to a Baratheon as far as the general public is aware being Robert's widow and all and de cantar Lee son of randyll Tarly you are the future of your house this war has already wiped one great house from the world again bend the knee show it forgets that house Tarly wouldn't be gone with the deaths of Randall and dick on they're still talat Ollie his sister I'm not here to put men in Chains if that becomes an option many will take it I gave them a choice you're not willing to take prisoners why not again what does Tyrion seen her I Daenerys of House Targaryen breaker of chains and mother of dragons sentence you to die all of Daenerys says titles are so stupidly long that even she can't remember all of them in Skylands scorpion five balls bigger than you they couldn't stop it and she has three of them I think they're more than capable of stopping them to quote Thanos he should have gone for the head if he were Lana would you rather have seen your grand daughter married to Joffrey what time which one would Margaery been better able to control which one would have made her Leonard the true rule of the Seven Kingdoms well Marjorie was getting very close to being able to fully control Joffrey and unlike Tommen Joffrey wasn't so susceptible to other outside influences in other words for sure Tommen was more easy for Margaery to gain control over but he was also more easy for anyone else to gain control over dragon petting we both want to help people we can only help them from a position of strength how does going out of your way to burn hundreds of wagons of grain constitute helping people Oh shucky jollies Jesus so he just brought this random guy who claims to know the Queen directly before her I guess all it would take for Cersei to win would be for her to send someone with nothing left to lose the Dragons thrown to chuck a throwing knife into her heart oh come on give captain friendzone at least one kiss you know even going out with Chad the wannabe Dothraki anymore here we watch bran take control of a flock of Ravens which fly all the way from Winterfell to Eastwatch and beyond the distance between Winterfell and east watches 800 miles so let's increase that to about 900 miles to account for flight path variation and the additional distance flown beyond east watch assuming a raven can fly as fast as a carrier pigeon about 50 miles per hour that means that Brown would have been sat there for at least 18 hours and since he starts and finishes during the day he must have been left overnight as well also was this guy stood there for 18 king hours as well that Crippen boy claims to have seen dead men on a march beyond the wall thanks to the magical help of a raven with three irons are you serious there have been so many [ __ ] Ravens from different people all telling the same story there's the ones from bran the ones from Maester Aemon even Alliser Thorne went south and laid a whites hand at Joffrey's feet as well as Sam's story not to mention that even archmaester a Bros and mitts that the long night can't be pure fabrication what is wrong with everyone somehow a crippled boy survived for years beyond the wall when no one else couldn't well I can name a few there's John ed gran Gilly Mira the five thousand odd Wildings that will let pass the wall and you is he the one whose father and brother were just burnt alive how do you know this why would Daenerys or anyone else specifically informed the Citadel I mean sure they are the record keepers of Westeros but they didn't hear of Lord Commander Mormont all maester aemon's deaths until several years after they died one and a half minutes of two old men reconsidering their life choices while consuming alcohol will fight with the men we have unless you'll join us and give the country to Cersei but she already owns the entire country you've lost Dorne and the reach you have zero support from any of the noble houses of Westeros the only territory that is yours is your toehold on Dragonstone if you ally with Jon Snow you gained the north and the Vale what exactly are you losing bring one of these things down to King's Landing and show her the truth um no Terry and should know as well as anyone that Cersei will not care you currently don't read beyond the wall you're not in the Nights Watch anymore your king in the north Davos is probably the only sane person in this room I'm the only one here who's fought them the only one here who knows here yes in the world no there's literally no reason why I can't just send out a bunch of different groups of wildlings Nights Watch Rangers and northern soldiers of which the former two have definitely fought White Walkers before as you say you are a king you don't need to do everything of importance yourself these idiots clearly have no idea how diplomacy compromise or any modicum of ruling works you were very kind my Lords but John is our King he's doing what he thinks is best and more appropriate response would be you Lord Glover you're from deep Wilmots and you Lord Royce you're from rune stone in the [ __ ] Vale why aren't you remaining strictly within your areas of governance oh that's right you have to do in winter Val just like John has to do in Dragonstone they couldn't leave the north and expected to just sit and wait for that ghost ghost oh yeah the dog we haven't seen for nearly 12 episodes now have you checked on him recently you may have succumbed to the previously discussed no screen time itis he's a mother and father's chambers and nothing don't do that but say what you mean you always liked nice things made you feel better than everyone are you angry with me they were insulting John how did your train of thought segue from the fact that Sansa is now sleeping in Ned and Catelyn same burrs to you calling her out on allowed the northern laws to insult John that being said this is the beginning of quite possibly the worst subplot in all of Game of Thrones and I send the entire dawn subplot I should probably be preparing myself by taking a double dose of ibuprofen and half a bottle of vodka for good measure klava has 500 men royce has 2,000 efendim and john loses his army not if they lose their heads first I think it might be worth pointing out here that there are currently over 60,000 people and the are slash Game of Thrones subreddit who want our to rule the Seven Kingdoms Winterfell didn't fall into our hands we took it back and the Mormont and the horn woods and the wildlings and the Vale all of us working together don't forget the Masons they provided more than double the amount that house Mormont provided now I'm sure cutting off heads is very satisfying but that's not the way you get people to work together Sansa needs to explain this to someone who has reached biological adulthood wait these two are already here Jesus Christ who took Stannis half a bloody season to get from Dragonstone to King's Landing a distance of about 400 miles that's the equivalent of London to Aberdeen or Boston to Washington DC it's not a short distance yet these two managed to do it within literally three minutes of screen time also what time could be better to smuggle the most wanted man in the Seven Kingdoms into the most guarded city in the Seven Kingdoms in broad [ __ ] daylight also also Tyrion is in his hand at the Queen getup rather than more casual and modest attire preferably including a hood so he won't stick out like a sore thumb I was here I killed my father with a crossbow last time I was here you killed my son with wildfire yes I've seen Game of Thrones - so Tyrion was able to get into the basement of the Red Keep and by extension the entirety of the red keep itself completely and utterly unchallenged I'm pretty sure there's more security measures in place protecting the president of my Golf Club than the Westerosi monarchs clap being said I'm gonna have to remove some sins for this brilliant acting from Peter and Nick gendry's arms are not the size of barbecue gas bottles from three and a half years of non-stop rowing then getting ready have a new what for I've always known a denouement when it comes translation we couldn't think of an elegant way to bring Gendry back into the story so just go with it which granted I'm not really complaining about all too much and what about swinging swords this holy Sh a man thinks he's done he's ready to go back to his lovin family but before he gets his breeches up his lady of the hour pops a tiny spoon of that into his mouth five minutes later he's back in the race here have a taste right hurry to your favorite establishment or you'll put a hole in that chainmail well this kind of stuff only was to get a man aroused if well they have reason to be so unless there are aroused by the taste of crabs and I don't think they're gonna have to worry about such things arranged with you're going to arrange to pay us more than queen sir Gendry weights this long to do this wait are you not gonna bother to retrieve those thirty gold dragons that you gave to those now dead gold cloaks do you think anything of importance happens in the city without me knowing just can't Palpatine do you remember what father used to say about people the lion does not concern himself with the opinions of the Sheep well Timon was dumb and that philosophy is done the only way to ensure stable rule is to have happy subjects especially when it's essentially up to your subjects and their approval of you that determines whether or not you have a standing army of 500 men or 50,000 men oh look they're back what was that about long distance travelling medieval times being long tiring and highly dangerous I saw your father once at Winterfell I met yours in my shop you're a lot leaner you're shorter how is a difference of two inches much shorter I owe you my life that's why say over twice over you're not talking to captain friendzone here he saved your life once unless you count him retrieving you from King's Landing as saving your life there should be better at saying farewell bye now oh off you're the one who forcibly made him say farewell on all but one occasion someone who traveled halfway across the world and has endured the horrors of slavery in the fighting pits all for the sake of serving Daenerys appears to have completely resigned himself to a life forever in the friendzone no fifteen thousand seven hundred and eighty to guess how many windows are in the great Sept of Baelor not anymore that's true this High Septon Maynard he recorded everything why would a High Septon have the time or the opportunity to record how many steps there were in the Citadel Maynard says here that he issued an annulment for Prince Rhaegar and remarried into someone else at the same time in a secret ceremony in Dorne not only did the High Septon who supposedly documents everything failed to specify the bride of that secret ceremony they also decided to document this secret ceremony in the first place in a document which he would later allow to enter the Citadel's domain free for any budding maester to read of which the public revelation of such information could very easily bring the seven kingdoms crashing down if they weren't already but that's alright isn't here we can all become slathering murderous imbeciles in thrall to evil incarnate as long as we can have access to the full records of high septon menos fifteen thousand seven hundred and eighty two steps that number was steps sure thinks that this joke that's so old that is part of the fossil record is still funny are you sure you want to do this you always wanted to be amazed it I'm tired of reading about the achievements of better men I genuinely think they should have renamed Gilly to Samms internal struggles such thoughts by now also a man who has so much time on his hands that you can record his own bowel movements and count the number of steps in a building as a man of higher standing than Samwell Tarly I guess that means that even I could be considered one of these better men for someone who supposedly received stealth training from the faceless men aya is seriously failing at the whole stealth thing to the extent that even my blind dog could see that he was being watched aya forgets the golden rule of waiting at least five minutes before doing something you probably shouldn't be doing in case the person comes back because they forgot something little finger spying on Io really serves no purpose in this instance other than to make it blindingly obvious to the idiots in the audience that little finger is up too little finger II also if you wanted ire to find that scroll why did you make it nearly impossible to find I'm not saying leave it on your desk be your plan heavily hinged on Aya's newfound sleuthing abilities that you have no way of knowing she possesses how did they build this part of the wall that juts out into the sea like this because our lads they laid down giant blocks of ice stacked on top of each other hence the reason the wall looks like a layered cake so did they just chuck blocks of ice into the sea and hope they didn't melt and/or float away also how the did the builders stop this giant chunk of ice from melting in the water without magic or modern cooling systems isn't it your job to talk him out of it ideas like this why would torment be base to Eastwatch surely as the de facto leader of the whiling z-- who will make the most sense for him to be stationed at Castle black being the largest and most central position maximizing his effectiveness at commanding his wildling peers you're the hound I saw you once at Winterfell oh yeah you know who else I saw once at Winterfell Michael D Higgins the President of Ireland I think everyone in the world has met him at least once in their lives discount Avengers so are you guys the only party going why not send a few more for good measure you've got several thousand Marling's and black brothers guarding the castles of the wall I'm sure you can spare a few dozen for this extremely important task random shot of the Stannis stain table secret walking's good Fighting's better that sounds like the exact opposite of what steps you should take to prevent the frostbite of genitalia on the wall never how many of his people died none except of course him himself to be honest if mance had even looked like he was about to bend the knee to Stannis all the free folk would have said this and gone back to their own corners of the real North by not bending a knee they stayed together at hardhome and John was able to rescue at least a few thousand of them from the shores but you weren't fighting a great war back in season 3 were you your lips are moving and you're complaining about something that's whinging there's nothing killed six times you don't hear about it maybe because he didn't have to suffer the horrors of an insane dominatrix putting leeches on his dick while two old men watch on your father John and Jorah only having this conversation now after a period of at least several weeks at sea and a hundred miles worth of travel on foot are forfeited the right to claim this song it's yours please just take my sword take my women just take my [ __ ] wife man I'm begging you two whole minutes of aiiah telling science or a story from their past or for the purposes of allowing her to segue into a confrontation no he's dead killed by the Lannisters with your help what that's your pretty handwriting septim ordained used to crack my knuckles because I couldn't write as well as you rob I write to you today with heavy heart our good King Robert is dead really how does Santa's letter have anything to do with Ned's death sure you can make a case that was her letter that caused Rob's death even though that's also [ __ ] but Ned was already a dead man and that letter had no stakes in his survival child so was I I would have let them kill me before I betrayed my family sure you would have I didn't betray him I didn't betray Rob I didn't betray our entire family for my beloved Joffrey what the actual [ __ ] am i watching how did she betray Rob he didn't listen to this letter he rode South with an army with the intention of overthrowing the Lannisters of Joffrey and he would have done so regardless on how or who he got the news from this is so Dharma get this Han Solo quote out of my Game of Thrones they wouldn't think much of Lady sounds if they knew how she did sir she's bidding and they wouldn't think much of Lady I if they heard that she did Tywin's bidding for several months with an assassin at her beck and call who would have gladly killed him for you and because you were too much of a scared little girl Tywin was allowed to live which meant the Lannister Tyrell alliance was formed Stannis was defeated at the Blackwater and he could go on to conspire with Roose Bolton and Walder Frey to orchestrate the red wedding wanna suck my dick is that it dick talk dick but you do know it's percival me to whomever wrote that in the script please kill yourself I have a beauty waiting for me back at Winterfell if I ever get back there yellow hair realize challahs woman you've ever seen almost as tall as you Brienne of Tarth you know her your ways Brienne of Tarth that vague description is somehow enough for the Hound to connect the dots in his mind when that could have easily been a description of any woman played by a Scandinavian actress for life yes we all established this last episode can we move on please a mountain like an arrowhead you sure we're close to where are you planning on climbing it do you plan on meeting the army of the Dead wait no that's not right you guys end up panicking and sending Gendry back to Eastwatch do you have a plan what are you guys doing but if we go to the capital we'll go with two armies we'll go with three dragons anyone touches you King's Landing burns down to the foundation stones the entire city burns why not just burn the important people like Cersei and Jaime for what reason would you have to burn the entire city burning the Tally's for instance that was not impulsive that was necessary perhaps perhaps perhaps also no it was not necessary even if you were worried that others may choose the cell over bending the knee or being executed you have no shortage of prison cells on Dragonstone your grace I saw hundreds of arrows fly towards you when you fought on the Blackwater rush and I saw hundreds of arrows miss but any one of them could have found your heart and ended you mean think about my death quite a bit haven't you isn't that one of his jobs as hands of the Queen Daenerys is constantly preaching that she wishes to be the for the people type of ruler yet throughout this season she has been extremely narcissistic stubborn and up her own ass to the point where she will not even name a successor to continue her cause should she die which could happen extremely easily so what she's saying if she dies because all she gets to sit on her daddy's chair then her cause doesn't deserve to continue Court David Benioff and DB Weiss goddamnit we want the zombie polar bear discount lightsabers hello the Bears on fire and it's been on fire for 30 seconds or something shouldn't it be dead by now little finger forgets that as soon as maester wolkan hears of this drama he's going to tell Sansa that Littlefinger specifically requested the Raven scroll from maester luhan's archives I wrote that letter a woman who's already married not one but two enemies of the house by the time Jon comes back he'll have no army left is not like then she's your sister we may have disagreements but she would never betray her family she would if she thought I was going to betray Jon yes Sam so writing that letter had absolutely no consequences for Jon as he was up at the wall and had been since the second episode of the first season what would be betraying Jon is outing that letter to the northern Lords giving them a good reason to go for this and leaving now we rejoin our white hunters as they walk towards a weirdly shaped Mountain that doesn't appear to have approached any closer despite them having traveled through the night all because an old guy with half a face was told to do so by the fire-god well is Thoris still here why didn't they send him back to Eastwatch if they didn't bring Davos because he's a liability and they should have immediately sent him home purely because of the fact that he needs someone babysitting him the Suicide Squad decides to set a campfire to distract the white Walker when in reality the patrol was gingerly walking along so there's no real need for you to have halted them in order to ambush them and in doing so you just made the walker more suspicious and therefore more prepared for an ambush everyone who fights Jorah just can't help going for the neck wait what all the whites suddenly died when the White Walkers are killed well conveniently all except one who they can go on to capture how did the whites even scream like this well if it's one of those ones that is missing its jaw or missing part of its neck how did those one scream yeah but what if he's attacked on the way like you have already been at least twice doesn't he have to run over a hundred miles now this red shirt is somehow the slowest and ends up being the one who gets killed despite other members of the group being a man who has a serious injury and a man carrying a kicking and screaming white over his shoulder the domino effect of the ice breaking somehow it creates a perfectly circular perimeter of broken ice surrounding the center island also the break in the ice is clearly thin enough at the back for those whites to simply just step over it Gendry just traveled over 100 miles within about 12 hours granted the world record for 100 miles is just under 12 hours but as for people who have trained their whole lives running in ideal conditions on ideal surfaces wearing ideal clothing while Gendry fits none of those criteria especially considering a few days ago he had never even encountered snow in his life if these guys are freezing their asses off then why don't they use barrack and all thoris saws as a heat source or at least huddled together to preserve their own body heat the night King didn't immediately raise Thoris as soon as he died to kill John and his mommy army in their sleep we have to burn his body why are you wasting perfectly good wine by pouring it over thoris corpse wines way too weak and possesses far too low and alcohol concentration to assist in lighting a fire beric you lost your priest this is your last line video game terminology I'm worried about me it's not safe leaving you with Littlefinger and it's less safe than traveling thousands of miles south to King's Landing to be in the presence of Cersei Lannister who wants to see her struggle on the walls of King's Landing let me at least leave project behind to watch over you he's become a competent I do not need to be watched over or minded or cared for yeah but are you sure you don't want her to leave Podrick behind surely you've heard about his magic powers by now you taught me to do nothing before and I listened to you um no you didn't or have you just completely forgotten about the Battle of the Blackwater rush you're literally holding a massive ping warhammer just break the ice I thought you needed to run your hand along the sword to igniter in flames but no I guess the ears really are just lightsabers all we need now is for barrack to start deflecting arrows back as enemies oh and the guy behind him is apparently having an autistic seizure I don't exactly blame him Oh [Applause] cue to show Bing hell why are they doing to him shouldn't they just be killing him and leaving his corpse in a usable state to allow the night king to reanimate him [Music] daenerys ex machina well so I know there's a guy on reddit who's probably worked it all out but Jesus Christ heavily managed to not freeze to death while sat on that rock for upwards of a week what these guys already holding the spears / pikes in the previous scene explosive ice spear also instead of going for the larger dragon which was sat stationary with all the important people on it the night king decides to go for the smaller dragon flying 200 feet in the air now I remember why I hate this episode John cutting down White's left right and center wasn't enough to so much as crack the ice yet as soon as he is knocked over he instantly breaks and falls through the ice sheet [Music] the night king manages to miss a dragon that is much larger and much closer than the one he managed to nail in one shot John survives this so tries to trick me into believing that I'm watching a much better episode than I am Benjen ex machina come with me oh [ __ ] off there is time in the time it took you to slap the horse's ass you could have easily climbed on yourself show actually expect me to feel emotion for benjin's death when there was literally no reason for him to die if the knight King's magic is what is keeping these whites alive and killing him would kill all the whites ever reanimated then why couldn't he just turn off the magic of this particular white to stop Cersei from discovering the truth did you actually wait until he was on the SS Daenerys before you removed his ice crusted coat and wrapped him up in warm furs [Music] [Music] I guess I missed the scene when they taught ayah to open and close doors without making a sound I could really use that less of myself for research purposes he wants to be a fool just sit next to a handsome young king on the Iron Throne yes I've seen Game of Thrones too I could even become you would feel like to wear those pretty dresses to be the lady of Winterfell all I need to find out it's your face unless you can somehow make yourself look a lot taller then I somewhat doubt that someone of your stature would pass as a Sansa Stark also I is obviously not going to kill Sansa there was absolutely no tension in this scene and if you did genuinely think that I is going to kill Sansa then I'm sorry but you stupid as it always is in this show there's always without fail someone sat at the foot of someone's bed whenever said someone emerges from being unconscious not know about my queen but why what was the point she had already pledged to fight the night king there was no need for you to bend the knee I know a lot of people want the way they got the chains from but I'm far more interested in how they managed to swim underwater to attach them to Vissarion given that the dead can't touch water or they melt or something like that blue-eyes White Dragon oh look King's Landing has once again shape-shifted for some [ __ ] reason I guess the Dothraki brought their Mountain stretcher to stretch the mountains out into an open field also why did the Lannisters just not bother with consistently making the same sigils on their banners because these once seemed to depict a lion on all fours with the red and yellow colour palettes while these wants to picked a far more detail lion on its hind legs with a red and white colour palettes I spend my life around soldiers what do you think they spend that gold on family no without the [ __ ] you don't Jesus Christ there's been so many conversations about dicks and arses and balls this season that you'd be forgiven for thinking that it's a season of South Park Daenerys decides to position the unsullied and Dothraki in front of a tall and heavily fortified wall rather than in front of or near a gate that would allow them easy access should things go pear-shaped how many people live here million give or take although Jamie said there was only half a million at the time of Robert's rebellion so unless the population has somehow doubled in the past 20 years or so then one of you needs to start checking your facts brothels are far superior but what about the stuff they say about the northern girls discount Pandora's box wait the mountains are back I guess that means the Dothraki have left and compress those open fields back into Hills why do they build it dragons don't understand the difference between what is bears and what isn't land livestock children letting them roam free around the city was a problem and yet maesters believe that they are more intelligent than humans to someone who has supposedly named all of the Dothraki under hers Oh blood riders isn't that strange that's the same handful of familiar faces appear representing the leadership of the Dothraki your friends arrived before you do thought you were dead not yet you came pretty close I was only trying to protect her young libros she's alive Arjen where Winterfell protecting out of your hair the only one that means protecting is the one that gets in our way won't they me just to remind everyone this episode was not directed by George Lucas now thanks to me she's got two trainers heads coming right through her door to like four if you include Tyrion virus Podrick and the Hound discount Coliseum also associate decided to put up three tents despite the negotiations being between two parties whose every bad I do some banister got behind and some again to help them see it through Tyrion immediately assumes the big tall buffed guys the mountain despite the last time he saw him he was an insane sex driven maniac who would have never tired himself down in the Kings slush Queen's Guard the impact of Drogo and landing on the stairs doesn't immediately result in the whole thing crumbling [Music] despite the amount of dust dragged on kicked up when you took off Daenerys and everyone else remains completely spotless I think we ought to begin with larger concerns then why are you talking the smallest concern here do you remember when we discussed forth jokes he's wasn't even good it was okay it was certainly better than your one how about my armies and stand down will you go on your monster hunt or while you solidify and expand your position hard for me to know which it is with my armies pulled back who said that you have to pull back your armies if anything you of all people should be grateful for this truce you can strategically position your armies retake Casterly Rock now that the unsullied have left and manufacture more of those ballistas to counter Dany's dragons we have something to show you psych account also once again the Hound is being forced to carry extremely heavy objects all by himself when there are several perfectly capable men to assist him cut the guy some slack the last thing you want is him breaking his back doing admin work the hound manages to move and then open the white box without so much as a peep from the occupant when before him so much as tapping on the box warranted an excessive amount of pounding and screaming from the white [Applause] despite having as much as seven seconds to do so the mountain hands so much has drawn his sought by the time the why it was right on top of Cersei if we don't win this fight then that is the fate of every person in the world you mean every person in Westeros unless the night king can figure out a way of freezing the oceans or recreating the Dornish lamb bridge I've been around the world I've seen everything things you couldn't imagine and this this is the only thing I've ever seen that terrifies me I'm sure there's some hardcore book readers out there who were beg to differ in return the king in the north will extend this truce he will remain in the north where he belongs he will not take up arms against the Lannisters he will not choose sides well if all you're asking is for John to abide by the rules of the truce and then there's nothing stopping him from breaking neutrality after the Great War then there is nothing left to discuss the dead will come north first enjoy dealing with them we will deal with whatever is left of you so you're not going to attack until after they fought the dead isn't that precisely the terms of the pact anyway but when enough people make false promises words stop meaning anything then there are no more answers only better and better lies and lies won't help us in this fight except they would have helped you just right now as Brienne just said fuko's loyalty I didn't come all this way to have my hand murdered and if Tyrion or anyone else in the Targaryen party is killed and the city burns isn't that what you agreed on surely that would dissuade Cersei from doing so if nothing else and don't just step into a room with the most murderous woman in the world who's already tried to kill me twice twice you mean once when the Kingsguard tried to kill you during the Battle of the Blackwater oh and the trial for Joffrey's murder was Tywin's doing not Circe's he may not have killed Joffrey but you killed Miss Ellie you killed Tommen no oh come on you can make the argument that Tywin's absence killed marcela but Todman committed suicide because of deeds that you committed do it killing you know so she doesn't actually drink wine this season a sort of way of reminding the audience that she's pregnant yeah I must question why she would have a tray of wine and wine glasses you know study if that was the case she chose an advisor who would check her worst impulses instead of feeding them that's the difference between you well it clearly isn't just an impulse as she is still leaving the option on the table despite how many times you've tried to talk her out of it despite the loss of the old Targaryen dragons dying out over a century and a half ago their bones are still here after all this time having not fallen victim to scavengers or simply decomposing in the humid climate says the one who locked up regal and Viserion because as Jorah said earlier they have a tendency to burn and kill people and livestock that isn't theirs to kill just like dragon was doing during his misadventures around Essos yes you said that last episode there's no need to keep banging out the same lines for the sake of filler this episode is long enough as it is also things wouldn't really be all that different if you trusted John from the start you would still needed to commit Cersei which would have still required the white hunt and still required Viserion to be killed perhaps you'll remember I chose to help knowing that she has no intention on honoring her words Cersei decides to give Daenerys and John a lecture on the meaning of trust and loyalty only serving to dig her grave deeper than it already is they worship the god of death I believe actually that would be the exact type of person that I would trust given that they live their life via the teachings of a religion may it makes them far more honest and predictable why did you come to Winterfell to kill me for marrying our enemies and betraying my family yeah let's just forget that she only got tipped off to this idea after she discovered the scroll you sent to robb after she might as you what if she began I do it because I'm sure once Brown finds out that you were killed by aya he won't go actually I've changed my mind on the whole Lord of Winterfell thing go suck a fat one big sis also I feel like it's now important for me to reiterate just how [ __ ] this is the northerners are fully aware that Sansa was married to both Tyrion Lannister and Ramsay Bolton and that she spent most of the past six years of her life in the hands of northern enemies but perhaps the biggest contrivance of this is that Rob showed or at least told about that letter to several northern Lords including his mother don't see how Littlefinger thinks that any new information that I you could present to them will possibly turn their favor against Sansa if we sail to white Harbor together I think it sends a better message yeah but it's also important for her to get there alive and carefully rockin out with thousands of unsullied tens of thousands of dark and to fully go dragons we'll still send a message of I'm here whether you like it or not you could have lied about bending the knee to Daenerys oh could I know it's not like everyone on this King Island has told me for this five [ __ ] times over oh but now I'm going to receive a [ __ ] lecture from a eunuch who can't even stare headlong into the eyes of the ocean man without turning into a sobbing mess go [ __ ] yourself Theon and I was Ramsay's prisoner Gaara tried to save me yes I've seen Game of Thrones - is it just me or is a good chunk of this season to dialogue characters just reminiscing on past events doesn't Daenerys control all the boats and ships on Dragonstone if that's so then why would she allow the Ironborn to leave Dragonstone knowing that they're likely just going to abandon her calls I'm going to find her you're going to set her free these guys who pledged themselves to Yara placing themselves among their families at risk is submitting themselves to Euron have absolutely no interest in even attempting to rescue Yara [Music] even without balls that would still hurt a lot not for me [Applause] [Laughter] seriously what kind of Ironborn would follow Theon Greyjoy after all he's done by beating up this one guy he managed to convince all of these men who were prepared to go after a tropical island to spend the rest of their days to instead go on a potentially suicidal mission to rescue Yara you stand accused of murder you stand accused of treason how do you answer these charges Lord Baelish I mean the fact that I am pretty much everyone else saw this coming from two miles off should speak volumes about how out of character it is for Littlefinger to also not see this coming none of you were there to see what happened none of you knows the truth you held a knife to his throat you said I did warn you not to trust me Littlefinger makes no attempt to deny this despite it being extremely easy to do so unless everyone in the room has bought into the idea that bran is now a magical tree wizard you told our mother this knife belonged to Tyrion Lannister that was another one of your lies he was yours oh so are you is in on it realistically there's only two ways that you can rationalize this conflict between Sansa and i--i the first of which being that they were genuinely angry each other before they decide to talk to Bing bran and find out the truth which for reasons I explained earlier is [ __ ] or they could have been putting on an act to lead Littlefinger into believing that they are turning against each other which is [ __ ] because there's no reason why they couldn't have just killed Littlefinger in episode 5 and that would have been the end of it Sansa I beg you wait what this is Littlefinger's best attempt at defending himself cunning at least demand a trial by combat okay I will pay good money to see zombie Littlefinger in season eight make it happen D&D a man in King's Landing will march north in three days time it's a fortnight just to gather supplies for the train you don't have a fortnight the north falls we fall three days how do you know that the North will come under attack within the fortnight John and Daenerys gave me no indication on when the dead may attack nor do they really have any idea themselves and our troops to fight beside foreign scum Cersei says this then two minutes later informs Jaime that she has hired the golden company aka foreign scum to bolster her own armies they battle in the north take back the lands belong to us haven't you already done that I mean you have full control over the Crown lands and the westerland's as well as de facto control over the Revlon's the storm lands the reach and through her on the Iron Islands Dawn is likely in Anarchy so they pose no threat to you so what lands do you need to take back again Highgarden what is the most powerful army in Essos the golden company 20,000 men horses and look at how that turned out for Stannis also I know the golden company have supposedly never broken a contract but I also know that they are the remnants of the black file loyalists from the Blackfyre rebellion and something tells me that if they're trapped in Westeros with the world actually ending they might ultimately go back on their contract and support Targaryen scores rather than the Lannisters hello are you going to kill him no to the mountains going to kill me cop-outs in a single episode seen like silent night choral performance samwell tarly brand greets Sam with more enthusiasm than Sansa and I are combined I can see things that happened in the past I can see things happening now all over the world although I thought the magic of Green Scene derived itself from the weirwoods which only exists on Westeros come to think of it they only really exist in the north at least for the last few thousand years that is his last name isn't really small it's sad well the bastard last name one tastes usually comes from the region of Westeros at the father's house seats is from not the physical location of their birth so actually since his father was a Targaryen from the Crown lands his last name should technically be waters he in all Drago's matters to well here he would really honor in a secret ceremony well technically it didn't say that all it said was that he annulled and then married Rhaegar to someone else without specifying who they carry on two minutes of epic boat sex between John and Daenerys well brand voiceovers that John and Daenerys are in fact worryingly closely related I never could have survived what you survived you would have the strongest person I know I believe that's the nicest thing you've ever said to me oh wow I mean it's a pretty cringy line but still I've always wondered well it's so interesting about the landscape surrounding Winterfell that characters can spend hours on end just staring over the walls why is barrack Manning the wall now he's not part of the Nights Watch nor is he a wildling shouldn't he have gone south with the Hound to King's Landing so I guess that's it then you're not going to at least try to mount any kind of defense where did you even bother to man the wall for seryeong's fire causes a domino effect which results in the wall collapsing eastward all the way to the sea but the collapse westward conveniently stops just before it reaches the characters that we actually care about all of the i's collapsing into the sea doesn't immediately cause a mega tsunami that wipes out the entire army of the Dead Trump sweats nervously mr. Gorbachev tear down this wall [Applause]

Channel: ZexCentral

Views: 290,766

Keywords: game of thrones, game, of, thrones, game of thrones funny, game of thrones parody, game of thrones tv sins, tv sins, jon snow, kit harington, daenerys targaryen, emilia clarke, tyrion lannister, peter dinklage, cersei lannister, lena headey, jaime lannister, nikolaj coster-waldau, sansa stark, sophie turner, arya stark, maisie williams, season 7, game of thrones season 7, gendry baratheon, joe dempsie

Id: bUdnHqzX4fw

Length: 106min 18sec (6378 seconds)

Published: Mon May 06 2019