Everyone Is John

you're sitting down to watch your favorite roleplaying video a delicious drink in one hand look at mittens curled up gently on your lap purring away all of a sudden the image on your television changes it's a shot of a well a corpse like figure drags itself over the lip of the well they begin slowly walking towards you their lank hair covering their face as they stumble onwards mittens leaps from your kissing the figure draws closer and closer the hand it's coming towards the screen wait now it's coming out of the screen are you in the Japanese horror movie ringu or are you watching mystery [Music] quest welcome back to mystery quest today we're playing a role playing game called everyone is John this episode was originally live streamed as part of pickaxe week a celebration of our podcast Network I really hope you enjoy welcome everybody to mystery quest uh this is a role playing stream podcast video uh however we are doing this and I am joined by a whole host of lovely guests uh introducing them around the table we have the enigmatic Simon Lane hello yes it's me Simon Charles slay the Diggy Hall man honey Jew the Diggy Hallman himself uh his minder and best friend Lewis Brindley thank you for inviting me Tom you're so welcome thank you for coming uh the ever fabulous it is Lydia ever fabulous thank you Tom ever fragrant ever fragrant well they can't pick that up at home and so it's overpowering it's strong uh and SMS like barbecue beef okay and the sweetest of uh my beautiful boys it's Tom hello everybody hello welcome uh so today we are playing a role playing game called everyone is John uh the way this game works is all of you are going to be playing as the exact same character John uh you are each different aspects of his personality as we play through this game you are going to be trying to complete your own private quests that neither uh none of you know what other people are trying to do every time you complete your quest you're going to be rewarded with some of these special Point chips uh which will determine who is the winner at the end of the game but realistically as long as we have fun everyone's a winner but that is a tangible way to prove who actually did win as well uh the way we are going to be playing this is your each be vying for control of JN you all have amount of willpower tokens that during any scene that someone uh is going to take control of Jon you each beard to take control of Jon at that very moment wherever he was left off the last time so could be in a good spot or a bad spot and it's up to you to try and worm that way uh and make your obsession come true uh all of you have an amount of skills that you've taken for your your personalities and you'll be using those to pass tests um if you want to you if you want to try and pass a test and you're doing your skill you do it on a three plus on a D6 very very easy um if you're trying to do something that is not one of your skills you only ever succeed on a six um if you ever fail to complete a dice roll then you will immediately lose control of John someone else will get to take control and if you ever complete uh your objective then you'll lose control of John someone else will take control but you're all going to be trying to complete your objectives multiple times to score more points in turn Jon gets bored easily if you ever do something super boring you will lose control of Jon and someone else will take control and so that will normally be if you are decide to take a 12-hour flight because we're not going to role play through that entire uh entire scene we'll generally Jump Ahead in time but control will go to someone else so are you all ready to what if you're on a 12-hour flight and you've got your your iPod with you and you're listening to episode of mystery quest surely you won't get bored then oh definitely not definitely not hot new podcast mystery quest excellent I feel like if your is your secret objective just compliment Tom because okay oh give me control uh so are you all kind of clear any rules queries uh we all um kind of we can deal with those as time goes by Ultra simple system also if I've gotten anything wrong I'm doing it all on purpose because I know better than whoever made the game house rules house rules exactly and we're here we're playing for fun not Toby rules lawyers not for for the prize what's the prize for every one of those special chips £5,000 yes which is so generously donated by the yast a big round of applause to lley and Simon Lane out so a lot of money to be also any of these that aren't collected by you guys will actually go to me I will get paid out as well at the end there how many good luck everyone I'm going to say 30 I guess [Music] okay there goes that yacht we were thinking about yeah well okay right let's Jump On In so you can hear the sound of a car horn just blaring away what's that smell oh it's Smoke Barbecue be what's that it's barbecue beef it's Lydia oh my god did you just run over hit streamer liia oh no you come to and you have your car your name is John who would like to take control we do blinds right for you to take control you are each going to do a blind beard of how many chips you want to put in uh I'd say don't put all 10 in straight away uh because once everyone has run out of their chips the game is going to end uh there are ways that you might get some chips back later but we'll see how it goes mhm uh so uh also if you bid and you don't win control you get your chips back baby so oh nice right who wants to take control uh and reveal oh it's a three-way tie okay so if you have tied you get to bid again uh you unfortunately do not get to bid Lydia I because you're now dead apparently under the car what the [ __ ] oh right the Buu beef I I thought you meant yeah okay Tomas looking at me the entire time trying to figure out and you guys can reveal how much are you bidding okay people still bidding low slowly fighting it's the first turn it's we're nervous scared we don't know where we are okay I've got bid okay oh jez just punched the microphone okay if you uh two I thought you were going to try I thought you were I thought you were bluffing Tom I thought you wanted it all along mhm okay you are now in control of John uh your sat smash glass uh all across the dashboard of your uh 19 80 Honda Civic it's red it's not in good shape I don't think it even has an airbag maybe it does this one doesn't and am I okay uh yeah yeah yeah you're a few um few bruisers but generally not too bad um can I look in the little Dash and see myself check my hair and stuff and you 100% can um roll me a uh just a dice this is just purely based on luck yeah you're pretty good oh okay yeah pretty yeah not too bad okay you're all right I'm all right yeah you've got a bit of like M you've got a bit of a swelling around here I reckon you're going to have a black eye coming through in a couple of hours okay I'm I'm p i I'll push through the wind screen wow do that thing where you know you lean back in the chair and you kick the wind screen out I've never done it doing doing it he's doing it those grippers away just amazing demonstration sure you kick kick your way through the wind screen and I didn't even try the door no but hanging over the frame is a bit wared and uh yeah it is absolutely buckled you would never have been able to get out of it so I'm getting on the Bonnet is it daytime I have no idea great well uh as you went first tell me where are you H we are in New York City New York City okay this is perfect cuz I know great geographical information all about New York so I'm going to be a to tell you every single location and Street you can go to and not get anything wrong all uh okay great we have we have crashed on Broadway no way okay crashed on Broadway uh yeah as you get onto this Bonnet you look out and there is a furious yellow taxi cab driver hey my [ __ ] c i shouldn't do come on come on Tom you've only got three Accents in you and New Yorker Ain one of them Bing b boom bada bing bada boom hey you crashed into my car oh is everyone okay there's no injuries yeah no they seem they seem all right but they are mad okay and they are now approaching you it's okay I'm just going to check around the card to see if I've actually run over Lydia or anyone R me that dice have I run over anyone do you want to or not yes oh noia it turns out Lydia Ellery is 100% dead celebrity lyia Ellery famous celebrity creator of hit Netflix show squid game she is dead crushed yeah she was here for the promos for squid game to I thought she was there to see like Hamilton or something the musical cuz it's Broadway she loves she was no well she's performing in the theater performance of squid game which is happening right now very Arty so you wrote a six yeah oh my God it's a brutal death as well she definitely dead she is can I check uh yeah you can you can check can I put my finger and what are you doing to my dead body I might require you to make me some kind of medicine roll to know if she is dead or not got how does she look is she got her is her tongue hanging out she got teeth missing like yeah but that isn't super not like super super different to normal you literally have a skill the middle skill might actually be useful to tell dead right well no I don't need that yet okay I just need some part of her what I'm what I'm sorry what okay this is uh everyone now this uh this stream might deal with some adult uh adult subjects and so if you are of a sensitive nature um or don't like foul language it's it's got gruesome real fast might not be for you yeah we instantly barreled into bit are you taking I'm going to take some of your hair I'm just going to pull out some of your hair wow I'm going to stuff it in my mouth and I'm going to swallow it oh my God okay and any teeth flying around I'll have them as well any bits and maybe some blood too just like drink it down okay you're consuming it's New York there's going to be people walking by just not even paying attention phone people with their newspaper but there is a furious taxi cab driver who is coming up to you and they are absolutely disgusted and not impressed by this at all you just ruined their cab that's their livelihood and they're going to grab you grab you on the grab you right on the arm okay hey what what is all this you broke my car that's my cab well it's okay what the hell are you doing woman's injured quit call an ambulance call 911 I don't have a phone can you call an ambulance in your taxi cab sir uh you got to try and persuade me to do that because I'm worried you're going to run off let go of me unhand me sir oh he you're going to have to try and persuade your way out of that fine I'm going to I'm going to lay him out whoa wow I'm going to attack him you're going to attack I'm going to attack the T driver J okay can you make me some kind of attack role do you have attack based skills I have strong hands Tom very strong hands how are you attacking this person with your strong hands I'm going to strangle him Tom okay right uh when you roll a dice just do uh say out loud what you roll I'm going to choke out the taxi driver okay you tried to get another roll out of it you worse so you rolled a two um what you are able to do with your willpower you can increase a dice roll um by one oh uh so 4 a one for one basis you can spend your uh spend your things I'm good okay what a great position to read in right uh so now we are changing hands uh you will bid and then I will inform you of the situation that you're in as you kind of come to at this moment so a blind bid from our three remaining players uh and reveal who has bid the most two and two uh you guys beard again against each other who has beard the highest who wants control in this who wants to take control two again two uh okay you come to yeah uh this large uh this large New Yorker he's holding you by the lapels and uh you feel the whack a hard backand across your face what are you going to do about my goddamn cab he is so cross so furiously angry and you hear the the splutters of a a mangled woman underneath your your car I start screaming arrest me arrest me and then I headbutt him in the face okay uh are you trying to get anything out of that headbutt or just uh I'm trying to injure him as much as possible I want to knock it knock injured the taxi driver as much as possible okay you might have to make a some kind of dice roll yeah uh what do do you have a skill that is appropriate to I sure don't bold very bold you're looking for a six is that okay yeah do if you're trying to okay hang on hang on maybe I could skill it a bit sure give me yeah um I'm more than happy if you guys can make an argument so I I am I have a contortionist skill right so I'm going to really wind my neck up and like headbutt him in a really like Wiggly way a wiggly way him in a wiggly way like I'm going to bend my neck around and uppercut him with the back of my skull oh my God that is wow cuz he's holding you from the front I guess you're a contortionist yeah great make me that dice roll you a three plus with your Wiggly okay great that's um yeah he really got a good grip on you he really does okay uh cool we are changing who is in control of s yet again as you try to Wiggly headbutt him and it has gone terribly uh who would like to try and get a bid bid on this sure sure sure uh and 3 two one give me a reveal that is two for Simon Lane you're now lying on the floor uh in a pool of what feels like blood emerging from a body some of it could be yours a absolutely wrecked uh Honda Civic is right next to you and a taxi cab and this big very angry and I mean Super Duper angry the most angry you could get a New York cab driver ever is stood above you and a a crowd is formed and they're now taking photos I'm going to start yelling like questions at the man like I'm interrogating him like admit you were driving recklessly this is all your fault isn't it okay right I'm trying to force him to tell the truth okay and admit that he was at fault for the accident sure do you have a skill that is appropriate for that I have Force truth Force truth Force someone to tell the truth okay uh so you're trying to get this what I picked instead of fast talk right you force truth out of people they have to tell the truth what happens if I say is there a God never mind I'm just I'm just okay don't put me on the spot like that is it's a fail it's a two we are sucking oh God okay okay so we're really just speed we're just speedr running this that's fine oh I don't even get to bid do I no if you guys would like to bid again wow we are just going through this one at a rate of knots situations are getting slowly worse and worse uh yeah if you guys want to roll higher than a two at any point would be would be great so uh and you can reveal 32 one go for Lydia okay you come to you are now uh definitely going to have bruises in both of your eyes uh you're feeling a little bit roughed up like you've taken a bit of a kicking from this guy and uh you can see this big big cab driver and he's talking to two cops who are stood there and he's saying it was it was all what's the accent would even worry hey um walk it was all this ja Bron's fault look at him he ran over this This Woman This specimen of a woman and he said specimen he say good specimen I left that to everyone's interpretation uh he ran over this woman he's definitely at fault here take him to the slammer boys and uh yeah you are now being accosted oh bloody cost by some some police um tab driver sorry can you come back here please I'd love to have a word with you hey I'm still stood right here oh wonderful um I couldn't just give you a bit of cash could I to cover the car uh well the police are now here and they're stood maybe if I was to slip you some cash underneath the table the imaginary table it's got to be a lot of money a cab is real expensive well that's okay cuz I always have at least $20 on me so you're trying to convince this guy with just 20 no no no no at least $20 at least $20 at least $20 I might have more how much more uh $400 $400 wow holy [ __ ] okay well do you have some way of charming this guy because if you've got the money I guess is one thing I'm amazing at making cocktails okay well can I take you out for a drink sometime and make you a martini good sir I give you $400 I think you might have to make a screwdriver because you're screwed nice um I am willing to see where this goes but I'm going need a dice roll I I I need a six I think you might need a 6 somehow charm this is the time a see what happens here because I think this is if you like oh I can pay one you can pay one six whoa 400 bucks I love that and a screwdriver it's my favorite cocktail wonderful wonderful I guess the police just wander off or they're paying attention to just the mangled body of the woman oh yes hey uh where do you want to go sorry about roughing you up so for the cash oh oh well God that woman on the floor she's so beautiful isn't she hey not my type I prefer the skinny ones oh my God oh my God now I'm dead too we going to murder M so moving on where are we going H oh God you know what I'm feeling u a bit blue now after that you just take me to a park or something nearby a park yes um oh god oh Central Park no wait no that's in not that one sure it's right pretty sure it's right by Broadway Hey look it's literally there um H you know what um no I want to go and park a little bit further out please good sir hey I only know about Central Park are there other parks in New York City oh [ __ ] maybe okay all right well you know what um I don't actually need you anymore um whoa what about this cocktail uh oh oh God bloody hell okay look I just want to make sure this beautiful fat woman makes sure that that she can have um a good sending off as a as look she looks really roughed up and I'm a big fan of her her TV show oh I don't know if she's dead there's paramedics attending to her now she's alive okay she lives no Lou her hair and teeth oh well all of you kind of oh we all did yeah you're right we all complic that's annoying all right then she's not looking good but because because the paramedics are here the [ __ ] what the [ __ ] I came here to hang out with some friends and I'm getting absolutely bloody brutalized yeah sorry we were playing I thought playing everyone's job not just the roast of Lydia no you're you're doing great you're you're all right um um all right let's just go to a a a bloody place I can make you a bloody strong cocktail then you want to go to the park or the cocktail place like you choose cuz there's the park on one side of the street and this amazing cocktail bar the other side and we're currently crashed in the middle so we could we could go anywhere as long as it's one of those two places let's get a let's get a cocktail then okay great you uh you head into what's the name of the cocktail Place ooh the Speak Easy boot shine leg The Big Easy boot shine leg bar well I guess that's the last time I get some uh input from just uh just say words okay the spyy bootshine leg bar um yeah great place real Smoky uh you know it's kind of like more than tourists and it's weird that it's on Broadway Central Park but uh there's uh some smooth jazz uh playing a someone on saxophone a piano a woman a big big sequin dress uh singing a just a super sad tune oh and uh yeah you guys rock in there so is this some kind of date uh would what what do you what do you think would you like it to be wow such a charmer it's not one of my skills all right Charming is not a skill that I possess okay uh well we no we'll just keep it more let's keep it a bit casual shall we casual thanks for the 400 bucks you're welcome by the way thank you for not telling anyone I was eating that woman's hair and teeth yeah what was that all about oh never mind so shall I get you a little uh screwdriver then I would love that okay wonderful well I've got to make it I suppose Ace uh yeah you don't work here so uh yeah there's um a a bar bar guy okay um he's uh you know spitting into a glass and giving it an old wipe maybe they do that there well they definitely do it here um that's why this place is only for local yeah because you really got to like um uh what's this character called uh Charlston Charlston uh Charleston you like Charleston uh he speaks a bit like this I've decided uh uh what could I do you for there patrons oh what's wrong with your eyes look you look terrible all swollen and like blooded and I was wondering sorry it's a bit of a random request you mind if I pop by there and make myself a little cocktail normally I'd be the one making the drinks here uh it's kind of my job what if I slip you 20 bucks you know what sure I imagine here they probably would is what I say come on round and make a cocktail uh to what end do you want to make this cocktail uh just my good friend here we've got a blossoming friend hey it's for me okay we don't even know the name of this guy do we Jimmy it's hey it's me Jimmy Jim Jimmy I drove a c but not now but I've got 400 bucks pretty good day and maybe on a date but we're keeping it casual for now okay I don't know where this is [ __ ] going yeah where is this going now I'm stuck in this bar now with $20 in my pocket all right well no well I've got at least in my pocket uh okay well uh so here are the cocktail things still don't really know why you're making a cocktail but you're welcome to roll some dice and see where people people take this adventure okay you want me to roll want me to well you want to make a cocktail well yes I'm good at making them though okay but why are you making this I don't know well because it was the only way I could get him to bloody well not arrest me right okay sure what if you were out a date with this guy you just asked to go to the toilet and slip out the back door I'm sorry I've got to go to the little girl's room I've got to pop to the little girl's room Jimmy okay no no problem uh sure I'll wait here for that cocktail okay and then I go slip out the toilet bathroom clb the window climb out the window let you know you can um so you go into the bathroom yes absolutely disgusting uh there's um some cubicles and just graffiti everywhere uh this place has not seen a mop in a long time there's flies yeah there's a there's a window here sure you want to yeah I'm going to I'm glad to climb out right now okay sure yeah I think this is like big enough you can like slide it open and uh have a little go and you are now out in the back street you hear like in the distance through through the window through the the toilet into the bar like hey I can't wait to get my cocktail oh Jimmy really really thirsty oh Jimmy it's all coming up Jimmy today uh and yeah you're now in this like this back Alleyway trash kind of built up uh real Moody it was one of those greats with steam coming out of it probably I imagine that everywhere yeah there's a rat like a horse cool cool rat nice and yeah you're stood stood just hanging out oh bloody all right charston comes out for a smoke oh yeah leans out at the back door head dangling out the toilet window hello so yeah where where or what would you like to do if you don't have any strong ideas then you can just happily lose control and we'll um just I think I need to lose control for a little bit okay well you have managed to successfully step outside it is up to you guys now if you want to do a bid on uh what you would like to do oh oh it's two for both leis and Simon an interesting play Let's see you will take this to the Finish Line who wants it most and reveal it's two for LS Brindley and only one for Simon Lane uh you come to you are stood in this just really just horrible back New York alley there's cboard boxes piled up um stinky stinky bags a really big rat walking around smoking a cigarette and what would you like to do okay climb back in the toilet window oh for God sake you're the we'll head down the back alley towards the back back side of Broadway M the back of the theaters going down uh yeah the back of the theaters yeah what's the name of the street that's behind Broadway uh small way and or back way uh let's go with that so yeah you're heading down back way and there's uh yeah you see um a a couple of New York hobos hanging out there and uh you know every now and again from the back of all of the big Broadway places uh you know actors on cigarette breaks some of them shooting dice probably ohic and uh what yeah any I recognize rolling a dice two no it's like it's the middle of the day none of the big stars are kind of like performing right now or you know they might have more exclusive smoking areas for the real a-listers um let's look for the most exclusive looking place oh there's one it's the fanciest one uh what was the fanciest one on Broadway again I often the um fancy theater that's there yeah that really fancy one the Showbiz Theater the Showbiz oh the Showbiz Deluxe um cuz they had it done up uh you know um I think it was like just post lockdown so they really need to get people back in so lots of gilded things everywhere multiple chandeliers oh really fancy really fancy people they've got all the best Stage shows oh fantastic cats um warhorse I nice I'm going to walk up to the the um the the the person who is at the I'm going to CH if I can get into the back of the fancy fancy one into into the back of the theater back okay yeah there's um there's someone there stood there smoking what hit stage show is on right now cats it's cats okay yeah there's uh Mr mes uh but his stunt double is that a cat in cats sure and they're just there smoking smoking a cigarette like licking himself yeah yeah full costume is he method yes uh with one leg up uh they're doing the play version of the film he's got a bomb hole as well right built into the costume very is it black cat you told me yes sure and they s there um smoking a cigarette okay now I W can I help you Christ ah yes you are my Familiar of course it's me Mr mes uh I don't I don't I've never seen cats and so it's but it's an updated version right it's not the Andrew Lloyd Weber version yes it's a new one oh different it's different songs it's like a like a re it's post-apocalyptic oh wow like Planet the Apes for we cats in it's like that and you notice that this he's half cat half cyborg as well it's all um it's all costume but it's uh you know the re cats 2 Judgment Day Judgment Day exactly wow uh yes uh I'm no I'm an act I'm Mr beiles I'm in character right now yes I recog I know I know I'm a big fan um as a as a spiritual person myself uh I know that cats are also in touch with the spirit world W and I'm sure you felt the spirit world touch you um Mr Myan yeah you've seen the the film I do commune with the spirits it's one of my post-apocalyptic Powers fantastic oh we have got such a lot in common um would you could you possibly give me a tour the backstage I'd love to I'd love to have a look around my feel like I need some kind of I really shouldn't uh it's real fancy in there they don't let me in well listen I have to smoke out here I can I can do a little reading for you and you know see how your how things are aligned so to make sure you give the best performance that you can you know I don't want you going in with any unaligned chakras or um spiritual impedances upon your performance penises yes now I'd love that uh I'm going to finish my cigarette if you can do this in about a minute or two I would love it and then you can have a little tour of the backstage sure okay the Ritz I just put my hands around his neck and I CH him death oh my God Jesus what the [ __ ] is wrong with what the hell what the [ __ ] is wrong with you that is not where I thought that buildup was going uh cool right roll me a dice three I've got strong hands okay use your strong hands you choke Mr mes to death cyborg Mr mes so like the the little led the red LED H uh yeah you are stood there with a dead Mr mes uh windpipe crushed neck basically broken uh cigarette limply hanging in one hand okay I take some of his hair swallow it down what the [ __ ] pull out some hairs okay maybe you know and then I'm mean I'm in I'm into the theater yeah you are are successfully in the back of the theater it is a Warren of uh sort of just ping and tunnels winding in between stages there's dressing rooms uh you know prop stores we head to the dressing rooms H 100% you can yeah they are right around the corner okay I'll bang on the first door uh great uh someone answers okay sorry wrong room I bang on the next door okay no no one answers you I I pushed my way in or open the door yeah yeah no these aren't locked um yeah this one's got a big gold star on the front and who's it say roll me a dice to see how famous they are three um it is who is a three on celebrityhood that would be in cats Danny Dy Danny Dy it's me Danny Dy yeah Danny Dyer is in cats um love that yeah it's Danny Dy okay brilliant um so I go in mhm he's not there I guess no no he's currently in dress rehearsals right but there's like a is there like any of his personal effects maybe oh loads of loads of it yeah all his clobber is in there uh you know his odd man stuff okay so his pogo stick he loves Pogo and me Danny D fantastic stuff so I'm going to go around is he got like a toothbrush or something um maybe like a hair brush or comb do you have like some Pomade yeah yeah they' definitely be like a razor there'd be hairstyl stuff sure he'd have a razor in here yeah there's a little bathroom in this room lavishly furnished um but you can guess you know there's even nicer rooms than this but a lovely gold sofa a gold table with a mirror lights all around it and oh the lights oh that's perfect uh he's got a golden comb and Golden Razor all provided by the shz deluxe CU they're real fancy in here and yeah there's like a little ums side bathroom attached to this so they don't have to kind of like run through the building okay right I'm going to uh go up to the big dressing mirror with all the lights on it clear everything off okay like neatly or just give it smash it all to the side okay oh my God his Mom's ashes were oh no on there uh bird God wasn't it an NN did I no it was an n and well smash now okay well I'll grab some of the ashes though okay great oh God and scatter them sort of in the middle and also then I'm going to vomit on Demand right that's a skill I have the skill vomit on demand yes okay so right to what end to get all of the bits of um materials that I've collected thus far so teeth and hair hair and teeth into a big from uh hit streamer Lydia yeah Mr mes and now Danny D and then they will stare into the dressing room mirror okay well and conduct a sance Tom to to summon the the spirits of the Dead Tom ominous okay you are going to conduct a seance right right we need to unpack this is everyone is everyone with me so you're going to need to uh roll me a dice for your vomiting um that is a skill you have that's a five you successfully have vomited blood all over all of this stuff oh my God just uh yeah you have have a pool of Ash and teeth and blood and hair yep and that's how you're doing is anyone coming through L is is everything okay I just want to check in on you is everything I am reaching Beyond to the other side please will someone speak with me I'm communing with the spirits of Danny Dyer's mother who may or may not be famous I don't know also the spirit of Mr mopes and also the spirit of Lydia squid game I'm not who may or may not have passed on to the other world okay so you're trying to communicate with one of those three I'm hoping that one of those three fingers crossed is a dead celebrity Tom okay right roll me your can can someone just check if Danny D's mother is famous is it Barbara winds is that his mom that's his mom yeah oh my godil right you could tell me where this [ __ ] goes so as I watch my own image in the mirror it transforms to the image of Barbara Windsor Danny D's mother from East Enders right that's it it was Barbara Windsor's ashes in is she even dead I don't know I don't know in this fictional world yeah yeah um and how does she speak oh cheeky oh that's cheeky get out of my ass house she means house but she says a yeah oh I'm speaking to you from the other side that's it nailed it how what's going on oh it's so cold and dark down here Barbara I loved you in the carry-on movies the one where you got your BS out my my bra flies off and it hits someone in the face I love that thank you so much I'm so glad all right Barbara goodbye no no don't set me back it's so cold at uh is anyone else there anyone else any other Spirits from from the from the other side right I have a feeling was that do your go I did do my go I did do my go okay so you lose control and Jesus now uh you can have a token yes and someone else someone else can take control if you guys would like to beard against each other Jesus went so okay oh my God I'm so pleased that work whereas everyone else is just mouths are Gap what just happened uh as Lewis has completed his objective you can complete it multiple times uh for sure but whenever you complete your objective you lose control handing over to one of the other players uh can you reveal how much have you bid you come you come to you're staring in into a mirror like it's kind of all these lights around uh there's this kind of pentagram of Ash and blood and teeth and hair and for the Split Second you think that you see Barbara Windsor in the mirror being dragged by flaming hands down she go to I don't know it wasn't it wasn't my choice but only for a split second uh and you hear her scream uh what would you uh what like to do but bra flies up through the oh my so okay first things first I have to try and dispose of like all this stuff cuz it looks [ __ ] weird if someone's to walk in right now I would be in deep [ __ ] so I'm going to I'm going to attempt to hide evidence roll just roll me a hide evidence is a skill that I have hide evidence yeah I thought it I thought it might be useful no I'm I love love it that you're getting some use out of it I almost thought about using it on like the taxi and then I realized there's no way no if you if you try and do something if you roll that dice yeah it will happen sometimes with the I normally I'd say you can't do anything too absurd or Supernatural paranormal but we did just have a seance and so you know uh I'm I'm pretty for giving with what you're trying to do uh so hide evidence yeah there is blood and teeth and hair everywhere Barbara wi's ashes and all of Danny D stuff is just smashed on the floor that's a three God okay uh yeah well tell me tell me how you do it tell me what happens okay um well obviously there's there's there's the toilet next door M I'm just going to flush everything down the toilet um all that blood hair teeth you know I think in you know in my life I'm sure not me uh but John might have had some you know big stools and he knows what can flush these are American toilets as well they used to handling big loads and hair sure stuff great yeah so I think I can just get all of that just and flush it away Bosch yeah yeah you scoop this all up um with with uh Danny D head shot or something clean and just dump it all in the toilet yeah it is gone this place is looking cleaner than when you came in that's amazing uh evidence has been hidden successfully uh you did a fantastic job okay right I need to get the [ __ ] out of here um okay I I leave the dressing room yeah you're back in that Warren of uh corridors and stuff uh some people pass with a a big kind of wooden palm tree type thing bunch of dancing girls kind of oh all can can their way past you right yeah real real busy in this back back area but people aren't aren't really paying a lot of lot of notice to you okay I'm going to go um back to the um the back exit you yeah you walk out there and there is a the broken neck figure of Robo Mr mop please oh just lying lying there okay um he not been discovered yeah try hide evidence [ __ ] it why not okay hide evidence in the body um sure you know there's a lot of bins and stuff trash cans MH in the alleyway trash cans piles of boxes uh big rap um might just think it's a dead cat very large well roll me that Dice and you can tell me how well this goes it doesn't go well it doesn't go well you try to hide the body this feels bad uh right you've lost control who is going to try and assume control of of John and reveal wow three Winer okay right you you come to uh you are dragging the half Rob half cat form of Mr M's the actor uh neck definitely uh pretty uh pretty broken mhm and you're half putting them in a bin uh when all of a sudden you hear uh o who who ruined all my clobber where's my Mom's ashes and you hear Danny Dyer stamping around as someone has gotten rid of all of their personal effects mhm and you can hear them coming your way I want to I want to burst back into the backstage of the cat's area super easy the door is open okay I burst back in looking for Mr M what's his name mustach mustaches Mr M Mr M is dead I want his I want his dressing room okay yeah I'm looking I'm looking for Mr M Mr M's star on the door uh you might have a problem with Danny D before you can find it I'm needs some way of getting past him his is like the second room right yeah oh okay right you know what In fairness maybe the first room the closest to the shitty exit yeah that might be Mr mof you can find it you found Mr M's room but Danny Dy is on the hunt I'm kind of banking on the idea that he's such a method actor that he's going to have a lit tray a cat bed and a cat sort of carrier in the room roll me a lucky nice just to see the higher the number the more of these things will feature in it if it's a low number oh it's a six it's a six right you go into uh Mr mle's changing room it's like entering another world wow it feels a bit like you you even feel like a cat when you walk in here a giant cat tree in the corner a huge ball of yarn a catnip all over the floor uh any kind of cat thing you can imagine there's a lit tray with fresh hits in it there's a reason why they have him so close to the the main door like because it's pretty stinky mhm and uh is there anything else you need or want in your was there a person in there no okay no no remembered why did they go in the second room then when you knocked on the first door someone said hello there is a person dressed as a mouse my God cowering in the corner no Mr mopes please don't kill me oh my God uh they're pretending to be a little a little bit injured um uh Mr mopes I'll be good okay okay they're carrying I stroke the mouse I'm like it's okay Mouse oh thank [ __ ] I thought [ __ ] miss myself loes back Jesus Christ that guy's are that guy's a of work they pay me to pretend to be a mouse that he can bat around a little bit uh yeah what what can I do you for I want the cat carrier there's a cat carrier in there right yep yeah right over here it's really big it's this room is massive actually yeah I am going to amaze you Mr Mouse oh no you call me uh Harold Harold I'm going to amaze you Harold with a feet that unlike anything You' ever seen I uh fold my body and I get inside the the cat carrier uh the door just um door it just opens here look there you go big cat carrier wait you're not a pervert as well are you um if you want just be left to your other devices I might just go the uh out the back I no Harold I need you to lock me in this cat carrier and I I get inside you get inside the cat carrier this giant cat carrier in cyborg oh yeah it's a post-apocalyptic carrier as well wait oh yeah it's got like Star Trek doors there's Star Trek doors surea uh yeah and you go in there he seems absolutely baffled and a little bit confused and resistant um look I'm I'm PID to uh you know tickle one guy fancy not so much yours and uh I don't know if I want to be involved in your perversions it's it's okay it's okay it's okay get lock me in lock me in Harold definitely does seem like a weirdo all uh I might need some kind of dice roll to convince me of your shenanigans fast talk if you want to play out of fast do you have fast talk as a skill yeah oh well yeah [ __ ] it roll me roll fast talk four okay what are you saying to him he seems reluctant all right I'm not entirely sure if I want to be uh Harold I understand you've had a long history of of Mr mopes doing things to you I can sure you I'm not him I'm Afra I'm putting on a show for you right now howold I'm entertaining you I did want to enjoy the entertainment business but I ended up doing this this terrible job that's a shame well well I I'll I'll I'll I'll do this for me and you can come on tour with me oh wait do I do you want me in the mouse costume or not yes okay uh great well they uh so they put you into the cage yeah and then they lock the cage there is a definitely a lock to stop Mr mof's getting out because sometimes when he has to be taken for his Jabs or something uh yeah okay and then I uh H Harold I am going to do the most death defying Escape you've ever seen from this cage oh okay um I cannot cannot wait to see that it's what is the cage we're talking about it's a Star Trek sci-fi cage post-apocalyptic cage well you invent you conjured this room into existence with your six so I will let you completely describe this mess of a confused I like a post-apocalyptic rusty iron iron cage with a big padlock on surely impossible to escape Harold wouldn't you say he he has a waggle of the lock y like yep well unless you've got the key which is uh here oh yeah hold on to the key Harold I will not need it for my first display of incredible uh contortionism I will fold myself into a I will fold myself through the bars and escape this cage without opening the lock okay uh right uh I don't believe that is possible I don't think a human could do it I'll fold myself in half look at the size of those yeah no one could do this watch me and I do it do you well do you want to roll me a dice to see if you can do contortionist skill you're going to contort want you to roll [ __ ] one on this contort your way through he did it great explain what happens here I uh fold my body into like a a sort of cube uh with my contortionist skill perfect shape and I fit through the bars in a spectacular display that and wow Harold Cube not quite wide the cube is the last I'm thinking the bars have square holes like a mesh sorry yes yes a perfect Play-Doh exit through the bars yeah like one of those Play-Doh things you yeah squeeze your way through those bars that would be horrifying to witness MH but Harold's very press oh w wow I take about this is amazing fantastic work uh and I believe you have done your um someone like to try and take control right now we'll be millionaires Tom you and your squeezing through bars and me and my rat costume what a spectacular show all right don't put me out of a job sorry uh okay anyone wants a bid three two one show wow three Oh I thought Simon might try and take it so I'd had to bet big okay uh right you come to you are kind of very uncomfortably unfolding your body and there is this this guy in a mouse costume just John that was amazing oh I can't wait for us to go on tour together oh you're a natural oh so good oh thank you so much can't wait to get out of this mouse costume oh wait no you love the mouse costume okay right we can work it into the bit very sexy right um I think I I think to really sell this though I should be just as as a cat as well am I dressed am I dressed as a cat now no no but I'm sure that there's a spare costume in here as this was the changing room 100% there's a spare costume uh I'm completely sold by you and your skills wonderful wonderful right I'm going to put the costume on okay there yeah in the like a sort of hidden fake wall uh there is like a clothes rack that you know looks a bit more human humanlike and yeah there's a bunch of half slide B half cat costumes wonderful okay all right so I'm just going to look away now look away it's gonna all right yeah Shimmy Shimmy Shimmy Shimmy Shimmy Shimmy Shimmy goes into the corner and right okay but not the one with the the cat [ __ ] not the cat [ __ ] corner all right good good for him right so um right I've just got to go use the bathroom Jimmy what's your name it's me Harold it's Harold I remember that one uh Harold I've got to go and have a piss I'll be back in 5 minutes right okay I'll be here waiting don't you go anywhere I sure won't um can't wait to see you do your amazing performances our career and our lives together we are got to make it big oh big big big big big right so I out I go shut the door really quickly and I am on a mission I'm on a mission right so we're in the dressing room area right yeah you're once again back in this Warren of corridors uh the Canan girls there going back the other way hello uh there's like big big poyene boulders being carried along uh some people with a pan of glass probably oh they common in theaters right maybe so I squeeze my way around everyone um and I hear in the distance the noise of the the production happening oh yeah yeah yeah that's um that's going on right now that's going on right so um but in my my cat costume yeah you're full Mr mopes up yeah what are you uh trying to do uh I am getting up onto the stage uh as it's my part well uh yeah as you approach the stage uh yeah there is a producer um or some kind of person that they look like they're in charge uh behind the stage and they're like shouting at people uh like hurrying people up and they're like Mr mes where have you been you said you going to take a two-minute cigarette break you dirty rat you oh my God hurry up uh you're on right now now you head on out and everyone boom the [ __ ] [ __ ] you Mr mopes now this this sorry you well you can carry on booing me if you want head out yeah the theater is packed and I thought this was a dress rehearsal lot of times passed press yeah press rehearsal it's all press here to see it um yeah now everyone knows that in the cyborg futuristic retelling of the cats movie uh sorry yes theater production that a really important story element was it was that they concentrated on all the cats that got run over by big futuristic tank vehicles and they had to lay those cats to rest to say goodbye to mittens and tubby and that was the whole that was the whole um number wasn't it it's the whole goodbye my old cat friends yeah yeah the reason why everyone's doing uh is because uh Mr Robo Mr mopes is the one who gave the security codes and that ended up causing the death of all of the the cats cat and uh right so yeah um right I get I get the scene where your um your St were established I don't know where it's going though oh I do right okay so they're all the the the cat is is very very futuristic production here where it's like the cats being laid to rest in a in a coffin and all the other cats around it mewing mittens my all these cat very very sad somber moment so I I run on and I freaking whip my costume off I hope I've got something on underneath and I just go I do I do I do have something on underneath and I go hello everybody okay um okay I sure right so in this scene dozens of actors all dressed as cats uh Robo cats are stood around this really somber like funeral um there's like a real like f to pay respects moment uh it's there's fake rain coming down they got umbrellas cat husbands and wies sobbing little child throwing a byee daddy like a cat toy onto the the coffin Danny D there is on stage yeah Danny D doing the funeral uh eulogy yeah yeah yeah he's the cat priest cat priest and just as he is saying all right everyone F to play your bloody [ __ ] respects uh you pull off your clothes and you say hello everybody it's me John yeah great well here you go here is your thank you uh I don't know if other people are going to be able to work out what your objective was but who would like to take control and you can Jesus wow big boys uh right uh you have some kind of onstage funeral scene uh surrounded by people dressed as cats and Danny D also as Robo Robocat um is just insense you have ruined this on press night as well what are you doing okay I raised my arm and I I break into song okay okay you breaking song Tell me the song everyone is a GH uh behold I am here it is I who can speak to the dead of us now and I climbed down into the grave and I shake the actor the the dead cat actor in the grave right okay yeah yeah uh speak to me I demand that you speak to me okay this is uh definitely a thing do you uh roll roll me some kind of dice to see what this is it's not a good dice that's two what were you hoping I was hoping that the actor would would speak to me Tom okay right you're shaking them but it turns out that it is uh it's just like a like a mannequin down there it's not a uh and its head falls off Danny dies like you bloody plonker you're ruining our [ __ ] show this is this is my Magnum us and it's my GFF he's I'm sorry Mr D sir uh well you have lost control who wants to bid into Christ on a bike into this into the best Stage performance that has ever been made uh do you want to bid three 2 one reveal okay good okay there is a absolutely mad Danny D staring down at you you're stood in a grave uh surrounded by uh actor cats okay uh there's they're now it's begin become more of a scene like they thought something like you know was this a new part had there been some last minute changes uh you can hear um one of the producers off to the side what the [ __ ] are they doing oh my God this grave that I'm in it's like the trapo thing right must be like a dice just a luck yeah just a luck dice oh no like man you stamp down and like solid concrete all the way to the core of the earth uh you can see the tri like 5T away from you but yeah uh no you are in absolute like this is basically Bedrock uh oh great just [ __ ] great thanks Louis I'm going to have to use um um I'm going to have to try a new spot hidden to find a way out of here oh no wait hang on you what if I I okay I examine I look up uh the governor the man himself hard man Danny D I I examine him I do a sort of a a a visual um what's it called Pat down a visual pack down yeah okay uh as a spot hidden um what are you h to achieve literally anything sure uh yeah all right roll your dice oh oh my God okay you can just you just tell me where you want this to go exent excellent right okay as you can spot whatever you need it's not Danny Dyer oh oh my God who is it it's Jason Stan okay okay I can keep a s yeah yeah it's Jas it's Jason's [ __ ] Stam I I leap out of the grave and I whip off the Cs oh my God what to reveal yeah to reveal that it's not Danny D you bloody bastard I'm Jason St now everyone's going to know that I'm not actually a cat and I'm like look everyone look at this this man this is not Danny Dyer at all this whole show he's been trying to ruin everything he's been trying to ruin Danny dy's career oh never bloody do that uh yeah okay right where is this guy there is g g in the audience people are shocked and stunned because apparently they all thought he was Danny Dy but actually it's probably far you know a more famous more famous person it's only Jason stord is his mother also Barbara Windsor turns out yeah they are brothers a lot of people know that are brothers and okay yeah you you're creating quite a scene eyes are now off of you and now on Jason Statham uh people are oh my God it's Jason Statham we love him he's so hard Jason Statham isn't it true that you killed a man I don't know what your bloody talking about Force truth forse truth wow okay this again this is um this is parody this is just entertainment I'm not implying that Jason STM has killed a man either by accident or deliberately but if he had it would be [Laughter] deliberately no the only thing he's killed is your career oh on Broadway do you want to spend a well I could actually spend a token all right I did it but I didn't mean to all right I'm Jason Sten who did you kill uh you know you you can tell me tell me what are the details of this bad this bad murder uh really anything at all you you take the wheel on this one okay Jason Stam admits to being Jack the Ripper what wait so how old he's like reincarnated he's like 150 years old maybe he's a vampire I don't know well I killed I killed five prostitutes in Landon I killed in the 1880s or '90s or whatever all right you finally got me the gig is up it's me Jason Stam some kind of a moral being he rises into the air his head begins to spin oh my God I did it I did those murders I took a little bit of each of those prostitutes so I could live forever that's why that makes sense perfect sense it was all part of the ritual uh if we were playing a different game I'd require sanity checks for all of you right now can you just go give me a dice roll on the sanity check six six three okay yeah I feel like you little bit of Sanity uh yeah okay Jason Stam is now flying head spinning what the [ __ ] is your what what and I'm out I'm out lost control Okay who wants to take control from this point [Music] onwards this is why I picked a crazy one cuz I in order to get there well if you had when I was talking to you about your powers and uh objectives earlier this is not where I we would be yep but here we are okay great uh have a bid 3 2 1 give me a bed we've got a one we've got a two over here uh you are stood half in this grave uh surrounded by these uh Dressed Up cats uh who are all now staring up um you can see Jason Statham half in a cat costume uh flying flying up in the air god you finally rumbled me after all these years I thought I'd get away with it but it turns out you saw through my rules what are you going to do oh oh I just want to get the [ __ ] out of here to be honest um okay yeah people are taking photos how did you get out of them before how did I get out of climb through a window I climbed through I need to just go take a pit sorry everyone just going to take sorry everyone I just I've just got to take a little whizzle I'll let you I'll be back I'll let you deal with this okay sure uh well everyone is distracted by the [ __ ] nuts um insane Jason ston thing his head is spinning he begins to scream and like lights are coming out of his like eyes and now as people are photographing this uh people kind like running towards him people running away it's panic at the momently [ __ ] Absol pandemonium so I using that moment I slipped the [ __ ] out of there yeah where are you where are you going uh so I climb out of the window on the side um window down perfectly there um and then well I'm not actually that far where uh to Central Park acoss the street loss Street and sadly during that time um the gorgeous skinny celebrity Lydia passed away um she died to the hospital just no just there on the floor she's dead on where she got hit they didn't even try to be honest do you want to roll me a roll me a dice on the state of uh Lydia Ellery in this world over three she's dead cuz I are you hoping that she's dead oh I hope she's dead what oh my God please me too come on [ __ ] no no this is not a time this is just a pure just you know help you guys set up the world uh no turns out um actually she was barely clipped she just always looks a red hot man and you can see her walking happily down the street now she just slipped over cuz she's got you know those knee problems oh my God bless wasn't involved in the car crash at all so I I Louis ate her hair and teeth when she just fall over her false teeth fell out and her hair extensions uh just that's why the sales didn't work the sance did not work um and yeah you do actually see uh Lydia walking along uh the other side of the road that's really um [ __ ] my plan then what I was going to do then I was really hoping she was dead Okay unfortunately she fine she's right there though she's right there she is right there I can't really kill her though cuz that's going to create a whole host of issues um all right I guess I'm just going to uh last ditch effort to try and uh get myself a tasty five grand chip um I'll do it for you tax you what is wrong with you leave me alone um taxi oh God it's going to be that same [ __ ] taxi driver uh no way I Jimmy hey oh there you are it's me Jimmy uh hey what a what about that cocktail you promise I've been in there for over an hour oh sorry Jimmy I had a little and I've still got my 400 bucks oh yeah my C is literally right here you want to go somewhere it's all mangled oh Jimmy sorry it'll it'll you know you can bump it out or whatever oh I'm sorry j I had a little bit of gastric distress back there sorry about the I know how you feel Jimmy shits up a store Jimmy Darling would you please drop me off at the nearest cemetery please oh there's probably one real real [ __ ] close oh yeah oh absolutely tell me where's the nearest church uh the nearest cemetery is New York Cemetery the New York Central Cemetery it is real close they probably have those somewhere in the middle oh yeah uh yeah uh yeah that's going to be 20 bucks well that's bloody you great cuz I've always got at least $20 on me so 20 bucks great okay you go around the corner it's literally a minute a minute away God that's useful isn't it could have done my thing a lot earlier right and uh there is a lovely Cemetery um real real spooky there Graves uh it's a little bit overgrown but in like a kind of maintained way like they've gone for this real aesthetic to and they probably do some filming here and stuff like that but it's very nice looking is there a funeral happening at that time M that definitely sounds like some kind of luck roll uh come on if you roll High real good if you roll low very bad four medium four that's better than medium there's uh you know uh you can see people sort of setting up some tables mhm uh a guys finishing digging out a grave and uh it's probably about 4:00 right now um and there's a a sign saying uh Boom the big funeral at 4 4:15 funeral the musical funeral the musical uh yeah um they're doing a a funeral but it's not it's not happening yet but people are definitely setting up and you will have a funeral but oh it just isn't isn't here right now uh okay well can I go and waste some time by mingling with the guests uh yeah um you can waste some time but if we waste a little bit of time I lose power you're going to lose you're going to lose control [ __ ] well I guess I'm a little bit good then aren't I well if you want to just sit down on the bench and have a little sleep um maybe that'll be a good time for us to take a real life break as John has a little break uh stay tuned and you can see the interesting conclusion usion of everyone is John we rejoin our players uh sat on a bench in the showtime graveyard uh I think is what it was called maybe it's Saint Showtime Saint Showtime sa Showtime sa uh it's the Barbara Windsor Memorial graveyard and uh you have just had a short a short rest which gives each of you one will PowerPoint uh back so generous Tom uh thank you and uh we can now begin the bidding the time is about quarter past 4 and uh I'm not allowed am I you're not allowed sadly uh 3 2 one bid Tommy B that's three from Tommy B so you're sat in this kind of slightly overgrown graveyard and you can see like a a group of uh pool bearers beginning to carry a coffin out of a hearse which has just pulled up there's people stood around uh weeping uh very sad um Danny Dy is there um really Mom uh real he's at the funeral yeah in the because it's in his mom's graveyard he oh it wasn't actually Danny D at the show this is the Danny D he had have the day off to go to the funeral Jason yeah I feel like this is all really easy to follow sised you all right there he just having a little spit really no just a little fine Tom just didn't do a spit take no so yeah you're there and a bunch of showers showers folks are here at this funeral yeah um but yeah you'll just sat off to one side kind of just you just came to had a little doze off um all right well I think it's t my time to shine I think I need to um cheer these folks up and um at a funeral that's what people do want I'm uh GNA start contorting flipping about right in front of the in front of the funeral wanting wanting a round of applause wanting to wanting to get the get the talk Simon's face has put me on oh I love this okay so what are you doing seem in quite bad to yeah some respect Tom so you're trying to impress these people with your skills Showbiz skills it's it's a Showbiz funeral at the at the show time yeah the sa Showtime Cemetery buing funeral feel I I yeah no well roll me that Dice and then uh you can take the wheel um three okay yeah you so you're what skill you using your contortionist contortionist skill right you tell me how this pans out oh God okay so um it starts with a little tap dance down the down the street I um oh nice off of the tops of Graves and things like that tops of graves I'm calling people's attention to me and then um I have the attention bunch of grieving people sobbing they used this is used to it it's the you know funeral musical yeah yeah it's funeral the musical funeral the musical is this an actual funeral or is this a music real funeral D mother already she's already dead roll me a dice to see how famous this person is okay oh oh my God Queen oh the queen is being buried in New York City who no who is the most famous celebrity in New York famous New York who is a famous New Yorker King Kong does he count as a New Yorker yeah okay great right sure nice okay we already have a [ __ ] flying Jason so I think Island but he ended up he died in New York you know cool right it is actually the actor uh King Kong the giant ape himself is now very old and he passed away beautifully in his sleep and oh my god there are thousands of people have turned up and uh the when I said there was a load of Paul bearers carrying the coffin I mean hundreds hundreds okay the the hearse was enormous so they didn't use effects to make him look bigger he was just no they did use some effects but I'd say this uh coffin is easily 50 ft long it's still it's still a big this is still a big but big but not that white just very thin well he lost weight as he got older cuz so it's the width of a normal cofin 50 ft long did they chop him up to F no it's a it's a big coffin it's a big real big coffin real Big Ape they are burying PN perh carrying um the chains that King Kong was used to be held down with when uh when he was displayed in New York is that uh perhaps a thing bad taste again roll me roll me a roll me a dice on give me some kind of luck luck roll on that okay my God off to one side there is the uh King Kong Memorial memorabilia exhibit uh there are the chains that held King Kong uh there there's a you know a big banana there's like the dress of the actress that he held there's a bip plane uh like this whole cemetery is fully Decked Out they've set up a pavilion um because there are so many people coming to this funeral okay um and yeah every bit of King Kong merch you can imagine is in there uh there's there's one guy digging the hole you said well no they wereing finishing but it was actually the foreman cuz the is so deep you didn't get close enough there was teams of hundreds digging the hole all volunteers because he was so well loved in and there was space in this Cemetery in New York City they moved all of the Lesser celebrities to slightly further out uh grave graveyards not like a big pile or anything no no uh uh no there's a truck nearby where they've they're just carting the cool cool great so back in the room you are now dancing on uh and now now I've got everyone's attention I I I'd like to uh I'd like to say ladies and gentlemen this show is funeral I think it's time for us to have a little show and I will be today escaping from King Kong's coffin why okay you kind of had the crows there uh uh well this seems very bad taste a string string of things this sounds like bad taste says Godzilla who's attended as well uh they were actually very close off camera they know they were best friends you know they pretend they really play it up for the movies but uh well because they both dated Mothra for a while didn't they that's true yeah Mothra is flying above as well skywriting love you yeah yeah um love all of that and uh your character is essentially job from Arrested Development yes yeah that is great that is perfect you are uh yeah they don't seem super super impress you're going to have to convince them because they're like Fast talk I'm going to fast talk the whole crowds the show is after the funeral I do like uh what's it called like um what's that musical the like monal from The Simpsons I like I I do a I do a song to like convince the crowd that it's a good idea you know great uh if break cof break cofin prank cofin SK cofin skap cofin SK okay roll me that dice see if you can convince these people nice okay well very soon everyone is clicking their fingers and saying coughin Escape C Escape C Escape cough Escape cough Escape C Escape yeah okay great okay I so they convinced people are now want to see a coffin Escape yeah this is a big coffin and it is kind of sealed shut at the moment uh okay uh bring up the bring up the spare the spare coffins the the spare one that's lying around the spare coffin that you often have in a funeral just lying around or something you know one that's lying off to the side practice one yeah the practice cofin practice coffin if I can't get in the King Kong coffin if there's roll me a dice for a luck okay sure yeah where there's that truck full of the bodies of the people they've just relocated they have packed down the rehearsal funeral because this was such a big event and yes there is a giant rehearsal coffin that they practice lowering in to the hole beforehand I feel this makes total sense it's like an inflatable is inflable is it empty or is there anything inside the rehearsal coffin there is a big fake King Kong inside King Kong very Tastefully done a big inflatable King Kong is inside that coffin ladies and gentlemen taking the chains please wrap me inside I will get inside the coffin please seal me in okay and they they put chains around the coffin right so you did manage to convince these people they are singing a song and they are loving this uh teams of workmen they have giant sort of uh you know like those rail railroad spikes uh to nail the coffin shot you're in this huge cavernous coffin with this big inflatable King Kong yeah they've nailed it shut they have wrapped it in his chains mhm there any holes in this coffin or is it just like no you don't need to breathe yeah so it's completely airtight with no holes or gaps completely airtight uh and then they lower it into the hole into the hole they've done oh I'm being loaded in now well I thought you were doing a big uh cof this fcking die I can't wait to see this going be great they yeah the the dump trucks they bring the diggers in they begin to come along and fill in the hole I guess the can can girls they come out and they're dancing around ERS as they all fill in this hole you can hear the muffled sound of dirt falling onto the top of this coffin as it slow gets more and more muffled you now realize that you are buried on the ground in a giant king kong siiz coffin with an inflatable King Kong and is wrapped in Chains so at least I can walk around and never think [Music] 50 there probably die of dehydration I think that's what magicians do when yeah they work out change up and then come up with the I do um is there a way that I could um inflate the King Kong to the point where it pops the top off humanly do you think you could like you know if you had some kind of amazing inflating device sure but I'm buried alive guys um H you got yourself into I know I did I know I did I know you think was going to happen I don't know I was expecting a little like I could um I don't know what I was expecting actually I just sort of did it um fast talk all right I call up through the coffin um guys I might have misjudged the trick um as they're digging I'm like can you can you put pause on the trick maybe they're like this is so I try fast talk my way I'm like this just just guys just yeah please just hold the diers one second please okay roll me that fast talk roll you better pass this one okay you hear up above soone like oh wait wait a second wait a second you're right out there mate um there's just a slight magician's problem in here um do you mind just just um opening the lid just to crack um it it's just part of the trick well we're already half covered in dir just to help a little bit just lift the cofin not even just if just the end or something just just lift the top up lift the coffin just a little air gap if that's right there's a there's a bit of stamping around and you hear people walking on top of this uh this big wooden box and then you see the like this crack of light yeah and uh the face of someone peering in it's it's Danny [ __ ] die you're right there mate you had a bit of a problem with your Escape Danny yeah it's the don't don't make a big deal out of it Danny if that's all right I'm a big fan of your work I we we've got thousands of people watching this right now yeah how big's the crack like a foot with my contortionist body I um squeeze out okay I use I I I compress I breathe in like like a like a Cav right okay yeah okay can I use my contortion to squeeze out going have to roll for it AR you you can roll your contortion thing I feel like they that you might just be able to squeeze out without needing to contort but okay okay you squeeze out of the Gap and I'm out mm and I have successfully escaped the locked coffin ladies and gentlemen Tada T yeah you hear from the back somewhere uh someone shouting kill that man do I get a chip though did you escape from a if you were locked in a cof I I guess it depends on definition of Escape it feels like you had some help from Danny D feel like Danny D did quite a lot of this sitation okay fine I think he might have escaped you out of that I thought that might have been a loophole that I could get through and I don't think you are getting a no fair enough but you are still in control right now and the crowd is mad Danny we have to put on a show to win the crowd back uh what do you mean me uh what do you mean we I don't think this is uh I don't think this is a me problem at all Danny [ __ ] di I'm going to convince Danny to join me in a rendition of his showstopping number from cats to win the crowd back rolling that dice three all right I've had hard times in front of an audience as well one time I slipped over while performing my big number in cats that's why they replaced me with Jason [ __ ] Sten Danny I'm so sorry to hear that I'll help you redeem yourself I see you as a kindred spirit I appreciate that Danny let's do this I want two three and so then they begin to sing what's the name of this number uh uh the the trashman Waltz The Trashman Walts love that that that was one of the the main songs in cats 2 Judgment Day okay yeah you 100% you begin to sing uh sing this song Together How does it go remind me in the alley there's trash in the streets there's trash who can help the trashman comes it's not a TR it's very emotional beautiful wow you've really turned the crowd around with this oh beautiful I might need some kind of performance check because this this crowd is uh I don't okay can I okay I guess I've already done my action I can't no you tell me tell me how you want to interpret it is there a bike round was there a bike there was probably a bike and if I can do my performance on a bike can I roll it with my um expert cyclist skill what the [ __ ] had that the whole time uh R me I see how lucky you are if there is a bike someone might have biked here uh there's uh I'll just roll performance yeah yeah perform perform for me I need to see a something good a one that's a one okay you have this Vis like Visage about uh you know how you think this is going but just like your your song your part is great but just at the the high note uh when the the trash man cometh D he [ __ ] die he slips over again oh no and then the crowd just turns on you guys they're booing they're shouting you've ruined this funeral King Kong's funeral uh absolutely absolute train wreck uh the mayor of London is there of London they go there the mayor of New York to all of the Mayors every mayor from around the world all of them have appeared uh so so mad uh and we are going to be joining someone else three two one bid for me uh that's two from Lewis okay your stood Danny D face down in the mud thousands of people booing at you right now including Godzilla and Mothra I take a bow thank you enhances the boo thank you a thousand F okay I just vomit on Danny [Laughter] Dyer just on demand God you just wret one sorry I can I got D wa I think it's a hairball I think I got a hairball yeah yeah okay they uh you try to vomit on Danny D and it doesn't it doesn't work it is not going well um I someone else want to try and take control of this uh this scene because Danny he gets up and he runs off uh just weeping but in like a like a like a manly way but he [ __ ] himself I know uh and 3 2 one what have you got oh want it back you get it back the crowd is mad you see Danny D just taking off into the distance um and now Angry celebrities of every level advancing on you I um run to the bip plane in the King Kong Museum exhibit yeah it's there and I get in and I well I start the mot is it uh is it is it I I start the motor and I I start driving it down the the main strip of the is it a real B plane or is it just a prop you roll that [ __ ] should I roll if it's real or Simon going to roll you can roll a what it is a it's one it is a cardboard cutout on a b plane but it does have wheels wheels on it all right and like a string system which is attached to a crane uh like up in the New York skyline it's attached to a crane yeah yeah yeah cuz that's how they uh originally shot it and the controls and the controls are inside the B plane so I can raise the B plane up on the crane 100% they are so I get in the B plane realizing it's not real and I immediately uh lift the plane into the air as the mob descends on me yeah the crowd is absolutely charging in Martin scores he's there Robert all these New York celebrities yeah yeah um I'm pretty sure yeah SC sayy he throws a bottle at you and uh yeah you begin to raise into the air in your two-dimensional plane yeah uh yeah you are going just up and up and up I'm going I want to go up as high as I can Godzilla is trying to swat at you you're kind of just uh just too high and it's called wearing like a black suit of course it's a funeral Obviously good morning and yeah you now up up high in the air I how can I get onto the top of the crane can I get up onto the the the crane oh yeah if you keep going up yeah sure you can be on top of a crane this crane is coming out of the side of the Empire State Building oh my God it was originally built on there to film this scene and they just kind of keyed it out in the 30s or whenever that movie was made yeah okay um you're now on top of a crane hanging out the side of the Empire State Building which is right next to all of these other places is Moth okay crying MO is weeping moora is sat off to one side balling their eyes out um as they did uh formerly date King Kong and sad uh you have ruined their funeral and so it's actually really really upset that is bad I'm going to escape into the Empire State Building as best I can along the crane right yeah you start running running along the uh the crane and yeah you're at the very very peak of the Empire State Building okay um okay okay you can see like the crowds of people swarming and like charging into the base of the Empire State Building like they they're out for blood I am King Kong now I am like start beating my I'm at the top of the Empire State Building while I'm being swarmed okay yeah uh there's uh police helicopters now news helicopters who are they're flying around you as you make this Escape onto the top of the Empire State Building uh you are a wanted person for this was televised to oh my millions of people so I'm on top of the Empire T can I get into the Empire State Building I need get oh yeah yeah yeah yeah I need to get in and I'm going to I'm just going to try and get down in the lift I need to go down in the lift like yeah uh yeah you can jump into uh those lifts you can call um super easy press the button can I go down to the basement level that would take a long time the car part level would it that might take a long time is that going to take over 5 minutes they have Express lifs tall building though isn't it it is tall um if someone else old building very old very slow yeah I would have thought the lifts were like super fast lifts right you're not going to spend five minutes go has anyone been up the ire State Building no uh no so roll me a dice and that will determine how fast these lifts are two pretty slow I think you're going be losing control here um but that will give each of you a point to be able to spend okay as you did something boring there you go have a thing thank you Tom uh who would like you beard for control in this red hot mess three two one reveal none of us want to go okay do it again last attempt uh three two one nothing from Lou okay so the two of you now uh okay people very concerned about what is going on can we rock paper scissors yeah rock paper scissors for it all right how do we how do we do that when we like uh just three two one reveal and on go so 3 two 1 go blammo okay Lydia you have taken control uh did you have a chip it's going to cost you a chip to spend yeah I'm still going to make you spend one fair enough you uh come to the elevator doors Ding and it looks like you are in the basement of the Empire State Building right right there's like janitor's closets and a toilet down here there a car park I was thinking car there's a car park there's a big car park down here full of fancy cars and okay I am going okay I got to break into one of these cars yeah okay I got to break into one of these cars what I I got to roll I guess to do that yeah roll me some kind of break into a car dice do you have some kind of break into a car ability I do not know okay so this is going to be harder work unless Master of Disguise make a screwdriver he could just grab some vodc orange juice four four sadly you do not oh I need a six you need a six [ __ ] I thought I pass we are in just a red hot mess um uh 3 two one reveal oh you had two two as well so okay between you two should we uh rock paper scissors yeah yeah I think just go go for that okay three two one scissors what the [ __ ] is that that was thumbs up scissors that thumbs up thumbs up isn't a thing I should just win cuz you you did said scissors rock my brain what [ __ ] I didn't want to go okay you have uh come to yeah uh you're stood in this car park you can see the uh shutters begin to open in the distance that will kind go up to street level great and up there uh you hear the beeping beeping of a car beep beep beep um hey Jimmy looks like you need a way out of here I saw your show it was amazing you still want to go and get that screwdriver come get in I'll take you wherever you need to be that sounds for 20 bucks ah um don't have my wallet on me just get in okay you can pay me back you're trying to Savage It Isn't So Much a taxi as a railroad but I'm getting aboard that train cool you oh yeah where do you need to go looks like the all that crowd's pretty mad right now uh I would really like to go take me to like a place where the mob hang out the in New York City the old mafiosos OHS next door uh actually I am in the mob really that's right I'm their cab guy the getaway driver you know I really good at driving okay okay wait you're a getaway driver for like bank robberies and that kind of thing oh 100% bank robberies a bad murder okay uh I'm going to force truth oh [ __ ] I forgot yeah yeah [ __ ] right whoa wait a minute you wouldn't happen to be DB Cooper would you the the famous guy that tickled that money and jumped out of a plane and has gone missing he wouldn't happen to be you can definitely Force the truth out of him that's yeah yeah three it's a success does this mean that you can dictate what reality of the truth is I think so but I am using it sparingly okay so whoa you got me it's me after all these years although actually I'm just compelling to tell the truth not that he is DB Cooper I thought you asked him that yeah but he could say no and that could be the truth he have to just tell the TR it's up to you whether actually it was me this whole time Cooper that's crazy you caught me he begins to fly into the air his head to oh my God you've rumbled our Immortal Brotherhood oh my God uh you hear Jason Stam screaming as he flies in the streets around outside Cooper shoots up through the Empire State Building it is absolute carage but you have I guess successfully rumbled another criminal but we knew it was do go who did it all along how that Myst but you knew that I but well done Jimmy you earned it was the actually DB Cooper this whole time yeah holy [ __ ] laying low undercover saying that you like you put that in the story right at the start for one of us to find it out every part of this forhow did you notice the clues the amount of notes that I have to set it up the back story for you to be able to go everywhere uh all of this um it took me months months and months of writing it really did r on L they climbing out of toilet Windows M time all of the all of this went on so we are definitely in our closing stages of this game does anyone have chips left that they want to be using uh it is time too big uh three two one bed I got two two uh you two just you can rock paper sciss actually no wait I want you to win okay just throw it then just just go three two one rock legal move nice thank uh leou you win you are now on the streets uh there are Sirens there are people screaming and running everywhere uh you can see the the eldrich IM mortal beings of Jimmy the taxi cab driver DB Cooper and Jason Stam uh they are flying in the sky heads spinning lasers firing out half the city is on fire what are you doing I'd like to vomit on demand pleas right okay of course the natural response I fa oh my God not hydrated I don't think I've eaten anything all day since I P well you've not eaten anything since the last vomit you try and vomit this is tragic and uh you do not uh who wants to do a bid as you fail to vomit anywhere uh 3 two 1 reveal for me please that's the one from all of you three-way um rock paper Sy yeah yeah just do that how the [ __ ] well we'll work it out okay sure uh 3 2 1 go okay paper beats Rock that doesn't win I had to try and make it easier someone had to throw it otherwi it' be so [ __ ] weird okay uh you oh your stomach hurts you're trying to wret but oh it's so empty you don't have any hair or teeth there anymore um and yeah you can see the terrifying uh Jason sa and Jimmy the cab driver um they're flying around they are now destroying New York City Godzilla is trying to fight Godzilla's really old now MO was kind of having to go uh the police helicopters crying a lot um is there a cyclist I want to steal a steal a bike sure you know what right now people are fleeing there is a cyclist they are like a corer they're hopping onto the curb weaving between traffic um coming right right next to you and with my so I Comm and dear the bike and with my expert cycling I want to cycle through the rubble cascading around me the people over cars around things okay yeah okay you have successfully evaded Rubble the top Empire uh State Building has been lifted up by Cosmic being Jason Stam and like cast down into the street exploded uh you dodg past that on your bike the head of the Statue of Liberty crunches through the roads uh what are you doing I'm just a human man right I'm just a normal man you're just just a normal man fight I can't I can't fight any eldrich beings I can't do anything I find the nearest police officer and I say arrest me okay there's a policeman hello hello hello how you doing what I'm a policeman in New York I'm an actor uh very good very good very good I'm from Broadway uh we're here baby trained classically trained actor uh from the Bristol Old Vic wow very close to us cor uh it's not super relevant uh this is all my fault Take Me Away lock me up in your squad car I'm a criminal put me away uh okay I feel like um if you can fast talk this and you say tell me what happens then you can 100% admit to these crimes two you can spend all right I'll spend my last token to up it to three so you're the you're the one who ruined King Kong's funeral it's true well you're Nick mate and he boom puts you in handcuffs and drags you drags you to his the police wagon I'm I'm locked in the back of a police car they he locks you in the back he's on the radio all right we we've got him everybody we've got the the bad one he ruined the funeral the most hated man on Earth right now apart from maybe Jim me the cab driver Jason Stan MH but they're just monsters terrible monsters okay at this at this point I I all right we really he also killed Mr mopes tried to hi his body he also killed Mr mopes he smashed Barbara Windsor's n oh that's disgusting who ruins the Press performance ofat Judgment Day cats 2 Judgment Day it was going to reinvigorate this town it was going to be the biggest thing ever and he broke the Priceless 2D B plane as he took it to up and he jammed the winch okay we hate this scumbag we're going to bury him he's distracted he's distracted on the phone right oh yeah definitely yeah on the on the police phone radio Poli pH police phone that's right I I I need to like pick the lock of the police car I need to like Jimmy the lock or something the door yeah you're in handcuffs as well you are in handcuffs behind me yeah definitely behind you uh but my contortionist fingers are able to get there right oh sure yeah if you want to if you want to contort your way out of those handcuffs yeah yeah yeah so I contort my way out the handcuffs so I roll for that oh okay five the Handcuff yeah he's still on the phone he's like yeah he's he's the wrong and we hate him he's the worst and I get out I need to like get the police door open yeah yeah you're super locked in the back can I can can I can I can I you me it can I get out you have to do some kind of up crack this is it I I I don't have a special Escape skill as an escape there is like a thin Grill between you and the front of the police car right yeah I guess sure yeah yeah yeah he's sat there on the police phone talking to the king of police the king of the police and oh could can I kick the window through sure yeah I need some kind of strength roll or something uh do you have any kind of rad ability my Psy expert cyclist thick thighs oh from being really good at cycling very strong legs will he let it f sure I will let you with your strong leg it's going to happen but it's not going to be it's not going to be clean you kick out the side window but the the uh the policeman instantly alerted well bloody hell what's going on back there uh taada I escaped sir from your clutches uh you're still in the back of the car oh no I I jump out with oh oh sure yeah I jump out and then say that I dive through the window yeah he's only G to made a bloody Escape he hangs up the phone quick sure you escaped a thing I guess that kind of looks um is anyone going to take control of this do your bidding three 2 1 make a bed we've got a two we've got some ones night is beginning to fall the city is illuminated by fires there's blaring sirens and you're stood as this old theater cop is pointing a gun at you you get back in that car I'm taking you in you're the worst human being who's ever lived I'm got to vomit in his face critical success vomit great tell tell me tell me how this plans out tell me what what goes on so my Bell's been rumbling the whole day right like I know I puked earlier but that was like that was on demand okay right this is just all the stuff I had for breakfast right you know it's been building up those I at like four hot dogs those New York ones from the sidewalk you know okay SLA in mustard they covered in like um Pastrami and um that SS nice whatever them the gab schol and okay nice great really really elaborate kind of meaty hot dogs like modern you know short okay hot dogs and it all comes out in a kind of like a demonic tube of vomit okay you fire a meat tube out of your mouth at him yeah and it and then what happens how he just he just Falls splashes splashes to the ground oh my God yeah he falls um it cracks himself it twists his neck and he's dead Jesus Christ opposite down opposite down oh my God yeah I guess yeah he this vet Falls uh like sprays into his face he takes a step back uh slips in some of it and uh yeah Falls and catches his neck right on like of the door frame and there's just a crack and he is just down on the ground you have kill this guy with your vomit Powers perfect done um I step over him I I straddle him I take his head in my hands right okay and I compel the spirits I compel his dead Spirit to speak with me one last time before he passes on before he passes before he goes too far through the to okay sure yeah freshly fresh he's a bit confused he's even just reached he won't really know where he is right okay so yeah roll me a dice with your medium skill that's you hold this guy with your big strong hands he is definitely dead uh right the closing sort of scene or two who would like to take control of this red hot mess do you think you can get a point more points in anym a two one two versus one okay uh you stood it is absolute Carnage in the streets uh a lot of the city is on fire yeah you're holding this guy no one is paying attention to you right now because New York is currently being absolutely apocalyptically destroyed all the uh cyborg cats are barreling out of the uh theater nearby they're running around some of them are on fire um so everyone knows that New York has a uh huge uh population of what's the religion where they need to be buried really quickly oh uh speed barriers the old speed barriers speed barriers yeah the speed speed barrial you need to get right up there to Jesus yeah if you don't if you don't bury straight away then you ain't never going to heav yeah yeah yeah yeah you got to go while you're still warm like 2 hours from Death to ground oh those serious speed barriers is like 60 seconds like if you're not under there good Lord okay you're living in purgatory forever that [ __ ] sucks yeah um so when I come to and there's a dead man covered in vit in front of me yeah he's covered in vment wow okay uh I look over cuz I'm just I'm still next to Central Park right oh it's so close literally feet away I'm literally across the [ __ ] road from it so I I ran over there um and um finally enough this is the area of New York right where the speed barriers live is that where this is isn't that that neighborhood roll me that dice come on please see how lucky you are got nothing left wait do I have to get a five no no I just need to see the higher the better four you know what yeah yeah yeah you're real close to the bit of Central Park where the speed burials have cuz they do it here and then uh you know they move them somewhere else well no they don't usually do it but obviously now there's apocalyptic situation they just desperately burying people okay sure people are Panic burying the speed barriers I see some people are like looting shops other people are burying their loved ones yeah very very quickly burying them a lot of people have died during this yeah oh my God so many people yeah yeah Jason Stan and Jimmy the cab driver are just causing absolute want destruction all right it is it is Hell on Earth right now okay so the scene is set right okay so I guess I BL stumble over there okay run into the Central Park keep running stumble along and then there's a bunch of very sad people burying they're just absolutely heartbroken uncle Todd uh uncle Todd he's getting buried oh he so big on the stage Lov old Toddy and and then I just run in there whip off my clothes okay you're going to streak and say hello everybody it's me on uh okay wow uh you know what yeah it well it's a leap but you're now naked and you have ruined the speed burial funerals that are definitely going on and are definitely happening this all makes a ton of logical sense you can have one of your uh coins does anyone have any chips left because you are welcome to try and spend it sure why not okay you're final final Final turn what is what is going on here been they've been digging up a lot of this ground oh there's dozens of people around dozens of holes uh and everyone is looking at you a gust I just want soing some of these empty Graves that they've freshly dug just to see if there are some old human remains that might already be there that they've uncovered right okay so I'm going to use my spot hidden okay you saw see that come on now come on come on we need a good need a good role come on for Daddy for Daddy okay right you look around for these remains um and you you're really trying to find find some sign of a crime some something some kind of murder that you can solve and your attention is so on the ground that you do not notice Jason Stam fly up behind oh he slowly hovers down towards the ground you [ __ ] outed me as Jack the Ripper you're going to pay now John quick as a flash there's a snap your neck is broken the game is over and that's the end of everyone is John thank you so much uh you all did very very well did we it's not at all where I thought that game was going to be going uh did you have fun yeah I did Wild it was very fun well that's the most important thing that people had fun I hope everyone at home enjoyed themselves uh everyone is John it can really go in a lot of different directions we played this a couple of times and never ended up quite like this no oh what was everyone's Obsession oh so yeah we can go around now if uh you would like to reveal so Lis you have one Victory point I needed to speak to a dead celebrity and you successfully did speak to a dead celebrity does it matter that was hard or Barbara Windsor so I think that is like a harder one to do so it would be worth more points uh you know I'm glad I'm glad it was it there a big one though proper list specific and was real real good real lucky happy with that and uh Simon how many times did you solve your mystery what your obsession my my obsession was to solve a famous Cold Case such as Jack the Ripper or DB Cooper oh wow and those were the two I went for that's a um I feel like you had very useful skills for 100% yeah truth compelling people to tell the truth that was kind of [ __ ] it was pretty good um kind of [ __ ] but you know you unearth some kind of weird uh Immortal cult thing as well going on God I can't believe that you managed to out Jimmy uh from the very beginning thought he was safe he yeah you guys thought that he was there to help you I was on to you I knew that just straight it was the a bit of the accent that I did you could tell shadowing yeah why the [ __ ] did Jimmy need my 400 quid if he's already minted from all the money he stole well that was a long time ago well it's it he has to do that he has to keep up the front he has to throw people off if he's like oh I'm a c the cocktails that should have given it away cuz he was a classy guy oh God that's so clever you really thought this all through holy [ __ ] I can't like well eventually Simon ped picked up on my like the breadcrumb trail uh but yeah you know I managed to bamboozle the rest so Lydia what was your mine was to Gate Crash a funeral but then I thought [ __ ] it up a bit and I actually thought at a funeral as it started going on because great way to you know why not bring a bit of spice to a funeral the cats music had a funeral on stage is that what it was that's what I was get yeah we're kind of crowbar that one in as a it was actually real funeral though it was does does it say it has to be a real life funeral does it it does not say a real life F it's kind of hard to when you're doing the paper says Gate Crash you got the you got the stage one the Godzilla one and the I didn't actually get that was so the King Kong funeral I couldn't [ __ ] game Crash you guys up you guys all got mine already ruined it ruined it so I didn't get to came too and then I was going to try and go to my own funeral but then I was fine wandering around with my teeth gone in my hair she RI down that's why you wanted Lydia to be dead that's why I wanted meet her I wanted to speak to a dead celebrity cuz we can do it in the same room oh we were similar we were both chasing dead people basically funnily enough last of all Tom mine was to escape a locked cage um but I realized I had contortionism that would help me get in the cage but nothing to help me get out um so I realized as we started that I'd kind of [ __ ] myself with uh getting out but you might to do it a couple of times got two times maybe you should have had like picklock Rob expert pych I panicked when Tom said there's a third one I was like oh God okay picklock would have been smart very much enjoyed expert cyclist just a great I used M cyclist th to uh to escape you did that's true yeah you know if people can make a good enough case I'll it use a skill for basically anything that's good of you Tom I guess that's it yeah [ __ ] off Jesus Christ Jesus bye thank you very much goodbye everybody wow uh there was the madness that is everyone is John I really hope that you guys enjoyed watching that as uh yeah it was pretty wild to make um if you want to help support us make more stuff like this in the future uh please consider becoming a member um if not uh leave us a comment leave a review tell a friend um all of that kind of thing helps uh helps us to keep making this stuff and you know I enjoy reading all of your all of your thoughts uh stay tuned because next week we'll be doing something completely different with a brand new cast until next time everybody goodbye

Channel: Mystery Quest

Views: 161,964

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Id: URahJkSqQAs

Length: 129min 20sec (7760 seconds)

Published: Sat Oct 21 2023