Honey Heist #1

[Music] you skip down the forest path basket full of baked goodies still warm from the oven you make it to the quaint cottage door and you give it a little knock there's no answer H you step inside oh there's Grandma sat in bed just waiting for some of your your treats to gobble up Grandma's looking a little bit hairier than normal she doesn't normally make those noises did she always have teeth that big something just doesn't seem right about this at all wait a second that's not grandma that's a wolf and he's lunging right at you you drop into a low Crouch drawing your switchblade from your basket the Beast crashes towards you and throw your knife is your aim true or are you on a mystery [Music] quest and welcome everybody uh this week we are playing a game called honey Heist it is a one-page rule set where our group of adventurers are all going to be playing as Bears this was a special live recording that we did for the jingle jam 2023 charity event I hope you enjoy welcome to the uh jingle jam 2023 uh session of mystery quest um where we are going to be playing honey Quest honey Heist honey Heist it's legally distinct honey Quest I've stolen it from Grant Howard uh no we are playing honey Heist uh where all of our players are going to be playing as Bears pulling off the ultimate heist where they have to try and steal honey uh these guys have never played it before and so they have no idea what they are doing and so if we get some rules wrong it's not the end of the world but we will do our best um but first we have to actually go around and make our characters to am I right we have the ever enigmatic ravs handsome beautiful funny amazing and sat next to him uh just amazing in all the same ways as him it's Lydia what the [ __ ] is that I get hands so handsome a lot of people take that as a compliment [ __ ] lazy Tom uh and then to my left uh is the alsoo beautiful and lovely pan Flex oh I you and it's everyone's favorite diggy diggy Hall man it's the diggy diggy hallan Simon L how are you all doing be good fantastic uh so we're going to make our characters um but in turn I do not even know what the heist is that we are going to be doing um I have no no planning done um this is the best kind of game uh how do we generate your Heist so well uh if you would like to roll someone roll a dice for me the convention organizer is maybe too obsessed with honey uh three honey con uh which you are robbing is in a rundown oh should WR this down honey Conn two that sounds like my a convention for me a rundown fishing Village but Bears also love fish oh my god do love fish uh okay A rundown fishing Village this is instantly going to be very where's that is it padto is that where Rick Stein he's got a little fishing isn't run down it's very it's nice cuz it's got Rick Stein's restaurant it's very touristy we need to go somewhere like Lou Lou is a little more rundown no Lou uh down towards um well it's round that kind of neck of the woods it's a I think it's either I think it's Cornwall oh cornall cor Brighton is yeah of course Brighton yeah next to Cornwall isn't it s okay are you down with a rundown fishing Village yeah that sounds good to me and the organizes a bit too obsessed with honey a bit too obsessed what does that mean ex you got you got to have a passion for honey if you're running honey bit too obsess a bit too obsessed okay well we're going to work out how that all comes together I need to start thinking about this a little hint some and at Honey con aside from just loads of Honey the main prize is roll me a dice three three the queen of all bees once exiled now returned is uh there at honeycom in this rundown fishing Village okay I'm trying to like piece this together beon beonce beonce oh yeah oh I love that Queen of the bees is actually guest appearing at honeycom this year they said that she would never do it but she's gone to a rundown fishing it's her comeback tour they're traveling around you know they're doing a little bit of coming straight from Madison Square Gardens to here yeah I love it uh and there are two security features that you are going to be have to overcome do people roll me a dice a four a four I want to do it you can do the next one one uh there's armed guards and a CCTV Network that makes sense it's beyon I mean but there's one bit that you do not know about and oo I assume you're keeping that one secret that one is a secret but anyone at home I've rolled a four so yes if you have the rules yourself then uh you will know what that is a uh so right let's go around and make your you all some bears I probably should be taking some notes as well so I sorry I already rolled because I thought everybody else was doing the same thing so I was rolling wait so right what have you rolled I rolled that I am an incompetent polar bear whose the designated role is the hacker you're an incompetent hacker wow that's going to be really useful have this seat oh excellent right you are pretending to be a human uh you're a bear but in a world of humans okay so now uh you need to roll how you're dressing up as a human because human clothes okay will definitely fool them so if you I reach into my dressing up box full of human clothes and put on a black T-shirt wow wow the pure randomness of that very exciting this is a wacky great this will look really good with my blue denim cargo pants I'm literally dressed like a hacker I've obviously Googled it human hacker so you can choose to wear an additional uh of course I do uh a beautiful blonde wig oh hello God okay so if you can total up those numbers that you rolled uh can you work that out uh yep I can that's the last 15 20 that's 20 okay and then the beautiful blonde would gives you plus two so that's 22 so that is your is that my HBS that is your HBS uh which is horrendous syndrome your human believability score oh that's Weir we may be uh rolling against later oh hello I am here to look at the CCTV Network very that's going to be our opening but of course I can't speak so it'll just come out so yeah we we'll say that you can speak and the the hum going to interpret that in how however it comes across just so we don't have to sit here for the next 3 hours and everyone's going which I feel might might get tired might be absolute Madness uh okay Lydia would you like to roll next so roll a dice to see what is your first thing I am retired you're a retired I'm a retired uh I'm a retired sunbear oh your favorite oh the one with the big long tongue yeah I think you're more retired whatever the role is maybe I don't know it's not like you stopped being a sunbear oh right yeah I sunar and what is your job if you anyone rolls the same as anyone else um we will uh roll that sorry I'm the retired brains oh you're the sunbear who is the brains of the operation so okay but I'm retired okay okay all right uh would you like to roll uh what your outfits are if you just want to like Circle or underlying whatever you've uh got okay I am wearing uh I reached into my dressing box and put on my powder blue and fril uh tuxedo jacket shirt and bow TI okay my God you're dressed like Dolly Parton okay it's like 70s prom okay great this will look good with my Tartan o hello uh smart trousers I am I am looking I don't like Tartan trousers I'm looking good kind of aren you wearing Tartan trousers right now I kind of am actually kind of are I kind of I can't Whi them out get your leg up come on give us give chat a treat they've been good [ __ ] hell she got a bad leg Yeah we are wow oh my God I came dressed as a bear I I knew why you smell that way [ __ ] hell also the retired brains part oh the retired wow so mean to LS okay I want a hat you uh roll what kind of hat are you wearing as well I am wearing a top hat and monacle what a terrible [ __ ] out awful look be that your Bears you don't understand human clothes uh okay great and uh RS if you'd like to roll next so you are a a free which is a uh retired uh if you want to roll that again we'll uh try and get something different I'm a wash up yep love that um grizzly bear perfect and what roll are you my rooll is not the hacker cuz we have that already uh the driver okay you're the washed up driver who is a grizzly bear okay uh I reached into my dressing box full of human clothes and put on my powder blue and fril I had that uh yeah well you can uh yeah roll again I sh be wearing the same clothes as again okay uh I'm wearing my very 90s tied dyed um trench coat that's cool like that that's a that's a lot going on there uh uh very tie-dyed and and I'm also wearing it it's going to look great with my uh Tartan rolling that again roll it again if you want to uh grayers okay great uh you've got a trench coat and nickers I love that and what is your uh and extra thing um I'm hoping so hard for a one oh my God got one the pink cowboy hat wow okay right there excellent there very well disguised um what about the points add up yeah so if the you can add up from the first four rolls that you made uh the numbers and then uh the last one will either give you a extra Plus or or minus eight okaying that Simon slick that's good we haven't got slick Simon slick okay oh yeah I want to be the face honey badger you're a slick honey badger you're not even a real honey slick with the blood of his enemies hacker nope driver nope Thief ooh the thief okay the Slick honey bands are Thief you're like the cool one um quickly I rolled a 15 and the cowboy has a minus one so 14 okay so people do not believe they oh no I'm 16 okay human clothes people may be a little bit sus but you'll be okay okay okay thank you uh what clothes are you wearing no beige we haven't had beige right beige okay I love that mittens well you're a thief you don't want to you don't want to leave fingerprints well do they have fingerprints probably apparently koala finger very similar to they also have chyia so similar to leopard print and your leopard print KNE length skirts oh you sexy [ __ ] okay and my hat leopard what we got badge that says be and proud minus three okay not super convincing this is terrible actually this is what this is 10 this is seven is my God that's uh you're slick but not believable not a convincing uh convincing person I've colored in the picture of what my guy looks like oh my God camera that is really good so you're all allowed to illustrate your bear imagine I'm wearing a black T-shirt cargo pants and I have a beautiful blonde wig and I put on wristwatch wow I hope that's okay okay uh right can you all help me with what uh can you give me a few bits of information about this town um this rundown fishing Village uh everyone just give me just anything you like um if it's if it's anything like Lou most of the houses are now Airbnb lets okay right there's like a few pubs the locals deeply resent tourists that come to the town but they also rely on them okay no this this is more than enough got we great tons of airbnbs it's got a very steep valley that it's in so the houses tend to be sort of up hills and and staircases and things Lou's very pretty uh Lydia give me a give me a detail about this town something uh something interesting about it um oh God it's it's always pissing it down with rain it's always [ __ ] miserable hell yeah right love that Simon if you've got want to add a little um what's like another interesting landmark in this town something ooh fascinating about it um there's a massive massive Cathedral like church like it's way bigger than you would expect a small rundown Village to have okay and uh ravs one last bit of information just something about the vibe about the uh it is a very common retiree town where a lot of old people go and make nice pies and leave them out on the window sill okay old people uh I'm into it okay right uh and what is the name of this town uh the puner the better oh God anyone got a piston piston piston can we have um you know piston B cville cille like barington barington is nicer barington Paddington barington oh my God Paddington like pad Stow Padington Paddington barington oh barington barington be regious bear regious bear there's also a be regious but it's be e so be you know too much geography of shitty places like this like locked in okay right the fantasy town of uh barington um we're going to begin our Quest and I will slowly drip feed you in I like you all properly introduce your characters I hope you have thought up an interesting backstory and elaborate where you're tied to everyone else uh a full description of what you look like exactly how you're going to handle every situation that you get involved in shuffles papers we need a name at the very least as long as you can get a name um right then it will be my name is Buttercup okay well we'll we'll get we'll get to that moment as um would you like to start in Bearington or do you want to be going there it's up to you brother okay we're starting in there yeah I think we stayed in Airbnb last night a be my God come on a bear you were the one who said before we started no no pun I know no puns alone I don't like puns but you know we're going to have to do it aren't we he was very serious was I can't I can't [ __ ] handle this I can't handle this too many FS okay we uh it's unbearable it's kind of a a real miserable peran FL sorry we begin the camera pans down across the uh the skyline of of barington the grand bear Cathedral looming ominously over the entire town uh this town is almost being swallowed in between uh in this giant valley um leading down towards the sea um there's numerous boats uh docked there a few much larger ships maybe those are related to Honey con the occasional fishing B yeah yeah there's uh the like a fog horn every now and again the fog is really rolling in already oh my God and we pan down this horrible uh dingy rainy back alley and a few old people shuffling around complaining about the tourists uh because honeycom is about to start and they don't like all these young people turning up all these young people going to see honey oh going to see honey con um cuz they're not super familiar with uh Beyonce Queen of the bees who is performing um at the Cathedral over the time they think that's a disgrace um but we we we pan across um this old bar um rets and we we slowly slowly go inside of just a few old fishermen hang out telling stories about their latest catch and we move into this Smokey back room and there is a just a large large old bear sat there and he's checking his watch he's looking looking a little bit annoyed and then a bang on the door uh which one of you wants to wants to come on in am I the old bear or am I no uh someone has assembled you all for a job well I think the Slick Thief is probably the guy who's put the crew together I'm just I mean I'm just a washed up driver what am I going to call myself what's your thing lit I'm the retired brains well I'd say whoever has got the well the brains might be behind it actually the brains is normally like the organizer like Danny Ocean or wise boy Wally is my name wise boy Wally yeah I still okay think of stall quickly stall what about Tina Tina what's wrong with the name Tina Tina Barrett Tina Barrett Tina Barett okay love that tin bar uh very very good all right uh great well um there's a bear there's a bear here already waiting who's coming through the door first Tina she's the brains Tina Barrett okay Tina Barrett uh there's this big bear he's looking a real grumpy um what kind of bear didn't we have we had a grizzly bear it's just like a panda there's no we don't have a black bear do we uh yeah it's a big black bear or or a panda yeah or a panda sorry uh yeah there's a big big black bear there and he's waiting and he's like all right Tina how's it going you're right darling long time no see Ang it's been a long time how's your stinting be prison oh it was rough it was rough around the edges but I'm re tired now honey you know I've been taking up knitting and [ __ ] like that knitting and [ __ ] all right yeah how's that doing oh pretty bad actually that's why that's why I got you here today all right for this one one last job well I'm just uh the owner of this establishment that's who you are and but I'm here to help just set you up I'll be out of your way uh real real sharpish thanks darling I've got three others coming tonight oh okay the new crew the new crew for the one last job one last job so we can really make it big and I can start my Etsy Shop doing your Etsy Shop uh so yeah you're you're robbing honeycom 2017 is when the game is it is specifically it says on the sheet honeycom 2017 I hear you all go for the big the big prize the queen bee herself oh Beyonce is going to be there Beyonce the the the what the rumor rumor around town is that you can milk her for the freshest honey ever had oh royal jelly royal jelly I yeah that's the good stuff you drink that and it turns you into a queen goodness get off your tits you do I think I think that's what royal jelly does yeah yeah I think so that's what someone told me anyway sure be stuff okay I don't really understand cuz I'm a bear as well same uh love your outfit by the way oh thanks oh is that a knock I hear at the door oh who could this be hey how's it going man okay great it's wise guy Wally here okay what does wise guy Wally look like give me a little uh descriptor uh well he's a honey badger M um I it says the the scriptor is slick I think I have slicked back hair on the top of my head wait with like a party okay slick yeah mhm love that so like a 1930 gangster yeah but I guess I'm already dressed in my leopard print kneelength skirt got my disguise here see I'm just like a human in these human clothes hey I'm here to see uh rert or I know you're rer right yeah that's right I'm I'm Rupert the bear hello there rert how you doing uh yeah I'm here to help with this job I'm not entirely sure on what my role is maybe I own this Pub probably that drinking too much he does try and drink from his uh me honey he does drink meat oh [ __ ] okay yeah I didn't even yeah this is a meat bar they only sell honey this is why you uh uh all came to choose this place it used to be where you would commit all of your crimes from oh cuz um a sun bear I can sense honey I sense it in this C you all of you can sense there is honey around here that is all that's is it all over the place there's a big bowl of it and he's just lapping it up the table I've got my long tongue as well don't I forgot I had that ho darling okay let's have another knock at the door and get some other characters in and get you all um around this table and beginning this this Heist uh all right what's going on over there someone else has come to this door I'm going to sort of fall over as I'm coming in cuz I'm incompetent oh knock something over sorry sorry I'm Winslow I was told you needed a hacker I'm not very good at it but I know how to work human computers uh wow what an amazing uh amazing skill that is for a bear oh I think I do I I hit them with my Paws and then sometimes the door opens okay that's pretty a pretty good ability what does Winslow look like I'm wearing a black T-shirt black cargo pants and a blond wig so I look like your average Metal Head who's also a coder I love I love this uh the blond wig is extra denim cargo pants no it just says oh that yeah they are blue denim cargo pants maybe yeah she even weirder odd yeah but like a human wears you know uh what was guy called what boy Wally okay Wise Wise is very important Wally great um and last of all you hear a screech outside and I drive my car into the bar you what dve through the the wall of the bar okay right you're going to have to make me a dice roll uh so to explain Straight Up dice to explain to everyone at home uh all the time whenever people are trying to roll some dice uh they have two sets of skills they are either bare skills or criminal skills um they range between one and six uh is how high or low they can can go they both start at three if you're ever trying to do something that a bear would do you were trying to roll under your bare skill if you're trying to do something a criminal would do you're trying to roll under your criminal skill I'm trying to drive a human car this is like joy riding Ram raiding yeah so a criminal just kind of covers anything that isn't be really um but if you ever succeed at tasks uh your your Criminal Mind takes over a little bit more and you'll slowly increase that stat but you'll lose your bare stat um if you do uh if you fail at stuff you get angry and you decrease your criminal stat and you increase your bare stat um if you ever max out one of those it's very very bad if one of those ever hits six then if you're a criminal you'll immediately betray the party and try to steal all of the honey for yourself okay and if you ever max out your bare stat then you will just realize you're a bear and then you will start mauling people until the animal control turns up which takes about half an hour okay uh so you're trying to balance this out you can do this by uh consuming honey will remind you that you're a bear if you're getting a bit too criminally um or you can do elaborate flashback scenes which will help you become more of a criminal MH uh so you are going to have to make me a dice roll roll the five okay so five that is not under your criminal skill mhm uh so you have failed so scrub 1. out of of criminal and slam that into bear instead okay uh so you have tried to we see you just trying to drive it was accidental I was trying to park outside and I've swerved into the door of the bar okay sweet well yeah this this back entrance that was leading into this back alley yeah uh you thought you heard a knock but actually what kind of car do you drive it's a bright pink um Corsa a cors pink corer okay well this uh bright pink corser plows through the wall uh taking out the side of this building um you're all sat around this table stood around this table with this big bowl of mead in the middle rert is holy [ __ ] you slay and sorry rer sorry oh my God okay are you also incompetent just out of interest I'm washed up oh didn't mean that hello everyone uh uh which which one are you uh butter cup your but as I as I get out of my car I'm wearing a pink cowboy hat that I've hung little buttercups from and I've got on a tiny Dy trench coat that goes down doesn't doesn't fit very well just kind of just hugs to me then I'm wearing some Necker bockers I don't even know what they are they're like big uh pantaloon B pantaloons uhhuh um yeah that's what I'm wearing okay all right well uh better late than uh never I guess uh so please gather around uh I will be expecting you to pay for my wall and or uh out of your we're going to be rich after this uh well yeah we're all we're all going to be rich after this yeah and uh we'll all be sharing in the loot um but I think you're going to owe me a little bit for my my wall okay use leg oh great okay so it's up to you the heist is on uh honey con is going to be happening all over uh the town of barington um they've got honey displays honey tasting uh best honey competition uh the the honey boat is here that's in the harbor and at some point in the cathedral probably near the climax of this story is when beonce beonce is going to be performing nice and everyone attends it dressed as a bee in the congregation that is uh yeah you saw the flyer he holds up a flyer and yes it says if you're a true Buzzy Buzzy be a true beever oh my God you earn one Tom point oh thank you you are allowed to cash in later for some reason yes any of the beevers uh attending the beonce uh concert I'm just going to write Tom point0 she Tom point the real Beyonce calls them her Bay hiive I think oh [ __ ] like be like ba just just a bit of information stop trying to get Tom points all right it's unseemly who this real Beyonce we're talking about be sorry sorry she's a literal giant be oh yeah cuz I'm thinking in my head is Beyonce is coming here to perform we is it a literal massive bee it's a giant bee have you been listening I have but you know in and out you SE what a queen bee looks like it's just like a big fat weird bee it's just a big bee there a big fat [ __ ] bee how big is beonce that's roll size larger the number the bigger she is yeah she's pretty big she's pretty big size of size of a large Pig maybe yeah four four is uh yeah pretty large Pig yeah kind of like the episode of Futurama with the big [ __ ] bees with the royal jelly yes that one oh wait are we just copying future armor no is this whole thing just have we just done that no okay and then Bender walks in hey guys I'm a robot wow that's just what he says that's what he says hey guys I'm a Rob uh okay right so uh where was I um I'm here rer rer the bear uh you guys you got to make your plan um I've heard there's a whole host of uh technological difficulties you're going to have to overcome to get through uh there's a lot of security this year at Honey con 2017 uh especially after the disaster of last year's honey con uh which we don't ever talk about but we insinuate real bad um there was a paddling pool full of honey oh God not the one uh so I'm do you want me to leave you to it and you guys can work this out from this point on yeah we'll we'll be white Dar what's the plan uh well you are making your plan um I'm going to go and talk to my Builder guy because I've got a wall to fix oh see you later you slam and he heads through the door and yeah you you four are uh left there and you need to work out how are you going to get as much honey as you can and kidnap Beyonce uh from her um spectacular performance uh later on well you're the brains of the operation Tina oh good oh F was wonderful cuz I fought up everything beforehand I've got a detailed plan ready to go for every single person around on this table oh fantastic all right you ready y yeah let's hear it here I go not stalling I'm just preparing myself I'm ready I'm all is [ __ ] all right um right let's start with Winslow hun right so you're good at computers and stuff yeah human human computers human computer how good would you say you are um not very right all right do you think you could hack us to get in cuz I I we don't actually have any tickets to get in and I think the security is kind of high oh that should be no problem yeah you can you can can hack us some fake tickets or something they've got those human cameras around as well yeah so I might have to switch them off all right switch those ones off or something like that that gets us in that's just the start though I have to get into the office where they've got all the human computers and stuff and that might be difficult all right well do you know where that is where the the office is no right that's all right cuz I've got this this plan here that has the it's the layout of all of the whole convention it's a blueprint where did you get that from uh oh it's my little secret honey My Little Secret um so I smear it out on the [Music] table right so it looks like the uh the security bit is on the left side of the hall now the good thing about that is there is a back door not that far away from it now who's the bronze of this operation uh you guys probably realized that you didn't need bronze uh you brought your hacker um you've got the thief uh your getaway driver and the brains that you know that this this job isn't you're respectable bare criminals you're not going in and doing this messy and Loud surely well if it comes to it I could drive my car into him that's true no we're pretty strong I think we're Bears I mean who's a grizzly bear because apparently they're terrifying it says in Brackets well I just drive all right all right so you're really scary apparently Buttercup so scary at driving maybe didn't didn't didn't he say something about a boat full of honey I could swim out there and get us some honey are you good at swimming love that's that's my whole thing we got we got to stay on target uh our Target is Beyonce not a not a boat she's not here yet not going to steal a boat and I do like honey we got we got hands up who likes pause up who likes honey yeah we all like honey I'll swim out I said pause oh okay do you want to pause for a minute and think about that or oh my God said you didn't like I hate you just everybody's doing it Splinter on this table w w what Wally Wally remind me love uh what's your uh special skill then well I'm an expert thief I ain't a door that will hold me I'll either pick the lock or knock it down and what about your bear tip it's Carnage you're you're going at Carnage if if things got to [ __ ] I'll just rip limbs off all right hopefully won't come to that darling that's that's the worst case scenario but you might be good as a distraction when we're in there maybe you could knock some stools over or something then people running I kill some people no no no no no hun listen to me no killing in this operation right no deaths this time not like last year remember what happened last year oh that was the bad year oh God no deaths this year right right you just might do a dist action knock over a few things you know make a make a bit of a make a bit of a hustle fle okay all right okay so to start with we need to get you into that room okay well I think the way we can handle this is um so at any point you are able to do a flashback and what we will do is we will flashback to this scene when you are explaining how this plan is going to work or you can flash back um into the pass and um we are just going to throw you right at the main entrance of honeycom 2017 um you all stood all you you can all be sat in the back of the uh the Barbie mobile oh my God your pink corser and you can see hundreds if not thousands of people have descended on barington um the big queue to the front Gates um everyone is going down a lot of this is being held at the dock side in the warehouses um you know this whole are is sort of like fenced off um you can see boats are pulled up bringing honey from all around the world uh and they are all uh selling their wees the honey convention is absolutely enormous and there's big posters um there's a A zeppelin uh advertising that Beyonce is playing uh this evening and you need to work out how are you going to get inside of this place um walking on gang ways around you can see he heavy armed guards snipers there are there are actual snipers um there's like Lookout turrets and there are CCTV cameras um all over the place including uh automatic drones that are both armed and have campas uh this place okay very very uh highly secure who knew honey was such big business I know well I guess it's queen bee herself yeah I think it's mainly uh protection for be it's like that Manuka Honey or whatever that expensive stuff really high quality I heard of it Manuka yeah remember it was like a big thing at while ago and it was very expensive anyway yeah uh hopefully we'll get some of that well that's the plan isn't it that's the plan um sorry the car's a bit tight a small car for four Bears yeah so it is foury for humans oh yeah yeah we're humans yeah you're right you're right have we got a a counterfeit Vib tickets to get in our passes um no well how' you get on at the office what I I was insinuating sh flashback to your breaking into the office oh yes I thought the flashback was when we were planning no um but if you want to last week we broke in and you were sneaking into the office you okay how'd you go up with that let me tell you all about it when they were setting up I guess prior to uh beon before all the security honey honey con I snuck in to the security area and hacked their computers some okay right I'm going to need so straight away you need to move a point from uh bear to criminal because we're doing a flashback and yeah tell me tell me how goes also I'm going to make you make some dice rolls during a flash because uh you know what I'm the bear master I thought that was the way it worked um can we call you bear Daddy I would Daddy I would daddy bear is my daddy bear daddy bear daddy uh yeah so uh I I snuck in to the security I I imagine they have one of those sort of uh what do you call them it's like at a building site it's like yeah there like portable a port office thing that they've set up and they've got that their nerve center with the servers and computers and OB yeah there's um a few of those maybe like four or five stacked just all on top of each other little staircase running up the side so I'm uh appearing as one of the it guys who's come to set things up but I'm going to leave a trojan horse that ween troan bear a Trojan bear a Trojan bear okay to uh to get us in um right I'm going to have to roll against your disguise okay 22 dice uh 22 so if I I have to roll uh if I roll under it then you're fine yeah you'd have to roll three sixes right off the bat really it's a lot uh so yeah you head on in and there's a load of sort of like techy guys laying cables there's people doing lighting um they're setting up like all of this stuff not a lot has actually come in there's a lot of people coming and going right so a lot of hustle bustle and so 18 uh so yeah there's another guy um in as you you head in he's like oh yeah no I'll um I'll be back I'm just going for lunch and it's this uh kind of like skinny dude uh he's wearing like denim cargo trousers a black T-shirt and he's got this like real flash of blonde hair perfect and he's got quite thick glasses um uh that he takes off as he like is uh heading outside because it's pouring with rain oh yeah you don't want to get your specs wet um and you see like as he goes to put them in his back pocket he just drops them and he just heads off uh into town looking for some kind of like food food van type thing excellent um well I'll pop those on my big face uh also you can see his name bad says uh his name's his name's Gary Gary hi it's me Gary as usual hello uh yes it's um I'm I'm in charge of the tech here uh Gary I thought you were going for lunch oh uh I changed my mind I'm not hungry unless you have any honey um don't worry about it roll me a roll me a dice what just just if there is honey four well probably well we've got um synthetic honey oh no thank you uh because of my allergies I hate working honey con is is really dangerous for me oh dear oh oh well I could swap his uh honey for his honey for honey I'm going to roll to see if he has an epip pen 50/50 if it's four or over he has an EpiPen he does not have an do are you going to kill him only for a while there we go [ __ ] what an idiot why is he oh my God uh yeah you [ __ ] up well no you can see in the waste paper bin there's like eight used EP oh my God sely allergic um and he's actually just jbed the l two into his legs I really hope my shipment of epip pens I'm going through these at a rate of knots probably shouldn't have worked honey con what a do they always say Gary you idiot don't work honey con oh jeez it'll kill you uh anyway you to do something on the computers uh you work here we work together we're old friends we went to school together I know you were my best man of course um I love you here have some honey as his tradition I give you honey special synth honey uh do you actually I don't know if you have honey no I don't think I do I wouldn't I wouldn't touch syn honey uh so there is you will all be able to collect honey if you ever managed to steal honey um I've got a whole load of Honey cards to get you but right now you don't actually have any honey on you I'll get to hacking yeah so you're in this um it's a fairly tight room uh but Gary is pretty distracted um avoiding honey and he's just plugging in computers they're wiring up hundreds of thousands of video cameras right now and he's working on the uh the Drone drone system okay a lot of cameras hundreds of thousands there's no millimeter of this place that isn't going to be covered yeah there's a lot of cameras yeah Jesus luckily I wrote a computer program that that can't see bears oh so we'll we'll everything else will seem fine but we won't appear oh my God clever it's called chat GP bear or something I can't think of a good one uh there's there's a pun in there come on GPT chat GPT AI ump Bees honey honey sure whatever I wrote an AI anyway and GP it's going to sit on the server and intercept images of and replace them with pictures of people okay I absolutely love this I'm going to need to have a hacking roll out of you of course how do I do that uh so you TR to roll underneath your criminal skill you do you successfully roll underneath your criminal skill yes uh congratulations um you have installed uh this chat GPB uh system where all bears will now no longer appear on their camera systems yes you've absolutely oh that's good absolutely avoided that um Gary just does not notice whatsoever um but I am incompetent so perhaps instead of replacing them with humans I've replaced them with something else just not Bears uh well we'll get to that I'll handle that bit of information just so you know uh well you have successfully achieved something and so your Criminal Mind is taking over uh so you have to move one more point from bear into criminal I do see that puts you on five criminality if you ever make it to six criminality then you will betray everyone and try to steal all the honey for yourself so you will need to consume some honey have to do some bare things very quickly uh but if you ever succeed at a task um then you will uh you will become a criminal forever right Y and it'll turn out that you're not a criminal you're not a bear pretending to be a criminal you're actually a criminal pretending to be a bear and you've betrayed them okay okay okay right we get back to the uh sat in this horrible rainy Alleyway um outside of the barington fish yard um the docks uh where honeycom is being held and as these cameras you can see them like locking onto everyone that's kind of like coming up scanning faces um they just don't even register you guys they just don't even don't even notice you Winslow you've done it again congratulations very well well done uh right what is your what are you guys up to um you can approach this place without any suspicion whatsoever um but there is still there are armed guards all over the place and there are definitely uh you you might need tickets you might need some or some other way to get into this place you're at the main entrance um you're more than welcome to the world what about you know what we need now we need to put our our fluorescent jackets on that say staff okay did we bring them with us are they in the boots oh about that okay right who is doing the flashback uh I guess it would be me pecking up the Corsa and getting us outfits so going to don't know like a a trade shop she's gone down whent jackets so you walk into uh the the local Wick or have you gone out of town for this local Wix yeah they probably have a wick yeah yeah something nearby um how what's your uh oh dear you walk in and um the old lady that works there uh is just like like all right yeah [ __ ] shut up it's a [ __ ] bear oh my God uh she sees a a literal grizzly bear walking you do have terrifying right yeah wearing a scare her I scare her away uh you 100% can I think you practically have already San into it if you have a skill so this will apply to um your background it will apply to your role in the the party um and whatever bear type you are um all of those will have a bit of information so you know retired um the polar bear uh has the swim ability um or uh driver if you can ever argue one of those is applicable to a dice roll um instead of rolling one dice you roll two dice and you get to choose the lowest one so very big Advantage so you're incompetent uh you could say I deserve a bonus because of my incompetency um okay if you can find a way to work that out I'm generally going to be pretty pretty lenient that's going to be tough okay uh but the more creative you are the more likely can I argue because I'm a terrifying Grizzly BR was my friendly bet de [ __ ] and suddenly I'm like and try well I don't think she's seen you as a friendly bear she's just seen a grizzly bear walk into the room wearing a cowboy hat is instantly terrified but if you want to try and terrify her so roll two dice and if you roll uh so you're trying to roll underneath whatever your bare skill is at the moment two two uh yeah tell me what happens uh as you have achieved whatever you want to achieve uh I'm just going to bat her out of the shop oh my God she's dead U is she alive is she not not full quau just like push her over she falls like into a puddle outside onto the curb oh God she's quite old iify all people she lands face down in the puddle face down in the puddle oh no oh she's drowning okay roll me uh dice um one is bad for her six is she's okay three oh she's not great she's broken some bones yeah pelvis [ __ ] pelvis is shattered oh my oh she cries in the street as you are now stood in this empty Wix you were meant to just get the high his jackets this is a flashback are you flashbacking into his flashback no that's why I wasn't in Winslow character um can I just quickly Shuffle into the shop try to avoid the commotion yeah you go into the shop it's yeah it's empty now and um yeah they they have hi jackets uh they've got whatever whatever else you want okay uh I'm going to grab four massive [ __ ] bright yellow jackets that say staff on the back maybe I don't know extra extra large extra extra extra large okay perfect you get those and so uh you and Al stood we flash forwards I open the trunk L all way car God yeah duck duck taped up is this old lady with four uh hi jackets um in the boot of the car as well you're now all wearing hi his jackets excellent this was her car oh my god wow Christ okay so you've stolen this old lady's car and she must have been in there for a couple of days now right she proba dead she's [ __ ] dead is this a roll moment roll one is bad six no she's alive she's fine but she's horribly injured hor injured but she she is alive yeah uh great trunk then oh my God okay does that put up my criminal score that does lower your bear ability and increase your uh criminality but he did smack her like a Bearwood uh but it's just if you ever succeed at stuff um then you're more competent and you're more criminal I do actually have a question um is this a rules question it is yeah I wasn't going to ask where the babies come from still haven't figured that out um a mummy bear so my my believability of my disguise is absolute dog [ __ ] do I know that as wise boy Wally so I can't plan around that or do anything okay well because I'm the we link I think you can put two and two together right um but if you have disguisers uh well now you have um these Hiers jackets I think I think yeah you'll get bonuses to this right um oh you know I don't know if we could steal all this honey and have her corpse in the car we might need to steal that to get away I'm going to point up at the Zeppelin Zeppelin get get away Ze there is a zeppelin uh well we can uh make it to the Zeppelin later on but are you guys broaching broaching the compound uh yeah I think we're I think we're all just uh we've got our high vises on you're quite small aren't you you are quite small you're a honey Baner honey bers are little guy yeah just a little guy I would have grabbed you a bare sized jacket not knowing I think I'd pretend fine that's fine yeah you did specify it was for xxxl it's just like I think I'd pretend maybe we could a bigger one could pretend that you're there our baby of some the baby can't be yeah who's the biggest I think I'm sort of midsize am I sun bear polar bears are pretty big probably the biggest I think he should be your baby or am high visible baby I've done worst things on a job so I'll be a baby uh I think we should go through that door that says staff only over there yeah you see um okay baby there's still like an armed guard by this door and you can see people in these exactly the same HIZ jackets um some of them still have the Wix tag on them uh people coming and going um that's a shame cuz that old she would have made a lot of money that day but yeah it turned out all these people loads people just went and stole it I mean in mind it's all just going to the big Wick's Mega Corp anyway she unless she's Miss it's not Wick apostrophe s wix's yeah yeah so there's this um guard over there and uh he's uh looking at people you're not here to steal honey are you you work here come through this door what where are we going um good [ __ ] question one why I got f up everything which one of you is the has the least convincing score I have 15 the baby I have seven okay I'm I'm going to give you like a plus five because you have the staff outfit on uh so it's a 13 that I have to car you're being carried okay fine you can have a will put up to a 15 because you look like a baby maybe we should have done a family disguise instead of uh like have him in a push chair yeah oo you actually made it you are good what the [ __ ] okay oh it's uh very good um the baby has wearing a HIZ he sounds like a baby he's on his work experience he very hungry oh it's get get him in young I say get him in I love that uh please make sure if you go into one of the Hazardous areas he does put on his baby hard hat as well later on um we the little squishy bit on his brain get messed up it's the little squishy bit on the brain we got to be careful on building sites and construction areas with babies so C get that hat on that baby they can't not allow like a m and a baby though cuz that'd be discrimination so no no we uh we definitely don't do that here at all no where's the craft service the craft service where the food is oh uh yeah craft yeah it's like you get that like a a a film shoot or something I've never heard it called a craft Service uh yeah um no it's right inside there's all kinds of things sandwiches food uh honey honey just all of you at once honey honey oh my God these first words oh yes there is uh honey there uh 100% um I just ask can you be careful with it and please don't take honey up to the it offices we've had several instances already today um but uh uh come on through um how enjoy working at Honey con thank you thank you you're so welcome he uh yeah let's you through this um big gate and you uh yeah you're in the the kind of the staff area now of honeycom there's a whole load of people kind of Milling around um any lanyards yeah oh Romy herb dice no no no you can see where there would be lanyards and um everyone is like assigned to a name there's this quite high-tech system and it would have been amazing to have them but they've all actually been collected I forgot to add lanyard sorry I am an incompetent hacker after all yeah that's the problem uh okay I got some earlier he's flashing back yeah [ __ ] it this is why this is how you're supposed to use the flash sure okay uh right tell me tell me how you're getting a getting some lanyards what Thief so obviously this would be Child's Play right as a child lanard all delivered in a van like the night before honey con and it was a pie cake I um they were going over a bridge and I set up the bridge with like a road block no no a road block so they would stop and they'd have no way tell me tell me uh this right so there's a robot a s of shotgun oh my God okay like you're robbing a [ __ ] money truck okay I love this okay so yeah this um this big heavy duty honeycom van uh it's the middle of the night and they're doing this Express overnight delivery of um there's a bunch of tech and lights and stuff like that and epipens uh oh my God EP delivery this emergency EpiPen delivery is on its way um and it's all the stuff that had to be brushed there immediately their um security stuff and yeah this what is the roadblock made of what is this looking like um I I dragged a Fallen Tree across the bridge classic absolute classic roadblock okay we got some local Ewoks to help us because of course they're also Bears that's very true AR they Bears I think they're furries right they're like people dressed as Bears no the Ewoks weren't dressed up I'll ask war and yeah so the the the this truck is like really speeding a against this bridge and it has to like jam on The Brak was not expecting this it's doing this emergency delivery does it actually break in time though Tom cuz there's no there's no fine roll me a dice roll me a dice come on come on five it's so close uh it does um it does break um but there's only a couple of inches before it would have hit this tree absolutely fine right um and the the guy gets out uh and he's just like my God a tree I'm running late he looks at his okay his wrist watch uh how am I going to get to Honey con I need to deliver these epipens and these lanyards that I keep in this box I jump out from behind the tree where I was hiding I brandish the shotgun the soff shotgun okay and I attempt to say because human speech is not great yeah um give me the lard do you dead don't be a hero don't be a hero oh my [ __ ] god uh he you know I'm not in a disguise a bear with a bear with a shotgun a bear with a shotgun comes up to about his weight oh yeah you're little you're a little bear with a shotgun yeah and it's dark this guy's probably not even going to know that you're a honey badger he's just going to think you're a badger [ __ ] kick you he might just think I'm a very small hairy man a very small his eyes will go to the shop are you not wearing a b clav or something what to hide my identity well you don't want recognize you later I am not wearing a b of Cl okay right make a note of that they're going to get you in the lineup later on L they find five other honey badges so right make me a a role what what are you doing I guess a criminal activity yeah you're trying to crimin right armed robberry arm robberry so I need three or under right yeah it's a one Tom U right tell me what happens oh he again my delivery so criminal goes up bear goes down right yeah yeah because you succeeded at doing something right okay also did you increase your criminality by doing a flashback you should have done that already so [ __ ] so going into a flashback and doing something criminal that's two points on we need succeeding anything flb we need honey badly yeah you guys are well it's why you're doing honey Heist well yeah but I mean we we need it now as well all right my God what is happening please my lanyards okay um [ __ ] what do I do with him get the lanyards I think I just take the butt of the shotgun and just spash him in the top of the head wait how do I do that I'm small you can't CL up him in the shot him in the knees and grab his lanyards no I time him to get down on the ground face down oh of course I will stretch your arms and your legs how do I speak your legs out Str legs out yeah stretch your stretch your arms and legs out uh yeah he's lying face down yeah on the bridge don't [ __ ] move I see you move I got to blow your [ __ ] arms off my arms I me those but how will I carry my liion all right okay I get I I I guess I do jump in the back of the van yeah okay yeah in there you see one side is boxes full of lanyards and the other side boxes full of epipens I grab four lanyards not even looking at them okay just grab four yeah yeah no that's great not looking at names whatever yeah excellent sweet okay right um cut back into you guys stood uh you are all wearing these hi um hanging out in the area um like the staff area and you can see um kind of like a preppy woman with a clipboard coming over and being like H we've heard I've heard we've had people infiltrating this place I need to I need to check everyone's lanyards right now and she's just like blipping everyone uh blipping their things like yes you're here you're here you're here as well excellent and she's kind of done a lot of um lot of the people in like the immediate vicinity like this is sort of like an outside part and drizzly there's people smoking or just people like hanging out um and she sees you guys and starts heading over towards towards you quick put the liion on quick grab uh right away um she goes through each of you and just God uh scans your lanyards like excellent you we did get the baby one as well very pleased to see that um excellent uh break time is almost over I expect to see you out there working and uh just uh zooms off you are so lucky you got those lanyards in time otherwise you would have been in trouble and as she leaves you can see that she's got like a pair of silver revolvers as well don't mess around uh there's everyone there's armed guards here and she takes her job very seriously I'm starting to forget I'm a bear we need some honey all right all right first things first let's head over to the tester section and go off some of those the what the testers they've got ters they've got stool set up where they're selling on see and they give you little testers to see whether you want to buy it or not everyone's on lunch we you should get over and get the honey from catering no well you're definitely right there is um a big part of Honey conon is giving three samples of Honey to people so you want to go from stall to stall to stall tasting honey yeah both yeah yeah definitely raar I do that when I'm thinking about honey raar raar uh yeah you can all go over to the uh the tester tester area dozens dozens and dozens of all kinds of different honey from all over the world uh people shouting roll up roll up try our amazing honey made by real [Music] bee I guess we just split up and eat honey uh okay how much honey do you all want to eat I'll say you can all have effectively one portion of honey cuz you're all bears yeah and you're only getting little pots I don't want to give out too much okay so one portion so I get one more bear and one one less criminal one from criminality to Bear if you want to I do um right now I think I'm three on each R I'm not three on each is it worth just sticking even or just it's up to you put it in your bare Pockets you if you want to put some honey in your Pockets I will allow you can I put it in my pocket be Pockets yeah pocket there marup they have pockets I put them in my tarton trousers or just spooning in then I will allow you to so save some honey for later uh which you have stored you can just take take something from take a piece from the pile that one some of them are do we take some for eating it or is it gone forever you've consumed it so you can bank that and you can eat that honey later got a good [ __ ] very fragrant syringe of Honey a very fragrant mad honey uh what did you get I've got a very fra fragile I can't [ __ ] read I keep saying fragrant over and over again very fragile jar of honey it's because of yum which of course the episode with youan has just gone out today and it was very y podcast pick uh it's fragile okay how the [ __ ] do I get that from a tester well they they oh they little don't they yeah I think it's glass very fragile um I see to the the sample men oh listen yeah I actually have to move one of the pallets uh to another location and like flash my lanyard atam oh yeah this sounds criminal to me roll a criminal roll uh oh dear six uh no we've been set up for hours we can't can't move anything now um you're lanyard uh that says that you're uh part of the toilet cleaning crew why are you here [ __ ] around with my honey stall do you know who I am you CH B honey that's right I'm John B [ __ ] honey I built honey con from the ground up that they stole it from me sorry I'm just a big fan so because he failed a dice roll uh you have to move a point from criminality into bear because you got a little bit upset okay uh with John B honey oh Johnny Boy Love honey uh no just uh just a sweet boy Buttercup uh so yeah no he are um shway you get out of here sorry on my name John B honey see W one of those like the honey drizzle steak he's got he's got a big one of those like a it's like a or a like walking stick big honey starers uh his like black and yellow striped top hat and yeah he's got a really big stall there honey uh yeah get the heck out of here I thought it was called honey con because of the honey things but it's actually named after him it's uh weird yeah you would have thought that it was just because it is so much honey did he actually invent honey John B honey yeah yeah yeah that's so named after him honey well his family invented invented the Honeys go back a long way yeah a long way before bees existed because he invented the bee his great-grandfather invented the bee yeah it actually his great-grandfather because bees haven't been around all that long right only two generations right but is is right no I think it's his great grandmother Janice B also known as the queen bee yeah yeah the the OG queen bee and then she married um a Jeremiah honey okay right yeah okay we're get that and that's how it got back to Honey very rich very rich backw Back Back stories um important stuff we have you should be writing all that down I you don't forget a story like that don't worry I've made the notes oh I rolled their their stats up as well I rolling to see if I believe you okay I guess I do I kind of do okay well so you've all just had a little honey Break um you're Loosely filled up but there's still plenty of Honey to be had and you are no closer getting to beonce and that concludes this episode of mystery quest uh I hope you guys are enjoying seeing a slightly slightly goofier slightly sillier kind of role playing system um it's just a onepage rule set there are a ton of fun to play and uh yeah it's kind of wild going into it with zero planning but hopefully you know that adds to the chos and if you do enjoy them maybe You' consider becoming a member um where you access to a bunch of behind the-scenes stuff see some other other fun things going on and uh you get to help us keep making this stuff happen until next time everybody [Music] goodbye

Channel: Mystery Quest

Views: 74,716

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Id: pBxxROv0gOo

Length: 73min 13sec (4393 seconds)

Published: Sat Dec 30 2023