Episode 116 -- A Gentle Spanking with Amy Conner

all right hello everyone welcome to [ __ ] Wellness I'm McKenna I'm Laura and I'm Mallory and today we have maybe the most special guest ever this is someone who I um really admire I really respect a mentor of mine and just generally like a really really cool person and I'm so excited to have her on the podcast to kind of give her her perspective on not only her life Journey but also her work as well and how that leads together um so yeah um Amy Connor welcome to the podcast oh what an introduction you're so sweet I feel like I also need to say here because no one can see your face unless you watch this on YouTube but like McKenna is giddy I am like Oh I'm a little bit nervous so that's also yeah I'm like I really want this to be a fun time for you um and also it's just I don't know a special time that I feel like worlds are colliding in a way I love it I'm happy to be here and share whatever I need to share with your listeners and and help them through some some transitions so you know um my connection with you guys runs far and my my like I was thinking about like who am I what's what's my title my friends call me a wizard I am in fact not a wizard I can guarantee this um but I I guess you could call me a psychic medium although I really don't like that term so I usually say like I'm an intuitive reader I I'm a spiritual teacher that feels more comfortable for me and I feel like people resonate with that a little bit more so yeah I I offer readings for people who are generally coming to me because they're in a transition um and if they don't think they are when we get off the phone they realize them so there's um there's always people looking for guidance whether it's like they're going through a spiritual awakening or they're feeling like they want to leave a relationship or enter a new relationship um or change careers or just like align themselves more with their purpose it's always around transition and I feel like we can all resonate with things shifting in our lives constantly that's not something new for all of us hopefully they will shift and they will even flow but there can also be a lot of heightened emotions as you guys I'm sure are aware of transitional times and what that means for us totally if you could give a quick kind of like overview of your journey into this work maybe also the medical side as well because I think that's something that makes you really unique um in this kind of line of work so it's such a unique story because I didn't grow up with these feelings of like oh my God I'm seeing like dead grandma and I'm seeing ghosts and I like I can't get rid of them like that wasn't my experience at all looking back I did have some really interesting magical moments where I'm like oh things are obvious now but at the time like it just wasn't obvious thankfully I grew up with like hippie parents in a really like hippie rural town where this kind of stuff was pretty normal I don't want to say normal but it was like you could find this material in local bookshops and you could find like crystal shops and you could have readings and that kind of thing so in that way it felt normal-ish to me but um it didn't nothing really showed itself until I was in my early 30s and I felt like I had like my [ __ ] together and my life together but I had a relationship that I was in for so long that I was like what are we doing and we both felt that way and that really prompted me to go get a reading of my own and the lady had told me that I was going to be doing this work she's like oh you're gonna be doing what I'm doing but also with like a medical thing and I was like I thought I have no idea what you're talking about and I have no idea what this medical intuitive I've never heard of that term so I left that reading thinking like I had to like change my life in the morning and I was like oh my God what am I doing like do I have to quit my job do I have to search what they do but in three months I was getting somebody coming through from the other side who had recently passed it was like a friend of a friend I didn't even really know anybody involved and I was like oh my God is this stuff real like this is happening and I knew what was going on like health-wise with everybody at the gym and I was like oh my God that guy's gonna have a heart attack we're like this is crazy stuff that I didn't know like what do you do with that information and it would just be like little I wouldn't say a voice like like a word or a sentence that would pop in my head and it'd be like lupus and I'm like oh my God is she gonna go like what do you say to something like that because because I was just getting like fragmented information and a lot of people will say that when they start doing this work of like I just got information I didn't know what to do with it it just like popped in so I'm getting all this this stuff and I'm getting then like what somebody's purpose is and it just kind of uh grew from there and I really liked the the medical side of things so I studied with a woman who's a doctor and a medical intuitive and teaches this stuff and I learned more about the human body and what chakras were and I read like every book I got like so many readings by so many people to verify like is this real and everyone's like oh you're gonna be doing this work I'm like oh my God this is so crazy so um yeah it was a huge transitional time that got me into this work that relationship fell apart and um was partially a catalyst for really finding my voice and finding myself and really jumping solidly into this work it kind of all happened at the same time um so yeah it's uh it's been a wild ride and I started doing energy work along with doing readings because it was more comfortable for me than just being like hey sit down I'm gonna tell you all about yourself I was like I was like dying inside like please don't ask me stuff like I don't know if I'm gonna be right or not so I started with with energy work and just as the years got went by and like I've done thousands of readings at this point and have really got comfortable with how it comes through for me and how to share information I think is a really important piece of this work too um how to approach that and how to have a conversation with somebody so yeah it's um it's been a a really fun road I've been doing this for I don't know 14 14 years or something like that now and I love it it I really genuinely love being able to give people insight into their next steps and where they're at and like if you turn left this is your opportunity if you turn right this is your opportunity not one is like good or bad or right or wrong but like hey I want to show you your options so um always unique conversation as you guys know when you're having a reading and um it's yeah it's really it's really cool work I can't imagine not doing this it's been wonderful I want to go back to the reading you got where were the the person told you that you were going to eventually do this work because I feel like even though you know I can't relate to that exact experience like I feel like we've all had those experiences that sort of shatter a little bit of glass in our heads where we're like oh maybe this transition or this new path is something that I should consider so could you talk a little bit about maybe the emotions that came up when you heard that and maybe some of like the cognitive dissonance that you were feeling of like oh this is so much overwhelming potentially a new thing but not sure yeah a lot of like overwhelm some excitement of like yeah I could know about somebody and their life and like I could know this stuff and like how could I use this to navigate My Life um it just seemed so almost unbelievable that that like psychicness is even like a possibility so for me it yeah it was like had a cool factor of like this could be something that I could do and imagine if I could be like oh you you know you've got cancer and you can cure it this way whatever it was in my head at that time um I thought was just so neat it comes with a lot of responsibility though and none of that of course came up at that time I just thought like oh this could be cool really is this possible and then the overwhelm of like how do I transition like I've always been self-employed so that part wasn't scary to be like oh how do you go from a nine to five to being self-employed and like developing a business like I've always had different businesses so that business for me has always been like a natural flow um so I didn't have any fear around that part but it was just like how do how does how does it all work how is this all going to happen so really that fear of the unknown and the anxiety that can come up in a transition because I feel like anxiety can bring up or transition I should say it can bring up a lot of anxiety of like fear of the future which I absolutely had but it can also bring up a lot of grief of the past and that sadness of like well [ __ ] if if my life is going to be different then what does that mean am I going to be living in a different place am I going to be like going to work in a different office who's going to be around me what does that mean for my relationship there's so many different things components and feelings that come up around transition it's not just about shift it's about how are you dealing with the grief and the anxiousness that comes along with it and that followed me for a while of feeling like how do I manage this it was about two years of a process from that reading on where I took every class that came up I read every book like I had a massage therapist say like oh you need to read about Carolyn mace and I was like who the heck is this so it's like all of these trigger points had happened to make me go oh I need to know about this person or this thing or learn a little bit about this but yeah it was two years of of wondering like how do I make this happen but also having the Steep faith of like if this is supposed to be then this could be a really cool wild ride and why not just like flow with it and see what happens I I feel like that initial reading I mean your friends might joke that you're a wizard but it feels very much like the you're a wizard every moment of like Harry Potter where I feel like if someone's told me I'd be like is this a prank am I being filmed right now you know and looking back I feel like had I not listened to what she had said and had I not been like yeah I'm I'm going to do all these classes and read all these books and if I was like I'm good I'm Gonna Keep Selling Houses I feel like it would have kept coming back around because it's so ingrained in my purpose and what I need to be doing it's so clear like this is what I need to be doing in my life and it's not just a job but it's more of a purpose and it's where I feel like most aligned spiritually and it I just I know it would have kept creeping back where I'd be like man this is kind of crazy like why does this keep coming up or why do I keep getting pulled to this material or or why do I keep getting more readings and they're saying the same thing so if you look into my astrological chart this is so set up before like I even came into this planet and there is something to be said about like what is our Free Will and what's pre-planned and I feel like our Free Will is like 95 of our life but there's some of that pre-planning of like your blueprint what's your purpose gonna be how do you come into this world who are your parents going to be what spot on the Earth are you going to be what sex and race you're going to be like what's affording you your opportunities in this lifetime so those things I feel like are like pre-planned but I also having my chart done and not following too much in astrology but from what I know I've seen them go back to like oh you got your first job when you were 15 and you started developing you know an important relationship at six like all these things that happened so I have to believe that this was part of the plan too and there's nothing I could have really done to get out of it I feel like it would have kept showing up for me and I think that's the same for a lot of people that are feeling like they're called into transition whether it's like leaving a relationship or finding a different career these things constantly come up for us and knock on our door in the way of repetition people talking about them all the time just getting that nudge feeling like the the flow and the ease and that path of least resistance is what the universe is trying to show you like hey take this this is gonna be easy which means everything else is going to be harder and you're going to get a lot of shut doors on the other ways but I do strongly believe that this would have shown up and it will continually show up for people that are in transitions as well of the direction they should they should really be going yeah I feel like with those things that are just so clearly right it'll keep it'll always keep bugging you and then the the nudges will get even bigger and bigger and bigger yeah um but I can just say like personally it's so helpful to you know I trust myself a fair amount and I trust my intuition a fair amount but it's so helpful to have the nudges but then also have everything like have a reading with you and have things verified in a way that's like okay blue check mark like I am good to go now with those whereas like I don't know I struggle with this because sometimes I'm like and it's not I don't think this at all but sometimes I'm like is it cheating of me to like like depend on like not depend but like to have a reading done and get the check mark verification and be like okay now we're good to go whereas like I know it would have you know kept nudging but sometimes like what would you say to someone who's kind of like oh well that's like it depends on the frequency okay because if you're like I have to talk to you once a week I'd be like hold on this isn't benefiting you because we're talking about the same stuff and what are you shifting on your end that's then going to shift the energy that I read so it's I wouldn't see it as cheating I would see it as having some clarity when you're feeling stuck so a reading is really valuable when you're at that pivot point where you're like well [ __ ] do I turn left or right like what are my options here I would say a lot of times when people are feeling a certain pull of like well I kind of want to make this decision like there's a reason why they're feeling that way and I can confirm like yes this is this is the pathway you know if this is not your imagination however there's also times where people will really get their anxiety mixed up with their intuition and feel like I need to pick this path but it's coming out of fear not an honest intuitive decision so it's important to really look at you know you're aligned with your intuition when you are not betraying yourself you are not betraying the decisions that are meaningful to you your boundaries what is a non-negotiable what is what is feeling like it's in the flow where all of the doors are opening instead of the doors that are shutting that we've probably been taught by family in society that you just keep knocking on those doors even if they're hard you just keep pushing no we take a pause and we look at like what is working for me and what is not working for me there's also something we said with how the anxiety ties in with intuition and I find that as my intuition has grown over the years that the I've experienced anxiety over knowing something is going to happen and not feeling like I can control my way out of it so it's not so much the anxiety of like oh my God is the sky gonna fall is this gonna happen it's like I just know this is going to happen and now I'm like ruminating about it and I'm like God like so there is two versions of connecting your intuition with anxiety one is like am I making fear-based decisions is this coming from my heart is this just like stuff that I'm that I'm patterned to be afraid of or or this has just been my behavior or is it like man no I just know this is truth and now this is bringing me a lot of angst because I know this is coming down the line I I just had that the other day where I was like good I know this is gonna happen with the house that I'm just freaking out about it and it's like oh look what happened what I was knowing was gonna happen that I was having like genuine anxiety about so you have to really look at what you're feeling around your intuition when it's like do I turn left or do I turn right and where is that coming from because when I'm reading you it's just information I'm not caught up in the end result of what you choose because I'm looking at things from like a bigger picture of what is in the most alignment with your soul and your purpose I don't care if you date that person or not because that isn't the true alignment with your purpose and what you're here on this planet to do for 90 years that one person may be offering a lot of feedback in the form of a mirror to you and what you could learn and grow from and how you could teach that person but it doesn't mean that that person being in your life or not being your life is the end goal the end goal is like what do I take away from this when it comes to growth for myself and what do I want to do with this to make sure that I'm not betraying myself I'm honoring what my needs are as someone who also kind of like really trusts my intuition with a lot of decisions I think it's an important thing to note that sometimes when I make a decision based out of fear there are certain like factors with me specifically that I can immediately clock that are like oh you broke out your face broke out this was a bad decision or like yeah you immediately got sick it immediately tracks with this decision that you made that crossed one of your boundaries because you feel obligated or you're people pleasing or whatever or you know I hook up with this person and then I have like a big reaction right like there are these weird physical things not weird pretty normal but I think for me that's how it shows in my life but I think everyone has that little thing right like however it comes through of like how I don't know making the decisions that you're making is directly impacting you you're reinforcing one belief or the other whether it's fear or your intuition so yeah and it's important to know like what you what you're saying about how your body is reacting is like so true because when we look at health and and disease and what components are a part of that like sure we've got like genetics and the environment and nutrition but the emotions and the beliefs are like the biggest trigger and what it is about the emotions is like how much anger fear or sadness am I harboring in my body because as humans we have five emotions like we could call them all flowery words and whatever we want but we've got anger fear sadness love and joy love and joy don't cause heart attacks it like genetics that that could be lurking but it's like the stored anger fear and sadness that we have is the real component to why we're experiencing what we are so I would say McKenna like taking whatever that that experiences for you and backtracking and being like all right what actual emotion is that and why why am I feeling this way because that helps to kind of Bring It Forward so you can really honor like yeah I've been feeling really fearful because so 100 people should be looking at their emotional state and what emotions have been the most common and they can really start to tie them to what's going on in their physical body I had a huge transition when um moving it was almost two years ago we did something really unique in covid we bought a house in the mountains and got a dog so um that was like a huge transition for me because I had owned the same home for 15 years and it was my little Sanctuary so to be like hey let's sell our homes and buy one together and you know we'll build this stream it was like so exciting and just like my biggest dream but when I thought about everything new new grocery store new friends new people new day to day I was like oh my God this is like that was the very first time I felt anxiety and had a full blown anxiety attack like a couple of them where I was trying to go for a walk um and I was down the street and I ended up having to stop on a curb because I was sobbing and trying to breathe at the same time and I couldn't and I'm just like hyperventilating and it was because of the unknown of that transition and the sadness of like leaving something that was ready to be left but it doesn't take away any like grief or sadness that we have we can even rationalize in our head of like yeah this is like this is no longer serving me so I've got this whole other dream about this whole other life that feels so exciting it doesn't mean that you can't grieve what you've left it doesn't just turn on and off like that but also like your transition into that new kind of Adventure wasn't without hiccups right like I think that's also another huge thing of like oh well following my intuition maybe that just means that everything's gonna work out perfectly I'm gonna have no bumps in the road at nothing that's going to give me anxiety you know what I mean but it's sometimes like just because it's it still is serving you like in the best way that's the best decision for you does it mean that like crummy house stuff doesn't happen you know for sure and I you bring up a really good point because a lot of people think that like having solid intuition means their life is going to be perfect and it's not you know like yeah the whole house process as you remember was like really difficult we shopped around for a house for like a year and we got beat out because everybody was writing offers for these crazy amounts and you know looking back the universe put us where we need to be like our street and our neighbors like the best humans in the world and we're like thank God we got this so it's so funny how again like I could have knocked on all of those closed doors and been like fighting for like no this is going to be our house what do we have to do but it was like you know let's just be in the flow it's funny because when we were in escrow like it was so my my past life was um in real estate before I got into this stuff and I was I was in real estate like my entire life before moving into this and um so I it was our escrow was the worst escrow I've ever experienced in my life and I was like the universe what is The Universe telling me and I realized then and I realized now that um if we really wanted this house it would cause some angst and we would run up it wasn't going to be smooth sailing and that's what I took from that totally right it was like all right we love our neighbors we love our Hood but oh my God like one thing after another with this house that was so frustrating we were like we knew we needed to remodel it but it was like we pulled off some Sheetrock in the garage because it was like sheetrock on sheetrock like this looks so weird there was a half empty can of motor oil that someone sheetrocked like into the wall and we're like what is happening so that was like summing up the the our experience um with the house so as as someone who's a fake adult what is escrow again when you buy a house period okay so when your offers is um accepted by the seller that's when you go into escrow so they hold all the money and they do some paperwork with some legal paperwork behind the scenes so yeah and you discover things in little funny fossils in sheetrock that's so funny after we bought the house yeah awesome great stories though so good I want to talk a little bit more about the grief part of transition because I think as you brought up a few times that is often what feels like the least talked about part of Transitions and it feels like it also has the most like shame around it where you feel really bad that you're like grieving a past thing and I know in past transitions I've gone through it's like to your point with your the house that you owned for so long like there was Comfort there there was like stability there and so deciding to move like also meant leaving that which was exciting and great and like you know had a lot of potential but also meant like putting yourself out in a way that you hadn't for a while and I think we often don't give people enough credit for like taking that leap but also like for taking the time to process the like grief and loss of so many things of like that Comfort but also of like the friendships that were stabilized through that period or location or whatever and I've been thinking about that so much because I'm you know Ryan and I will go through transitions the next couple of years and it's like I feel like I'm already starting to grieve even though like I haven't even gone into the transitions but I'm like starting to be like wow this is gonna be a lot of grieving I've lived here for nine years like I have all of these routines and yeah it's it's something that I really I'm glad seems to be talked about more than you know I mean I was I guess little before but yeah I'm glad that we're talking about this more but I feel like you have to feel it you know whether it's anger sadness whatever it is anxiousness you have to feel it and understand like we have these emotions as humans for a reason so what is it that's bringing this emotion about for you because even in a transition there can be a lot of anger it's not all about grief either and so many people get angry that they're angry and they're like oh why do I feel this way and why is it coming up for me and I'm feeling guilty for feeling angry why aren't we making best friends with anger why aren't we looking at anger and other emotions as a mirror to us to be like wow what is it that brings up the anger in me okay my boundaries were pushed okay I I ended up um you know choosing a path that I knew my intuition was telling me I should choose but why aren't we going okay anger is a barometer and it's directing me to what I need to look at from the bigger picture and all of our emotions really are that barometer of like okay if I'm feeling sadness when it comes to transition like what is it that I'm mourning and what am I looking then looking forward to creating with this next chapter of my life so I feel like it can be used in two ways like sure we we can get into that emotion and the emotions are always temporary we have to remember that it's a blip on the radar even when it feels like our darkest day when we're in it but we can look at those like all right if I'm feeling grief that means speak I'm I'm losing this great community and a lot of stability but where can I then find and then some and how can I turn this around into something that I really want instead of getting so tied into what may be scary or what may not work so I do see that it's an opportunity to really clarify our next steps and what we want and what things look like yeah um something to kind of slightly shift gears you something that you have taught me and I feel like you are very good at is having such strong boundaries and with your work one it's just an incredibly vulnerable space to be with someone it they're either you know like you said in life transition or experiencing pain or experiencing some sort of something in their life I feel like very few people kind of come for readings that are like everything is 100 perfect and like those readings aren't very funny anyway if they don't want to like change anything or work on anything so I don't know I just kind of wonder how you manage that personally and within work because I feel like that's something that everyone could use a little bit more of because day to day like everyone's emotions are so high and even just like walking in the grocery store or whatever it might be yeah you know when I'm with somebody I'm with them a thousand percent in that session it's a deep connection and channel that like I see everything that's happening and the best approach for them to make these choices so it's like I understand where they're coming from with these transitional times and these deep feelings especially just like doing this for so long it's almost like I can put the pieces together in a very organized way um and be like here like this is what's going on and this is how to to kind of um get out of it but with as far as like the boundaries go I have on a very like pragmatic level I have a very clear schedule these are the days I work these are the times I'm available um I I don't offer a schedule we're like well whatever works for you you just let me know and and we'll see how to give you like everything is very clear-cut when it comes to boundaries and I feel like that's an important starting point because if I don't have those boundaries for myself how am I supposed to teach other people about them so it's important that I'm showing up in a way of being able to offer them some some example like leading by example not just telling them what to do outside of work I try to lead a pretty normal life where I'm not trying to read people at the grocery store I'm not trying to like intervene with my friends unless they ask me for help like I want to make sure that I'm still having those boundaries where I don't have to be an open book all the time because doing readings is exhausting and if I was to do 10 readings a day I wouldn't be able to function I wouldn't be helpful for the person I'm reading it wouldn't be helpful for me so I make sure that I'm very clear about like how I can serve when I can serve how long I can serve for because I want to be good for the person that is showing up for me and I want to be the best version of myself so it's it's important also when it comes to boundaries that I'm not getting tied into the end game of the help that they need I want to be able to come in and offer them a reading that comes from a higher perspective that sees this is one lifetime of hundreds this is one experience of a billion and it's not so much about that exact event that's happening but let's look at the bigger picture too of what can we take from this what can we learn from this what can we teach from this like why is this happening and and really getting in deeper about that but for me it's not being tied into the choices that they make and the end goal because that's when intuition becomes really foggy and if you're trying to read yourself and you're like gosh I I want to like give myself a reading and I want to see like the best course of action for myself it's really hard because you're really tied into oh I hope that relationship works out or I hope I get this house or I hope I moved to this location so it's untethering what that looks like and just being present for giving them the information is part of having boundaries too because if I'm tied into their end goal they're popping up for me all the time when I'm like in the kitchen cooking some food I'm like oh I'm thinking of so-and-so and I wonder what's going on with that that is not good boundaries because that means that I'm now energetically like ported to these people where they pop up into my head and literally every 100 percent of the time they'll pop into my head and a week late within a week they'll schedule and I'm like ah we're so tied in right now it's kind of fun but it's also like I need to have those boundaries and it serves the people that I'm connecting with better when I have firm boundaries too is that hard to do when you're so when you have a session and it's so connected I would imagine it kind of feels like an episode of like a TV show that you then have to click off and never watch again potentially I had I had that's so funny you say that I am there's this woman that I studied with and someone had asked her like so what do you do after a reading to like turn it off she's like I go watch an episode of Judge Judy yeah something like I don't have cable so that's not my life but um yeah it's really interesting because like I will have these like really like profound conversations where whatever it is that comes up and the the other person's like oh my God this is like this is what I needed to hear and I will feel like I'm just like flying high but then I have to turn it off because either I have another client or whatever it is like I have to keep everything compartmentalized I can't let my mind go with like and what if this and what like I can't I can't go there so I have to like literally like shut things off and clear my energy after a session so that it's not something that I'm taking on I will find that like before like gonna be the in the morning of of doing readings a lot of stuff will come in when I don't ask for it like I'll literally be like making eggs and I'm like oh okay so we're gonna talk about her Grandpa hi Grandpa like he's here and this is like going to be a part of our conversation so I I it seems to be clicked in with like if I look at my schedule and see who's on it then information will start flowing but I'm okay with that so like that part I don't feel like I need to have like the super firm boundaries on because okay cool I'm getting information and it's going to be helpful and you know it's something that they're not asking me about yet and I could just give it to them but if it were like end of the day stuff it's just not even allowed and at this point I've been doing this for so many years that like my guides know my rules and they're not going to be like giving me stuff that I'm not cool with in the beginning yeah my boundaries sucked oh my God I was so exhausted I would do like energy work and readings and I would go home and I would sleep for hours in the afternoon because I was so tired and I didn't know how to manage my energy as soon as I realized like oh I can manage it with like an intention everything changed and I was like oh okay boundaries that's a good thing so we should all have them they're not a bad thing we all really need to have them and um the more that I can do that myself is the more that I can teach them to to the people that I'm reading because I don't want them to have to rely on me I want them to rely on their intuition after we talk and and know how to make a decision I don't want them to to feel like they have to call me every day to make a decision That's not healthy that's not serving them so I want to make sure that I leave them with like quality great information that they feel confident with yeah in regards to boundaries do you feel like just because I I do view you as like she's got it down every single every single thing I'm like there's not a boundary that's slips by but I'm like are there any parts of your life where you're just like God that one thing just keeps going and I feel like I set up a good boundary with that so my life is pretty Zen I would not say my life is perfect I don't think that exists I unless you're like the Dalai Lama I really honestly don't think that exists I feel like us as humans are always working on whatever we need to work on growing up my biggest thing was self-esteem and I just didn't have it in the choices that I made to fulfill that I think were the biggest Crux for me so like going from relationship to relationship like I always had work dialed like that was never a thing I feel like relationships was always something that was like I was hopeful for I was like dreaming for like you know really Desiring and that was on the top of my list I have such a great relationship that I can't like it's just so night and day of who I used to be and who I am now but it's come from a lot of work a lot of realizing what my patterns were realizing that I had lack of confidence and deservability like doing this work has and working with people I've learned so much about myself by giving readings like so much stuff has come in where I'm like oh my God I needed to hear this today doing this work has completely changed my life the way I view the people in my life as spiritual assignments what I can learn from them what I'm teaching them why we have the dynamic we have so I don't want to to paint everything it's like picture perfect but I don't have an area where I'm like God if I could only like you know break through from here because I've had those moments and I know what it's like to be on the other side to be like oh [ __ ] I did a lot of work and there was a lot of loneliness and there was a lot of self-loathing to get to the point where I'm at there's never a point of perfection and no one should ever think that no matter what aspect of their life they're working on that there's some level of perfection it's a level of comfortableness where you're feeling like yeah things are things are are are smooth things feel good there's always these little hiccups but I know how to navigate them now because I have more information and I realize that the things come up when it's like you know do we remodel the bathroom like this or do we remodel the bathroom like that like it's like okay what can I learn from this am I too controlling lately and I'm feeling like that's something that I need to look at of like is this giving me feedback of like I should be less controlling like I'm always asking myself this of like what what do I need to learn from this and I think that makes navigating life work finances relationship friendship so much easier when we're looking at it as like what do I need to learn from this instead of why me I used to be all about why me I'm like why is this happening to me and why do I pick the wrong people and why do I have nothing to do with that and as soon as we start getting out of that like me centered like why is this happening to me and more about you know what can I learn from this experience or this person like what emotion does it bring up in me and therefore what can I learn what does that mean that I've been bringing to the table so if I look back for example like all right I felt really insecure for so many different reasons that brought me to really dysfunctional relationships when I was young it wasn't that I'm picking the wrong person it's that my self-esteem was already taking a hit before I even met most people so those people were a match for where I was energetically emotionally and a mirror a barometer to where I was I didn't realize it at the time but as the years progressed I was like oh okay so if I'm feeling really shitty about myself I'm going to attract somebody who's also feeling pretty shitty about themselves but they may show in a different way so I showed up as like the caregiver people pleaser and I would be attracting like a narcissist so we each come from a place of insecurity but I would be able to see I can see now looking back of like oh okay so that was my mirror where I could be like oh so they're making me feel insecure they're making me feel like I'm not good enough do I bring that to the table and how so if we look at these experiences like all right we we can learn and take something from them when it comes to another human showing up in our life it takes a charge out of things and it is what is the biggest thing that inhibits or I should say that allows growth for us but we have to realize what our patterns are and how those affect the choices that we make and the people that we bring into our lives so I just have a different perspective I guess now um on on the choices that I've made and how it's led me to where I am but God don't think that like my life is perfect like it no one's is I still get irritated when my dog's like not coming back into the house and she's like screw you I'm out here I'm not coming in I'm like what do I need Ed I'm frustrated I still like I'm a human but I've learned to look at like what do I need to take away from this with a lot more awareness now so it just makes things easier I feel like that's such a hard shift to make but once you kind of start practicing and like flexing that muscle it gets easier and easier but I feel like I have a big tendency of getting into the like why me mindset and my mind just goes and goes and goes and goes and just takes like all of these stories on and I feel like I just want to say that I really appreciate that in your work you you really encourage personal responsibility which I think is sometimes not so present in the spiritual community and certain spiritual teachers and I just think that I think I feel very grateful to have been connected with you and when I first met you I was like fully flailing and still kind of am but in like a more you know aware way I guess but I feel like something I really try and embody that you also embody is like that you you get to be in the driver's seat also like you get to co-create you get to be here fully present things aren't just happening to you and then you get to be like I guess this is just my life you know like I don't know I think that's a really important component to talk about especially when we talk about spiritual things and and readings and all of that stuff but it's such a tough pill to swallow because it's so hard if we're like what do you mean like I'm creating all of this and that could go real far off the scales too when we give examples and it's not that we're saying like bring me this one big disastrous thing in my life but it's like how am I feeling uh unempowered and how does that produce all of these different things that are going on in my life so it's about recognizing like wait a minute my life has not been figured out for me from the day that I've been born to the day that I die and I think most people would agree if I said like do you think your life and every little bit and piece that you're gonna come across has already been figured out for you I would say nine times out of ten if not more people are like no because that doesn't really make sense of like how it wouldn't be figured out for me right yeah um and so if that's the case and you don't believe that it's been figured out for you that means you created but that in itself is like mind-blowing like what do you mean like it's like thinking about the universe being endless right it's like I can't even go down that road that is insane but it's true so if we're creating it anxiety about something that hasn't happened yet because we haven't created it yet how can we sit back and watch Things fall apart without going like hold up is this something that I would truly desire and do I really align with this it's easy to get into that pattern of like oh the shitstorm is happening and it's hard to like stop ourselves when when we're in the middle of it for sure but it's like wait a minute is this my belief or is this a pattern that I'm finding myself believing is this my true truth or is this something that is just continuing and I think that's a really valuable question to ask when you're in the midst of something of how do I how do I genuinely feel with this if I was rewriting um a whole movie script is this the script that I would write are these the people that would be in there would I kill them all would I keep them like what kind of what kind of movie would this be but yeah we as humans have so much more power than we've ever been taught and the more we Link in with our intuition the more we really understand the the truth and that of like this is what we get to create and of course we could talk about like Abraham Hicks and a lot of Attraction and and the nuts and bolts of manifesting but it just really comes down to asking yourself like do you believe your life has been figured out for you or do you believe that you get to figure it out or a combination of both right because we talked about like the blueprint of coming in and having an alignment of like what your purpose would be this reminds me I was just talking to my therapist last week in in therapy about the concept of like locus of control and the internal versus external locus of control the best example I think for this is like if you show up to your doctor's appointment late do you immediately default to being like oh it was the traffic oh my husband got in the way this morning or are you like well I guess I could have also just left a little bit earlier you know kind of what is your your default and I I don't think we all default one or the other but I was thinking a lot about how I think a lot of people in situations immediately go to like an internal locus of control like oh it was me it was all my fault which I think on either end of the spectrum can go to an extreme that you don't is also not true but you also don't want to um end up in or on the external of like so much externalizing the things you experience that you're not taking any personal responsibility and sometimes I think it's helpful as if I find I'm like going to one of the extremes being like okay like what what is causing me to want to either externalize this or like really blame myself for it so I think it's fascinating are you you bring up a good point because if we look at the fact that we are co-creating our life that can have in uh sometimes with some people can have this element of like oh I'm gonna control everything which brings up a lot of anxiety so there is a balance of all right I'm manifesting from a place of excitement and joy and love I'm not manifesting from Fear because that doesn't work but I'm manifesting from like this is what I truly desire and this is what resonates with me what would be coming from a fear-based place is like oh my God like I I need to make this much money or I need to have this relationship or I need to like whatever like not the want but I need need is a really scary place to come from and that is never a great place to be like oh I've got control and I I'm controlling everything that's going to be happening in my life not really you're co-creating you're not doing a hundred percent of the work because the universe still needs to come in and be like oh here's the timing of it or here's how I'm going to take you and your future partner and put you at the same place on this planet at the same time mind-blowing in itself so there's so many things that you can't control but you can control what you're truly Desiring and and what that looks like and what it feels like to have alignment when it comes to purpose or relationship or anything else so it's like getting deep in with that feeling of excitement instead of like writing your affirmations every day like if I say this affirmation then everything's gonna be great because I'm gonna fear it if it's not it so definitely a balance of control when it comes to creation and kind of letting it be sorry guys my I was like really curled up listening and I couldn't unmute fast enough um I lost I was really in that I was really listening yeah yeah I don't know I never heard that what the internal external local I remember learning about it in Psychology class and being like well this isn't relevant to my life but then when my therapist brought it up last week I was like wow this is like really interesting and cool so yeah before you know oh okay do you guys have any like wrap-up questions you we didn't cover [Music] can I just add there's a reason okay bye there's a reason why we all go through the [ __ ] we go through it always feels like there's not a reason why I would go through digit we go through when we're going through it but there are so many examples literally like endless examples that I could give about the people I've read or myself where it's like they had to go through all of these different events a lot of them traumatic to get to a point where they are serving their highest good this is tough for a lot of people to like wrap their head around when it's something that would be I mean the most traumatic of the traumatic like losing a child it's like why in the world would something like this occur and what's the benefit out of it however I have seen clients lose children and go into having a non-profit writing a book having so many different ways to teach people and really align with their purpose that would have not happened in the same way had they not gone down the same pathway so it could be as Extreme as that or just the series of relationships that we have and why we needed to meet these different people along the way to give us a better sense of who we are and we would never be where we are at this moment with the belief in ourselves or even in a certain relationship if we hadn't gone through all of those different steps so while it's easy to be like all right how do I just get to the end it's not about getting to the end it's like how do you want to pick each stepping stone to get down to that and we can work on what each stepping stone looks like and how to navigate it but getting to the end would never be the same if you didn't take all of those steps so it's going through a lot of these events that can really seem like unfair or cruel which yeah absolutely but there's always going to be something that can be the Silver Lining from that and there's so much more interweaving that happens with us as humans and souls then we can even wrap around our or wrap our heads around when it comes to the people we need to meet and the experiences we need to have with them and the losses that we experience us as humans have a really hard time of seeing anything other than like what literally happened we have to take a step back and be like how has this been something that is within my my soul growth and how is this something that I can now teach from and really Inspire other people it's easy to be like what the hell is happening today this sucks and this is hard but there's always going to be something that's a deeper experience and I don't want to say a deeper lesson because we're not here just to like learn terrible things or like have things be difficult so we learn from them it's more about these experiences that we're picking and choosing of how does this enlighten me how does this get me closer to who I'd really want to be on a soul level so it's important to look at things from that perspective as well not just the literal thing but I will tell you I have seen so many events where people were feeling the lowest of low in the time and then they realize after they've gone through it a month 10 years there's never a time period of like that Epiphany moment but they're like [ __ ] like I'm still sad about that but I can see why all of these choices were made by all of the people that were involved so yeah no one escapes Being Human like no one escapes that experience and I feel like sometimes I can I mean me personally I can get really like like I want to fight it like I want to be like I'm in it so hard like right now like there are so many unknowns and I want to fight it so hard right because I am in the mud it's confusing it's scary I feel alone like all of the things right but I know that in like six months even it's gonna be okay and then in three years I'm I'm gonna look and be like oh well that timeline actually made a lot of sense like it it makes sense like kind of where we got and where we were and I don't know I think that that perspective is one that's really hard to have but really important to be able to be like I'm gonna surrender on some level to just being this human and I have seen things change so fast for people like yeah there's this one person that sticks out for me I won't say too many details I like to keep my readings like private so I don't really say too much about them my partner doesn't even know he's like was work good I'm like yeah that was it um but there was one person who was going through a breakup and I was like I'm telling you like a year from now your life is gonna be so different that I like if I could put you in my brain right now you would be like okay I'm good like I can hold on a year from then she was um married and had a baby yes um so it was like things can like literally change so quickly that there is some comfort in that too you know that you don't have to be on a certain timeline for anything it's like how fast you want to experience this or how slow do you want to experience and do you want to be at the mercy of the universe or do you want to fight it like there's so many components about that but it's really like maintaining that line of sight of this is what I choose this is what I want to create and feeling that all the time even if you don't know what the details are of like where am I gonna live it doesn't matter just feel that feeling of like oh Comfort oh alignment like oh I love that I can you know walk to a restaurant or whatever it is like feel it even if you don't know the details of what you want to create that's okay you shouldn't know every single detail but at least feel the energy of like the excitement that comes up around it well I feel better I just think that like I'm just really really really really grateful that myself and people that I love so much have had the opportunity to have sessions with you because I think that it's a lot of like a lot of the stuff we talked about today in this pod are just like hard pills that suck to swallow but they're true and I think that it's just so I'm so grateful that like I don't know talking to you it's like these hard pills but they're presented with so much love and care and like you can do it kind of a feeling that that's how I feel right now so cool I'm really so sweet I'm really really grateful you came on I'm happy to help in any way that I can like yeah it makes me so excited to see people have those moments where it's like oh I see things differently now and it's not that I expect you know one hour to be like some life-changing thing if it is awesome that's a bonus but I hope to at least leave people with some things to think about and how to apply them so they can they can be like all right this is some area that I need to work on so whenever this comes up here's my plan of attack and leaving those with some real like actual steps in life um not just you know the Ethereal stuff but like all right and here's how we tackle with this and this this is going to come up for you this is going to be your pattern this has been your pattern since you're six years old how do we want to change this pattern here's what to do so I like the idea of of just leaving you with some things to to think about and Ponder and then let you guys run with it yeah you're really really good at that I feel like every time I go into a reading with you I'm like I know I'm I'm gonna get like a kind like reality check kind of thing slapping around yeah yeah but it's important to hear and I don't know a lot of our audiences like mid-20s and that's just like sometimes a really hard time of life where you're just like what the hell are we doing here you guys every day is a kind spanking in your 20s yes yeah we're all trying to figure [ __ ] out yeah I don't care what your age is we're all dealing with insecurities number one period questioning our self-esteem questioning are we good enough and we find that through like does does work see what I'm doing does my boss like me is is this is this guy like orbiting is he gonna come back does he like me like we always have these insecurities about who we are and who we hope to be no one's escaping that I haven't I have done thousands of readings and I have yet to have one person that has their self-esteem completely figured out I don't know if that exists I think we all have these outside sources that are bringing us these like insecurities but I would say that you know no one's exempt from having these questions when it comes to Transitions when it comes to anything and especially when it comes to these the feelings of like deservability that's at the core of seriously like everything that we could possibly talk about topic wise is coming back to like how do I feel about myself do I feel like I deserve it do I feel like I'm capable do I feel like I'm confident do I feel like I can can have this do I feel like I matter some really valuable questions for your listeners to be asking themselves because that is at the root of your finances the job you will attract the partner you will attract your health it all comes down to like how do I feel about myself and what decisions am I making that I believe that I truly deserve it's also like that's a journey right like I remember like years and years ago like you could write down 500 times I deserve this but that honestly doesn't really mean [ __ ] if you don't like actually feel it and how do you apply it yeah and I feel like recently there's been some things in my life where I'm like a switch like flicked on where I was like I've been like working on this telling myself this thing for so long and now all of a sudden I'm embodying it and it's like I'm gonna say no to that in order to say no to that and I'm gonna say none of that and I don't feel bad whereas even six months ago I would have been like in a shame spiral about it and it's so that that transition happened because I experienced all of those things like it wouldn't have happened if I just again wrote it down 500 times and like oh I choose to believe this now like we're good to go no it took like brutal experiences sometimes but you're also reaffirming your boundaries your deservability your choices by literally like every choice you're making during the day is a part of your behavioral pattern so it's important to take a step back when you're engaging with somebody or you have a decision to make and be like what is the best course of action like let me pause so if you don't know how to have a go-to reaction that's okay but at least have a go-to pause where you can really look at that moment and have some clarity about do I want to turn left or do I turn right like which one's best serving me so if you're trying to work on boundaries instead of saying yes and if you don't feel like you can say no just say like I'll get back to you and that could be your answer so it gives you a little bit of breathing room and some space where you don't feel like you have to commit to something half the time it just falls apart anyway and you don't really have to do much but it just gives you the opportunity to be like hey I I just need a moment and then it gives you a chance to like have the words that you want to use instead of being like uh yes or no it could be like hey so I'm trying this new thing where I'm trying to have more boundaries and I'm wondering maybe you could help me with that when you ask someone can you help me with this they're gonna be like hell yeah so if you're like I'm really working on my boundaries would you mind if I they'd be like yeah yeah let me help you so give it a pause think about how you want to like verbalize your response to the people around you no matter what it is that pause will be very valuable for you I love that um okay where can people find you where can people book with you so they can find me online I make a book online with me my calendar is up there it's amyconnor.net and I offer 30 60 90 minute readings I say the hours kind of a good option for people 30 minutes is more of like a follow-up and I also offer life coaching sessions for people that need a little more length and a little more information over a longer period of time so they can find that all online we highly highly recommend Amy you're the only person I will um give your information out to people ask me all the time and I literally only am like Amy only so that is um you're my go-to oh thank you yeah I don't know thank you so much for coming on and talking about all these things that sometimes feel so sticky and so hard in the moment Laura's so right that you have a way of being like you know it's sticky right now and you can do it and you can do the hard work but it will be okay and I don't know I just really appreciate you and all that you do and for me and also just for everyone so thank you for coming on I appreciate you guys thank you oh so fun yay okay um any closing words guys can I have a closing word yes yeah of course Mallory yeah um you have baby energy around you crying right now around someone it means that there's a spirit that wants to come in whether you want to or not try right now so um um yeah and I've gotten that quite a few times over the years um and like literally every time someone's gonna have pregnancy there's that um I have to go so this is funny timing huh you need to see your mind did she just predict something yes Ryan yes yeah oh so um yeah it's interesting because like if I look at like the timeline of when people give me feedback and they're like oh my God I got pregnant like it's always I don't know within like maybe six months at the most it's pretty quick yeah I had a woman who um I told I was like you're gonna get pregnant she's like I don't want to get pregnant I'm like well you better figure something out and um she ended up getting pregnant and I was like okay good precaution was taken Under the Sun and yeah it was so so wild this is music to our ears we're yeah okay now he's also getting married now you're poker face right now I'm just processing right now you know it's just so funny like it's so funny that you say this Amy I mean obviously you're great at your church these are like conversations Brian and I are have been having so much recently so this feels very timely that you would say this yeah it's hanging out yeah it's like I'm here at a party yeah well Ryan and I will have a deep break after this hell yeah that's perfect I love that congratulations okay all right [Laughter] all right and okay all right she's beautiful oh my God I'm gonna die

Channel: F*ck Wellness

Views: 7,072

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Id: 4gTiaoLWpBA

Length: 66min 35sec (3995 seconds)

Published: Wed Apr 05 2023