Entry level interviews be like...

hey so Zack I pronounced that correctly yeah now I see here under programming languages you put Python did you put that because you heard about it once in passing or because you're an expert well neither I don't follow I mean I took one intro to Python programming course that was probably four months long I would say four months that's eight years [Music] okay so you're very well qualified we can use you for some of our more advanced project no no I really like only know the bass honestly a lot of people here really don't know how to use Python listens you've been using it for 40 years we could definitely start trying don't let the really understanding okay so you listed Microsoft Excel how experienced would you say you are with that I mean I've used it before so I put it on my resume okay wow so you're a pro no I okay I don't think you're totally hear anything about me is I can recognize confidence and expertise so I got I'm picking up don't think you honestly we don't use Excel that much and by that I mean that's all you'll be doing but since we have the creator of Microsoft Excel in the building I think you put to good use and just to prove your expertise I'm gonna need you to hack the Pentagon using only Microsoft Excel on the cellphone and don't worry you'll have plenty of time because you get till I finish eating this peanut well like I was saying I really don't have that much if you're done okay you tell me why why we should hire you over everyone else wow that is a fun one all right and commence sounding like a cocky douchebag now if you had to pick what would you say your biggest weaknesses and then after you answer that tell me why should we hire you when we don't hire the weak where do you see yourself in ten minutes so what's with this 20-year gap in your work history well I was born and that was pretty tough to get a job for a while after that mm-hmm well okay overlook that for now but if you do get hired we're gonna need more of a go-getter attitude what would you do if you caught someone stealing a pencil from work well if it's just a pencil I probably wouldn't do much okay so you're cool with crime as long as it's something small fun I guess I would tell my manager oh you're a snitch hey guys you said you would snitch on the pencil question sir what's your say man I've got a pen don't call the cops yeah don't worry about them you're doing fine what do you hope to accomplish in the first 30 days of job two paychecks and do you have any questions for me yeah so if I'm hired what kind of stuff will I be doing specifically oh yeah if you're hired here you will definitely be doing specific stuff and things in fact have you seen videos of those futuristic robots doing parkour and all that yeah me too aren't those cool god be fun to work on those oh and when are you available to start where it says you have no internship experience how do you expect to get a job if you've never had a job okay so you have listened a few programming languages here but I'm gonna fire off just some others that we also use and require some proficiency in so as I list them just let me know if you've heard it starting with basic basic Java JavaScript Ruby PHP HTML CSS C C++ C sharp d sharp G flat ascending C natural minor scale Beethoven's Symphony number nine and D minor okay isn't that music yeah that is what most amateur programmers say no Beethoven symphony number nine and D minor is actually a new and pretty exciting programming language you use here that's okay we'll just keep going what about oh say can you see plus plus maybe Fortran five trend my infinite loop will go on two girls one compiler knick-knack paddywhack give that dog some code you've never programmed and can't stop won't stop can't you see it's we who own the night script Stacy syntax has got it going on I wish that I had Jessie's github profile we're gonna need a bigger terminal Linux I am your father you seriously never programmed No okay well I guess just because every other applicant has sort of all those and you haven't doesn't mean we won't hire you so let's just keep going okay now these next questions are a little strange but we asked them and just answer the best you can all right so let's say you're shrunken down to the size of a nickel and thrown into a blender oh okay um well I guess I would try to and then you get duct tape to that blender which then vacuum-sealed from up top and put into a rocket that's on autopilot going towards a black hole all will ask this filling up from the bottom of that blender so to recap the rocket to light and then you're all like oh no but I'm stuck in the blender oh but the acid and it's got pull throws we'd like to see how you handle tough situations all right under hardware you put a sillas cope did you invent it no just wasn't sure why you put it there maybe should be specific oh my god now on top of what you've put here we have some hardware you should be decently familiar with so I'm just gonna fire off some of their names you let me know when you hear one you're familiar with sound good oh please don't okay have you used a wok of Flocka spectrum analyzer what about a shake and bake back of Thor's hammer hydraulic press a Dunkin Donuts double oven how about a baby back ball-peen hammer of Vicks VapoRub vacuum a Captain Crunch current clamp have you calibrated a duo chain hang low sensor it's the one that measures the distance from the floor - yo chain and dokdo meters oh yeah I have use that one oh dude that's like all we use here really oh yeah you are very well qualified Thank You Noah I think there's we're good here I'm gonna go talk to some of the other guys and let you know our decision and like a week okay awesome and whether or not I got the job will you guys let me know either way yeah yeah either way we're gonna let you know but it's looking promising so it was nice meeting you and we'll talk real soon you you hello hey you didn't get the job yeah I figured yeah we just decided to go a different direction but I just want to say no hard feelings as you may have heard there were several layoffs at the company recently yeah you unemployed thousands ah but it was random and fair see all these students are coming in thinking if they just know a little calculus they're qualified to work here but you see this company's finite and its budget is finite but now our checkbook is balanced as all things should be I mean do you know how many resumes I had to go through don't care fourteen million six hundred and five how many people we got to pick one still don't care but hey if you're still looking I'm happy to pass your resume around you know after losing several of my friends and my fiancee I'm not too worried about having a job right now wait you were gonna get married yeah I just not see the invitation you weren't invited what I thought we were boys no I mean we shared some pretty intimate stuff that day no we didn't okay maybe you don't remember but I definitely do the day started with you telling me a little something about yourself you told me your future goals you told me not only your strengths but your weaknesses you were vulnerable with me oh you told me that sad story about that angry or irate customer you had to deal with and three things you did to resolve it none of that was by choice honestly I kind of liked the idea of you being my employee with benefits are you done all the applicants love a big benefits package uh-huh you know I never told anyone this but I always felt like I was duct-taped to a blender of loneliness and you were the first one to give me tangible advice to get out of that blender Oh stupidest thing I've ever heard sure maybe I did interview other people after you walked out but I was just being shallow judging people by how the resumes looked and not how they made me feel what can I say I'm a guy who likes a nice pair of titled columns to separate work from school experience but that's the old me okay that's funny right you know when I was younger I could walk on to just any college campus even in my work attire and there would be a line of men and women literally waiting to talk to me that was the career fair but things change people change can't go back but we always have the memories do you even know how you're going to end this video don't do it

Channel: Zach Star Himself

Views: 2,041,674

Keywords: zach star, zach star himself, entry level interviews, interviews be like, technical interviews, interview sketch, interview comedy sketch, entry level interviews be like, endgame parody

Id: bEIsDATUCy0

Length: 10min 30sec (630 seconds)

Published: Sun May 03 2020