This show is sponsored
by BetterHelp Online Therapy. Visit betterhealth.com/padilla
because sometimes existing is exhausting. My name is Anthony Padilla
and today I'll be spending a day with home invasion survivors
to uncover what living through such a terrifying and violating event
is really like. By the end of this video,
we'll find out how a split-second reaction prevented a shotgun from being fired
directly into someone's face, what the healing process is like
for a 12-year-old who was shot in the head,
only to witness the brutal murder of his family
before his house was burned down with him inside it,
and how having a home intruded by a hostile crazed fan with a gun
and a death wish affects every moment of life moving forward. Have these survivors been able
to move past these agonizing events in order to successfully reclaim
their lives or has this trauma propelled them
into a life of incessant paranoia and fear even within the confines
of their own home? Hello, RJ. Hey, Anthony, how are you doing? -Gavin?
-Hello. -Cash.
-Hi, Anthony. How are you? Can you give us a brief synopsis
of what happened? Back in February of 2019,
we had just gotten home from a date. I was in the kitchen. It was around 1:00 AM
and, boom, my door swings open. Guy barges in with a loaded shotgun
and a plastic bag -and starts making demands.
-It was the beginning of 2018. here was a home invasion by someone
who knew of me and my online presence. He just decided that I should die
that particular day and broke into my house and tried it. I was 12 years old.
It was April 14th, 2002. It was about 5:30 in the morning. A friend of my families came into my house and ended up murdering my family and attacking me
and setting my house on fire. Before the invasion, did you have any sense
that something was off? I had a genuine sort of overall fear
that it might happen. I had that fear for years. I had no sense that anything was imminent. No, not at all. Beforehand,
there wasn't any kind of indicator that anything was amiss
or that we were going to have any kind of altercation that night. Before the invasion actually happened,
two days prior to that, my dad had warned me
that my mom and himself were robbed at gunpoint for selling drugs and cash,
and the guy who robbed them was a family friend. My dad told me two days before,
he's like, "Something's fishy. Something's going on.” My family
was on high alert at that moment. Are you comfortable explaining
what led up to the home invasion and what actually occurred? As I'm in the kitchen, boom,
my door swings open, a gentleman wearing a mask and gloves. Oh, a gentleman.
Not an intruder. A gentleman. [laughter] -He's bracing a 12 gauge
and he swings it around from my fiancée back towards me
and immediately starts yelling commands. Get down, motherfucker. Right now.
Get the fuck down. I take about maybe a millisecond,
two milliseconds to size him up and I decide I'm going for it. I grabbed a barrel of the shotgun
and threw it up as far as I could towards the ceiling and as back as I could
away from everybody. As soon as I did that,
he was completely taken off guard. There was about a half a second there
where he could have gone ahead and just wasted me. If he would have pulled the trigger,
it was guts all over the wall for me. I kind of kicked him in his knee
and swept his leg out from under him and both of us went to the ground. I just have both my arms
bear hugging the shotgun. He picks me up with a shotgun
and starts making a break for the door. Well, as soon as he gets to the stairs,
they're all icy and wet and he slipped. As soon as he did, I had the shotgun. I did hit him in the head two times
with a shotgun, forced him outside the door physically
and slammed it shut. Within maybe 30 seconds,
he's back at the door. I go ahead and open the door
and ask him what he wants. He says he wants his shotgun back
and he'll go away. I had his weapon
so I knew he wasn't going to do anything. He starts telling us if we just give him
the shotgun back that he'll go away and never come back again. I tell him I'm not giving him
the shotgun back. He says he's calling the police. -I tell him, "No, I'm calling the police."
-Wait. This guy that invaded you
threatened you with police? Yes. I say,
"I'm calling the police, motherfucker.” I'm standing
at the top of the stairs with it with the gun in my hand. The police actually arrived and he had already left my front door
at this point. Then the cops bust in the door again
in full SWAT gear with guns pointed at us and we both tried to explain to them
in a very anxiety-ridden way what's just occurred
and then they told me right after that, "Well, we actually have that guy. We just found him right around the block
sitting in his vehicle and don't worry about it,
he's going to jail." He decided that 3:00 AM
he was just going to break in. He tried to get in for a while quietly,
in the end gave up on that and actually just shot
the back door window, so we both woke up, minor discussion about what the noise was. It was enough for me to be like.
"We cannot investigate this.” We have to check
the security system first, just saw someone walking through the house
with a gun. I immediately called 911. We just decided it wasn't safe
to try and get out. We thought
we could potentially just buy some time just by being quiet. We moved into the closet,
lots of clothes in there, so I thought
that's the most soundproof place set, focused on the entrance. I was trying to hope that I had
the advantage in that I was ready for when he would come in
and he potentially wouldn't know whether I was going to be in there. I think in the moment my plan
was to blindside him somehow, maybe get the jump on him as he came in,
and hopefully wrestle the gun off him or just try and beat him to death
with something that was in there. I just felt like, "This is it,
and I'm going to have to try and fight," and that was just a really rough feeling
of helplessness and constant adrenaline in my heart beating so fast. I could feel it in my ears. I've never felt anything like it. It didn't feel right to be a robbery. I was 100% convinced
that it was definitely a targeted attack. The guy I think had given up. I think he thought his time was up,
decided to leave and it was as he was leaving
that the police arrived. It turns out that the guy had
almost immediately himself in the head, trajectory of the bullet
went actually towards the police who then opened fire back. From that point on,
it was a load of gunshots. Just sound like a full-on gun fight. We learned some stuff
from the notes left on his phone, someone
with a mental illness just decided, based on the voices in his head,
he needed to come and take care of this situation. The main goal was that he wanted me
to die alone without children, bought a gun,
came all the way from New Mexico, just spent the entire day
trying to kill me. Damn. He couldn't find me for most of that day. He was just like trying to hunt me down,
I was completely oblivious, just like fluking my way through this day. I think I was having meetings elsewhere,
I wasn't where he thought I was going to be,
and eventually just waited for me to be asleep in my house. April 14th, 2002,
I was sleeping on living room couch, I wake up to a knock on the door. My dad he opened the door
to a family friend, his name was Marky. Apparently, two nights before that,
he robbed my family. I wake up a little bit, I'm like,
"He's here, so he must be bringing back the money
or the drugs or whatever he took.” My dad starts walking to the kitchen
and I just keep hearing Marky say, "Where's Joanna at?
Where's Crystal at? Where's LJ at?" Once my dad finally got him into the kitchen, thinking
that he's going to probably give him the money back or the drugs. Then at some point, I just see Marky
lift up out of his shirt a gun, I heard two gunshots
and then I heard my dad hit the ground. That moment I sat up on the couch. Marky's walking straight towards me,
points the gun right into my head, and I able to turn my hand
in front of my head in time. He shoots, and it goes through my hand. I have like a bullet hole and stuff
through my hand. Went through my ear
into the back of my head, and then I have a scar back here,
and I just instantly collapsed onto the couch and I just lay there. I could just smell gunpowder. It was a giant flash of bright light
right in my face, the biggest ringing sound ever. As I'm landing, I see him walk
into my mom's bedroom and I hear a gunshot in there,
and then as I'm still laying there, he comes out into the living room again,
the back of the bedroom where my sister comes out of. He shot her,
so and then she hit the ground and I got up, and I'm still dazed. At this point,
he must have grabbed a knife, then he comes up behind me, grabs me,
I could feel like the jaggedness of the blade like go across my neck,
and it just felt like warmness go down. It started bleeding at that moment,
and then I have these scars on my neck where I just went,
he cut me in with my lip, stabbed me in my arm,
I have a stab wound here and he stabbed me in my back as well. At that point,
I just felt like I was done for, so I just collapsed on the ground
and just stayed there. I could hear my sister calling out my name
just asking me if I was okay and I wasn't trying to say anything
because I didn't want to get acknowledged. I didn't want anything to happen to us. He must have saw that I was moving,
kicked me a couple of times in the head. Eventually,
he put a blanket over top of me. I passed out at that moment,
and I wake up to crackling, and there's smoke all through the house,
and half of my house is already on fire. I got to get out of here, there's no time,
the flames by the door, and eventually I was able
to get the door unlocked. I was able to stumble out
and I fell off the porch, crawling my way to my driveway. In that point, I just laid there. It was freezing cold,
but I'm drenched in blood, but I can feel the heat of the fire,
I'd call in for help. My voice is raspy and then eventually
I remember my neighbor. They saw my house on fire,
so they came running down and I remember the ambulance coming,
putting me in, everyone just kept asking me who did it. I told them,
I remember the helicopter ride to the hospital and not remember
waking up two days later in the hospital after two surgeries. What were you thinking? What was going on through your mind
knowing that your family members were harmed and probably dead
and there was a fire, your home, everything that you had ever known
was being destroyed right then? As a 12 year old boy, I was like,
"This can't be happening. I cannot believe that everything
is being taken away at this moment and these are my final few seconds
that I have.” I thought it was over at that moment. Did you know that your family was killed
in that moment? The moment it happened,
I knew there was no chance. As I was getting out of the house,
I knew there was no chance of getting back in to get them out. Something woke me up at that exact moment
to get me out of that house. I was grateful that it happened. -Did you know this invader?
-No. I didn't know him personally. A friend of this intruder had
some kind of beef with my roommate's friend. I'd never had
any interaction with this person. I even went back
and looked through tweets. I was like, "Did I ever have
like a online altercation with this person?”
and I couldn't find any trace that I'd ever said
a single thing to this person. When did you eventually find out
the intruder's motives? Days, maybe even like a week later
after the police had done more investigation,
like got into his devices, searched his home,
that he wrote so much stuff down about doing this. I try not to look too far into it
because the guy clearly just needed so much help. I feel like a lot of people have dealt
with someone hating them online or even someone in their life, or like,
why does this person not like me? This makes no sense,
but for this to be someone that has never met you,
that has beyond pure hate for you, how is that for you to process
and acknowledge that this is like a thing that exists out there,
but unbeknownst to you? It was one of the most disturbing parts
about it because it could just happen to anyone at any point. How did your life change immediately
following that? After it happened, I really had,
I just really debated, like, is it worth continuing to have
this on-camera personality? I would happily go back in time,
never have been on camera just to have not gone through that. Everything just feels numb in comparison
to how it did. I just do have bad days
where I'm just still freaking out over the possibility
and all of the unknowns in life. I think I just had to come to terms
with the fact that you can try and take more control
over stuff in your life. This was just a big reminder of the fact
that you're not really in control -of anything at any point.
-I knew I lost my family. I knew that they were gone.
I was sent to foster care. I was in witness protection at that time. I wasn't even allowed to talk about it. I had to say I was in a car accident,
I had no one knew who I was and I had all the friends who I'm telling,
my name's RJ, well, my real name's LJ. It was just surreal because I was starting
a whole new life with a fake name. I literally started living
that second life right away and I just had to keep moving forward
and couldn't let it show, I had to just keep being
a different person than I was. Would you say that it helped you
or cause you more harm by repressing those emotions? I think in a way it did help me. I feel like if I would have stayed
where I was, yes. I would've been in good care
with my family, but I don't think I would've been able
to cope living that life right away. I feel like every conversation
would've been about what actually happened or anything like that. I think it was actually probably good
for me to get up, uproot it and live a different life. They tried to remove the bullet
from your head, two different surgeries? -Two different surgeries. They tried back to back,
couldn't get it out and they said, scar tissue should build around it,
but eventually it moved. Now, it migrated a few years later,
and now it's in my lower back. I'm supposed
to get surgery to get it removed. You have a scar on your head
because they try to take it out of your head
and now you're going to have a scar on your lower back for the same bullet. -Yes.
-How has your life changed most -overall now?
-Pretty much everyone here saw it and that did help because now no one wants
to mess with me at all. That's one way to get street cred. It did certainly keep people,
wards them off from trying again. I'm going to be real honest. I probably would not be as well off
as I am now if it didn't happen. My family was going through tough times
at that moment and I just feel like we would've had a hard time
getting out of it, and I just feel like where I'm from
it's just such a bad environment. How did this experience
affect your mental health? Is it something
that's just like always there? It's a big part of it. There's physically very little
that happened. It's just the weird mental scarring. To be honest, I just learned
a lot of stuff about how the brain works. To actually have PTSD, I guess,
in my head, I always picture soldiers, people fighting for their country
and stuff coming away with that. The fact that I was in my house feels
a bit lame in a way. I have PTSD. I just walk away constantly feeling
all these weird emotions. Mainly just so thankful
and in disbelief of how lucky we got. I do have PTSD and high anxiety sometimes. My PTSD does not prohibit me
from doing things, but I'm always on edge or high alert
just expecting anything to happen at any moment. I don't like being grabbed or anything.
Friends are all buddy-buddy. They hit you or push you around or stuff. That stuff, I don't like that stuff. What were the charges
that they eventually gave him? He spent six days in the ICU
before he landed himself in the psych ward and then in prison after they did prove him
fit to stand for trial. Then he served, I think,
two years in prison. -He just got paroled.
-He was one second away from absolutely obliterating you and yet because he didn't,
because you stood your ground and you held that weapon in a way
that kept you and your fiancée safe, -he only got two years.
-That's our penal system. Not only that,
but this is not his first burglary event. He actually had a prior home invasion
with an armed weapon as well. This is a reoccurring theme for him,
so to speak. He was sentenced
with the accounts of my dad, my mom, my sister,
and they accounted my sister's baby because it was old enough,
so he had four counts of murder. He pretty much admitted to it
after the police caught him two days later, and then he took it back
and said it wasn't him and that they forced him
to say that it was him. I had to do a preliminary hearing
a couple of months right after it all happened. I went in to testify in court. I actually had to tell
my whole story right then, actually. That was my first time
publicly speaking about it. How was that being forced
to speak about it and see the assailant who murdered your family, attacked you,
burned down your house right there in the same room
as you as you recounted all of this? It was very scary and nerve-wracking
to have to tell it step by step actually what happened for the jury
to make a sentencing. He was going to be sentenced to death. It was January 11th at that time. I just remember getting so emotional
and I just started crying right then because I didn't want this guy
to die either. He had a kid that I would like for his kid
to be able to see him at some point in his life compared to me
who never got that chance. A group of attorneys contacted me
and said, "We have a chance to potentially helping Mark Edwards
get off death row if you're willing to help.” He would have no chance
of walking the streets. He would be life in prison. I said, "I'd be willing to help.”
Everything just started working out. The life in prison thing worked out. Do you hold resentment
toward the intruder or have you found some part of you that forgives them? Before we continue learning
about the world of surviving -a home invasion.
-It's tough. In almost every aspect,
this person has ruined, it feels like he's ruined my life. I wanted to thank all of you
for being the most wholesome community I have ever seen on YouTube. I feel like you guys
just don't get enough appreciation for just how supportive
your comments tend to be. I feel like that is what makes the guests
in this series feel so comfortable talking about such deeply personal topics
in such a vulnerable way. I really appreciate it. I'd also like to thank BetterHelp
for their continued partnership. If you've been watching me
for any amount of time, you know that therapy
has been really instrumental in shaping who I am today by allowing me
to have empathy for my younger self and therefore,
understand my current self better, but therapy can be customized
to whatever is right for you and can be useful in providing tools
to help with motivation, or feelings of depression, anxiety,
stress, insecurity, or whatever else you might need. BetterHelp has been continuing
to improve throughout the years and screens all therapists to ensure
that they have experience and that they're licensed and certified
and provides customized therapy that offers video, phone,
and even live chat sessions with your therapist
so you don't have to see anyone or speak over the phone
if that's not something that you're comfortable with. As I'm sure many of you
have found out by now, therapy can be expensive
and the price of finding a therapist that you like and actually connect with
can be daunting, which is why BetterHelp offers
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where you can start communicating with your therapist in less than 48 hours. Thank you to BetterHelp who are giving
I Spent A Day With viewers and listeners 10% off their first month
at betterhelp.com/padilla. That's betterH-E-L-P.com/padilla. Now back to the world of surviving
a home invasion. Do you hold old resentment
toward the intruder or have you found some part of you that forgives them? It's tough.
In almost every aspect, this person has ruined-- Well, no,
it feels like he's ruined my life. I don't feel anger really. I just feel like it's something
I have to deal with now. I really feel a lot less towards him
than you might think. It just feels
more of like an unfortunate event. Most people that experience something
like that with one person that they can clearly pin
all of their pain on that clearly wanted to do nothing
but cause harm, destroyed your family, destroyed your home, your life,
I don't think most people would forgive this person. Why do you forgive this person? Forgiveness is a very powerful tool,
but I would rather show him mercy and to show him something
that he could not show me. Maybe that will save him
or maybe make an impact on someone else's life. My main thing
was me being a 12-year-old boy, I lost my family
and didn't want his son to go through what I did if his dad were to die. I helped try to get him off of death row
and into life in prison. Now, hopefully, his son can see him. Maybe not be the perfect scenario,
but at least he has contact with him. Many people say that owning a gun
is the best or only way to defend yourself
in situations like this. How true do you think
that was for your situation? Great to have as a last resort,
but I feel like you still want to do everything possible
to avoid that aspect. I got to say you got to prioritize
getting out or hiding. Not at all true.
I think you need to be fluent and capable of hand-to-hand combat because I have many guns in my home,
but when someone is already pointing a gun at you,
you do not have any time at all even if your gun
is on your hip to draw it. That's going to be indication to them
that you're about to cause them harm and they're going to shoot you. My dad had a gun at that moment,
but unless you have it on you at all times,
you're not going to be prepared. You can have it in a lockbox,
but when someone comes in your house, you're going to, wait,
let me go to the lockbox. Let me get this out real quick. -Right. Hold on, sir.
-Right. Yes. It's not going to be like that. Do you have any advice for anyone
watching to better prepare themselves? Just don't have
too much information out there. It's a little bit
sort of a doomsday mindset, but it's something to think about
when you're deciding on what you think people should know about you
and what you want to keep to yourself. You just never know who's out there. If anyone watching
has also survived a home invasion, is there anything
that you would want to say to them? To me, one of the biggest helps
was just coming to terms with the fact that you have to relinquish control
over certain things in your life. You're never going to be fully in control
and you can't just worry every day. -It's just a bad quality of life.
-Don't be afraid to ask for help. People thought I was weird
for going to see a psychiatrist, because there were a lot of things
I didn't realize that were going on in my head until my therapist
explained them to me like, "This is why you're doing this.
You're trying to protect yourself." A lot of these things
that we're not taught could help us relating to the way that we think
or defense mechanisms that we might have that,
walls that we put up to protect ourselves. We're not really taught to look
for those things or understand them. -Yes.
-All right, you got five seconds to shout out or promote anything you want
directly into camera. Go. Please feel free to check out my music
on cashhighmusic.com. If you want to see me
in a much less emotional environment, I make stuff slow for a living
@The Slow Mo Guys on YouTube. I just want to thank my family
and my brother, David, and my parents and all my friends and family. I'm very thankful to Anthony Padilla
for giving me a space to share my story. Make sure you subscribe below
for more extremely interesting stories. Well, there you have it. I spent a day with home invasion survivors
and I feel like I understand just how unpredictable
these types of invasions can really be. I commend everyone in this video
for having the strength to speak about their experiences
for millions of people to potentially learn from
and apply to their lives. While it's absolutely important
to be prepared and cautious of dangers, it's just as important to value
each and every moment in our lives without the grips of fear
controlling our entire psyche. [music] If you want to find more of me,
The Slow Mo Guys on YouTube. It's where I make everything slow. [laughter] Sorry.
Could I do it again? Let me just say [?]. It does feel like a hard change in tone,
doesn't it? -A little bit.
-I can potentially transition it maybe a bit better than that.
