How To Be Charming Without Trying

chris evans is incredibly charming he's an interesting combination of kind funny and humble so people really come up to you and say wait a second oh yeah i've accepted the fact that i'm a huge physical disappointment in reality that's just the way my life is so in this video we'll go through four habits you can steal from chris that will help you to be charming in any conversation and because chris's charisma is so nice we'll also go over a few nuances around flirting so you can create attraction as more than just a friend let's start with a couple of chris's body language tricks the first is to speak through a smile this is a simple yet powerful way to influence how people perceive you here's a quick example where chris gets asked about a super bowl after party do you meet tom did you get to touch him because i know you said last time you were there you said you didn't oh no i have yet to meet him he didn't go to the other i mean he might have made an appearance but he you know cut out he had to go rule the world uh i i didn't meet tom the key to a genuine smile is to smile with your eyes when speaking through a smile you'll likely notice a natural uptick in energy and movement as well here's another example where chris is reacting to his avengers clip on seth meyers notice when seth and the audience laugh chris's words aren't especially funny but he primes them with his smile eyes and tone all right that's i don't know much about it i mean i i have one line in the clip like typically when you come to a thing like this you bring something to showcase whatever yeah but they they sent me the clip and i was like is this what i'm bringing when people first try to build this habit they make a common mistake of thinking you have to speak through a smile all the time but the charm comes from being emotionally expressive not from plastering a smile on 24 7. for example watch chris talk about avengers end game and notice how he starts serious before ending by speaking through a smile the the secret the the scripts are so uh lock and key um but they had given me the scene where where i passed the shield to mackie oh it's so nice to be able to say that it doesn't have to be it's like therapy i want you to lay down on the couch just be honest talk about the marvel of secrets some people worry that their smile will come off as fake and that's a great point to consider while speaking through a genuine smile instantly makes you more charming if the smile seems fake it'll have the opposite effect so don't try to put your biggest grin on for every conversation instead try to guide the conversation to things that genuinely make you smile or laugh the second body language trick you can steal from chris is to own the space around you the most basic way to do this is to use your hands when you speak and chris is fantastic at this but beyond that chris does something you can steal to be charming even when you're not the one speaking he takes up space when he laughs here's an example during an avengers interview hearing the end of your contract and a lot of people are actually legitimately concerned and they want to hear what he could possibly just back to cleaning breast pumps um if you watch most people in social situations they look very spatially constrained it's like they have an invisible box around them that they're scared to cross over this subconsciously communicates to other people that you're nervous to draw attention to yourself which instantly hurts how confident and attractive you look this doesn't mean you have to man spread to assert dominance or anything weird like that this simple act of taking up space when you laugh by throwing your head back or putting your hand on someone's shoulder is enough to show you're comfortable owning the space around you here's another quick example you bring new aspects to him and with with captain america it's like as we've seen [Laughter] here's one more quick example notice the leg touch and side lean and then you know we see captain america evolving into his leadership role but we also see you evolving like more and more as we see more on screen owning the role right in all three clips you also saw chris gives a small tagging touch to the person who made him laugh these little platonic touches on the leg or arm are great in almost any situation they're especially important in flirting because they let you calibrate your touch if someone isn't comfortable with a touch on the shoulder you know they won't be comfortable with you leaning in for a kiss in addition to gauging comfort levels going from a shoulder touch to a knee touch to an arm around the shoulder while you walk is an easy way to build increased physical comfort with someone this is nice because even if a date went really well it can feel awkward to lean in for a kiss if you spent the entire date with an invisible force field separating you one side note about laughter in general and specifically when flirting don't try to force a big laugh at everything the person says one of the cringiest flirting mistakes is to pretend that everything someone says is hilarious or fascinating that fakeness will be a big turn off to most people how did that happen because it's cold out yes yes this spit nipply out i mean nippy out what did i say nipple there is a nip in the air though okay so now let's talk about what to say whether you're flirting or just having a conversation with a potential friend most people have one of two strategies one is to tease the other person and give them a hard time hoping to make them laugh the other is to be kind and complimentary all the time hoping to make them feel good the problem that most people run into is that if you only tease you can come off as a jerk or even just someone trying too hard to entertain people and if you're nothing but kind you run the risk of being boring or in the case of flirting being put in the friend zone what's unique about chris is that he's comfortable bouncing back and forth between kind compliments and playful teases this is often referred to as push pull here's two quick clips so you can see how chris balances the two in the first he's playing a game where he's meant to guess which avengers cast member the photo is of what you got hemsworth [Music] in this next clip chris is talking about which other famous chris's he gets confused for in public no i get proud i get i never get hurt which is really upsetting please think i'm hemsworth please look at that chris hemsworth is great at push-pull as well watch him go back and forth in this next clip while talking about captain america what is it you like about him just the fact that it's kind of boring and predictable he's just kind of i just wanted to hurt you i love you by the way he's my favorite character by bouncing between the two instead of just doing one or the other you make yourself less predictable which makes you more fun to talk to you basically get the upside of both strategies and the downside of neither it also makes you more attractive especially if the person you're flirting with is someone who's used to people only pulling on them with a lot of compliments or flattery those are the people who are most likely to enjoy being playfully teased but like everything else calibrate this to the individual person also since chris and chris are just platonic friends here are a few examples of more flirtatious push-pull do you like this one i really like the dress for you no it's really very very sexy it's got a kind of coarsity feel and then is that a oh it's a microphone all right rosemarie's pizza do you go there no i don't i don't where do we go i have a gluten allergy so i can't really eat you have a gluten allergy that's so unusual to hear from an actress no it's for real freaking me out i'm putting spells on you yeah you've already done that you did that when you did the knee that's right you see me move back like that yeah yeah crawling away no distance is hurting me no it's listen it has to be fair enough no no i'll just lean i i thought you were very sexy the first time i came on i did and then i found out you were sober and i was like oh forget the it thing we'll touch on is a mindset that will help you to make a better impression and feel more confident in conversation whether talking to a friend boss or person they're attracted to most people try to present themselves as perfectly as they can and hide their flaws because of this they become nervous about how they are being perceived by contrast watch chris talk about his past work do you ever find yourself in a situation where you have to go ask people to come see a movie that you don't like well yeah if anyone yeah i mean if you you can look at my mdb page to know that that's rather than being nervous about how he's perceived as an actor chris just owns the fact that he's been in some bad movies here's another quick example of him talking about skydiving when i was when i was i did it once when i was 20 and it was great you don't think twice and you land and you're like i can't wait to do it again and this time i i was terrified i was really scared the whole time and the second i landed i was like great never again admitting to being scared is something most men would try to avoid because they think it makes them seem weak or not masculine ironically it's by being willing to laugh at yourself for your mistakes or fears that you show true confidence it shows you're centered in yourself and unworried about other people judging you in this next clip you can see in real time the impact of chris being honest about an emotion most men would try to hide three two one oh as soon as chris laughs and admits he panicked he gets a big laugh from the crew by laughing you show that this thing that would bother most people has no power over you now whether you want to be charming because you're looking for a new mentor more friends or more dates there's obviously a lot more to meeting someone than just what we've covered so far you have to be able to confidently start a conversation hook them in the first few minutes so that they want to learn more about you and then build a real connection so they want to see you again if you'd like a step-by-step guide that lays out how to quickly master those skills you may like our program charisma university it's the fastest way i know to become confident and charismatic you can read all the details in the link below but i figure the strongest way to let you know what it's about is just to let the members speak for themselves so here are a few things that cu members have written in this first one is from a guy who joined after a breakup he says thank you so much for charisma university i thought that after completing this course i'd become a smooth talker and be able to take over a room what i didn't realize is that i get that and feel so confident in myself i feel liberated thank you for creating this course this next one is from a woman who works as a clinical psychologist she says i absolutely love the content and i am happy to pay for the modules i'm a clinical psychologist looking for material that could help my clients who have social anxiety charlie's material is exactly what i was looking for so excited to be a member of charisma university and this last one comes from a guy who got promoted to a senior position early in his career he says i don't even have a bachelor diploma yet they want me to fill this position and when asked why this was the answer you have great social skills which is rare for an engineer you can think quick on your feet and you are open and self-assured in your demeanor thank you so much for all that you have taught me you have truly changed my life because without cu i wouldn't have qualified for that position in a million lifetimes you'll see more success stories like these in the comments if you decide to join the course if you do join it comes with a 60-day money-back guarantee which is 100 for any reason at all we make it 60 days even though the course is only 30 days because we want to make sure that every single member truly feels like they're getting a ton of value from the course so if you want to check the course out go ahead and click the link on screen now or below in the description we've had over 5 000 members go through this course and get a ton out of it and i'd love for you to do the same either way i hope you enjoyed this video and i look forward to seeing you in the next one you

Channel: Charisma on Command

Views: 1,040,201

Keywords: charisma on command, charismaoncommand, coc, charlie houpert, charisma, chris evans, captain america, how to be charismatic, social skills, self improvement, how to be more likeable and impressive, body language, flirting tips, how to be funny with friends, how to be charming, chris evans interview, chris evans funny moments, chris evans and chris hemsworth, charisma on command conversation, charisma on command chris evans, charisma on command chris hemsworth

Id: oBzqzLa7-5M

Length: 11min 17sec (677 seconds)

Published: Mon Mar 29 2021