Dr. Emerson Eggerichs: Love & Respect

[Music] [Music] all through this year we have been praying and fasting our our theme is victory we're believing God for victory in every area of our life and one of the primary areas that we're focusing on is victory in our homes victory in our families victory in our marriages victory in our kids am I in the right church we're all believing for that and so today is going to go a long way for all of us learning how to walk in victory and all those things would you give your best grace welcome to dr. Emerson a glitch as it comes to share thank you thanks sometimes people stand when I'm finished cuz they're finally so excited that I'm done so I appreciate that at the beginning no but Sarah and I are honored to be with you and Sarah would you stand she and I travel around together pastor thank you so much for the invitation we're so grateful and the staff has been wonderful and and in the green room is so unique green room you had half the congregation there you guys are close you're family I mean it's just fun to see everybody so close here and ministering is a team and you are supportive of each other it's just a delight we travel quite a bit and it's always fun to be in situations and realize you know you've got a good thing going here and we're very excited for you thank you well most of us know the story of the prodigal but we may not know one factor that I'd like to highlight today but the story of the prodigal is interesting and actually we we think about the young man who is the prodigal that's part of our culture we kind of know we use the expression prodigal and because he was the son of his father and he required or requested demanded his inheritance and so the dad gave it to him and the second born son it was hedonistic very carnal very sensual he leaves home and heads to another land and and indulges and spends it all in fact comes to such a point where he's poverty-stricken and the irony sometimes escapes us but he's now kind of feeding pigs and as a Jew pigs were not part of their kosher kitchen and so that irony doesn't and shouldn't escape Luke is in Luke 15 letting us know that he was at the lowest of low it was the nadir of his experience and but he comes to his senses and he returns home and and his father recognizes him from a distance until dwith compassion runs to him which says that the dad was watching every day because he sees the gate the human gate and knew it was his son and it's very a significant kind of description this father was anticipating the return or hoping or it nonetheless but the real point of the story isn't about the prodigal the real stories about the firstborn son that we often don't pay attention to and the story is really told to illustrate to us that there was going to be a tension between two groups of people and Jesus is letting people know at the time they don't fully appreciate what you and I do but all of us are Gentiles we're not Jews and what was gonna happen is the Gentiles were gonna come into the family of God up to that point if you were a Gentile you had to become a God fear that meant that you converted Judaism you had to be circumcised and as an adult male that wasn't a pleasant experience but that was required of you to come into the synagogue or come into the temple area and they even had a section just for the Gentiles that you couldn't enter into certain areas but you had to convert to Judaism and at Pentecost there were Gentiles who did receive the Holy Spirit but but essentially a hardened Gentile had nothing to do with the synagogue was not a God fear was not to be included in the the gospel the good news and so the Jews at that time just thought of the Jewish Kingdom the 12 tribes and and but Jesus is now teaching that you look back on and you can realize the point he was making that this firstborn son is the self-righteous Jew Pharisee judgmental because the firstborn son wants nothing to do with his repentant brother upon his return and the the the the serving of the calf the the golden ram and all that all he wanted nothing to do it he was infuriated with his father and there's nothing in the text and indicates that the the first floor never went along with it or was forgiving or he's leaving part of the celebration and the father appeals him everything I have is yours but your son who was dead your brother was dead is now alive who has lost has now been found and there's no indication that he received that but here's what I want to ask this not just about this quote quote Jewish self righteous person than the the second born son being the Gentile and being included which is really the deepest point here but there's another interesting thing here's this father of a hedonistic carnal indulging sensual selfish second-born and he has a self-righteous judgmental angry unforgiving firstborn and here's the question and what I'm leading up to would we invite that father to come lecture us on how to be a parent what church would invite that father to come and lecture us on how to father how to parent how to be a good dad how not to be a bad dad there would be no church it would invite him wouldn't invite him and yet Jesus Christ holds up this father as a replica of Abba Father the whole point is this is what our Heavenly Father's going to do and how he is well put it this way as as our Heavenly Father a bad father because we disobey Him in the church today we have this mindset good parents had good children bad parents had bad children into discussion so how could this father be a replica of Abba Father and have two horrible sons it doesn't fit the equation so is he a bad dad because he's got bad kids and how can he be a good father with bad kids that's because it doesn't fit our formula which is a psychological format not a biblical for me those two are part of the scripture but there's two more that a good father can have bad children then a good parent godly parent wise parent can have bad kids that's an illustration right there out of the mouth of our Lord who this father is a replica of Abba Father but two children who rebelled although the one came to his senses fortunately but there was no guarantee the father was hopeful but there was no absolute certainty that his son would return and what about this could a bad dad have good kids you're tracking with the logic but typically we wouldn't say that's the case but it is like Josiah one of the kings of Israel when he was eight he's he had a heart for God when he was 16 he was fully devoted to the Lord and since then his whole life Josiah serving Yahweh but his father and grandfather were some of the most wicked Kings in Israel how is it that you could come from a family of origin that was corrupt and you yourself make a decision to be a godly wise individual you see biblically good they're good parents do have good children bad parents do have bad children a good parents have bad kids father the prodigal and you have bad parents having good kids Josiah had be an illustration of that so what's going on there what's going on is that ultimately children are moral spiritual beings are going to make their own choices and as parents for instance we can control our actions and reactions but we cannot control the outcomes in our kids and in the church there are people who hate that statement because they want formulas if I do XYZ then it's going to produce this in my child no the only thing we can really do is create the most loving environment that best motivates our children to choose our faith in our values because there are no grandchildren in the kingdom there are only children and each person has to make a decision whether they want to be born again and some people are bitter because they land on proverbs 22 that says train up a child in the way that he should goes and when he's older he'll not depart from it so when the children depart there are parents who write me and tell me that they're bitter toward God because God did not fulfill his promise but proverbs are not promises they are principles or pithy statements for instance there's in proverbs 24 says answer a fool according to his folly the very next verse says do not answer a fool according to his folly you have to decide there's a time when you answer a fool according to his folly and he'll receive it you kind of you know you make a foolish statement and response to a foolish statement and suddenly they see how foolish they are but there are other times you make a foolish statement to a person makes a foolish statement and they just rebel against you these are principles that circumstances must govern it's the hint the progress is the hand of the diligent makes rich how many people here are not rich don't raise your hand these slothful people lazy no no no no no I mean the Provost talks about if you are godly holy you can live a little and righteous you'll live a long life Jesus died at age 33 we have to be very cautious these are principles proverbs 22 when we talk about that training the there are like 12 other scriptures that talk about children who who who beat up their parents lied to their parents stole from their parents there's this whole list I had the privilege of studying the Bible 30 hours a week for nearly 20 years and I went through all the Proverbs looking at the children in relationship to their fathers and and there are parents and you just see that these kids are bad kids and the conclusion isn't that the parents are bad the conclusion is the parents were good righteous people it was the kids problem not unlike the father of the prodigal and you'll see this refrain in Proverbs that Solomon Solomon wrote proverbs most of it and you'll see this refrain my son my son my son my son you look how many times my son well did you ever ask who that son was is just some generic thing or was he actually writing it to his son did he even have a son yes Rehoboam so what's the big deal when rheya Boehm became king he was wicked he didn't listen to one thing his dad told him to do not one of those proverbs and yahweh appeared twice to Solomon and Raya Boehm knew that so here's what I want us to take a look at not just parenting today the question is interesting could you actually parent God's way regardless of the outcome in your children the father the prodigal certainly illustrates that he's the replica of abba fathers i've said could it be that some of you are parenting god's way you're touching the heart of christ but right now in this season your children are not responding to you and have some parents actually concluded that they are bad parents that they are failures and they're resenting God because it's not turning out as they had thought was promised that they have concluded that there's no opportunity for them to do ministry and they may not even be in church today because their child is wayward right now and they've concluded and they can't they they can't figure this out but they've concluded that either God is not faithful or there's something inherently wrong with them as a human being and so they've given up what a sad commentary why oh because at the end of the day as Evan Jellicle as we rightly divide the word of truth unless we don't that the scripture is revealing something here that we need to remind ourselves up the eldership may not be you're not qualified for it for a period of time I had in men in my church who are on the board who stepped off the board during their teenage years of their kids because the children were not responding I had one man actually tell the son in humility didn't shame his son he said son I'm stepping off the board and the Sun was so convicted by it he said dad no this is me it's not you and the boy changed so I mean the office in the church there's a qualification but ministry opportunity doesn't cease simply because your children's certain point I mean somehow Jesus Christ doesn't begin to resent the father the prodigal because his hedonistic son is indulgent feeding peg somewhere some of you need to reconsider God has his hand on you but you've concluded that there's something erroneous here because your children aren't responding to you but it also not only applies to parenting it also applies in marriage did you know that you could do marriage God's Way 100 percent of the time and your spouse end up betraying you and you still are going to receive full reward in the and here well done for what you did in your marriage even though your spouse walked out on you so that doesn't compute with us because we have a psychological framework that there has to be marital satisfaction and it has to be mutual and if it's not then one of us isn't doing what we're supposed to do and if my spouse isn't responding they obviously blame me so it must be me and you talk about confusion but you have to step back and ask have we done evil toward our kids have we done evil toward our spouse what if we're good we'll people humbly trying to do what's right we're serving as best we know how there is no known sin that we're doing other than you know we are imperfect but it's not like we are violating things and yet they will hold us hostage in fact one of the first people as children will blame our mom and dad see the deal is we're all sinners and we have flaws serious flaws I mean we're on our way to help apart from faith in Christ may I suggest you that we have a problem inherent within us that it's called the total of gravity of our being it's the original sin we talk about and so we need a Savior because we can't save ourselves we can be good but we can't be good enough the standard is perfection God doesn't grate on occur and so Aaron one point of the law James says we're guilty of all that's that's so then we need it away and it was like in heaven Jesus comes upon us and I will be the way he will be the way and he was and we know that and it's a precious precious truth no question about that but we have to then step back and realize you know what as a child you begin to try to figure out why I'm not perfect and who do we blame our parents you the first because they're the ones that you seemingly damaged us that I'm damaged goods that I have this problem because my mom and dad we start bleeding so some of you have children who are blaming you for their sin nature because they've attached and they've assigned blame to the wrong source they don't want to look at themselves and then that guilt tripped you and changed you and you bought into what they've said now are there people out here who are truly bad parents who are now going to use what I'm saying to justify their wicked parenting yes they will but I'm not going to withhold speaking the truth for fear that someone's gonna twist it Satan himself quoted scripture to Jesus but he twisted it in the temptations and that will happen in every sermon we do so because I'm appealing to the person who has a clear conscience who is nothing nothing evil but has been assigned blame from your children and you concluded there must be something I've done wrong you've stopped ministering to Jesus Christ and maybe even accusing God of not fulfilling his promises I'm wanting to go on record a day to say stop it and you need to realign yourself with a call that's on your life and believe that God has a purpose here and remind yourself that you've been parenting in this instance like the father the prodigal even though you got a self-righteous one kid and an indulgent other one but does that sound like heresy and it doesn't compute particularly if we're formula listing and if you formula listing then the whole idea is if you've got if you've been a good parent have good kids you take credit for it years and and the truth is children are moral spiritual beings who will make their own choices early on we control you prevent your toddler from running into a busy street its control control control but you can't continue to be a helicopter mom when your son is 42 years old and you're kind of just always hovering always controlling say you move from control to counsel then the teenagers you can't control them 24/7 so what are you gonna do then then this is where the tension begins you keep trying to control when the truth is you can't control 24/7 so then you somehow you claim that God's got to do something here he is he's speaking to their heart about making the right choices and then you move into casting off you know the father son shall leave father mother some of you you see your son 18:17 who's beginning to resist you as a mother he's not gonna well because he's is he man enough he doesn't want to keep being mothered and he he doesn't know how to do it in a mature way so he pushes you away and you think somehow you're failing and he's just becoming a man but it's not a good season but he'll reconnect if you don't if you stop if you even control him or trying to be unfriendly or you show him contempt you'll lose his heart and I talk about that in my family book don't don't go that far but it's not a pleasant season but it's the casting off you can't control bad and you can even console him but he's got to kind of come to these points of making his own decisions and this is where people get nervous this is where you begin to have a crisis of faith God doesn't fulfill his promises oh so God has a problem because you do something corrupt in God he's unfaithful because you know I was up in Canada once and this month egg brought us into our conference and his mother had a prayer box thing but she said I'm bitter toward God and so why my daughter just had a daughter and my that daughter was several weeks old and died and I'm bitter toward God and I had all these promises I was praying and God didn't fulfill him I said where all these promises positive yes did you know that there's a promise that those who live godly in Christ Jesus will be persecuted do you have that promise in that box that the righteous will suffer that will be on the cross say my God my God why has thou forsaken me that wouldn't have unanswered questions that we have to live with unanswered question even well it's not christ-like to ask why the Christ asked why but some of us don't want to live with unanswered questions and we haven't even gotten to our worldview that there will be unanswered questions we don't we don't have it within our world view that people die that children die that evil comes that cancer comes we don't have a part of our worldview I had somebody wanted to have a parent you know we have the child dedication in this these husband wife came to me and said we want to do this as fine it some asked me why do you want to do this and I said because we want God to protect our child I told me see if I get this straight protect them from evil yeah like they don't get into drugs like they don't you know get into sex yeah I said whoa this isn't child dedication this is parent dedication that you're dedicating yourself to bring your children up in the ways of Jesus Christ whether or not your child chooses to go that way or not this is who you're going to be as a parent it isn't about who that child is going to be God doesn't promise you that this child is not going to experience evil our thinking has to be corrected here but what so why should we correct it because in part and this is the message I want to get you can parent God's Way and touch the heart of God even though your child is choosing contrary to that but here's what I found once we lock into this this is the irony we relax see if your if your whole self-image rests on your child's performance and the way in which your reputation is contingent on the way they behave around you and in front of other people then I'm a wonderful person once you do that kids will pick up on that real quick that your happiness is based on my performance your self-image is based on how I follow and a compliant child will do that but eventually they'll just rebel as well they were not called to be your therapist and the irony here is that once we lock in to the fact that I'm here to create the most loving environment to best motivate my children to choose my faith and value because at the end of the day I recognize their moral spiritual beings who have to make those decisions on their own so I want to be first in line as the most authentic the most transparent so that when my children come to that point they've heard the melody coming from my life and they come to me and say dad tell me the words of the song you've been humming and they will they will look for the authentic I remember as a pastor I began to rose the kids that were young during those years now I look and they they're following Jesus Christ they love Christ they're doing the will of Christ and I think why did those kids choose that and then I remember it was in this case I remember the dad standing in the lobby after the sermon the families are all the kids are running around the debt these some of these dads are standing around said oh man that sermon convicted me I got to change stuff in my life oh me too men can you believe that point I never even knew that these guys are standing there I used to hear it but I wasn't paying close attention to the significance of this in terms of parenting they were just humble guys processing how God spoke to them sometimes they'd have tears in their eyes you know what they weren't standing there saying did you kids listen to that today they were oblivious to their kids they were focused on Christ and those children over that period of time began to realize my dad's the real deal and there came a moment when they realized wow I will tell you bald-headed men do not sell hair restoration oil there's an element of hypocrisy there hey you don't have any here don't worry about that you just apply this stuff it doesn't work that way you can't sell hair restoration oil if you're bald and you're not gonna sell Jesus Christ if they don't sense you have this vibrant vital humble endearing relationship with him at the same time if you do relax a little bit during these seasons where your kids are not responding to you just stay the course just stay the course and some of you might have come to Christ recently but you hold back on letting out those tears don't be afraid of times just breaking in front of him let it out change their life there was a revival that came to a church cuz an old farmer was asked to come up he was the godly elder in church he didn't say much but everybody knew he was just incredible and asked him to come up and pray he came up there were several hundred in the auditorium and the Spirit of God just came over him and he just started sobbing he couldn't even talk and revival broke out in the church you don't have to say one word it's your spirit it's always the spirit in the spirit first and foremost you don't have to be eloquent it's powerful and they are going to hear that melody and say what are the words tell me the words tell me the words I want what you have and let me share something with you Jesus talked about the two sons though he said there were two sons and the father told him go work in the field and first son said no but then did work in the field the other son said yes but then didn't which of these two did the Father's will and the crowd said the first son isn't it interesting some of you parents are mad at the wrong kid what I mean the why does this one say no cuz he walks in integrity and he's not gonna do anything about your behind your back so he argues with you so you'll tell him he doesn't have to go in the field because he knows he's gonna go in the field but he didn't want to go in the field so he's gonna argue with you until you say to him you don't have to go in the field cuz he's not gonna do anything behind your back you have another child sure dad and then they don't then coil away for a guy ha ha ha you're you're mad at the wrong kid it's true some of us resent the child who walks in integrity because they argue with us all the time because they're not gonna lie and they're not gonna do anything behind your back the other one somehow communicates that they didn't lie they just forgot but they smile and laugh all the way through they have their joke so my point is we've got to give some thought to this gotta give some thought to this but it applies not only in the area of parenting when the points we made yesterday is that ultimately marriage applies it here's the deal when you read the epistles like Ephesians 1 2 & 3 is doctrine 4 5 & 6 is application and Paul will swing from doctrine to application with the husband wife relationship father-child relationship master/slave and then Peter sometimes we'll talk about another's Authority citizen those are the four why because that's where the Lord's watching that's what he's gonna reward has nothing to a spiritual giftedness has nothing to do with talent upstage it has nothing to do with symmetry and beauty memorizing lines we celebrate celebrities because they have a good recollection and they have symmetry but the heart where's the heart God is looking at the heart and he's looking at what we do in our husband-wife relationship he's looking at what we do in the father child parent-child relationship how we work in pleura muy and then how we deal with government and authority figures over us those are the four areas he watches I find that intriguing because apparently apparently it just takes kind of raw trust and obedience doing what we do and here's what Paul then does in these sections he goes from these relationships that can be irritating and he says ultimately we do this ask to the Lord he goes from the horizontal to the vertical Ephesians wives you do what you do ask to the Lord husbands do what you do as Christ loved the church so love your wife as to the Lord as to the Lord as to the Lord as to the Lord you'll see this Ephesians 5:22 asked to the Lord he's inside six-five asked to Christ a fusion 6/7 asked to Lord and not to men you see the same thing in Colossians one and two as dr. and three and four s application he swings husband wife father child master slave it's again and again and again and in Colossians 3:23 for instance whatever you do do your work heartily ask for the Lord rather than for men and why does he teach that because the early apostles meditated on the words of Jesus there was what we call the oral tradition the words of Jesus circulated and they memorize them and one of those Jesus said is you've done it to the least of these you've done it to me and Paul in particular meditated on that and this is ultimately we do what we do to Christ here's the deal Jesus Christ stands beyond the shoulder of your spouse he's present and so to your children so - at work at the end of the day the Christ follower does what he does or she does what she does because Jesus Christ is there and we know this but somehow we miss this we have over 2 million following us on Facebook and I posted this because I wanted people to respond I said this with eyes of faith envision Jesus standing just beyond the shoulder of your spouse your child and I dad worker co-workers who is listening to every word you speak in every conversation for the pleasant or tense when you speak lovingly or respectfully to your spouse child co-worker you are speaking to Christ your spouse child co-worker just happens to be there and people begin respond I mean listening in fact I wrote an article that was picked up by Fox News why biblical parenting has nothing to do with your children it has everything we do ask to Christ this is the whole point of Ephesians and cost as to the Lord it's not about your child it's not about your spouse it's not about your boss they're real but they're not the root this at the end of the day is about us doing what Christ calls us to do because regardless of their response to us we can gain a reward and that's what Paul goes on Ephesians 6 or whatever good thing each one does this who received back from the Lord whether slave are free it's a principle that applies to slaves it's a principle applies to freedom the principle is this and New International says will be rewarded now salvation is a free gift entering into heaven is a free gift you can't buy that Jesus Christ went to the cross and he paid the penalty for what we did wrong theologically it's called the substitutionary atonement of Christ he went to the electric chair for what we did wrong and we simply receive it it is a gift that you receive you can choose not to receive it that's your responsibility but what you're receiving is a gift you don't buy a gift you don't earn a gift God doesn't GRA it on a curb can't be on 87% everybody else's below me and God must accept me know Christ went to the cross if you're guilty in one point of the law James says you're guilty the whole thing if you don't get ninety nine point one hundred percent only 99.9999% you're still flunk you have to be perfect and who was who's willing to admit that so God had a problem and that's why Jesus Christ became the way that he would go to the cross as the way to remedy God was holy and just on the one hand he was loving and merciful on the other he had a duplicity in his personality and Jesus became the way that his love and mercy could be extended while as justice and and his righteousness and holiness could be fully satisfied it was absolutely brilliant I am the way I almost see Jesus in eternity passing father I've come up with a solution I will be the way to remedy this that's a free gift and I hope you understand that but what we're now talking about is an upgrade in heaven it's kind of like an add-on like the Lord is whatever good thing each one does this we see back he'll be rewarded Jesus said when I come again I will have my reward with me that there is this sense in which God wants to say add a girl Paul gave one man over to Satan so his body would be destroyed so his spirit would be saved but he will receive no rewards wood hay and stubble that you can enter into heaven eternal life but without reward and some people say well you shouldn't be concerned about the reward and I say if Jesus Christ intends to reward you who do you think you are to take issue with the son of God may I suggest back off and where does he reward us in the way you treat your spouse and the way you treat your children and the way you treat your boss and your fellow workers that's where he's watching that's not where the world is watching but you and I have to decide are we gonna live by Hollywood or the Holy Word where are you watching is it the same place Jesus Christ is watching the kingdoms upside down what the world considers foolish putting on love toward a woman who's disrespectful putting on respect toward a man who isn't this loving as he needs to be I mean the world said that's foolish being the real deal just kind of pacing yourself with these kids and not trying to be their friend you know I would never try to be popular with my kids at one point they said you're the worst parent on the planet and I said yes I love superlatives finally I'm number one at something nice try get to your room just lighten up kids are gonna say things but you just stay the course just stay the course stay the course whether they choose that course or not be honest with yourself if you're contributing to the problem don't be a a truth twister but if you're not stay the course it's not over with yet and you just be the real deal do this as to the Lord ask to the Lord and if you've forgotten come back to it again when I asked this question people began respond wow that was enlightening I wish I'd heard this many many years ago this is mind-opening 3 explanation points wowzer that was a new word to me at that time wowzer cuz I didn't use that but nice I liked it that speak to God in your conversations with your spouse oh my goodness mind opening numbers learned a valuable lesson today I never thought of it that way I'm gonna have to change how I speak makes me rethink how I speak to my children that puts a whole new light on things doesn't it oh my makes me want to watch how I speak not only to my loved ones but to others as well oh man I needed that thank you so much that puts it in a totally different perspective this is wise when I look at my family and a husband I will envision Jesus Christ be on their shoulder that's a great visual now this is powerful to even imagine now they said this is revelation change the way I'm gonna treat people powerful it's one of those statements that stays with you I began to appreciate this but what I also begin realize Christians know this stuff we know this but we don't know this we know this but we don't do this we we how can this be we know this like the back of our hand though the person said that's a deep thought even knowing that it's so true just might and reminds me that to want to pay closer attention to what I'm saying someone wrote when we got married someone gave us a plaque that said Christ as the head of this house the unseen guests at every meal the silent listener to every conversation and I will tell you though I mean it doesn't mean it's not gonna be frustrating like in parenting there was like there was a five-year-old boy with his dad in the front pew at church on Sunday morning the mother was singing in the choir and the boys kicking the modesty wall there you know in some of the older churches and he's kicking in dads to stop he thirty seconds later he's kicking it again dad's ass stop it kicks it again it keeps yeah this goes in my five times finally dad's had it stands up picks his five-year-old boy puts him over the shoulder and everybody's watching him choir everybody's seen this thing and he's walking up the out the little boys hanging over the father's shoulder and he yells out everybody pray for me now you know there's this lady called mrs. Hughes and apparently she's just a larious woman people said you need to kind of tell some your family stories so she was in the stand-up thing for eight minutes and it's just absolutely hilarious but she was talking about she's from Brooklyn she says yeah when my son was like in his teenage years he was like 16 he was feeling sorry for himself it send a pity party was feeling sorry and he said if if you don't love me why did you have me why'd you have I said to him we didn't know it was gonna be you I love that I mean it parent who's not easy I told him you know I'd have been a great parent had it not been for the kids it just kept interfering I had a woman who was homeschooling wrote me she could she engaged this material she said so we spend a lot of time together in homeschooling and I've been struggling with being calm and non-emotional with my kids for quite a while now I'm not a huge Yeller although I do sometimes but more snappy and and short and bottom line I'm unloving I saw I say I yelled at the kids to get him to stop yelling you know I was just the irony of that one right she says a few key points truly hit my heart like an arrow and was life-changing and will be lasting it changed me she said for instance when you said I'm the grown-up here and their behavior does not dictate my emotions and I'm serving Christ by how I treat them Christ was be beyond their shoulder and she said another thing you said as my response is my responsibility and we taught that yesterday and this is what's there and I subscribed to at the end of the day whether it's in marriage whether it's in the family whether it's at work people don't cause me to be the way I am they reveal the way my response is my responsibility my children did not cause me to be the way I was when it was sinful or wrong or losing water they just revealed my inner choice I to my moral spiritual being who must make that decision but we blame our children if you justify and blame then you're probably guilty he said well I was only screaming at you because your kids were disobeying no you were screaming because you're out of control and they revealed that because every parent has kids that scream and yell and whatever I mean they get out of control but not every parent reacts that way that's your issue you've been that way since you are 8 and you haven't dealt with it and now it's just coming out and in some ways God uses our children to teach us how to be parents he's not using us as parents to teach them how to become a or the other way around and some of us haven't got it it's crucial that we step back and look at that but we've said through the years my response is my responsibility but there's this proclivity to want to blame that my response is your responsibility but the person who comes to a point where they see Jesus Christ standing on the shoulder of a person finally begins to lock into that you're not making me be this way Oh a person can physically harm us I mean as a young person you could be pushed off a wall and and your parent pushed you off in here both legs have been permanently damaged but they can't get you to hate them you know years ago there was a young boy sold on a block of wood as a slave in our country he's like 10 years of age and before the bidding began a slave owner came up to him and said you know man if I buy you will you be honest and young man said sir whether you buy me or not I'm gonna be honest there comes a moment in each of our lives when we make a decision this is who I'm going to be regardless of my spouse regardless of my children regardless of my coworkers regardless of my boss if we live with this whole idea that I'm unhappy because the other people are not treating me correctly now if they're physically torturing you I'm gonna give you a lot of grace but most of this is just social ostracism it's all it is there's not being nice and we may not be getting the promotion that we deserve I get it but you need to understand that Jesus Christ is watching you and some of this is the consequence of your faith there is a suffering that can be encountered as a result of being righteous I mean children jesus said will turn their parents over to the authority to be murdered I guess those are pretty bad parents for those kids to do that no the kids are corrupt and some of you are suffering but you don't get it it's precisely because you are righteous not because you're unrighteous and you haven't figured this out instead the world's against you they're against Christ in you because you're not going along with it and you're not trying to be obstinate you're just not gonna lie and there's a good there's a price to pay if it in your business that you know I'm not gonna do that you're gonna suffer and you're not gonna get the promotion then you're gonna suddenly see that God's not good no you no idea that whatever good thing each one does this will receive back from the Lord you are going to receive a reward I don't know how it is because God and does not intend for us to know exactly what it is but you're gonna hear well done cuz this is where he's watching and each of us has to make that decision you know and it's amazing to me I have a good friend who his wife lost there her diamond ring twenty five hundred dollars so he contacted the insurance company insurance company said no problem we'll replace it but in the event that you find the lost ring send it to headquarters and because you know we've replaced it assuming so they they they purchased the new ring like two years later in the suitcase behind the some kind of the internal thing it was down and they found it so he calls his insurance guy although he was tempted not to said I was tempted not to but the Lord was present and I realized seen this is this is this is amazing to me see Christ followers would say to be shrewd to make make twenty five hundred bucks here this is what the Christ file are today does rather than thinking that's not even an option not even gonna entertain that and my friend had this moment but I mean realize no crisis present and say calls the headquarters and in his insurance guy and they they said I've got this I found it and then the insurance agent said send it back in and he saw contact headquarters headquarters calls back and said yeah we know that's part of the policy but no one's ever done that we don't know what to do with the diamond nobody had ever sent anything back I remember a man standing line an amusement-park man in front of him he had his son right here and a ten dollar bill came out of the guys back pocket when he pulled out his billfold it's laying on the ground man picked it up and put it in his pocket his boys watching he just sacrificed his integrity for $10 I had another email from a man in a car with his family he was in the service another guy that he knew in the service years ago said hey what rank are you I'm a colonel now and his boy in the back says no dad you're a captain and he was a captain he just sacrificed his integrity you wanna this is so mind-boggling we are Christ's followers and we say Jesus Christ is present but we think that somehow my significance is going to be increased if I lie that 10 bucks is gonna really be worth being sacrifice of integrity that I can hang on to a $2,500 ring because it's shrewd baby but then we wonder why Jesus Christ is not using us we have to come to a point where we do not operate according to the world that will tell us if you don't pocket that $2,500 you are a fool no in the eyes of God you are wise the kingdom is upside down but here's the deal are you operating to please an audience of one and are you willing to do that today I'm at the the courtyard ordered that breakfast burrito and Sarah's meal and coffee and tea and then he says it's like it's like 11 dollars and I said no I mean I owe you more than that because I said I forgot the burrito I don't think they're used to this I've been in situations where people say wow and then you see the service I mean he brings us I mean cuz people don't do this and I'm thinking I'm not sacrificing my integrity for a burrito and it was a good burrito I liked it but I'm at these moments when thinking you know Esau sold his birthright for a bowl of soup each of us has to come to a point and here's the deal our kids are watching what a powerful thing well dad you could've put that ten bucks in your pocket it's not mine son it's not mine hey Dad you could have kept that 2500 it's not mine well why not because I believe Jesus Christ is present and I'd rather pleased him than make a few bucks and I certainly don't want to brag to my buddies about how shrewd I am and now I have a story that I tell more than I talk about Christ to them and then I invite him to church and they're not coming not because they're not interested in Christ they don't want what we're selling but if we come to that point and you can begin today where there's sin grace abounds there is no question in mind that where there is sin grace abounds you say man I've been guilty it's a new day I mean it's like the I remember a Gordon P at Wheaton College in the freshman I had only been a believer two years were sitting there and he made the statement he said we come to Jesus Christ and we say Lord forgive me again forgive me again and the Lord says again I don't I don't remember the last time now the Lord knows everything and he doesn't forget but what Gordon P was saying is when God forgives he forgives and so much so like he doesn't even remember so if you say today Lord forgive me for all the past it's wiped clean and not only that where there's sin grace abounds that there could be a grace coming to you that's greater than it would have come to you had you been obedient the first place and why does he do that humble us the greatest way to humble somebody I was in France once what my daughter lives there and but Sarah and I went to this restaurant at the wrong time because in France the waiters in wizard territory and we ordered ice cream well it wasn't time border ice cream is the food you order a big meal a big meal and we didn't order big new and this guy was huffing and puffing I fed him puffing just matters could be threw down a silver you know memorize no I guess we violated this I didn't know I did an innocence so he orders and he gives us the ice cream and I gave him a huge tip and when he saw it he rose up and I said it's yours and he avoided I can he came into just humiliation he he came under tremendous conviction he was just totally humiliated you know in a holy sense I didn't do it for that purpose I felt badly that I was but so I thought well we'll just give to really go over the top here bless those who curse you see some of you need to understand that God will use this you stay the course he'll use it with your children as well I don't know how this applies to you but today I want to close in prayer and just ask you to make a decision that you get it as to the Lord as to the Lord and that you realize my response is my responsibility these people are not causing me to be the way I am they're revealing the way I am and if I'm forever blaming of other people for my response then I'm not free see at first it's intimidating my response of my responsibility but what this really means is I'm free you cannot get me to hate you I'm going to be honest whether you buy me or not this is who I'm gonna be now will we fail yes proverbs 24:16 says a righteous man falls seven times but arises again we are fallen creatures but we can be less imperfect and we can also incremental II improve Pat Riley who had me come speak to Miami Heat you know his philosophy just incrementally improve this this this this and when you compile all together it is significant just take an inch forward in this area don't overwhelm yourself but keep moving in this direction why because there's coming today when Jesus Christ says to you well done why because this is where he's watching marriage family work why has nothing to a spiritual giftedness has nothing do with talent it has nothing to do with symmetry has everything to do with the fact that you love him and you reverence him and he's deeply touched but he's not gonna tell you until that day let's pray together Lord you know our hearts and we acknowledge that none of us are gonna do this perfectly but we want to do it as to you and we're kind of excited about this to act in this holy foolish way at times to pay for the burrito to return the $2,500 to give the ten dollars back because we're conscious of you to share transparently with our kids about how you're speaking to us to stay the course to do what we do unto you because it's a wowser a true wowzer we get it helped us at those moments where we don't get it [Music] with your heads bowed and your eyes closed would you just take a moment where we're at and just say Holy Spirit what are you saying to me today say Holy Spirit what do I need to do in response to what I've heard how do I apply this to my life some of us just need to receive the the grace of God and just cast off condemnation about our kids or things that have been happening in our lives some of us need to receive the conviction of the Holy Spirit stop blaming others for the way that we act forgive us God Lord we pray that you would help us to respond the right way toward you to see you in our homes where we work where we live where we play God some of us need to surrender our hearts and lives to Jesus Christ because we're not following you so today Lord we choose to surrender our hearts our lives we choose the free gift of salvation through Jesus Christ if you here this morning and you haven't surrendered your heart to Jesus or perhaps you're far from God right now can I lead you in a simple step of prayer say dear Jesus thank you for the cross I'll receive your gift of salvation and your forgiveness I'm sorry for what I've done from this day forward I surrender my life is yours in Jesus name Amen [Music]

Channel: TheGraceAgMedia

Views: 29,195

Rating: 4.8688526 out of 5

Keywords: Grace Assembly of God, thegraceag, wayne murray, whiteland, new whiteland, greenwood, indianapolis, indiana, Dr. Emerson Eggerichs, Love & Respect, Marriage, Emerson Eggerichs, love and respect conference, love and respect emerson eggerichs

Id: yDXKnOTN8Vc

Length: 53min 31sec (3211 seconds)

Published: Mon Feb 10 2020