Dr David Gibbs Couples Retreat

thank you faster it's an honor to be here and well if you do all those questions Merce Ernest ever ever thought those were a tough question I don't know what brother Skelly did but I know that brother Skelly is a man that uses a lot of Scripture I've always enjoyed his preaching and his teaching so I trust that God touched your heart I've been married 54 views amen and I love being that I tell everybody number one in my life is my salvation number two is my private about my ministry not all my friends now what I get to do or where I get to go but she's number two is the delight of my life and so I want to take you back to some basics that were given to me when we got married turning their Bibles to Ephesians chapter 5 and my wife and I were about to get married and we went to our Pastor John Valley owners who played a great role in my life and we wanted to schedule the wedding and I've got will to win and he might want to give us a household or something like that and we'll get a date and have it all set up we walked in sat down in his office and the whole meeting took five minutes he said I will not marry you I said what he said I will not marry you if you cannot convince me did you understand what about before God is unless you can convince me how serious it is a bit of them to make a vow before God I won't because I'm not going to help you do something that breaks the heart of God now you come back when you can convince me that you understand what about us haven't we walked out my turn to Michael then my wife the man says what just happened everybody's looking for us to call with the date here we are we can't even get married I went on and told my dad he said what has good counsel you understand how serious about is and that's what marriage is about before that God gives some foundation building blocks that I'm much people have trouble with everywhere and in the culture in which we live right now the things were about to read this culture thinks it's bizarre but if you want to have a christ honoring marriage and how many want to Christ God okay there well I promise you these are keys Ephesians chapter 5 starting but let's start not at verse 22 let's go back up to verse 20 giving thanks always for all things unto God of the father of the name of our Lord Jesus Christ if you understand one of the duties that we all have is to continually give thanks that doesn't say give thanks for what we like it says giving thanks for everything for all things how good are you in your marriage and giving thanks for the things you like for the things you don't like now the world says oh yeah give me what I want given what I like about how you things but what happens when life brings wife how many of you have children how many been loved them more than you could ever say how many of you want to kill them on a cage in every festive Thanks whoa giving thanks always for offensive to God the Father the name of our Lord Jesus Christ submitting yourselves now this is not just in the marriage relationship this is addressed to the church submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God now come the specifics and it starts with the ladies it starts with wives now please as we read these things the men are gonna say but this is good this is with God's its little lives but I want to warn you myth yours is coming and the duty on the men far exceeds yes the duty on the rights right so let's make sure as we're going through this that we understand God covers both sides of this wives submit yourselves unto your own husband's and ladies say about the next words as unto the Lord say it again a young couples come up to me all the time and I'm thinking about getting married and they say where the gives you hear you talk about how you love being married and how you love your wife and I do and do you have any advice process yep I do are young lady are you willing to submit to this young man it's the same way you submit to Jesus Christ and they look at me and they say oh we just want to get married what are you talking submit yourselves unto your own husband's as unto the Lord for the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church he's the savior of the body therefore as the church is subject unto Christ so let the wives be to their own husband's now ladies say about the three words in heaven you've got real quiet say those three words out loud and somebody says what does everything it means every well yeah but not perfect Kipps you don't know my husband can I help you this has nothing to do with your husband maybe you got the most incredible capable talented on the everything or maybe yours is the most limited doesn't matter you are commanded by the god you serve to submit to your husband in now you can't do that in and of yourself but by the power of the Holy Spirit in you you can but you'll never do that if you don't decide my wife very talented Lee she has a master's degree in mathematics she was this incredible always student she's never had anything in school for today I was one of these guys coming through school that thought school was just a colossal waste of time and a bother amen and had not been for her I'd have never got through comments she wrote most of my papers she is an incredible thing but she says honey I want to submit and if I don't submit to in everything I want you to tell me because my God commands it you cannot go out of here and say god bless my marriage god help me in my marriage be with me at my marriage if you're not going to obey this foundation building now the man sits here and says point yeah boy that's good stuff I want you understand minutes not because we deserve it not one man in this room deserves us and can you imagine if God had reversed it and said men submit yourselves unto your wives in everything well yeah but he didn't for the gifts you're running but where I see marriages falling apart is not in complicated things I see them in basic things are you willing to submit to your husband you know my wife rarely asked me for much but one day I'm in a trial across country and she called on the phone during that break and she said oh honey honey honey I got something I really need you to do as a favor to me it's all great what do you mean she said you know I've been saving money for this one thing I think I know and she said then I found one online that just swiped it used and it gets a little over the amount of money I have but if you call I think you know you just got the gift again maybe you've got a comment a bit lower than a little bit I I think we could get this at all the pictures he said this would be so incredible would you please call them tonight please please please and as oh you meant babe I will for sure I will for sure and I meant it but I got all tied up and I maybe y'all ever forgot something you promised to do when I called her that 90 first words I'm what they say oh I forgot and I'm cross country and this is back at the East so we're three hours difference yeah she said well could you call them first thing in the morning but you could you get out of it though I said well for sure and she even texted me and said please don't pretend but I got inundated with the case the triumph and I mean at one point I even had doubt upon my and I just I didn't get it done I called her that what do you say what'd they say this'll all be she said why I think maybe somebody else got it because they took it down let's open it with us I said I was what she did next changed my life but if that had been me to this lady who asked for so little and begs me twice and then I didn't do it the kind of her I just said I asked you one cotton-pickin thing just one what did think you do for everybody of anybody else who'd called you to be shirt guy but I asked for one thing wicked that's not what she did she said babe and when you get your play [Music] and she said the only thing that it bothered because of this hurt you because that thing doesn't matter compared to you and the only thing that it hurt me is if you please and submit to your husband in everything the same way we commend my kids were in the latter part of high school when all that and to this day they say mom changed the whole direction of our lives how maybe don't kids or guys little spies all their watches they remember and by the way men we make mistakes left him we don't deserve the reason a lady does this is because the scripture commands what would it take for you to submit everything as I do now if then shifts to the man now if you're only going to hear one thing please hear this these are not reciprocal this is not if the wife does it then the husband has it or the husband does it then the wife does it if your wife never does it your feet and if your husband never doesn't it's good these are commands these are commands but don't go to church tomorrow at all Lord bless me help me I love you Jesus when we're just sin and left I delight in the most foundational relationship in the church the marriage relationship but it starts with the ladies saying god you've got to help me with this god I want to submit everything then look at what it says in verse 25 husbands love your wives now circle the word love their but this is not the word eros and it's not the word phileo eros is the word for love that's just a physical attraction that's the love that gets a lot of people married but unfortunately what they were physically attracted to one day they wake up and it changed they say what was what I love where did it go this is not that and this is not the word for love that's just a love of a nice person this is the word for the love of God you are commanded to love her listen to what he says even as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for it that he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word that it might present himself a glorious church not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing but that it should be holy and without blemish so ought men to love their wives as they love their own bodies he that loveth his wife loveth himself did you catch this you are commanded by God to love that lady with the divine one the very love by which Christ loved the church and gave himself how good are you at giving yourself and this give himself worded is written in the continuum that means you don't do it once you keep doing it are you good at loving and giving when's the last time you went to your wife and said I want to give myself for you what do you want what do you want is how before the gives if I go and say that she'll come up with some that's the whole reason you're asked how good are you at loving and giving my granddad was one of the strongest men that I ever saw we were in the beef slaughtering business and we took carcass beef and you would lift it up and lay it down in the trucks and I could carry three to 350 383 90 I could carry 400 pounds my granddad could carry five-year pounds and that was we're at 500 pounds on your shoulder but you can't make your feet move and he could do it he was strong big tall man very strong well we went to my granddad and I said grandpa everybody's got a dishwasher this was years ago we want to get you a dishwasher he said no no no no I don't want you to go I don't want you to I said you don't want a dishwasher fine he said well you see your grandma likes it when I do the dishes I do the dishes with and it's the way I give myself I don't want that to go away don't you dare banana he said I know but she likes and I'll understand that next we're doing the dishes tell her how much I love her and how I love doing these dishes what do you do you yourself years I went to my wife but my wife is a problem she does a lot of ladies here are my wife you can abuse her and she says thank you I mean what I say what do you want me to do for you I won't do anything now what did alerting in and I said I want to do stuff for you but she said no no no you don't know I said maybe I do it's Bible command it it's Bible commanded I want to give myself what would you like what would you enjoy she said well there is one thing I suppose I think what anything she said well could we spend one morning together without your poem she's got few competitors could I just have one morning with you I give my life to everybody all across the country and yet here's the lady I'm come and if you killed my life what would your life it would differ from lady to lady but men you are commanded to love and to the same way Christ gives himself well brother Gibbs let me help you here my wife and I we have an understanding she don't have to do this and I don't know let me help you here you may well have that understanding but your marriage is in real trouble because these are commands these are not desirable extras these are things that God absolutely commands if you want to have a marriage that honors him and it starts with the wife submitting to her own husband in everything and then the husband loving and giving himself for the wife now look at verse 33 nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself and the wife see that she reverence her husband the wife is gobo not because he deserves it but because your savior commands can I remind you in the Bible we are commanded as God's children to love our enemies not because they deserve it but because it's contented well my husband shapes up then I look by the way a lady to have an unsafe husband and she still told me what really gives my wife you just can't believe the piece of work I'd marry understand but I want to remind you what I said when you said I do you did and the bottom line is you are to love and give yourself what would it take for you to leave here with these building blocks in place I want to close by telling you two things the devil will fight you on every business because the devil wants anything but a Christ honor of marriage Junior he doesn't want your kids to see in Christ ladies you're training the kids that still with marriages I love your father because I commanded you that's the guys it's not your kind of anamensis it's God if you're the husband I'm committed to lowering and give myself well brother gifts I give myself for her I ever do the laundry make me ice tea in the summertime well she just loves to go hunting I let her ride in the golf cart we go play go which my mom that polio when I was eight years old from the time I was 8 my dad had to dress my heart feed my interior this was back before they had ramps and all kinds of things that are helpful pal my dad said I love doing for you I love it my dad was a sub power call he could go out of courses we haven't seen to shoot the six he said those outputs be nothing to me I want to take care because I love you and I want to give myself I don't know what's in your future all I know is life has a way of bringing things that were not ready for when my mom went home to be with the Lord Vince and miss the surfer [Music] I miss it because I loved it that's this love her give your son all the changes everything ladies it starts with you Oh baby and everything that most things everything one final point be careful especially ladies ladies have these magnificent basic countenances calls a lady's face can talk like you can a lady can put a look on her face you can see it 1,000 yards how many of you men know that Street news ever is my handkerchief with that look listen Anandi obedience doesn't start with the act it starts with the spirit don't let that face say on right or you're lucky that Santa Fe's [Music] because I wanted to tell you this is the stupidest dumbest thing I've ever heard and and if you think I'm going to do this but I obey until your spirit obeys nothing and God says ladies in every the same way you honor and obey Jesus Christ [Music] give use let me tell you what I know about men they're manipulative I'm sure this is what you'd like isn't it and what you're doing is your ended please from the depths of their heart County welcome police picked him home the other day the next travel degree and I said babe what would you like to do she said well there's something like really going tonight I said sure she said could be just sitting no pants just one time I said about what she said there's one hold your hand well maybe that'd mean nothing to your bride maybe that'd mean a lot but it doesn't how did you guys I'm Amish J I'm watching marriages to solve all across the country the lives of people I loved some of them kind of freshly newly married some of them married 20 30 years and other marriages are falling apart but in every case when I said that how are you doing with the thesis over that gives me David we just let it go these are not brother gives us words these are not your pastor's words these are God's words and wives obey your husband's the same way you obey Christ that's the spirit then husbands love your wives and give yourself before can I encourage you men don't stop asking faith what would you like one of the wonderful things about the love of God is he said cannot eat opportunity what do you want we said I got this lady she's not stop she's a talker she'll come up with a list do yourself well my wife stand some serious health issues the last year we were going to travel together a great deal at this point in our lives now she's having just trouble yet around well please I need her I love givin us everybody in this room is going to happen and right one day is the Lord tarries one way or the other don't lose the privilege of giving yourself ladies for love it Beauty yourself [Music] don't leave this conference and forget all the good things man on for every 10th I've read brother chapels book and for everything that can help me be better at anything in the parish but I know this these are the building blocks wives submit yourselves unto your own husband's husbands love your wife as Christ loved the church and gave himself [Music] is called a Christian turn to your mate right now and tell your mate if you're the man I want to give myself for you what do you want tell her Sunday [Music] ladies got the look on her face like he didn't meet maybe you're in real trouble buddy because God was listening I called my wife before I came down here and I said baby I want to be sure with you now ladies turn to your husband I'm telling I want to submit to you in everything everything [Music] now turn back to your mate some of my [Music] gave my wife a flag and it says I know there's not supposed to be marriage in heaven at all but just in case the word changes his mind [Music] right though god please put her mention pass tonight hello god bless you amen

Channel: Open Door Baptist Church

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Id: oprJSav-S_8

Length: 34min 12sec (2052 seconds)

Published: Sun Feb 23 2020