Dr. A.R. Bernard | ONE Conference '21 | 11AM

being a christian is not joining a club and being part of a club and showing you're flashing your id card no it is identifying the gifts that god has given you and developing those gifts and talents and abilities while you are wrestling through your own human weaknesses that can undermine every aspect and especially undermine your christian [Music] witness [Applause] praise the lord [Applause] boy you look good good and hungry i hope how many are here to eat [Applause] first of all let me publicly express my love and appreciation for your leadership last time i was here i had the opportunity to share with you that i recognize the anointing and the gifting in pastor john gray and his lovely wife i recognize that [Applause] and jesus told so many that it was love that motivated the father to send him to the earth and when we look at those words for god so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son who would have thought that all we needed was love you've got to capture that because that text says that what humanity in its broken wounded dysfunctional and disordered state needed was to be loved and love is a tough word folks don't confuse it with what you see on tv love is a tough word because it penetrates deep inside of us and i will tell you all it takes is someone to love you and believe in you to change your life how many know that it's all it takes [Applause] and you don't have to have everybody love you and believe in you you just need the right person to love you and believe in you that's all you need so when pastor john is that how they refer to you here i want to make sure i follow the house pastor gray okay was in crisis and we connected i prayed and said okay lord what does this have to do with me does that sound familiar but something happened in my heart and i know the power and benefit of obeying god amen and he doesn't have to show you the outcome he just wants you to obey and then commit to that because he doesn't bless you based upon the outcome he blesses you based upon your faithfulness to the process well done good and successful servant well done good and faithful serpent so what he's judging you by is not whether you win or lose or the outcome or the success or the result he judges you on your faithfulness and too often we don't understand that so we get discouraged when we're not successful when we get discouraged when we don't get the results we want but that's not what he's judging you by he's judging you by your faithfulness your persistent commitment to a process that takes you somewhere hallelujah i'm sorry i got into it already it just you inspire me amen and i'm glad to be with you let's go to the lord and pray heavenly father thank you for your presence thank you for your blessing upon this ministry the life of this leadership and father i cannot help but sit here and watch and think what it's going to look like ten years from now and that excites me because you do all things well so we trust you with our minds and our hearts today to be shaped and fashioned and informed by your word touch our eyes to see our ears to hear and our hearts to receive your truth we ask in jesus precious name amen and amen you may be seated praise the lord now how many of you are with us for the first time today just raise your hand if you're here for the first time all right praise the lord raise your hand if you snuck back in okay so i don't know i don't have a category for the rest of you who didn't raise your hand um but i'm glad you're here amen glad you're here to have your life changed because this is like pastor john said this is an investment in your life how many understand that it's an investment in your life every choice you make in life is a value judgment i'ma say that again every choice you make in life is a value judgment the scripture says that moses chose to suffer affliction with the people of god than to enjoy the pleasures of sin for a season he was making a value judgment every choice you make you're placing a greater value on what you've chosen over what you decide not to choose how many understand that and it's important in the marriage relationship because women don't mind their husband having god is first but after that like they say in jamaica after that comes she and she becomes secure in the relationship when she knows that she's valued so she watches the decisions the choices that her husband makes in relationship to her and she's making a measurement as to the value that he's placing on her versus other things and other people next year my wife and i will celebrate 50 years of marriage i'm going to give you some time with that you have to understand what that means because we live in a time when marriage is something that people try out let's try and see if it works if it doesn't then we'll just move on and don't no wonder people end up married several times or giving up on the institution itself i was having a wonderful conversation with the head of your marriage ministry right that's called a marriage ministry and they asked me what were some of the keys or foundational things and i express the fact that marriage is over is a vocation let me try that again if you're not familiar with the latin root of that word vocation is vocare which means to call so like you are called to ministry you are called to marriage and some people got married who weren't [Applause] and when it comes to marriage you better make your calling and election sure it's a vocation it's a calling it's a decision that god gives you grace for that's why the bible says if if a man finds a wife he finds a good thing and we tend to stop at the good thing but it continues to say and obtains favor from the lord and the reason god pours out his favor and his grace upon a man who finds a wife and who's willing to enter that covenant relationship is not only because he's going to need that grace but it is in the context of that union that he will honor god in his covenant between christ and the church singleness jesus said is a calling and some folks are just not called to be single so if we don't understand these things as a calling then we will not understand it as something sacred and we'll treat it as an experiment we won't put the value necessary on that decision how do you understand what i'm talking about yeah every decision you make is a value judgment and in that union and i love the the context of marriage because it's the only context in which two people are forced to work it out see you won't feel forced to work it out if you feel divorce is an option i don't know about you but this is what i call good preaching so when we have premarital classes in our church we don't have a segment on divorce in case things don't work out and they can opt out we have what is called conflict resolution this is what we're going to do when the inevitable friction of human relationships are experienced because not only is marriage a vocation it is an act of faith because there are no guarantees and for the most part can we talk and for the most part people don't realize the pattern is that we marry what we think to be the ideal the next morning we wake up to the reality and i'm talking about the real reality not the reality shows that are scripted on television that you think is real but real life and either you grow together or you will grow apart there is no in between there is no middle ground because life is about progress or deterioration and anything left to itself will deteriorate is that making sense to you so marriage is a process of change it's a process of discovery it's a journey but most importantly it's a call from god to a place of service maturity consistency strength responsibility it is beautiful when you study the different names of eve in the original language eve was not her only name but essentially one of the hebrew terms for her name was manliness now why would god call her manliness it's because of what he designed her to bring out of the man are y'all with me here this morning and that's why whenever a group of men are standing and talking and a woman walks by they straighten up they change they without saying a word beyond her physical appearance there's something else that she was designed to draw out of the man and if you think a man doesn't need that talk to god because he's the one that said it wasn't good for man to be alone i will make him a help mate which means that men need how come all the women responded to that my wife taught me real good we live life on levels we arrive in stages i'll say it again we live life on levels we arrive in stages each stage which is the period between levels takes us to a new place of knowledge understanding wisdom experience relationship authority and requires a deepening of our character god does not promote functional illiterates you will keep doing the same grade over in god's economy until you learn what you were supposed to learn because he wants the best for you leadership is about identifying the gift talents and abilities in people that is the spirit of dominion and then doing everything you can to bring out those gift talents and abilities in those individuals showing them how to translate it into value in the marketplace and then make a difference with it in the world different from the spirit of domination and when man fell he moved from dominion to domination and sin enters and sin promises to serve and please but only desires to enslave and dominate are you with me folks this is some of why i'm a christian because there's no other world view that answers all these questions none and i've studied them so i believe that christianity is true so i'm not struggling with whether i'm a christian or not if you're still there that's not good i'll struggle with the virgin birth that's a mystery i believe it but because i believe something doesn't mean i have to understand it because my faith is filled with certain mysteries the incarnation is a mystery and i can believe in it because i understand the necessity of it and yet struggle to wrap my head around it trying to understand it fully and articulate it fully but i'm okay with that how many understand what i'm talking about yeah how important so being a christian doesn't mean you got it all figured out it means we acknowledge that the foundation that jesus lived died for a purpose and rose from the dead it's historical fact that i embrace as true you say i believe did you see the definition believe means to accept something as true because only when you accept it is true will you act on it so we live life on levels we arrive in what sages we arrive in what stages and each stage that peered between levels takes us to a new place of many things that if we don't have the characters to sustain it it will collapse and the newspaper is filled with stories of individuals who were taken to great heights by their skill talents and abilities but didn't build a character to sustain their success are you hearing me beloved i wish above all things that you prosper and be in hell even as so the prosperity of the soul is critical to sustaining all that the god-given gift talents and abilities that you have can build for you and along the way if you're serious about that growth and development god will send you the right people at the right time to bring out the best in you i was listening to the song this morning you saw the best in me when others could only see the worst in me you're familiar with that song i want to talk to you in the time that i don't have left about what we started this morning because it all ties together change is the only constant in life change is the only constant in life we're always going through changes amen and part of leadership is teaching people how to adapt quickly to change you could tell how successful a leader is in their leadership his or her leadership by how the people that they lead adapt and adjust to change how quickly they can embrace change alter themselves and move forward that leader must model that change that leader must model that adaptability that leader must understand the centrality of change to the success of their own ministry and leadership so change is the only constant in life change is the essence of maturation you'll never mature in life and yes you unless you're willing to change and that's why maturity does not come with age it begins with the acceptance of responsibility for your words your thoughts your motives your actions your attitudes your choices so you could be 60 years old and immature you could be 21 years old and be mature the difference is who accepted responsibility who is willing to own it no matter what it may be the good the bad and the ugly and when you're willing to own it you are now at the beginning stage of change change is the only constant in life change is the essence of maturation when change is necessary not to change is destructive i think the first service is available so they can get it right because i don't want to review everything but i want to continue to build on that all right so when change is necessary not to change is destructive it's true of a corporation as well as an individual it's true of a nation which we've seen over the last year because george floyd has taken on a new meaning in what we've seen before in american history but it achieved something that it never achieved before and that is for the first time in america a national consensus of moral outrage asking the question is this who we are dr king wrote his final book where do we go from here it was based on two other questions who are we as a nation how did we get here because if we don't know who we are and how we got to where we are we won't know where to go from here so someone asked the question what did george floyd mean to you it was a moment of self-reflection for a nation to ask the question who are we how did we get here and to conclude we're better than this change is a powerful thing it operates on several levels in your life but it is indeed exactly what jesus was preaching when he said repent for the kingdom of heaven is at hand the word repent there is the word in the greek metaneo which means to change the way you think and evidence that change in your actions so it's not just to think about changing it's showing that there's been change by the actions that you engage in when pastor john and i sat down to talk about his context and the crisis that he's in that he was in hallelujah [Applause] i made a value judgment did you hear what i just said i made a value judgment i valued what i saw in this man's heart in his life in his talents in his gifts but i understood how your gift talents and abilities can be undermined by areas of your life that are not in a process of healing and genuine change and he was willing to be transparent and vulnerable and that is so necessary when you're going to begin a process of change too often we miss the opportunity for change because we failed to discern what's happening the gospels are filled with people that jesus encountered whose lives were radically changed you know the stories i want to share a few of them with you and then lead you into a process of understanding those things that can inhibit change in your life how many want to change absolutely that's where it begins all change begins with a decision people don't change because they haven't decided to change hello they can tell you i'm trying to change i'm changing no as i said in the last service change has not changed until it has been changed and god does not commit himself to people who are promising to change based on future events either you're willing to change in this here and now moment or you're not willing at all and i follow god's lead i don't give casual people serious time jesus said repent for the kingdom of heaven is at hand the kingdom of heaven is a comprehensive way of seeing life that informs our words thoughts motives actions attitudes and our choices it is more than what we think of as just the presence of god joy and peace in the holy ghost and righteousness hallelujah if that's where the kingdom stops with you you don't understand the kingdom because the kingdom is about god's sovereignty in your life that is manifested by the life that you live and that's what jesus was saying the door was open to access to the abundant life access to a different way of life access to a place that will deal with our woundedness our brokenness our disordered and dysfunctional way and bring us into a place of peace progress consistent growth and development how many believe that god wants the best for you amen so when he says repent change it's because access has been granted it also means three things and we'll share them with you as i did in the in in the last service it means that number one you need to change that sounds simple but it's profound because there are people who don't realize that they need to change was having a conversation with someone over the issues of race and racism in our nation and now i won't even touch on critical race theory but uh i i the whole idea of race and and racial relationships in our nation and uh dr ernest king and i and a host of others are working on building bridges between white and and churches and churches of color and i'm trying to figure out what is what is a white church in a black church what does that mean how do you define that that's another story but but you know our culture puts these labels right but we're we're working on that and we're talking about strategizing and i said you know well there's three things that we're going to have to deal with we're going to have to deal with ignorance so what do you mean i said well the two types of ignorance that is at play here number one willful ignorance how many have ever encountered willful ignorance people just choose to be ignorant and as i said in the last service a stubborn man will always be an ignorant man because it refuses to be taught and in order to change you must willing to be what to be taught so there are people who will not change because they've determined not to they've determined to remain ignorant and ignorant is dangerous ignorance is dangerous because they put jesus on the cross so there's willful ignorance but then we have to deal with culturally induced ignorance people who grew up in a cultural context and who are oblivious to their bigotry to their racism to their prejudices they're oblivious to it because they grew up in a context that reinforced it and perpetuated and normalized it how many no changes work it takes work it begins in a moment with a decision but then there's a process in order to see it through and that's why i love marriage and the fact that god uses marriage to explain his relationship with with with humanity in christ you know because i will tell you a marriage license and it's amazing how you can crash your marriage before you crash your car but they'll make you take a road test well we can't give you a road test for matt but they'll make you take a written test that shot right by you i know i believe it right there but they'll make you take a written test and go through a process before giving you a marriage license i mean a a driver's license how many understand what i'm talking about but there is no prerequisite there is no preparation you just go down you fill out the paperwork and they'll give you a marriage license and like i said you'll you'll wreck your marriage before you wreck your car but you see that's the world in which we live that's real nobody taught me how to be married and we simply look around us and and mimic what we see and if it's good that's good but if it's bad that's not good and we simply reproduce what we've experienced what we've been exposed to what we've seen amen jesus was all about change not on a surface level but on a very deep and fundamental level so to recap change is the only constant in life changes the essence of maturation only truth brings the conviction necessary for change and all truth is confrontational because truth challenges how you think truth challenges how you speak truth challenges your choices your actions your attitudes truth challenges you amen and that's why jesus prayed sanctify them not by your grace sanctify them through your truth and your word is truth and i see people wallowing in grace and enjoying grace and have not grown up and don't know how to deal with life because there's certain tools and equipment you can't use you can't give to a child are you with me so there are certain things that god wants to equip you with but he can't until you grow up jesus told his disciples he said i have many things to say to you but you can't bear them now you can't handle what you need to be successful in the future i need you to grow up i need you to grow change and boy i could spend the next several months on it but we don't have that time the gospel is filled with stories of people's lives who've changed how many remember the story of the woman with the issue of blood right the interesting thing is what what brought her to change desperation physical sickness crisis she ran out of money she had been experimented on by many doctors no avail so she was willing to try anything and sometimes some people god has to allow to become desperate he'll he he has to pry them away from all of the power that they had that they trusted in and reduced to the possibility that this itinerant preacher named jesus is who he said he is can do what he said he can do and i'm not going to make a full commitment but i believe if i just touch the hem of his garment i can sneak in and then sneak out but you see jesus is interested in more than just your physical healing so when she snuck in and touched him and and the virtue went into her and her body was healed he said wait a minute [Applause] who touched me he wanted to identify her so that she would understand that it was not about getting your healing and then sneaking off he wanted to deal with her soul and when he identified her and called her out he said woman your faith has saved you you see sometimes the process of change people just want god to get rid of the pain get rid of the crisis but not deal with their inner life but when god is involved in your change he's not going to just heal the outer you he wants to enter you because that's where the outer u comes from if you're broken on the inside it will manifest on the outside now come on folks god is not dispensing some kind of cheap grace it's a grace and truth that worked together to affect the kind of change that is permanent in your life the greatest miracle is not the physical healing it's the healing of the soul and i love miracles how many believe in miracles i'm a miracle you're a miracle i believe in miracles but my walk with god is greater than just some temporary manifestation of his grace and power how many know lazarus was raised from the dead how many know he died after that gotta understand that miracles are temporary because therefore this temporary environment they're good they're wonderful they inspire they motivate they do all of that but there were people who got their healing and left and jesus had to turn around and say well where's the other nine come on you know the story about the leper because he's interested in more than just satisfy your external appetites he wants generational turn change because your choices today will affect generations not even born yet are you hearing me so he starts the process of fixing it in one generation and sometimes it's not fully manifested until the next generation i grew up without a father my father abandoned me literally on the day of my birth when my mother took me out of the hospital took him to his restaurant he was a businessman a restaurateur offered him and said this is your son he said i don't want anything to do with you or my son and left her in a place of brokenness for the first four years of my life she lost so much she had a full scholarship because she ran track she was an olympian gold medalist she was also bronze and silver medalist she ran for panama she ran for venezuela she ran for jamaica she was on her way to the helsinki games full scholarship to come to united states to study a tuskegee institute and run with their track team and she got pregnant lost her virginity in one night and then my father rejected her and rejected me my my mother married four times and divorced four times because she was never healed from that original hurt and brokenness that my father left her in [Applause] and i grew up without a father because those relationships didn't bother me the streets fathered me books fathered me the system fathered me so when i got married i started having children i made a decision i made a value judgment that no matter what i was not going to do to my sons but my father did to me and i stopped something generationally [Applause] with one decision and in the early years i struggled through it because not having a father i did not know what it meant to be a father and i understand that's a double-edged sword because not only did i not know not know how to be a father growing up without a father nor did i learn how to be a son how many understand what i'm saying here i was struggling on both fronts so i did the best that i could and if it wasn't for the lord jesus christ and a set of values and an understanding of what it meant to be father and allowing god to father me because the only place that i came close to fatherhood when i was a black muslim in the nation of islam and elijah muhammad was a surrogate father to all of us but when i came to jesus when i encountered jesus like the woman at the well like nicodemus like the blind man like [Applause] all of the others that encountered him it was a moment of critical change for me and i began a process because change is not an event it's a process and the bigger the situation the bigger the issue the bigger the problem the longer it takes to go through that process pastor john said to me he said he said i'm putting all your business out there and he was stumbling because he was grateful that i would give him the time just to have a conversation without me making a commitment to him i didn't make a commitment right away what did i say i don't give casual time uh serious time to casual people he was being interviewed [Applause] i wanted to know he was serious i wanted to know that once i gave him the gaze of god's love that would not judge him but embrace him appreciate the gift inside of him and then go to work with him through a process of time to experience the change that he was looking for i wanted to make sure that when he received the gaze of god's love through my eyes that he would not turn and walk away like the rich man that jesus loved but he trusted in other things instead of the process and he said i'm willing whatever it takes that's what i want to hear whatever it takes whatever it takes come on give your leadership some love and appreciation wow so i won't tell you how this works once i made the commitment i said we're going to keep it between you and i because i don't want this paraded i want to keep this real and sometimes in order to keep it real you got to keep it quiet i'm just saying and i'm going to tell you this i began forgiving him in advance for the stuff that i knew was going to happen during the process i've been at this for 42 years in ministry so i've worked with a lot of people and i know the process and as sincere as folks can be in making promises to you i know human nature so when things came up i wouldn't tell him but i already forgave him because i knew it was coming it changes the process that you go through and he said to me i don't know why you've taken this on but i'm glad you did and i said you know john when the student is ready the teacher appears have a seat i got to wrap this up oh man we can't i wanted to dig into the woman at the well nicodemus zacchaeus blind bartimaeus mary magdalene caiaphas the high priest pilot the governor see because there are examples of people who seize the opportunity and there are examples of people who rejected the opportunity so maybe i'll be invited back but i'm going to give you something that i promised is that all right it takes courage to change because you don't see immediate results when change is necessary at a deep and profound level it happens in stages we change in levels we change in stages remember we live life on what levels come on come on stay with me we live life on what look i'm not here to entertain you it may come across that way from time to time but that's not what i'm here i'm here to feed you with knowledge and understanding so that you won't be confused or lacking [Applause] so we live life on and we arrive in and each stage which is a period between level takes us to a new place of knowledge understanding wisdom experience relationships authority which requires a deepening of our character all of that is in the process of change god's change is not pulling a rabbit out of a hat get rid of that magical thinking where you want just the instant change it lord just touch me jesus that is the high that the drug addict seeks which makes him feel good for a moment only to have to come back again and again for another fix and if you know anything about drug addiction you never ever again experience what you experienced on that first high so you spend the rest of your life chasing that first high that you're never going to get and just going deeper and deeper in the downward spiral of moral and spiritual destruction bearing the scars not of jesus not of the cross but the scars of a life liveth in rebellion to the authority of god so we live life on we arrive in it takes courage to change you can't be weak when it comes to change and courage is the ability to face struggle and hardship with confidence it takes courage to change all change begins with a decision decision means i'm passing judgment on the old so i can embrace the new did you hear what i just said because you can't put new wine and old wine skins and there are people who cannot embrace the new because they're not willing to pass judgment on the old decision must be followed by dedication must be accompanied by discipline this is what i shared with you let me wrap up with this because i can talk about this got 42 years of study in my head and heart you don't change because you haven't decided to but what are some of the factors that influence a person's lack of a decision to change i'm glad you asked number one pride i know some people close to me who are struggling right now and nothing's going to change because of their pride pride is the strength of sin i'm gonna try that one more time pride is the strength of sin where does sin get its strength from and as long as pride is there it reinforces that sin in your life that's why the scripture says humble yourself before the mighty hand of god pride is the strength of sin deceitfulness is the characters of sin deceitfulness is the character of sin because you sin by buying into a lie and that lie is reinforced in your life and becomes the character of who you are so you're used to lying to cover up your sin pride is a strength of sin character deceitfulness is the character sin and all sin manifests itself in hiding what did adam and eve do they hid themselves so people who are allowing pride to control their lives and reinforce sin tend to live in the shadows they lead a double life one that they allow people to see and what that one that they're hiding in the background and don't you think for one minute that they're not conflicted that they're not struggling that they're not living in attention that's where you could see it taking its toll on them jesus said my yoke is easy my burden is light so whatever you're yoked to in life you carry the burden of so if you're yoked to sin you carry the burden of that sin and after a while that burden begins to take its toll and you begin to look like you've been carrying a weep that you can no longer stand up under when jesus took upon himself the sins of the whole world the scripture says his face became disfigured marred and unrecognizable number one pride will rob you number two fear some people are afraid to change i said it takes courage to change and people don't want to take that courage scripture doesn't say pray for courage he said be courageous be courageous make a decision make a decision that no matter what you're facing you're going to stick with it you're going to be faithful to the process rebellion people refuse to change and i talk about willful ignorance laziness is too much involved to change i don't want to put the work in so i rather move on and they just keep moving on from person to person relationship to relationship situation to situation and it gets worse and they don't even realize it lastly ignorance i don't know i need to change and that's why we preach and have services and have conferences and have all of these things so that you are confronted with your need to change oh come on you can stand and give god a good hand clap offering for his word come on shout the praises of god god has great things for you god loves you in ways you can't even imagine but he's given you free will because without it it wouldn't be love what allows us to love is freedom of choice but a god what allows god to love us and what allows us to love each other and to love god love is not centered in the emotions it's centered in the will love is a choice so you don't fall in or fall out you choose you choose well i just fell out of love with him no you choose to stop loving or to start loving but love is the way that god has chosen to heal us to deliver us to free us to elevate us to change us relentless church thank you thank you it's been my pleasure to be with you my pleasure to work with this man of god pastor come [Music] [Applause] you so on

Channel: Relentless Church

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Length: 65min 54sec (3954 seconds)

Published: Mon May 31 2021