Don't Wait On Someone Else To Fix Your Life - It's YOUR Job!

this is the ramsay show [Applause] [Music] you can be intentional about your character you can have money and a career you are the hero in your story [Music] live from the headquarters of ramsay solutions it's the ramsey show where debt is dumb cash is king and the paid off home mortgage has taken the place of the bmw as the status symbol of choice i'm dave ramsey your host this is your show america it's called the ramsey show we talk about your relationships your jobs your mental health your career your oh my goodness gracious your boundaries your crazy relatives and even your money all of it's right here on the ramsay show dr john deloney ramsey personality is my co-host today dr john has a brand new book out that is on pre-sale own your past change your future you'll want to pick that up and also check out his show that is the fastest growing ramsay network podcast right now it's called the dr john delony show where he deals with all kinds of mental health things and uh some of it's uh just regular folk uh trying to do a little better and some of it's crazy stuff and uh it's always entertaining i can tell you that i love listening to it so anyway we're here for you guys today the phone number is triple eight eight two five five two two five arnell is with us to start off this hour in west palm beach florida hey arnel what's up hi dave hi uh dr john how are you both better than we deserve brother what's up uh thank you for taking my call i wanted to get some advice on how we can stay motivated we have followed the baby steps for a couple years now we had completed baby step two baby step three and we basically fell off the bandwagon over a period of time and now we're back in baby step two uh from a series of choices that we made and so i just wanted to you know see how we can stay motivated um to stick with it so that we don't end up paying off the debt just to fall right back into it again [Music] why were you getting out of debt the first time um [Music] why did it sound like a good idea to you yeah um mainly the financial freedom um you know knowing that you know our money is for us to use for things for the future instead of paying for things in the past why are you getting out of debt this time um sort of the same thing but um also just kind of practically just to free up some extra money in our monthly budget yeah you're not gonna make it nope not gonna make it you're gonna fall off again but i can help you it's not all bad news [Laughter] your issue is your why why you're doing it isn't big enough why you're doing it right now is uh it'd be okay and we might be better off and we might get us some more stuff if we had more money yeah instead of like i want to change my family tree i want to look in the eyes of my grandchildren someday and tell them i was old man vanderbilt i was old man rockefeller this started this dadgum thing no one's going to take over this branch of the family tree and take their house ever freaking again say the difference your why is kind of casual right instead of israel so you guys need to there has to be a nobility to this i want to change my family tree i want to be outrageously generous it has to be other centered rather than self-centered or you won't stick with it the people that quit drinking that are alcoholics never do it for themselves they always do it for someone else or something bigger right same thing you guys have to come up with a new identity as our friend james claire said like you've got to say not i'm gonna i'm gonna do this anything i am we are a family that doesn't borrow money doesn't borrow money and the reason we don't borrow money is we don't like being broke and the reason we don't like being broke is we can't be generous and we're not and i don't want to retire and my kids have to take care of me because we know social insecurity is not going to do it there you go i want to be able to when gas prices go to five dollars a gallon i want to be annoyed not crippled i want to be i want to be like oh man i don't want to wonder oh no how are we going to pay our bills i want to be able to sleep i want to be able to breathe i don't even laugh you got to have a much bigger understanding of why you're doing this yeah and if you get a bigger why you have a better chance of sticking it out here's where i've seen this happen it's mildly inconvenient you will keep smoking oh yeah if it's just annoying or you just stink a little bit my wife doesn't like my breath that's not enough she's not kissing anyway hey here's the thing you all go out and paint a picture of what this could look like and work backwards yeah a big beautiful picture in great detail high definition picture not vague you know pastels i'm talking where is the house i want to see the beads of sweat on the forehead when we're at the beach where are the kids going to school how much money are you giving away on a wednesday night just to be super generous like what what does it look like how would it feel to walk over and buy a single mom a car for 2 000 and not notice how would it feel to pay for the adoption of a kid coming out of foster care so that that adoptive family could afford to do it and that kid's life is changing that family is changing you get to stand back and cause that to happen right outrageous generosity you got to have stuff like that in your head man because it's just like yeah it'd be good to have to have payments it just won't do it man it's a true statement it would be good not to have payments but you need a as simon sinek says start with why salesmen know that trick like i probably shouldn't buy it they know that trick it's really hard to hit your head up against no this is not who i am yeah that's you can't sell over that ramsey's don't borrow money yeah ramseys are always generous yeah it's just ramses are you know you fill in the blank this is who we are and you know i told my my daughters growing up when they were little i said ramsay girls are smart and pretty yeah and when they're grown women at their rehearsal dinner their dad looks across and i said what's a ramsay girl and she's still smart and pretty you can ask her today and she's on 35 years old you can ask her what a ramsay girl is and neither one of my ramsay girls anymore that's right they're now crews and whitmore's right all right so help me with this dave let's turn the tables help me with my parenting and mental health so the other day i walk out the door and i tell my daughter who's six good morning baby and i kissed her on the head and she lost it all you ever tell me is that i'm brilliant and beautiful and strong i can't take it anymore i don't want to hear it anymore and i was like i told sheila all right mr phd you know what that is she's wanting you to say it more i told sheila i said i didn't have this class in grad school i don't know what to say about this what mean seven-year-olds she said the other day she goes you don't have to keep saying it dad yeah and i said i must say it every day i want you i want you to just be so sick of me you're going to have to be married to that guy you know what 20 years what will happen is when some 16 year old or 17 year old little predator comes into her life she's going to remember that she's a precious child of god and she's special and she's going to be looking at him going you've got to be kidding me yes it won't even occur to her that she's a victim of some guy like that you've got to be kidding me she's going to run up against the math test and think i can't do this she's going to go nope i'm smart and i'm pretty i'm brilliant i can do this somebody's gonna say you know you have a weird face and she could say no i'm beautiful i know i am yeah you apparently have eye trouble because my dad said that i was smart and pretty and his mustache is bigger than your gross stringy 16 year old mustache no such thing there is no such thing as a 15 year old mustache this is the ramsay show [Applause] [Music] if you're considering a career in technology i recommend bethel tech and i'm not alone here's what brendan said before bethel tech i was driving uber within four months of graduating i got a job paying 60 000 about two years after that i got a remote job that pays me and thirty thousand dollars all thanks to what i learned at bethel tech you could be next get started today at betheltech.net and get 1 000 to 2500 off of your tuition again it's betheltech ken coleman [Music] so [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] dr john deloney ramsey personality is my co-host today open phones at aaa 825-5225 [Music] last week we launched the first stop on our building wealth live tour the response has been incredible it is almost sold out already if you haven't heard we're taking the building wealth live event on the road this year doing a couple of events this spring and four more in the fall building wealth is a hot topic right now everybody's got an opinion on how to get rich quick how crypto or single stocks or zero down real estate or beanie babies or whatever it is is the only way to do it we've talked about all these topics on our sold out event back in january the content was very popular so we said let's do it again and again and again the energy in the room was amazing our first stop on the building wealth tour is going to be orlando florida get ready me rachel cruz george campbell will do the building wealth event again dr john deloney and ken coleman are coming with us we're all going to be signing books dr delonie and ken will be doing side sessions as well uh this is may the 19th orlando it is not yet sold out but it is approaching it quickly if you're not in orlando stay tuned we're going to be announcing more cities and dates really really soon tickets start at just 25 or you can get a four pack for 60 which means for 60 bucks the cost of a couple of pizzas you can bring some friends with you that's a deal this is these tickets are ridiculously low but we're just excited to get back out into the marketplace start seeing human beings in a room together oh so good oh man time to do it time to get fired up time to change things ramsay solutions dot com slash events ramsay solutions dot com slash events sean's in los angeles hi sean welcome to the ramsay show hi dave dr john thank you so much for taking my call sure what's up so i have been and baby step two aggressively paying off the only debt that i have which is student loans for the last three months good and um and i have been in the just recently i was approached by a really good friend and a member of my church who um they felt impressed by the lord to gift me a large sum of money towards this student loan debt and it's something i've been praying for privately to the lord for many many years now and the provision is coming and so my question is with this large sum of money well i want to make sure that both this person and i are both being wise with it uh handling it legally wisely and if if we can avoid any potential taxes that may come from that what is the amount of money the amount of money is fifteen thousand dollars okay and evidently i'm learning that there might be more coming okay well he can do fifteen thousand individual to individual in a calendar year without any gift tax and without any taxes at all okay if it's more than that if it's more than that if he's married his wife could give another 15 000. how much is your student loan debt i have about sixty thousand left okay so you were praying and asking god to help you pay off the student loans he sends fifteen thousand dollars what's the question i just wanna make sure that we are playing this wisely with taxes and doing it legally because uh i want to make sure that person is protected from any horrendous taxes that may come from a gift tax okay and make sure that maybe i'm not getting taxed of the law you have no taxes he has no taxes if it's 15. if it's more than that there is more coming which the plan is if there's more than that it needs to be after the after the calendar year ends or is he married uh this person is single okay then uh there's uh he's either gonna have gift tax on it if it's more than that or he's gonna wait on the first of the year um or he can seek a tax professional's advice there's a thing called the unified estate tax credit if his estate is under 20 million dollars he can give up some of his federal exemption for estate taxes and avoid the gift tax that way that does require one page form to be filed on anything over 15 000 and he and he permanently loses part of his estate deduct federal estate deduction that is not as susceptible to federal estate tax but if his uh net worth is under 20 million dollars then it's a non-issue and here's another thing to think through sean um this person's a grown-up making grown-up decisions and if their grown-up decision to give you twenty-five thousand dollars means they gotta pay some taxes i'm guessing if they're in a position to write you a check for 25 grand they're in a position to pay the tax on that whatever so or in a position to get some tax advice yes it's your responsibility yeah don't don't beat yourself up take the gift and then don't use it for anything other than paying off your student loans yeah because that's exactly what you prayed for and if you got it and then you gave something else with it then you'd be like god's gonna be going what yeah you know so that's like struck by lightning kind of [Laughter] i think that's how that works but probably not feels fun in my head i'll strike you with lightning oh whoa and you have that power do you greg is in boston hey greg what's up hey guys how you doing what's up man i uh i'll give you the dirt you tell me what you think so i'm just trying to get a sense of whether i should simply take money out of the market pay off the mortgage which is my only debt or keep it in the market and i'll just give you the stats and i'll just listen from there how much do you own your home so i own i owe 3 30 the house is worth 550. what do you owe on what do you have in the market uh just just shy of 600 000 on the market is that is that a retirement account or just open yeah it is in a retirement uh um retirement and ios everything designated for retirement savings how old are you 58 okay uh no i would not i would not take it i would not take it out of an ira or a retirement account at 58 years old because you're going to pay a 10 penalty plus your tax rate on it so about half of that about 300 000 of that is in the retirement account the other is liquid in the moral account oh i misunderstood you i thought you said it was in a return again clear my so you have 300 000 that's not in a retirement account and you owe 300 000 on your house correct paid off today interesting all right okay you want to know why i did that i will gladly take your time yeah okay here's why i did that because it's the why is important because that way you make the same just you don't do stuff because dave ramsey said do it you do it because you understand why so um the uh not because i'm scared of biden or all the other crap in the stock market's going crazy and the inflation and all this stuff it's not that at all i would have given you the exact same advice five years ago 10 years ago 15 years ago because we know from data that we have collected on millionaires that the shortest distance between where you are right now and a multi-million dollar net worth is to become 100 debt free because it lowers risk and increases cash flow so many millions we studied 10 we studied 10 000 millionaires and the vast majority of them that got their first 1 to 5 million of net worth which you don't quite yet have but you're well on your way you've done a really good job had a paid off home and a beefy 401k and a roth ira in good growth stock mutual funds so a lot of them had like a million and a half dollar net worth a paid off six hundred thousand dollar home and seven eight hundred thousand bucks in their 401k and it took them you know 15 years or so to get those two goals accomplished and that's the the standard template model of a millionaire that we have studied and found to be true and so given that we know that if you don't have a house mortgage you make different decisions in your career you have a tendency to make more money if you don't have a house mortgage you have more money because you don't have house payment to put into and fund your investments and your investments grow faster and faster and faster and faster and faster so the whole thing the lowered risk and the increased cash flow causes the wealth to blow up and that's why i said to do that and it's why i didn't even hesitate and again it has absolutely nothing to do with the current condition of the stock market the geopolitical climate the crazy butt inflation uh i just filled up my truck and a holy hundred dollars i mean it's just unbelievable i get it i understand a lot of you are afraid you're freaking out don't make financial decisions based on freak out make financial decisions based on principles that work in good times and in bad times this is the ramsey shop [Music] if you're not using puretalk for your wireless you're paying too much puretalk gives you the same great 5g coverage on the same 5g network as one of the big guys for half the cost the average family saves over 800 a year go to puretalk.com and choose the affordable plan that's right for you with their 30-day risk-free guarantee you have nothing to lose go to puretalk.com and enter the promo code ramsey to save 50 off your first month [Music] dr john dolone ramsey personality is my co-host today in the lobby of ramsey solutions on the debt free stage naaman and gabrielle are with us hey guys how are you you're doing well dave great how are you doing better than we deserve brother welcome so good to have you so how much debt did you two pay off we paid off seventy five thousand three hundred and fifty eight dollars i love it how long did this take you ten months and eighteen days oh there we go and your range of income during that time um back then we were making about fifty eight thousand to then 90 000. that's a nice jump in the year way to go so where do y'all live venice florida oh yeah cool what do you do for a living i'm a machinist i'm a cnc machinist and i'm a nurse all right so what why'd this income double what'd you do she graduated yeah she got a job i like it where'd it go it's about time gabriel that's fantastic that's so cool good for y'all how long you been married um just over one year yeah cool how old are you 21 22. and so what kind of debt was this 75 000 all student loans yep got rid of sally may yeah okay so i i i have to know how in the world is somebody 21 years old 22 years old this brilliant that you decide the first order of business as newlyweds is to get really sally may cause we really don't want a roommate since we just got married we wanted to set up our future for you know our future family and changing our changing our family tree yeah but when i was 21 my future was about look how big this truck is how did you guys definitely that's one of tesla yeah that's fair he wants one but he didn't get one he got out of sallie mae exactly yeah what got you in this what in the world how did you know to do this how did you get connected to us so i kind of just found you guys on youtube um um it was probably about a year and a half two years into our relationship and you know i was getting ready i graduated high school and i knew that this was going to be serious and i was wanting to spend the rest of my life with her and um you know i wanted to um be able to support our family and be able to be the better leader of our household you know and so i wanted to learn about finances and so i went onto youtube and i found your found your videos and i just got into it and just watched non-stop videos and then she was hearing me talk about it saying i'm listening to some crazy guy was he driving you crazy a little bit but i thought he was obsessed and then i started listening to and um i just agreed with everything so we started listening together and just jumped right on board he started saving when you started working as soon as you graduated you know i've always been a saver and so i was able to thankfully thank the lord i was able to save so much and you know cash flow our wedding and um you know and then have some savings to pile in to when we get married we both had savings we could throw at it and um yeah why to go you guys you're amazing you are an amazing power couple at 21 22 years old very well done so uh i'm curious naaman uh i actually just did a pod recorded a podcast yesterday with my buddy mike rowe who does dirty jobs and he's a big proponent as i am of the of people considering going into a trade so we've got a a a nurse with a ton of education and we've got you coming out of high school and you go straight into a trade you're making bank in the trade you're doing very very well what made you decide to go that route so i had a neighbor down the street that i was doing yard work for on on summers you know and and i told him i wanted to go and get my mechanical engineering degree and he said you know you should probably go and learn how things are made and you know learn how to make things with your hands and you know know the engineering behind how things are made and so i looked into it and it was just a year-long course at a technical college and right when i graduated i was placed into a job and you know i was blessed yeah so is your future goal to ultimately go back and get a mechanical engineering degree yes yes i would like to do that you will be the best yeah mechanical engineer because you actually know how crap works it's not theory yeah wow your neighbor's a genius that's a wise neighbor yeah very wow who were your biggest cheerleaders as you guys were doing this uh i'd say each other and um at work uh i worked as a cna before while i was doing school and uh i when i started as a nurse i took all the overtime that i could and uh people were asking why are you working so much what are you doing what are you saving up for and um i told them you know we're saving up to pay off all our debt and uh people are asking how we were doing it and um did they just saw that we were different and i sus people would start coming up to me and being like oh i paid off my car or i'm signing up for six shifts this week and it was just really motivating to hear and people started listening to or some of the girls at work started listening to the show at work and all for their own reasons but um it was just really motivating to hear like oh i did this or uh they're just seeing that we're different and uh and we listen to your guys's show you know every day and so we had motivation from other people doing their jeffery screams yeah and that was really what you know kept us going but a 21 year old and a 22 year old y'all are the youngest people in your work area by a decade y'all were a little bitty light that blew everybody out of darkness people could suddenly see a whole new path yeah like y'all are changing a bunch of family trees yeah that's fantastic you're reminding me all cause you stumble onto youtube man who would have thunk it yeah that's amazing yeah i love it you guys are something i always tell people don't don't follow what you hear on youtube i'm wrong let it go way to go man with the exception of the ramsey this is actually information you can count on yeah good very good so uh what do you tell people the key to getting out of debt is you did it you're actual professionals um i say just dreaming together we had a vision and we knew what we wanted to work towards and that we wanted to start having kids sooner rather than later and um get a house so we made a clear path and um we just like we were newly married so it was hard so sacrifice sacrificing time we wanted to spend all the time we could together um so we just had to be intentional about just um when we did have days off just you know sitting down talking to each other and still making sure we had the same vision and i was learning that you know it was all about you know the more you can sacrifice in the short term it compounds and it's just beneficial in the long term you know um when i was when we were doing our debt free journey i was constantly listening to total money makeover while i was working the audiobook and three or four times it's probably seven or eight times but oh yeah that was just better than i did and you know and some reason i wasn't understanding the point of getting rid of all non-retirement you know and i had i had my beloved tesla stock that i had purchased and it grew and i really loved that and it came down close to the end and i'm like i want to get out of this dead you know i want to i want to move up move up the bar you know we thought we were going to get done in january then we said december then we said november you know and so i sold out all that because i know that it's more beneficial for our future yeah when he told me that i was like i had to clean up my ears i was like did you really what he did so how much beloved tesla stock did you have how many dollars worth it was five thousand all right look at you that was a big that that's a big jump and he wants a tesla too so he's totally brought in you know he's a big elon musk i'm just saying way to go guys very fun very fun well we're incredibly proud of you you are an impressive impressive young couple you give old geezers like me hope that there's future with people like you guys running around so well done we got a copy of baby steps millionaires for you that's the next chapter in your story for sure you'll be there before you know it and that tesla's on the way you're gonna get you one if that's what you want anyway and uh also a copy of total money makeover uh make sure you get one we get that and maybe one of your buddies who's just getting started on this stuff you can give it away to them so good stuff good stuff you guys are amazing very very impressive congratulations neyman and gabrielle are gay is it gabrielle gabriel gabrielle good in sarasota florida 75 000 paid off in 10 months making 58 to 90 21 and 22 years old shut up count it down let's hear a debt-free scream three three two one we're debt-free [Applause] [Music] so if you're listening or watching today and you have 80 000 in student loan debt that was for you that says that this can be done one year and you should do it 10 months baby game on but you sell the beloved dot dot dot fill in the blank this is the ramsey show [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] dr john dolone ramsey personality is my co-host today open phones at triple eight eight two five five two two five robertson chicago hi robert welcome to the ramsey show hey happy fun patrick's day how are you today better than i deserve sir what's up in your world good uh so the basis of my question uh relates to the funds that should be in a custodial account for my son i know for your i know you mentioned uh you know past videos i've seen where when you purchase your real estate you paid in cash but you have like a s p 500 fund that you just stock away money and then when you're ready to purchase something you just take your money out and pay cash for it so currently um and my son's one year old one years old by the way but right now i just have a single s p 500 fund so any money that comes in you know from gifts and things like that i just put it towards that fund so i'm not sure if that fund's fine for him or if i should you know break it down to four separate funds like you recommend for you know retirement accounts oh that's fine i'll just leave it in that i mean if it gets to be 500 000 or something you may want to move it around but i don't think it will i mean you're probably if you if it ends up being 100 grand it'll be a great day right right yeah because uh it's going to be there for him until he turns 21 then it's you know his money but you know just to make sure you know i just wasn't too sure when i was buying the same fund yesterday and you know putting a good amount of money towards it so that's why i was curious yeah i wouldn't worry about it if it gets to where it's large enough that you start to feel uncomfortable diversification is safety and the only reason to move it into to diversify the funds is to make it a little safer a little calmer but an s p is pretty stinking calm it's going to follow the market be as wild as the market's going to be um so you know but that overall over a long period over a 20-year period of time that's a fairly close it's not a high risk investment i mean you're not buying gold you're not buying oil futures you're not buying bitcoin you're not buying lotto tickets you know you're this is a conservative investment in in the realm of investing so i think you're just fine there i also would make sure though that your funding is 529 for his education as well um that that is more important or at least equally important as this and so i we always talk about the the fact that 529 grows tax-free so it doesn't matter what funds you've got in it you could put it in four you could put in one you can put it in whatever um but yeah the the the you know uh uh uniform utm account a uniform transfer to miners account is what you've got which anytime you open an account for a child that's under 21 years old it's it is in your name it's in the kid's name and you're the custodian and that's a utma uniform transfer to minors act so any of your parents if you've opened your kid a checking account or a savings account at the bank or anything like that that's what it all falls under is that that piece of the law uh and it will be taxed at the kids rate if the kid has any taxes and they usually don't because there's usually not enough money in there that it makes enough money to to activate taxation and thank you for being a dad robert who is thinking about their kid yeah most parents get the 20 in the mail and they just stick it in their wallet or in their purse and you're thinking way down the road good for you man yeah that's good really good stuff really really excellent all right tonya is with us tonya is in new york city hi tanya how are you hi dave hi john been listening to you guys since may 2020 thank the pandemic um i'm currently yes i'm currently on baby step two um with a student loan six thousand dollars and car carly's i know don't hate me save uh six thousand dollars i bring home 6500 a month my car leaves in february 2023. um i have a baby step three questions what do i do first do i save for the three to six emergency fund or save for my next car three to six emergency fund okay okay the car the car upgrades and couches and home purchases and vacations and all those things are fine after you have an emergency fund in place but if you do those things without an emergency fund in place you are inviting an emergency 100 yeah sure you'll have it yeah you're just kind of like looking at the rain clouds going rain on me taking all of your precious things in the yard and saying you won't rain on me do it do it yeah just make sure you finish the you know and so we stay gazelle intense until we get through baby step three thousand dollars in the bank is one be debt free but the house is baby step two emergency fund of three to six months of expenses that's the foundation that you build your life on financially and so you stay very intense very focused don't buy anything until you get those three things done when you've got those things done then you save up and you get a better couch you get a better car you get a better house you get a better whatever it is um and you're paying cash for the move up and all of that of course so we don't go back into debt but that's exactly how that you move from intensity to intentionality at that point i love that and dave just as you said that i think there's got to be people in other parts of the world as people are taking notes like what now what now okay pay everything off and then have some savings okay got it that we think wow we are we are building rockets in here we are building rockets oh josie is with us in in cincinnati hi josie what's up hi dave hi john um it's great to talk to you guys i've been listening for a long time um so yeah john this question might be more directed towards you um so me and my husband have um just recently in the last year gotten out of debt um and i guess the thing i'm struggling with is how do i talk to my parents about doing the same thing um i have talked to them about it previously my i come from a big family and so my parents have always worked really hard to provide for our family and to keep food on the table keep the lights on um but i think that's about all they've been able to do um and now that i'm older and i see what this feels like this freedom and like i want this for them um you're newly sober and you want everybody to stop having a glass of wine because it feels so great right and or you just discovered the keto diet now you want everyone or you just went fully vegan like you are debt free and you are sleeping like you haven't slept your marriage is good um sex and money are two conversations you can't have with your parents about their sex and their money and so what i did one year for my family years ago is i this is back in the olden days i printed out a binder with a year's worth of budget outlines that i i got off dave's original website years ago i bought everybody in my family total money makeover and that was it that was my gift for christmas and they loved it it was good we had conversations and but when my mom invites me into that conversation she'll ask an occasional question my dad went and moved some retirement stuff after his parents passed away recently asked me some questions about it but i wait for them to invite me in i'm not going to be able to go tell my parents that i and i know how hard that is because you are feeling it for the first time and everything is through that lens right now the thing they're not gonna hear it there's two other things you can add to that equation um you can never bring their finances up to them but you can talk about your story and how good it feels and never even say a word about theirs just tell them your story and how great you feel and um you know i uh you know i just feel so much better i just you know i mean we don't fight about money we've got control the future's bright huh wow it's just one of the best things i've ever discovered and you just keep talking about your story and how you did how you did it and what you did and nobody can really argue with you about your story um and eventually they might say well i could never do that well you and you could say well you might if you ever want me to help you i would there you go or something like that that's a long way from you shaking your finger at them going you people need to straighten up because they're not going to that way the second thing you can do is sometimes you can talk to someone that has influence in their life that talks to them about this subject and they might listen to that person a pastor an older brother your uncle in other words that kind of thing but that seldom works either honestly but the other one will work tell them your story this is the ramsay show [Music] hey it's john deloni co-host of the ramsay show did you know over 18 million people listen to the ramsay show every week a lot of those people listen on one of our 600 plus radio stations across the country to find a station near you go to ramseysolutions.com [Music] this is the ramsay show [Music] you can be intentional about your character you can have money and a career you are the hero in your story [Music] live from the headquarters of ramsey solutions it's the ramsey show where debt is dumb cash is king and the paid off home mortgage has taken the place of the bmw as the status symbol of choice i'm dave ramsey your host dr john deloney ramsey personality is my co-host today open phones at triple eight eight two five five two two five that's triple eight eight two five five two two five we're here to talk about your relationships your boundaries your mental health your job your career your money all of it right here every day on the ramsay show tyler is in pennsylvania starting this hour hey tyler what's up hey guys how are we doing today better than i deserve what's up all right so i'm looking to get some advice um i'm currently making around 40 000 a year um and i don't know what my next move should be um i pay around 900 for rent um and i have one kid now and another kid coming in around this week we're due on the 25th congratulations thank you thank you my wife is um a stay-at-home mom and so you know we're kind of just working with my income right now um i have around 5000 in savings i have my 401k i have stock you know i'm trying to see what i can do and you know i just need some guidance in what my next step should be in housing you're doing very well congratulations how old are you thank you 19. oh thanks wow what do you do for a living so i work i do like sales and food service it's kind of both um it's kind of like a convenience store but it's um a better growth convenience store if that makes sense you're having baby number two at 19. yes yes dude my mom gave me a talking to at 19 before i got a dog she's like i don't think you're ready for this you are in it brother so how old were you when you had the first one i was 17. wow you're just getting after it huh so your hands are full okay so um what is your 35 year old you gonna be doing for a career oh man i i have dreams of kind of being retired and uh you know i look to you dave as you know a huge mentor as i'm a new listener i don't want you to be retired at 35. i want you to be making two million a year what is it you're going to be doing um i don't i don't really know yet um you know i'm working for a good company i get you know and there's an esop program i get a good 401k um i'm looking to get into real estate at some point i'm also really interested into stocks you know i have a lot of options due to me being young but you know i don't really have a set journey yet okay well yeah you you've um you know in one sense you're 19 and you shouldn't have all this figured out in another sense you're making 40 000 and have two kids so you gotta start figuring it out you know because here's the thing you uh you're going to hit what you aim at and if you aim at nothing you will hit it every time and the chances of you opening your eyes at 27 making 40 000 for the same company are strong to quite strong if you're not headed somewhere yeah exactly and so the way we solve your rent problem is in the short term you have to be very careful and manage and and pick out a good property and just kind of deal with life with two kids and super young marriage and all that and um you'll laugh about these days later on and go back in our 23 we were starving to death but um you know but the but for right now it's just a pain in the butt and uh but but the the way you overcome this is you are aiming at something further down the road and that will have so let's just pretend let's pretend that over the next few months or even years you decide you want to be doing something and you just give it a name whatever the thing is and you're going to be you know doing real estate and i'm going to be making 100 000 a year when i'm 30 years old okay once you start saying that a lot and start to believe it and start to study how what you have to do to make that come true uh you know what must be true that is not true today for me to be there then immediately you start moving off of the 40 and start moving up which starts to solve some of the immediate problems as well and so that's why i'm asking you all of that instead of answering your 900 rent question because truthfully it's not going to be easy to rent a property and feed two kids on forty thousand dollars you can do it but you don't wanna do that for a decade doing it for 10 months while we're heading to something else and i'm not teaching you to be dissatisfied with your job i'm just saying even if it's inside this company when you start talking about the super talk of the supervisors and the managers what about what do i have to what value can i add to this organization so that i can move up because i got two little babies i gotta feed and i'm trying to be ambitious and uh wise beyond my ears and show me how to do that and you'll be when you start talking that and thinking that and being that and identifying that that's who you are that's when the income's going to start to change that's why you hear people calling this show tyler that almost every single debt-free scream during the time they were getting out of debt increased their income now some of them just did it they took an extra job pay off debt but some of them walked into the boss's office and said what can i do to add value and the boss goes well you know what i haven't given you a raise in a while here's another 20 grand and ding ding you know it's just stuff like that happens all the time but it's because you're paying attention to it and there's something magical about sitting down with a supervisor or maybe not even your supervisor but somebody one step ahead of you and say hey can i buy you some cup of coffee like walk me through your arc here when'd you start here how did you get to this role people love to tell their story and you're going to pick up a lot of wisdom along the way about how your group operates how the groups around you operate hang on the line here and jenna will get your information we'll send you a copy of ken's book from paycheck to purpose that just walks you through that process but start thinking and dreaming big in the meantime keep your rent low yeah in the meantime find it out manage your budget and uh live like no one else so that later you can live and give like no one else in the meantime you're gonna live in a place that you don't want to live in for very long but you'll live there for a little while i did when i was your age i did too and and it's not to say that it's mandatory to do that but it's just to say that there's no shame in that i'm okay if you could live in a really wonderful place because you were making 200 000 a year that wouldn't make me mad at all either i'm not it doesn't it's not required that you have hard times but you are square in the middle of some so you might as well get the getting might as well get what's there to get good for you man you're just a stud man unbelievable gosh i'm i'm not sure i could have dialed the number to call this show no when i was 19 the number of 19 year olds i've worked at that can't figure out where the intramural office is good grief trying to check out some ping pong paddles and i can't find the like oh my gosh and this guy's having a second kid it's amazing well it'll grow you up i can tell you that and obviously is he's wise beyond his you're a good young man you call us anytime we can help hold on proud of you general pick up and give you a copy of coleman's book and we'll move you along to the next next fantastic really cool wow wow this is the day that i feel old the 19 year old this is the day well shut up i just caught up just today suddenly i mean the 21 year olds and the 19 year olds and it's like oh my goodness america dave needs a mirror well i've got you john this is the ramsey show [Music] [Music] life is full of firsts [Music] as the first and longest serving christian health cost sharing ministry chm has shared medical expenses for its members since 1981. we believe you should have the freedom to focus on your health while being supported by a community of believers giving you the opportunity to create many more firsts [Music] thanks for joining us america this is the ramsey show we're so glad you're with us dr john dolone ramsey personality is my co-host and uh dr john baloney came to our product team and they came up with this very wild idea conversation cards uh for adults a conversation cards for families and we've got them for several categories right how many categories um yeah there's ones for people who have been married for a while that help you get a little bit deeper in your relationship and then for families grandparents and kids and everybody in between and then there's ones for just friends hanging out okay and just the conversation starters that's right and i probably promptly laughed and i went we've reached the point in america that we actually need a deck of cards to have a conversation this is absolutely freaking ridiculous these things will never never sale and they have sold thousands tens of thousands they're going to pay my house off i'm telling you i've never seen a product like this i love it when i'm wrong like this i do too so they have challenged me to get involved especially since i was so negative uh with the conversation cards so you've got some of them so this is how this works this is how this works i'm just pulling up so imagine me and you are getting chips in queso or just having a conversation from a couple of 10 million people what's one word or phrase that's way overused literally literally oh literally he's the worst literally rachel cruz literally everything literally the word i can't stand is the word awesome and i say it it sounds like an old like sad my past teacher our pastor friend has a fit about that because he says that word should be reserved for god it's okay and i say it all the time too like i'm some kind of surfer boy or something well it sounds like an old youth minister in shorts like you're awesome yeah and we're like we shouldn't be saying this but yeah it's yeah it's a great word but it is yeah overused all right what physical activity well dave's out on that one what's physical activity or i'm just being ugly today physical activity or whooping on john this is anyone at say it again what physical activity or sport could you defeat pretty much anyone at none um but i am uh in the top one percent on a water ski or barefooting you are incredible at that so um and i'm 61 years old that's still barefoot so that's you know that that does put you up there i saw you get off the back of the boat i couldn't believe if i hadn't been there i would have thought they were exaggerating when you were on the back of the boat and then you took the key the rope and threw it into the back of the boat and you had we were surfing that surf everybody surf so we're just surfing i've never seen that well it's really impressive when you've never seen it but it's not that hard so i just saw you on some sort of device behind the boat nothing was pulling you and you were still following the boat that's that's surfing yeah that's bad lots of people do that that a lot of people are gonna be going john that's not that impressive but um yeah we've been doing it since nobody was doing it that's for sure we started doing it we had to get our own little board and figure it out and then it suddenly became a thing now they build boats just to do that what's a movie or tv show that you're ashamed to admit you watched downton abbey [Laughter] lost my man card on that one you like every episode yeah lost my man card on that one for sure oh man without hesitation boom just like that you liked it oh i loved it yeah completely lost my man carter the music just ding ding ding ding down the whole thing [Music] if you can't see if you're listening on podcast dave is actually hugging himself right now when he just said that no his arms are crossed in a bad body language position he is not he's hugging himself all right what's the strangest thing you know about your family history uh you can repeat on the air yeah really um well on the one side i had a group that had my two great grandfathers were both preachers one of them was a circuit riding preacher and on the back of a mule went around all throughout the south and i've got his bible from the 1800s that he carried in the saddlebags wow that's on the one side on the other side someone murdered one of the ramses and uh the the widow was pregnant and when the baby was born 18 years later she handed him her his dad's gun and said the guys in montana go kill him and he did so so you come back creatures on one side and we got this other thing on the other side so i don't know yeah it's it's wild so america if you don't think genetics are a place years later hillbilly will send you your the son of your father to that you kill to come kill you i mean this is that's that's hillbilly stuff right there man wow that's fantastic dave i think like i'm not usually speechless that's incredible and i'm looking at the manifestation of that right now and you've been making fun of me just keep this in mind i'm quiet now yeah just want to tell you that you're looking great looking kind of young you're looking younger than i've ever seen you yeah you look fast too like you could just run fast that's incredible questions for humans everybody man you get a group of people around the table and that is fun i have to admit oh yeah it's pretty cool you dig up something and get to talking about something other than just stupid stuff tell your friends that you can not talk about covet and not talk about whatever it is not a coveted question or a politics question in this thank you jesus not in this debt no vaccine questions no thank you jesus we did think about coming up with another deck on ending friendships and it's just going to be all stuff when you answer this question trump is the greatest ever true or false go [Laughter] people who don't get vaccines are evil go like we're just gonna we're gonna clear your friend deck for you we're gonna sell that deck at a hundred dollars a piece you're gonna separate the sheep and the goats right here y'all can just move over so here's the fun thing we're going to give you when you buy two copies of john's new book own your past change your future one for you and one for a friend if you use the promo code friends when you check out you'll get the friends edition of questions for humans for free we will throw in this highly expensive deck of conversation cards as a bonus this is dave revenge for me giving away tmmo every episode you're now giving away the questions for humans carl and and another book yeah so there you go with john's book and the questions for human cards you will laugh for sure you'll probably cry you may get mad you'll definitely learn something and you'll start connecting at a meaningful level ramsey solutions.com get two copies of john's new book one for you one for someone else own your past change your future there's all kinds of add-ons when you buy that and put the promo code friends in and we will also now in addition to the other stuff throw in the uh friends edition of the conversation start very cool free and that's a big bonus because these things are selling we really don't have to give them away no yeah we're not really going to be stuck with them or anything they're going to sell goodness gracious and then you can call my show to find out what happens when you find out that your boss has a murderer in the family wow hey far enough back that you know that doesn't affect me it is not far enough back doesn't affect me why do you just keep that in mind that i'm just scooting over right now gabriel gabrielle is with us in atlanta hi gabrielle how are you hi i'm i'm nervous but excited how are you dave better than i deserve john's in rare form you should be nervous what's up um so i am a elementary teacher i have been that for nine years now i make um close to 60k i have over a little bit over a hundred and ten thousand dollars in student loans and i'm a single parent um when i'm i'm currently a part of the loan forgiveness program uh four years in um by being a part of that program they base how much i have to pay off of my debt to income ratio and the fact that i have a daughter that i support um by the end of the program after 10 years i would only pay a little bit over 31 000. um i've been reading your book love it um i completed it a year ago and i started to listen to the podcast about a month ago the money makeover book um so i'm on baby step number two i've knocked out credit card debts and trust personal loans and now i'm sitting with the student loans and i'm wondering do i just hang on for the ride for the loan forgiveness program because it's going to mean i pay back less or do i now try to figure out some way of continuing as a teacher and being a single mom and figuring out how to get good zeal about paying this debt off when i do the math there are questions there's three times the student loans are forgiven disability death and the private student loan forgiveness program 726 811 people had applied for the program that you're on seven hundred and fifty thousand people applied for it as of the end of the year so far eight thousand have gotten it one percent are getting it it's a lie you need to pay off your student loans do not sit and wait on that it's not going to happen the government lied to you they are not doing it the actual numbers are in 1.6 so far have actually gotten their forgiveness the rest did not it's a lie i'm sorry [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] look i love real estate and i want you to have a house but i don't want a house to have you that's why you need to get in touch with churchill mortgage to make sure you do this right these guys are awesome they'll help you get on a smarter mortgage plan because they're committed to doing what's right for you that means they check in every year with free consultations to help you stay on the right plan they show you how to save money and interest so you can build wealth faster they walk you through the total cost of your loan so you can make the best choice basically they care that's why we call them ramsey trusted you can achieve debt-free home ownership and churchill is here to help go to their site churchhillmortgage.com ramsey to start your approval or get more information dr john deloney ramsey personality is my co-host today thank you for joining us america open phones at triple h 825-5225 brandon is with us in denver hey brandon how are you i'm good dave how are you better than i deserve what's up okay so this has happened before with my sister this is basically what it's about so my sister i'm 27 years old and my sister is 46 she'll be 47 in april and she always seems to have trouble financially and recently she asked me for a hundred dollars and i'm not sure if she's aware that i know that she owes my mom 800. and i kind of wanted to like offer her advice and help her out but i in my mind i feel like she's going to live okay what is this 27 year old punk trying to school me on anything he's the one with a hundred dollars you don't have that's who he is yeah i know i yeah no i can i get it and it's a little frustrating because i feel like if it was i feel like if anyone's asking for money it should be it should be the other way around but you know it's like i don't know exactly how to bring it up to her because i don't want to i feel like my mom and dad always end up giving her money and i've always told them like you know this isn't really helping her it's more so perpetuating her mismanagement of money and i guess i just don't know how to go about it without causing a whiff between us so i want you to re re-approach the situation you did not cause the rift the rift was thrown at you all you are doing now is responding to the rift okay and as simple as uh um no i i'm not gonna loan you a hundred dollars thank you though anything after that is you trying to smooth over your boundary and that's not your responsibility so there's a simple peaceful answer i'm not going to judge the fact that you owe mom i'm not going to explain stuff to you unless you invite me into that conversation i'm just going to tell you no um i'm not going to not going to loan you 100 bucks all right john that's not how this ends though no then it's like why not exactly you're not just gonna you know what does he say when she says well why not because that's exactly what she's gonna say yeah why not entitled brat oh you mean you can't even yeah i'm just gonna choose not to and if you wanna go down the road of well well then what because this is going to cause a rift between you and me and our relationship but i'm not going to do that and this is you drawing a boundary that no one's ever drawn from her you know what that's going to feel like to her abuse oh my goodness hatred you here's the thing you can't control her response to your boundary you can't yeah i guess the thing is is like i do feel kind of bad this was about a week ago she asked me and i didn't even respond to her because i'm just like i had nothing froze i'm just like in my mind i'm thinking are you serious right now yeah good hey and good for you for not lashing out for taking a break okay that's that's wisdom yeah no you're you're smart because putting the snark on it that you that we all want to tell her it's not gonna be helpful me included it's not it's not helpful okay that it does not help her so the goal here is to help her yeah okay and so john let me ask you is there a way that you can couch this i get that the boundary is simple um no i i'm not able to do that at this time well i'm choosing not to do that whatever i'm not i'm not willing to do that at this time okay well why not yeah um is it okay to then is is it productive then to say you know what i would choose to do is if you will go through this class financial peace university that costs 100 i'll pay for it for you yeah so so that you can learn how to handle money so you never ask anybody for money again because i've watched you struggle and it breaks my heart yes and well the thing is is i know that she um her and her husband because she does door dash on the side and her husband's a breadwinner but he makes really good money and um i know they i think hired a financial advisor like months ago but apparently obviously didn't really do anything or the financial advisor is an idiot more than two yeah and or that financial advisor has that cash flow right has to do with other things here's the thing when she when she has to redo it finds herself in a situation where she has to go to her brother her 20 year younger brother and ask for money she's already in a in if not already she is in dangerously close to the fight-or-flight place anyway she's something has come up that has pushed her to this area and then you say no and every alarm she's got is going to start ringing and so while what dave said is when you if you sit down have a cup of coffee with her and say can we talk in person yes i care about you a lot this has come up a lot i know you've you've been with mom and dad i want to see this i want to help 100 is not going to help it might bail you out of a thing you think you have but in that moment usually people can't hear me that's why i always i always recommend wait to be invited in if you want my money here's what it's going to come with you're going to sit down you have to have a cup of coffee with me so maybe that's the angle i'll give you 100 bucks but you have to meet me in person and you have to listen to what i have to say and that may be where you have a little bit um that's kind of the i mean i'm visiting back because i'm originally from maryland i'm not from colorado yep so i'm visiting home soon and that's kind of something i'm a little nervous about visiting because i don't know if this her but i think it's also kind of a good opportunity as you're saying to kind of sit down with her and talk to her because i just it's been going on i think ever since she got married for like 18 years that's been going on because apparently she used to have a better credit score than my dad so and now her credit score is like really not good yeah she's got bigger things going on and maybe that's the angle as you sit down with her and say i want to take you to breakfast or take you to lunch and then say you're really worried about your life you asking your little brother for what's going on are you okay and when she says what do you mean i'm fine i'm fine you say you just asked your little brother for a hundred dollars you're not okay and that becomes an angle that is going to give you permission into speaking to her and what's going on in her soul right but the end of the deal the end of the story is regardless of her reaction or her choice to respond in any of these conversations under no circumstances do you give her a hundred dollars except in the event that she is going to plug into things that cause her to start winning with money so that she never has to ask for it again yeah that's kind of my angle that's been my angle for a while because i even get upset with my parents because she's asking for money before and i only gave her money one time she's probably asking for money like five times um and i said no all the other four times uh the very first time i said yes all the other times i said no she even asked me if i could co-sign for her daughter for a car and i said absolutely not good for you know all about that so this is this is long term it's been going on for a while so i think this fifth time she's asked you and it's a small and you know i think the other thing you do do a john deloney and say this by the way is the last time we're going to have this discussion right is it because the next time you call me for money i'm just going to tell you no and you're going to know what i meant when i said no yeah because i don't need to cover this yeah well she knew because even because she texted me she didn't really even call me which sounds weird but she texted me and she was like i know you don't like giving me money it's like well yeah you know i don't it's not even like but it's not you though it's like i just don't like giving people money like money that i've worked for i mean if i i'm all about giving people gifts and maybe like charity and volunteering and stuff like that but it's like repetitive and my parents i get kind of like i don't i know i can't do much about them but when they keep giving her money i always tell them like please don't do that because it's like it's like you're they're digging a hole well you're giving a drunk a drink they're taking the half themselves to give to put somebody out of one and it's just like but here's the deal you said it and i want to reiterate it you can't do anything about what they're doing and so you you spoke in your piece to your your parents i would get out of their head i'd get out of their decision-making process and don't don't let them have don't let this issue have any more real estate in your brain it's a real simple thing i'm willing to help my sister when i in a way that i am really helping her not in a way that i am giving a drunk a drink it's very simple and if she does not want to participate in that then i'm unwilling to have any more conversations even about this until she is okay and i know i'm your little brother i know this is weird this is where we are yeah i mean i know it feels weird because you're old enough to be my mother you know i mean she's 20 years his senior and so uh that is very weird it's not a classic sibling relationship um and so yeah you just say you know i i here here's the here's my terms and they're all for your good i don't need the hundred dollars i could give you a thousand dollars but none of this is going to help you uh but i want to really help you and something's clearly not okay yeah she's got bigger problems than a hundred dollars heartbroken a lot bigger problems and because they're chronic they're ongoing yeah this is the ramsey show [Music] [Music] [Applause] [Music] thank you for joining us america this is the ramsay show dr john deloney ramsey personality is my co-host today best-selling author and host of the book of the podcast the dr john daloni show be sure and join it it's right here on ramsey networks uh paul is with us in sacramento hey paul how are you i'm walking on to the break of dawn hey yo what's up paul i stole that from you i like you oh my a dr john fan okay what's up all right all right so i'm gonna give you my whole life and financial picture i'm 19 years old i'm planning on getting married in the next two years and then i want to rent for two years after that so i'm looking to buy a house in probably four to five years from now i have forty thousand dollars in cash right now and i'm thinking of putting that in an s p 500 until i'm ready to buy a house and just keep adding to that but my mom says that i should probably that i should hold that as cash in case a good deal comes up or something like that just to have that cash ready on me on hand because i'm going to be going through a lot of changes so you can get it out of an s p 500 in 20 minutes yeah it's as liquid as your savings account is as far as getting a hold of it the downside is the stock market might be down that day or that week or that month and so i mean if 40 thousand dollars if it had a 10 drop in the stock market that would be an unusually bad year statistically unusually bad year and that would have cost you 4 000 if the stock market is up 10 15 you're gonna make four five six thousand dollars per year doing this so if you can handle emotionally the swing of you may make four or five or six and you might lose four that's probably your over and under on the thing then the s p 500 is okay if you can handle all of that right the chances of it of your 40 turning into 20 is very very very low it's only happened a couple of times in history the chances of your 40 turning into 80 in one year never happened it's never happened right so you know so you're over and under is what you're looking at you know what's your best case scenario worst case scenario and can you emotionally handle the swing between those two numbers so john from a psychology situation phd in psychology you're in counseling i was reading a study i don't know if you've ever seen this data or not that when someone loses money on an investment you have seen it like well you're smiling when they when you lose money on an investment if for every dollar that you lose on an investment to feel the same way uh emotionally you have to gain three dollars losses impact our emotions at a three to one ratio heavier than gains lift us emotionally yes i don't remember the exact teeter-totter there but i know daniel kahneman's just he's he changed the world with his studies on that but this idea and i'd never thought of this dave i'm so obsessed with losses that i don't think about non-future earnings right so we get so obsessed with yeah well and the reason is is that you've experienced probably you may have a scar yeah where you say okay i lost that money and you know i i but you know the stock market like people uh well here's an example okay when in 2008 when the market dropped from 13 000 to 6 400. drop basically in half uh the dow did we had people and people will tell you to this day that they lost all of their retirement in the 2008 downturn well mathematically that's completely impossible it's inaccurate right it's completely impossible that you lost all of your retirement if it was in mutual funds you lost half of it if you happen to buy at the very top and you happen to be the most unlucky person in the world when you chose to sell at the exact bottom you would have lost half of your money um and by the way it's not at 6 500 today it's close to you know north of what 30 000 today so 40 000. so um you know that the dow jones industrial average in other words so that you know market is up 5x from the bottom there but in that effort to lose you know to emotionally recover from that downturn you completely avoided the market since 2008 you've you've missed that your million dollars would have been five or six million right or we see this especially missed out on when you put five thousand dollars or twenty thousand or a hundred thousand dollars or a million into your company and your company's not doing well we're so loss averse that we keep dumping money into that thing instead of cutting our losses and moving yeah it's very difficult especially when it's a small business person who their dreams or identity are tied up that's right yeah you just do it with marriages too we just keep going and we don't stop and have conversations yeah we say uh necessary endings yeah buddy henry cloud right uh bill in traverse city michigan hey bill what's up hey dave how are you better than i deserve how can we help um what dollar amount should we have set aside for uh long-term care and we're just kind of wondering if we're going to make it with our current finances what's your net worth uh 2.8 million not counting real estate you made it you're good you made it good so go nursing home shopping in traverse city and you know find the highest and the lowest and one you can reasonably do also talk to uh some in-home care specialists that will furnish round-the-clock care in your home which you have enough money to do that instead and it's sometimes not even as much as a nursing home okay and here's your averages the average nursing home stay in america is 2.3 years the average cost is 75 to 80 000 a year times 2.3 okay so you have a 200 000 exposure with a 2 million net worth you made it now let's say you had something happen that was twice as bad as average can we agree that statistically that's unlikely twice as bad as average that'd be 400 000 right right you're still not broke the person that's left is still a multi-millionaire oh let's just say that statistically it's highly unlikely that it was three times the average and you spent six hundred thousand dollars on immersed nursing home you're still actually fine still a multi-millionaire with real estate bill what makes you think you're going to run out there's something beneath this question um just a lot of our neighbors their parents are having situations and i'm like um my wife in our early 50s and we're like man we don't want to strap our kids with this type of situation and they're scrambling you know what i mean so unless you do your nursing home in trump tower you're going to be okay okay i feel better you guys are working you still got 20 more years of work left yeah so and you know and by the way let's just say you know the the the percentage of people that go into a nursing home prior to 60 is less than one half of one percent okay so let's say you got another 10 years anyway oh let's say you got another 14 years this is all going to double two more times if you've got it invested decently during this time you're gonna have a 10 million dollar net worth by the time you address this issue and then again go shopping and have some actual facts and say okay here's the nursing home we would choose and today it is 110 000 today it is 85 000 and the average is 2.3 years and um if we're triple the average are we still okay easily easily easily and oh here's what in-home care if i hired a nurse full-time bought a hospital bed and dropped 50 grand on medical equipment for that room to take care of my wife because i didn't want her to be in a nursing home and i've got 10 million dollars so we're going to do this at home with full-time care a plus blue ribbon care what's that going to run 150 grand maybe you know and this is world-class everything so i'm making these numbers up but i'm not far off so once you get actual numbers instead of my opinion on them and you put them down on paper and you look at them compared to the money you have you're gonna go we're self-insured we're good and it's always important when you're sitting around with a group of people and everybody's talking about the end of the time get a counterbalance which is what he did he called somebody and said give me another perspective on this yeah and it's always good to get another perspective on a problem always and lastly your neighbors that are worrying about all this likely don't have your net worth dude that's right very likely because you haven't told them yours but i'm betting you that they don't have your net worth this is the ramsey show [Music] hey it's john delony co-host of the ramsay show did you know over 18 million people listen to the ramsay show every week a lot of those people listen on one of our 600 plus radio stations across the country to find a station near you go to ramseysolutions.com [Music] this is the ramsay show [Music] you can be intentional about your character you can have money and a career you are the hero in your story live from the headquarters of ramsey solutions it's the ramsey show where debt is dumb cash is king and the paid off home mortgage has taken the place of the bmw as the status symbol of choice dr john deloney ramsey personality is my co-host today as we talk about your relationships your boundaries your mental health your job your career your money and your life right here on the ramsey show triple eight eight two five five two two five and is in columbia south carolina starting off this hour hey ann what's up cj it's good to talk to you you too um i haven't i don't know what to do my husband just died within the last week or so oh my and and i went to call my sister only to find out that her husband had died in february so my sounding board we're both in the same boat but the reason i called is because i don't know exactly what i should be doing in in terms of the mortgage i received a letter from the mortgage company where they were doing the annual escrow analysis and they've upped the mortgage payment almost a thousand dollars and how old are you 76 how old was your husband 85 what happened he fell at home and he went to the va hospital and they in turn transferred transfer into a civilian hospital and seven days later he died they don't know exactly why he died they were guessing they initially admitted him to a co-reward and then a day and a half later they changed him to a regular ward but hospital they called the psychiatrist called it a hospital psychosis he just really um he tore his clothing off he tore his medical devices off and uh uh just with a saying i'm sorry not some nice thing what was his name monroe so i do have children he has three grown children i have three grown children they're all on their own okay which one of your three children is the responsible one my daughter it didn't take didn't take long to come up with that name call her today okay well i thought about that when i first heard about your daughter and tell her and tell her you need some help okay because you're sounding bored the sounding board you used to use we're gonna change out for your daughter okay okay she's gonna be your sounding board we're gonna help you too we're not gonna leave you okay but i need her in your life walking with you as you start making these different decisions because one week after your husband passes and you all were married for many many years is not a good time well actually it was a it was a third marriage for both of us and we we had been married for 15 years many years yeah and so it's a tough day it's a tough week it's a tough year for you and i don't want you making big financial decisions like the lone ranger right now the lone ranger even needed tonto okay so let's get your we're gonna get her in your corner i'm also gonna when we get through i'm gonna put you on hold and i'm gonna have one of our coaches ramsay coaches that are certified by us help you walk you through the financial details of this and we're not going to charge you a dime it's going to be completely free okay wow thank you okay so we've got to make sure that because i don't want something like an escrow account that could just be messed up to throw you into a tizzy and cause you to sell a house while you're in the midst of this grief because it's hard to think clear right now if i'm you anyway you're right you just don't know which way to turn is there was there a life insurance policy and is the house in your name are you able to stay where you are is what i'm getting at um it was a rite of survivorship so it's out of the estate uh the estate doesn't affect it and uh are you gonna be able to buy groceries on monday uh yeah i guess i don't need a lot since i'm do you have money do you have money do you have money i i i think i think i think i do okay so here here's the first things we need to do is to make sure that you got these four walls taken care of that you've got food that you can keep the lights on and the water running you gotta some kid isn't gonna come knock on the door one of his children and say that's my house now and your name's not on the deed so that i want your daughter and the coaches will walk you through this but your daughter's gonna help you with the basics because that's to help you sleep okay and when you don't know where i'm going to get groceries if there is a life insurance policy that i'm supposed to get somewhere when you don't know those things it is scary scary scary on top of this tragic loss right right well it was totally unexpected that's right we had talked about rehab and going to that and the things he needed to do in order to get there and yeah it sounds like it's out of the blue and that those that first six months that first year that first two years can be an absolute black fog yeah and that's why you gotta have someone you love walking next to you yeah call your daughter as soon as you hang up with us and then uh we will have one of our coaches call you uh within 24 hours and we'll make sure you've got food money set up and we'll make sure that you've got a good budget and you got a good handle on where you are somebody walking with you and helping you do this stuff and again we don't need any payment from this this is uh my bible says to take care of widows and that's what i'm doing so um and it's our honor to do that for you so you hang on and jenna will pick up and we'll get you connected up with a um with a coach to help you walk through this and um because you're when you get some of the basics done like john is saying and you lay that you know food is okay and you know the lights and water is okay and you know i got a place to live suddenly it helps your mind start to clear because right now it's all jumbled up and it's uh like you're juggling flaming swords in your head or something and i'm gonna lean in and say that her her husband did this i want every husband listening to this call to hear that voice if you don't have a will if you have not sat down with your wife and said here's where this stuff is here's what the here's what happens next here's where the paper is and where the drawer is where the paper is listen to her voice i don't know if i've got food next week do not be that husband yep and why by the way wives those of you that are handling the money your husband doesn't know what's going on same goes for you you guys get on the same page and have a plan hang on jen i'll pick up and we'll take care of you anne this is the ramsay show [Music] [Music] chaos that's what it can feel like when your business is growing so fast you've outgrown your financial and accounting software the faster you grow the more likely you are to lose control of the numbers and here's the reality if you don't know your numbers you don't know your business that's why we use netsuite by oracle the number one cloud financial system over 28 000 companies use netsuite by oracle including ramsey solutions because netsuite gives us a single view of everything we need to make daily decisions whether you're making a few million to hundreds of millions a year netsuite gives you the visibility and control of the things you need to grow like your financials inventory hr planning budgeting and more all in one dashboard go to netsuite.com ramsey right now to get their free white paper jumpstart your cfo career [Music] dr john dolone ramsey personality is my co-host today guys we get it you're struggling with money it's all consuming you're wondering if your check is going to clear if you can even afford to fill up at the gas station it's always on your mind but you shouldn't have to live with this kind of stress and you don't have to when you follow a proven plan you'll discover peace with your money a budget is a money stretcher it makes your money go further and gives you a sense of power in uncertain and crazy times in financial peace university will teach you how to do that we've taught almost 10 million people how to budget save spend wisely get out of debt and become wealthy and outrageously generous watching the course online right now and joining a class even at your local church man it just changes everything knowledge in the midst of uncertainty brings peace you are transformed by the renewing of your mind decide today that you're done letting money stress rule over your life you can do this financial peace university you can do a free trial ramsey solutions dot com slash fpu check out the free trial for financial peace university at ramseysolutions.com fpu our question today comes from blinds.com they're the number one online retailer of custom window coverings incredible company free samples free shipping and with new promos all the time you'll save even more use the promo code ramsey today's question comes from shelly in tennessee and shelly writes when we got married my husband wanted to live on a budget we paid off our house which is in his name and lived debt free two years ago he suddenly stopped living on any type of budget his spending is so extreme now that money has had to be transferred from our savings to pay bills several times i had to separate my finances from his and started working full time after he continued to abuse our shared money and threatened me with divorce now he's demanding that i combine finances again to get access to my paycheck i'm trying to save for an attorney in housing if we divorce i'm not in a dangerous situation so i'm not in a hurry to divorce until i'm prepared financially i don't want to hide funds from the government but i do want to hide funds from my spouse is there any way i can protect myself financially while pacifying my spouse nope nope [Music] nope this is um time for you to sit down with a marriage counselor and with your pastor and develop um something more than a radio answer for something that's important in your life and uh but it sounds like that it's gonna what you're gonna develop with them is the ability to have a conversation with your husband that says either this or that if then now and uh it's called the ultimatum and that's where you are i think people often get abuse and we think of physical safety like i'm being hit this woman is unsafe this is financial that's right she's about psychologically uncertain homeless she's a psychological abuse this is highly trump this is a terrible environment to be in a terrible environment to be in and if they're because he's obviously involved in something right that's right he's either an addict of some that's my guess here he's an addict or he's with somebody else or something who knows or both or both that's right um and so my the one thing i want to call out here is the number of couples who are divorced and live together and torture each other they stay married but in spirit and in finances and in life they are living two separate lives they're already divorced they just never admitted it yes they like you're prepping for a divorce you're ready for divorce i'm not in a hurry well honey you've already crossed the line there then and now what you're choosing to do is torture yourself torture this guy who's clearly gone off and it's just you've made a mess this isn't something to just kind of him all around you're not safe he owns the house right all it's just a mess get with somebody a professional today he's a mess man yeah and and and make a a narrative up that says um you don't stop this we're done yeah if i'm not safe to be in my own home yeah if you you don't stop yeah the extreme spending and you don't stop the manipulation and you don't stop the out of control aspects of your life were done so i you know 30 years i i've been doing this um i'm going to give you a wild but maybe not so wild guess cocaine this fits cocaine yeah it's hyper it's hyped up uh out of control energetic frenetic he is because everything he's doing he's doing wide open and somewhat out of the blue was this way now is that randomly yeah it just fits the fits the pattern for me i'm not a professional i'm just an old guy that's seen a lot yeah and um which is kind of the same thing by the way but same exact thing that's that's the definition of wisdom right but yeah but i mean it could it may not be it may be it may be a girlfriend it may be a porn addiction this may there may be 73 prostitutes in the background on this but there's something extreme yeah there's no little tiny i'm having an emotional affair at the office that's not here or a major psychiatric is whatever some kind of blow up schism before nuts here and so i don't based on that i i i don't think when you present the either or that you're going to get an either you're just going to get an or you're probably you're going to be gone and be ready for that yeah you bet expect to be leaving instantaneously and uh go ahead and do that and you don't need a house you just need an apartment uh you know you got a paycheck just take your paycheck you've been living on that anyway and if you've paid equity into this home as part of the divorce settlement he'll have to write you a check yeah and if you see my kids he's gonna have to write child support and if you've been married a long time in most states he's going to write alimony and that's all part of the divorce and you can get the attorney later it's you don't have to stay there and you shouldn't another minute you need to go sit with someone and have someone else look at this long form not a two minute radio answer this is your life it is your marriage but that's our perception reading in from the outside that you got a mess on your hands that does not it does appear to have gone beyond the point of no return but we'll see maybe we're wrong maybe i'm wrong i hope i'm wrong hope i'm wrong so a new story as gas prices continue to increase across the nation by now pay later companies like clarna and zip have partnered with gas stations to provide consumers with options to stretch out their payments so you can fill up the old truck now and not have to worry about the payments for a while which you could have done with your stupid gas credit card anyway how stupid is this i mean it was already available to you critics of buy now pay later that would be me have pointed out evidence that consumers are having trouble keeping up with all of their pay letter payments yes they are clarner clarna and zip are man these guys are just ripping the hearts out of a certain segment of our population and feeding them back to them it's ridiculous um i mean this makes the old credit card debt thing when i first got started looked like easy this right here is just straight up evil this is this is robbing people who are struggling yeah and really what you're doing let me tell you when you finance gas or groceries in any method credit card clerna anything because you've been watching the news so much because if you watch the 24 news right now all you're hearing are people with their vocal cords really tight really dramatic really amped up over caffeinated looking at the camera screaming at you that inflation is going to kill you you're going to die of inflation you're never going to be able to eat you're never going to be able to fill up your car and you certainly will never buy a house again and it's all this evil monster inflation's fault if you and you're going to die you're going to die you're going to die it is the latest form of fear porn on the news channel if you did the matrix and barely dodged covid here comes inflation it's coming right at you well if you keep watching it'll be a tornado next i mean it's going to be unbelievable the fear porn these guys they cannot drive ratings except with adrenaline apparently hey i do i did hear this i found a place where you can get two dollar gas arby's that was two chelsea i'm sorry you're 13 years old that's true to god you're i thought that was a great joke this is the ramsey show [Music] [Music] if you're looking for ways to update your home without blowing the budget i've got it for years i've been telling you about our friends at blinds.com blinds.com makes it simple to shop top quality blinds shades and interior shutters from home with easy online ordering and free shipping with blinds.com there's no need to renovate your entire home just change out what's on your windows with upscale choices like faux wood blinds cellular and roller shades or even outdoor shades plus blinds.com guarantees the perfect fit whether you do it yourself or you have them measure and install everything for you shop their latest looks and see how much you can save at blinds.com today the easy and affordable way to make your home more beautiful is blinds.com [Music] dr john dolone ramsey personality is my co-host today in the lobby of ramsey solutions on the debt free stage brian and elena are with us hey guys how are you great welcome where do you all live brandon mississippi all right welcome to nashville how much debt have you paid off 305 thousand whoa whoa how long did this take five years wow and your range of income during that time um 160. you can get it you can get it it's about 160 to about 300 000. okay 160 to 300. oh wow what do y'all do for a living i work for a power company i'm a simulation healthcare educator wow good very cool okay so 305 000 over five years i'm gonna guess and say that might have been your house yeah that's right yeah totally different yeah look at it where people that's right i love it so cool you guys are awesome what's this house worth um with the market changes i would say about 450 000. i like it we count the market changes they're good yeah nice job well done well done well done how have you guys been doing on your investing for your 401ks and everything doing great i mean we've seen huge improvements yeah excellent so how much have you got your nest egg built too we're right now our net worth we're we're now officially millionaires baby step millionaires yeah i like it well done we actually paid off the house and became millionaires within the same year i like it that's so fun good for you how old are you guys 39 both of us both of you millionaires before you're 40. yes and paid for everything yes no more driving penny stuff happens to other people but you did it i'm so proud of y'all wow so cool okay so what happened um we decided to get focused um we downsized our vehicles and we started driving uh what we were called around town as penny pincher and stinky minnow stinky what stinky minnow what was it it was a 2012 uh chevy colorado oh you nicknamed the cars that yeah oh i thought you were calling him that well she probably called me worse but now my dad actually took the truck it was a little single cab truck without power windows or locks and uh they actually spilled a bucket of minnows in there so it had a smell in it for a while we still drove it though that's the stinky minnow i got it okay yeah you got to give these cars a nickname so now it's time to get some better cars y'all yes we did just do that we drove it here oh what did you get uh a chevy caller uh chevy silverado nice that's a good truck paid off good no mental smell at all lot less fighting in the back seat because it has a back seat yeah oh there's that yeah if you don't behave we'll put you all the way right way to go you guys okay so you decide to get serious focus in and then what happened um we wanted to be good less than teach them good lessons so we we tried to help her learn how to keep a job even when she was like 12. so she started painting mailboxes in the neighborhood and she started um pitch fitting on rover and so she actually started her roth ira so we were trying to set a good example for her but this whole process started because we wanted to change our family tree so we we grew up we we weren't um poor but we didn't have everything we wanted so we wanted to make sure that we could teach them the right way to live and that we could sustain that and um change generations to come so that was really important for us yeah very good so what can you get how much can you get paint in the mailbox that's pretty cool yeah she can't she didn't got a mic you answered yeah she was getting about 50 50 to 70 dollars a mission now like i said we we sanded it down yeah you got a couple of did good work on it oh yeah any run she learned she had to sand that down so she didn't want to spray too much in one area so it was it was a good life lesson for her so she uh she did it all over herself i mean big kudos to her she was phenomenal well i mean you do ten of those a month that turned into some money that's right yeah she made she made over three thousand that summer oh yeah that's good income she had roth ira now so yeah there you go say i couldn't even spell roth was it that's good yeah you guys that's amazing well done very well done okay now that you did it you paid off house and everything in five years and you hit the baby steps millionaires mark what do you tell people the secret to getting out of debt and building wealth is i mean really to me it's just focus you know having a common goal making sure that you know you know what you're striving toward you know setting a better example for your kids and letting them know that you know there there is a being weird is not a bad thing i guess so let me ask you this um and to two kids y'all need to do earmuffs on this one what was the mom and dad y'all make a great salary and there's gotta be mornings you woke up and opened that truck and it smelled so bad and you thought what like i'm honey well i'm done with this i'm at least getting a grown-up car because i have a grown-up right and you start rationalizing what's the biggest fight you all had really to me i think really wasn't vehicles um i think it was more vacation she's used to growing up she grew up having a lot of vacations and going from a lot of vacations to taking local trips and staying with family that was a big change for us so that was that was probably the biggest fights that we've had some good knock down drag out ones a matter of fact so we plan on taking a lot of vacations well you can go anywhere you want to go now yes you're millionaires and you don't have any debt how would you tell somebody to get through that somebody who's used to traveling like this is just the way we do summer and all of a sudden that's not how we're gonna do it for the next five years how would you coach somebody through that it's just temporary and so just plan where you want to go and just know it's just going to take a little bit longer to get there but you can do it together yeah wow now you can go yeah you can go anywhere anywhere you want to go literally i mean that's pretty impressive so very cool you guys good job outside of you guys who was your biggest cheerleaders cheering you on we had um some neighbors in our um uh neighborhood that had paid their house off and then i had some girls at work and they had paid their house off so just hearing that other people had done it and so it wasn't an impossible dream that we could actually do it too well you end up around people that are you know that are positive influence instead of a bunch of negatives that's right that's cool that makes a big difference makes a big difference and it's nice to be able to make positive influences on other people you know last year i bought all my employees the dave ramsey book and one of my employees she actually called me right before christmas and she said i'm selling my card and it's your fault well i'm gonna blame dave [Laughter] well if you're driving the minnow the stinky minnow then you can you can probably do that that'll work yeah i should have told her have i got a truck for you [Laughter] sorry but i don't feel sorry yeah it's going to be worth it no discipline seems pleasant at the time but it yields a harvest of righteousness you guys are amazing i'm so proud of you well done and i love 75 mailboxes this is not one i've heard i will repeat this and tell people tell teenagers in other cities i won't create competition for you but i'll tell teenagers in other cities that they should do this well i've heard that if your kids work that they just vanish they die and so i'm seeing somebody who worked hard and did really well and now is planning for a future beyond most adults these days so good for you have you had the fir have you all had the first paycheck deposit that's all yours oh yeah feels good huh it does it feels real good it's like where did it all come from what oh where was it all cars where was it all going so well love it guys we got a copy of baby steps millionaires for you you are one but you should have been in there but you now you know what it looks like and uh you'll be able to share that with someone else maybe and also a copy of total money makeover for you to share to someone else pay it forward so good stuff well done you guys all right it's 305 000 paid off in five years making 160 to 300 brian elena adeline and fisher from jackson mississippi count it down let's hear a debt free scream one two three [Music] [Applause] house and everything we're looking at weird people here oh man that's about as fun as it gets i'll just tell you making their kids work pretty pretty stinking incredible i'm working hard it's amazing yeah i love it very well done very well done kids disappear if they work huh who knew [Laughter] [Music] this is the ramsey show [Music] [Music] so [Music] our scripture today isaiah 40 31 but those who hope in the lord will renew their strength they will soar on wings like eagles they will run and not grow weary they will walk and not be faint vince lombardi said confidence is contagious so is lack of confidence you know that's true and the thing that comes up is um thinking about the studies that show that uh if your three closest friends are obese the height the probability that you will be is unbelievably high if your three closest friends of your ten closest friends your income will be the average of your 10 closest friends um and these are people that have influence and the last debt free screamer said you know i had this person paid off this neighbor paid off their house this coworker paid off their house and there were people around them even at one degree of separation that we're paying off their houses and that increases the probability that you're gonna pay off your house very high and earlier we had a caller from who's a multi-millionaire who hung out with a bunch of people that said our parents aren't gonna make it and then the times is here and they call us saying hey are we going to be okay and they're in their 50s and they got a net worth of two points something million dollars not including the real estate and it yeah you're gonna be okay right so it's who you hang out with you're yeah you nailed it yeah there's a the and the data on the that if you know someone that knows someone that you don't have one degree of separation how that impacts things like wealth uh income uh marital stability uh obesity uh it's crazy the impact that community has on you that you're you know wondering out two rings out of your community that you and the thing is you can choose that yeah uh you can choose you know if you're gonna if you're gonna get sober continuing to run around with your old drinking buddies probably ain't gonna work out hello and there's so much power in this idea of a picture somebody that looks i can see myself in this that's why debt free screams are so important because they cover such a broad range of different people it's easier to see one group as a couple and be like ah that's not us we've found one that looks like i can go oh i could see myself doing that i know somebody who's done this my friend has done this that means i can do it that's so powerful yep it does change everything someone from our community someone from our city some from one from our region someone that has an accent that sounds like ours so here's what's important when i find myself in these negative cycles and i'm just being honest like the news been hard and for some reason this particular cycle is got me down i the the further down the oh no rabbit hole i go i've now been with myself long enough to stop and say where where am i getting input from who am i getting input from and invariably it's i'm not talking to real people enough and i'm on my phone too much almost almost all the time yeah are you following someone on facebook that is in your past and should have stayed in your past right yes but you're real concerned about what they're doing yeah and they're they're really not in your future they're in your past nothing to do with who you are now and all that's doing is feeding your your stinking mind you're stinking thinking that's what all uh ziggler used to say zig ziglar the stinking thinking and um you know it it that stuff is real it's very very real it's real it ha there's data to back it up there's research to back it up and if you just think about it it rings true with your heart when you hear it that you become who you hang around with right so do not evil company corrupts good habits in your life yeah it's very real it matters a lot that you do that and so it's um you know who you hanging around with are your buddies you know are they running around on their wife right or are there you know well let me just tell you your likelihood of infidelity just went through the roof right i mean because you're just hanging out with people that normalize this misbehavior you know it's just not okay um are you hanging out with people who say this is not okay right you know it changes everything it changes everything so it's good stuff confidence is contagious so is lack of confidence courage is contagious so is lack of courage and when you stand up and say as for me and my house we're not doing this yep we're not going to be those people you give people around you permission and sometimes it takes you being that person if one person will stand up and say i'm staying here i'm standing here to fight i'm staying here we don't do this in our house you give somebody else permission to say well yeah then we don't either right and it just takes one one person yeah because they were thinking it anyway yeah you just you just gave voice to what they were already thinking yeah you know we're as for me and my house we don't borrow money yeah and you know we're it's for me and my house we give a lot we're not in my house we will be outrageously generous we're gonna be known for our tipping we're gonna be known for these things and uh it just it changes everything when you do that and we're gonna be known for excellence we're gonna be knowing for showing up on time we're gonna be known for whatever i mean you you list it out and you just make that decision and i love when i'm hearing your podcast and you're talking about you know starting to say the values of the family that's what deliveries are that's right this is who it alone is it's who a ramsay is as for as for me and my house this is who we are and uh and you're giving identity then to the whole family yeah that this is who we are and families do that negatively too oh yeah we oh we're we're just not an exercising family or we're we're a pizza family or uh we're uh what like we just aren't good with money fam the worst one i ever heard on that was henry cloud was on the show one day and uh ladies said well you know we have a obesity in our family no one it runs in our family and he said no no one runs in your face oh gosh of course henry said that come on cloud no no one runs in your family [Laughter] but you know that's the thing right there you just you know our family just has you know we're all we're all just have tempers well and then here's what you know it gets hard nope we're just we're we're not those kind of people we're we're poor that's who we are yeah we don't have we don't drive cars like that we don't buy houses and then and then if someone if one of your cousins decides he's going to make a little money you go oh you're getting above your races you're getting above your ratings yeah i always wondered what a rate why why raisin came into this a shriveled up grape how did this come into this or the yeah we raised you to be less than you better get back down on the ground where we better you better be poor like everybody else i mean come on you uppity yeah oh yeah and you can do that with a southern accent or you can do that with an author so we've met with my fair share of parents who are we're lawyers in this family we're doctors that kid's not going to go be a missionary that kid's not gonna go be a teacher this is who we are it's like well that's who your daughter is so she you can choose be in a relationship with her or not but she's gonna go teach or she's going to the mission field or whatever right so it all comes back to uh who are we here's the thing yeah the point of all this is if you will intentionally decide okay this is who we are yeah and just start and then just start saying it and start doing it you know over time it is absolutely proven that you will become that yep you know we're just people that do this okay then we do this and then didn't do this when you don't your kid this may be the pot talking to the kettle hey we we the delonies we tip well that's what we're kind of known for we tip well we're gonna always honor these folks and then the one time i just scribble in five bucks hit my six-year-old goes daddy we we tip well and you're like okay i see what i mean so put a one in front of you right so they'll keep everybody keeps everybody accountable that's what community does that's right that is it and and so that's why it's important for people that are wanting to engage in spiritual growth to actually attend if you run to people yeah actually attend a church yes and and uh it's the problem with online only yeah uh you actually need to be in community you need to be in physical proximity that's right with these humans that you want to be like yes and uh it will cause you to be like them and it doesn't work online you can't zoom it in no you can't zoom it out you can't zoom it in yeah it's communication not connection man it's uh it's there's and there's more about communication that happens in a physical proximity than in any other way right and so this is just real y'all yeah and um it's it's a big deal it's a big deal so that all comes from that vince lombardi quote there kind of got us on this ramp but it's a good rant so if you want to be debt-free and generous start running around with people who want to be debt-free and generous if you want to be people who read books instead of watch tv start running around with people who read books instead of watch tv and that hug their spouse and hug their kids and that are right upstanding good generous courageous people just pick who you want to be and make sure those are the people in your life doesn't mean you're not nice to the other ones just means you're not they're not your posse that's all it means that puts us our the ramsay show in the books we'll be back with you before you know it in the meantime remember there's ultimately only one way to financial peace and that's to walk daily with the prince of peace christ jesus [Music] hey it's john deloney co-host of the ramsay show did you know over 18 million people listen to the ramsay show every week a lot of those people listen on one of our 600 plus radio stations across the country to find a station near you go to ramseysolutions.com [Music] you

Channel: The Ramsey Show

Views: 207,440

Keywords: dave ramsay live, dave ramsey, dave ramsey channel, dave ramsey live, dave ramsey live show, dave ramsey live stream, dave ramsey podcast, dave ramsey radio show, dave ramsey show, dave ramsey show full show, dave ramsey show live, ramsey, ramsey solutions, the dave ramsey show, the dave ramsey show live

Id: HD2TPuBGyFo

Length: 124min 20sec (7460 seconds)

Published: Thu Mar 17 2022