DON'T ignore your BIRTHDAY - it's more important than you thought

however one thing we all have in common is a birthday which means everybody we could agree about one thing everybody on Earth has a birthday I like that there are not many things that we all can agree upon but that we can because everybody is born and everybody was born a particular day it is true that our grandparents I remember my grandmother and I remember others never really remembered what birthday it was my grandmother would always say she knew it was after a big snow in January you know one of those type of things I guess that there was a point where Maybe people are more secretive but but the bottom line is everybody has a birthday which means everybody has the moment the day that we emerge on this Earth now there are many uh we all look in life for for resources for assets for uh powers in order to deal with life struggles life has many challenges and they uh that opposed to us on a daily basis some are easier to handle some are not that easy and of course we look for tools we like to have a good Arsenal a tool chest of um um I don't want to call it weapons necessarily but we'll say it's instruments and tools to be able to deal with various issues we deal with and at times we feel sometimes inadequate where we don't have the tools with instruments or the methodology but as often is the case that often that our greatest assets are right near us and we're not even aware of it you can have a resource that can be a very powerful one and you may not even know it exists and the reason for that is because we don't always look right inside ourselves and we can't always see what's inside of ourselves like what potential do you really have you know at times we find that we're faced with a particular challenge and we didn't even know it and we rise to the occasion and suddenly you find and discover new strengths that you never imagined you had which frankly is most of our discoveries in life are quote unquote accidents like that they don't come planned they come based on a circumstance suddenly there's a crisis a challenge uh difficulty an impediment you're faced with something you didn't expect that's what experiences the World Experience comes from basically the trial and error of life and often we do learn that we have strengths that we could never have imagined that's to tell you that how many other strings do we have within us that we also can you have yet to discover so just as a a lesson in its own even without getting into the details of this discussion in this class the lesson always is there's never a room truly for resignation and for fatalism and for hopelessness because just use your common sense um we do not know everything we have inside of us so to make a suggestion I can't deal with the situation you can say I don't know how to deal with it but you cannot make a statement that I don't have the resources you can say I don't know how to access them I don't know where they are and indeed as I said we have no idea what our potential really is like because no one's ever dug in into your inner most psyche or soul and what powers we truly have you know the kabbalists and the Hasidic Masters describe a person's faculties in terms of some multi-dimensional meaning what we're aware of are what's called in Hebrew are revealed faculties what does that mean let's just start a very basic level you have your eyesight you have your power of hearing power of smell and beginning with really the most rudimentary senses are five senses and the power of eyesight you know we even if you have 20 20 vision there's a certain limitation what you could see which you can't see you can't see through a wall for example you can't see around a corner but the good Vision gives you a good eyesight if you don't have that good Vision what do you do is you get corrective lenses as some of us have that helps uh supplement that which is lacking same thing with our hearing the same thing with other there's a phrases called revealed faculties which pretty much can be measured and tested um how good is your hearing how good is your site how good is your sense of smell and other senses the same is true with our other faculties intelligence for example there's a certain revealed amount of intelligence whether it's an IQ test if you believe in that or this type of tester that type of test you know some people have for example strength very well in in deductive reasoning for instance very analytical others are extremely good in in a certain intuition some people are very good at the physical sciences like mathematics physics others are far better with the emotional Sciences so people have different types of intelligence which too can be measured based on observation so all remember conscious revealed experiences in our faculty and down the list whether it's our mind whether it's our emotions whether it's our other skills that we have that uh that that are either inborn meaning in innate from birth or things we've developed they can be measured to a certain extent because these are revealed to yourself and to others the power of for example communication you can see communication some people are better communicators than others there are many things you can learn to be a better Communicator anyway I think I explained enough that's called what we call revealed faculties then they go talk about the next Dimension which is called These are hidden faculties hidden faculties means you don't see it but it's the potential like for example let's say let's say you're a writer and you've written a book or you've written articles or essays or Communications of what sort we all know that if you can write one article you could probably write another article question is how much potential do you have see even though we're aware of measuring what you're capable of of what you've done rather what's what's consciously revealed but how much lies behind that that's potentially there and we of course know potential is always greater than actual that's a mathematical fact so but what type of potential we're not really aware of so that would be quick because the loan would be essentially for example let's say you threw a stone you can throw a stone uh hundreds feet is that your capacity or maybe if you trained yourself you trained me you could end up throwing them 200 feet you can lift 100 pounds of weight 200 weights you can run five miles but we all know with conditioning you suddenly can learn to not run 10 miles and 15 miles and 20 miles there will be a limit even with all the conditioning in the world the human beings after all the human being so two people conditioned the same way one may have naturally more muscle tone or muscle power than another same thing with brain power so now we're talking about beyond the actual which is how what we actually right now can measure the way your your the capacity of your mind or the capacity of your senses or the capacity of other strengths we have there's now also the next step which is what are you capable of and we all know that we're always capable of more than what we have so let's I just gave physical examples let's say I said you know may take conditioning it may take training but you could always do more than what you're doing right now in any given area so where is that coming from why is that not obviously revealed because it comes from something that's somewhat beneath the surface it's like saying a car may have you may drive a car at let's say 60 70 miles an hour but it has horsepower to go 180 miles an hour now you may never use it but it has that ability same thing with humans you know it's harder to measure in those type of numbers but whatever we have you can rest assured there's more that has not yet been accessed so that again is already very life affirming it means you always have more than what you think you have or what's up visible let's put it that way then comes the next Dimension and this obviously as you go deeper in it gets more complicated and more subtle and harder to fully understand and the next would be called essential these are already not just um hidden faculties but these we're talking about now our faculties at their core level and let me just give an example um I remember I'm sure everybody remembers in their class you had classmates some people were just smarter literally had more brain power than others and they usually were the ones that were they picked up things quicker and uh sure okay there you go yeah the a book is a person is not always as good as the book they wrote let's remember that that's true so so so for example in all classmates we have we have in school you know people who have literally just born with with more intelligence or I guess I don't say intelligence I would say with more brain power ability to pick up quicker and so on but then there are students and I I I remember a few very well in my class and my young years where they uh we didn't have such you know their minds may not have been as good as some others but they really worked hard they exerted themselves they strained themselves and with time they became in many ways surpassed even people with better Minds why because a mind is just as I said before it's not just what you have it's also what you can access and a person may have uh you know you may have a person let's say that one person may be able to have their muscles if they condition then train themselves would be able to run let's say a a 20 mile marathon in a shorter period of time than someone who has weaker muscles but if that person is more conditioned they can run faster and longer than someone with less conditioning even though the form of one with more muscles may not have the may have more power but they didn't access it so what does exertion do what does effort do what does training do it can actually access powers that you may not be that may not be revealed that's on the hidden level but then there's a place as I said the third dimension is we're talking now getting like to the core you know think of it like getting to the core where the energy source the mouth of the well of where these faculties originate from in the spirit in the soul and that requires a lot more effort obviously and a lot more um a certain say commitment to be able to access that power now there's more levels but I just don't want to go it's not the theme of this discussion here that's why I don't want to go into all the levels there are another two levels that I didn't mention but the bottom line is our soul or some called our psyche has tremendous amount of power as it travels from the subconscious super conscious which means the inner most regions and the innermost recesses of our soul to the outer obviously the power gets diminished like it is with anything if you think of let's say eruption of a volcano you can rest assured whatever is happening on the surface within the core of the volcano is far more turbulent and far more powerful so we see if you go over Yellowstone Park you see the geysers where you see other Expressions whether it's a volcano eruption or it's a geyser or any other thing what we see is just the surface of what's really happening far beneath the surface so essentially think of ourselves our faculties are the same thing what you see in a person's Behavior and the way they uh function is what you see on the surface then if you go a step below leave the surface we call them the concealed faculties but concealed can be concealed and just not revealed today but tomorrow you can see it it's just a matter of fact something is concealed in a box and you open up the box and you see there's more power to it but then there's a level that's concealed that you actually can't even access it directly because it's not like just hidden and you have to reveal it I'll just give an example one of the examples given in the Hasidic literature is the difference between a hot coal and a Flintstone okay a hot a hot call as you know a call that is uh that you see is blazing or has been you know you could see it so it's red that fires are coming but sometimes you see hot coals and to an untrained eye or someone who doesn't know it may even look burned out it may have already been after you can sometimes you can't tell the difference between very hot calls white hot calls and calls that have already burned out unless God forbid you touch it or you fan it so where's the flame in those hot coals the answer is it's concealed it's there and it's contained within the in the coals if you fan it or you get closer to it you start you feel that heat and many ways that heat can be even more than a coal that is Ablaze that a coal that is clearly a red coal or something that you see now a Flintstone is different a Flintstone even if you fan it you're not going to get anything out of it Flintstone you have to strike it you strike it hard and this is a spark and that spark actually can light a fire so if you try to open up the stone you're not going to find any Sparks if you touch it you're not going to get burned as a matter of fact you could put a Flintstone in water and it doesn't extinguish the capacity for it to give off Sparks a hot call you put in water it burns out so there you have like three dimensions you have a coal a fire open revealed fire that would be like the reveal faculty the hidden power is that which is there but it's just not obvious right now but it's right there beneath the surface and then there are powers that are called those that are so within the in the core they're not even in any form of fashion yet any type of flame but if you strike it if there's a crisis or if there's any other type of serious exertion you can access even those powers so it's fascinating if you think about it because then we could basically have a model a formula for educating and training people you begin with what you have what you see you have you know you can always assess a person's conscious reveal faculties then you work on trying to help a person fan the flame so to speak and discover what is beneath the surface that doesn't require a lot of effort and then there's what requires a lot of effort which is the exertion or the equivalent of striking the Flintstone and that can be a crisis that can be also exertion strong effort I mean like when you have when you struggle through something we all know when you're reading something or researching or you have to you have to prepare a paper or in school or whatever it may be or a presentation at work there are times you really struggle and it's really difficult so we all think I wish it wasn't so difficult but frankly the difficulty is like striking the Flintstone it actually elicits the capacity to be to to reach into the core and we all see and I mean I just expect I have this experience on a daily basis almost because when you're writing you're always in this situation with this frustration you don't have the total Clarity and so on the exertion the thing we hate most which is all that effort and even the confusion that precedes Clarity ends up creating a crystallization that you can never reach without that exertion the equivalent of reaching Sparks in the Flintstone so basically essentially it's like another expression used sometimes is coming from Hanukkah is a fitting expression of pressing an olive and and and uh and and therefore and eliciting it's oil you can't get the oil without pressing it so bottom line there are things that are up that are at the surface that you can access there are things that need a little effort and then the things need a lot of effort and that a lot of effort reaches deeper into your Soul's powers so some were to ask you or to me or anyone what are you capable of you could at best say I know what I've accomplished or what I'm what I think I can accomplish what I do right now but we don't know necessarily what's going on in the hot coal that is not so revealed and definitely we don't know what's going on in the Flintstone Dimension where it's so hidden that you need to strike it you cannot dissect it and say it's there and that's why we do indeed find as I mentioned situations in life will challenge you if you don't retreat and you don't uh shy away in fear they challenge you can help you what they call Rising to the occasion you suddenly see a person has capacities and abilities that we're not that were not obvious before you wonder where did it come from it was there but it required a strike it required either a crisis a challenge sometimes it's competition there's an expression sometimes healthy competition like academic competition where there's a let's say an essay competition or other forms of competitions so when you have flown that you're challenging you it'll push you further and the same is even true in in sports and Athletics and so on you hear all the time the greatest players they'll always say it was my opponent that made me greater because I kept losing so I had to dig deeper and if you don't have an opponent like that you'd never reach necessarily that capacity so so overall this introduction I'm beginning here the bottom line is we have more resources than we ever think we have but often because we're subjective and we have blind spots and we therefore can convince ourselves no I'm weaker than I really am that's why it's important to have a friend a mentor someone objective that can say to you you have more than you think you have and that's what good coaches are what's a good coach they don't create anything for you a coach cannot turn uh a stone into a piece of wood a coach can't take someone that doesn't have the capacity to do something to have the capacity can take the talent that you have and acts and accentuate and amplify it learn the good methods learn good good habits learn the right routines build confidence these are all forces that are necessary but they don't necessarily directly give you that particular strength you have that strength and a good culture good even a good parent a good educator will recognize that you know if we're lucky in life and we went through goods and we had a good teacher or Mentor that recognized a skill that we may have had they may have been changed your life because they helped you recognize it and they helped Foster it and build the confidence and tell you to work on it sometimes we don't have that on the contrary we sometimes have detractors the naysayers you know the people are always telling us you're not capable those are doing the exact opposite they cause us to have lack of confidence and invalidation and you don't even try anymore because you feel you're going to fail so all this is a process which is not if you think about it's a lot of common sense the big difficulty is it's always easier to help others and to help yourself you know you often criticize others you can give people better how many times have you given mothers advice that you yourself don't even take we're all guilty of that so don't feel join welcome to the club um and that's because not because we don't have the capacity but we're blinded when it comes to ourselves we don't see ourselves clearly if you want a good example I always use this example because I always find it amusing you know I have a lot of recordings you know videos audios and so on until this day I still don't like to hear myself on recording I hear myself I say I don't how anybody can listen to this guy you know do you ever hear yourself a recording very few people I mean I guess anchor people and singers and others are forced to kiss to keep hearing themselves till they really perfect it but the first time you hear yourself in a recording what does it sound like to you it doesn't sound like me but that's the voice everybody hears you're the only one doesn't hear because your diaphragm or whatever it is is like you know you hear your own voice not the same way that others do even though you have ears but I think I guess you're hearing it coming from here more like I'm not sure the analysis of it but one thing is for sure it doesn't sound like what you think it would sound like right um I was just listening to myself today I had to have to had to make some notes of something so I was listening and I you know I had to cringe what can I say um and I'm not I'm plenty self-confident don't worry about that it's not the problem just we don't see ourselves and we don't hear ourselves as others hear us that's the bottom line it's just an example that we have we're subjective and one and that's why you know so point being is this that that we have a lot more than we think we have and it's right there beneath the surface of your own being you don't have to go to any store you don't need any program you don't need any class including this one to discover that what a good class can do or like a good coach a good teacher a good inspiration is can help you find the tools to access those resources and as I said the methodologies and good habits and routines and of course some objectivity that you're capable of really um uh accessing but not just accessing sustaining access to it now this is a long introduction to the topic of birthday why why did I give this introduction because a birthday is maybe one of the best kept secrets your birthday which once a year comes around many of us enjoy our birthdays I have to be honest there are people who don't they're people who hate their birthdays it's usually unfortunately sad if you hear someone does not like their birth it's usually a sign of some form of abuse in their lives why would they hate their birthday because their birthday was a day where either they were reminded of Pair by parents who didn't want them who hurt them it was a time when sometimes many people will just let me people who've been hurt will say my birthday was the worst day of my life because everybody May believe like I was special but they didn't treat me that way all year round and I was supposed to pose for pictures and get gifts that everything should look picture perfect but beneath the surface was not that way at all and some people have the same attitude the holidays and generally going home but I I was just mentioning it simply to qualify I want to address those that may find their birthdays not very meaningful or very pleasant but as I shall discuss I think everybody even those of us that may hate their birthdays it's like hating yourself if you hate your birthday to be very honest and just because others hate you you don't need to start hating yourself but we'll talk more about that shortly so a birthday is a gift even without birthday gifts the birthday itself is one of the greatest assets we have and I'll explain why but as I said the introduction it's like those assets that you don't they're not obvious you know most of us would think of birthday okay it's a nice day damn to me it's special to people who love me it's special once a year everybody remembers that I'm around hopefully send me gifts birthday cards different greetings etc etc but there's a lot more to it than than meets the eye because essentially if you think about it a birthday is really the moment and the day that you emerged from your mother's womb into this world now you could say well the big thing about that that's just a circumstantial whatever thing that happens everybody at some point emerges but that's not the case that's not how Judaism and especially the mystics to see it because events like that are major you know if you think so and says to what's the most special events of time in your life so many people will say when they made a lot of money when they found someone they love they fell in love the first time you know different uh birthday is not available everything begins then the journey your journey and this Earth begins in your birthday so is that a small matter that's like the beginning of everything if you can understand that Point of Departure maybe everything else would be put into context so the way the the way to phrase it would be like this the day you were born the day you were born is the day when heaven and the cosmos determined that the world cannot exist without you that's a very different way of looking at it as just as someone popped out on Earth or as I put in my book you mentioned my book you're talking about totally meaningful life okay so until the meaningful life of a chapter on birth and in the beginning there's a quote the quote is birth is God saying you matter so if you think of it that way it's a whole different story it's not just some type of little thing it's essentially the validation the affirmation the first time when you came to this world first time when you were born is when the world was given a gift called you and it was very deliberate and very intentional it's not an accident so it isn't just a celebration of your parents who had a new child that's not the celebration for family and for yourself it's actually the whole universe celebrates that's the way Jewish thought looks at the birth of every human being because it sees a human being as the Bible puts it as created in a Divine image we're not just another little detail created the Divine image and that you play a role an indispensable role to in this world and have an indispensable mission that you and only you can accomplish and that's what your birthday is saying that mission began the moment you were born the moment you were conceived the process began but you were not yet functional then you're not your independent entity until the moment when the umbilical cord is cut and I know many of us have to cut that umbilical cord many times in our lives figuratively speaking but on a physical level when you become an independent entity it breathes and eats and drinks on its own even though you're still a vulnerable child is your birthday and the second thing that's important to remember that in Jewish thought the mystical thoughts I've mentioned this many times time is not linear which means sometimes you hear the river of time past present future like a river in the mystics explain that time is actually more like a cycle or I should save a more accurate spiral so spiral means time is that it goes on an axis and every year when your birthday comes back to your birthday it's not just you remembering you were born 10 and 20 30 years ago whatever one's ages but actually that moment goes back to the point in time the point on that axis and that cycle and that spiral when you were born when everything is renewed it's like the renewal of your mission then so birthday isn't just a commemoration it's actually a recreation and that's the same it's true for the record for holidays or any holiday isn't just remembering something that happened but every year Passover the events that happened the first time are re happening again they may not be happening in the physical sense of it but spiritually whatever happened then is happening now so on a person's birthday all that energy all the cosmos that made the decision that you should be here on Earth they all renew your contract so the birthday therefore is literally every year that same celebration it's recreating and revisiting that same point that same point in energy and time when you first were born that's why a birthday is more than just a commemoration it's actually a recreation of a repeat of obviously on a different axis of the Spiral but the same point and that's why it has that type of power as a matter of fact I'll mention it and again recently we recently developed a birthday kit called a birthday guide a gift which if you give me your birthdays I'll be happy to send to you as my gift to you and how to make understand what a birthday is and how to make it more meaningful but we'll talk about that again more then but there's some of the ideas that I share here so you don't mind afterwards so that's right there I don't know if it's whether it's today or tomorrow or coming up or I mean at some point you will have a birthday that I know so the question is just to know what day it is so going back to the birthday therefore if you think of it that way birth is God saying you matter so I can't resist to share this story because it's such a powerful story that really captures it it's actually unfortunately through it through the sad through a tragic experience but but uh nevertheless sometimes sad events help illuminate for all of us the power of what birth is so this is a story that I've written and spoken and probably told I don't know it's a baby hundreds of thousands of people have heard from me over the years after my book tour of Munich life was published so the publisher William Morrow sent me on a book tour a book tour across the country this first tour was for 20 cities 20 cities then it became 40 cities and ended up being 90 cities so I was I made my I paid my dues so I always say I've been around um almost like a presidential candidate now that I think about it you know had I known I could have run for president you don't need to have an office in every state to win right that's been proven um I'm fine that's just a joke I'm not don't get afraid we have you know I'm not doing that um anyway uh so one of the Cities I ended up was St Louis St Louis Missouri and I spoke there remember it was a Monday and evening it was a particularly large crowd not because of me frankly but because that was the night that in the JCC's all across the United States they all designated that night to be Memorial night for um prime minister Robin this is called Robin after he was assassinated so that night that's how I remember the night and there were maybe 2 000 people who came to the evening and many stayed because of my talk but they came for that but since I was I was the speaker and that which was pre-scheduled maybe it was in order to get the story to make this this encounter that took place after I get back to New York I received a letter from one of the people in attendance at that evening in St Louis and the letter was etched in my soul till this day so I can say to you almost verbatim which I will the letter said like this dear Robbie Jacobson I was one of the people in your audience and when you spoke in St Louis and I want to share the following I'm a 47 year old executive that works in a prominent firm here in St Louis and well respected wealthy well connected by all measures and accounts I am definitely a success story well that's what everybody thinks but the truth is beneath the veneer of My Success lies a woman in shreds these are her words you see my soul was murdered when I was a young child due to the abuse I endured in my home and she's explicit says psychological emotional sexual abuse that killed my soul and not once but every day keeps killing it and it's messed up my entire life relationships don't work intimacy is always unhealthy I don't trust I constantly test people they test me it's a mess I've tried different types of therapy nothing has worked what do people like me do people who lose inner control of their lives so they create outer control I became super ambitious and driven and I'm competitive and aggressive and made it on the so-called the business corporate Financial level executive level but it really doesn't do much it's just somewhat numbs the pain and I've long given up hope so what I do is I just breathe in every day and just take day by day often I'm feel suicidal but I just take it day by day and that's how I live I don't really share this with anyone I don't talk about it but someone gave me a copy of your book toward a meaningful life I'm Jewish but unaffiliated I never go to synagogue I have no affiliations one of the reasons is also because of what I grew up with and I was just browsing I was leafing through the book and the line jumped out at me in the chapter on birth the line was birth is God saying you matter that was the LIE and I read it again birth is God saying you matter and I read it a third time birth is God saying you matter and suddenly 47 years it took me to get to this point like a silver bullet between my eyes something resonated touched a very deep chords in the deepest part of my soul that told me that despite what others say despite what your parent my parents told me that I'm an accident and reminding me how I'm miserable and how I'm worthless and I'm just a painter them despite what they did to me despite what Society despite what Society tells us that we our value is no more than a statistic on someone's balance sheet and that a value is based on our looks and youth and buying power and equity and performance you probably added a few more things I don't even remember despite all that I matter to the one that matters most that's God the mere fact that God put me on this Earth I gave and I and I was I was born in the world that alone is a vote of confidence that God said I want you I need you you're indispensable so no matter what I accomplished something that day whether I perform whether I live up to someone's expectations it doesn't matter that's what that's the only thing that matters and then she concludes and you can call this eloquent if it weren't under the circumstances she writes so though I have years to have many years to heal but for the first time in my life I have hope because I don't know what I need to do now I need to create bypass surgery to bypass the infected arteries that were so polluted and and injured by the abuse I endured and reconnect to that pure moment when I was born that pure Moment Like freshly fallen snow when God said you're my child I love you unconditionally I need you and you are you matter and then she concludes so thank you for giving me back my life this is the letter 20 almost 20 years ago now you could imagine and even when I say it now same feelings I had when I first read it I was like so emotionally overwhelmed by it I was crying and uh you know firstly uh complete strangers never met me sharing such a sacred Trust and um and actually went back to the book to be honest to read the chapter because even though I wrote it but you know a book once you write it it belongs to the readers not to the writer readers read as they see what they have to read what they read into it so I wanted to see it from her eyes so obviously I read it with a different type of feeling that line I mean I know where I took it from and I know what I meant but you know until you see it how it really saved a person's life I mean that's that's pretty uh awesome and humbling I wrote her back of course a note on offering my help and support in any way I asked her permission to tell the story but she gave me and she told me not to mention her name and we still stay in touch 20 years later she's uh you know um and she asked me not to give her name because she says I'm sure other people have similar stories they may want to contact me and they want to help me and so on I don't need that um and of course I respect that and that's fine and she still struggles it's not like it's all solved you know but she does have a plan and it works for her and she's no longer this woman in shreds as you put it that she's no longer a Murdered Soul because she's discovered her purpose she's still successful in her way but she's discovered something and this letter as I said besides sharing it it's always haunted me frankly and since it haunted me and I'm a speaker and a writer I make sure it haunts others as well that's what you do you know and what do I mean by haunted because it's it struck a chord in me as well I started thinking to myself and I started asking myself and people that I meet and I ask you the same thing do you think you matter so the first it's always encountered that question people chuckle and they Snicker or whatever it is you know of course I matter I have a healthy ego I have plaques on the wall in case you need proof I have family that says I'm adorable and I'm great I did this I did that you know we all have our accomplishments real imagine doesn't matter so people wait a minute of course I matter so then let me rephrase the question if you were never born would it make a difference to anybody would it have made a difference to anybody now that's a very different question once we're born and once we exist it's called circumstantial value then of course we figure out ways to justify our existence but if you were never born remember it wouldn't be a tragedy if you didn't appear because no one's expecting you so it's like something's missing it's once you're here yeah you try to make your life meaningful and many people do I'm not taking that away but on a cosmic level do you absolutely matter seven billion people on Earth what would really be different if you didn't exist even very arrogant people have difficulty answering that one you know um and then I've seen I've seen people become uneasy when I ask this question because then you start wondering I can tell you people have told me well you put it that way I don't know if I really matter on that level on a cosmic level and an indispensable level I matter to my circle my sphere of influence my family friends workers people I contribute to in one way or another and many people say I'm not sure I matter on that level or actually some people have said I don't my point is not to make anybody uncomfortable my point is just to drive the point and to make a point and I and I said to myself the same question I said look I'm the oldest of five children okay um so I'm the first child my parents and of course our first child is often a little more spoiled than the others as my siblings will testify too as I always say the advantages of being first born is you don't have to go to therapy for your siblings but they have may have to go for because of you I don't know if that's a positive or negative but whatever it is um and the so yes do I matter because my parents told me they love me and pictures of me and they they cuddle me and you know they uh whatever they do until parents do is that why I matter and what if that's the case then one day let's say God forbid my parents wake up and decide I'm not that valuable so what my stocks Go Down based on their mood so I'm not taking away parents can validate our value because that our value is based on that this woman in St Louis didn't have that luxury she did not grow up in a home where she had that validation or nurturing and so on and that's why for 47 years she had no clue and contrary she thought she had absent not only didn't she matter she thought she was a complete loser failure she loads herself but you know because of that she came to a truth that I did not come to and that many of us don't come to now they say the eclipse of the sun reveals a part of the Sun that sunlight does not reveal it reveals the corona the core because she was eclipsed and she did not have parents in a community and family Educators that gave her value she came to the deepest truth of all and that was that our we matter not because our parents are good to us or because people tell us we're matter because as I said that can fluctuate we matter because God the creator of it all put us here shows that you be here and that nobody can take away from you you know why because no one gave it to you not your parents and not your workers and not anyone on Earth now if healthy parents will validate that we'll confirm that we'll reinforce that but they don't create that Unfortunately they have the power to convince a child that the child doesn't matter even though God created them but she came to that Clarity and I wrote to her this once I said I want to thank you because I don't envy and I'm sure you would prefer to have had not have to come to this so-called truth and just have had it naturally from parents and and family and environment that would have supported that but the fact is you come to the real truth that is the truth and then I started developing my own little theories that maybe the drive for ambition the drive for Success that many of us have is because maybe it's somewhere in our subconscious we have a fear an existential fear we don't really matter so we're constantly doing things to say I'm important is look at this look at that and I'm not saying all those things are bad things some things are really good people do do things that help the world but maybe it's somewhat of uh coming from a place because you know do I really matter but I'll leave that that's a theory I'm not going to suggest that every drive for ambition and success is based on that even though I lean toward thinking that way so you so you think about it you see then birthday takes on a whole new shape but that's why I shared the story because the story really captures I think in a very raw and very primally what the power of a birthday is your birthday is the day when everything in your life has begun there's nothing you do on this world any second that did not begin at the moment you were born because that's when your journey began if you were not chosen and your soul was not sent to this earth your whole life would not exist and it was chosen because yes you have something unique to contribute that you and only you can contribute which is what explains why no two people are alike no two people look alike either even siblings not two people have same personality no people think alike this is a talmudic statement why because we're not clones I remember this day my son came home from school he was a little kid he was so excited it excited me today I remembered he doesn't that's how it works and he said to me I said why are you so excited men don't lose his name actually his birthday is tonight right um tomorrow and he said to me he heard today a great line that was you were born original don't become a copy it's a great line of course we were born original don't become a copy and we become copies in Robert Frost's memorable poem the roads less traveled and most people choose the roads most traveled on he says and I as he says two roads diverged in the wood and I I chose The Road Less Traveled and that has made all the difference now it's all very cool cool people love to say I'm an out of the box person I'm a non-conformist I take The Road Less Traveled if that that was the case that the then that everybody's an unconformist and there wouldn't be any real uh Pioneers the fact is it's not the case we like to think we're out of the box and we think we're Originals but the fact that matter much more than we may imagine I've talked about this a few weeks ago we're deeply influenced more than anyone even knows by what others expect of us what others think of us the fear of what they will say if I do or do that or not do something you don't have many people that have that that complete independent spirit and some that do are not necessarily healthy either they're going to maybe go other overboard the other way so it's not some things that you find Pioneers every day yes in business you may find Pioneers but I'm talking about really truly spiritual Pioneers that that have that type of and they don't necessarily have to change the world but they live by their inner voice because they're completely affected by one thing and one thing only what is the what is the mission that God sent me to this world to do if you know that and you know that God is watching and every second are you living up to that mission then what the damn difference does it make what others think to go look for other people are going to help validate whether whether you're fulfilling your mission now I know it doesn't make sense but emotionally as I said before we're blinded emotionally we are dependent and especially if we did not grow up in homes that cultivated that sense of self-confidence and self-esteem we're always looking what others are thinking I began writing a poem once it was going to be a one-line poem actually but many repeated many times you know I'm watching people watch people watch people watch people watch people watch people like that and others always watching people watching people want the blind leading the blind to use Shakespeare's words so a birthday therefore I submit is the greatest tool we have that's maybe the greatest underused tool that we have because essentially it's a statement that you have once a year declared but the truth is every moment you're alive is a result that you were being rebirthed you wake up every morning is essentially a mini birthday and that is that the contract that God is saying on a cosmic level do you have something to contribute you have a mission that you and only you can fulfill it's critical to know that that drives everything because if you're completely confident in that then that defines it because remember if you don't really matter then how can your choices and decisions and all your actions really matter which is what many people do have that type of somewhat it's a lingering it's almost a subconscious feeling really matters what I do don't do it's like an ocean someone's going to drop another drop of water in the ocean what difference will it make they tell that the analogy of a poor town poor statel and they heard the news that there was a great king the great king of the whole empire was coming to visit this town of all towns so all the all the poor people got together we need to do something special for the king what are we going to give him he doesn't have he has everything so they said they'll appreciate our gesture so they decided they put a big Barrel in the middle of the town and everyone's expected to pour in a jug of wine you know they had wine now wine was expensive but that would be a gesture everyone a jug of wine and together they give the king this great big barrel and for the king would appreciate their effort and that they went out of their way their expense relative to their to their uh economic status was a gift of course there was a smart guy in town he tells his family he says listen wines are expensive it takes three months to make the money that we need for wine for kids shopping holidays and so on since everyone else is going to pour wine into the battle we'll pour a jug of water who's going to know now unfortunately all the people in town were just as smart as this guy was they all said the same thing so the king ended up getting a big barrel of water because everyone thoughts what difference one jug of wine there's hundreds of other families and I'm sure they'll put one when you don't think you can make a difference it affects everything someone says to you here we need you tomorrow morning early morning 7 A.M at 6 a.m We got a volunteer we're going to visit some special children or we're going to visit some sick people we need some volunteers okay you'll say six o'clock in the morning please you know I'm tired I'm exhausted I had a hard week uh whatever it is I'm uh exhausted from uh not doing anything which also can exhaust you you know um so the person who's uh valued you says okay listen if you can't make it you can't make it how many people are going to go if they hear that but if you're told the following we can't do it without you if you don't come tomorrow 6 a.m people are gonna not get what they need cannot do it without you that's a different story then you feel you need it we live in a very increasingly depersonalized world where friends are Facebook friends you know as they say and this isn't even a joke that the people created social media the most anti-social people you'll ever meet I met some of them but they created friends so what kind of friends the best friend if you're an anti-social who's a friend so you never have to see but you can share things online with I know sounds funny but I think it's somewhat true this doesn't mean that you can't have a real friend and also have them unfriend on Facebook but it means you can have friends that are not really friends so we live in an increasingly deep personalized world then we have reality TV oh you want some reality we'll give you reality TV that's reality that's like someone says someone's taking a cup of Diet Coke he says how could you drink that it's like fake you have to have the real thing what's the real thing real coke like as if real coke is real it's also some chemical or whatever it is you know it's also a fabric it's not water it's not bread or what Walter Matthau I think put it this way he said you see this couch it's authentic imitation leather yeah authentic imitation letter Okay so you need any more jokes for the to make the point it's pretty clear right so we live in a world where uh what's sometimes hard to know where the lines blur between reality and fiction especially in the latest period of time television is like you know it's an entertainment is it real and you get older you get you come to realize that you know best is probably to get Inner stimulation from within and good friends that all these outer stimulation may be very good distractions and excellent uh babysitters but it ends up being has nothing to do with reality that's for sure reality is what goes on you know a reality is a mother cradling a child and saying you matter that's reality and everything else is secondary not even secondary is meaningless so when you get to come to so you think about that so we live in this dispersity personal light so it becomes very very um we're addicted essentially to forces into a diet of things that do not feed the most important thing which is that you truly matter on the deepest level we're not even ex we're not even encouraged to think that way and especially when you add into the whole marketing advertising World in which we live every we're being inundated with messages that if you buy this you'll be a better person if you smoke this if you travel here if you look like that you know look what what basically ads do they either telling you here's how you get pleasure which is how here's how you avoid pain it's the pain and pleasure principles as they put and that's what it is when's the last time you see a big ad bull board that says God birth is God saying you matter you're indispensable unless there's a bottom line that says call it 1-800 so and so you're not going to get such a message because why should anyone give you a message like that what what how is it going to be monetized how is it going to be sponsored so it says you're indispensable call 1-800 and find out how you know that's like the story The Woody Allen joke where the guy comes to the rabbi and says Rabbi I hear that the Torah has a secret to all the truths of Life absolutely I hear can you teach it to me sure how much will it cost how could I charge you God didn't charge Moses and the Jewish people Moses didn't charge for delivering it wow so he's doubly impressed the truths of everything and for free well they sit down and of course the Torah is in Hebrew and the Rabbi says Hebrew lessons will be twenty thousand dollars okay this is always a catch it's nothing for free but the truth is that's a joke it's actually not true the truth is that you have as I said before the resource right in you a birthday doesn't cost money God gave it to you as a gift he gave you life as a gift okay imagine we value things more than the life itself that we have we're given we value the clothing we buy our hairdos our makeup our our accessories we value that more than the biggest gift you have which is you because we live in a world that never talks about you and they don't celebrate you they celebrate something that to convince you that this will make you happy and this will make you this and this will do that and this will make you diet and this will make you uh I don't know feel less depressed and less sad you I mean just look at everything that we are involved in and I'm not saying everything is false but no one ever says to you the biggest message which is you are Divine entity in this world that has something to contribute that you and only you can contribute that's a birthday period you don't even need more than that now obviously the next question everyone asks is okay so how do I find that mission good I love that you know who doesn't love to hear that they're indispensable but tell me what am I supposed to do so the answer actually lies within the question as they say the question of a wise person is half an answer what's the answer if you're going to be completely controlled by all these messages and you don't have any space to think about your life obviously you're not going to get very far very nice to hear to accept okay I'm indispensable I've got a mission to say but let me know in 10 minutes what am I supposed to do and then the rest of your life you're back to the marrying around and the circus and the rat race that we're all involved in there's no way that you could reimburse you can embrace your mission and your calling based on your birthday if you're going to go back to the routines that so Trappers that have nothing to do with your life and your purpose in life and that's what that's that's the difficulty If the message I shared here this evening was taught to children from young age and every morning and every evening but when they wake up and before they go to sleep they were told you were sent to you're a gift a mother and father and older siblings would say you're a gift sent here by God and you have something you need to contribute and I'm here to help I feel honored to be like a gardener to help nurture and Foster and cultivate your potential and your mission we live in a very different world but the message like that is not really heard by children so now we're adults and we have not heard that message and we're adults that already in a 90 mile an hour we're driving 90 miles an hour we're not like oh let me you can't just stop everything or at least we think we can't I have a job tomorrow morning that's very fine you know I just saw a cartoon a guy with he's rushing to the the to the train station with the a briefcase he sees a little Guru sitting at the corner there and he goes over to the guru listen my train is in eight minutes can you tell me the meaning of life you know that's not how it works if everything else is a priority and the meaning of life is like okay fill it into eight minutes between my you know my coffee break and my this thing obviously so that's the difficulty how do you break the routine how do you create the space but today you hear this there's already mindfulness is in today every few years it's another name but essentially it's about creating space and we don't need any new gimmicks you got to Simply do this if it's important enough you create space see that woman in St Louis didn't have all these luxuries for her life was miserable every second so she was desperate and when you're desperate to do things and she found her answer but not easily how do we who are not so desperate and we have our lives at least we think we have our lives figured out and we at least have some semblance of of whatever structure how do we the only way is a sense of I don't want to say the word desperation that sounds very foreboding but I will say you have to exceed as a priority there's no way around it you're not going to be driving 90 miles an hour and expect to suddenly say okay what's my mission in life you're going to have to pause so we have a thing for the Shabbat that's meant to be a day where you do pause and you do try to put a stop to as much as possible to the material life from which you're immersed your work your routines and that is a time when we're supposed to be thinking meditating praying and focusing on those priorities but what happens most people shop is even people who keep Shabbos they bring their six days of the week into Shabbos and they're so exhausted that finally I have at least a rest of it they don't use it as a time to basically it's a time of like a pause in this big Marathon so now instead of 90 miles an hour I paused for a day but then you're back to the 90 miles an hour there has to be some point where you stop and say I have to do something about this differently and that nobody can force upon you that has to be a priority now sadly usually crisis trauma loss and someone is the thing that draws most people out of their routines because there's no choice but we I'm not suggesting we need to wait for that it has to be that important so a birthday is your gift but you need to pay attention to it it's not just and that does not come with superficial uh commitment it requires really thinking but it's worth all all the effort you know why because it recalibrates your whole life based on your mission instead of your actions defining your calling your calling should Define your actions doesn't that make sense your mission statement should Define your business not your business to find your mission statement so that is the challenge but that's the power of birthday so now you've heard it here there's no excuse anymore you have in you right now your birthday is your greatest gift I know some people say I'd rather you didn't tell me that that way at least I can still continue saying you know I didn't really know but that's what it is I had I remember years ago it was a very amusing humorous story this young guy a very successful driven guy came to this class very smart and used to come every week that one day he calls me says to me you know I'm gonna come to your class now for the last year year and a half almost every week I really love it's changed so much how I look but I have to tell you because of your classes I've lost my girlfriends I've lost all the things all this entertainment that I was so in I was like you know that's a hot shot and your classes have forced me to go into places that I never think about and really my life has become a mess you know I don't like going partying anymore I don't like The Superficial stuff so I have to tell you this is this was a serious call that no offense to you but you're not going to see me I need I have still some young years in my life once I retire I'll get back to you and an introspective life I need to get you know this is that's what he told me I couldn't stop laughing I said to me you know I said that I think this is my most gratifying call I've ever received I told him I said why I said because I really feel great to make you miserable you know and not many people can say I feel great making you miserable what do they say I make Happy People miserable and miserable people happy you know it's a good calling card um good pickup why so uh so anyway but so I said look I'm not here to tell you what to do enjoy your life I mean literally he said to me I have you know too much action still I need to do but he recognizes and I I smile to myself I said let's see what happens well you know something around four or five months later as he shows up and I didn't say names I told the story and I said there's a guy you know I don't know if I'll ever see him again he was sitting there in the back so I talked to him afterwards I said he says I couldn't stay away it's impossible he says once you hear it it's very hard he says I've been pushing it away I have to find a way to balance the two anyway at least the guy was honest which I appreciated um but what he did was I know what he did he he was a very good looking guy and you know he was at this sexy dude type of guy and he says he's to bring girlfriend that he was dating to my class here wasn't in this room then we were in other place so I said why are you bringing this why why are you doing that he says it's the best class he said because I find out everything about them because afterwards they either tell me I don't understand all this stuff and he knows right away that's not for him but and they do he says you really find out a lot of what a person is about because you're forced to start talking about deeper things instead of talking about whether you like this movie or that movie or this restaurant or that restaurant or this music or that music so anyway so it became a little tradition once in a while you'll see it I know today it's online I think so people more became interested people started bringing their dates here men women women I don't know I became interesting twist to because it was like a class that provoked things provoke conversations instead of they have to provoke I'm the one that provoked and then they uh yeah so um I remember when Stephen Dubner who helped me as an editor of Twitter meaning for life he went on to write free economics you may be familiar with that with Stephen Levitt so he would tell him you know he was he actually wrote his own book later turbulent Souls because he was the eighth of young of the youngest of eight children born to two Jewish parents who converted to Catholicism it was a story he was a New York Times writer I don't know if you've seen it so I remember when he was writing he was I would I would send him my chapters and he would edit so when we were working on the chapter on Love and Marriage he said to me you're destroying my whole romantic life because nothing that I have in my life Rises to these standards here lives up to these standards and he told me then later when he married his wife he asked me to say a few words I said you know something there's a man here the man who's getting married would not be marrying this woman had he not been working with me that discovered the higher standard for love and marriage anyway that's uh so sometimes it's good to the higher the bar as they say raise the bar right very good um raise the bar and that way our standards get higher so sometimes a bit could be a little intimidating but that's how you grow let's be honest growth comes with some type of angst you want to reach greater places so the birthday our birthday is unbelievable powerful and as I said tell me let me know when your birthday is you could you could write it down for me I can we can also figure out when the Hebrew birthday is if you like and we'll send you a gift from me to you how to make your birthday more meaningful it's like a guide we made a very nicely designed thing which I really think could really help people I mean some things I said here there's more to it of course but remember it begins with creating the space and that's a good thing to do on your birthday is to create that space so you can think about it and make some real resolutions not like these New Year resolutions that last from January 1 to January 2. if even that much but something that really is last sustained and sustainable and of course having an environment people that think like this because it's very difficult to be alone in this type of Journey of a meaningful journey of a purposeful life because you know you have people around you and they're more superficial or they're involved in other things now I'm not suggesting there isn't that this is not about not suggesting that you'll stop having fun and stop enjoying your life I'm suggesting you could have all that plus a deeper Dimensions at all just want to make that clear so this isn't about moving from a happy-go-lucky type of life to a complete intensity and seriousness it's about deepening your broadening widening your horizons and broadening your perspectives when then everything becomes enriched and that's what it comes down to so I'm sure more can be said but I thought that the an excellent way to look at a birthday and look at a resource that we have available because we all have that birthday and in fact even when as I said before even when it's not the actual birthday the truth is every morning when you're awake it's considered to be a mini birthday because it's like a renewal of your contract and also appreciation of the life that you were given so I don't know if anybody's birthday is coming up very closely but if yes I wish you a happy birthday I'm sure there's somebody but at some point everyone will get to that point that access that place in the spiral when the all of existence set lines up to look at you and your role and yes your actions and your choices and your behavior is critical and indispensable in the whole picture the fact that there's seven billion people on Earth the fact that there are a lot of numbers does not make take less because as we know today Size Doesn't Matter it's not about size you can have a uh a computer program with millions and millions of line of code and there's one dot missing and the whole code doesn't work you can have DNA we have 75 trillion cells in our body trillion and one cell is a mutation and it can create Havoc so it's not about one billions 75 trillion it's about the quality and we do each have that beauty and that music and that song and I always Oliver Wendell Holmes in the voiceless says alas to those that die with their songs still inside them you're born a new song entered this world a new Melody and unfortunately that Melody often remains Undercover and yes some people die with the song Still inside them your birthday is meant to remind you that you should not you should access that song and that song is more than just a song It's a song it's a symphony and it's a symphony that goes through your whole life and all its colors and Views and shapes and forms but it's yours and it's your mark that you make that yes birth is God saying you matter so everyone have a very blessed week and you matter even now not just on your birthday it's all year round it's just the birthday is the beginning of the contract and we should all have a blessed week a blessed until next Wednesday if I could be of any help in meaningful Life Center that's what we're driven by birth is God saying you matter meaningful life please be in touch with us and please do leave me your birthdays everyone online as well if you just email us your birthday I assure you that you'll receive a personal gift from me from from all of us that can help make your special day even more special thank you very much [Applause] and I will give you the secret my birthday was yesterday foreign [Applause] I feel 17. but uh as you can imagine I'm not 17. I got a picture of you

Channel: Rabbi Simon Jacobson at Meaningful Life Center

Views: 880,650

Keywords: spirituality, soul, meaning, purpose, god, kabbalah, torah, chassidus, mysticism, psychology, bible, practical bible

Id: x-g1li4VKRY

Length: 67min 53sec (4073 seconds)

Published: Mon Apr 03 2023