*indistinct singing* [singing]
“Missionaries in the foreign field..” Okay. Here we go. For some reason I cannot...
okay the song is in my head and I cannot get — Song — leave my head now. Worked. Hi, my name is Fr. Mike Schmitz
and this is Ascension Presents. So, I had this dream the other night...
it was really weird. I was going to confession,
in my dream. I mean, that's not the weird part. The weird part was,
the priest who I was going to confession to, he had invited some random woman
into the confession with us — into my confession. Wasn't anyone I knew, but it was like a conglomeration of old church ladies
that I knew from growing up. In the summer time, my family would go to, like, the Lakes Country parishes in Minnesota and it was kind of like
a version of all of them mashed together. Not physically — that'd be weird —
but just, you know, the idea of them. As I was going to confession,
I would confess the sin and the woman sitting there would be like
“Oh my gosh, that’s horrible!” And I’d be like “yeah”
and then I’d confess another sin and she’d be like
“You should feel terrible about this!” And I started getting angry,
because as I was confessing she kept basically, describing how awful it was
that I had these sins to confess. And I was angry, and like,
yeah, I know, that's why I'm in confession! *laughs*
[indistinct noise while shaking fist] And I woke up
and I was still kind of mad, right? And I remember reflecting back on it,
like, wait I'm upset, but... Why? Why am I upset? Well, A) It’s a dream. B) The sins I was confessing aren't
even actually my actual sins. They were like, dreams?
Yeah, I just I don't even know what they were. But they weren't the normal things I would confess ... that doesn’t matter. But C) or three or whatever
— or P.O. C.3.P.O. right? I was getting mad, but her response to my sins
was actually the appropriate response. Because her saying
“Oh my gosh that's horrible.” Yeah, yes. That's right. That's right. I mean, that's that's how —
I would imagine this — that is how maybe some people who really, really like me,
and are really patient with me — that's how they might respond
to listening in on my confession. “Oh my gosh, that’s horrible.
I thought you were trying to be holy? I thought you were striving after Jesus?”
I’m like, yeah! I am! But, see, I fail.
And that's why I go to confession. And that's so interesting because there’s something in me
that doesn't want that to be the case. What I mean is,
I realized in my dream at least, I was acknowledging my guilt
while at the same time trying to cling to innocence. I was saying
“Oh here's the things I've done” at the same time
seeing myself as someone who’s like “Well no, but I had good reasons for this”
and justifying myself — claiming some kind of innocence in all this.
And I thought “This is so strange.” Do I do that, actually, in real confession
when I’m awake and going to confession
with my real sins? Or even, do I present myself
to other people like that? Do I have this sense of like
“No, I'm willing to acknowledge my guilt” but actually in the back of my mind I'm thinking
but I'm really innocent, ultimately. Because I think that
I might have a temptation to do that and I wonder if you watching this might have a temptation to do that. I don't know if I could
fully acknowledge my failures. I don't even know if I can
fully acknowledge my successes. It's so interesting. I think instead,
what we do is, we cling to a false sense of self. Either the kinda-sorta sinner
or the kinda-sorta saint as opposed to
“No, here's just who I am for real.” I am made for glory —
you've been made for glory. But I'm fallen and I sometimes
misuse that — those gifts that God's given me — for my own self or
even to hurt others. You realize, oh my gosh,
that's actually the truth about me. Because it's interesting,
I think of so many of us — or maybe not you, but a lot of us — have a difficult time when it comes to acknowledging
the truth about ourselves. and so, again,
we create a false sense of self. And that false self isn't just like
when we talk to other people, because there's a certain kind of propriety about...
like, you don't just dump all your garbage in every encounter with a human being. The issue is:
what happens when I bring that really false sense of self
into my relationship with God and it's how I see myself. I think that we have —
a lot of us have a temptation either to define ourselves or get our identity
from our strengths. Like “I've accomplished this, I've achieved this,”
or “I won here, I’m good at this.” Or we have a tendency
to get our identity from our weaknesses: “I failed here therefore I’m a failure,” “I've been rejected here
therefore I'm not loved,” “I feel like I'm not worthy because
I've done this thing that’s terrible and so I am unworthy.” That temptation we have
to create a false self, an identity that's either based on our strengths
or based on our weaknesses it's either based on our successes
or it's based on our failures and then what happens is
when we approach God like that when we see ourselves — when we approach God
with that false sense of self and we say
“Okay God, could you please just love me...” He can’t. I’m gonna say that again. When all we have
is a false sense of self and we come before God and say
“Okay, please love me” — he can’t. Why? Because that false self doesn’t exist.
That false self isn't real. That false self isn't actually you. If I define myself according to my
strengths or my weaknesses and I approach God and say,
okay God, love THIS being, THIS person... He would ultimately have to say
“I can't, because that person isn't real. That person is an illusion,
that's a mask, that's all it is.” And ultimately God wants to love YOU. Without the mask,
past the illusion. Not based on your strengths or based on your weaknesses but because once you take off the mask —
once you get rid of the false self — then God says “Oh there you are.” Imagine this moment,
where when you approach God as you truly are and he says
“Ah, there she is, that's my daughter.” “There he is. That's my son.” “THAT's the one I love.” In so many ways I would say
that Christianity all comes down — we have the Catholic Church
with a lot of teachings and a lot of rules, I guess but it all comes down
to one question: our response to God's question
“Will you let me love you as you are?” That, I think, in so many ways
is all of Christianity, is all of Catholicism. Will you let God love you
as you are right now? Not the false self, because he can't —
that self doesn't exist, that's that's an illusion, it’s a mask. Will you let God love you
as you are right now? Not the hero and not the villain,
but just YOU. Don’t say “No, no Lord, I want you to love
the super-successful me.” Or “Lord I want you to love
simply the victim me.” He's like “Okay, but you're not just simply successful. You're not simply a victim.” “I want you.” Here's my invitation,
for all of us today is: to acknowledge,
where have I tried to get my identity from? My successes? My failures?
My strengths? My weaknesses? And realize, actually,
I get my identity — you get your identity from the fact that
you've been created in God's image and likeness and he has called you and gifted you
to be an image of Jesus Christ in the world. That God loves you,
simply because you are. God loves you
simply because he created you. Will you let him love THAT you? To actually make the decision today
to say “Okay God, I don't have to be confessing my guilt
while still clinging to innocence thinking that
I'm not worthy of this, or I don’t get this. I just get to say
“Okay God, I give you permission. You can love me as I am.” From all of us here at Ascension Presents,
my name is Fr. Mike. God bless. Oh hey! Like, subscribe,
comment below and share with your friends.
Or don’t. I mean, whatever. I mean, it’s your life.
