Marriage And Money - Dave Ramsey Rant

so the number one cause of divorce into in america today the number one thing that couples fight about money fights and money problems so when your marriage is facing financial stress it is facing one of the most formidable enemies of your marriage it will ever face more people split up over that than anything else bankruptcy and divorce are best buddies they hang out together all the stats tell us that in 25 years of financial coaching tells me that and having lived through it myself i mean sharon and i didn't get a divorce but we we you know the only reason we held on to each other is get a better grip so we could smack each other again um that's a metaphor but um so but i mean you know it's just man when we were going broke we were like claws were out teeth were were bared you know it was like rough she told me she said i'd leave but i don't even have the money to do that uh it's a long time ago i'll tell you what it's still fresh in my mind i still feel it in my spirit when i talk to someone like that last caller who was struggling so let me just tell you it is normal if you are struggling financially ladies listen to me carefully your man is struggling with his self-esteem more than any time in his life i don't care what his age is i don't care what his education level is i don't care what his income used to be or even what it is today if you guys are in a financial pinch it makes him feel bad about himself period if he's self-employed even more so because then it's completely up to him on his job and it's not the job's not doing it the business isn't doing it and it just it i remember i mean it smacks you in the face and guys feel worse about themselves at that point ladies than ever before so the last thing he needs in the middle of something like that ladies is a barking chihuahua around his ankles it's the last thing he needs right then guys listen to me if you're married and you're struggling financially your lady is afraid in a place you don't even have she has a security gland that you don't have and her security gland is spasming she's afraid and you know if you're struggling financially she needs an extra three to six non-sexual hugs a day some of you men need to look up non-sexual hug for the purpose of reassurance that's leading nowhere help you with that physical touch for the purpose of reassurance that is going nowhere this is how you get through this stuff guys this is what you really do and you hold hands and you grit your teeth and you resist the temptation ladies to tear him down and men you resist the temptation to throw fire on her fear because when you start singing the hee haw song you put her in intensive care gloom despair and agony on me when you start that crap men your lady goes she melts down in a place you don't even have she's scared and it's not because she's weaker she's actually probably stronger she's probably more resilient than you are men in this case but she is afraid in a place you don't have because women are the main thing they draw from money is security men the main thing they draw from money is esteem we shouldn't we ought to draw it from the lord we know that but we're human and it's our broken parts that do that it's that's how it is no way around it so make sure men that you know this about your wives ladies that you know this about your husbands and you can get through hard financial times and it not cost you your marriage as a matter of fact if you'll understand these things and just talk about them out loud and you play all your cards face up a little bit yeah i feel like crap right now yeah i'm really scared right now it's okay to talk about it and then you sit down go okay let's do something about it well let's get rid of this stupid car and don't go looking at him and go you know you're such an idiot when you bought these cars he already feels like an idiot he doesn't need you to tell him that if we don't sell these cars it's all gonna go down the toilet she doesn't need you to say that she already knows that she's already afraid don't throw fire on the gas a gas on the fire okay take the action steps without turning them into blame you don't have to throw anybody under the bus to sell the bus sell it sell so much stuff the kids are hiding they think they're next get six extra jobs sit down get on a dadgum budget listen i don't care who can't get a date turn off your television average millionaire can't tell you who got thrown off the island turn off your stupid television most this stuff's not worth work watching anyway like none of it hardly so you know concentrate on something that matters which is your life getting your life back sit down start making lists of things we need to sell let's make craigslist happy light up ebay baby let's get some things going here let's take some action steps here's the weirdest thing i'm so worried i've heard that like i don't know 25 000 times in 20 years doing financial coaching i'm so worried i've been there where i said i'm so worried i've been there i remember saying that you know weirdest thing about worry if you work all the time you ain't got time to worry if you have a game plan where you're aiming at something the worry just starts to dissipate because most of your worry is about something that isn't even going to happen anyway but if you'll go about go about your business of busting into it moving your life around taking an impact on your life instead of sitting around waiting on it to happen to you it changes everything it suddenly changes your self-esteem men and ladies it suddenly helps your fear go away when you get in a game plan and you go after it and you you you just draw back and start punching stuff not each other it changes everything you guys it moves the needle it's the funniest thing your self-esteem will get better when you start doing something about your situation your fear will go down when you start doing something about your situation when you go to work and you lay out a plan but if you try to hide watching die hard 16 rocky 46 again on the television one more version of these things over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again you can try to hide in hbo but sooner or later they're going to cut it off if you don't pay the bill so you got to get you got to get in the zone here action and activity focus with a game plan that the two of you are unified on suddenly the fear starts to back off suddenly your self-esteem starts to improve and you can be so deep in a hole that you can't even see daylight and your self-esteem will be just fine because you got a plan and you're working a plan you can be so deep in a hole you can't see daylight and instead of being terrified by that you will be optimistic because you have a plan and you're working the plan with great focused intensity and energy and you're doing it together unified i've watched couples that i didn't think were going to make it completely turn their marriage around just because of those things right there they understood the demons that they were facing and they understood they had to take action and they had to do it together and they had to do it along a focused plan and when they do that you save not only your financial situation but your marriage and the process oh and by the way there's little people in your house that are watching they're watching how you handle life's crap you're gonna get a buried bite or you're gonna get a shovel let's get to work people there's stuff to do here there's no reason for you to surrender you do not need to surrender you can win don't let this financial stuff take your marriage it will take your marriage if you let it but you're not a victim you decide you get the dignity of deciding whether you're going to win or not and i'll help you this is the dave ramsey show you

Channel: The Ramsey Show - Highlights

Views: 647,228

Keywords: dave ramsey marriage and money, finance in marriage, dave ramsey on marriage, money marriage, dave ramsey money and marriage, marriage and money, marriage money, marriage and finances, marriage finances, marriage and money dave ramsey, money and marriage, money in marriage, dave ramsey marriage, finances in marriage, marriage rant, dave ramsey divorce, dave rant

Id: q-vIi0PLwKE

Length: 9min 49sec (589 seconds)

Published: Tue Aug 11 2015