Dissolving Barriers - Louise Hay

[Music] [Applause] Oh wonderful great group I feel good energy Wow yes so let's ask once more how many people here have barriers okay yes all right I think almost all of us do you know we do so much work on ourselves and still somehow barriers keep coming up and I find that many of them fall into about four different categories they're either criticism the resentment their fear or their guilt those are the four ones we work on mostly the ones that really are in the way yes let's take a nice deep breath and if you brought any stuff in with you just let's let it go for the time being I've been a sort of my eyes going in many places seeing what's happening I'm letting all that go now so that I can just be here and concentrate on being with you and we've come to let things go we've come to let our barriers go we want to find out something that's a little bit different that perhaps we didn't know before okay each one of us has come here to let something go and let's just know for ourselves that we're willing to release we're willing to let go and that doesn't have to be a struggle and it doesn't have to be difficult and we don't have to listen to old echoes of the past because if we hear them we'll just let them go we're here to learn something new and if each one of us it's just one sentence today that can help us improve the quality of our life and that's magnificent can you think how wonderful it would be if every single day we got one sentence of something that would help us let go of the past or bring something new in because you know all we're really working on is being is our understanding and awareness and knowledge and it's no good beating ourselves up for the stuff that we don't know or where we are it's much better if we put that energy into learning what we can about ourselves and seeing what we need to dissolve I think one of our big problems is that most of us haven't the faintest idea of what we want to let go of we know what's not working and we know what we want in our life but we don't know what's in the way so what I want to do today one of the things is to help us look at what holds us back what is holding us back and I find that many of the things that really hold us back fall into the area of criticism resentment fear or guilt and if you think for a moment about your own patterns and your own problems and the things that hold you back which categories do they fall into for yourself maybe they fall into two or three is it here that always comes up is a guilt that always comes up is it resentment are you very very critical what is the thing that is your barrier now remember our experiences always reflect our inner beliefs and if you want to know what what your inner beliefs are you can literally look around at your experiences if you look at the people in your life if you look at all sorts of things you can see what you believe about yourself because all of our experiences reflect our inner beliefs and some of them are wonderful and these are the things we work with that help us really flow in life and some of them are very negative some of them are old-fashioned they're worn out they don't even make any sense in our life now there are things that perhaps we learned when we were 2 or 3 years old and we're still using them now but the biggest blocks of all are the four and I'm going to keep repeating that criticism resentment fear and guilt these are the things that really get into our way now I know that you've heard me say many times or you've read or I listened on the tapes that loving yourself is the most powerful thing we can do then everything flows everything flows beautifully now I'm not talking about vanity or arrogance because that is not love that's always fear I'm talking about just really respecting and appreciating this incredible magnificent beam that we are you know little babies know how to love themselves you were born in pure love all of you there's not one little baby alive I that I know of that ever criticizes its body wherever says my hips are too big you ever heard a baby say that they're just thrilled and delighted that they have a body they rejoice in it and they love themselves they love their toes they love everything about themselves they absolutely adore that they express their feelings you know I'm the baby is happy you know it when a baby is angry the whole neighborhood knows it they're never scared to let people know how they feel they live in the moment and they're filled with courage and they're wonderful and we were all like that got to remember that you were filled with courage and you were full of love and you adored yourself when you were very little and then what happens is we start to grow up and we start to listen to people that were frightened or critical or resentful or guilty and many of us grew up with people like that you know if you grew up in a family where there's criticism was the norm then you're gonna grow up to be a critical person you're gonna look at everything in life as with criticism and you probably criticize yourself and other people and you won't enjoy life nearly as much as you could if you grow up in a family where you were not allowed to express anger then either you're a person who is terrified of anger or you swallow it down all the time and you let it sit in your body if you were raised in a family where everybody was manipulated by guilt then you're probably going to do the same thing you're probably a person who runs around saying I'm sorry all the time I'm sorry I'm sorry and you can never ask for anything outright because you're always want to manipulate somebody but these are old family patterns and it's very easy to blame our parents and it's very easy to blame our childhood or our environment but the problem with that is that it keeps us stuck we don't get to be free we get to stay in our victim thing and that's no good for anybody then we just get to keep having our problems but remember you're in charge now doesn't matter what your parents said doesn't matter what anybody else did it doesn't matter what you learned what really matters is what you are choosing to think and say now because you're the only person that thinks in your mind and you choose your thoughts now I can tell you lots and lots of wonderful things but if you don't choose to listen to them then they're not gonna work at all so you are always in charge and you're creating your world and your life now I've known that one of the most powerful affirmations you can use is I love and approve of myself I love and approve of myself and when you first say that it's amazing what can come up and come to the surface lots of times when we begin to say that all the negative messages come to the surface and it's marvelous because that gives us an opportunity to know what's been in the way you see if you don't hear your negative messages you don't know what's in your way so when you start to do an affirmation like I love and approve of myself you want to really pay attention to what the negative messages are because they're the ones that are in the way and when you find a negative message if you could write it down it's wonderful because you want to think I found a treasure this is something that's really in my way and really creating a problem remember we get to choose the way we think and we can choose to change the way we think it's always our choice now what I'd like you to do right now is take out those little mirrors that you have I know everybody has a little mirror okay good now let's see if you can look in your eyes without primping see if you can manage to do that I want you to look in your eyes and I want you to say I love you I love and approve of you exactly as you are okay now just begin to notice what you feeling don't judge it just notice what are the feelings that are coming up are they feelings of joy do you feeling feel wonderful about yourself are the feelings of criticism or negativity don't judge them just notice what's coming up acknowledge the negative message just acknowledge it and you can always say thank you for sharing and realize that the the negative messages that are coming up now are very much the things that are in the way of you loving yourself okay what I want to do right now is let's do it just a little bit of sharing okay I want to know what sort of messages are coming up from you hmm yes fear would be upset if you really loved yourself me no no no no no no it always goes back farther and who would be upset if you really loved yourself my parents your parents which one both of them you okay well Muslim what was the family message always judgmental always haha okay so you mean from a critical judgmental resentful family okay fine so you're a wonderful and fearful old boy you really got it all okay it just means that you have a little more to work on you know I really think that some of us are there young souls and we come here and it's like going to kindergarten life is really very simple and some of us are much older Souls and we pick tougher tests and it's more like going to graduate school but you know you can do it it's just that you've chosen perhaps a little more difficult things to overcome but see it's my belief that the main thing that we really come here to work on is loving ourselves in spite of what they say and in spite of what they do and that's what we really need to do so oK you've got things you've got credit you've got judgments you've got criticism you've got fear probably a little guilt in there too okay then you you I like to always think of that we can go beyond our parents limitations you know they had a limited way of looking at life and you were a very good little child so you learned what they taught you see because a lot of us think that we're bad and we're not good enough and we're no good but actually we're ideal wonderful loving little children and we learn exactly what our parents teach us not always what they tell us to do but we learn from them and we learned exactly what they do and we grow up doing the same thing okay that's wonderful let's have somebody else who else wants to share something that from the mirror yes over here when I I didn't really think of anything when I looked in but when you asked just to sit back I felt that it wasn't real it wasn't real that this whole exercise I mean I I was looking at myself in the mirror but I thought this isn't real it's not it's just a pretend exercise I just felt like it wasn't real okay yes is it the first time you've ever done that look in a mirror and say I love you yes okay you know a lot of people when they first do it you start getting the barriers and the resistance up and that's okay because remember resistance is the first step to change you know you want something different out there and then that somebody says to you oh but you've got to change and you go who me no no I'm not going to do that or you did say you know if you really want to have life wonderful you get to forgive and they go no way am I gonna forgive so our resistance comes up and this is a good thing because it's the very first thing that happens when you do that all right so that how many people felt it wasn't real and it was just to pretend exercise only couple how many people got angry how many people got sad yeah lots of said you know what happens when you look in the mirror and you say I love you for the first time that little child inside says and these waves of sadness come up because remember you've probably been rejecting that little child for a long long time okay let's have somebody else immediately I felt like how can i unless someone this fat and this ugly and mom okay be so awful and you know that I did it I do but what's so awful about you then I'm fat and ugly and ugly and awful okay cuz I do someone died I guess because so much of my past I did so much so wrong you know I it sounds to me like ever since you were a little girl you've been trying to survive in the best way that you could and trying to protect yourself you know excess weight usually has something to do with protection and it's the time when we're not feeling as safe as we could be and so we put on some protection to take care of ourselves but if we make ourselves bad for that then we say stop and we never get to feel safe but you know I've noticed in my own life and I'm a very slender person I have little tiny bones that when I'm not feeling safe I will put some weight on and at the moment my life is going so fast and so furious and so incredible that I realized I put on about seven pounds and I said okay Louise you've got to work on safety we've got to come back and really know that we're safe and it's okay and I can do all this stuff and I can be all these places and I can have all that's happening right now that it's very scared okay here and scare okay so see now it isn't the the the weight is really an outer effect to a fear that's inside do you know what you're frightened of yeah would you share it I'm an incest survivor cause every time I get to those issues it just is so yes okay well you know a lot of us have had that have come through an ESS thing and it's interesting that so much of it goes on on the planet but the thing is in order to go through it get out of it we've got to go through it and we and we have to remember that the feelings that come up are just the feelings that come up it's not we're not in the experience now and one of the things that I find is very helpful for this is if you would create a meditation for your child connect with your little child inside and create a meditation for this child where it is absolutely safe you know I had incest as a child too and I've done a wonderful meditation with my little child first of all she has a fairy godmother fairy godmother it looks just like Billie Burke and The Wizard of Oz because that's what appeals to her and I know that when I'm not with her she's with her fairy godmother and she's always safe and always taken care of she also lives in a penthouse way way up with doormen and two large dogs and and all sorts of things that make her feel safe so that she knows that no one will ever hurt her again and she feels absolutely safe and when I can make her feel safe then I as the adult can help her go through releasing the experiences so when you can do some work on your child I think it'll be wonderfully helpful okay that's good but see you look in the mirror and it immediately brings up what is really there that's why I love the mirrors and it's either going to be I'll tell you fear or criticism or resentment or guilt and you have a good strong fear thing okay take a deep breath and just be real proud of yourself they're having all the courage that you have and of course you know the thing we really need to work on is forgiveness and that's the one that's really it's hard for everybody but some of us have made it harder than other times and sometimes when you're dealing with something like incest it's hard to really believe that the other person was doing the best they could at that time with the understanding and awareness and knowledge that they had and I helped find it's very helpful when we've gone through difficult childhood experiences to learn as much as we can about that person's childhood because remember no matter how badly that person behaved at that time they were born a little baby in pure love so what happened to them along the way it's like I I went through the anger and then I went through forgiving them and when I see them I really am happy to see them but for me and I heard their stories of what happened to them which was truly awful but now it's like I can't get over this hump of where I am now you know to forgive myself for my reaction since then for being so angry with them and for not forgiving doing the best you could to survive and to protect yourself and now that you've done a certain amount of stuff you can do something different you can find a more positive way to do what you're doing let's have a couple more who else I really had no problem with the saying I love you I don't know why but when it got to approve of myself just as you are it was history I couldn't even say it out loud aha okay so you have lots of things that you don't accept about yourself at the moment apparently so all right well you know this this goes straight into the criticism thing you see when you're dealing with criticism and you criticize yourself all you do is stay stuck it keeps you in the place if you think about it the things you've criticizing yourself for now are the same things that you criticized yourself for four years right same same stuff well when were we going to learn that it doesn't work it doesn't to criticize ourselves if we're going to change that doesn't work at all so let's try another tactic let's approve of ourselves as we are right here and right now so that we can then bring out the best in ourselves you know if you think of a little child and you start yelling and screaming and criticizing it and telling how awful it is that child is going to shrivel and will either be run around with Tantrums or will be very very quiet and you're never going to know what that child could be like but if you love that child and praise it and tell it how wonderful it is and how perfect it is right at that moment then that child will blossom and the stuff that can come out of that child will be just incredible and it's the same way with ourselves the things that you probably don't like about yourself right now are things that patterns that you've created to deal with something but if you come from a space of loving and approving of yourself then you're gonna find more positive ways to fulfill those needs when you love who you are you automatically bring out the best in yourself now I'm not saying we've become better people because lots of people talk about that they say oh I want to become a better person and I always say we don't say that because that's implying that you're not good enough and the very thing we want to overcome is this not good enough feeling we want to really acknowledge how wonderful we are and it doesn't matter remember when you were a tiny child you wanted to be loved and accepted exactly as you were maybe you were scared maybe you were skinny maybe you were overweight maybe you weren't as bright as your brother or the person across the street and you didn't want to be compared with that you just wanted to be loved and accepted and it's the same thing we want now and I guarantee if you will be willing to begin to love and approve of yourself as you are a lot of negative stuff is just going to disappear from you because you won't need it anymore you see if we're critical to ourselves then we have to have things to criticize so we can keep the critical pattern going okay yeah all right all right well yes right here I've done a lot of work on myself and I I feel like every area of my life is starting to like really take off wonderful and I finally what happens when you work on yourself a lot a lot of fear is coming up because I feel like like nuns used to tell me when I was growing up that the more I suffered that the you know the better God would love me and I heard a lot for my family that that you the good die young so a lot of fears about you know I have so you need no reason to brood yeah if I get it all I'll have to suffer and die young so I keep myself and if you suffer and you die young I don't know I guess I feel it so let's follow this because it's important if you suffer and you die young what do you get safety and from somehow I'm protected from God has protected me somehow I feel like I mean I feel like I'll go to get to go to heaven you get to go to heaven uh-huh okay do you think you could get there some other way I hope so you know one of the things we have to remember is that many people tell people negative things in order to manipulate them they lay guilt on people because it's the easiest way to manipulate you and if somebody is trying to lay guilt on you you know ask yourself what is it they want why are they doing this what is it they want instead of you going in - oh yes I'm guilty I'm terrible so what is it they want and do you really want to give them what they want or you don't now when you come lots of parents do this with children because they find it real easy they probably were raised in the family where they were manipulated by guilt and they people things that you know that make them feel less than and churches are real good at that because you see you don't live in the church usually so they only get you a little while so they have to get you to give you some heavy numbers that'll keep you in line and many many churches do that but you're not a little child at the moment who needs to be kept in line you are grown-up adult and you have your own mind and you can figure out what you want to believe what do you choose to believe and if you want to believe that you can but it seems very limiting to me so the three-year-old had to accept that but the adult doesn't have to so I would say right those two things down and then when you have time look at those and say what do I want to turn those into how would I like to change them what would I like that to really be because every negative message that you have you can turn into something positive for yourself but it's good you see that when you look in the mirror it comes up all right okay that's that's there's a good ones yes there was a gentleman right here right here and they will do this and then I just scared that I was feeling vulnerable that there was a feeling of being fragile about loving myself and I think it had something to do with I'm so used to feeling not loving myself is it would it would be a very fragile thing you know what it's like when you pick up a newborn baby and especially if you've never done it before you look at this thing and you think oh I'm gonna drop it it's so fragile you don't know what to do and you want to sort of put it in your arms and you're not you don't know how to do it because how do you hold a head and it's and that's it's the same thing it's like you have a new baby and think of it that way and just you know it's wonderful thing to nurture now if you take that new baby and you drop it that's probably the end of the baby but if you but if you hold the baby in any way you can and just nurture it and love it that baby grow into something really wonderful so that's nice you're in a point where you're just beginning got it I knew something new to love and you know how it is when you fall in love with somebody how wonderful it is in your heart feels so good well when you get that going with yourself it's the most incredible thing because other people can leave you but you don't leave yourself so many people fight loving themselves and it's the one thing that's so incredible you know dr. Bernhard Siegel I mean he said I quote him all the time he says love heals love is the most powerful known stimulant of the immune system love is the big healer when we can really get down to loving who we are on life changes and it's amazing the diseases we don't need we just don't need them anymore see we need dis-ease when we're in to punishing ourselves but when we love who we are we don't do that so that's what we need to work on and what we're looking at today really is the barriers that are in the way but remember there are only thoughts and thoughts can be changed that's what we're working with we're working with looking at what is there realizing that it's a thought and realizing that it can be changed now resentment let's talk about resentment a little bit it's a biggie for many of us resentment is when you know anger is fine I mean anger is a normal natural emotion babies have it all the time and you know it when they're angry but five minutes later they can be totally out of it and their smile can light up a room because they're in the now they do it if they express it they get it over with too many of us were raised in families where we weren't allowed to be angry anger was not acceptable except maybe in one person and so we swallow it down and swallowed anger becomes resentment and resentment can lodge in different places in the body and it literally seeds and crew and eats away at the body and becomes tumors and fears it becomes tumors and cancers cancer and tumors really come from just resentment that has held for a long time and it eats away at the body again we have to realize that we are the ones that are holding on to it nobody else is involved at all it's something about running the old movie in our mind over and over and over again and if we want to be free from it if we want to get out of it then what we need to do is to go beyond it but remember again resent resentment is only a thought and a thought can be changed we think so many things are solid and we have to have them forever but we're only dealing with a thought and this thought can be changed you know the that so many people ask me about how to love yourself how do you love yourself do these because I talk about it all the time so I made a list of how to love yourself and it's even in poster and postcard form now but number one on that list of how to love yourself is to stop all criticism just stop it now and forevermore and make a vow to yourself that you're going to do your very best from now on to stop criticizing number one you and then other people it'll be a lot easier to stop criticizing other people when you stop criticizing yourself now number two on that list is stop scaring yourself and here we go into fear how often do you terrorize yourself with your own thoughts you get into absolute terror and it's only coming from your thoughts nobody out there is doing a thing sometimes it's an old family pattern sometimes we get new things how many people here are absolutely in terror of earthquakes and how often do you do that to yourself you know we find so many ways to scare ourselves I would like people when you have time to make a list of your fears make a list of your fears and then give yourself the opportunity to turn each fear into a positive affirmation turn each one into something positive and remember always you are in charge you are always in charge see one idle thought doesn't make a whole lot of difference it's like a but thoughts are like drops of water you drop a drop of water on the table here and it doesn't mean much but if you keep dropping and keep dropping and treat dropping you get the table becomes a wash and then you get a puddle on the floor and then you can get a little pond and a lake and finally you can create an ocean and with our own thoughts we can drown in a sea of negativity or we can float on the ocean of life and it's up to us the thoughts we think accumulate and what sort of puddles are you standing in or are you up to here or are you up to here and trying to Pottle you know what are you doing to yourself when we're willing to change our thinking we can change our experiences and it doesn't matter if you've got a big puddle of negative thoughts you know you can move over here and create a puddle of mindfulness positive thoughts you can make changes always so you want to turn those fear thoughts into positive affirmations let them work for you yes all right now okay then I said okay I changed my thought I've changed my thought and then when I'm unaware the old thought comes back again okay all right and then I say oh well that's one way to yourself stop you hear what a strong man acclimation that is I haven't learned anything though yes I'm free even forget that that's an information we talk about doing affirmations you know and that we think of okay we'll do affirmations but what we forget is that every single thought we think and every word we speak is an affirmation and far too many of them are very negative now it's a normal and natural process that you go a little forward you come a little back you go a little forward you come a little back it's part of practicing I don't think there is any new skill that you are going to learn that you are going to learn absolutely 100% in 20 minutes it just doesn't happen have you ever tried do you work a computer no yes okay how many people here work computers okay do you remember when you first learned that computer and how frustrating it was the complete I call my computer a magic lady because when I learn her processes she works magic for me but when I won't learn her process or when I get stubborn or I get frustrated I can stomp and scream and cry and do anything I want and she sits there waiting for me and it takes practice and I think very much of learning this stuff is like learning to work a computer you have to learn the the laws and what you need to do you have to learn how it works and what what affirmations you can do how your when your thought goes out it comes back to you and it's the same thing as like in a computer garbage in garbage out you're gonna get the same thing now we're all in a practice period we're learning what to do and one of the things we want to learn to do is to stop beating ourselves up so we we learn something and then we do the old way again and it's like we test ourselves how are you gonna treat yourself are you gonna say oh I didn't learn anything or are you gonna say okay that's alright we come on let's do it the new way and I think this happens with a lot of things that we do we we learn something and we work on something and we work on it we I've got that one work through but how do you know if you really haven't worked through unless you test yourself so you bring up the old situation one more time and you watch which way you go if you jump right back into the old way of reacting to it then you know that you haven't really learned that lesson and you need to do more work on it that's all it means but if you do react in the new way to the situation it's like oh I've got that one under my belt now I can move on to other things maybe something has happened prior like if I'm on the freeway I Drive 100 miles a day and there are some cars that are very slow and some cars are this event ok and so on so I try and so they you know become slow ok what do you you drive on the freeway a hundred miles a day what do you do as a mental preparation for that well I have tapes I listen to Ernest Holmes yeah no but I'm talking about driving the car what what what have you created for yourself mentally for this situation not very good not very good well it's no wonder you have the code the drivers around you that are slow and getting your way you see I long ago got over the fact that I was going to be upset or ruin my day because you can't drive so what I have my own way that I handle my car first I get in and I put love into the car put absolute love into the car and I know that I'm always surrounded by wonderful competent good drivers every year around me is a good driver and therefore because I don't yell and scream at people and I don't have that consciousness I get very few poor drivers around me they're off bothering the person who's shaking their fist see your car is an extension of you and the people that are around are also extension of where you are so I would do a little something every morning before you get in your car or as you get in your car put love into the car and just send love out to everybody around you on freeway see every situation in our life can be treated so that it really works for us from the smallest to the biggest and cars are a big thing remember automobiles and appliances are extensions of ourselves and when things go wrong look at yourself one of these days I'm going to write a book called heal your automobile because if you really think about it if you start thinking about the parts of the car and the parts of your own body they absolutely go together you can think of the last time something happened in your car and what went wrong and just sort of connected with yourself and what was going on in your own life at that time how do you know when you forgiving yourself and how do you know when you free because your life works you see when you really love yourself 100% every single thing in your life is working and if things are not working in some area of your life whatever it is then that's an area where you're not loving yourself as much as you could you see you can turn these old negative thoughts into positive affirmations like the you know I'm there I'm never good enough or I'll never be good enough can be turned into I'm wonderful just as I am now it may sound not true to begin with but remember if it were true you wouldn't need to do an affirmation an affirmation is planting a new seed in the ground and a seed that's planted in the ground takes a little bit of time you don't plant a seed in the ground and get instant Lily you get a seed in the ground and the seed has to germinate take root and only after that does that first little shoot come up and then you have to nurture it so it takes a little while to continue and to do them but how much time it is it depends on how much time you're going to give it now a lot of people want to do affirmations and they will duel affirmations maybe even ten minutes in the morning you know which is sort of a lot you sit down do your affirmations for ten minutes or you write them so many times what are you doing the rest of the day your leap in your car you say that son of a you know it's like you blown the whole thing doing the affirmations helps but as every thought is an affirmation all the time what are we doing the rest of the time when we're not actually doing our affirmations and that's the stuff we have to watch gotta watch your thoughts now when you find yourself in a negative thing ask yourself just step back a little bit and say oh now it's this criticism this is resentment am i interfere is this guilt start to observe what you're doing instead of beating yourself up for doing it and saying okay I don't have to do this now I can do this another way see if you really believe that nobody ever loves you you can turn that into my life is filled with love and joy and that new seed as you put it in the ground may feel very strange you look at the seed you know and you think I mean if you look at a tomato seed doesn't look like a tomato plant it looks like a funny little dried seed and so is that affirmation you know my life is filled with love and joy and you may even be putting it into sort of rocky soil and you need to make a little space for it there so it can be so then you can repeat it but if you keep repeating if you won't change that all all of that and lots of times we're stuck in again I say this the the limitations of our parents we're still stuck in what they're doing and we forget that we're grown-up people now and we can choose our own things lots of times people have the same illnesses as their parents it's like the good little child wants to have the same thing that mommy or daddy do but it's not necessary the number of people that now have cancer that run in the families is absolutely ridiculous I mean cancer is not hereditary and it's not catching and yet it'll run in families okay let's talk about guilt a little bit guilt the big one that big heavy one that we all carry you know guilt never solves anything it never solves anything if you've really done something that you don't approve of that you think wasn't very good don't do it anymore just stop it let it go but don't don't walk around under a whole thing of guilt don't try to manipulate other people with guilt you know you don't want to lay guilt on other people because if you're doing that remember everything you give up comes back to you so you want to change that you want to give out only wonderful stuff remember there are like four basic premises that I work with what we give out we get back whatever you give out it doesn't matter you're gonna get it back so if you give out a lot of negativity a lot of anger a lot of criticism a lot of guilt guess what you're gonna have in your life experiences that fulfill anger and guilt and criticism and things like that but if you give out love and joy and praise to other people that's gonna come back to you that's gonna come back on a physical level guilt always looks for punishment and punishment creates pain when I used to work with people privately I always knew that if somebody came in with a lot of pain they were dealing with a lot of guilt that they were carrying a lot of old guilt let's talk just a little bit about guilt now yes I have a middle-aged son yes and I feel guilty even though I have had your book for three months and I work with it but also professional huh well and procrastination to me is just a form of not loving yourself but I look at him I see he has I was a very withdrawn child and don't mm-hmm and I see the same thing in him and as I say he's middle-aged and sure he's not quite as much as I was but I feel guilty because I was too strict with him I the best you could coming from where you came from remember we remember he chose you as a mother before he came in so he knew what you were going to give him I'm almost to tears right now yes it's all right he knew the life that he was going to have when he came to you and he wanted you specifically so that you would do what you did now his thing is to overcome that and you can't do that for him but if you really want to help change your son the best way to do that is for you to learn to love yourself because as you do it it's gonna rub off and I've noticed but I haven't accepted it I never knew well said it's funny but I know better but there's much well I haven't instead of wasting energy with him saying you know oh it's such a shame that he's this way and I'm sorry and I'm again you know I did a bad job that's wasted energy because that gun does nothing for nobody doesn't help your son and it certainly doesn't help you it makes you just get smaller because that's a burden so if you can begin to take that time and every time you find yourself saying something like that saying no I don't want to say that anymore I'm going to love myself and if you do nothing more than that you'll start to shift that pattern you may not know exactly how to love yourself but you're willing to love yourself well I know that I have not I I knew before I broke her to just if I didn't like to look in the mirror and today it came up I thought I had worked you dad and when you started with the mirror thing I said well sure no no I wants a second your phony you to myself family phony because I didn't love myself as you're willing to learn I I'm trying to learn no you can't try you can do it or you can't do it or you won't do it but you see you know you can just be Willy just be Willy I have something that's pushing me and that's praying okay we'll see the pain is from your chronic guilt see it isn't worth it when we told on to these patterns it's not worth it it's just not worth it that's so your lesson is to love yourself see your lesson is not to heal your son you didn't come to this planet to heal your son you came to this planet to love yourself and he came to love himself and you can't do it for him like he can't do it for you see I can hear you in there well if he just loved himself than I could love myself it doesn't work that way I cut the string as far as pulling on them he brought me here today and I said that it would be nice if you'd care to go so he said I'll see you later and so that's okay I've reached that point but it's taken medicine for seven years to do that growth that you have made thank you you know acknowledge yourself that's wonderful so you know we have these berries and what are the antidotes for them the antidotes to me are really love and forgiveness and letting go of the past and it sounds simple it is simple it's not always easy but it's very simple to love ourselves to be willing to forgive and to let go of the past come on yes this gentleman here I read someplace some woman said that she's very careful about what she thinks the thoughts that she sends out during the day because she doesn't want them coming back to sit on her chest at night the things we need to realize is that these thoughts that we think go out from us and come back to us but in addition to that they also join with like-minded people so every time you do a resentment number your thoughts are going out and connecting with other people who are into resentment every time you're into fear and you would do a fear number on yourself your thoughts are going out and connecting other fearful people it's the same thing with criticism it's the same thing if you're judgmental or prejudice if you're a judgmental person if you're into prejudice your thoughts are going out from you and connecting with like-minded people on the other hand every time you meditate that is going out from you and connecting with other people on the planet that are meditating every time you do a visualization for healing your body you are connecting with other people out there that are also doing this work every time you do something positive every time you wish the planet well you are connecting with other people that would like to help heal the planet so you also want to think of you know what sort of like-minded people do I want to connect with you see we're at a very delicate balance of power right now we've got the nuclear stuff we've got holes in the ozone layer I mean we have incredible stuff going on and we can either destroy the planet or we can help to heal it and if you take two minutes once a day just to do a little visualization for the healing of the planet you are sending out wonderful positive energy that's going to connect with other people out there all over the planet that are doing the same thing we can destroy our world we can destroy our bodies we can do all sorts of things or we can heal ourselves we can heal our communities and we can heal the world it's up to us and it all begins here now some people are wonderfully active and they go out and do things to save the planet and that's marvelous but each one of us has an ability to help heal this planet we can do that just by the way we use our minds so I would suggest that each one of you take a minute even if it's one minute a day after you've done your own affirmations your own work for yourself and send something out for the planet in fact you might pick a little place on the planet that you would like to help heal and it could be something very far away and exotic it could be Nicaragua or the Union or Siberia or whatever or it could be right around the corner here in West Hollywood or someplace but take that and say this is my place and I'm gonna help heal this and once a day you can take three or four minutes or you could just have one positive thought that you send to that place and you see a peaceful you see people eating well you see people fulfilled and happy you see it wonderful you could take a moment every day to see the end of AIDS on this planet just visualize it visualize either you seeing it on television or hearing it on the radio or reading the cover of Time magazine or something cure for AIDS found put some positive effort into this because we have the power you see we're incredibly powerful people we have our minds and we're learning what to do with our minds these days we're learning that you can send things out and it really comes back to us multiply all right okay there's somebody way in the back here it's put your hand up because Tom doesn't know where to go I feel like I'm going backwards but I really need to hear what you have to say about visualization I've been trying to use it on myself to cure my cancer and sometimes I feel like I'm not doing it right well would you share with me your visualization well I tried to imagine to picture the good killer cells in my body attacking the cancer okay taking it away but when I'm through with my visualization I always get doubts that I haven't done it correctly is this something that you've done in your life a lot doubted that you haven't done it right are you a killer person no well then I would suggest that perhaps you change your visualization because if you're using killer cells and you're not a killer person it may not work when I at my own cancer I use the visualization of cool clear water washing the diseased cells out of my body and you may need a visualization that's a little more gentle perhaps these whoever's handling the cancer cells could come in and lovingly carry them away something that would not be so offensive to you on another level now on the other level this whole thing about doubt how many people here deal with doubt oh sorry let me give you an image for doubt it's a little bit different than maybe what you think you know I like to think of the subconscious mind down here this is your subconscious mind this is where everything goes and ever since you've been a little child you every message that you've had everything you've done all the experiences that you have everything you've said has gone into this these filing cabinets down here and I like to think of lots of little messengers down there and when you think a thought or you have an experience the message goes down they grab the the message they look at it and they put it in the appropriate file and for a long time you have perhaps been building up files that say I'm not good enough I'll never make it you know I don't do it right I mean you're getting absolutely buried under these files and then all of a sudden you do an affirmation that says I'm wonderful and I love myself and it goes down and they pick up this thing and they say what is this where does it go we've never seen this before so what they do is they call doubt doubt come over here and go up and see what's going on so doubt picks up the message and comes up to you and says hey look at this you know you've always been saying this and here it is and you can react one of two ways you go oh you're right I'm terrible I'm no good I'm sorry that's not the right message and go back to your own old things or you can say to doubt thank you for sharing and this is this is see don't treat doubt as an enemy to treat doubt as a messenger that's a friend and thanked out for bring coming up and looking at you and saying now that was the old message but this isn't the new message now go down and start a new file and there's gonna be lots of these coming through and if you look at doubt that way and begin to treat doubt that way then doubt becomes your friend you see we need to change our thinking because changing our thinking changes our reality so if we can change what we think we're going to change our experiences so let's know for ourselves now that life is a joy make these some personal loss for you life is a joy let yourself this be true for you let's know that we are safe I am safe I am safe and I am loving and loved I am loving and loved let's note for ourself that it's easy to forgive let's know for ourselves that we have glowing health I have wonderful glowing health and that we prosper wherever we are and that all is well in our world all is well in our world thank you very much thank you for coming we'll play again one of these days [Music] [Applause] you

Channel: Damien Munro

Views: 46,652

Rating: 4.8830409 out of 5

Keywords: Heal Your Life, You Can Heal Your Life, Louise Hay, Overcome Challenges, Motivation, Abraham Hicks, Gabrielle Bernstein, Byron Katie, Brene Brown, The Secret, Law Of Attraction, Mindfulness

Id: 4FvfQL1MQDg

Length: 57min 34sec (3454 seconds)

Published: Wed May 01 2019