Louise Hay on Change and Transition

this program was recorded with a live audience please forgive the occasional sound fluctuations you haven't heard a word yet tonight i want to talk about change change and transition and of course change that's what we want everybody else to do isn't it you know we don't want to do it but we want everybody else to change so that our life will be different and yet of course you know any changes that we're going to do at all have to come from within ourselves they absolutely must and change to me means that you change from a feeling of separation and isolation and loneliness and anger and fear and pain and into a state of peacefulness wonderful peacefulness where you can relax and really enjoy life as it comes to you knowing that everything will be all right you know i run into that premise that life is wonderful and that everything is perfect in my world and i move into my greater good always and that way it doesn't really matter to me which direction my life takes because i know it's going to be wonderful so i can enjoy all sorts of things you know gerald jampolsky says that love is letting go of fear and there is either fear or there's love and if you're not in a love space if you're not coming from the loving space of the heart then then you're in fear and all those other things like isolation and separation and things like that and loneliness and anger they're all part of the fear syndrome and that's really what we want to change from we want to move from fear into love and to make that as more or less a permanent state for us you know even the planet itself these days is very much in this period of change and transition we see it all around us we're going from an old order into a new order and some people say it began with the aquarian age and the at least the astrologers like to describe it that way but you know to me astrology and numerology and palmistries and all those other various methodologies are just ways of describing life they explain life in a slightly different way and people use different language to do this but the astrologers say that we're moving out of the piscean age and into the aquarian age now and you know in the piscean age we reached outside of us and looked to other people to save us we looked for other people to do it for us but in the aquarian age which we're entering now people are beginning to go within and find that they have the power to save themselves and this is a wonderful liberating thing for us now some people get very frightened because it seems to be responsibility but actually we're discovering our ability to respond to life not in a victim way but in a way that gives us power to the way that gives us power we're finding that we're getting a connection to what the aaa people call the higher power and what i call our higher self so that we can contribute to saving ourselves and it's a wonderful feeling when you don't really have to be dependent on an outside person but to know that you have within you tremendous abilities to make positive changes in your life you see if we're victims then we feel isolated we feel in pain and fear and we're always looking for someone else to do it for us but now we're taking as i said responsibility for own lives and we're beginning to understand how we can contribute to the experiences that we have and how we can change those experiences if we don't really care for them and of course you know from the moment you decide to make a change until you get your demonstration as we call it or when you get what you want we have this transitional period and that's when we're moving between the old order and the new order it's a time of releasing old beliefs and old habits and of learning and practicing and then living the things that we're working on the new beliefs or the new feelings or the new methods or the new behaviors and while you're getting those in place so that they are a natural part of your life you're going to have a lot of vacillating in that period between the old and the new and you go back and forth between what you what was and what you what you would like to be or what would you would like to have and if you decide that you're going to release an old belief and that you're going to create a new one during that transitional period you're going to go back and forth and this is a time when we often get very angry at ourselves because it's like well i know all about the new why aren't i doing it i must not be good enough or i must be a bad person but that's silly because anything that we're learning takes time and you go back and forth and back and forth until you're really strong in the new belief until you've gone to the complete shift you know you may begin to do an affirmation for something and you're doing well and then something happens and you say oh i can't do that and you go back to your old worry habit again well that's just a period of vacillating it doesn't mean that you haven't learned anything and it doesn't mean that you're back where you started it's just part of that back and forth thing you're not settled in your new habit yet and that takes a little time and a little practice and a little patience and you want to be patient with yourself be patient with yourself you know you want to build yourself up instead of beating yourself up there's a tremendously different image if you just think of it do your thoughts build you up or do they beat you up when you beat yourself up you know that's not being very loving to yourself sometimes we don't need to make outward changes so much as to go within and just sort of take what we already do and alter it just a little bit somebody was saying to me tonight that they were thinking about a new apartment and they were worrying that there wouldn't be enough money and i said well why don't you start affirming there will be lots of money and you know it's just like a tiny little thing and you almost change two words but it's a small way of changing the way you look at a particular situation somebody was asking me saying that they were in a lot of pain and you know they kept using the word pain so much and they said is there another word that i could use and i thought of the time that i smashed my finger with an um a window and i realized that if i really gave into it i was going to go through a very difficult period so the minute it happened i started to do some mental work right away but then i remember i was referring to my finger as having a lot of sensation and it did it had a lot of sensation and you know by insisting upon viewing it in that particular way to me i think helped it heal much quicker and help me handle what could have been an incredibly painful thing because i knew that if i could alter my mind it would be better if we can just alter the way we think just a little bit so those of us who want to change we're moving from an old order to a new order and lots and lots of things are happening on this planet i don't think things on the planet are so very different than they used to be but we seem to be more aware of things i see things in the paper all the time and i think oh my goodness are we really doing that and then as i continue to read it seems like we've been doing it for a long time but it's coming to the surface we seem to see more negativity but you know if you want to clean your own mental house if you decide to work on yourself and you're going to go inside you have to look and see what is there you have to look and see what your beliefs are so you know what to change you can't clean out the negativity if you don't see it if you're going to clean your own house it's the same thing you have to look around and see where the dirt is you have to pick things up and dust them and look around and polish them or throw them out or replace them but you have to see what's there and if we're going to make a big transitional phase on this planet and really help to heal this planet we're going to have to look and see what's occurring here we're going to have to see what's happening and to uncover the negativity and the things that have been hidden for a long time are going to come to the surface and i think that part of this transitional phase that we're going through i think part of the catalyst for this is this crisis called aids you know i really want to help create a world where it's safe for us to love each other that's all just to love each other a world where we can be loved and accepted exactly as we are that's what you wanted when you were a little child when you were little you wanted to be loved just as you were even if you were too skinny or too heavy or if you weren't smart enough or you weren't like the person across the street or maybe you were scared but you still wanted to be loved and it's the same thing we're all looking for now only we're not going to get this love and acceptance from other people unless we can give it to ourselves when we feel good enough to be loved then others will love and accept us too it's really that simple i think that we come to this planet to learn and to practice unconditional love and it's not always an easy thing to do but i think that's what we've come here for to have unconditional love first of all for ourselves no matter what they said or what they did to us in the past and also to give that same unconditional love to other people to just allow them to be who they are and to get rid of this them and us because it's not them and us it's all us and we need to know that and if we're going to heal this planet we have to know it's all us and there are no groups that are expendable and there are no groups that are less than there may be many people who are in so much pain that they're being harmful to other people but you know if we can understand that acts of violence come from a person who was a traumatized child now this is not to condone people who do violent things but to understand that if we want to change them if you want people to become loving and peaceful then you have to teach them to come from a loving space of the heart and you're not going to teach them that if you don't know how to do it yourself you don't create wars and kill people you don't beat people you don't throw people into prisons or torture them or do things like that you teach them to forgive and to love themselves so they'll never do those violent things again because you realize that people who love themselves cannot hurt themselves and they cannot hurt another person and to me that's the answer to world peace and harmony and all sorts of wonderful things so to help as many people as possible learn to love who they are it's very simple that's my work in this world is to help people love themselves to love ourselves so that we can get to this new order of what i see as unconditional love and peace and plenty for everyone and i know that it's possible if we can just get the nonsense out of the way i believe that when we leave the planet the only thing we take with us is our capacity to love we take our capacity to love with us and that's all we don't take our relationships we don't take our automobiles or our bank accounts or our jobs we take our capacity to love and we have many many opportunities to open our hearts on a much deeper level than we have to me love is the answer i really believe that love is the answer it's powerful it helps us it helps other people how do you give love to the world what are you doing to create your own inner harmony what do you do on a daily basis to make yourself feel good inside or do you just sit and about what you don't have well it's one way of handling it but doesn't change the situation you know you're not going to do it by being mad at yourself or being mad at other people and you're not going to do it by blaming people and you're not going to do it by being a victim so what is it you do how do you express unconditional love in your life even a little bit is there a small area of your life where you're willing to give unconditional love how are you experiencing peace within you and around you and if you're not doing it now are you willing to begin are you willing to start creating inner harmony and peace another question to ask yourself is do you really want to change do you want to change or do you want to just sit there and complain about what you don't have or do you want to be a person who really has and creates a much more wonderful life than you have now and if you're willing to change you can if you're willing to do the work involved which means changing the way you're thinking then you can change your life for the better people come up to me a lot and say oh louise you've changed my life well i don't change anybody's life i don't do that i'm not a healer i don't heal anybody i don't change anybody i don't have that kind of power only you can change yourself and only you can clean out the pain within you i can't do that for you i can stand up here all evening and say wonderful things and give lots of good advice but you're the only thinker in your mind and you're going to make the decision of what you want to do with the information that you're being given i have no power over you you have the power and you need to know that we think so often that we are helpless but we're not helpless because we have our minds we have our minds and you shape and mold your life from moment to moment by your thoughts and your beliefs and your attitudes and you also want to know that you really are important to this world you might say well i really don't do anything but you are just the fact that you're alive is important and your life has meaning it really does and you can contribute to the peace and the harmony of this planet just by using your mind now some people get involved politically and some people march and some people do peace corps and some people help feed the homeless and do all sorts of things and that's fine but you can also contribute to the peace and harmony of the planet just as much by how you use your mind and remember every time you think every time you're thinking you're connecting with like-minded people think of that for a minute i heard a quote not long ago that i really like robert schuller who's with the un said that the human species needs to know that we deserve to have peace we have to accept it mentally see a lot of people believe that war is inevitable and that war is forever and that we're always going to have war and i think those people are contributing to it by their thinking contributing to the continuance of wars but if we know that we deserve to have peace and that it is possible it can become true for us and as we begin by creating peace within us and then within our small circle of family or friends and at our workplaces and then we let this peacefulness ripple out we will find more and more peace on the planet so remember that practicing inner peace will help us to connect with like-minded peaceful people all over the world spirituality connects us all over this planet on a soul level and the sense of cosmic spirituality that is we're experiencing now is just wonderful when i talk about spirituality i don't always mean religion you know religions have a tendency to separate us and religions often tell us who to love and how to love them and who's lovable and who isn't to me we're all lovable i really believe that we are all worthy of love for love to me is the only thing that's going to bring about lasting cha positive changes to our planet our spirituality is a direct connection with the ultimate higher source and we don't need a middle man for that begin to see our spirituality connecting us all over the planet on a very deep soul level so what sort of like-minded people do you want to connect with every time you get into judgment and criticism you're connecting with like-minded people out there who are judgmental and critical and this will come back to you remember what we give out always comes back and every time you meditate you're connecting with like-minded people out there who are meditating and meditating to me really means just closing your eyes and going within and being quiet long enough to hear your own inner wisdom you really have the answers within you you have all the answers within you and you need to quiet down long enough to hear them and that to me is the purpose of meditation it's a connection with yourself with your higher self so every time you do that you're also connecting with other people who are also doing that and every time you do a visualization for healing your body or for healing the planet you're also connecting with like-minded people who are doing the same thing and several times during the day you might stop and ask yourself what sort of people am i connecting with now just sort of catch your thoughts where you are and are you sort of going oh grumble grumble grumble it's all your fault or are you thinking thoughts to create inner harmony and inner peace because if you create inner harmony you're going to have outer harmony too remember if we want to heal the world we really have to start with healing ourselves because the center of your world is where you are you are the center of your world and so are you and so are you each one of us we are all the center of our own world so the world goes out from us like ripples in a pond and when we create harmony inside when we're peaceful within then that goes out into the world that harmony and that peacefulness radiates out touching people and places and things you know how it is somebody can walk into a room and they don't have to say a word and you can be attracted to them or you can be repelled by them we react to what they're giving out somehow we feel those vibrations we pick up what people have going on inside of them so let's make sure that we are re radiating harmony and love i believe that in order to change the planet and to change other people in our lives we need to first change ourselves we need to love ourselves we need to be willing to contribute to our own inner peace and inner harmony and we also need to be honest with ourselves you know we're so good at hiding from ourselves but if we're going to make changes we need to have self-honesty and that doesn't mean putting ourselves down but it does mean being willing to see what is within us that needs changing it's very self-destructive when we lie to ourselves it's not loving ourselves and it's not being nourishing at all we need to be honest with ourselves and we also need to be honest with other people and we need to learn how to say no in a loving way and not always yes and then do things that we don't want to do and then resent it because we weren't honest enough to say no and i don't think it's so easy to be honest with other people until we can become more honest with ourselves and the main value of being honest is that whatever we give out in life we always get back and this works on all levels if we belittle or judge others then we too are going to be judged if we're always angry and blaming others then we encounter anger wherever we go if we steal someone's time or if we take away someone's self-respect or if we refuse to acknowledge someone else's good work we can expect these dishonest actions to boomerang back to us as negative experiences on the other hand every time we treat ourselves with respect every time we nourish and support ourselves and others this also comes back to us as positive experiences no matter how we may try to justify it dishonest actions never work they never work and the more you get on the spiritual pathway the quicker it comes back to you when we take something that doesn't belong to us whether it's a paper clip at the office to major shoplifting or robbery we are in effect telling the universe that we don't feel worthy of earning our own and that we're not good enough that we believe that there isn't enough to go around that we want to be stolen from or we may believe that we must be sneaky and grabbed to get our good you know if we believe that it's a dog eat dog world then we're gonna get eaten because that's the way it works these beliefs prevent us from experiencing abundance because they put walls up around us and you don't get to experience the joy and the peace and love in your life if we take from life life will take from us it's that simple and these negative attitudes they're not the truth of your being you are a divine magnificent expression of life and you deserve the very best you have to know and accept this our planet is abundantly plentiful and our good always comes to us by the right use of consciousness what we believe about ourselves and about our lives will become true for us if we want to change our circumstances we must change our belief systems ask yourself periodically you know what do i really believe about this and think about it and what do i feel and do i really want to do what they're asking me and why am i doing this start examining your thoughts and what's going on inside of you be honest with yourself and find out what you're really thinking and believing don't just be on automatic pilot all the time you know and say oh well this is the way i am or this is what i do you know why do you do it and if it isn't a positive nourishing experience in your life see if you can figure out where you it came from where did you first do it was that something you were taught as a child you know maybe it's time to let that one go you don't need that anymore if you have that you know this is just the way it is well then with that attitude you can't change it's not possible and also if you know everything if you're a person who knows it all who knows everything you can't change because you can't let a new idea get in we want to be willing to learn and to grow and what we're always working for is more understanding and awareness and knowledge so that we can do and experience things differently that's all you don't want to berate yourself for what you used to do or where you are or what you don't know or you don't have just learn more study you know go to classes read books listen to tapes talk to other people there's so much stuff that we can learn now it's just wonderful learn about yourself learn about your beliefs learn about the way your particular mind works and is it working in a way that really enhances your life explore a lot of new avenues so that you can begin to understand more allow new ideas in and expand your consciousness you know we hear so much these days about addictions and we think there are there are many many kinds of addictions besides just the chemical ones you know when we say addiction we immediately think oh the chemical thing but there's also pattern addictions and every one of us has some sort of addiction because they're really patterns that we adopt to keep ourselves from being in present time you know we don't want to deal with what's in front of us so we have some way of getting away we don't allow ourselves to be where we are and to know what's really going on in our own lives so we each have an addiction i don't know what yours are we all have something whatever it is that we do for some people it's a food addiction for some people it's a chemical addiction and for other people it could be an emotional addiction remember you can even be addicted to finding fault in people a lot of people like that one you can be addicted to fear you know if you're somebody who's addicted to finding fault in people then no matter what's going on you find somebody else to blame it's their fault they did it or maybe you're addicted to running up bills there are so many people that are so addicted to debt and you know they do everything they can to be over their heads in debt constantly and it doesn't seem to have a lot to do with whether they have any money or not the amount of money and so being in debt if you think of it is an addiction it's a pattern addiction that we do you can be addicted to rejection to having people reject you and if that's one of your addictions then everywhere you go you're going to attract people who reject you you know who's watching me who's going to reject me who's not going to accept me however the rejection out there is always a mirror a reflection of the rejection that we have within us if you don't reject yourself nobody else is going to reject you or if they do it certainly isn't going to matter you won't pay any attention to it if you get upset because other people are rejecting you you have to know that's because you're rejecting yourself and so ask yourself honestly how do i reject myself where am i not accepting so you might think about addictions and what addiction do you have and could you change your addiction your negative addiction into a positive one if you're going to be addicted to something why don't you be addicted to loving yourself or addicted to doing positive affirmations or addicted to something that really supports you and loves you we also talk a lot about stress these days it's such a key word everybody is stressed out or it's so much it's a catch word and we use it so much these days and i think it's really become a cop-out word too oh i'm so stressed out or this is so stressful it's all the stress stress you know but think about what stress really means you know stress to me equals fear so next time you're thinking about how stressed you are ask yourself what you're frightened about ask yourself how you're overloading yourself how are you burdening yourself what are you doing to yourself that's creating this fear within you so that you don't have inner harmony and peace don't just use it as a word to be a cop out stress is not inner harmony inner harmony is being at peace with yourself and when you're at peace with yourself you do things one thing at a time and you don't let things get to you you can't have stress in inner harmony at the same time they don't equate so i see stress as fear and ask yourself then if you're feeling stressed how can i release this fear how can i be at peace with myself what can i do nothing has any power over you and don't give a little word like stress a lot of power you are the power you are powerful you're the one that can make the changes so to me love is the answer and if we're going to make changes it has to come from a loving space of the heart so that the changes will be permanent will they'll be permanent and when you love yourself life is so much easier and much more fun and people resist loving themselves so much i know i did at the beginning but really when you do it's just so much more fun it really is you enjoy life you wake up in the morning and you're glad to find yourself there start connecting with yourself support yourself really do wonderful things for yourself and then you can easily and effortlessly give to the world it won't be a struggle at all and that light that you're using to go within and find your own love you'll be able to carry like a beacon for other people who are still in darkness remember every person that learns to love themselves makes it that much easier for other people to do it too becoming enlightened is finding your own light and then shining it for other people and know that you can do it you're really powerful and you can make the changes that you want just take the first steps and keep going a little step after step after step you know don't insist that you do it all in one leap take the steps remember impatience is a resistance to learning that's all it is it's like you want the answer without learning the lesson or doing the steps so you know ask yourself what is it i need to do next and even if you don't know the answer the very fact that you're asking it the universe will hear and will present it in front of you they'll say this is what you do next and then maybe you say oh no but i don't want to do that as i said before i want to create a world where it's safe for people to love each other where we can all do that i don't want dependency i don't want people to be dependent on me that's not what i'm looking for at all i don't want to be a guru or a healer i'm just a simple lady with a simple message of love yourself and get your act together i want you all to be healthy and prosperous and loving and peaceful and filled with joy because that's going to make a better world for me to live in all right let's do questions i see there's a mic here and a mic there and there and there so um yes what i was going to ask about is going through all this process myself i found how easy it is to be negative and it's sort of like a natural an old family pattern yeah well it probably is yeah but it's uh it goes it seems to be very easy and very natural i'm wondering what the source of it is why is it so pervasive it seems like it's sort of everywhere it's the sort of the natural not everywhere no it is not natural and it is not everywhere though it's a lot of places and if you're a person who thinks negatively all the time you will attract to yourself other people who do it and you think the whole world is full of it however as you do make the changes then again you connect with other like-minded people and you'll find that probably your circle of friends will change either they will change themselves or you'll have different people so it sounds like you're also in that transition period of going from one to another and the old pattern of being thinking very negatively just keeps bouncing up but you know if you keep practicing it'll work it really will okay thank you that that's my belief anyway all right there's a microphone up here i see louise yes first i'd like you to know that there is something new and special in the boston area it's a women's healing circle one of the my friends in the circle and i have been discussing is we know we can use affirmations to change our attitudes and we believe that our thoughts and our meditations can send love and peace to the world but can we affirm and affect a specific person's attitude or actions towards us that's manipulation and you can't do that if you do it'll boomerang no you can see them in love and light and know that they're at peace with themselves but you can't manipulate their actions you don't know what their spiritual lesson is and you really don't have any right to interfere like you wouldn't want somebody doing that to you and you may think that what you're wanting for them is the best for them but if it really was maybe they'd have it we're just talking about sending and receiving love back love is fine oh yes i mean as long as it isn't a specific thing no just okay love and kindness oh you can do that for the whole planet and peace oh that's a wonderful thing to do that's what i'm talking about sending out thoughts and connected with other like-minded people and that they return it to us whether they do or not all right thank you all right okay [Applause] how do you deal with people in say a work environment that are constantly negative and you're being positive but that negativity is around you well one it's interesting that you're in a work environment where everybody's negative and you're positive you know and i'm wondering why that is why don't you start knowing for yourself that you always work in an area what is peaceful and joyful where people really appreciate you and appreciate life and don't say that so and so has to be that way but start knowing for yourself that this is where you work these are the kind of people that you are surrounded with because by doing that you can either help them change some of their stuff because they'll be responding differently or you may find yourself in another place where people are like that you know and when you think of them don't think about how negative they are you know everybody has every quality in them and respond to the joyfulness or the peacefulness or the respect or whatever that's in them and start knowing that they have those qualities and they can come to the surface even though they're constantly saying negative things well i wouldn't pay attention to that because we want to get your consciousness to change but if your own consciousness changes there are enough people around that are negative how do you get when your consciousness really changes they won't do it or you won't be there so there's they're still reflecting something within you what do i need to work on myself what is the main thing that you complain about them but if they're all so negative to other people not to me per se but negative always always negative to other people okay why why are you there i like it there oh you like it okay start affirming that you're always surrounded by wonderful people that see life in the most positive way and that are a joy to work with and be around okay all right it's your consciousness yes me yes yes up there whoever's up there um i guess i heard a lot of things tonight that really felt incredibly good but i do have one burning question sure and that's where does god fit into all this i i hear you talking about the power that i can have but yet in my recovery program i'm learning that i am powerless and i have to ask for help how does the affirmation when you turn to the power within you that to me is god now i purposely don't use the word god because i find that it turns off a lot of people but to me all the the words that i use are really speaking of god because god is all that is you know part of it it's us and i don't i don't see any separation at all i think that you are being powerful when you choose your higher power when you turn to your higher power now you may be according to the group that you're in powerless over a certain situation but not when you turn to your higher power you know it's your connection the more you turn to your higher power the more powerful you become and i think it's just a little bit of semantics there but i don't think there's any difference in the meaning thanks okay all right yes speak to me my name is peter oh hello peter i've never spoken in front of a room this big before well you have now honey you are doing it uh i guess my question is really simple and uh it's how i live in a big city by myself i don't have that many close friends and living alone um i guess what can i do to bring this stuff into myself when i am by myself okay you know it's interesting because i can't tell you how many uh couples will say oh if i were only by myself it would be so easy to do this it works both ways i had a companion if only you had a companion well what are you doing to create one do you just wish yeah well that's what a lot of people do what do you believe about yourself do you believe you're lovable i'd like to well what's stopping you um there's someone down here eager [Applause] as long as you're there why don't you state your requirements you may not get out of this room i'll tell you one of the things i'm doing i'm here tonight yes that's wonderful okay great all right thank you okay i'm not making fun of you because many of us are in the same place you know it's one of the reasons that i think the support groups are so wonderful get with other people who are also studying and it helps it's wonderful if you can have like-minded people that are doing it together and if you can get a friend who's doing it also that's just wonderful but first of all observe your thoughts notice what you're thinking and if like this gentleman here he says i see negative thoughts all the time well that's not a bad thing it means you're noticing them you're seeing what can be changed start noticing what you're thinking and maybe write down some of your thoughts every so often and say are these beliefs going to create the things i want in life and if not what could i do what could i start thinking there are lots of books and tapes out not only mine but many people have wonderful books and tapes out that you can get ideas and you just begin where you are and also you say i'm willing to change you know and the thing i love is this i'm open and receptive to wonderful good experiences coming into my life it's this you know you don't say oh i'm looking for a new lover where i'm open and receptive to and then state what you want start letting the word go out mentally but i think it's wonderful you're here and you're ready for the next step you'll do it okay all right the lady here your turn i'm doing this one i was wondering when you're in the healing process and you're making a lot of changes how do you express anger without feeling guilty okay she says when you're in the healing process and you're experiencing a lot of changes how do you express anger as positively as you can uh no the thing is that a lot of people get on the spiritual pathway and they think oh i must not be angry i must only forgive you know and that's wonderful when you get to that point but in the transition period there's a lot of rage inside and it's good if you let it out and you can do that in positive ways you can kick pillows you can scream in the car you can take a tennis racket and smash the bed or something like that uh but get let yourself have a physical expression if you can be with a therapist who's good at working at releasing anger that's wonderful if you can be in a support group where they work on those things that's great too there are many ways that you can do it but you don't want to deny your feelings remember anger is not bad babies get angry babies get livid and you know it but they get they express it immediately and then it's gone it's all gone we swallow it and smile and and smile and we do that over and over again and it lodges in our bodies and it becomes resentment and that's when we get into trouble so if you're in the process of making changes and you're having feelings come up whatever they are flow with them and if they're too intense for you to handle get yourself to a therapist or a support group so you can do it in a safe setting but don't deny your feelings ever and don't try to be you know to not have them because you are having them that's why they were given to you to get you through situations okay thank you okay there yes um i'm a nurse and i deal with a lot of people that are suffering and pain and dying yes and i find that it's hard for me to separate when i go home i take that home with me but um i'm finding that um i can't separate sometimes especially in dealing with aids patients i find that the grief is so overwhelming sometimes yes and i'm wondering so what do you do then what do you do when it's so overwhelming well i don't know yet i'm working do you let yourself have hysterics no well i think you'd better you can't hold that stuff you know the aids is bringing up so many issues for people that they don't know how to deal with and uh when we see a lot of suffering it really hurts and you can't just pretend it doesn't exist you have to give your feelings an outlet and if you're really feeling a lot of intense feelings let yourself have them let yourself cry let yourself do something let yourself look in the mirror and scream it isn't fair or whatever you feeling inside let it out because you're only going to create problems for your own body you know one of the things with aids is that it the grieving process takes a full year to begin to get over when someone dies it takes you have to go through all the seasons and after that you begin to let go but what happens if somebody's dying every six months or every three months or every month or every week how do you handle the grieving process because you don't really get to get into it and you never get out of it and many people are dealing with these issues and it's almost like being a war people just don't know how to handle it and those people that are working with aids are dealing i keep thinking of it was like sailing on uncharted waters with no map and doing the best you can and there's a lot of intense feelings that are there and you have to take care of yourself the best you can and i know it's not easy yes i've been recovering from an illness for about a year in surgery and using your positive affirmations um and really have had a very very positive year but medically i have to have you have to have lab work done about every three months and it keeps coming back saying contrary to what i am saying my positive affirmations and i really get confused with what to do with that well are you working with your doctor yes yes all right i'm working he's doing the medical stuff yes and you're doing the other stuff i'm doing the healing all right well is he doing something positive for you too he he's a real positive person and he's very positive about feeling that i'm going to have full recovery the lab work just isn't cooperating well don't give don't give too much importance to lab work you know a lot of people are doing that especially people with t cells they go up and down and the numbers decide whether you're going to be happy or not you know how do you feel i i've had an excellent year all right you've had an excellent year yes all right and you're working well with your doctor and you're working on yourself and that's their game you know let them don't i wouldn't even look at them you know let your doctor have that he needs that information let him have that and you just keep knowing for yourself you do everything you can for your own health and to improve the quality of your life and don't let those numbers tell you that you're sick if you're feeling well go on what you're feeling thank you yes um yeah i have a body question sure i i need your advice or what techniques can you tell me about that would help me to accept a part of my body that i cannot change it's it's a birth defect it's um specifically it's my my two legs are different sizes uh-huh and one leg is considerably well i feel that it's considerably larger and um than the other one and i have a difficult time accepting this um it's not an everyday disease or whatever so there are no affirmations i don't know what affirmation i could say to myself or what techniques i appreciate the miracle of my body okay according to vogue magazine let's say it may not be you know the perfect thing but that is really nonsense you know no baby has ever measured its hips to find its self-worth thank you and your self-worth has nothing to do with the size of your legs it really doesn't your self-worth has to do with how you feel about yourself you know if you weren't picking on your legs what would you be picking on about yourself well i'm too busy picking on my leg i can't think of something well you know it's it's sort of a limited way of thinking and it's a waste of time because you really have a lot to do in this world you know i don't know why this particular condition is part of you uh it is and that's just what it is and you can make a big deal out of it or you can get on with your life and just enjoy and love who you are and you know that to me remember your self-worth has nothing to do with that and it has nothing to do with your lovability you are lovable thank you very much all right sweetheart yes among other people that we choose our parents you also said there are some people who have aids whose parents reject them did they choose those parents oh i think so not only do i think that they chose the parents but i think the parents chose them i think it works both ways you know it's part of the the lessons that we've come here to learn and sometimes we need to have a lesson of opening a heart that is very closed you know and we give ourselves like a little obstacle or something but i think everything is in perfect order i think the parents that you have are absolutely perfect for you that's why you're here you know if you really if you had really made a mistake by choosing those parents you would have gotten out very very early but if you're here now they were the perfect ones and the stuff you need to work out with them is the stuff you need to work out with them that's part of what it is this time around yes some work to do with this yes no you don't you know you don't have to believe everything i say and if you're sort of new to these ideas uh it really pushes a button when you say you know you chose your parents i mean i know the first time i heard that i went you've got to be kidding me thank you for saying that yes but the more that you really start examining it the more it makes sense to me it really does so whatever i'm saying tonight you know if you walk out of here with one sentence that can help you improve the quality of your life that's wonderful you don't have to get it all just get what you can and work with it i support your growth and i love you all we'd like to do now is a nice meditation let's turn the lights down if we could if you'd like close your eyes [Music] i don't really understand how they can take my voice and make it sound like this but it's part of the new brainwave technology all right we've talked of many things tonight we've stirred the pot we've pushed a lot of buttons and a lot of awakenings for many people and this is wonderful each one of us here tonight myself included has learned something that will help us improve the quality of our lives see yourself standing in a very safe space releasing burdens and pains and fears old negative addictions and patterns see them falling away from you and then see yourself standing there with your arms wide open saying i am open and receptive too and declaring for yourself what it is you want not what you don't want but what you do want and know that it is possible see yourself whole and healthy at peace [Music] [Music] see yourself filled with love [Music] and in this room feel your connection with the other people and feel the love that is in this room and know that you're part of it and the love in this room can move from heart to heart and as your love goes around this room it comes back to you multiplied for this room tonight has become an incredible circle of love see yourself in the center of the circle surrounded by love safe at peace and in harmony with all of life [Music] you have the ability to love your life and to love yourself and so it is [Music] you

Channel: HealYourLife

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Id: c7mnNrx6-BU

Length: 60min 32sec (3632 seconds)

Published: Fri Jul 31 2020