DISCORD ROLEPLAY COMPETITION (ft. jschlatt & Slimecicle)

role-playing is an art because you can pretend to be what you're never gonna be in life i can pretend to be successful or a max of failure now i'm gonna beat the [ __ ] out of this person but don't worry that this is not a real person oh [ __ ] just kidding it was all role play today we are hosting a competition to find the best role players on discord let's get started thanks to raycon for sponsoring this video how you guys doing you guys you guys doing good oh i'm feeling all right you're feeling all right are you ready for this yeah so the competition is really simple part one of this competition is we're gonna choose our improv team i am team one schlatt is team two slimesicle is team three i'm just i'm getting my team right now that's not okay that's not how it works since we don't have buzzers whenever we want someone in our team we're gonna have to do this [Laughter] yeah yes guys if you want to win and i need you to play the scale i need you to do the scale come on let's go come on let's go i want this guy that's not how it works yes contestant number one they're gonna have to impress us and they're gonna have to give us their absolute best improv scene are you fellas ready hello pancake oh yo what's up not gonna lie i have to [ __ ] really bad okay is this part of the scene or is it like no this is like i have to poop really bad bro no no it's fine it's fine we'll go with the classic one we are millionaires from shark tank you got to show us a project that you made for shark tank [Music] all right sharks here's my new and latest inventions it's called the poop vacuum you put it in your ass in the sun it fits in nice and clean it's just a one and done load and then you're good to go you can improve it prove it we'll be back after a quick message from our sponsor raycon when i listen to music i want the full experience but sometimes other things get in the way not anymore thanks to raycon earbuds hey hey where are you i am wearing it right now raycon earbuds are incredible earbuds that have just about everything you need when it comes to ear audio raycons are actually included in a wide variety of colors and patterns and they are so comfortable if it's just about anyone and anything you can think of is that a ray cut earbuds case which is small and practical you can charge your raycon earbuds around four times in a single charge they start at about half the price of any other premium wireless earbuds on the market that you can think of this new model everyday e25 earbuds are the ones that i'm currently using right now commonly which is this one they have around six hours of play time more bass a better compact design and i personally use them to exercise i i know you can't tell you can use my link by recon dot com slash quackity for 15 off on your order and thanks again to raycon for sponsoring this video now returning to regular programming you want me to prove it huh you're just showing us a funny tube and we you just you just expect us to believe it just works wait which shark are you charlie i'm the i'm the i'm the ass shark i've never seen shark tank i don't know i'll i'll help you out i'll help you out i'm gonna be i'm gonna be barbara corcoran okay okay okay i'm out barbara come here you're making a mistake i'm senile how much are you asking for like a couple dollars i'm just trying to get it four for four yeah is that just a regular vacuum [Music] maybe you'd make a fine addition to my 4x4 team i just made the choice i just made the choice you've been recruited all right no one else i don't even know what a 4x4 is hello pickle i'm in a safe place now where i will not disturb my family you're not in a safe place at all you have to do improv for us and the situation is that you are a big gay janitor janitor okay that looks like that you're delivering pizza to our house a big gay janitor delivers a pizza is that okay perfect all right doorbell ding who is it oh with janitor here with your pizza oh [ __ ] guys oh my god he's back pizza thing this time pepperoni slices why is he speaking like daniel day lewis he's trying to break down the door with his big game mop we can't let him in here oh my god what are we going to do he's so big open this door okay you should open you should you should i can't i can't even properly deliver a pizza i ordered a pepperoni pizza ordered pepperoni yes where is it we didn't even order a pizza yo if you need me to clean your bathroom i got you yeah come on in bro all right let's go [Applause] pickle join me pickle what is what she what are you doing two judges asked for you to join their team who's steve are you gonna join i'll go with slime sick i haven't even watched any of schlotz [Applause] hello joker what's up joker baby baby off to a pretty good start turns out you're smuggling contraband through the border and we are three officers who are questioning you also you're the joker also you're the joker oh my god sir what are you carrying in your car no i ain't carrying nothing sir just don't look at the sweat on my forehead no step out of the vehicle i can't get out what are you telling me get out you didn't see like wheelchair god i'm gonna get fired no i'm not i'm not i'm not gonna speak to you manager you're the manager you got to speak to this guy what do you want i'm on my break i got a gun baby that's right you know what i got a wheelchair what about that why do you have a wheelchair what what the hell are you gonna do about that mr manager mr big boss how'd you get him out of the car well i i rolled myself out i'm like a decepticon you know like whoop all right and get a wheelchair and then i love it i do not listen to these people i want you in my team joker join me [Applause] yeah you guys must be scared over what a [ __ ] great team i'm making over here great brisket what is up i have a piece of toast in my mouth where are you from i'm from washington why are you eating toast at this hour i had an alarm set for four so my dad woke me up like 30 minutes ago well we three are your children and you're our dad and we're supposed to wake up an hour ago and we didn't but you don't know why so you're coming in the room to find out okay hi dad you're asleep so no no no start from the top okay then i'm asleep wake the [ __ ] up children holy [ __ ] where's our dad you wizard yes because i am a wizard and my dad yes i gave birth to you and i'm a wizard so i'm your wizard dad enough backstory you guys need to wake up we were supposed to go to the state fair last week last week that was last week you forgot shut up youngling come back come back come back to bed no i'm not sleeping with you dad dad you need to go to sleep dad it's 3 a.m there is no state fair magic's not really my cocaine where's my drugstore because you sounded like a clown you were like honking your horn or something oh yeah your performance was magical man and i would love to have you on wow i see a very very funny role in your future if you pick my team for time you get to choose between both of them it's that easy it's that easy lenny face hello hey are you ready for some funny improv moments let us know what that scene is yeah it's a tv ad how can we help out with this one of you can be the person watching tv tell you what i'll watch tv oh that was a long day of working time to relax and watch some tv have you ever wanted a but a banana you can use as a phone banana phone a phone you can only talk okay [Laughter] you can only eat a i wonder how much this this product is it's two dollars two dollars hold on that's just an expensive banana no no you can do anything i'm changing the channel today we're gonna talk about how much quaggity i love this show no no i thought i was gonna miss this show we're getting sure this is really season 11 they made a little seasons this is true we got paid by one above this isn't true this is actually really fair brothers lenny face i want you on my team man you want to be on my team sure yeah sure i decided to take a wild card man i decided i wanted a wild card hey cherry how are you doing what's going on i'm doing good okay it's time for me to impress you all right one of you is working at the local olive garden and i enter and i'm about to rob the store i feel like fly you should take this really nice for you to submit me for that here's your here's your bread stick here's your uniform get in there right here we go hi welcome to olive garden can i get you two seated you can't get me a seat but you know what you can get me oh my god the cash register's in the back buddy i just work reception i don't know what you want from me get me over there right now okay let's walk you gotta conceal the weapon though so everybody everybody doesn't get scared hey waiter can we get some more can we get some more bread sticks can we get some more bread sticks over here don't be going away don't be going i've been waiting for a while now i need my oh i robbed the wrong olive garden that's right oh everyone get on the ground oh my goodness please get on the ground oh my god i got a real gun your name what's your name [Applause] [Music] you're saved wants you and your team okay let me in let me in zebra how are you doing good how are you guys we're doing good how are you ready we're ready to hear what you've got all right quackity you're gonna be a little part of it so you're gonna be like setting up your phone on siri okay okay are you running are you ready for this hello i am siri your new virtual assistant please start by inputting your name janitor did you say swag boss [ __ ] destroyer no no no no no perfect i'm getting cookie with today i want to order pizza from my local pizzeria i'm sorry did you say annihilate thank you is there anything else i can help you with i'm sorry did you say pornhub dot com no would you like to stream on your apple tv no my whole family is there they're watching christmas movies streaming on apple tv no no you like pump you'll love hollywood don't listen to him don't listen to him oh i would love to but i have to go with my boy quaggity here he's this great britain guy added me multiple times during that show and said please take me i want to be on your team do you want to take him you want to take him yeah i'll take him bring him back up bring him back up man you on my team i put my trust in you i look away for one second i want to be on this guy's team i feel like all the other teams might lose just because of schwa's powers is like a spawn from hell he's right he's spawned from hell right deal with the devil then that's what i'll take him okay slime nothing against you hey guys how are you doing how are you doing man i'm doing great we are on a plane you're the flight attendant the plane is going down and you're trying to calm us down [Music] all right ladies and gentlemen the snakes have been holding on for quite a while now but would you like peanuts but what don't worry about it we got the team you have a team no we got a squad you know emergency snakes how much does this happen uh do you want those peanuts oh my god the whole wing just came off uh no no let me just close that window real quick thousands of them no sir sir okay sorry let me just punch all the peanuts i'm uh do you want the peanuts any other lime peanuts [Music] it's not blue it's snakes where is this where is this plane headed snake island what is the island made of snakes you bought the ticket bro put the seat down and and have one of these peanuts and put a peanut in your mouth [Music] [Laughter] yes but you have to choose who you are let's go after hours upon hours of research we stumbled upon many more interesting characters such as a tax evader okay here comes some taxes what are you gonna do you know what i'm gonna invade them i'll go left right and center you know what i'm gonna slice it down the middle where are you going a rude paypal employee all right sir i would like to help you but you're gonna go and take all your [ __ ] in the bag okay get them out of here okay i'm not here to help you a man on the phone hello can you hear me are you there hey hello what oh god oh that's my phone one sec i gotta go get that what the [ __ ] is going on a sad child you winning son you know you asked me if i'm winning dad but to be honest i don't even see my current reality as even resembling winning days of blurred behind you'd think with all this free time i do something cool right wrong i don't care boy pick up a goddamn football a potion seller let me let me ask you something is the invisibility one does it also happen to have a side effect invincibility one that makes you fly this makes no sense a dad with a redditer's son just come in and check to dead in with you that you haven't been posting cringe on reddit correct this first dude it's like yours is that fursuit yours no no no no no no a scary manager suggesting a nude concert to the boy bands he manages exactly fully nude is full holy oh my god you're right you don't make a compelling point i'm not convinced the way you're speaking is such a hustling tone it's just okay let me let me talk louder it's just like you guys want to be popular and have a lot of money this is actually worse this is actually scarier and after this our teams were finally formed and now we have to come up with our skit i was thinking something like the walmart mafia right [Music] [Music] let's put it on ice listen listen up what they're saying is i got the i got the people that could do improv you guys picked up the scraps so let's see where it all [ __ ] lands all right ah finally at walmart why the hell are the four doors hello welcome to mafioso walmart please enter the door which door i'm sorry wrong door i asked which store i'm sorry wrong door okay okay this one wrong [ __ ] door you stupid imbecile oh okay i see how it is how about this one thank you valued walmart customer all right there we go thank you thank you hi how are you doing you're doing good i'm glad you're doing it i'm doing good thank you okay buddy you're a little too close there please back off all right we have a sale on apple's day would you like to check it out apples are pretty good i'm here to apply for a job i've already applied for online i'm just here for the interview can you take me to the manager oh the interview yeah sure the manager's right this way just follow me okay okay anyways here's the here's the manager okay thank you what was this smell like i smell a rat hey paper boi go check out who that is hey [ __ ] the [ __ ] you want your [ __ ] customer i ain't no customer i'm just here to apply for a job i've already applied online okay slow what do you want my friend what do you want do you want [ __ ] cocaine [Music] boi okay follow me my friend it's over here here's the bathroom you pee on the mouth right here because this [ __ ] is a treater i get it i get it can i get some privacy please can you can you leave smells bad okay thank you thank you listen what's wrong they're they're holding me i don't know why i'm just i'm i just work here here's a teddy bear what do you think i am a teddy bear look listen i'm under cop i'm trying to get i'm trying to bust this whole place wide open hey wait a minute this isn't even a teddy bear i know i don't know why did you hear me oh my god look what the door wasn't even a gun and you handed me a flashlight what am i gonna do with this i'm sorry we're currently closing no you're not hey no i oh christ someone called 9-1-1 oh oh god oh oh take him out by the dumpster crew made his body no no no no it was an accident it was all a prank you swear what's going on here i'm taking a poop what's going on what the [ __ ] yeah i pay you for doing [ __ ] oh get into the [ __ ] dogs what's going on here i am calm down my friend calm down we're gonna [ __ ] fix this boss what the [ __ ] is going on i'm going taking a [ __ ] poop and that's going on what the [ __ ] thank you so much thank you thank you all right let's go all right next team who's going next hello sir welcome to our store this is my store for cacti would you like to purchase some well if i were to touch the cactus don't touch the goddamn cactus would it kill me yes you will [ __ ] die what type of cactuses do you guys have we have all the cacti let my unpaid assistant do it for me because i'm too lazy i'm his unpaid assistant i will be here to tour you around the store oh wow that's a real nice one right at the start the cactus um if i sit on it will it hurt me sir for legal reasons i can't say anything whether it will hurt you or not i [ __ ] got it someone picked the pricks out of my ass sir if you would i need to tour you around the store get him around as quick as you can get him to buy something and get him out of here shut up i am the manager here is there a problem here get out my store was anybody gotten a call to [ __ ] er well [Applause] let's go we're breaking into this bank i see a guard oh i'm just a big janitor plenty face i need to remember what do we do when you see a big gang guard what was the plan uh i think i see my dad no no we take it and we use it to navigate the bank that's just shoot it in the face okay i'm hearing the alarm boys i think we need to take them out yes my dad never came back with the milk i'm talking about your dad just don't shoot okay i'll do what you want i'll tell you how to get those back i accidentally shut down that door i got the keys man open all right so okay guys first the first level of the bank where one of the guards are at who are you you're not getting through here you want to get through that further back can i take my dad with me i'm caring they're shooting at me my dad got shot 20 times all right and now we use your dad to ram through the first door it's open okay now we are on the second level so you made it this far huh you know this layer of defense has been crafted by mankind for the sake of defense for thousands of years bring down the big wall oh [ __ ] that's a big wall it's not gonna have my dad with me we'll just climb over it we can just run yeah let's climb up go on the wall that easily it's a tall wall oh my drug sniffing chimp can climb can we use him yet yes you can use them so you made it to the third level uh do you want some cough jobs do you seem like you're having ah yeah can you can you throw him over here quick welcome to the third level i see you're here to get the treasure inside the vault yes the thing in the vault is the only thing that will stop the destruction of jebediah's [ __ ] we videos i am here to kill you with my big gay chimp to counteract your stupid [ __ ] drug sniffing monkey all right we've completed our heist chimpy i don't care i lost my dad we got to get out of here now we can use my dad boys you you said viewers are gonna get to decide who won right that's right we're gonna have a poll in the end and a thousand dollars is gonna be split between the team that the poll votes for so if there's like 10 people oh i didn't even know that yeah oh yeah wait can we do one last scene together oh my god that's a great idea it'll be great everyone at once you can come up with the scene we're all explorers in the jungle we get attacked by chimpanzees everyone goes [Music] you

Channel: Quackity

Views: 2,559,618

Rating: 4.9771104 out of 5

Keywords: discord, funny discord, funny discord server, discord roleplaying, discord servers, discord's got talent, american's got talent, britian's got talent, quackity, quackity discord, quackityhq discord, quackityhq, discords got talent, discords got talent quackity, KSI, DGT, jschlatt, slimecicle

Id: aSnDc8XLvnE

Length: 28min 34sec (1714 seconds)

Published: Sat Jul 25 2020