DIRTY Things I Did In JAIL...👮 in Bitlife

happy damn and Billy Mayweather wants to be a cop unfortunately she's gonna go to jail but she doesn't know that yet and when she goes to jail I mean it's gonna get nasty stay in there it's gonna get filthy and she doesn't know that yet because she only has 13% smarts and she's just gonna do the best that she can okay let's start her life your mother is taking you to the doctor's office to get vaccinated how will you behave well I am terrified of needles so I'm gonna throw a tantrum ooh my smarts went down from that but I still got vaccinated you broke your parents windshield while you were playing baseball what do you do it wasn't me it wasn't me I mean well okay I'm a good kid but sometimes bad things happen to good people and that poor Bailey this is going to be her life you've been diagnosed with tonsillitis mom please take me to the doctor because I gotta be able to make it to Jim I mean to being a cop hey dr. Terry's mom sounds like she'll fix me up real good I still have tonsillitis Sidney Washington I no longer okay so Terry's mom is not really good at caring tonsillitis I'll tell you that much it's time to go to your first school dance you're attracted to a boy named Daryl Blart what does he look like hi I'm Daryl this is just what I look like it's not a phase anyways you want to go to the dance with me yeah I want to go to the dance with you Daryl come on go with me he rejected me I went to the school dance by myself Daryl I asked out the weirdest guy in my school and he still said no what's up with that your parents want to take you and your big brother on a family vacation to Moscow Oh how will you behave I'm gonna complain but go you know I wanted to spend the weekend at home trying to text Daryl and see if he wants to come over all my parents are gone like I wanted to throw a party but he forced me to go Daryl turning me down is the beginning of the end it's the root of my issues it's why I'm so bad and you know what I can boost my smarts right now if I want to but I'm not pointing because I'm mad and bye - hey it's time to take your driving test where to take una what does this recycled oil circular intersection oh I should have got that wrong actually cuz I'm not very smart I graduated from high school I'm gonna take some time off and you know what I have zero dollars in my bank account and we're gonna quickly look at my parents I'm gonna ask my mom for money she gave me 400 bucks I was not expecting that what about dad asking dad for money he gave me 486 bucks - Wow that means that I can find a date you've met a dude named hairy butt face I'm gonna spoil this date your boyfriend Terry asked you to marry him you've been together for three years I'm accepting his proposal and we are getting married yes we are plan your wedding okay so we're gonna go to Osaka Japan and we're gonna have a golfcourse wedding because that sounds beautiful twenty-two thousand dollars okay so what we have to do is we have to steal a car maybe and sell it then I can have the wedding of my dreams I'm not very smart this is the only way that I feel like I can figure this out Grand Theft Auto we're gonna steal a no no these are nice I guess we'll do the Acura steal it you tried to steal the Acura but a plus-size model saw you and called the cops before you get it started you've been charged with grand theft auto and are facing three years in prison I don't have the money for okay I'm gonna go to a public defender and hopefully I get off I've been convicted of grand theft auto and sentenced to three years in prison I didn't even get to go to cop school stupid plus-size model ruining my day oh you've received some mail from your mother oh my mom is so nice to me she sent me paper she sent me paper she could have sent me Twix bars coffee crisp bars any kind of chocolate she could have sent me a sandwich she could have sent me apples she could have sent me a spoon so I could dig myself out of here I guess I'll keep the paper what do I do I'm gonna cry and feel sorry for myself I do want to cry in prison you sobbed loudly and yourself I'm supposed to be a cop the other prisoners told you they would really give you something to cry about ah that's not very nice I have an idea I've got 918 dollars to my name I'm gonna bribe somebody offer to bribe the prison guards for protection today you attempted to bribe but it was unsuccessful the guard approached and yelled at me on I mean maybe second time's a charm no the guard you spoke to warned you to stop trying to bribe the prison guards what about a conjugal visit oh maybe my fiance he'll come visit the guards laughed in your face when you requested a visit I'm lonely in here I don't know what to do um what can I do I can ask II prison-yard oh these are other inmates I can talk to Griese Victoria she sounds greasy okay so what do I do I can complement to her I'm gonna mess with her just because like I want what you gotta do is you gotta find the biggest dog in the yard and you gotta knock her out just so everyone knows that I'm somebody to be afraid of you told Greece of Victoria that you aren't going to let her watch her favorite TV show because you will be watching Alaskan bush people what are you gonna do about a girl oh she attacked me with a screwdriver where did she get that why didn't my mom send me your screwdriver Oh my health got really low from that I'm gonna have to go to the infirmary ask the guards to take you to the infirmary please please I know that I tried to bribe you twice but please take me the infirmary they said I'm fine the health care in here is just not good at all I'm starting to riot let's go oh no what do I do recruit as many prisoners as you can to riot don't run into the walls the guards or your chain of prisoners okay oh oh I didn't know that oh okay listen I'm gonna try it again try it again I know how to do it now I was unable to start a riot II mean I'm gonna send a letter to my fiancee just to let him know because he couldn't visit me in the first place he wrote back and said he hopes you are staying in shape that is so rude I swear my fianc he makes me feel ugly all the time I guess I'll go to the prison yard and like have a workout buddy zina looks like a good workout buddy I'm a mess with her or no you know what I'm not gonna mess with her I'm gonna battle her yeah I stormed Xena I cracked her foot I backhanded her spine I slapped her cheek and I stamped her head your prison sentence has been extended by seven years for men like I killed someone Oh Oh looks like we got to join a gang since I'm living here there are no gangs operating in choice correctional center a minimum security prison okay Shirley it's been a year since I tried to bribe anyone Terri please come visit me the guards denied my request why oh I need to do some mind and body stuff I'm gonna work out okay yeah because my fianc wants me to stay fit I worked out in the exercise yard maybe I'm jacked now maybe maybe I can like let it all out and cry I'll feel better you broke down and cried in your cell until he ran out of Tears a guard walked by and laughed at you these guards are sold me is because I'm wearing my cop hat in prison I'm escaping we're getting out of here go down and here and here and here oh oh oh oh didn't work no my sadness has been extended by two years you have been transferred to a minimum security prison for the remainder of your sentence that means that I can probably join I kind of like the Switchblade sisterhood or the cash money oh the plastics okay so an elite gang a violent gang of feared gang a wealthy gang or a vicious gang may be a foreigner gang cuz like I'm Asian the illegal Jalen's an intelligent gang the smart sistas I don't think they would let me in the Golden Girls are a senior gay oh my okay so I'm gonna I'm gonna see if I can join the bit is in mafia are you sure you want to attempt to join the fittest mafia prison gang I feel like they might hurt me if they don't let me in but I'm gonna do it anyway you attend all they rejected me okay you know what that's not the end of the world I've always wanted to join the Plastics rejected again this is like trying to join jobs honestly okay I'm gonna join the foreign gang cuz I'm foreign so they'll let me in right rejected another prisoner called you weak sauce what do you do battle her you know why cuz I need respect right now I stormed her I about her fist I got her good she attacked you with a knuckle duster she punched my booty your prison sentence has been extended by one year for assault okay well what I need to do right now is go to the infirmary I need to get fixed please you've been evaluated at the infirmary and given some medicine medicine is so much better than what I was dealing with before and since this is a new place maybe a conjugal visit will work the guards laugh in your face no can i bribe somebody nobody wants my bribes my prison sentence is extended for bribery oh come on I think I need to have a good cry again oh no the other prisoners are making I shouldn't have cried nobody's gonna respect me now nobody respects me at all oh no okay what I can do is I can join the least respected gang there ever was come on let me in even the least respected gang rejected me I don't I don't know to do I'm gonna socialize I'm gonna try to make friends with Widow Widow sounds like scary and she's very respected I'm gonna compliment her I'm scared you told widow she's read she attacked me why no oh prison is brutal okay I'm gonna do prison once more and this time I'm gonna be the baddest girl I'm gonna be the baddest most respected nastiest most awful person I can humanly be so this time I'm going to jail from moita this time I'm going in and I want to be respected okay I want to I'm not respected I want to be feared all right here we go I'm gonna get Erica Kok furred because she stole my man by atomic wedgie you attempted to pull your best friend Erica's underwear over her face she called the police on you 43 years in prison let's go public defender I've been convicted I'm going to jail at Seaside prison all right so I can't even have a conjugal visit right now I'm not gonna cry because if I do I'm not gonna be respected I don't have any respect right now Griese Camille while you're eating a fellow inmate named greasy Camille leans over behind you and whispers in your ear I can't wait to see how slippery it is in the shower what do you do oh you know what I'm gonna do I'm gonna Duke it out with her is that a threat is that a threat I don't care that I got punched in the face my person sentence was extended by one year but you know what I was screwed anyway I got a little respect for that that means I gotta hurt somebody else who wants some whoo i'ma hit goo right in the face boom I attacked goo I smacked her heel I squeezed her toenail ooh that one's got to hurt and I shattered her mouth oh she died oh I've got seven more years in prison where is my respect look at my respect I am doing some dirty dirty things in prison and I'm gonna join the scariest I'm joining the bit as in mafia because this we're not gonna go small we're not hanging out with the Golden Girls we are going in I am now okay I should be freaking elegant so she'd be like yeah cool whatever I have a cold I'm supposed to be this big bad girl I'm not supposed to get sick I'm gonna ask politely oh wait I'm part of the bitten mafia I could just I could just tell people what I want right they treated me for the common cold and I no longer have it well I mean asking nice really got me far what can I do with the game we're not leaving it we are not leaving it your gang the bitten mafia have gone into a massive battle with your rival gang the Golden Girls one inmate died and 33 were injured oh my I have hives oh my goodness is so dirty in here I mean I shouldn't like I shouldn't be cuddling with the bit as in mafia while I sleep because you know a lot of them have hives and worse so since people are scared of me now what if I can bribe one of the guards unsuccessful what can I do what can I do with this clout I'm gonna start a riot with my gang I'm starting a riot with my gang got one come on business in mafia we're going out yo I got four people but it was unsuccessful aren't I part of the baddest gang there ever was yo bit of sin mafia what do we what are we doing out here like what what's the what's the deal alright folds she's in the gang called the smart sisters I'm gonna find a golden girl I'm finding a golden girl and I'm gonna mess her day out Wow everybody's part of a gang wait butters crime was treason what did she do your gang the bidis in mafia have gotten into a whopping fracas what is the fracas with your rival gang the illegal Jillian's oh my goodness this is just so much two inmates died and 50 were injured it is a madhouse in this prison I have malaria now must have been from when I tried to bribe the coop he wouldn't let me and he was like here take this needle and I was like oh good I'll shove it up my bum I bunions okay I really my health is going down the crapper gonna demand to go to the infirmary because they gotta let me in they told me to suck it up do you know who I am I need medical attention now the guards refused to take me to the infirmary they asked me you want your booboo kissed okay you know what I'm getting out of here the business in mafia is not helping me oh right he's trapped kind of oh oh this is not good this is not good this is not good I'm trapped I'm trapped oh oh I'm surrendering oh no no I got two extra years in prison I died Wow jail is so hard I died from malaria jail is tough I wonder if I could live a whole life in jail I wonder what you guys think of jail do you like this prison update I know that it's a little like it's a little crazy like it's a little offensive at times like some of the options were insane I hope you guys enjoyed this video though if you ever want to see me again make sure you hit push notifications and I will see you on the next one bye

Channel: Gloom

Views: 3,523,749

Rating: 4.9122257 out of 5

Keywords: life simulator, bitlife life simulator, bitlife gameplay, comedy, funny, life simulation, simulator, simulation, bitlife, app, iphone app, iphone game, bit life, playing bitlife, challenge, bitlife challenge, life simulator game, bitlife life simulator gameplay, bitlife life simulator tips, bitlife 2019, bitlife challenges, prison update, jail update, life in jail bitlife

Id: n06AzAchPZA

Length: 15min 27sec (927 seconds)

Published: Mon Aug 12 2019