CS: Are you suffering
from wounds from the past in relationships
with your parents? If so, then God
wants to heal you. Stay tuned. My guest is going
to show you how. [Music]>> Now is the time
to go forward and become all that God
has intended for you to become. Today is your day
to change your life and live in victory
and wholeness. This is Your Path to Destiny
with Dr. Candice Smithyman. CS: Welcome to
Your Path to Destiny. I'm your host,
Candice Smithyman, and today we're going
to be talking about how to be healed
from parental wounds, how to have God encounters that will bring about
the healing that you need. All of us have had relationships
with our mothers and fathers or maybe no relationship
at all, which has left a deep wound
on the inside of us. If the relationships were not
healthy and not fulfilling, then it's left us with a lack.
It's left us with a gap. And so today we're going to talk
with licensed psychologist Dr. Barbara Lowe.
She's a friend of mine and she has her own television
show on Facebook and YouTube. She's interviewed
a lot of different people. She's a conference host. But most of all,
she has the heart of a mother. And she knows what it means
to pour in to men and women who have not had a mother who or who have wounds
from that mother relationship. And so as much
as this discussion today is going to be for men
and women in relationships with both parents, we're going to focus
a little bit more on the wounds that come from having lack in
a relationship with the mother. So welcome to the show,
Dr. Barbara. BL: I am so excited to be here. And, you know, sometimes
when I, when I go to places and I preach or I teach, I have to learn
to not look at faces because as I'm going deep,
God called me, like part of my anointing
is to take people deep. And what we end up having
is all these testimonies on the back side
like, "That was life changing." But I often am, like the people
are like this- it's telling because I'm like up there,
a psychologist opening up and I'm going to open up
my heart today and share with you
my own story. And so I'm going
to do that today. CS: Well, tell us about your
relationship with your mother. BL: So, I found out when
I was 15 that my dad
might not be my real dad. And there were some issues
about how I was conceived. I was set up to have a difficult
relationship with my mom. I think when she looked at me, I reminded her of something
from her past, but I didn't know that.
And so all I remember is my mother never being
comfortable in my presence. And I remember her treating
my brother different. And he came later
and he was my dad's child. And she ended up telling
my dad the truth, apparently, because my dad told me when
I lived with them. Anyway, so, she never really felt
comfortable in my presence. I don't remember. "I love you." So, my friends were afraid,
afraid of her because she would
just turn on a dime. She would slap me. But around 12, 13 things
really began to fall apart. My mom left my dad
for another man and they ended up marrying. But they began to drink like
I mean, like a fish in water, like they were just drinking,
drinking, drinking. And the violence
really took off. There was domestic
violence before. There was, there was, it was a
difficult place to live before. But now she was going
into drunken rages and kicking me out in my pajamas
in the middle of the night. And she would try
to lock me in my room. Or I remember one time
she almost beat a chunk out of my arm.
It was really difficult. And I remember just feeling
like, "Why can't you love me?" And my brother did this thing where he kind of went quiet
and withdrew. I am a little bit feistier
than that. And now I'm so glad
that I'm so strong willed. But, you know, I would
sometimes get in the mix. I'm sure I was
a hard child to raise, but that set me up
to being the scapegoat. It's all, it's, we would be fine
if it wasn't for, you know. CS: Yeah. BL: So you can imagine
having these violent events or even your mom passing out. And my brother would have
to sneak to let me in after my mom passed out,
which I had been kicked out. And then we would wake up
the next morning and no one would talk
about anything. It was as if
it didn't happen at all. There was no closure. So it just was this heap of ick
that I was left with on my soul. And there's this felt sense
for a lot of people. It's hard to talk
about their mom because there's
this sense of love. My mom didn't love me.
What does that mean about me? CS: Yes.
Does that mean I'm unlovable? Does that mean
that I can't be loved? Does that mean that God
doesn't even love me? Yes. Yes.
You know, this this dialog between us just reminded me
of a story that on of my past psychology professors mentioned
about one of his clients that actually he had said how she had been
in psychiatric wards and how she said to him
one day in a therapy session, how come no one will love me? And I remember when he told
that testimony to a group
of young psychologists, it broke my heart
because I thought, oh, my gosh, the pain that this
young woman has been through, that she thinks
she's unlovable, you know? And of course,
if you think you're unlovable, that lack is going to
cause you to look for love in all the wrong places, because you don't know
where real love is, you question whether or not
you can be loved and then- but you're still- that
doesn't change our human need. We still have a human need
and a human desire. You know, whether we think
someone desires us or not, it doesn't change the fact
that we have a need to be loved. So how did you handle that need? BL: Well, when we have
mother wounds and that can be- come
from our mother being absent through sickness, through death,
through sometimes- -and then sometimes
mothers can be abusive. Sometimes we have
the critical mother, the the mother
that's controlling. So, how these things wound us
and we do end up developing broken, broken systems
for relationship. Well, what's so hard
about that is, is relationships
are the human habitat. This relationship, but God,
is very clear in His Word that we need to have
lots of this relationship. But when I don't know
how to do relationship, when I may be clingy and I'm
drawn to these avoidant people, people with histories, then it's like
I had one person say, this is called Welcome to Hell,
and it's not literal hell, but it is really painful to have
this kind of relationship that is to pursue-
withdrawal-er. And so you enter
into these patterns where you you're relating
you're seeking out people who are like people
from your past because you're comfortable
with it. CS: You know what I'm feeling
right now in the spirit, I'm feeling that
there's some women that are watching
who are even involved in some of those pursuer
withdrawal type of relationships and that they've stepped in
to sexual immorality or things of that sort that
they don't want to be in. Nobody wants to be
in those types of situations. Yet, we kind of unconsciously
find ourselves there when we're wounded. We begin to step
into those areas. And so right now, I'm really going to just pray
for those those women, because I really feel like that
there's a whole, just a whole group that are
just so hungry in that area, but doing it the wrong way. BL: And to be honest,
I was so promiscuous in those early years
before I became to Christ. When I finally did
come to Christ, I had, I had just
exponential guilt and shame because I knew what I had done
was outside of God, even though I wasn't raised
as a Christian, I just knew
it was wrong and dirty. I knew it. And, you know,
we carry those things with us. And then with that wrong
and dirty does is it actually causes us
to run from God, not run to Him. The system works really bad
from a human nature standpoint because we don't know where
to go to get our needs met. We don't know how to confess
so that we feel clean, we feel pure, we feel holy. And so, you know, I really feel
like we're setting the stage for being able
to position you, okay? And I want you to begin
to start looking to Heaven right now as we're speaking. We're going to come back
in just a few moments so that we can pray for you
because God really wants to see those deep wounds
in your soul be healed. And He wants you
to come to that place of knowing
that He's the answer. You know, Jesus is the answer.
I know Jesus is the answer. Do you know that
Jesus is the answer? And that's
the real question here. Can we open ourselves up? Can we can we can fast
can we position ourselves so that we can receive
the healing that we need
from the lack of love that we've had in specific
in mother relationships and father relationships
and get met those needs through our personal
relationship with the Lord. So, as you're watching
right now, I want you to stay with us because we're going to come back
in just a few moments and we're going to pray
for you. God's going to supernaturally
touch you. [Music] He's going to supernaturally
heal you so stay tuned. [Muisc]
>> Dr. Candice Smithyman is an international
prophetic voice healing minister,
author and pastor who travels the world
sharing how to access the heavenly realms
and live the resurrected life. Her passion is to see people
healed and delivered and come into a knowledge
of who they are in Christ as royal heirs seated with Him
in the heavenly realms. She believes everyone
can access Heaven and walk in the power of God
in her meetings. Your faith will increase and you
will feel the presence of God and see miraculous healings. Dr. Candice loves
to teach and train in the supernatural
and mentor you in the glory, she offers many classes in her
School of the Supernatural where you, too,
can learn to release Heaven, the glory and walk
in the power of God. She's also a mentor, life coach
and founder of Dream Mentors
International, an organization that teaches and
trains biblical life coaches. Check out her Website and subscribe
to our YouTube channel, Instagram and Facebook
for more resources. [Music] CS: I'm so glad
that you stayed with us, because we're going to
really begin to move into supernatural healing
for soul wounds that we have from lack of love
and relationships with our mothers
and our fathers. And we know we're specifically
putting emphasis on the mother-child relationship
in this particular segment. But you can apply this even
if it was a loss to your father having lack of love
in that area as well. I want to share with you
some scriptures to just help position
you here before we actually move in
to healing Romans. Chapter eight, verse one. The Apostle Paul says, "There
is therefore now no condemnation for those who are
in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus, the law of the Spirit
who gives life has set us free
from the law of sin and death." And that is Romans Chapter
eight, verses one and two. Also in Matthew,
chapter twenty two, verses thirty seven
and thirty to thirty nine. We hear Jesus talking about
how the whole law is together in these two things
that love the Lord, your God with all your heart,
soul and all your mind. And this is the first
and greatest commandment. And the second is like it.
Love your neighbor as yourself. Well, we can't love others
unless we love ourselves and we can't love ourself unless
we know that God loves us. And when we have
a gaping wound in our soul, the wound seems
to scream louder and mess our perception
in the area of what we really need
to be healthy and causes us to look
at all the wrong places for this love that we need. So, Dr. Barbara,
let's talk a little bit more about how to overcome
in the area of the wounds. BL: Well, we were talking about
sexuality here a minute ago and in the last segment. And I was hoping
that we could talk about that a little bit further
because it's rare. I don't think
I've ever met a client or even a student if they've,
if I've learned about them who didn't have brokenness
in the area of sexuality, the enemy really
goes after that area. And I really want
to encourage you, y'all, that God created your sexuality
and God wants to heal it. You know, a lot of people
feel like, oh, that area is dirty
or that area is shameful or I don't even want
to deal with that. They assume it's spiritual,
but this pushing back. But it's not God. Actually,
the woman with the, with the ten silver coins
when she lost one coin, what does it say she did?
She turned on the light. She cleaned the house
until she found that coin. And sometimes that coin
that is hidden, that coin that is lost
is, is, is our sexuality. God wants to heal it. And what I'm seeing
in the spirit realm, what the Holy Spirit showed me
as you were talking was that, you know, we're all made
for relationship, we're made for attachment,
we're made for connection. God literally made us that way. Infants die
if they don't have it. And we need those
primary connections, whether it be with our spouse
or with very close friends, etc. And when we are wounded, we and
we didn't get those needs met. It's like we had these open
pieces of Velcro in our soul and we begin to attach
those to people, to the wrong people outside
of the covenant of marriage, where we're not under the safety
of that covenant, we attach and we attach
to unhealthy people. And what literally
what the Holy Spirit showed me. Oh, yeah. What He showed me
is He is taking those Velcro pieces
that you have attached and where you've been ripped, you feel like
you've been ripped. You feel like sometimes
you even lost it. Stick that no one
will stick to you because other people didn't love
you and now no one will stick. And God is sticking Himself to those very places
that feel so raw, that feel so burned out,
that feels so unspeakable. And He Himself is becoming
the stronghold of your life, the key relationship. CS: That's so good,
that's so good, because if He becomes
a key relationship than all other relationships are going to submit
to that key relationship, you're going to be able
to make better decisions about the relationships
that you are involved in. You're not going to be tempted
to go and reach for that wrong thing.
BL: Yes. CS: And of course, the enemy is always
there trying to get us off path. And the more needy
we are in a certain situation, the more he's likely to do that. BL: Yeah.
CS: Pull us in that direction. So now I know you have
some activations that really help people
come to that place of being able to be whole
in this particular area. Can you start at this particular
point to lead us into that? BL: Yes.
So I would like to start out with this Velcro piece
that the Lord showed me, because a lot of times
when people come in for Breakthru Intensives
with me, it's not just psychology,
it's not just ministry. It's actually Spirit-led. And so there's
a prophetic element. And I know that prophetically
the Lord showed me a word of wisdom, the Lord showed me that some of you
have these Velcro places. And so He's coming to you
as He came to the man at the, at the, at the pool. And He's saying,
what do you want? Do you want to be made whole? So, all you've got to do say
yes, you want to be made whole, because right now
the Holy Spirit is going to do
something powerful. Daddy, God, Jesus coming in. He's come to that pool
where you are, where you've been saying
everyone else is dead, that no one will meet my need.
I feel that. I understand. So, I want you to know
I understand where you are. We understand.
Boy, I've have I felt empty, but right now He's going
to pour into you. So, right now I want you to say, God, I give you
every piece of Velcro. I give you every place
of attachment right now in Jesus Name. And I tie them to you
in that scripture that says
whatever you loose on Heaven and from Heaven
will be loosed on earth. Whatever you bind, it actually
means tying and untying. And so right now, right now, the Holy Spirit
just gave this to me. He is tying Himself to you in every place
where you've been abandoned, in every place where you feel
like no one is sticking to you. Right now, He is coming
and merging with you in those places
to make you whole. He's amalgamating Himself
together with you to make you a whole new thing. And when two metals
are amalgamated, they become a new metal. So, we release that in the
mighty Name of Jesus, amen. CS: Amen.
I hope you received that. Yes. You're being amalgamated. You're being welded together
with the Holy Spirit, your spirit and His Spirit. That means you have
a new identity in Christ. We have a new identity and we're brand new
in our spirit, man. Now, the soul needs
to catch up with that. Okay, so what you did was
you bind and you loosed
in the heavenly realms. It's going to manifest in
the earth realms in your life, but it's also going to now
position you to have new eyes so that you can fight forward
for the things that God wants to do in
and through your life, the destiny that He has for you. That's been hindered by the lack
of love or by the soul wounds. You know, I think that's one
of the most frustrating things for me as a councilor, is when I see people
held back by the perceptions that they have of themselves
or of their environment. Yes, because when you know
and understand what Christ has done for you and you wash your soul
in the Word of God and you sit in His presence, and I know you and I've had
a lot of discussions offline about soaking in the Spirit of
the Lord, how important that is,
receiving that holy hug from God that helps to heal
our soul properly. Positioning yourself that way
is also going to cause you to feel the presence of the Lord
and feel His love in such a way that is going to renew and
refresh and renew and refresh. Then we can go forward
and be and do good and new things for the Lord,
that's for sure. So, Dr Barbara,
so, in Romans Chapter eight, the word says
in all these things we're more than conquerors.
And through Him who loved us. So, nothing can separate us.
BL: Yes. Yes. And you've given us
some good activation, some good things to focus on when it comes to making sure
that we stay in that place of nothing
coming in and dividing. And when we come back, we're going to talk more with
Dr. Barbara about anything extra that we need to know
to be healed in our soul. And we're going to pray for you
so that we can kind of seal that deal and you'll walk
away from this program knowing that
you've encountered God. And, you know,
I see women just getting up and just wiping off their knees
and saying, "I'm ready to go. I'm ready. I'm, I have confessed
that I have a need. God has met that need
and I'm ready to move forward." So I want you to stay tuned,
because when we come back, we're going to take care
of the rest of this. So that, you can definitely
say you have met Jesus. You have encountered Him
and the Holy Spirit. Stay tuned. [Music] CS: We'll be right back. [Music] >> Log on today and get Candice Smithyman's
powerful book "Releasing Heaven." CS: There are vats in Heaven
where there is oil, grain and wine.
I teach you about how you can access those vats
for yourself or for a friend or a family member
that's in need. I also teach you about
how to increase your faith for healing and miracles,
how to have the faith of God that sees amazing things
come to pass in your life. >> Through "Releasing Heaven",
you will discover your identity in Jesus and cultivate
a heavenly mindset. CS: Your soul is going to change
and transform and you're going to be
positioned to be one that releases Heaven
into your environment, the heavenly encounters
are for us today and therefore, you simply go
to my website at CandiceSmithyman.com
and click the shop button. It will take you
to the shopping cart and you can purchase
the book there. You will love this book. >> Order your copy today.
You will love this book. [Music] CS: I'm so glad that
you stayed with us. We're talking to
Dr. Barbara Lowe about healing the wounds
from our mothers and how we carry that with us and we walked you
through a lot of process, a lot of activations. And Dr. Barbara
has another activation, faith activation that we want
to do with you right now. So, Dr. Barbara, take us there. BL: Well, I sense that as I was
being with the Lord and with this audience, I sense that many of you feel
like you have people in your life where you're trying
to attach to them. And every time you feel like
you're you almost attached to them or connected with them,
it seems like it shifts. And so you're left with this
felt sense of confusion am I lovable
why can't I connect with anyone? And here's what I want us to do.
I would love for us to take a moment and think about
the last time that happened. Just that, you know,
that feels almost like a could feel like a stab.
It can feel like a deflation. It can feel like for some of us
we get into flight. For some of us,
we can get into fight. For some of us
we can get into freeze. For some of us, we get into
what I call friend, where we're fixing,
fixing, fixing, fixing. But let's get under that. What is the felt sense
that you feel in your body? Because feelings
are information, their data, you know,
and as a psychologist, I like data. You like data.
So we're going to use that data. So how does that feel
in your body? And maybe you and I can do that
at the same time. So, for example,
maybe one time when Tim left without saying goodbye, well, my mom used to drive off
without saying goodbye and sometimes kick me
out of the car and drive off. Right.
So, so let's say I have over I have this sense of abandonment
so I can scroll back. So, you're going to scroll back
on that felt sense that you feel in your body. Don't get out of your mind
about it. Just what you feel in your body.
Going to scroll back and then you you're going to
come to a memory, maybe the most salient memory,
the most germane memory. Now, if we want to keep it
in the manageable zones, if it's too much,
go to a milder memory, okay? Something that you can you know, we don't want you to feel like
you're going to panic here, but. But where you can feel like you
can cope with it right now because we're going to bring
Jesus into this. So we have this memory.
Right. So, I'm remembering
on Montgomery Avenue, Maryland. My mom kicking me
out on the street. So wherever you guys are, I want
you to be with that memory, okay? You know, and then it
could even be like with a parent who died
or any of that. Right. And so we're going to be
with that memory. Now, let's welcome
the part of the Godhead that you feel
most comfortable with. We know He's three and one.
We love all parts. But whatever part you're most comfortable
with the Holy Spirit, the Father, Jesus or all three,
let's just have a party there and let's bring the Father in.
Also, we're going to bring we're going to bring in
a whole crowd of support here. We're going to bring in wrap-
what we call as psychologists, wrap around services. Let's also imagine that part,
that memory, that part of you is your little sister maybe,
or your little brother. And let's bring your
most adult self in that nurturing part of you in who also can be
a part of this repair story. You know, as humans, when we
are hurt, we need repair. What hurts so much
is being alone with that trauma. And so now we're not alone
and Jesus is there, Father is there, Holy Spirit is
there, our adult self is there. And what does that
little part of you, that younger part of you,
that earlier part of you, what does that part need
to hear from them? What is Father saying to you
in that place or Holy Spirit or I like to call them Holy
by His first name. What is Holy Spirit
saying to you? What is Jesus? Oh, I wonder if He's
just taking your hand and, and wiping the tears away
from your face and saying, I will never leave you.
And what He really is real, He really is outside of the
three dimensions we live in, He's, He's in
all those dimensions. He's able to go
back in time with you and give you something
in your felt sense right now, because He really can make you
all the way whole through His wounds.
So, let's bring him back. What's He saying?
What's He doing? And right now, we release
the Holy Spirit of God to work in that place
to bring revelation. Some of y'all are going
to have dreams. Some of you are going to have
visitations, visions right now
about this very memory. God is giving you repair,
repairing it. We release the Holy Spirit,
the angels of God, all of Heaven into that place,
the Kingdom of God to bring healing in Jesus Name.
Amen. CS: Amen, amen. I know where
you're at right now, you're feeling overwhelming
peace. Peace of God is surrounded you. He is loving you
right where you're at. He's connecting with you. You've opened up your heart
to Him to be connected to them. I know He's healing
some of these deep places. You're going to get up from
this time, from this activation, and you're going to feel renewed
and feel fresh. But I can feel the
intense peace of the Lord, that God is- and
you know what? That is so important
for people to feel God's peace, because when you have wounds,
you need some stability. And peace is an element
of stability, an element of knowing
that your loved. Peace flows from that
place of being loved. And so, so just know
from this program, from what Dr. Barbara shared,
that God loves you so much, He loves you so much
that He sent His precious Son, Jesus, to die on the cross,
to be buried, resurrected and ascended to shed His blood
for forgiveness of your sins so that you can be reconciled
to relationship with the Father. You can be reconciled
to a relationship with Him. And He wants to fill you
with this Holy Spirit and He wants you to come to
that place of knowing Him more. Now you're set on a new
and fresh journey where you're able to know
and grow in His presence. And I just I really feel,
Dr. Barbara, that people have been released. I'm going to say, hallelujah,
praise the Lord. I know you have been released. It's time to start rejoicing.
You are in overcomer. Do not let the memories of
the past come back to haunt you. They have been bound
in Jesus Name, but all love has been released
upon them and forgiveness has been released where
there has been any guilt or shame. That its all been
washed away by His wounds. We have been healed. BL: Oooh, so good! CS: And you have been healed
in this program. You know, soul trauma
and soul trauma wounds. Everyone has them. There is not one person,
on the planet- BL: It's true. CS: But, you know, our wounds
also reveal that we need a Savior. We need to be saved. Healed and redeemed and it's
through Jesus Christ that we come to that.
And so, I'm grateful. Dr. Barbara,
thank you so much for joining me today
for the program. And if you want to reach out
to Dr. Barbara, she has an awful
lot of resources. Go to DrBarbaraLowe.com She has a practice in Raleigh,
North Carolina. You can reach out to her there. You can watch her on Facebook,
watch her on YouTube. She's all about mothering,
as you can see, helping bringing people
to that place of wholeness. And we want to hear that you've
been healed in this program. So reach out to her, reach out
to me at CandiceSmithyman.com because we want
to rejoice with you and we want to send you
some resources that are going
to help facilitate your personal walk
with the Lord. Remember, you are
on a Path to Destiny. All you have to do
is take Messiah's hand and He is going to carry you
into this path of destiny where you are going to live
fighting for being that overcomer, being victorious.
[Music] He has great things
in store for you. We'll see you next time.
[Music]
