Depressed and Ready to Die | Mike Rashid

[Music] although y'all gotta give me a minute to absorb this [ __ ] I don't care we monetize so good they'd be worth it on this one [Music] my brain is oozing out my ears right now bow-wow why they have to do that to the baby the baby why they do that to him [Music] disgusting I'm proud of them high five good job guys this is already one of my favorite songs anyway before shun [ __ ] off man I have a deep [ __ ] appreciation for things that I like [ __ ] that I like I like a lot like so [ __ ] much what are some of those things music like [ __ ] like that this movie right here this is our full movies after people don't have a Lee Covenant alien covenant it's the it's the sequel to Prometheus which is I believe of shares the volume oops which I believe is the prequel to the Alien franchise movie it is yeah okay so that's weird it's like in the future from here but it predates the movies from the 70s come on weird paradox yeah but this movie is amazing we were talking about this before we started filming this is my favorite scene of this movie I think this this part right here okay for you I don't know I'm a spoiler [ __ ] you should have seen it already that guy's an Android he's not real artificial intelligence he created him right well he had the money to do it the human is looking for his creator for who created humans right yeah I had to see the first one to understand why so that the robot is like hmm you have you're gonna die one day no I says you're looking for your Creator here I'm staring in mind he says you will die one day and I won't and then the look the guy got jealous or he got angry he got real human and made him walk all the way across the room to pouring some tea the first time he said it the robot was like mmm like logically like why why would I come all the way over there you can just reach in he said bring me the tea you know whatever my father so in this part I don't know if you knew this Shawn but that part is like years before this journey right here it's before both the movies this ample meaty is okay because that guy's an old man I'm Prometheus right and he's dead already here he died in prometheus so he's a young right here so that's really cool like I love that [ __ ] so y'all we wasn't even planning to do a show of park yesterday but um I've been doing the home ask me questions on Instagram and somebody asked me about depression have I ever been depressed and I was like hell yeah you know and I wanted to talk about it this is break down a story so a few years ago you know I talked about in a documentary all of that not in depth though not in depth just touch on the surface so basically I had I used to be [ __ ] all in rich I mean like just a lot of money every week money that just a lot of money every week weekly and depending on how much of a risk I want to take that week or how much of a risk I want to put other people that determine how much money I made fifty a hundred thousand dollars a week whatever right so my life's like this collapsed on itself my conscious I'm a person at that conscious so if I do something wrong you don't stay right with me it's hard for me to so but when you're making fast money you find a mean and one reasons to justify why you're doing it all right what I'm not doing this well nobody's getting hurt I'm tinker these people you know but wrong is wrong we live in a society that has rules if we agree to live in a society we need to follow the rules right like if we have a relationship friendship or whatever we have rules with each other if we expect to stay friends we got to follow those rules you know with any kind of commitment so I was living outside of the rules and it was eating at me you know all the times I would think about my grandparents my grandparents is such decent people I was raised really well and I'm not what the [ __ ] am i doing a lot of times but we'd be out I'll spend 30 grand on a bar just about a bar for the night stupid [ __ ] and I'd be sitting there everybody's [ __ ] having fun and doing all this [ __ ] and I'm just sitting there this is so [ __ ] stupid why am I doing this [ __ ] get drunk get more drunk you know I mean trying to take my mind away from reality of what it really was but I would sometimes the alcohol wouldn't even it wouldn't even take me out the reality is like that was my curse that my consciousness wouldn't allow it like nope you got a you got to look at this for what it is you're in this fake-ass environment with these dim lights crazy lights you know light show this loud music you're inebriated like everybody else so everybody in yourself feel cooler than what you really are you can't really see people what you can you're sitting up on us back of the couch all these [ __ ] people around you I mean you all the people around you you know everybody's like you're important you know it is somewhat of an intoxicating feeling you know whatever club I went to security everybody just like what's up you go you know have people thrown out all that I should I did all that I've used all that I said you know before I had a store and we didn't do [ __ ] there's a store just really full it was a front really but the store was like a meetup spot for the whole crew like before we went out you know to me and no [ __ ] before we went out it would be like give you like 20 30 cars of people you know I mean Caravan like presidential [ __ ] real [ __ ] to go out we go and just whatever whatever you wanted however you wanted you know and how all these people around me I have really bad people around me um people that you know some of my friends got to jail and I was doing what a real [ __ ] dude hold on quote he walked out and putting jewelry around his neck cheese one apartment [ __ ] like that stupid [ __ ] right and these people like I did this for everybody like I just treat everybody well when my case came and I was on house arrest now one of them not one came by now one only one guy and his name is the Beast shoutout to the bee season Casa Grande Arizona he's a tattoo artist now but he came by was a Mexican dude and uh but he was somebody that never wanted anything from me I never gave him money I never bought [ __ ] he just wanted to be down you know them saying with the squat so he's the only one that will come hang out he'll come over they'll make carne asada marinated we cook you know cheers play whatever that's the only one but I'm talking about how to army a dude's right there all benefited for me some way even if it's just having fun every weekend or whatever because that's important to young onfocus not one but one guy one guy stole from me all right this is they were doing this when I was in not or when they thought I was in a position to do anything back because nobody did this when I was strong when I was on the street nobody did nothing weird you know saying and actually one guy did he had to move out the state you know it was like that so nobody everybody just [ __ ] on me I'm like wow I think background like like when I was going through what I went through and everything I'm gonna [ __ ] hit the fan I was like yo like it's crazy so I'm spending money spending time risking my freedom risking my life trying to impress people who don't give a [ __ ] about me and I look listen I'm pure man like I assume if people are [ __ ] with each other they [ __ ] with each other they give a [ __ ] about each other but that's not reality I would never use people but most people will use people you know you know using we're supposed to use each other each other not abuse or not take and not reciprocate you know saying so I experienced a lot of that so long finally [ __ ] hit the fan the darkest days of my life I have so many dreams of me going to prison like I've been to jail before a bunch of times just getting caught on just getting I never got sentence or anything I always slide out you know figure out a way out or just don't say nothing you know didn't got an anomaly I let me go but this time it was bad alright the charge was really really serious the charges was really serious they got an ankle bracelet I mean so is it looking bad so money is getting I paid an attorney but the retainer you know and I didn't understand how that worked I thought I'd pay him and then he do his work Pam and every time I talk to him when he goes down he's like you know get retainers up you need another 25 grand and like huh so that I was still trying to do my thing on the street but it wasn't the same because I was limited and people knew that so I'm getting taken advantage of so I had to make some really risky moves to try to keep paying my attorney and that didn't work out make a long story short I was counted from justice I became a fugitive that was the most terrifying [ __ ] I ever go you know because I'm thinking everybody is a cop or undercover cop or snitch and they all knew me where I was that everywhere I moved so paranoid my biggest fear was like being taken away from my kids you know and not seeing them until they're like adults [ __ ] so all right before I ended up doing what I had to do facing the charges but it took a little little time some years before that happened in the beginning as I'm living in California initially I was homeless um I had places I thought I was able to stay but I don't think the people that said that I can stay I don't think they thought that I would be free that long so I was up here it was like you know and rightfully so because I'm bringing a lot of heat with me and none of my friends was doing legit [ __ ] at the time so or transitioning out of the underworld so I'm like [ __ ] I remember I wasn't I didn't bother me i way bigger problems you know exam so I [ __ ] was in his like a crossroad do this the wrong thing and it's a high probability you getting caught or just try the chances of getting a job one thing that was very consistent in my life even when I was doing the dumb [ __ ] without trained I was always in shape I'm never gonna find some throwback pictures of me I still have those eyes on me you know what I'm saying um so I got a job at a gym as a trainer so going through that they paid nothing alright so that she was rough but I was able to save up enough money to move in with somebody I was looking for roomy so choirs that I was staying at a friend's brothers apartment but only at super late at night he's like you can come like after midnight but you gotta be out before the Sun is up because his apartment he was growing marijuana plants which is stupid this is an apartment not a big complex is a small apartment complex in Long Beach like eight units uncooked marijuana plants have a very distinct smell it's super obvious and this is when marijuana wasn't legal in California to time but it was it was working on it so actually it was legal but it was that wasn't legal you couldn't do that excuse me but people were trying to get ahead of the curve so anyway so I was just shower at the gym you know in the morning kept the haircut nobody knew I was home with nobody knew so fine I saved all my money and got moved in with his cat lady I never forget she's a cat lady found on Craigslist she's looking for me a little tiny room the room was so small I had a couch bed in it the bed I couldn't have the bed open and closed the door the same time I had to fold up the bed close the door or open or whatever that's how small it was but [ __ ] it it felt like a mansion you keep mine I'm coming from having a damn mansion you know the mean so that period that was rough I would like I try to close the the book on my life previous to that completely as a defense mechanism and not to stress me out but it's hard because it was so fresh in my memory and we wanted to check on certain things and long behold why did I do that because I see people talk to one person he said uh people who's talking so bad about me laughing happy you know like suckers out there it was like talkin public yes like he's gone like I'm the man like you're not so that and people that was mild my guys you know really wasn't you know I'm saying I'm scavenging for whatever I left behind or whatever you know this is bad and bro the anger yeah I think I'm I'm afraid that I'm gonna get caught any day and it's a wrap um I have no money I'm just having a lot of money to happen no money um I'm just I'm confused I don't know what's going on and then I'm like prison don't scare me at all being away from my kids scared me and then going to prison and having to defend myself and getting in more trouble I know a lot of people who went in first like jail time end up doing prison time because they were getting fights you know is escalates and you get more and more time there's more charges so that that worried me so I have all of this [ __ ] all of these emotions man and I was just [ __ ] in a dark dark place and lo and behold my kid's mom she was like you want you want Elijah I'm saying lights out there watching I'm like yeah I'm like how why I don't have money on like a car he started kindergarten with you and gotta yada yada yada like yeah I always have been the guy to take on everything and figure it out you know saying I did that with my kid and why she did that she's a very [ __ ] and logical person and she got her [ __ ] together I have no idea what she's sent them because that doesn't make sense for her but I'm so glad that she did because he showed me you know we started kindergarten is akin I got a school right up the street welcome down here to school the whole nine is that Long Beach yeah yeah Long Beach he held my hand like he you know and when you go in out stay at the gate and just stare out on the whole time and talking and seeing no more and but he is happy to see me when he's out of school hold on bro I never until that day I never experienced love like that you know and uh he basically the way the way that my own my son showed me love it told me that I could love myself that unconditional love it's only I could if this guy this guy's perfectly the pure soul if this guy can love me like this then I could love myself to God I love myself I was reckless I was down to cause violence and and hurt people and a way that would put me away for a long time I didn't care you know I was a risk taker you know but when I oh I can't explain it did it did something to me it remind me of that movie with Denzel Washington when it was him in the Sun and he lost his job and he's walking trying to sell those machines you know not talking about it was just like that rule so he put me on an upward trajectory man and if some with him do this do this special when he was born his eyes like is wide open and just aware you know actually all my kids was like that you know I the entire and but he's a boy and who's this his eyes that day when he was born I was like I don't know what it is but it's something here with this guy you know but he saved my life his mother saved my life by sending him to me I'll forever be thankful for that you know but that pulled me out of depression are you sir like on the weekends Saturday Long Beach downtown Long Beach is really though was as good as always people I was very social I wanted no parts of it I would lay in my room close the door and try to sleep all day I try to sleep to get to Sunday sleep to get some money and go back to work you know Sam I try to sleep time away you know it's kind of like how it is in jail you try to sleep your time away and [ __ ] but I was in jail outside of jail and he made me want to live bro and I and that's what happened I started living I started doing good things and being involved in other people's lives training people but it was deeper than that like my bond with my clients was heavy I used to be like why do you keep coming back you're in shape now you know what to do they kept coming and we were tall we all kind of said you know how it is you deal with people - when I level and that just grew and I grew and I grew you know to where we are now but I did have to go to jail I had to deal with face my charges and luckily you know the court was like you're not a criminal you know that means so um I do feel I have a second lease on life you know was it just a switch that was flipped at that moment or was it somewhat of a process that took a little bit of time was it instant it was a process from before [ __ ] hit the fan like even when I was out on the streets doing my thing but it wasn't that drastic but it was a calm it was a process in terms of um me knowing how long this is what I'm doing and how I'm living because I'd know better when you know better is worse right they say ignorance is bliss that such as true statement because I wasn't ignorant the consequences I want the ignorance of me knowing that I know better and I can do other things you know I wasn't ignorant to the fact that I'm putting my my woman at danger you know so um but and before that I went through some deep [ __ ] they're not really gonna talk about on here right now I'm not ready to talk about that [ __ ] but and that [ __ ] was working on me but you know when you're when your default is to as violence is to react is to be a lion that [ __ ] overpowers sometimes the good [ __ ] that's building because the default is easier to do it's a easier emotional it's in alignment with your emotions right which is not good so it was difficult I know it sounds stupid but it was very difficult for me to not go and park in front of people's houses and wait for them to come home and do [ __ ] to them it was hard for me not to do that it was hard for me not to say [ __ ] it [ __ ] it have anyone ever made you mad to where you feel like like a thermometer you know has a mercury in it it just shoot up and you just read have you ever felt that I have but I'll say not for a long time a long long time right I've had that a bunch of times and and when you just like lifting weights when you stress your central nervous system enough to hit that heavy [ __ ] you can hit it right it's easier to do is the fight-or-flight you fight but when my [ __ ] was fight in the wrong way it was like pop I always hit it I always got spiked but that's because my lifestyle was always in places and situations and circumstances that caused that [ __ ] to happen and then there's circumstances around me being Who I am in the streets be having a butyl the leader though like one of my one of my big bros he was a street dude so he was like realists and he got out he used to be like why are you doing these things you should not be on the front lines you've got soldiers I like I got to do this so they can they know it's up I'm saying because me having all these people behind me follow me down to do whatever I don't never understood why so I felt like part of me was like let me show them that I'm capable of great violence so they stay in line these guys were some of them were more dangerous than me we're down to do dumber [ __ ] to me all right but I felt like maybe whatever cool they see in me plus the fact that I'm real and I'll do these things gotta keep them in line I don't know what I was thinking bro but what isn't that I think that in principle it sounds like it would work yeah they did work but there's no honor amongst thieves but once you not you not perceived to be as strong as you were the other line is going to try to come in and pounce you know and this is not honorable because it's not lions is not for survival it's people wanting to be a man have all the girls would have people look at them in admiration stupid [ __ ] [ __ ] that don't matter so you know but anywhere but that general principle does work I mean we need my exams yeah for sure show people do do yeah that we're capable of doing all the things that we would ask them to do I mean whether it's clients or employees in the office or people that we work with as partners like hey we're willing to do the dirty work we're willing to do whatever it takes but it's not truly dirty work it's it's fair honest work that creates value for the partner or for whoever we're helping out or working with in this case I guess you could say dirty work in a sense that we technically can have people doing some ass [ __ ] that we do but [ __ ] it you want to do it yeah we can do it we talked we've talked about this not long into details about there's an other company we start and if we go this way so easier in or we have to rebuild everything I'm like fatherless that's what we do let's build it so we that's the [ __ ] that we're on you know and I think it comes is in our roots you know yours am i mine was this [ __ ] kind of but even before that even in the boxing in the heart training because look you know and all the boxes out there you know or fighters now MMA guys your your you're a weirdo you're not on the team there's no football I'm not on the football team you're on a basketball team so I had to be alone training hard as [ __ ] getting hurt all that [ __ ] you know Sam so we deeply rooted and some different [ __ ] which is good you know unfortunately a part of my life it took a turn for bad I'm glad that I didn't succumb to it I'm glad I didn't die I'm glad I didn't go to prison for a long time or any that kind of [ __ ] you know but the things that I went through I did learn immensely from and I have a great appreciation for life and for living and for being good just being good just for the sake of being good do you ultimately think that you still made a choice to not be depressed which was like the original question did you make a choice or or were you almost like left with no option because of how your son's love influenced you was it was it still a choice that you had to make and you're like wow I've got this behind me it's worth doing it or do you feel you didn't even really have a choice to be made it just happen automatically I think that everything is a choice so I think it is a choice it's still a choice you know I think that's important for someone who might be listening to this right now and be like well it was so easy for you but I think you still even feeling that love from him I think even more maybe you felt the responsibility like okay I've got this love and this is makes me feel good and it's amazing no I have to do something for him and I have to get you know I have to change and I have to evolve and put my best foot forward for him mm-hmm to take care of this love cause it was like you still made a choice and people should know that because they might be waiting for to wake up and just like magically feel all the way better right like everything's perfect now I can just smile and so it's on not only was it a choice it was a very difficult choice yeah seeing the love for my son and all that but it was still a very difficult [ __ ] choice you know what I'm saying of only being able to sing his mama honey $200 a month and [ __ ] like that and you know it was a choice well you know and another thing I want to touch on man like I always prided myself on not needing help I've got it you know [ __ ] make it happen and well this one is one particular week I went like two days without eating right and then I [ __ ] you know I wasn't really in touch with my I wasn't in touch with my parents at all I would get messages to my dad to other people you know it's letting all was alright [ __ ] like that but um I [ __ ] broke gonna call my dad I'm like yo I didn't know how to ask him for help I've never really needed help you know and it's just I couldn't even say it bro like I'm like you know trying to be you know like I'm I you know talking and I just start [ __ ] crying ro and my dad was like don't worry will you I was City you and I'm a Western he wasn't me $300 that was the best $300 I appreciate it that's just so much bro for to eat for food I wasn't cool with $30 just to get me through to three days you know Sam he sent me $300 and I should man so [ __ ] much to me you know I'm saying so shout out to my pops he's giving me way more than that you know just teaching me how to be a man but that day that $3 broke that was a heavy day in my life but it was like is not even like let's say somebody went a million dollars in a lottery it wasn't even that it was better than that because I needed it if you win a lottery you don't really need it I don't know I guess depending on your circumstance but I needed that's just so bad I was one of these are the things that made me want to lose my mind that was letting me drift to do bad things listen people that let's say like a troll on internet or people that being negative in comments I can relate to this there there's like that because it like sucks and [ __ ] is not good because when my [ __ ] was [ __ ] I want to kill people that's how bad my life was I didn't hear I want everybody to hurt like I'm hurt I don't give a [ __ ] that you happy with the [ __ ] you have before you know I'm saying [ __ ] you you're [ __ ] perfect life I'm gonna take that from you that's horrible but that's how people feel when they don't have anything most people will never experience that I don't even know the logic but that's the thing you know and people start a fight in the club it's because he doesn't have any attention from girls or something you know that he's missing something you know and you can call these people [ __ ] it's stupid whatever but it's a [ __ ] thing you know I'm saying and it just makes me think twice about judging people all the time people still got to be dealt with accordingly when they violate laws and rules and do certain things but sometimes man people back against the wall and they like well nobody else give a [ __ ] I don't give a [ __ ] you know I'm saying it's hard when you have not you know it's not good so I think if anyone's listening to this and they find themselves in a scenario probably not going to be identical to yours but for whatever combination of reasons they feel depressed or feel really blue or not the person they want to be they should understand that it's not going to change on its own there is probably I feel like the universe will throw you a lot of different life lines and opportunities to make a change but you have to grab on to it make a decision and then move forward and then you're gonna have to make another decision you're gonna consciously have to decide that you want things to change on a daily basis until they do until you finally feel you know the fake it till you make it you're gonna have to act like you're working towards your thing until you really get there that's so true yeah remember the secret the book the secret yeah everybody was you know [ __ ] that [ __ ] you know I'm saying people have this notion going on that people who feel like things is gonna have because they wanted to they will it and they think you know it doesn't what you said it's spot on you have to it's a lot of things you got to do you know it's a lot of things you got to fix in your life it's a lot of places that you got to go that you don't want to go it's dark places that you out of face certain demons of yours you got to you know so um healing and all that [ __ ] won't really happen until you do that and say something to people out there hustling and doing things illegally you know I got a friend in Fitness is doing his thing and I'm [ __ ] proud of him a few years ago couple years ago you can't I'm already doing my thing everything's good he came he stayed at my house for a day and we talked I'm like so what he got going on and he you know he came to me advice whatever I said he told me something that he was doing it's kind of not on the up-and-up I like broke two things one I can't [ __ ] with you because I want to deal with nobody's doing anything illegal I just got a lot of [ __ ] and two nothing good is gonna happen to you for you business-wise in this [ __ ] if you're doing that - it's not room for both I might trust me I was there it's impossible it's one of the other you can't have both you know and he took he took my word you know they say a word to the wise is sufficient he applied it and he he stopped doing other things he was doing a nice [ __ ] killing it and I'm so proud so proud of that's what she's hard to do I told him I said look it's gonna be slow the money ain't gonna be like you think it is or what you used to have been initially but just so what isn't gonna come just gotta keep keep plugging away that's the thing it will come but you got to keep plugging away you got to keep planting seeds the more seeds you plant the more food will harvest is a simple equation it's just gonna take a while and he did it and he's doing great and I'm [ __ ] I love that dude you know he know he is a smart guy right there and I don't say his name but that's my [ __ ] guy so yeah that's it you know I mean we keep it short you know I just wonder today they said it on their own the Q&A thing on my Instagram follow me you know I might be she and that's on her body I've been doing the Q&A s lately and I wanted to answer that question and uh I'm like this is not enough I need to I need to really because it drew a bullet it tucked up my heart a little bit you know so I'm like let me talk about this let me unwrap this and talk about it so that's why I wanted to get on him and kind of talk about it a little bit thoroughly answer their question and people that's going through depression look I get it man that [ __ ] is hard you want to do nothing but sleep or die or hurt yourself or hurt other people none of that [ __ ] is gonna help here's the thing life is not [ __ ] perfect for nobody we all have our [ __ ] obstacles for real but here's the thing something my dad taught me I always repeat this it is so [ __ ] true you grow through these things and you have you build character when you're faced with these things and you deal with them properly because when everything is peachy that's not that's easy you're not getting you can get a pat on the back look we don't get Pat's on the back and we shouldn't get pat on the back for feeding people when we go to these cities that's so easy for us it really is I'm being honest it's easy for us I can easily do a Instagram call action how people meet up I got almost a million people on Instagram something will get fifty a hundred people that's easy go out and feed people that's easy it's when we don't have [ __ ] it's when we have $30 for a name and a friend of ours need gas money and we give them 15 that's character when we don't have excess and we still give and we're still kinda people when we still smile and we don't complain and we don't [ __ ] you know head down and chicken rocks and just you know I'm saying that's when you build character and it's something I've learned I'm not perfect but I think that I've been dealing with my adversity pretty pretty well and I haven't always dealt with it well I think I've been dealing with it well a few years now and is making me so much stronger to where every time I'm dealt I'm faced with something adverse it's not as bad you know I'm saying you have built up such a tolerance and the resistance towards it and I know if I act like this this will be good but if I know if I do this however strong those emotions pulled me to do this I know it's not going to be good I know it and whenever I have done that I'm I just [ __ ] failed the tests you know I'm saying so anyway yet depression is real Israel or we can we can mitigate it by just faking it till we make it like this is gonna be all right this is gonna be and and doing things being positive I look people I was showing you yesterday some of these videos I was out shooting I was wearing pants all the time and boots I had an ankle bracelet on you know I mean it would be easy for me like now I'm gonna do [ __ ] that [ __ ] bro the [ __ ] was I'm not exaggerating as big as a speaker it was a GPS thing it wasn't the regular and it was cuz I cut the one off before and it was metal around rubber around it you cannot cut that off you got to plug it up to a wall six hours a day if you even drive by a greyhound or any kind of Transportation Airport whatever they call you from the thing what are you doing rude is [ __ ] it's [ __ ] depressing but I didn't let none of that bother me you know it bothered me but I hate it and I [ __ ] shot my videos promoter products still train people I kept the positive nobody knew nothing you know saying and all that shows you right there like and what it is like what is he being happy for he might be going to prison you know saying no I'm not going to prison I'm gonna keep playing seeds by the time this [ __ ] come off my leg my [ __ ] [ __ ] my [ __ ] should come the harvest I'm saying and I thought [ __ ] [ __ ] has been you know any final words what do you think that someone should do if their listen to this right now and the like that's me I feel like that well I've been feeling like that what's the first thing that they should do is they're listening this right now and like I don't want to feel this way anymore I want to feel different than this and I know and they believe you they believe us that they can what should they do like right now first of all you got to think about not just yourself think about people around you right they got problems too you just don't know what they're dealing with right or them problems might not be right now but nonetheless everybody like a problem so first of all your friends or loved ones they'll talk to you they want to hear you all they want to help you but keep that [ __ ] to a minimum your situation I know this sounds harsh I had this conversation with somebody I really care about in love a couple weeks ago your situation is not unique just like mine wasn't unique you know I wasn't the only person with my freedom hanging over my head you know what I'm saying but here's the thing I'm gonna be honest with you it's hard to pull yourself out of that [ __ ] it is but you can't pull yourself out of it you got a really [ __ ] one too not and you saying you wanting to and crying is not really one to you doing things look I wanted to be strong so [ __ ] I start putting nickels on the [ __ ] bar every time I went to the gym and then play put the plates on top then I put tins I did everything I could to get strong you know saying it was hard it's hard right you building a squat your bench press the [ __ ] is not it's time do you want to get to that heavy heavy set and I know you gotta keep going yeah I do another one close to that weight that's it is hard it stresses your body oh but you do it you're building character and you become stronger and every sense of the word it's the same thing you can't just you can't say I want a stronger mistress and think is gonna happen by just doing the same [ __ ] you got a that's what I'm saying y'all yeah you can't just want to get out of it you gotta do the the hard [ __ ] is getting out of bed today that's hard and it's okay that that's hard when you're depressed you know you're dealing with [ __ ] in your mind isn't that most people ain't right so some kid somewhat of chemical imbalances right dopamine or whatever the [ __ ] ain't is high you know so you gotta you you still have your mind your brain you know that getting up and you know taking a shower making your bed clean your room try to feel good about you so do something positive call somebody you haven't talked to that that loves you and you love and talk to them somehow you've been avoiding or even correct and sometimes when we depressed we've done something to somebody and they don't you know they like [ __ ] us call them and apologize try to make that [ __ ] right you know um do was difficult that's sowing that you want to be better that you want to climb out of that depression it's a climb climb is more difficult you know so know that I'm not saying it's not hard I know it's hard but if you really want out you do what you have to do to get out and seek help - nothing wrong with that but really try just because you seek your help they can't pull you out they can be there for support or not you nobody can pull you out of your [ __ ] it's like nobody could pull me on it you wanted a smartest people I know there's nothing you can say to make me do the right thing or pull me out of my [ __ ] I gotta want to do it you know so I think what they can do I'm just thinking out loud is that like you said you can't decide to be undepressed but you can make a list of all the things that you every single one of us me you and whoever's listening we can make a list of all the things that we can do to change our situation for the better right now include not to become undepressed what can I do today what's the list of things I can do today and moving forward to make myself feel better and improve my circumstance it might be like you said clearing up some misgivings and personal relationships it might be getting back in the gym it might be getting a new job it might be moving to a new place what are all the things that you can do different because really whatever you've been doing isn't working it's like when people come to us talking about nutrition or training and they're like yeah I have a good plan for my workouts in my diet but you're they're you know obese is like no you don't you do not have a good plan it's not working everything you're doing is not working so let's let go of your inputs of what you think is good because we're gonna have to probably reprogram you and give you something fresh and new to get excited about because if you've been doing this for two three years and your weights the same or you're gaining weight it's not working so we have to let go and often times reasoning is dim you haven't even a plan right they not working right they're not doing what they should be doing right not their plan they have in their head but whatever they're actually doing is not working right and that's the reality of their plan so if you're if you're feeling this way if you're feeling depressed or unhappy or just miserable whatever the term we're going to use is everything you've been doing has led you there you have to recognize that first then you can start analyzing which of these habits we can attack one at a time because eventually if we start doing these things one at a time and taking responsibility for our role in everything that we do will change our circumstances 100% and I say this all I said is all the time it's so real life is what you make it it really is literally is what you make it so so is every day every opportunity and every moment it's what you make it so you could be upset but still have changed it around I mean like this is something that I've worked on you know in my in my personal life with with RP is like if we have an argument and a disagreement I could flip it around any time just it's a decision I could either carry forward negativity because we disagreed about something that was probably trivial or I could just flip it around it I love you it doesn't matter like whatever just happened it doesn't matter really like it's cool and then just give her a kiss and we're gonna it's fixed instantly it but the old me or another version of myself would carry it forward a little bit longer and continue to make us both more unhappy versus just fixing it so we have that that's one of my biggest realizations in the last six months or year is that at any moment we have the power to change how we feel that's real yeah should I go teachers sick mutant as he said a battery died who knows which one but we are body thanks for singing with me my eyebrow alright thanks guys for listening reality

Channel: Mike Rashid

Views: 36,512

Rating: 4.8945384 out of 5

Keywords: mike rashid, mike rashid king, depression, music, tory lanez joyner lucas, lions owls and elephants, podcast, joe rogan, joe rogan experience, jre, mike tyson podcast, hotboxin, mike tyson jimmy kimmel, eddie hearn, matchbook promotions, andy ruiz jr, anthony joshua, deontay wilder, vegan, keto, ambrosia collective, mwendo, drake, mental jewels, nektar, nektar superfoods, love, plant based protein, planta, joe rogan elon musk, joe rogan terrance crawford, boxing, simeon panda, rogan

Id: Nc0ZP5Tz630

Length: 47min 25sec (2845 seconds)

Published: Fri Aug 23 2019