Denise's Decision | Living with her husband who suffers from Frontotemporal dementia

okay I cleaned that up we cleaned up all the leaves well no I cleaned up that I cleaned up that on that one the leaves out in the garage but if but it's still blowing Arlo yeah Randy got diagnosed in February of 2009 with a really rare form of dementia it's called they call it FTD for short it's frontotemporal dementia so part of the brain that it affects is you know the temporal or the side part of the brain and then the frontal part of the brain and we saw a neurologist and we got the diagnosis knew something was going on with him just didn't know what until we finally got this diagnosis and it's just it's a very early rare early onset dementia that was almost five years ago so he just turned 63 but we're pretty sure when we all look back in the family and try to determine when this all started we're thinking probably a good 9 years ago is when we started noticing a difference in his personality he became very angry and nasty and abusive verbally never physically but but very verbally abusive to me [Music] he knows that he should know me I think I'm a familiar person in his life but as far as as being able to know that I'm his wife or have any feelings you know that that a person without this diagnosis would have for their spouse no I don't think he could tell you my name I don't think he could tell you his mom's name our children's names I can't name anybody's names anymore no none yes I do not want it this disease and and having to deal with with placing him eventually it's it's heart-wrenching you you go through tons and tons of guilt over it questioning whether you're doing the right thing so it's a it's a horrible horrible decision that you that you you have to face living with Randy now is like pretty much living with a stranger the the Randi that that I knew and and loved that Randy's not there anymore so it's kind of like I'm taking care of this stranger that I don't even know anymore they lose they lose the ability to show emotion so they really can't connect with people any longer there's no there's no display of affection there's no empathy for people now as its progressed there's no conversation because it's so hard to communicate with him he doesn't really converse with me I lost the man I know as my husband a long time ago and so not only you know have I lost a husband the boys have lost their dad my mother-in-law has lost a son and excuse me and I'm like sorry and our grandkids really they will be known him like he is now so it's a huge loss for the whole family

Channel: Kansas City Star

Views: 921,593

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Id: SA1lcH8zj9I

Length: 5min 0sec (300 seconds)

Published: Fri Dec 13 2013