DEMISEXUAL Problems!

[Music] hey guys give me back another video this time I'm gonna be talking about the struggle the freakin struggle of being a demisexual demisexual okay I know my name is in the title but whatever don't don't worry about that the point is being a demisexual is very hard like dating and the demisexual is hard okay heart because at the end of the day never on the same page as anybody else these dudes trying to date me and they don't understand that I need a friendship first before we do anything else and it just gets confusing he's his mind is on one page mine is on another and it's just like what the Freak is going on so I'm here today to talk about what a demisexual is and then stay a little bit of my struggle on what's going on trying to see if anybody else can relate so I'm gonna give you guys the google definition oh demisexual first and then i'm gonna go ahead and just say what's on my mind pretty much so demisexual according to google as a person who does not experience sexual attraction unless they form a strong keyword strong emotional connection with with someone it's more commonly seen in but by no means confined to romantic relationships okay so for me I gotta say I been demisexual it's cool like it's lit until we run into that person and janna on the same page and you just be like what so like a definition says put this down like the definition says being a demisexual you just you just don't have you just don't have that sexual urge to do anything with the person because like you know I don't see you like that like you're attractive yes I think you're cute you're handsome cool but at the same time I sex what's that like I know I can't have sex with you until I understand you as a person like that's not gonna work for me so like the that you can see what the conflict comes in with the dating scene because I need that friendship that strong emotional connection with that person first before we can even do anything period not even date like I need that strong foundation of a friendship first before we can do anything guys out here they just want to have sex with you off the bat and it's like what's going on so like I give you like a sort of a visual I guess so you you meet a guy and you know he thinks you're cute you think he's cute whatever his mind he's thinking yeah I would like to smash her here she she's Mashable she's miserable but for me you're not some vegetable until I know how you think you're not smashable until I know your goals your ambitions your dreams I I need to know how you think about certain like what are your views on certain things I just need to know all of that before I can even start dating you at this point like I used to try to like date people before I even knew them like part I'm not a super personal level that clearly didn't work out for me because I'm still single but you can't do that because if you flip and just go straight to step 10 you didn't get to step one first like step one for me is being my friend like needs to be my friend need to know me inside 92 know my girls my [ __ ] my dreams my point of view on certain things my feelings about starting toward certain things like I need to feel the same about you I need to know things about you so I feel like for me that's like a security blanket like okay well I know this person inside of now they know me you know now we can sort of point where I'm like okay I'm starting to like you you kind of cool whatever maybe we can start dating and then that's when you get off the friendzone so when I'm friends with somebody I never really planned on and dating them but sometimes like I feel like if I had a guy friend I felt like I would definitely fall into that and we definitely would start dating cuz I know I'm that tight I'm definitely that tight cuz my mom even told me that a long time ago some years back she was like damn you're the type of person that you know you you if you had a male friend you would follow up with that male friend you can't just date a guy off the off the street and just you guys just hit it off right off there like right off the bat you need somebody that you've known for a little while and you you guys you know learned each other and then you guys eventually started like dating and then you eventually fall in love and then everything else comes after because in my mind I'm like okay I can't like I literally have no sexual attraction to people that I'm not friends with first like if I don't know you on deep enough level I can't I can't do it I can't do it I'm sorry this doesn't happen like just like there's like bisexual people that are attracted to both or there's a lesbian person that's only attracted to women and they're and then they're not attracted to men in that sense it's kind of like that a little bit not quite but a little a little bit like you can't help who you're attracted to or what you're attracted to I'm attracted to people's minds like I have to I did fall in love with how you think or what you think or what you feel or whatever before sex happens that's just how I am I can't help there is no sexual attraction involved until I get that so I need that friendship that strong emotional bond that that is like like I said a security blanket for me and so like I say you see when the conflict comes in and it's like the guy is trying to get sex and I'm just trying to learn him as a person and it's just like wrong to simper right we're not able on separate pages at this point we're on like two different books like I don't even know what's going on right now what's the plot what's going on so I'm just trying to figure out how to maneuver in this dating scene with that conflict I need a strong friendship before I can be sexual with anybody oh I guess I don't feel safe enough to tell you my secrets my thoughts my feelings if I can't come to you and tell you like if we have a problem in our friendship and you try to guess like me or made me feel like I'm crazy or overlooked what I'm saying and blowing it off like it's no big deal if I feel like you're not being a good friend to me you're not gonna be a good boyfriend you're not gonna be a good husband you're not gonna be a good father to our children like you it's just not gonna work out like so I need that friendship first it all starts with the foundation everything starts with the foundation the foundation for me is the friendship I need that because if I don't have that nothing goes gonna come from me nothing cuz I don't know like I said like a lot of people go off physical attraction and sexual attraction when I see a person like my brain registers those two things separately like there's sexual attraction and then there's like mental attraction the sexual attraction doesn't happen for me and so I have the mental but a lot of people just go straight for the sexual attraction so like I said completely different books so if you guys can leave a comment down below let me know if you can relate because dating is a demisexual is hard AF like if you can relate please let me know because man make like I just want to be I just want to be a friend first like can you just be my friend please like honestly every guy I meet they don't try to be my friend like to be honest hey this is like hundred percent truth none of the guys I talked to trying to be my friend they they're trying to be like f buddies or they trying to like just have sex like maybe just one time just disappear or something or they just like I guess pretend to be a friend until they try to slip the whole dating thing in later and it's just like okay first of all you didn't give me enough time to and decide if I liked you like I don't know if I like you I don't know if I like you so you didn't give me enough like a chance to figure out if I do like you enough to even do this get to that level that's not fair to me you trying to rush me into something I'm not ready for like that's extremely selfish on your part at this point but people don't see it that way people just see you know they just be like Oh sex is just sex we grown so you know you should just get over it okay I'm grown I am I could be 85 years old I stick well I don't know why you having sex 85 that's nasty hey none of my business but anyway I could be 85 years old and still be like that friendship though what's up with it like I need the friendship first before we can have sex because I don't know you I don't feel safe I'd also saving up telling you nothing so what's the point of having the sex if I don't have that friendship in my mind like I know some people like oh it's just sex whatever just do it and move on I can't it's deeper than that for me I can't like I literally would have zero zero zilch sexual attraction to people or a guy if I don't have a friendship with him first I need that before anything else can follow and a man who don't understand that I need the friendship first is the man that has been eliminated because if you if you're not even trying to get to know me and take it slow and just ease your way in and wait like I mean it's okay if you have the intentions of trying to date me but you still trying to be my friends the same time that's fine too but don't sit up there and be like oh right the belt we gotta go out on a date like we got a date like we gotta make this a no we don't know honey we don't okay we can just be friends and figure each other out first like we can go out hang out I'll pay for my own stuff you pay for your own stuff and we can just go out as friends so that way nobody feel like we wasted our money on time like we could sell have a good time and I think of it as a date like we're just two people that find each other attractive and we're like hanging out and see if we like each other and then eventually it can start turning in my perfect world that's how it would go like I meet a guy with both financial they're attractive but we're not trying to be like on that right now we just tryna like see if you like each other we hanging out just as friends but we still have that like you know I got a little smirk like we like each other but we ain't trying to be on that level yeah we trying to take it slow and be careful with this like I feel like the greatest things taked takes a lot of time so if you're not willing to take your time with me that means you just don't care about me this is how I see it so let me stop rambling hey guys so if you guys will leave a comment down below and let me know if you know anybody like me or if you are like me just let me know see if I can relate to anybody out there because man it is so hard being a demisexual like it's hard job like I said leave me a comment like and subscribe and if you're new here hello

Channel: MissDemi

Views: 10,109

Rating: 4.9835615 out of 5

Keywords: #Demisexual, #Struggle #Stressful

Id: zReHXhtn2zQ

Length: 11min 51sec (711 seconds)

Published: Mon Jun 03 2019