Dear Future Wifey S3, E313: This Kind of Love (Kaelin + Kyrah Edwards)

this is blowing my mind continue well you know bishop jackson has a quote and he says when you experience better you drop lesser so that is not age dependent and as soon as you get some sense and you start to see better around you either you're you're you are doing better or you see it around you you're going to gravitate towards that so that's again like that's why i feel like it's our job to pay it forward not only to our generation but to our kids to we talk a lot about generational curses that are perpetuated and just wreak havoc on people's family lineages yes what about these generational blessings that we can set the tone for yes that we can normalize and that we can replicate for our kids that's what i want to do because that's what my parents did so regardless of what we're seeing what we're around we can we can change and it's as simple as making decisions like that so it's not easy though it's simple but it's not easy and we just trust god because we know that in god there's peace and there's order but outside of him there's chaos so when the world is telling us oh go out you can have sex although that's what my flesh may want to do right i still know that's going to lead to chaos i made vows i broke them hindsight i didn't comprehend the gravity of the exchange of this solemn promise a vow before god and man it's time to unpack these sacred words so that i never take this oath lightly ever again i'm the tarasar whitfield and this is the marriage vows series on the dear future wifey podcast welcome to the dear future wifey podcast i'm your host tara sara whitfield hey listen are you shacking up with us if you are stop shacking up with us hit that subscription button and subscribe so it's the first episode of our marriage vow series where we're going to unpack what these marriage vows truly mean and the brevity of these vows when we say it oftentimes we get married and we recite these things but when we encounter those for better for worse moments uh it really destroys our relationship well uh this couple really really dope individuals my daughter brought them to my attention about a week and a half ago and after uh she expressed her zeal towards these young people i said you know what these young adults definitely have to be on the podcast because they exude and they epitomize exactly what this podcast stands for they're a kingdom couple they're kingdom minded they're purpose driven and uh i know kailyn over there saying oh my god you're pumping us up too much well listen uh they have garnered over two million uh followers and supporters on social media through their various social media platforms they have this dope book that's out and that's going to be the title of the podcast well without further ado welcome to the deer future wifey podcast my new homies kailyn and kyra edwards how y'all doing we're good we're so excited [Applause] yeah we're gonna need to bring it down bring it down just about i'm at about ten what i need to bring it down to i like about a four about a four no i like you know a lot to be desired i like to grow into it um but yeah i just don't want to disappoint nobody why why do you always say that when we talked the other day when i first talked to you about being on the podcast you keep talking about disappointment and wanting to make sure that people stay level-headed with their expectations of you why is that important well it's just really easy to create a platform where you look perfect yeah and unfortunately for us and our culture there's been plenty of men historically that have done that and it comes to find out that they're not really living the life that they're acting like they live in right behind closed doors there's always something going down so i'd rather open up the doors open up the closet and not have anything in there and not you know leave people's expectations too high of me so well that makes sense do you feel the same way kyrah um i i mean i like to give us a little bit of credit like maybe i would say maybe like a six six six or a seven because we like we do put in a lot of work to have the relationship that we have and even to write the book that we wrote so i mean before i mean it's kind of low yeah real low it's like y'all just some ragley scraggly people just saw each other one day and said you want to go out i mean y'all don't got married like at a young age that's that's in a culture where we're not seeing a lot of marriage especially with young people they're more tied to situations rather than relationships in marriage and um we had a little controversy on this today's episode is going to be entitled this kind of love um caitlin what you got to say about that again you know i just i'm not trying to make myself the the idol that people strive for we don't get to define what marriage is we don't get to define what true love is so to write a book called this kind of love with our faces on the title is kind of a very audacious thing right and we may be the first types of guests that have come on the podcast that i mean just kind of looking at it from the outside looking in it's kind of like man they act like they've arrived i mean you look at the book it's like man they've arrived right like let's all get this kind of love um and ironically it's not really not that at all um and i think that we were really in a great position to write a book with this type of title and for our generation because we grew on social media by being this relationship goal of a couple by you know making fun videos and taking cute pictures and really just documenting our growth together as a couple and inviting our audience alongside us to do that and from the outside looking in it looks like man that kind of love is is it but they saw what they saw but they didn't really see what we weren't behind the scenes yeah so what we really wanted to do was deconstruct that that lie that anybody has a perfect relationship yeah that lie that everybody is uh can find they're they're one and they're gonna be perfectly compatible with that person um i don't believe that and i don't want to be promoting that anymore so what better way to do that than write a book bait and switch a little quick slide ahead so you know hopefully the people that get this book can see that every couple that you're following on instagram every every marriage that you see there's always something going on that you're not hearing or that you're not seeing so nobody is perfect god alone is perfect so so uh kyra how long have y'all been on youtube oh man six years six six seven maybe together together probably six years so y'all were doing it individually before y'all linked up he was doing it by himself before i ever did it how were you when you first started my first channel was in seventh grade really yeah so it's actually crazy because that's where we met we met in seventh grade and kyra didn't even know about it because i was so embarrassed to let people know that i was doing youtube because at that time if you had a youtube channel that's embarrassing it was now it's like one of the number one careers that you guys want as they get older so i had a little channel where i was doing uh tech reviews i was recording uh the new brand new ipads and ipod ipad wasn't even out yet the ipod touches yeah it came out and when the app store was first launched i would do app reviews and i was doing work for companies they would send me cases and i would do that but um i had to do it in a way where i was hiding the fact that i was black because the internet and how toxic it is they didn't want to see black people doing that let alone a little black boy so i used to wear these black gloves and put them on my hand as i would do the reviews and one day it was pretty ingenious yeah i mean until one day that glove slipped and they saw it i was black and they flame me um they did yeah i didn't delete the channel though my actually my friends ended up finding out i had a youtube channel told the whole junior high i deleted it and didn't start doing it again until my senior year wow they scared you from youtube yeah i mean i was a little kid and i mean that's a lot to me yeah so and so y'all linked up at what age when y'all started actually doing youtube oh we were eighteen i was i was probably 19 maybe 18 going on 19. yeah and so y'all's claim the fame came from a viral video and which video was it and so before that video we were doing these vlogs and everything started with pure motives right guys we were trying to be altruistic we were documenting our journey trying to show or actually i was documenting my journey trying to show what it was like for a young man that was a senior in high school to graduate high school and then go off to college i was going to go to morehouse or pepperdine which was like my number one school and i wanted to show you know other young black boys what it was like to do that and what they could look forward to if they worked hard and you know got their good grades and got their scholarships and did that thing well none of that went as planned and i ended up at the same state school with kyra and i was already documenting weekly kind of little updates in my life i didn't want to be in the videos yeah and i didn't want to report this year in my life i so we were doing that and you know we're from bakersfield and i don't know a lot of y'all if y'all know about bakersfield but they're really much going nothing else to do so we created things to do so one of those things is driving out in the fields and just looking at mountains and looking at the small come and sit at the base of the valley and the other thing was doing youtube together so we started doing uh just entertaining videos first to entertain ourselves these little couples tags boyfriend taxes learning more about each other and cinnamon challenges things like that but that gradually progressed into doing pranks and the reason we did that was we noticed that on youtube the more sensational the video the more views and especially in our culture we like a little bit of outrage yeah you know yeah yeah so we like that so we did a video um when the iphone 7 attack came out and uh furthermore we got this i went and got this iphone 7 and then i go to sleep in my office at the time which was really an extra bedroom in my parents house i think you were on the couch yeah it was a couch in my office yeah and i'm sleeping she goes in there she gets my brand new iphone and she throws it in the pool well i wrap it up in plastic wrap i wrap it up and then i throw it in the pool which was a little redundant because that was the first generation of the phones that were waterproof yeah so so i jump into the pool after with all my clothes on and um at first that video we uploaded it and it was doing just like our other videos got like one or two thousand views well at this time how many subscribers did y'all have uh about 2 000 3 000 and it got two or three thousand views in that first week which was normal yeah and then a week later it had 15 000 which was not normal and then it got picked up by the algorithm and before we knew it it had a couple million views and we were growing a hundred thousand subscribers every couple days every couple of days yeah about 30 000 a day sometimes and 30 000 a day you know it was tough for us because and we're in college at the time yeah and when that video had first came out you know the semester i just started and by the time you know we get to the end of the semester we had saw that video we saw the success of it so you know you double down now you got a feeling we had already made the decision we were dropping out so we replicated it and it gets to a point to where you know you're making a lot of money and you're making it quick yeah but then you've got to wake up for that seven a.m and they gonna tell you how to make money and i'm like hold on this ain't adding up like i'm going to be making more this month than i would after that exactly it was like overnight our life literally changed and i know at the moment i didn't really recognize like whoa we can actually make a lot of money from this yeah and then we're still going to school and of course i'm like hesitant to drop out my i was like my dad's going to kill me sure we will if i drop out of school but then we just kept going and making these videos and you were still working at your job yes i was still working on my job my manager was so mean to me though and i was like caleb was like quit and i was like okay i'm i am like i'm dropping out i'm not gonna work this job anymore that my manager's so mean to me i'm not having a good time and we're gonna like do this thing how'd you quit did you just not show up no no no no no i can i'm such a rule follower i can never do something like that i did put in my two weeks but i never showed up again after that i just text my manager and was like hey can i give so and so my shifts and she was just like i don't care and i was like i'm out like bye watch me glow up i know never never spoke to her again and now she's seeing you on youtube like you know i used to she used to work for me you know she was just a amazing person you know i know her she's like we're really close friends she said interesting she never had much of a personality when she worked here she said [Applause] it's just a funny story of kind of how things end up yeah yeah i love it i love it so yeah y'all said hey we gotta go ahead and drop out of school you told your parents what they say well it wasn't that easy right so she was she was working at her job and uh we're making this money right but we're dating so whose money really is it oh there it is so we're making all this money and it's going into this account and i remember kyra coming up to me and she's just like hey um it was going into kaylin's account yeah i'm a part of this you don't have to break me all half of that she said hold on i need to get my piece and i said you don't want to be in the videos anyway he'd be like i need my appearance caitlyn has a brother who was already making money from youtube i didn't understand your brother was doing youtube yeah i didn't understand everything that was going on i didn't know how much money was being made and i told you i showed you i didn't know until he told me and i was like wait get inside kayla get a new car he pulled up like where are you i paid cash for it you're like oh so it's funny you say that cause i was like okay we're we're doing this together but you know this is money that should be invested into our future so i told her hey i know we're making this money hold on you thought about a future with her at 19. oh he's always been very honest like that so when we first started i mean we met each other the first day of school seventh grade and you know after that me doing a little bit of work we started dating for a couple weeks and then you know she broke up with me yeah i fell back and reconnected later on reconnected in high school and when we reconnected in high school we reconnected over twitter and we went to different schools so one day i pull up to our house and i said hey and this is what we call our intentions talk now i just let her know my intentions i told her like i feel called to young marriage and i've been a knucklehead before and i don't intend on doing that and you know it's really cool to i mean hear my old self say this but to hear you echo it even now in christian culture it's not really taught to men to value their bodies the way that women do there it is and at the time i don't know if it was arrogance or if the holy spirit offers a little bit of mixture of both yeah but i really saw my body as a temple and i had done some things i wasn't proud of and there had been some things done to me as a kid that i wasn't proud of either and that changed the way that i saw sexuality and it changed the way that i treated women around me so when i actually came to at 16 i was old enough to kind of know a little better a little better but not really that much yeah i let kyra know hey this is my intention i'm gonna save myself from marriage i value myself my body is a temple to the holy spirit and if you're not on that if you don't feel like that i don't want to waste your time we could still be friends we had a great time in engineer high but if this is not you then that's fine and you said that at what age 16 or 16. i was 15. and what would you think when he said this i was i mean i had never heard anybody speak to me that way so i was kind of like this is interesting i never had like a true boyfriend before either so i really didn't know what it should look like i knew that kailyn had had a previous relationship and that it was pretty serious from what i saw from the outside looking in so i was like okay he knows like what he's doing he knows how to like have a relationship and so i was like oh i i mean this sounds good to me and why not like why not try it out and see where it goes but were you on the same program like where you talk like we always hear is that young girls are taught save yourself from marriage were you oh no i didn't grow up in a christian household so i never had like the talk with my parents they never talked to us anything about sex or relationships it just was the only thing they told me was that i wasn't allowed to date until i was 16. so when katelyn came to my life i was about i mean maybe a couple weeks from being 16. so it worked out perfectly but no nobody had ever taught me to have any and that you think about it did you was there any thought to say i want to save myself from marriage or like hey whatever happens happens if i fall in love with them then whoever i fall in love with then i'll share my body with them well when i was in seventh grade is when i was saved and became christian so i already had like those those values so i knew i wanted to save myself for marriage and so when kaelin said that i was like great i don't have to worry about being pressured into doing something i don't really want to do good good good okay so then go ahead walk us through so yeah we started dating intentionally and i really wanted to not only prove to her but i also wanted to prove to myself that i can keep my hands to myself now um and so for the first year or about year-ish we weren't hugging we weren't kissing or holding hands we're no none of that and it was easy because it was a semi-distance relationship because yeah we're in high school and she didn't have a license i have a license and she didn't even have a phone so we were communicating over twitter so it was really easy to kind of stay away from each other and then whenever we got around each other to not be physical in that way it's not gonna be the reverse it's like you get around them you're like that's like i ain't seeing it well since i had never had a boyfriend i had never like that part of my life the door had never been opened so i really didn't know what i didn't know that's true and that helped and then also he never met my dad until about four months into us talking so there wasn't a lot of time where we were always together it wasn't like a typical boyfriend's always at the house yeah i'm always at his house especially in the beginning that makes sense and yeah again it started off all great altruistic and you know them small foxes it was there and uh you know i'm a heterosexual male beautiful female i'm young hormones raging by the time we actually start holding hands and kissing and hugging i was like that lust burning in me so i'm like okay thank god i feel called a young marriage but we got to make this happen yes you know i don't go looking back i don't know if i would have started dating that young anyway and i mean i'm kind of a hypocrite but i don't i don't recommend people start dating until they can actually get married anyway because you are waking up something in yourself that is really hard to control great perspective and that's why i was like okay we got to get married um and it's not even just so much about the sex but it is a lot about the sex too yeah so we tried to get married at 18. and this just so happened to be right after we had graduated and i'm at the school that i didn't want to be at and a lot of stuff happened and wasn't able to to happen but getting that close to marriage at 18 and you know almost being engaged and going to jared and opening up a line of credit for this ring and doing that like i i it changed from that dating relationship you went that far with it yes yes and then i started to feel entitled like shoot i'm about to yeah now i got you this is a person that i was waiting for and we were dating intentionally but we got so close to this engagement and she wasn't looking like she was about to say no like this is my future wife anyway like like almost start doing things that we said we weren't going to do why can't we do those things now exactly um so just i just remember that last year right before we got engaged it was so hard for us it's like i mean just start messing around you start doing things that you're not proud of i like to say i'm a virgin by technicality like i was a virgin by technicality because i mean even before her like yeah i'm sorry but it was just a little nasty yeah um but after it was easy at first and then the more that we fall and lust which with each other it's just easier and easier to try and cross lines um but thank god you know youtube took off and for the reasons that we weren't able to get married at 18 not having no money we actually start had money now or back to the original thing we were speaking yeah i had money so i told kyra all the money we're making from youtube i'm not touching it's not hitting my bank account it's going into um the google adsense and when we first talked about getting married that first time we had sat down and talked about okay what is our goal of money to have in the bank account before we can get y'all thinking about this at 18. this just doesn't make sense it's honestly mostly him like what what is this i don't he has just always been that old soul honestly my dad is um my parents are old enough to be her grandparents okay so i got some wisdom i'm the youngest of six kids so my oldest sibling is i want to be my mom okay um so i live vicariously through my siblings yeah and i've seen dating work and you've seen that i've seen it not working yes i've seen waiting until marriage and i've seen being a virgin until technicality with varying degrees of success work and not work seeing young marriage work and not work my parents were young married their parents are young married her parents are young married so really we stand on the shoulders of the giants that came before us there it is so our testimony is not our testimony without our parents and we we're going to honor them um now they're not perfect either but even in their imperfection we can learn lessons from them and that's i just love that about um being young and just being willing to listen and learn and glean whatever we can from our elders so actually our dad we dedicate our book to our parents uh the dedication literally says to our parents who stan whose shoulders we stand on there is no us without you so powerful when you see us you see them you see all the work that they put in they got married at what age your parents were 19. so around the same thing my dad was 19. or my mom was 19 my dad was probably in his 20s yeah 21 22. and what about you yeah early 20s probably 23 maybe and both of our parents also had kids really young my mom was 16 when she had my oldest sister and i think my mom was 15 or 16 too okay so now i got reference so i realized that that's that's the generation um oftentimes we have generational curses y'all have generational blessings and so y'all have been able to stand like you said on the shoulders of your parents and your forefathers to be able to say this is our norm right why to me it's like what in the world this is just this don't make sense especially the kind of conversations that you're having at 16 i'm going to date you intentionally like you have guys my age that don't even believe in having that conversation be like no we're just going to kick and see what happens you know what i'm saying and you're saying i'm going to date you with intentions this is the program i'm on if you're on this program then you know hey we can have something great together if not then hey it was great see you later let me go find the person that god really has for me at 16 to think like that in the time where they say so your royals go and just have fun date whoever smash whoever and you're this is blowing my mind continue well you know bishop jakes he has a quote and he says when you experience better you drop lesser so that is not age dependent and as soon as you get some sense and you start to see better around you either you're you're you are doing better or you see it around you you're going to gravitate towards that so that's again like that's why i feel like it's our job to pay it forward not only to our generation but to our kids to um we talk a lot about generational curses that are perpetuated and just wreak havoc on people's family lineages yes what about these generational blessings that we can set the tone for yes that we can normalize and that we can replicate for our kids that's what i want to do because that's what my parents did so regardless of um what we're seeing what we're around we can we can change and it's as simple as making decisions like that so it's not easy though it's simple but it's not easy and we just trust god because we know that in god there's peace and there's order but outside of him there's chaos so when the world is telling us oh go out you can have sex do this all that's what my flesh may want to do right i still know that's going to lead to chaos and having been raised around our communities i see what happens when people are doing that yes um it's not even just stds it's it's babies out of wedlock it's um you know it's it's a lot of drama a lot of broken relationships there's trust and hearts and drama and unmet expectations and got to find yourself being healed from stuff that had you not did it you wouldn't need that healing from right so it's like it's it's a lot but i'm glad that you're able to speak on that and not because oftentimes i was the type of person that i had to learn from my mistakes and um my my mom will always say a hard head make us soft behind you know and and that's just how i was like i just got to find out and like oh my daughter the same way and but but some people are the type where they can watch other people and say i just saw them touch that fire it burnt them i'm not gonna stay away from the fire and you experienced a lot of those lessers early on so that by the time you were 15 and 16 it was like okay i know exactly what it looks like to experience the lessers and the broken parts of a relationship so by the time you were like 15 16 you were like okay i know i think i know how to do it and to just see them too i mean i am the youngest of six i got two brothers and three sisters and they're all older than me so i'm kind of getting to see both sides yeah i also got a heck a lot of cousins so many cousins that in our small town you got to be careful who you dating might be and honestly it wasn't even just in the relationship aspect even in the money aspect since all that money was going to his account i look back sometimes and i'm like i could have really been screwed over because i was putting in all this work to this channel waking up early staying up late to make this money that's not going into my bank account he could have totally just not even shared with me how much was being made he could have just been like okay i'm i'm good i got the subscribers now i'm getting the views i don't need you anymore let me just take the money and do what i have to do but he chose to be honest and not take any money out for himself and that's why god is rewarding y'all like integrity goes a long way man i mean integrity goes a long way and being a mighty man of valor to be a man that says you know what when you look at me i want you to know that i i got you that you ain't got to worry about looking over your shoulder and having sleeping with one eye open you know that you know that i got you even when we don't even have a contract between each other where and that's why i say it's beyond just the marriage vow of this license that we have this quote unquote contract to stay married because you that really doesn't mean as much if you don't honor that those words anyway so i can have a contract with you whether it's in marriage or in the business relationship and say hey we're going to do this partnership we're going to be 50 50 partners or whatnot and then we're going to court anyway because i i've been lied to you and i haven't kept all the money and so with our marriage vows i believe that the vows have to take place before the actual ceremony that you operate in integrity you operate in trust you operate in honor uh beforehand and then the ceiling of the deal is the marriage and the and the uh the the license that takes place and that covenant and those vows that are said and so you were at 19 how did you propose to him so it was kind of awkward because we had talked about getting married at 18 and the only reason we didn't was because we didn't have the money yeah and then now we had this money y'all balling out of control now i had this money and um [Music] so it's like hey what are we waiting on um so i brought up to her again just kind of testing the waters um just for for reference we were 18 it was the beginning of the school year so it's around august september november or october 18 your high school year or your college college okay we're just graduating so this is the next year august september video takes off so around december it's like okay we got a couple months of this these checks coming in what's the plan now so i let her know like i'm still i'm still game for this and i just wanted to know like you're still down um so i proposed to her on new year's eve new year's eve yeah um 2016. um my friend had a cabin in frazier park so it's just right outside of bakersfield went up there we had never been in snow in our life but um we get to frazier park and as soon as we get there pop the question to her she says yes as it's snowing so we got to experience it i mean it was your first it was my first snow it's just beautiful uh did you talk to our parents beforehand i did so got her dad's blessing but that was like a few months before i remember the night before we were planning to go up to the cabin we were eating at popeyes and i was like i know you haven't bought the ring yet jared's already closed there's no like we're gonna go to this cabin and i'm thinking you're gonna propose and there's no way you're going to because i know you said that to him i'm thinking that oh okay but i had asked him like did you buy the ring because like we're with each other all the time are you just leading me on like what's going on so i did not really allow myself to get excited until you i honestly feel like some of that too was like you wondering how i was gonna be able to even get the ring yeah because again i wasn't touching any of that money so you're just letting it just add up in your google adsense in the adsense yes so all that money is there so i'm living off savings i had quit my job in march of that year so i was doing like web design and things like that and saving money but i also got some scholarships i had saved but i used all that money and reinvested in our channel and then in order for her to be able to quit and come on full-time i had kind of paid her a few months in advance so she could you know work this joker said i paid her he brought me an envelope of caleb let me say something did you say i paid her a few months in advance well it was going to be i mean it's not technically her money but she i no but i'm just talking about the fact that you you 18 what are you doing like yo yo what what is this that was a calculated risk so i'm like look we already making this you working and exchanging your time for that let me go ahead on my savings account and get this and give you that so that we can make more of that it was so it was so overwhelming at the time i'm working two jobs i'm going to school i'm on the cheer team and we need we're uploading three to four times sometimes a day on youtube come on y'all we're doing that much three to four times a day because when our channel started taking off you start feeding the beast exactly so i was running low on my savings didn't really have no money for the green and we had already gone like ring shopping together the previous year so i knew which ring she actually wanted and i saw what i actually had so i had to clutch and get some credit got to get that 300 limit that i had from the previous year exactly raised that to uh you know a higher number yeah and i went against um my rule and i went to debt for that ring so she thought then as soon as we got married paid it off so yeah yeah so yeah we we got engaged and then um you had you had asked my dad for permission and like talk to my mom but that was for like the first the first round so then the night before is when i'm like is he gonna propose whatever so i go home that night and i'm like oh mom and dad i'm going to the cabin tomorrow i think that they knew exactly what's going to happen i didn't tell them i think kayla's going to propose they were just like oh yeah have fun and then the next day i sent a picture of my ring and i'm like i'm engaged what they say they were happy so that was new year's day when we were engaged and we had an apartment set up where i had an apartment set up that was going to move into my parents house and you know kind of set up the place so that was on january 20th so january 1st january 20th we have our engagement period this is where i almost lost my witness this was the hardest time in our relationship and i kind of experienced it a little bit from that former year yeah before we were engaged but since we had almost got engaged at 18 i'm like okay i'm starting to feel a little entitled sorry i can do a little bit more coming to marriage person anyway it magnified after you sign an apartment lease it's like we're together yep yep yeah cause i'm there and you always over there so i remember my mom calling me um hold on in the state of texas if it's six months it's called common law marriage oh really yeah so if you're if you're if you if you if you are under the same address for six months you are a common law married wow california is probably different because i've always heard like 10 years being common or whatever but um i remember my mom calling me and just being like hey what you doing i'm like nothing kyra there yeah and she said you shacking up like what you said no but almost i would literally i would be there first thing in the morning i probably slept like six hours at my house and then i would go back but i'm like okay she don't sleep here is she there all the time yeah like how long do you need to be in somebody's apartment before it's considered shocking that's what i want to know and then it came to the point where i was like why don't you move out and let me move in why is that not an option yeah i want my own space so i mean live with your mama yeah exactly you know my mom was like prophetic too so you can't get nothing you can't get nothing so i'm on the phone literally on that phone call i mean kyra's right there she's like you shacking up my dad they over here like come on what y'all doing like y'all did not come this far and his brother lives 10 steps away in the same apartment so if my car was out there everybody knew it was okay so you know it was and again it was getting increasingly harder and harder to keep your witness to to keep my witness right so on that phone call i'm just like you know what we're just gonna go ahead and get married how long is this gonna take like can we just do this today so um my dad said yeah my dad's a pastor and you know growing up in the church i've seen people do these shotgun weddings he just get done hooping and hollering right there in front of everybody they married yeah before we get you know before before lunch yeah so he told me yeah you know we could do it at 7 p.m at the church cool you said you go to the courthouse cool we go to the courthouse we get the marriage license i thought we was married after that so if it had not been for the the lord on my side you were there you just had sex then so i got this license oh if i didn't go eat lunch we wouldn't have been going to the apartment that like that hour but um no we did it and you know we get ready and we have this wedding and it's private uh her family my family and we have one friend there because you know it's super quick um and it's awesome no i want you to explain to the viewers how that marriage took place that wedding took place my daughter sent me this video and they've been dealing with so much uh trying to get married last year i have a wedding last year i rented this beautiful venue she said dad that's your type of wedding i just want something really simple and quaint and i was like but i'd never do anything small you're my daughter you're going to have this kind of wedding and so she stood her ground her and her fiance tay and they just like we're going to have the wedding that we want and left me on the hook with the whole bill of the whole venue and so i repurposed it and i uh sponsored three couples to get married and they had this group uh wedding called black love matters and we did that last august actually it's about to be the one year anniversary of it uh and so we did this wedding they because covet they booked uh they was gonna do a destination wedding in cabo and that fell through because of covet and so now they keep trying to find a way to rebook it get their passports and all that type of stuff but she sent me that video and she said dad this is what i want and i looked at that i was like what dog would that be so easy like that is the easiest thing that would save me a whole bunch of money but it was so beautiful and i'm telling you i learned so much from like i'm telling you i'm 43 years old but i'm i'm a pupil of life i will sit down i will learn from uh i adopted two kids so i learn from my foster kids i'll i used to do have this big ministry called home blessed life where i do random acts of kindness with the homeless community and do great things with them i learn from homeless people i sit down and just break bread and learn from them i will learn from a two-year-old and i'll definitely learn from you guys y'all taught something that was very impactful about your wedding ceremony that resonated to me and resonated with me and i want you to explain to the viewer how was your wedding ceremony so that first wedding was private yeah well we had gotten engaged and my mom had kind of done the same thing you've always wanted a big wedding we need to hire a wedding planner like we really need to go all out plus it didn't really help that she knew that we were making money from youtube so she was like y'all got the funds like let's really blow this thing up and like make something big with your money we gonna make it big but she thought that's what i wanted she thought that she i know she had pure intentions and that was my daughter one too yes as i just started switching right now i'm like i don't think that's really what i want like i i can't really imagine myself having something that grand and kind of like caitlyn had said he moved into the apartment now we're going back and forth i want to live in the apartment what are we gonna do we might as well get married and then it was the day before we were like we're getting married tomorrow that's when he calls his dad has that conversation we set everything up i already had a dress some shoes go to the church get married but then my mom was like you need to have a real ceremony like you need to really do the thing and we did that first one private because i mean we're a youtube couple yeah no one knew we were married at this point yeah so we needed to do that to keep our witness yeah so because the most important thing to us was that we just wanted to be married like at that point i was like we've already been dating for so long now we're engaged this is funny for so long and y'all been dating for how long at this point a few years um three years for so long i want y'all to hear that they've been dating for so long they're 19 years old and they've just been dating for so long fresh out of high school that's a long time so long it's a long time relative to your age when you know that you want to marry this person then it becomes long it's yeah it's like what are we waiting for every day that goes by it's literally like what is the purpose of this yes so yeah it felt long to me and it was like let's just get this over with and let's just do the thing we already have the apartment like everything was already laid out our life was already planned so we just needed to make the commitment to each other and when you put it that way it's like well why aren't we making the commitment to each other yeah let's not go what are we waiting for what are we waiting for let's not get cold feet here so then we had the first ceremony that was really private and done very quickly had dinner afterwards just had a restaurant with our families and then my mom was like okay like we need to hire a wedding planner to do a ceremony and get a venue and i was still like mama i i'm already married like i couldn't i truly couldn't care any less only thing i cared about was actually being able to wear a gown and like walk down the aisle and like have my dad walk with me like i thought that would be like special to have photos like a good memory and so i was like okay but we're not hiring a wedding planner she was a photographer at the time so she was really good at like scouting out locations she found this field that was actually like private property of a farmer but it's out in the middle of nowhere it's not it's but there were definitely animals out there right there yeah so we just found this field dropped our location we were like this is where it's going to be at this time i did my own hair and makeup i bought a dress for sale that's good my mom had a close friend who made my bouquet i think she finished it the day of the day of i went to home goods and got some lanterns for a little bit of decoration and really that was that i got married and all that money we saved on a wedding we went on a honeymoon which i'll go we went to hawaii you know what's cool is we wasn't getting married for nobody else but us there it is that's what she told me i mean i hurt my on feet on now this ain't all about you yeah and i said and she was like well dad this is all right this is what we want this is what we want and i said how am i going to tell her what she wants yeah what she want and this is her she can't tell me what to do in my wedding yeah and i but i felt that i had some righteous indignation to be able to be like say listen i brought you into this world because i had imagined in my mind how her wedding would be before even asking her what she wanted her wedding to be and you know and i was like it's gonna be really nice it's gonna be really big i'm gonna get some of my celebrity friends to come and sing we're gonna do this and then our first dance is gonna be choreographed and there's gonna be a drama get some choreographer the choreographer dance it's gonna go viral it's gonna be and asked that girl one bit about what her colors was where did she want to get married and give a good gift right yeah it's like yeah this is the best i get that's all i got i only got one daughter so let's go ahead and do it you know what i'm saying and it made me think like the bigger the wedding does not measure the magnitude of love between that couple you're better there are people that have massive thousands of thousands of dollars on weddings and end up divorced in 72 days you know it's it's crazy uh and one of the things that i always think about is like kim kardashian's wedding that was well what i think it was 72 days whatever it was really really short and to say you spend all that money on a wedding just to i mean you'll still be paying off the debt while you're divorced maybe to prove to people that yeah i think the case could be made for that yeah like yeah it's like you're proving the people saying that hey this is what our way and that's and when i looked at it that's exactly what i wanted it was like i want to show y'all how i love my daughter instead of saying no that has now passed that baton is passed to her fiance and that's for them to go do right you know what i'm saying but uh it's probably easier for us to take my ill because like i mean there was not a big expectation to i mean we were super young yeah one uh you don't have college friends you need to invite all the work friends that is true and at the end of the day like what what is a wedding anyway a wedding is a celebration of this covenant that we're making they're together and really the only witnesses that i cared for being there were the people that were closest to me yeah that's my family her family and the friends that we invited and them seeing them being there to see us take our vows and then to be able to hold us accountable to those vows and to be there to support us when we start feeling a little shaky on those vows that's all i needed i don't need the superficiality of um you know all this money going into something all these people i'm paying for all these plates for people who are going to say the food is nasty anyway exactly i don't need none of that and i don't need the pressure of it i don't need nobody to talk and mess about it after they leave my feet hurt that dj was like there's always something i need none of that but we're not against big weddings yeah i love going to big weddings i wanted ours to be more sacred and what we wanted and that's what i thought was so impactful to me because it made me like i said i'm always gleaned information when i saw that and she sent this to me she sent this to me last year and i was like this is dope she's like can you help me find a field like this and i was like oh no let's go look at some stuff and uh i was like this would be pretty dope and i kept in my mind like well how can i do i don't have to fly a drone i got because now i'm going into production i like i'm gonna do something on it like you know and i was like no i can't work i'm supposed to i'm supposed to be present i'm not supposed to be working the wedding yeah and i was like okay god i'll take that l this is what she wanted yeah my mom was a photographer at the time so she definitely had the you know like i want to photograph the wedding but then she was also like well i want to be in the photographs of the wedding so we ended up hiring somebody and he brought a drone and it was really beautiful yeah yeah so that's what i'm saying it's like and like i said y'all provided reference to me to help me cope with uh my daughter and her fiance want to do their own thing and i was like okay that's cool and me i always you know i pivot so i was like all right i'ma bless some other people and and so that's what we did and it was absolutely amazing um so y'all been married for how many years now four going on five so you're 20 you're 25 i'm 24. you're 24 and you're about to be 24 tomorrow so when this episode airs you will be 24. 24. you'll be 24 years old that's so that's so that's so precious like it's so it's just it's amazing because at this young let me ask you this do you think he's that guy calling to be a pastor ooh um don't be sp don't be uh putting that note outside have you ever had that ever crossed your mind no i mean like we've talked about it because his dad is a pastor eventually he has to retire we've talked about whether it will be us that steps in um but i just know right now that we've tried to make plans to move back and they always fall through and the door is just closed so i know that we're not meant to be right there right now at least i'm trying to scratch that because he don't have to be a pastor of that church do you when you hear him speak because i know what i hear when i hear him speak do you believe and even he's quoting bishop t.d jakes when you hear him speak do you hear a pastor in him have you ever thought like i'm gonna mess around to be a first lady one day or or you just be like oh god whatever happens happens yeah whatever happens happens what do you think have you been called to ministry we'll see we'll see have your daddy ever said god called you to be a pastor and uh no not my dad not my dad but you know i'm the least likely uh in my family to even be doing what i'm doing now so just the divine irony of things i wouldn't be surprised if i ended up you know doing ministry proper in that way but i look out you know what we do right now it's ministry i look at it as a ministry so it's marketplace ministry and what's so dope about what you're doing is that yeah that's that's why it's hard for me to really answer that because i see what we're doing now and for him to be pulled away from that i is just we feel effective in what we're doing one thousand percent and is not under the scrutiny of what a pastor would fall under like you can literally say whatever you want to say and and get by with it because you're not trying to lead people in an office of of ministry you're like hey i'm i'm i'm a layman just like you we're trying to step down from the pedestal and be like i think that you know the the criteria that a pastor would need to fall under is an honorable you know goal to shoot for yeah and that's the one that i would want to hold for myself anyway so that if i ever do get called to that ministry or to that office that i could occupy that space so i want to hold myself accountable to that now even if you know i don't end up okay you know get somewhere and sit down but look he said he want to hold himself accountable to that now that's powerful oh yeah he's like definitely a big picture thinker like when i'm 30 40. when i'm 30 40 50 years old what will i have put out in the world what are our kids are gonna be seeing this content what we said what we did that matters he said stuff like that oh yeah do you think like that i now i do yeah because i'm more i'm more free-spirited i'm more go with the flow naturally i'm not really a five-year planner ten-year planner but he's kind of helped me to be more but you also hate the type to go do the busted challenge or anything on youtube no absolutely not yeah not kyra we was having a hard time trying to dance that promise baby mama dance i could i wouldn't even do it it's like literally like you have to bribe me to dance on the internet so when you decide to get on that program of actually doing uh these videos what at what point did it really resonate with y'all now both y'all can answer this question where y'all really truly saw that y'all were making impact because at first i was doing a little funny video so at that time it's like oh we're just providing entertainment but when did it transition in your heart for your content because my daughter said she saw a shift in your content where it was like oh now we're about to be very purposeful on what this mission is what made that take place i remember for myself we were doing the pranks and we were getting comments like oh kyra's this way kyra's this way and i'm just like i'm not that way i'm not i don't the the fact that they thought that the pranks i was truly doing this thing to my boyfriend made them view me in a light where i was kind of evil like i was just like a really messed up girlfriend y'all [Laughter] yeah so they would literally call me the crazy girlfriend i didn't appreciate that and then i was just thinking i don't think i want to do this anymore and caitlyn was even like oh this is just getting old now at this point and then we started doing more of like light-hearted challenges like he said like the cinnamon challenge and i had seen some people on youtube do story time videos where they just talk about their relationship talk about things that they've been through in life and i didn't know that it was going to be such a huge huge success with our audience but that's when i knew this is actually really resonating with the people that are watching watching us so it's really interesting how god originally had placed it in my heart to document this journey and then we deviate because we want to go make a little bit of money yeah we're going to want to make a fool out of ourselves oh yeah you did say originally that's what it was so people believed what they saw with their own eyes they saw us doing crazy stuff and we didn't tell them that it was fake so they believed that we was crazy you can't blame them right back into that wheel and we start doing these story time videos and inviting people into our journey as we're growing together and i mean another book is called this kind of love but again we've talked about we haven't arrived our story is about growing together instead of being these people that you should just look up to and follow know we're the people like yourself that we're saying hey come lock arm with us come come hold us accountable we'll hold you accountable let's go together yeah so we shared our story and we noticed that people started getting really engaged with it and um those videos they weren't getting as many views but the difference between having views and having an audience is night and day yes so having views yeah you can get that by just going and acting crazy and being a fool yeah having an audience these are people who not only are within our same demographic our same age our same race these are people that share the same psychographic as us they believe the way that we do psychographic i don't i don't have to change i don't have to bite my tongue when i'm speaking about something that may be controversial like no these are our people so why would i want to keep lying to them so god started convicting our heart like first of all y'all lying to your audience second of all this is not why i gave you this audience so now we just try and create videos that's going to be delightful to them so we continue sharing our journey through our vlog content and we're just growing as we go so we make up we make our mistakes and we've had controversy in the past and you know people would love for us to stay there because i don't know why i like to see people ascend and then fall and yeah they like that they like that comeback story but yeah like our audience is one that is very gracious because they're just like us or and as we go so we document on our channel now through vlogs but we also you know share what we're learning and what we've gone through so depending on if you're our age maybe a little bit older or if you're just younger than us now we're paying it forward by sitting down and talking like this and sharing what god's been teaching us i think what's so dope is that your audience and demographic is going to change even to an older audience from the platform that i have because of the fact that y'all are just on point like it's just i know you don't like that you don't like the fact that you you look at this kind of love and you feel um i feel like you should feel humility from it because you're like okay you're looking at me like that but i don't want you shunning away from it because what you've been able like kyra said which i've been able to garner forget the subscribers forget all that stuff but the intentionality about loving each other the protection that you have over her to say listen i'm looking for your best interest people it takes a long time for people to get that a long time it takes a long time for women to actually get a man that actually loves them more than they love themselves it's hard it's hard to get that it's hard to get that god-like love that christ-like love that jesus loved and so i don't want to minimize that and you could have gone through many years of breaking women's heart to arrive at that place uh and then look back and go you know what i've had my come to jesus moment i've had this trail of bodies that i've laid before me and i've messed around with all these different women and now it's time to get my life right i'm 55 years old and it's time to settle down you know what i'm saying when you think about that at 55 all those years of broken promises all those years of broken hearts then you get to this point while you know it's never too late but and it's better late than never but those are the consequences of those actions but for you to get that at 16 and look at this young queen in the eyes and say listen this is this is what this is my intentions with you it baffles me to even have that mindset and so yeah this kind of love this is a type of love that people should aspire to not you right but this kind of love you know to say that a love that is sacrificial a love that is christ-like a love that is purpose-driven a love that is intentional a love that is covered and rooted and grounded in the foundation of jesus christ oh yeah this kind of love and we don't need the congratulations or the glory we can give god the glory there it is it is not our kind of love of course not that kind of love of course not i want to i want to read this when i when i woke up this morning god gave me this and i've never even read a scripture on my podcast yet but uh when i was thinking about this podcast um i was like god what would be the name of this and it wasn't gonna be called um enjoy the breast uh always say made the breasts of your your hold on what's it what's this scripture oh this is may the the wife of you oh may her breast satisfy you always i said i'm not gonna name it that but but this is a scripture that as i began to read it uh i believe that it can be very transformative and i want you to take a listen to this because this is a great uh command to you uh caitlyn and this chapter is called a wise a father's wise advice proverbs 4 my children listen when your father corrects you pay attention and learn good judgment for i am giving you good guidance don't turn away from my instructions for i too was once my father's son tenderly loved as my mother's only child my father taught me take my words to heart follow my commands and you will live get wisdom develop good judgment don't forget my words to turn away from them don't turn your back on wisdom for she will protect you love her and she will guard you getting wisdom is the wisest thing you can do and whatever else you do develop good judgment if you prize wisdom she will make you great embrace her and she will honor you she will place a lovely wreath on your head she will present you with a beautiful crown my child listen to me and i do it and do as i say and you will have a long good life i will teach you wisdom's way ways and lead you in straight paths when you walk you won't be held back when you run you won't stumble take hold of my instructions don't let them go away guard them for they are the key to life um i want to go right here to um did i just read the whole wrong scripture i think i was reading that was gas yeah this was good ain't nothing better than the box yeah that was wow that was that was awesome i wasn't even meaning to read that but i was trying to read proverbs 5. but that's powerful holy spirit holy spirit just had me read the i didn't say the wrong one another one it's another one dj khaled here so proverbs five avoiding moral women so this is what i wish my father would have spoken to me but my father was too busy being wayward himself so but this is what i believe that as men we should teach our sons and i am going to make my young kings uh young kings memorizes armani at 18 and lidarian at uh 13. my son pay attention to my wisdom listen carefully to wise hold on i'll just read that hold long my son's listening to me never stray away from her oh when did he there it is yes it is my son pay attention to my wisdom listen carefully to my wise counsel then you will show discernment and your lips will express what you've learned for the lips of an immoral woman are as sweet as honey and her mouth is smoother than oil but in the end she is as bitter as poison as dangerous as a double-edged sword her feet go down to death her steps lead straight to the grave for she cares nothing about the path to life she staggers down a crooked trail and doesn't realize it so now my sons listen to me never stray from what i'm about to say stay away from her don't go near the door of her house if you do you will lose your honor and will lose to merciless people all you have achieved strange strangers will consume your wealth and someone else will enjoy the fruit of your labor in the end you will groan in anguish when disease consumes your body you will say how i hated discipline if only i had not ignored all the warnings oh why didn't i listen to my teachers why didn't i pay attention to my instructors i have come to the brink of utter ruin and now i must face public disgrace drink water from your own will share your love only with your wife why spill the water of your springs in the streets having sex with just anyone you should reserve it for yourselves never share it with strangers let your wife be a fountain of blessing for you rejoice in the wife of your youth she is a loving deer a graceful doe let her breast satisfy you always may you always be captivated by her love why be captivated my son by an immoral woman or fondle the breast of a promiscuous woman for the lord sees clearly what a man does examining every path he takes an evil man is held captive by his own sins they are ropes that catch and hold him he will die for a lack of self-control he will be lost because of his great foolishness what does that mean to you i'ma ask you car what does that mean to you as a woman hearing that the direct opposite of what you stand for could lead this man down a path of destruction i think the first thing i realized is how much god cherishes his daughters he knows the anguish and the hurt that we go through whenever we're mistreated or we feel unloved and the fact that he is trying to protect us from that by telling men to be honorable be committed love honestly and truly it it really just takes like you have really no words for it because his love just it's all capturing all-consuming king young king caitlin what do you think about when you hear this warning as a father speaking to a son telling him listen stay away from this type of woman yeah um so many of those warnings in proverbs um just having the self-control and unfortunately we have the holy spirit that gives us the fruits of the spirit one of which being self-control and because think about all that that god is doing in your life you said something very intentional i'm trying not to get emotional about it but you said at a very young age you wanted to do what in regards of young marriage what was it i want to actually be young married but um i felt called to it um pursue it call to it or call to it yeah how powerful that is you've been called to young marriage now you take this calling this young boy who had this vision and been called to it at a young age god gives you a massive platform you got 1.83 million uh subscribers on youtube you got every little channel that y'all spring forth from that got a couple of hundred thousand here a couple you got a whole book everywhere and god exalts you and then you got this wonderful woman walking alongside of you now you're at the gas station some girl says oh caitlin oh my god you're so amazing oh kyra's so lucky to have you you're so amazing but let me tell you something now if you if you had me what i would do is this this this you're like no great and then she plants a seed in your mind because you just gotten out of an argument with kyra and you're feeling unloved you feel this void now you have to at the little story this girl plants a seed in you in your mind you're like dang she is kind of fine but nah i see what god but kyra don't appreciate me she don't really appreciate me and you allow that seed to take root and build and build and it may not been that girl that you fall victim to but it's another woman that fall you fall victim to and everything that the scripture talks about that god built now it comes down to ruin because now you're ashamed now you're like uh she we don't see y'all no more on youtube at all like what's going on oh they probably just got busy no y'all's relationship is crumbling and and what you kept saying at the beginning of this was that i didn't want to lose my witness by even having sex with her before god gave me permission and now here it is you have this big ministry and you wouldn't mean for it to be ministry you just was doing your thing out of the abundance of your heart and now this is what uh the fruit of your labor and the devil destroys it when you hear this in this warning how does that impact you what do you think the devil would want nothing more than for that to happen and for so many men it has happened and i don't think that you just wake up one day and end up in somebody's bed right so we talk about the small foxes yes but that that sin it starts small and it grows into something else it starts with the thought and i really do believe that we can take our thoughts in into captivity i really believe that um that basically i don't think that um i just go blank um okay so so for me we've talked about the small foxes and the reason i'm i'm trying to go all the way back because you have to reverse engineer how you end up falling yeah so for me okay i see this women women are beautiful they're always going to be beautiful not going to stop being beautiful since i got married okay how am i looking at this woman oh is it lust okay what am i doing privately that my wife doesn't know about what am i allowed to do that she wouldn't know about so for me before we even started dating before we got married i'm over here trying to deal with lust personally and i like you know the showing and telling but i want to show improve which is why we were so intentional when we were dating which is why i didn't want to be physically touching her when we first started dating which is why i wanted to commit to abstinence while we were dating which is why i didn't want to have sex when we were engaged which is why we waited until marriage i wanted to show and prove not to her not only to her but to also me that i have that self-control because that foundation that we built then is the foundation that we live on now and yes people can change but why not get that muscle stronger while you're single why not get that muscle stronger while you're dating why not get that muscle stronger while you're engaged now we haven't been perfect in that and in our marriage i remember i used to watch porn early on the first couple of years and she didn't know and i wasn't um as addicted to it as i was as a teenager but i watched it a couple times and i didn't think it was worth telling me i didn't want to tell her um which was in essence lying nowhere by you know omission omission so i remember when i finally did tell her boom instant accountability because now she can ask me about it yes which is what i didn't want because we know that scene grows best in the dark yes it does it's so it's so embarrassing it says but that's how we can overcome by getting this community around us that can hold us accountable because if you're really saved then you hate sin we don't love things that god hates so as god is sanctifying me i start to hate that thing i start to hate that lust that isn't for my wife so i want as much accountability that's for myself that'll keep me from doing that so it started with porn and then it built on i used to work at a bank at a credit union and there would be tons of women that come in and out i remember when we were dating i was working there i remember seeing these women and at first lusting after them but then training myself to not see them that way yes some of these women are my sisters in christ some of these people that i want i want them to be converted yes so train that boom train train the porn surround myself with community god's given us a church and a true church is one that uses all of his gifts to to help each other and i love the gift that god has given me in my wife because she's my instant accountability partner yes but when she's not there who else is there i got the men in my corner i got the men that are checking in on me and you can say oh we ask each other the hard questions but these shouldn't be hard these should be no i'm walking in the door i'm volunteering this hey this is what i'm doing with my money this is where it's going this is what i was thinking about this is what i saw this is how i sinned because that is how we overcome yes by the what blood yeah the word the testimony so that's that's what i'm striving for but we also been blessed with technology there ain't no excuse no more why you can't be training yourself to not fall subject to this thing that causes so many men to so easily stumble yes that lust that it's in us i can't stop it yes heterosexual male 1 yeah beautiful women yes but i'm not settling for lesser when i've experienced better and it's not because i say that marriage is better it's not because i say that a committed relationship is better it's because god says it in his word and he is a good father who gave me this good gift and he who finds his wife finds a good thing come on now so it ain't as hard as we try and make kyrie say a preacher said preacher i just don't think it's as hard as we try to make it be it's simply put there and it's hard to do by yourself we have accountability partners you have to help her so let me ask you this kyrah are you are you that safe space are you that safe place that he's able to uh lay his head and be able to say hey listen um i was struggling with porn and you're not saying oh see i just no i definitely wasn't at first you could you could read the book for that that story i was not happy but now um i just have a lot more understanding that one it's not just men yeah area women can too and women do they sure do um and now we just have much more of an open conversation before i was even embarrassed to talk about it for him like i don't i don't want to embarrass you by bringing it up how how twisted is that you're hurting me but i'm embarrassed that's such a weird thing but now we can talk about it so openly oh how are you doing are you struggling in this area no and i talked about earlier how he's always been so trustworthy and so open so for for a woman like what more could i really ask for but for me to be trustworthy if he was struggling in that area i think i know how to handle it much better level headed and i can trust him that he's telling me the truth and i do ask him which is probably i mean at least once every two months probably that's good that's good if it's not you then it's somebody else's friends we just cannot afford as christian men to not be accountable to somebody in that there it is i'm telling you you got this at 24 years old a lot of men don't want to be told we look at it as y'all you ain't gonna tell me what to do i'm a grown man i know you ain't gonna tell me i know what's good for me i know it and it's crazy instead of saying no i need you if the bible says iron sharpens iron so if you play the sport you will you would listen to your your teammate tell you hey man you missed this tackle you did this hey make sure you do this oh yeah i got you got you you know you ain't gonna be like you don't tell me what dude you don't tell me you know you'd be like okay you know what i'm saying because you feel like you're our team and y'all in this together in this thing called life we are in this thing together and as long as we keep providing broken men then we're gonna have broken families and and and it's good uh kyra that you were transparent enough say initially i wasn't but now i had to go back to the foundation which is he's honest with me how many mad about somebody being honest honest but not continually falling into falling into the same sin there it is there needs to be a true repentance a full 180 it cannot be every month or every two months i'm having to have the same conversation yeah i can ask him and he's like no i'm good okay we're good listen i can talk to you all day and i'm about to get really really really really emotional talking to y'all because i see so much like i i i don't want to scare y'all with all the stuff i see through y'all i'll just probably scare the crap out y'all just know this is that y'all some giants in the kingdom like god is going to blow this little these these two million folks you got that that's small that's small and to be honest with you when i looked i was like god they got one point that's a whole lot because i just started last year and so i was like wow this is a lot this how do you ever get that many subscribers but that's small compared to what god is about to do through y'all and i'm telling you and i'm getting teary-eyed because i thank god for caring enough about me to allow me to witness this before y'all blow up and y'all may think you already blew up that ain't that ain't nothing it ain't even nothing it's something that god is about to do to y'all that's gonna blow your mind and my guest that i choose from my podcast i told god you are the executive producer of this thing i want you to intentionally bring people on that i'm supposed to talk to uh this is my personal journey of healing and i want you to bring people on that aid me and my healing and my growth and providing reference to me on what to expect and who to become to be purposeful in my in my next marriage and so when my daughter and i talked she was just like dad you know what and she's just a random conversation i've been doing this for a whole year and a half she ain't she ain't mentioning it before you know and she's like you know he'll be great i said who kayla and cara okay who who is that oh my god i just love them i've watched every one of their videos they're just i just i've been watching them since the very beginning and this this and i said and they said you know what and i said well i'll probably have to fly them in from whatever so it'd be cool she said no they they moved here i said jesus i said come on i said are you sure yes i looked at their videos like i borderline stalk them but i look at their videos and where they live is exactly where we're going to be moving and if anybody follows along with our channel they would know how many times we've tried to move back to california and we just can't do it it just it falls through it doesn't go through we don't feel peace about it and we know we're supposed to be here that's the stuff that just gives me like emotional it just it just messes me up because he was telling me that the other uh he was telling me that when we first talked he was like yeah we tried this whatever we just supposed to be here and i'm going god cares and i take it personally so god has your own little plan with y'all but the personal part for me is that god cared so much about my future wifey that he wanted you guys to stay here so that you could be on my podcast today so that y'all could pour into me and so and so and then the other thing that i wanted which i was telling my daughter is that i wanted her to be her and her fiance to be linked up with a christian couple because i can tell him stuff all the time but they just be like that's just dad he's supposed to say that you know it's gonna be like i'm supposed to say it because i'm her dad and i tell him stuff and i'm supposed to say that it's like okay i want y'all to link up with somebody uh y'all age so that y'all can do this christian walk together and um and when she said that they're actually moving in the next what week uh even a week is it yeah about a week now about a week until the same place y'all live and i was like not a coincidence yeah i just said i just said i i just i and that's what i'm saying god is so intentional with his pursuit of our hearts that he was i had this shirt that i was doing that says god is my publicist is to say that listen like i can't make none of this happen for me you you you and i both know that y'all can't make one person watch all video i don't care what you say you can tell your favorite friend hey watch this video you call them a week later if you watch that video all night and got around to it you'll be like you're my best friend you ain't watching it no you can't make me watch a video and so and especially to have a video go viral there's nothing you can do about it nothing you can do about magic formula no magic formula i just had a video that i shot uh two months ago with essence that went viral uh two weeks ago wow and it was like it got like 1.5 million views on instagram i did not it's god that god had me start working on that video again i was adding some different color grading to it and i was like let me go just do this or whatever since this was the first video of season three then she texted me the next day and said hey the holy spirit just told me can you give me a one minute video i want to do a flashback friday can you give me a one minute video of our of our episode i said yeah did this video he told me to use this exact clip that exact clip was a minute so i took that clip gave it to her and she said well i'm trying to decide whether i should do it today or wait till saturday i said well with algorithms on instagram it's best to go do it on friday since and that was you know the day and she was like all right she dropped it picked up from jasmine brand uh the jasmine brand picked it up went viral erica campbell uh then someone else watched the video uh the black marriage movement saw the video created an extended version of the video that video went viral and so erica campbell picked that video up it got half a million views on her on her page i was just sitting i just i said now i got two videos going viral the same week you know what i'm saying and i was just like you can't make that happen like you can't make none of that god says if i be lifted up i will draw all men so if we really want to know the secret to going viral the secret to building your youtube channel if i be lifted up then i will draw all men that's his promise to us and so it's not by happenstance that god is giving you all the platform that he's given y'all because y'all are lifting him up and there's no better publicist than him wow any closing words before i start crying i'll start preaching to one or the other or something because i'm um say whatever y'all say i'm just honored to be here yeah um i'm a big fan i didn't formally know about the podcast until a couple weeks ago but i've watched half of the episodes so um hey i'm not shacking up with you so what value do you see as a as a young 24 year old when you're watching those episodes well it's really easy for the church nowadays to only focus on married couples or people that are trying to get married yeah but what about the people who are single what about the people who've been divorced like i like the fact that this podcast is talking to literally everyone like literally everybody on that spectrum yeah and it's showing the successes was also showing what led to the failures but it's all focused on growing together it's all focused on you being a guide and bringing everyone alongside with you rather than the person who's arrived and acting like you got it all together yeah so i love how transparent it is i love how unassuming you are um i the the person that i watched is the person that i'm seeing is the person that i spoke to on the phone and that's something that i want to be i want to be unassuming i want to be i want to have that integrity i don't want to be switching up you're the same yeah same on every episode you're the same right now it's just it's just love it i think that you're the perfect person to be doing it first of all i want to thank y'all for uh because like uh y'all y'all a big deal and uh you didn't come with oh well you need to pay me to come on the podcast you need to do all this you're just like hey i want to meet some new people i'm in dallas i want to meet somebody that's a big deal and that's what he was saying he was just like shoot i want to do this and i'm like i want to meet you and you're like i want to meet you and i'm like we're going to meet each other i said but i don't want to meet you enough y'all say want to meet your teen we always going to meet each other and go have fun you know and so that's the cool thing about any closing words kyra i'm just so i i really enjoyed this i mean we're new to the podcasting so i'm always super nervous before but this has just felt so natural and maybe we can do a part two or something yeah yeah yeah let's do it let's talk come on y'all podcast and talk like i said i'm gonna introduce you all to another venue where y'all can um like i said i just i i see what god is doing with y'all i see it i see it when i say that do you what do you think about when i say god is going that what y'all have accomplished thus far i start wondering if you and i'm just like hold up my daughter can tell you bro i i used to call her in the middle of the night hey this is like wise guy snitching on me how does he know that she always said god be snitching on on her but god will show me stuff and i'll see it and it's just like and it's always been like that but like for y'all even when i was on the phone with her for me to be able to reach out to y'all and you respond because she was like have you responded yeah i said no he'll probably do it by tomorrow and then the next day he was like oh stop oh my god i get a chance to meet them and it's just because i know who god is see if i'm dealing with a kingdom-minded person which i already see in y'all then we got the same father i'm gonna blow your mind because okay go ahead i have i know it's still going but i have like uh screen time on my phone as like a defense to not be on social media all the time but also like to not ever be looking at porn so i don't have very much time to even be on instagram on my phone any day i have like an hour on awesome hour a day for all social media right and i don't even just and i watch mostly youtube like 90 is youtube so when i saw your message i had like less than one minute so when your screen time ends you can click it again and you can say one more minute please or something yeah i have one minute to respond to your message and i never even get on that instagram account so it's just like i never even get them and also i also don't respond to like the dms like that unless it's for men because again i'm not women and stuff so it's like man you said you very rarely get dms from me and i know i i only will like respond to men oh yeah but i'm not you know going back and forth i just don't meet with women privately i'm not dming you if we're talking it's in a group message on anything so if you dm him you dm us yeah that's real women she said it to the camera that was impossible she was saying you dm you dm there it is there it is message all right so that's what that's what she said listen man thank you all so much for being on the podcast i know i gained a lot of value from who you all are make sure y'all go get this book it's everywhere barnes and nobles target uh what are some other media outlets there's at some retail stores it should be in walmart i mean obviously you can get it on amazon get it from our website caledonchiro.com but it's so crazy i so enjoy talking to you so much that i forgot we were here for the book if the message that we're sharing um it resonates with you guys if you see yourself in us or if you have kids and you you know kind of want them to glean yeah some wisdom from it then it's definitely a book for you um again it's not a book of a couple that's arrived that's arrived ours is a story of a couple that is growing together and that's what our whole brand is about so if you guys rock with us then we'd love to to host y'all yeah my daughter uh listened to the audio version so they have an audio version too for those that don't like to read then you can listen to the audio it's like six hours six and a half years six and a half hours my daughter sat there listening to it in one uh sitting and uh she's like i'm not getting up i'm listening to this whole thing so yeah y'all can definitely get that and um that'd be great listen i'm proud of y'all i speak blessings over y'all heavenly father i come to you right now i lift up caleb and kyra god i ask that you continue to anoint the work of their hands lord i ask that you anoint their lips that when they speak god that people not only feel you but they hear you god that they know that it's by your anointing by your covering by your protection that these guys are able to stand the foundation that you've already laid out for them through their through their uh parents and their forefathers guy we thank you for that foundation so we honor them we honor their parents right now god and god we ask right now the name of jesus for you to continue to do the great exploits that you've already began the good work god but you're going to keep performing it until the day of jesus christ and do that through them god let them change and revolutionize ministry god marketplace ministry let them be unassuming as uh as caitlyn expressed to be able to minister the people that pastors can't even reach because they're not even in that space to be able to reach those people but god i ask that this this their channel their podcast did that you just bless people god let them hear you when they hear them in jesus name we pray amen oh jesus thank you all so much for being on the dear future wifey podcast again y'all some dope folks and i love y'all so keep doing great work discover uncover recover love with the new dear future collection the journey starts from within let your inner thoughts find freedom on the pages of this richly hewed dear future blue sapphire edition genuine leather journal it features a cross-stitch spine and luxurious cording to bind your deepest insights a great accompaniment is the dear future luxury bamboo fountain pen there's nothing more intentional than the writing process of a fountain pen this is an elegant writing work of art join the thriving community of fountain pen enthusiasts and purchase one today these exclusive items and more are available at deerfuturewifey.com [Music] man when i tell you i really enjoyed talking to kailyn and kyra just just to know that god has done such amazing work with them at this young age i mean they're only 24 years old and just to think what god is going to do through them with them and the years have come is just mind-boggling i mean you can see the anointing of god over their lives you can see the great exploits that god is going to perform through their lives it's so evident so evident dear future wifey i've made a commitment to memorize the 23 verses found in the fifth chapter of proverbs these biblical words will be etched into the fiber of my being and will serve as a foundation of my marital integrity i am a man submitted to overcoming my shortfalls by plugging into the source of my salvation my love our marriage is ministry truthfully speaking everyone's marriage should be ministry his union of adam and eve illustrates his ideal for marriage we will reflect the trinity you me and god ephesians 5 22 33 beautifully instructs me to love you as christ loved the church and as he gave himself up for her i am to make you holy cleansing you by washing you with the water through the word my beautiful masterpiece i will love you as my own body we will become one flesh your future hubby thank you for listening to the dear future wifey podcast remember be lit live intentionally and transparently and don't stop loving make sure to subscribe to our dear future wifey youtube channel we're available on apple podcast google podcast spotify and stitcher we welcome your support simply share our podcast with your friends and family

Channel: Dear Future Wifey

Views: 113,843

Keywords: dallas, love, podcast, relationships, black love matters, black men, Christianity, healing, weddings, marriage

Id: pNbPjFDEsPI

Length: 86min 41sec (5201 seconds)

Published: Wed Aug 25 2021