DBT Skills: Changing Unwanted Emotions

in dialectical behavior therapy there are a number of different emotion regulation skills so how do we know which one to apply in this video we're going to look at an emotion regulation flow chart that helps us figure out what skills to use to change our unwanted emotions so we start by identifying the emotion we'd like to change or influence and then we ask ourselves does this emotion fit the facts an emotion fits the facts if it's an appropriate emotion for the situation we find ourselves in and if it's intensity and duration are in line with what's reasonable for the situation and there's a whole worksheet we can use to evaluate whether an emotion fits the facts that you can learn about in my check the facts video and you'll find all of the videos i mentioned here organized together on my site selfhelptunes.com where you can download a copy of the emotion regulation flow chart so if our emotion fits the facts we go down this path and if it doesn't fit the facts then we go down the other path and either way the next question we ask ourselves is is acting on this emotion effective or helpful to me so what do we mean by this every emotion has an action urge some action or behavior the emotion makes us feel like doing so for fear or anxiety the urge is to run away and avoid for anger the urge is to attack for sadness the urge is to withdraw or isolate ourselves and so on and acting on this urge would be acting based on what we call emotion mind it's our emotions that are driving our action but before we act on this urge we ask our wise mind if expressing or acting on this emotion is effective in this situation now wise mind is a bit of a tricky concept in dbt there are three states of mind we can operate out of in the motion mind our emotions control how we think and act without taking reason and logic into account in reasonable mind we think and act reasonably and rationally without taking our emotions into account in wise mind we think and act reasonably and rationally while also taking into consideration our emotions and how we feel wise mind is important when making decisions because it helps us access our intuition and inner wisdom and for a more detailed description of wise mind emotion mind and reasonable mind i have a video about this you can check out but sometimes wise mind can be difficult to access in which case we can try using a pros and cons list to help us determine whether or not acting on this emotion would be effective so if we're feeling angry and have the urge to lash out we can ask ourselves what are the pros of acting on this emotion and what are the cons of acting on this emotion and then what are the pros of not acting on this emotion and what are the cons of not acting on this emotion so if we're having trouble accessing wise mind sometimes a pros and cons list can help us figure out whether or not to act on an emotion so now there are a few different options depending on our answer to the question is acting on this emotion effective in dbt there are three main strategies we use to help change unwanted emotions the first is checking the facts which involves looking at our thoughts and interpretations of a situation or event to see how accurate they are and if they're not accurate we modify these thoughts and interpretations to make them fit the facts better and when we do this since our thoughts have such a big influence on how we feel changing our thoughts results in changes in our emotions as well the second way we can change our emotions is through opposite action when acting on an emotion action urge is not effective we can regulate our emotion by using opposite action since our actions and emotions are so closely connected when we act opposite to an emotion action urge we start to change that emotion and i have a whole video that explains how to use opposite action in more detail and if our thoughts are already accurate so there's no benefit in trying to change them and acting on our emotion urge is effective so we don't need to use opposite action then we can engage in problem solving which means going back to the situation or event that's triggered the emotion and seeing if we can't come up with a plan to change that situation so that it doesn't provoke such a strong emotional reaction so now let's plug these options into the flow chart so if we've determined that acting on our emotion is effective then the next step is to be mindful of our current emotion and i talk about how to do this in my video on emotion regulation and acceptance so when we become mindful of our emotion and accept how we're feeling it usually helps regulate the emotion and we'll notice a decrease in how intense that emotion feels and then the next step is to act on that emotion and if our emotions do fit the facts then the next step is problem solving and even if our emotions don't fit the facts if acting on our emotion is effective we can still act on our emotion action urge or we could consider using opposite action instead or we can come up with a sort of compromise between acting on the emotion and using opposite action and we'll look at an example of this coming up and if we've determined that acting on our emotion is not effective then the next step is to not act on that emotion and if our emotion fits the facts instead of acting on our emotion urge we take opposite action and once we use opposite action we can try problem solving to see if we can improve the situation that provoked the emotion in the first place and if acting on our emotion urge is not effective and our emotions don't fit the facts then we use the check the facts worksheet to change our thoughts and make them fit the facts better and once we've changed our thoughts to make them fit the facts better we can then use opposite action so let's look at some examples let's say we're sad because we've had a tough week at work and we feel stuck in a job we don't like we find this emotion does fit the facts and based on this emotion our urge to act is to call a friend and go out for coffee and vent and we find that this action urge is an effective way to manage sadness so we act on it and since our behavior influences our emotions we probably feel better afterwards or let's say we have an exam coming up and we're really anxious and worried that we're going to fail and we find this emotion does fit the facts but if our action urge is to avoid even thinking about the exam because it makes us so anxious well ignoring the exam coming up is not effective so we don't act on this urge instead we take opposite action we don't avoid what's making us anxious and instead we spend some time studying and again since our behavior influences our emotions we'll probably feel less anxious once we start to study now in both of these scenarios since our emotions fit the facts we can use problem solving to try to figure out a way to change the situation that's prompting our emotion for example figuring out a way to get a different job we're coming up with a plan to prepare for the exam that doesn't leave us so anxious now let's say we've ordered some takeout and it gets here really late and it's already cold and part of the order is missing and we're just furious about this and we check the facts and we find our emotion does not fit the facts being a little mad would be appropriate but we're not just a little mad we're enraged now if our action urge is to call the restaurant and complain even though our emotion doesn't fit the facts this action is effective so we do it but maybe we're feeling so angry right now we're liable to start yelling on the phone which could still be effective but we could also consider opposite action as well and opposite action for anger involves taking a time out calming ourselves a bit and then being nice to other people instead of attacking them so here's the combination situation i was talking about earlier where we act on an emotion urge while also using opposite action so we still act on the urge to complain and let the other person know we're upset but we do it in a manner that's not going to alienate people by yelling or screaming at them and we can use our interpersonal objectives effectiveness skills to help us do this assertively and get what we want from the interaction or let's go back to a situation where we have a test coming up and we're panicking about it and afraid we're going to fail but this time we find the emotion doesn't fit the facts we've been studying for weeks and we know the material inside out but our emotion action urge is telling us to stay up all night studying and we realize this is not effective it's just going to make us tired tomorrow and make it harder to focus when we write the test so since acting on our emotion is not effective instead we want to change our thoughts about the situation to make them fit the facts better so we use the check the facts worksheet and when we change our thoughts realize how well prepared we are and that there's no chance that we're gonna fail since our thoughts have such a big influence on how we feel our emotions will change as well and will no longer be as anxious and then we can use opposite action instead of staying up all night studying and panicking we can do something to relax take our minds off the test and then go to bed at the usual time and get a good night's sleep and when we take this opposite action our anxiety will decrease even further so that's how we decide which emotion regulation skills to use in order to change our unwanted emotions and you can download this emotion regulation flow chart from my site selfhelptunes.com where you'll also find all of my dbt videos in my video on problem solving and action plans will be out soon so please hit the like button and subscribe to my channel so you don't miss that or any of my other videos when they come out

Channel: Self-Help Toons

Views: 20,066

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Id: wL3q77CsN3A

Length: 10min 43sec (643 seconds)

Published: Mon May 17 2021