Have you ever said something in the heat of
the moment and then reflected on your actions and realize it really wasn't the best way to
respond? You're certainly not alone. Sometimes acting in a reactive manner can have terrible
consequences this is why it's important to check the facts of the situation before taking
action. In this video I will look at the emotion regulation skill of checking the facts. This is
a technique from the school of psychotherapy known as dialectical behaviour therapy or
DBT. Let's start by looking at an example, during Simon's annual review his manager told
him how pleased he was with his performance, Simon took the opportunity to ask for pay rise.
His manager replied, 'Leave it with me I'll look at the budget for the year and I'll get back
to you'. Simon thought, 'I'm being dismissed, he's not going to get back to me at all, in fact he's
probably not even pleased with my performance'. Simon felt angry and believed that his
manager had made him look a fool. Simon had psychological therapy that evening and his
DBT therapist suggested he complete the exercise called checking the facts. Step one, what is the
emotion you're trying to change? In step one Simon was asked to notice his thoughts, emotions, bodily
sensations and action urges. When talking about the event Simon noticed he felt angry, his fists
were clenched and he had the urge to punch a wall. Simon was asked to write this down. It's important
Simon checks the facts as it wouldn't be helpful if his emotions and interpretations became the
driving force of any future interaction with his manager. It's also important he checks the facts so
he can effectively problem-solve. Step two, what is the event that triggered the emotion? In this
section Simon wrote, 'I asked my manager for a pay rise and he said he would have a think about
it. He dismissed me and made me look a total fool. How dare he treat me that way, he has made me
feel so angry'. We can see that Simon described the situation using very judgmental and emotive
language, this can actually fuel an already strong emotional state so Simon's DBT therapist asked him
to check the facts and rephrase a triggering event without any judgments, black and white
thinking or catastrophising. Simon wrote, 'I asked my manager for a pay rise and he said
he would check the budget and get back to me'. By sticking to the facts Simon noticed he felt
less emotionally charged. Step three, what are your interpretations, thoughts and assumptions about
the event? In this section Simon reflected on his interpretations about the event and his manager.
Simon noticed he used very emotive language: he dismissed, me he made me look a fool, he made
me angry. Simon's therapist asked him to check the facts. Simon then recognized he's adding his own
interpretations and assumptions to the event. Simon wrote, 'I'm aware my manager does have to check in
with the financial team before offering a pay rise. It's not his fault I felt a fool. He didn't make
me feel angry'. Simon started to notice a further shift in his thoughts and emotions regarding the
triggering event with his manager. He started to notice how his interpretations and judgments were
actually distorting the facts and in turn fueling his emotions. Step four, are you assuming a threat?
Reflecting on the threat within the situation Simon wrote, 'I felt angry because I thought my pay
rise was being blocked and I was being dismissed. I also felt out of control because I may not get a
pay rise'. When you feel intense emotions your brain can start to fuel unhelpful and negative judgments
and interpretations. Simon's DBT therapist asked him to check the facts. Simon wrote, 'My manager
has always been really good to me, always pleasant and encouraging. He does have to check the annual
budget and projections before giving me an answer . I don't think he's deliberately trying to block
me or control me'. Step five, what is the catastrophe? In this section Simon was invited to think about
the threatening event actually happening. Simon reflected upon the worst possible outcome. 'If my
manager says no to my pay rise nothing actually changes. I may feel a little disappointed or upset'.
Simon's DBT therapist invited him to think about how he would cope if the worst case scenario
happened. Simon wrote, 'I could talk to a friend, go for a run or use any of my DBT distress
tolerance skills such as radical acceptance'. If the worst case scenario does happen there are things
Simon can do that can help. Simon also recognises he will recover from this, he can handle it
and he can cope. Step six, does your emotion and/or its intensity fit the facts? Simon's
primary emotion was anger and anger would fit the facts if Simon or loved one was threatened
or attacked and would also fit the facts if an important goal was being deliberately blocked.
Simon concluded that anger doesn't fit the facts. Sometimes emotion can fit the facts but the
intensity of the emotion doesn't fit the facts so it's important to reflect on the emotion and
the intensity of the emotion. By completing the six steps you can actively modify your beliefs and
assumptions in order to fit the facts, you can then effectively problem solve. If you have found
this video helpful please give it a thumbs up. You may also be interested in the video on the
screen now and I look forward to seeing you soon.
