Dave Bautista and Kumail Nanjiani Take a Lie Detector Test | Vanity Fair

Kumail yeah mr. Batista hi you're gonna be taking a lie detector test today okay you guys ready yeah yeah I guess one of you will be hooked up to the machine while the other ask questions mm-hmm and then you'll switch okay who's edging to go first who wants to be strapped in first you just shot me I got destructor Dave we'll get strapped in first [Music] yeah you've done this lie detector test yeah no why would you assume are you ready kind of I feel like I'm set up for failure it's so uncomfortable in the light interrogated I only tell the truth okay so I'm just gonna set up a baseline to make sure the numbers are good okay is your name Dave Bautista no no it's David Michael Ortiz did you know trying to be honest okay all right will you bought it born in Washington DC it was okay yes are you ready to take this lie detector test yes how many tattoos do you have David six-six-six tattoos yes see six huge ones why these are all connected so I figure they're just it's one okay tattoo so there's overlap yes one have you ever had a tattoo removed no would you ever consider getting a friendship tattoo with me yes what is it David Michael Batista jr. yes so David Michael Batista jr. collect vintage lunchboxes is that true that is true do you think that makes you less intimidating yes do you have a favorite one yes it is a 1967 Green Hornet lunchbox okay cuz Bruce Lee on it's true you were once a nightclub bouncer yes true 13 years do you think you're that vain to the club yes if I was wearing flip-flops and jeans it depends on which club okay did you see a lot of Ed Hardy when you were a bouncer no okay was it hard he was after after Haussmann's so you're the father of a few pit bulls is that correct - Cheers would you say do you think a pit bull is your spirit animal probably not what would it be well we're just burnt out a movie terpil something I don't know something probably smaller what would you say my spirit animal would be you okay you follow an account on Instagram called pigs on insta Wow if you guys went through we're following on insta trouble yes that's correct yes why cuz I love pigs yeah I love pigs and I don't believe people should be poor don't eat pork is it true you you are part of the WWE for 20 years just under stalkers yes you miss it I miss it very much do you miss wrestling this guy I will I don't at this point because it's still very fresh but yes use the best you miss wearing the wrestling outfit no do you still wear a speedo tis what yes which is why I told this stuff your speedo never do guys do that I know I'm sure they do ok do you think I could take on any of the wrestlers the WWE wrestler yes definitely most of the current roster [Laughter] what do you think my wrestler name would be we talked about back attack have you ever watched the television show glow yes do you know what glow stands for she is yeah your glamorous ladies of wrestling gorgeous gorgeous ladies first thing would you consider yourself to be a gorgeous man of wrestling no would you say Marvel fans are crazier than wrestling fans no not even close okay here's a big question okay do you do push-ups on set before the cameras roll not regularly just what I have in my career yes yes when it's just shortly seen or something no not even when - shirtless team but I once was uh I saw another guy doing push-ups and I figured you know if he's gonna do push-ups I'm depressed I remember the movie it was a man with the iron fist ya know I don't remember the actor how's he like so far yeah he has not lied yet honest person do you think if I've followed your workout regimen I could be as big as you [Laughter] it's it's it's a matter of structure I am a gorilla ask person yeah I have a big head I've big bones big hands large long arms so genetically that's correct well you could be a very muscular person you can who would win in an arm wrestle tracks are Groot Groot really yes I think he's stronger than drugs he's got that tree strike yeah I think Drax is just meaner than grew more tenacious what about a wrestling match between you and this guy an arm wrestling match he should have flexed better yes but I love you buddy I love you dude but not a chance would I be a good addition to the MCU yes did you know I'm in the new men in black a next question is are you jealous and that depends on whether or not you've been - rotten tomatoes in the last guy I know comment on the ratings that men in black is getting but yes that you are a part of that franchises I'm definitely jealous you are in the new movie stupor is that correct that is correct what was your first impression of me I thought you were very warm human being you greeted me with a great big smile and you are excited to meet me and meant a lot first impressions are everything do you have a good Hooper rating I don't I'm not aware of what my uber rating is but I imagine it's decent I'm a good tipper yeah quite a passengers I don't fart in the car a very polite person very polite passengers do you think I have a good operating you know the answer to that you know the answer how could anybody give you a bad rating if acting doesn't work out what you consider becoming an uber driver um maybe you could say oh shoot me I just don't think I'd be a good at uber driver yeah well but I'm a safe driver right that might go along way I'm just not very conversational person which might go a long way as well has he lied yet no he has not at any point during this interview did you lie and we didn't catch you yes and what was that question it was do I remember who I did the push-ups for and who was it I don't want to say because I love and respect this person very much hold on hold on one second hold on we're gonna continue this real quick was it the result it was the result yeah he was doing curls we're getting ready to do our fight scene he was doing curls oh all right well you did great thanks I didn't do it get it admit all right first question this we're just gonna start gauging this make sure it's accurate is your name Kamel Nanjiani mallilie Nanjiani yes and were you born in Karachi I guess not my wife have you ever taken a lie detector test before I have really yeah for one it was for a comedy show that could test while doing stand-up you were accused of a crime no I've never been accused of a crime okay okay let's just start so you move the United States and you're 18 as I correct 18 or 19 years I'm around there and did you do very cliche American activities when you first moved here such as Wyatt eating apple pie and going to baseball game did you buy any I heart New York New York year no the only I heart thing I have is an I heart Singapore t-shirt gotcha and you moved here to go to college this is correct and would you say you had a true American college experience I mean I wasn't like partying or I wasn't in a frat or anything like that but I had all the right answers no answers no would you say your experience was more Revenge of the Nerds or Animal House oh I would say more Revenge of the Nerds if what they're getting at is that I was a nerd yes I was a nerd I was not an animal if those are the two options in order a lot of us are nerds and some of us are animals yeah yeah do you think we would have been friends in college I like to think so me too do you think you would have helped me get good grades I think I would help you would you let me cheat off you test yes is it true you first flirted with your now wife by writing her name and her do that's correct that's crying she's like dude you got King I have no game I ever tell you that what do you think do you still use that move to get people like you no just with Emily now it's in the movie everyone knows why have you never written my name or do I can do it today sweet yeah that's my tattoo yeah do you speak or too much browse that right yeah yeah can you teach me a phrase yeah well phrase do you want suck my Watson or do I use that a lot on Twitter yeah so now I can use it without may date to date you so that made it did teach you so that's right alright translated subtitles before you married your wife did you ever use dating apps no no I tried but I never went out on a date but when it was like before that it was early on so you want to look around I've never around with the idea yeah whatever I think it might have met someone on like MySpace or Friendster or something like that right do you think modern technology is ruining romance no if I were on tinder what would you write in my bio oh really see I don't cuz I never did it I don't know what's good too right I would just say I'm Dave Bautista what more do you want that's that's pretty much the amount of my game would you swipe right on me yes your wife was the therapist and your father is a psychiatrist is that correct she doesn't practice anymore got you so would you call yourself emotionally intelligent sometimes I think all the time I know you're super emotionally intelligent I'm super in touch alright would you say you have more emotional intelligence than intellectual intelligence Wow that's a good question I don't know I'm trying to have more emotional intelligence but I do think I I do consider myself smart but emotional in times it's something I'm trying to work on would you say your wife uses the phrase and how does that make you feel she basically gets that across without saying that phrase because she knows I'm looking hard for that phrase she's got my number she knows what to do alright would you call me emotionally intelligent yeah if I started to cry right now would you handle it would be able to handle it yeah yeah what would you do I whatever I'd listen to you but now I'm around your shoulder well I guess step stool and then put my arm around your shoulder you were super emotionally intelligent you all right what about this man Judd Apatow yeah what about him I think he's great he is great I'd love to work with him again he was a he was a producer on Big Sur great sec do you think he's funny yes do you think he's do you think he's funnier than me is he funnier than you it's different kinds of funny did he ever crack a joke that wasn't funny but you but you left anyway just to be nice I don't blame you I would have done the same thing this is why we get alone we'd get each other man okay you play an uber driver in our new movie Stuber and you played a part time over driver in the big sick but you've never been an uber driver in real life is that correct this is correct how did you do right along with the uber drivers to prep for no do you have a burr elite status I know there's a thing called like a subway black card well you get like free sandwiches every day or something they have Nando's blight - oh do you have that I don't have one do you have any any of these no I just kind of go and pay like everybody else yeah me too I always feel like if they give you something then you own something right that's right that's exactly right yeah so I do love Nando's think about food at any point during this interview did you lie and we didn't catch you I didn't mean to yes it's I don't think I lied I don't think you did you good Ally No

Channel: Vanity Fair

Views: 433,749

Rating: 4.9266934 out of 5

Keywords: lie detector, lie detector vanity fair, lie detector 2019, kumail lie detector, kumail lie test, kumail vanity fair, kumail nanjiani vanity fair, kumail nanjiani 2019, dave bautista 2019, dave bautista lie detector, dave bautista stuber, dave bautista lie test, dave bautista asked questions, kumail nanjiani interview, dave bautista and kumail nanjiani, dave bautista and kumail nanjiani 2019, stuber movie, stuber 2019, vanity fair 2019, vanity fair

Id: 2O5lESQi3RI

Length: 17min 4sec (1024 seconds)

Published: Tue Jul 09 2019

Reddit Comments

[u/elegantlywasted82]

This dude isn't Indian

[u/[deleted]]

Paki

[u/NY-Kobe-6God]

Aziz and Russell Peters are our guys man but Kumail is funny too I gotta say. Humble fellow.