Dame Edna Time - February 1993 - with Roseanne & Tom Arnold

miraculously in the fully furnished bedroom of my Malibu beach house welcome to my bedroom and that's not something I've ever said before not even to my husband I know you're asking why are there so many people here in your bedroom David I must tell you it's not a bit unusual for Hollywood stars to have spectators in their sleeping quarters 24 hours a day you should see the bleachers in my daughter's bedroom she sleeps in the Coliseum she has no band I do can't you see we have company go back to work woman I'm sorry this is my bridesmaid a long time traveling companion imagine all shop don't encourage her look at her there pretending she doesn't speak English with her leaf blower to that forum dress she's wearing reminds me of a mother of right every time I've seen it I get a terrible desire to run up a newspaper and beat her to death she invented the Seattle look she did meds come and sit down insect will you come on come here sit there sit there darling and spoil my show what a courageous megastar I am they have a woman on my show who actually depressive spree father put your skirt down magic put your knees together face you're not Sharon's I'm a bride now on my show tonight I have a I have a wonderful noise it sounds like Arnold Schwarzenegger trying to learn in lines strange muffled noise it's coming from my sleeping alcove what is that noise here on my bed I know who it was it was you wasn't it mad you vile wicked woman darling uh wait a moment what an opportunity this is everyone's dream Tom Arnold gagged and speechless come on think I'll do the interview just like this I think I know tell me Tom cast your mind back who was the foremost influence on your early comedic career Tom oh this is mrs. Rosen are no fool oh look you you take these scissors you cut Tom loose I'll go and get Rosen yes after this very important message we'll be back stay tuned Edna time is brought to you by McDonald's what you want is what you get at McDonald's today now McDonald's always has one extra move on here to join her husband the most famous woman on the planet look well there is you know this man on your left we did wicked all my bridesmaid did wicked things with him I'm afraid on my mattress he was promised to my headboard manacle to my mattress another jealous woman I use it I will beat any woman to death do you ever worry though that when women flirt with Tom doesn't ever worry you at all yes I don't like it night well you had him tied up in your bed yes but this is a safe refuge it's a it's a haven a sex refuge if you like because you'll be very pleased and leave to here as an that I don't find Tom attractive at all he's attractive on paper he doesn't push any of my buttons I'm sorry Tom I'm sorry to say that you built a dream house for yourself now haven't you well not really we just have a great big hole dug in the ground that's the beginning of the dream house so we had some sewer some pipes and we build a bridge and there's a lot to be done it's expensive out of getting a home right yes it is is expensive too but you've saved on plans Tom and Roseanne you've opened your own restaurant haven't you love to hear a little bit about what kind of food well it's a great Midwestern food I'll tell you what we open it first of all cuz we have our farm in Iowa you know and there's no fail serve food past about 6:00 in Iowa so we'd get to the farm and we wouldn't have any food and so we bought this diner and changed the hours and it made it our own so now we have people to service food when we go to Iowa is there a special cuisine Iowa loose meat sandwiches loose loose meat on its on its journey it's actually it's actually frozen at first oh and oh another Devlin Thunder anyway but it's a frozen piece we get the frozen big chunk of meat hamburger good great a American hamburger in a steamer their new steamer let it steam up let it kind of break off now we're starting to get the loose meat effect pieces are breaking off it's like did we take the grease a lot of places they take the grease they throw it out we use it cuz people like it we soak that that we leave the grease on there so it sticks together you got a good packet in time take the whole ice cream scooper you know the round thing you can go like this and it'll all stick together all the meat you take and the two very very fresh totally white enriched buns it cannot be anything healthy at all that won't work and you just put a little bit of grease on each one of those soak them don't suck we don't always talk about a lot of salt it's all in good stuff that life's more red meat and liquor what else is there then you put pickles ketchup mustard oh it's let you want to cheese cheese what to call it loose chee-chee-chee loose meat that is there got the cheese and you know it's good tease because it comes in a pump and you put a big dollop on there BAM it's real good good visit we'll go down there for that you deliver do you we're starting to deliver as soon as we find someone in the area who owns a vehicle I'm sure they do interrupt you I mean to ask you a serious question Tom and Roseanne yeah looking back looking back is there anything you wish you hadn't eaten when you were talking a minute ago Roseanne I can't get enough of you gorgeous woman did you notice my face going a little bit blank yes do you know why was my mind wandered I'll tell you exactly what I was thinking Thomas I was thinking toilet paper I was because we women when we glaze over that are making shopping lists and when I was doing some mental shopping and you know I'm the only person in the developed world with a live link to my local market because if I go shopping people see me there what autographs a tear to pieces so let's bond let's go shopping in my neighborhood grocery store oh it's there hello Tony I'd like some toilet paper please usual thank you lovely about twice as much as that please for the weekend locks herself in I don't know what she does with anything you want Pullman Rosanne some meat there's a Super Tuesday are they super yes they're very super oh look Vincent Price you see these people when you're know shopping in Hollywood could I have 12 large steaks please Vincent 12 large the house please thank you probably other celebrity shopping there that we have a close look at this look what you're letting go look at the round steak 12 rounds round steaks please Vince likes Roth in your maker no over one isn't shopping fun yeah yes yes give us four pounds of that could I have some intestinal cleanse and a please he knows you know he always knows with us my colonic night it isn't every night your colonic giant really it's amazing who you see in these places in Hollywood we'll go out shopping I think they'll continue shopping during the next break Oh I have a dog he's a great dog but he dates the information source I'm just sitting here with some friends talking about my skin you know when you're on the road for four or five months at a time like I am your whole body can get really grimy my skin just gets caked with prime your skin Beverly you're my oldest friend you'd be doing my makeup for years well I get grimy what we all go through I find that amazing and you're my personal in Hastur mythologist why do we ladies get so grimy because you are which is where my product comes in Edna do this is a wonderful product is it's wonderful remember when your mother used to lick a hankie and give you a spit wash well Edna them contains mothers spit I can just feel it smoothing my skin I'm so softly and I use tons of it listen to us we love the way in the derma smooth loosens and nurtures and cherishes and it tastes good and the verb of my low-calorie back fries what are you looking at Caesar there's a young man on your beach madam oh I hope he's not leaving footprints in the sand I can't stand that habit no he's fishing fishing I'll have a paper choose him oh yes he's a lovely young man isn't he Oh what's he doing there he's got something he's got something in his hand it's enormous it's huge he's wrestling with it it's so slippery too isn't it he's having to use two hands on it now it's trying to get away who's coming says that he's coming Oh what are you going to do with your rod new lust now so big it's easier to hold onto purchases just put it put it anywhere it's comfortable Cesar take this fish that Lucas caught for me when you put a little bass around some lemon a rather than some for I'll cook it for about five minutes and throw it back into the ocean thank you darling come on Luke what a thrill this is me tell when you sit down Oh be careful not yet don't sit on that that's my remote control you can accidentally fast-forward us Oh David it's wonderful if used don't sit down yet if this is used properly of course I could press the button and we'd fast-forward ourselves settling down and perhaps get to the first interesting bit of our conversation sooner look for example but there ever a time when Luke Perry was worried about his skin I always thought my half of my skin was getting I got lacerated a lot and had to get sewn up so my grandmother was afraid I might look like a quilt by my 18th birthday didn't things you know arrows stones I wish to bump into things a lot did you know that your skin is the largest organ of your body no no I was aware may I touch your largest role is who was that whoo laughs whoo laughter that suk-hyun stand up you with the glasses stand up for eyes so you find scientific facts amusing clue you don't you think it was funny if I told you that Luke's was 90% water the human body is you know it is Luke sit down it is 90% more than we're like pebbles on legs we are like human sorbets as a matter of fact the urge to lick each other I think so Luke Luke when did you first start dating I guess 12 13 years old really were you ever rejected by Oh sweetheart yes well I think we all have been rejected at one time or another but I was rejected yeah you remember her name yeah I think her name was Lou oh isn't it sad to think she's watching now probably poor Lou how she must regret it now Luke I bet you there she is I can picture her can't you with her grotesque husband this is eating the 20th doughnut yeah struggling to hear what we're saying above the noise of her dysfunctional children Oh aren't we noisy yeah once in a while we are you and Jason this do you see yourself as rivals at all you and Jason no competition whatsoever think so he's in different Talent no little story you'd like to tell us well you know I mean life with Jason is probably twice as exciting as you might think it would be I mean I've known Jason going on about three years now in that time Jason was taking me on adventures well you told that story beautifully but who you became an actor Luke yes did you have any other jobs most of us did yeah yeah I did I had a lot of jobs I everybody you know I I worked in the asphalt industry I paved a lot of roads I flipped a few hamburgers I did my time worked in a factory factory what count of a factory they made doorknobs in oh yeah doorknobs and door parts and sniping it's not funny to think well how many doorknobs would have passed through your hands working the factory thousands thousands of Oh viewers isn't is it a wonderful thought that there are women all over america turning Luke's knob every day turning and perhaps even polishing it Luke yeah sleeve caught on it yeah and sometimes perhaps even their dress hitched up oh I can you should add madam here for your crevasses live thank you you can apply this to your crevice Azure I will if you knock Thank You Luke period we'll be back after this okay kitty cats read my beak no more birds instead try whiskers is made with fresh meat which I know your savages prefer you'll see how well that works thank you Kali was 1936 oh look did this vile thing of course it's mad your shop again the bridesmaid from hell Lieut I'd love to untie you but dumb our interview who Wow

Channel: cfscfs

Views: 74,382

Keywords: Roseanne (TV Program), Tom Arnold (Film Actor), Luke Perry (Celebrity), Dame Edna Everage (Film Character)

Id: dLCfivbjTx4

Length: 23min 18sec (1398 seconds)

Published: Mon Aug 24 2015