'According to Indian
Medical Advisory Board..' 'An average newborn baby..' 'Learns to sit up in four months.' 'Starts crawling
in the seventh month.' 'And finally after 12-long-months..' '..stands up on its own feet.' 'But according to
his family and society..' '..the real achievement
is when he gets a job.' 'First day on your first job..' '..is like a reflection
of the life to follow.' 'And the reflection
needs to be perfect.' PP. - Do you have a toothpaste?
- Yes.. You're not ready yet. It's inside. And hurry up.
Don't make me late on the first day. Kalpesh. Do you want to hear a joke? Why? Usually, people say "Go on". Mr. Piyush Prajapati! Usually people
don't polish their shoes either. Jokes are very good for ice-breaking. Listen to this.. Why do all Python
Developers wear glasses? All of them? Think. Python Developers? Glasses? Because they can't C.. Programming Language "C". What's wrong? Listen, I have a better one. There's a Python developer. And keep the python
developer in the zoo.. Calm down. Calm down. Calm down. We're not going to fight a war. Nor is this a surgery.. ..where a single mistake can
cause the patient to die. There's no reason
to be so nervous, bro. It's pretty simple. We just have to
go and sit in our assigned cubicle.. ..and do coding. But always remember, okay. This world is being run by people
by us sitting in these cubicles. What's so funny? Do you know who said this? This statement was made by
the VP of Syynotech, Mahendra Dhume.. ..in the pre-placement
talk while you were snoring. I am still pretty sleepy. You didn't wear a tie. Why didn't you borrow
from me if you didn't have one? Is it compulsory?
Please don't joke with me. Code of conduct must
be taken seriously. Rickshaw. 'Actually, I was more excited about
the perks that came with the job.' 'You see after you
get your first job..' '..you don't need your father's
permission anymore for a trip to Goa.' 'And even if you
miss a call from home..' ..you can always make an
excuse that you were in a meeting.' In fact, they even take your advice on
the color of the paint at home. So..can I go? Yes. Listen..let's meet for lunch. Okay. Listen..no goodbye kiss? Get lost. 'In short..from today I'll
write the algorithm of my life.' 'Piyush Prajapati Version 2.0.' 'A version that cannot be stopped.' "Please try again." "Please try again." "Please try again." Hey..where do you want to go? Floor 5..area C. You don't have access,
the door won't open. Leave. See..its open. I said you don't have access. Don't you understand? But I am an employee.
I've already been inducted. I am a new joinee. According to the system, you're not. Go talk to the system admin. Leave. Sir, please check in your system. Let me do one job first. Sit down. Put it down. Please hurry up. It's my first
day and I don't want to be late. Do you want this to be my last day? There's no end to these parcels. They never order it at home. They even order their
underwear at the office. Seems like I am managing
a shop and not a security desk. - Name?
- Piyush..Prajapati. P I Y U S H.. P R A J A P A T I. It's not here.
Your name isn't on the list. Leave. Why would I lie? I am an employee. Sir, please it's my first day. There must be another way. Conference room. Conference room B. Do you know the way
to Conference room B? Thank you. - Occupied.
- Is this Conference room B. What the hell? When someone shouts
occupied from the washroom.. ..it doesn't sound
anything like "come in". Yeah, but this is not a washroom. Yes, you're right. This is Conference room B. And still occupied. What are you doing down there? Taking a power nap. The projector machine isn't working. And I can't figure out whether the problem
is with the remote or the USB port. Maybe someone stole
the remote batteries. Did you? No..I was told to report here. There's supposed to be an orientation
and welcome speech by Mr. Mahendra Dhume. Who? Vice President Mahendra Dhume. Ohh..Dhume. That's called a warning speech, son. Why? What do you mean? I mean it got over 20 minutes ago. Go and talk to HR. HR. Okay, thank you. According to the BuzzFeed article
"5-Ways to make new friends at work".. ..the most effective way
is to share work-related jokes. But what do you do when
most of your jokes are on HR.. ..and she's right in front of you. GMAT or GRE? What ma'am? What are you preparing for? GMAT or GRE? Nothing yet. Piyush, do you know
what my job description is? 'Provide stand up
material for comics.' You're the HR manager. No. 'Oh shit, am I in the wrong place?' I am a people's expert. Out there techies code day and night. And in here I decode them. For example, if someone starts talking
out of the blue English accent.. ..I know he's trying
for an on-site project. If someone's family has frequent
deaths, functions, sickness.. ..I decode that he's
trying for another job. And if someone's late
on the first day of his job.. ..then I decode that he
has no interest in his career.. ..because he's already
preparing for further studies. So..GMAT or GRE? - No, ma'am, actually..
- Excuse me, Supriya. - Yes, sir.
- Do you have the updated KRA sheets? Yes, sir. What's going on? Nothing, sir.
New joinee, and late on his first day. Whose team? Megha Asthana. So why isn't Megha dealing with this? She knows it's part of her JD. Sir, I was just ensuring
that there's no PL. Her team is already quite stretched. "PL!" I see.. And before labeling him as a PL.. ..did you even check
with him why he's late. 'Every story needs a good guy, I think I found one.' Sir, actually I was on time. But the biometrics was giving error.. ..so I got late sorting it out. So Supriya, I hope you realise.. ..instead of covering for Megha.. ..you should have called
the system administrator. Yes, sir. Yeah.. Sir..I don't know
if you remember, sir.. ..but you came to our college
for pre-placement talk. And sir, I must say the
way you inspired all of us.. ..it was amazing. And I still remember
what you said, sir. The world is not run by politicians,
film-makers, cricketers.. But by people sitting
and working in cubicles. Yes, sir. And here I thought students only
come to these talks for the pizza. Aah.. Angad Waghmare, please join us. Where were you? Taking a nap during working hours? No, sir. So, can you explain to this guy
why he had to waste half his morning.. ..because of a biometric system
error that you are in charge of? Actually.. Please set up his system immediately. And tell Megha too. You should do your job
first before making excuses. It will save everyone's time. Yes, sir. 'Oh God, Professor X
got yelled at because of me.' I've set up the mainframe. The internal mail system
is already configured. With a temporary password. You'll also need your RSA token. I'll get that. Okay. Thank you. 'I hope he's not taken it personally.' What's the password? Ihopeyoudie_123 'Maybe he is taking it personally.' All small or.. Hi, I am Piyush. Hi. Intern? No, actually this is a long story. I am the new junior developer. Okay. I am Gautam and that's Gambhir. He's always serious. - Doesn't talk much.
- But always listens. Do you have to change
my name for this PJ? So Shetty doesn't like jokes, and
I don't like anyone touching my mug. Just stay away from it,
and we'll be fine. If you're done with the introductions,
then can we all focus on work. Remember Megha's given
the end of day deadline. And you know my policy. If the deadline isn't met,
then the day doesn't end. Hi Megha ma'am, I am Piyush Prajapati. Call me, Megha. - You're the new joinee.
- Yes, ma'am. Ma'am, sorry I was late today.. Piyush, I like mysteries. So why don't we keep the secret
of your late arrival a mystery.. ..and focus on work. Sure, ma'am. Megha, no ma'am. I've already assigned the task. Just have a look and
let me know the timeline. Okay. SQL Stack. 'Shit.' 'Shit.' 'Shit.' 'Shit.' The one thing I've
never been confident about. So..when can I expect it? 'Okay, better play it safe.' Two.. max three days, ma'am. This is a big boy's club,
Piyush Prajapati. Four hours. Relax. Just relax. 'Even Tendulkar must have been
nervous on his debut.' 'The question is where do I start.' RSA token, don't share it with anyone. Sign here. SQL Stack permit. Yeah.. SQL is one thing I am null in. I'll have to read all the manuals. If you begin reading the manual now it
will take your entire probation period. - How long do you have?
- Four hours. Do one thing.. All the codes are available
on stack exchange. Take it from there. Just change the signature. Is that allowed? Who cares if I have
8-years of experience. You have a degree. You'll know better. 'You know it's hard to
say no to an easy way out..' ..when you're at the risk
of getting a duck on your deck.' May I come in, ma'am. Call me kangaroo. - Kangaroo. Why?
- No, reason. Whenever I tell you to call me Megha,
you tend to ignore it. Oh.. Megha. - Sorry. You called.
- Yes. So I gave you four hours
to complete the task.. ..and you managed to do it in two. How? 'Ctrl+C.. Ctrl+V..' ‘Ctrl+C… Ctrl+V... Easy.' Actually, I had some help. I was sitting outside and Angad.. Piyush, I told you I like mysteries. Unfortunately, the only one here
is GitHub or Stack Exchange. Where did you copy it from? 'Esc.' 'Esc.' 'Esc.' I am sorry ma'am, I know you
must be angry but I got a little.. ..nervous on my first
task I was just.. I am not angry. Just annoyed, because now I've to take
the call whether to report this or not. No, no, I am sorry. Just give me by the end of the day.. - ...I will complete the task.
- No need. I've already told Gautam
to complete the task. I've assigned you
some offline demo EPS. Can't risk a PL on a live project. What the hell is a PL? You may go now. - Sorry, ma'am.
- Megha. Yeah.. Megha. Next time, I.. I forgot to tell you something. I changed your temporary
password again. revengeisabitch_123 Lunch on the first
day is always tricky. Whether it's school canteen, college
mess, or even workplace cafeteria. The only silver lining
is maybe Kalpesh had a worse day. Don't eat that cottage cheese.
Tastes pathetic. You already had some. No, but Rajo.. I mean Rajender, my teammate.. ...was telling me while
giving me the tour of the office. Our team leader is taking
us out for lunch, bro. Intro-treat. That's right. What is that? This.. The team gave me a welcome gift. Don't I look cute. No one even bothered to
verbally welcome me. What is this? It's a brochure for DSP mutual funds. My team leader gently placed
his hand on my shoulder and said.. Kalpesh, now that you're a
part of the family.. ...you should know
about the family traditions. What a guy. What? Financial planning, bro.
Give it back. Whatever..finally
you'll plan something. How was your day? Already on the job. Yes, of course. In fact, getting along very well. And guess who I met today. Dhume sir. And you know I have
a feeling he likes me. I had a small biometric
error in the morning.. ...which he immediately solved for me. Wow..sticking up from day 1. You're already an SME in Coding. What? SME.. Subject Matter Expert. Sorry, I am trying to catch the lingo. You see, my way of sticking up.
You know. Well, see you. Where are you going?
Lunch has just begun. There's an induction session
from DSP mutual funds on investments. So..I'll attend that. Listen..do you know what's a PL? Not sure,
but I think its Potential Liability. See you. The dialogue in '3 Idiots'
was absolutely right. Your own failure doesn't hurt
as much as your friend's success. I started the day with the hope
that it will be the perfect first day. And here..there's not a single person
who seems to even remotely like me. But then again,
the day is not over yet. Are you Piyush Prajapati? Hi, sir. Sorry sir, I forgot to
introduce myself in the morning. Did you try to copy
a code from Stack Exchange.. ..and upload on a live project? Yes, sir. Okay. Do you have any idea how risky
it could have been for the company.. ..had the client found it? Sorry, sir. But Megha ma'am has already assigned.. Well if Megha was
doing her job properly.. ..then she would have
officially reported you. But no. She just wants to protect
the image of a righteous hard worker. Doesn't matter how many incompetent
people come on board in this company. Sir, I am competent. The only thing is I took
some bad advice this time. Okay. So here's some
advice from my side. Keep this visitor's badge safe. Because I have serious doubts about how
long can you survive in this company? There's a storeroom
on the second floor. Next time use that for brooding. It's almost soundproof. Sorry, I just needed some time alone. Okay. I don't think I belong here. Yeah, you don't. This is ladies washroom. - It's okay. It's okay.
- Sorry. It's understandable.
It's your first day. Although it's clearly written
outside "Ladies" with the symbol. Mom always said the first
day of the year should be great.. ...because your first day
is a reflection of the year to come. Then half the world should
be hung over the rest of the year. Right? Thank you, ma'am. Piyush. Did you complete
the task I had assigned to you? Yes, ma'am.
I've completed one version. There are some errors.
But I'll tell you once I upload it. Then why didn't you
put in some extra effort? It should have been
compiled in first attempt. But which code compiles
for the first time? There are always some errors. I'll have to debug
it a couple of times. Exactly. It's your first day,
there are going to be errors. And let me save you the suspense.. Even on the second day and third day too. But like you rightly said. Just keep debugging. But my friend Kalpesh in 7D seems to
be getting along without any errors. So? But it's the same job,
same office, same culture. That's the problem
with these cubicles. These cubicles. All these cubicles look the same. Simple, square,
almost indistinguishable. Like the boxes that you get
when you order something online. Maybe that's why we forget
that even if the boxes look the same.. ...what matters is what's inside. The point is everything is different. Everyone has a different
desktop wallpaper. Even the height of the chair. Different sleeping time. And maybe a different
alarm to wake them up as well. From friends to nemesis,
they are all different. Piyush, everyone
has a different journey. And maybe destination too. We may all work in
these box shaped cubicles. But everyone has a... ...different story.
