CPTSD: Are You TRIGGERED by ABANDONMENT?

hi it's Anna Runkle here also known as the crappy  childhood fairy and today I want to share with   you a video about one of the worst triggers of  childhood PTSD symptoms for many of us and it's   the feeling of abandonment now this is one of  the videos from my dysregulation boot camp which   is a 20 day course that helps you calm your PTSD  triggers and kind of get better mastery over your   emotions and thinking and if you're interested  in that I did put a link to it below but you'll   hear me in this video refer to a worksheet so I  just wanted to give you that heads up there's no   worksheet here on the YouTube version it's in  the course I tell a story in this video of how   triggers can get that power over us and I thought  you might find it really helpful for your healing   today we're going to talk about one of the most  intense triggers for childhood PTSD abandonment   this one is so primal because we're all wired to  be loved and included in the tribe as if our lives   depend on it because in any situation before the  last I don't know hundred years or so our lives   did depend on it we need our parents when we're  born and we need dependable people connected to   us throughout our lives so just about everyone and  I know this because I've taught so many people to   write their fears each day and I've heard the  things that come up for everyone being left by   the tribe is a core fear it comes out as fear of  ending up alone and homeless and dying alone and   the fear isn't irrational really it's a standard  feature of being a homo sapien but for those of   us with childhood PTSD it can go way out of  proportion to the situation to the point of   being crippling and it can make us seem really  unreasonable in my childhood my mother would   leave the family for a month at a time starting  when I was a month old she'd run off with some guy   and not tell anyone where she was or if she was  coming back now she did come back but the family   would be in anguish and frantic with uncertainty  and this was going on all around me while I was a   small kid and then when I was about five she'd  sometimes take me with her and leave me for a   moment in a lobby or for a couple of hours in a  movie theater and then she would not come back   for 1011 hours and the police picked me up once  outside a casino that's when I was 6 I hadn't   eaten all day I had a fever now nowadays you'd  lose your kids over something like that but not   back then and I mean I was scrambling to cover  for her because of course I didn't want them   to take me away from her but you can see where I  got kind of a weird thing around abandonment and   that carried into my adulthood and it certainly  kicked up when I started having groups of friends   than boyfriends and then working and trying to  fit in all situations were sometimes there's   rejection and before I learned to stay regulated  any rejection I'll tell you what it felt like it   was as if I'd been injected with a toxic chemical  I'm assuming that was a release of some stress   hormone and I could feel that bad feeling just  like flowing through my bloodstream and I think   oh no here it goes again and I'd fall into a  very dark kind of dysregulation and there would   be nothing I could do to stop it that's a trigger  so you'll be tempted on the worksheet to put a lot   of work into understanding why you have certain  triggers like this one just like I told you why   and knowing this that's possibly helpful maybe  you'll better understand that your reactions to   abandonment are not your fault you didn't just  make it up but I'm gonna direct the majority of   your focus to just remembering and noticing what  it feels like when you're triggered by abandonment   what in your adult life recently has set it off  and what was it about those situations that that   seems to get to you so badly so that's all in the  worksheet along with reflection on how you've come   back from abandonment totally important right one  thing that's going to help you tremendously with   dislodging those deep rooted triggers that have  an early and understandable origin is the daily   practice when you write your fears and resentments  you can pour out whatever is coming up on a hard   day when your fear of abandonment got triggered  fear no one likes me fear I don't know what just   happened fear I'll end up alone when I'm old  and I'm resentful at my girlfriend because   I have fear she didn't text me back last night  and so on deep triggers aren't going to change   because you merely decide to change it's not  likely anyway they change when you can access   that pre language part of your brain where the  abandonment hurt was installed and language   out through writing not speaking writing what  that feeling is that's happening the terror the   self-hatred whatever it is for you you write it  you meditate and you'll find that the emotions   are calmer and they're lying low for the time  being and your thinking is clear like maybe you   don't have to freak out and act jealous this time  maybe you can forget about it or maybe you're sick   of all the fear involved in a relationship and  you want to end it there's no right answer here   the point is that all options are open to you  and you're no longer enslaved by a fear of that   physiological hell associated with abandonment  that limits so many of us with childhood PTSD you

Channel: Crappy Childhood Fairy

Views: 126,592

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Id: 7Lxtf9dyHxY

Length: 5min 33sec (333 seconds)

Published: Mon Feb 10 2020