Covert Narcissists SECRET CrazyMaking Communication Weapon They Use To ABUSE

I'm going to share with you today technique that covert or vulnerable narcissists use it's their special crazy-making weapon that they use to abuse their targets in order for you to understand the weapon you need to understand a little bit of the structure of the personality that's coming with that weapon so we say online on YouTube on the forums we say covert but actually in the literature it's fragile or sometimes it will be described as vulnerable so this was to express that it was in opposition to the previously defined narcissistic personality disorder the grandiose narcissist and those saying wait there is a type of now assess whose fragile who's vulnerable who will show weakness who's not the alpha male the alpha female at top of their class they'll actually be vulnerable and actually promote feelings of vulnerability why is it important for you to understand their fragility in terms of the structure well because if they don't come from this particular structure the weapon that they use won't work so when we're talking about fragile or vulnerable now assess how would we define them briefly so within 30 seconds the way that I would define somebody that you would be saying was functioning from a fragile narcissistic personality structure or strategy would be somebody who is cycling so they're constantly in a cycle of elation and depletion unlike the grandiose narcissist who has a ready supply of narcissistic supply already supply of narcissistic supply so they're on a fairly continuous steady burn of elation the fragile vulnerable artist is failing all the time to get that supply he gets it he loses it she when she loses it again so they cycle between elation and depletion so therefore they're more moody generally speaking than the ground the ocean are assessed but also you'll see them cry you'll see them fragile you'll see them vulnerable they will say sorry they will apologize but ultimately they're only cycling as they're trying to get back up to a position of power because everything that this personality disorder is about is all about power over others the power of the ground the ocean I assess might be to bully you or to reward you it would be something that is done in the light yang style you will see it coming do as you're told or else you're gonna get smacked do as you're told and you'll get the good thing that you want because they have power that's a grandiose classic narcissist the fragile or covert narcissist doesn't have power so they manipulate they could Joel this is what I think why covert it's such a popular way of talking about them is because they can't do it in a way that is direct they have to be indirect so this lack of power this fragile structure that they're coming from means that they have to be intensely manipulative which brings us to their favorite crazy-making weapon of choice so you as the target have to be in the sense in your dyad in the structure of two people in the folly and dirt that you are in and you are in it you're leaning into it otherwise it doesn't work you will perceive them as fragile and you'll go well they can't be one of those nasty classic narcissist because last week they said sorry and the week before that they started crying and opening up to me and they made themselves vulnerable to me so therefore it can't be NASA's it must be something else that's actually part of the weapon the first part of the weapon so it has like a one-two punch effect the first part is to confuse you which you will be confused because you'll be like well who's my dealing with today which version of them if they're related they're showing up as grandiose so if they've got their narcissistic supply they'll be grandiose they'll be the classic bullying narcissist and you've seen them do that but if they're depleted then there'll be the vulnerable Narcis they'll be much more sad they'll show you that they're that they're weak that they need you they need you they need you and you will feel confusion so the first part this weapon is to make the target feel confused Who am I dealing with the grandiose for the vulnerable one is it there the vicious or the kind one which which one of these two personas am I going to be dealing with today over and over and over again so you never know where you are so you're confused you said it's your upside-down and then the next thing that they'll do beyond the confusion which is where the crazy-making this comes from is they will leverage your pity in them by evoking massive feelings of guilt these are the ones who give you the sob story so their weapon comes in a package delivered but it's only the missile delivery system it's not the weapon itself it's not the actual payload of the sob story the sob story so you will have a story of them orphaned abandoned you know some terrible tragic background some operatic level dreadfulness that occurred to them they're the biggest victim in the room don't you feel sorry for them well if you love a person and they've been through pain you'll feel pity for them you'll feel sorry for them that's natural there's no shame in that but what they've done is they've turned that good emotion that standard emotion and they've used that against the human host they've gone ah there's a weakness here if I can present with the structure of fragility and I'm cycling through elation and depletion of narcistic supply that will confuse the target so they don't know which version of me that they're they're actually going to get then I can give them my sob story which is the missile delivery system that delivers the payloads the actual main weapon that's going to drive you completely crazy is you feel sorry for them you feel sorry for them and you won't leave them and you won't kick them out and you won't draw a hard boundary with them because of the sob story and because it makes you feel guilty these ones these vulnerable lacist these covert artists these do the most damage in my humble opinion just because of the amount of confusion they generate in the host the amount of confusion they generate in the target is so much is so high it's so intense and you never know from one day to the next which version of them you're dealing with and you'll you never really know what the truth of them is there is I don't believe any real closure with a fragile narcissist a part of you after the relationship is always going to wonder if they were really that sad lonely desperate victim that they presented themselves as you remember the cat and their shrek the cat loses the eyes huh so sad to evoke an emotional response in people and then when they go oh look at the cute kitty that's when he gets his rapier a sword out and kills them so this is how it works and over time you will obviously this is going to be crazy making because what are you going to do well if you're an essentially good person and you believe that they're a victim and and you love them it's also necessary that you love them or or you know you need something from them or you're leaning in you must be leaning in all of these narcissistically abusive relationships are a diet that means there's two people there's two so they're leaning into you you're leaning into them we know that this is true because I'll say to people you need to no contact yeah yeah I'll go no contact I'll go no contact yeah yeah totes watch the video mate you could watch the video me it was a good video meet about going no contact I'm totally gonna go no contact and you go great and then they'll message me a week later or a month later and they'll go you know you'll never guess what you said to me now and I'm like how do you know what you said too you know well I spoke to him your no contact on you oh no well I couldn't ya know the thing is my six-year-old cousin she went on my Instagram right no wait no no it's a bit no no it that see yeah I did block him and I'm like dude get the [ __ ] out of here come on now no contact means no contact so it's a diet you're leaning into them there's no I'm not trying to shame you about it but if we all want to move on with our lives we've got to be big boys and big goals put on our big-boy pants put on our big girl pants and say look this is what I'm doing I'm acting like a crazy person I'm acting in a way that's completely irrational I'm still contacting this person okay so what do they make you do an Alcoholics Anonymous and in any drug recovery you have to stand up and go hi I'm Richard and I am addicted to continuing to make contact with my ex-girlfriend because I can't make the distinction because of the crazy-making communication that went on for months and years of who she is and the thought that I've abandoned somebody who's vulnerable and is now suffering in my abandoning of her is delivering massive loads of pity to her internally which then manifest his guilt for me to carry so sometimes what drives us back is guilt we feel guilty and I'll just I'll unblock him on whatsapp I don't really use whatsapp I just just in case of an emergency he might have an emergency yeah that's an adult okay if he has an emergency he can call the police he doesn't need you for emergencies you know his mom okay block him and move on with your life so this is the crazy-making weapon that they use they're leveraging your good nature against you over time it's exhausting I think I think covert fragile vulnerable narcissists much more damaging in the long run because the target never really knows people who stay obsessed for years one trying to diagnose their acts I think most of you myself included have been dealing with what would be classed clinically as a fragile or vulnerable narcissist and that's why you're driven crazy by the cognitive dissonance of yeah but no but yeah but no but yeah but no but yeah but no but yeah but no and your brains just giving you like the two different versions of the person and what you have to do is collapse those two two different versions together I'd say that's one person and there are an adult the things that they did when they were mean that's who that person is ladies and gentlemen thank you very much for your time and for your attention there is another video for you that I'd like you to watch right now in this series I look forward to speaking to you insane [ __ ] folks if you enjoyed that there are more episodes for you to watch right here please click on that do you want to subscribe to me do it here and here is a PDF view that is completely free because you're trapped in this weird perverting corrupting Hall of Mirrors and you will end up with the feeling that there is something wrong with you

Channel: RICHARD GRANNON

Views: 2,348,254

Keywords: richard grannon, spartan life coach, abuse, narcissistic abuse, narcissism, how to deal with abuse, narcissists, narcissist parent, covert narcissism, covert narcissists, psychology, personality disorder, narcissist communication, how narcissists test their victims, how narcissists use sob stories to draw you in, how narcissists abuse you, how narcissists communicate, communication, rg, crazy making narcissist, narcissistic relationship, narcissistic mother, narcissistic partner

Id: q6vlnfdo5jI

Length: 12min 38sec (758 seconds)

Published: Fri Apr 24 2020