compiled sam and max clips

hey sam can i no hi there point-and-click adventure games you gotta be kidding couldn't we just use them to cruise for chicks the ladies love a good spoon bending that's curious my scans indicate you don't even like girls it's an engagement ring sam this is all so sudden i i don't know what to say quiet bonehead [Music] nah you keep coming up with creepy disaster scenarios that always end up with you eating me max it's getting annoying if you don't like it then stop looking so damn tasty does the general want a banana i see because i resemble your earth gorillas you assume i want a banana i'm glad to see that earthlings are still so charmingly racist [Music] from now on credit cards are a scourge upon the land and our least favorite thing ever so if you see a credit card rip it to shreds what did i miss i think you just single-handedly destroyed the foundations of the u.s economy over a pile of corn dogs what again most people would be frightened to be tethered to an id driven maniac with increasingly dangerous psychic abilities but not me and i'm absolutely not thinking this because max is reading my mind right now really you know sam that whole stinky kissing thing kind of made me wish for the sweet release of death too hey max take a look the clones are changing all the desoto's presets to public radio now get down with your bad selves hey sam they've got your moves how deeply depressing yeah she's pretty but i have a standing rule against dating anyone who can use me to dig boogers out of their nose i didn't think max had a super ego yes well you're fat yeah again thanks wickedness that nightmare is finally over let's go back to hell oh rhyme oh you're gonna need an assistant director or something you wouldn't be able to handle it sound just between you and me talent is insufferable he keeps telling me make sure you get my good side he's satan he doesn't have a good side suddenly took me in his sam are you okay what oh sorry my brain went into shock for a second to prevent permanent damage please go on maybe the toy box is stashed behind all this luggage possibly let's start unloading [Music] i curse you ooh i'm quaking in my little elven booties why can't we all get along simmons because most of us are a little bunny one recipe to roll them all and one egg for binding how dare you even suggest such a thing he's my little angel wow max is looking pretty buff would it be too weird if i asked him to turn around what's missing from this picture your magnetism is a cute bedtime story but i believe in one thing [Music] okay fine i guess i can believe in two things but that's my lip them them them [Music] in a bug just eat a brimstone sandwich in peace ah brimstone i will feast on your entrails and devour your soul [Music] you exist nice try but i don't believe in you either start crying or i'm gonna dip you in honey barbecue sauce and throw you to a polar bear oh goody i love polar bears don't you get it a polar bear would chop your head off what nothing that cute could be dangerous ouch i didn't think i still had feelings but there they are can you explain something to us there is no question you could have that i could not answer immediately shoot metaphorically max chatting with the former president before violently decapitating eliminate him you are my idol i didn't if you start singing is this the child i carry i'll punch you in the face real hard this place is dumb i know you are have you seen our parents i gotta make duty real bad i heard them laughing as they started the car can we live with you now stinky's is closed kids go run and play in traffic aren't you gonna cut the crust off i've um misplaced my knife you probably left it in the real stinky's body it's an honest mistake oh that's silly you little rascals now i'll run along and play before i call child services double martini with an absinthe chaser served on a stack of porno mads and this is a setup right pretty much everything we say generally is yes sorry max i know you were getting attached to the little guy but it's for the good of the island attached to who oh right did he leave his gun max said the volcanoes were cool and you were stupid for wanting to stop it and when i told him to shut up he pulled out a gun and shot at me sam started it enjoying the island mr lincoln oh god i'm so lonely and on my birthday did somebody say birthday [Music] see anything that will help us stop that volcano max well we could make a human sacrifice these guys don't deserve that kind of treatment okay fine canine sacrifice we'd like to pimp out our car we want some 18-inch blitz type 4 is a six-valve ptx chrome intake double injected gunther regulators on the back ten and some neon on the undertow that flashes morse code saying check it out [ __ ] hey max want to see how i won all those surfing trophies back in school no i don't want to see you cry as a pe teacher and then beg me to club your competitors in the knees why out of hell fire we have to get into that cave beat it we'll give you a nice big rattle for that dumb old gun of yours you two are seriously trying my patience sam let's teach him the wrong words for things as i was saying there's another case solved and with minimal casualties you can't close the store bosco everything we value was bought or shoplifted from here next time you hear from him tell grandpa stinky we said hello oh i don't think we'll be hearing from him ever again damn max the demon didn't get us why won't you guys just die what's he gonna do give him the silent treatment no stop hey hey past me check this out shake that thing you mean what i thought what no wonder why they call this the flounder pounder i'll trade you why what did you get tuberculosis that's what i gave sam last year and that's why we no longer have secret santa at the office my best friend max has something very important to say to you boobies what do nightmares taste like anyway pepsi so loud fashion sorry sir we just accidentally killed your puppy you cracked me up little dude i'm proud we found a non-violent solution to our problem yes ripping the brain from a freshly buried corpse was the start of a kinder gentler salmon max a coffin that's been opened from the inside wait you mean zombie super ball zombies i know what are we doing here again i thought we were trying to win a date with civil gosh no max we've got a job to do you don't even like girls what a relief now i don't have to kill you to get rid of the competition how do you like being high priest of the ocean champs i tried taking confession for a while but everybody kept getting annoyed with me you're just supposed to listen max it's not a contest blasphemy oh hang on the holy water is giving me a religious vision fantastic wait wait do the whole thing with the music and all that oh all right i never thought he'd go for the cheesy evil laugh i love that commercial our lad tell me what is the finest in replacement optics aye aye captain okay go ahead and tell me aye aye captain [Music] i just remembered i hate that commercial i wonder why the germans love midtown cowboys so much it's because of all the deep existential questions it raises and the nudity yes water damage that'll teach your organ to mess with us a creature of eternal torment sucking a pacifier big baby that is not a medically approved use of nipple rings kids you dance like a flounder just pulled up on deck flounders aren't as sickly pale as this guy though where is the source of your power exactly just curious yeah we just want to look at it he single-handedly sent vampires way way down on my list of unholy creatures i'd like to meet and or become you wander around aimlessly and see what you can turn up meanwhile i'll actually figure out where they're coming from one step ahead of you if anybody interesting is buried here probably not now but we can change that we're zombies i know you've got us please kill me what are they doing button or a switch the hell we've got jorgen on the run now how do you figure he's stronger faster and already killed us once today my pep talks are a lot more convincing coming from my body well at least we're not zombies anymore i was hoping that being a decaying corpse would help you shed a few pounds yeah flint we're gonna have to join together and use every detective skill we know to find bosco [Music] well that's a no-go any more ideas hmm it looks like say it it looks like boss goes as clever as you are at cutting edge intellectual humor uh how do you get the dna samples isn't that obvious max doesn't even like girls they're a nuisance at best hasn't been interested since when did that start exactly i think it all goes back to that time we were no flashback okay well it's been ever since junior high max is belligerent recalcitrant and quite possibly psychotic so you're jealous is that it want to keep him all to yourself i never knew you felt this way sam temporal anomaly detected shut up it's not like that what a waste for the senseless waste [Music] spilled milk what have you two been doing all this time hanging out with your mom hey jim what are you working on i'm not supposed to talk to strangers but we're strangers who have candy and cool guns you can play with wouldn't you rather grow up to be as cool as i am with a boss car and a detective job and a huge gun hmm would i have to be as fat as you too temporal anomaly detected you got lucky punk i'd like to meet the man who could murder old stinky hi i'm max are you the parents of those two parasites well not exactly although we do still have a time machine so i wouldn't completely rule out the possibility that's gross max i'm just saying where do you think this portal goes anywhere that's not on a spaceship set to self-destruct and hurtling towards the beginning of the universe all right sam this doesn't work i'll see you in hell so sam is now a good time to start pulling my hair out and wetting myself in panic knock yourself out pal better hurry though laughs and we say nope what about nope what about tugger tool handler okay all right good to know boss goes naked i'm doing everything i can not to think about that unnatural you're not helping in the raw no i'm not at peace mr max i'm ecstatic to be on stage with such a genius what was that what is he doing i'm down kid did you taste her nut log with whip divine we broke hell this is why we can't have nice afterlifes huh i'm back in the office this doesn't seem so bad right little buddy that's right partner [Music] [Applause] max meet demon peepers oh hi demon peepers here says he's my partner and best friend hey there what are you oh god [Music] what the devil that hell was practically inescapable sorry satan your demon impostor was no match for the true power of friendship and cooperation plus i ripped out his kidneys next distract mr bliss for me hmm i seem to be completely naked oh dear hope i don't have to bend over provocatively too that's enough max i hate to say it but peepers is kind of sexy if you're into short guys with annoying voices i guess hey dick peacock [Music] wha what you ruined everything what have you done to his eyes you still want to make out oh hell no i'm not enjoying the poppers anymore can i kill them not if i get them first [Applause] i don't mind sam as long as i'm with my best friend oh that's sweet little pal hey give me one of those pork rinds you were carrying sorry buddy i already ate them all else [Music] hello commissioner no sam's here i don't know he just let me answer it i'll be back ready girl anytime [Music] denied fail hey boss oh dear god hey jimmy wanna touch my unicorn feed it no just touch it [Applause] okay that's quite enough of that and you believe we get paid for this i love this country [Music] that's pretty inconvenient it's okay sam i can be brave we'll just have to struggle cheeselessly onward do you have any weapons of mass destruction who's asking [Music] seriously i'm going to have to place you under arrest how long have you felt these compulsions it started when we found the lady in your closet but he's my pal you're friends with that overgrown sociopathic child oh sorry i thought you meant this overgrown sociopathic child prepare yourself for my hypnotic dance of the third degree on every planet i visit all of the local mole people are invited to ride my fantastic gamma beam to a wonderful off-world vacation they'll never forget i don't kill them [Laughter] oh sorry i was thinking about something else the white house white house agent super bowl speaking have you checked the baby yes sir sleeping soundly oh good job then super bowl yeah that's a negative on the access permission sir i'll have to ask you and your little friend to step away from the white house doggy daddy this is loose cannon request permission to pants this goon over hey sam did i ever mention how i've memorized pie to 1 000 decimal places it's five eight nine 3.1415926535896 nine do you have a piece of paper handy you wanna write down the phone number i remember the number i wanna write myself a reminder to smother you with a pillow in your sleep an apartment across the street while i occasionally flit in wearing diaphanous gowns and discuss the case as a metaphor for our relationship hmm i'm trying to think of a much stronger word for no was a wedding cake ripe for the toppling a wedding cake you want to marry her uh well let me just say i hope you two will be very happy together uh thanks you got 10 grand i'm new at this i have a lot of student loans right luna's a student i can ride it around like a pony it's nice to see you show such enthusiasm security suddenly a tiny candiru fish swims up the pope's and lodges itself and his arthur grabs the pope's pliers and swelled up like a melon and the pope says thanks last time that happened mckinley wanted no wait wait wait i think i told it wrong wanna ride the tunnel of love yippee [Music] me and my partner want to ride the cone of tragedy that's right we've lost our will to live who was that i don't know but if it weren't for the carefree innocence of this carnival i'd be breaking his kneecaps you're a demonic little imp max max the smart ass kid doesn't think we're scary what do you think about that that's telling him little buddy i think that punk learned a valuable lesson sam me too max i didn't realize that the lower lip could stretch completely over the head amazing [Music] i hope there was nobody on that bus nobody we know at least hey max i've got another plan i think i liked you better when you were clueless shut up and climb over the rail any more bright ideas let's start crying like babies maybe later yeah well i've got more hair on my fuzzy little butt than you do on that hollow country head of yours okay i've had a look nobody makes fun of my hair [Music] i'm scared sam stop long enough shut up max i hate that game is that because you're a lousy golfer you're an irritable bunny today aren't you yeah well why don't you try sitting in this smelly booth while i beat the hell out of helpless fish maybe i should just leave you there did i mention what a lousy golfer you were [Music] now i can control the speed and direction of the diner via these mounted binoculars that's the most ridiculous thing i've ever heard [Music] maybe not i wish i knew what max was thinking well that was a waste of money hang back buddy and observe my magic [Music] oops where are all the bodacious bigfoot babes take it easy max you don't even like girls i don't max you really know how to find the bright side of everything don't you yes i do now let's go shoot something you give new meaning to the phrase a face only a mother could love my mama said i was beautiful ah

Channel: Mosnbi

Views: 500,530

Keywords: Sam and Max

Id: ggMs5923ZSM

Length: 23min 38sec (1418 seconds)

Published: Sat Jun 26 2021